pendraechon

[pendraechon]

sakuatsu

[pendraechon]

to everyone who liked and/or reblogged my first work on my previous blog, thank u and i’m sorry for switching up so fast i didn’t realize secondary blogs couldn’t follow ppl n stuff </3

[pendraechon]

let’s get this show on the road again lord have mercy

[pendraechon]

𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐲.

summary: you and akaashi have been together for a long time. things are fine. just fine. but someone has to break eventually, right?

word count: 0.7k

warning(s): angst, no comfort. akaashi’s been a bad boyfriend.

a/n: idk weird way to start off my journey but here we are. i feel like akaashi wouldn’t be the type to confront a problem in a relationship even if it was decaying

akaashi knows he can't keep doing this to you.

the sigh he lets out does little to alleviate the guilt that crushes him as he realizes he has to cancel your plans once more. he feels numb as he slowly picks up his phone. numb as he dials your number. waits for you to pick up.

the ringing in his ear is damn near haunting. it feels like a lifetime before you pick up, but in reality was probably only a few seconds. "hey, keiji," you say. there's a musicality to your voice, a buoyancy that he had nearly forgotten as the past months became missed date after missed date. "are you almost home?" 

the question nearly breaks him. there's faint upbeat music playing in the background, and he can picture the scene in his head.

you, sitting at your vanity in the apartment you two share, bundled in a fluffy robe. music plays cheerily from the old turntable you two found in a record shop during one of your first dates. different brands of makeup are messily piled on your desk as you prepare for the evening. the outfit you had picked out last night is laid out on the bed, and the humidity from the shower is slowly seeping into the bedroom. he can almost smell your perfume. the simple signs of domesticity taunt him, just out of reach.

"hey," he says quietly. he swallows, his throat suddenly dry. his mouth opens, but no more words come out.

you hear it in his tone. despite the distance that has slowly crept into your relationship, you know this part of the game all too well.

the music stops.

"can't make it tonight?" you ask neutrally. he suppresses a shudder at the sudden absence of happiness, knows it's all his fault.

"i'm sorry," he says mechanically. "i need to review this manuscript so i can prepare for tomorrow’s meeting. we can reschedule for next week-"

"it's okay, keiji," you say wearily. the days have weathered you down into a shuffling lump of resigned acceptance. "i'll call the restaurant and cancel our reservation." the word again goes unspoken, but both of you hear it loud and clear.

“i’m sorry,” he says once more. “i love you.” it’s the only thing he can think to say at this point. he waits for a response, but it’s not the exact one he wants.

“i know,” you hum. the line goes dead.

the rest of his shift is spent with a crumpled focus. his motions are automatic, and by the time he gets in his car to leave, he can’t remember the last piece he had been reading.

when he comes home later that night, the apartment is dark and cold. his mumbled, "tadaima," goes without a response. 

he knows he shouldn't be disappointed. the days where you used to wait up for him are long over; how often could he ask you to stay up this late? it was fine when it was one night every few months. but as his job demanded more, the more he caved in. one night a month became one night a week, and soon he was working overtime nearly every day. 

he can't keep doing this to you, or to himself.

he creeps into the bedroom, just barely able to make out your shape on the bed. a strange relief settles over him then. he hadn’t even realized he’d been so tense. he needs you here with him, even now when he’s so effectively pushed you away. he exhales quietly to release the tension and crosses the room to the bathroom.

once he finishes preparing for bed, he silently lowers himself down next to you under the covers, trying his best not to disturb you despite the fatigue screaming at him to plop down. your breathing is even enough, but he can't quite tell if you're asleep or not. he reaches a hand out to your side, hesitates. wonders when he started to hesitate touching you.

the desire to hold you outweighs his consideration. he wraps his arm around your side and buries his face in your neck.

you shift a bit in his hold. "keiji," you sigh sleepily. "okaeri."

"i'm sorry if i woke you," he says softly. 

you don't respond. you're silent for so long, he begins to wonder if you've fallen asleep again. but just as he begins to drift off, you speak once more.

"i love you, keiji,” you whisper. it’s the affectionate remark you’d struggled to give on the phone, he notes. his heart lifts, only to drop at your next words. “i can't do this anymore."

with that, you sit up and slip out of his grip.

[pendraechon]

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

akaashi keiji ↠ weary

[pendraechon]

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

i’ll update this when i actually get my blog goin heehee

[pendraechon]

𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰…

↠ standard dni criteria ofc.

↠ please have your age in your bio before interacting! 18+ please and thank you.

↠ i accept requests (for the most part).

↠ this is NOT a NSFW/dark content blog. please, no requests or messages involving these. however, i may reblog some NSFW stuff, but i will tag it.

↠ most of my posts will be tagged. filter out any you don’t want to see, please don’t complain about the things i post!

i’ll probably add more later, but this is it for now. thank you for cooperating!

[pendraechon]

ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴛʀᴇᴇꜱ. ʏᴇꜱ, ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ.

ᴀʟᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ…

↠ ԃɾყαԃ. 𝟏𝟗. 𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲. 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤.

ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ɴᴏᴏᴋ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴏᴅꜱ, ᴛʀᴀᴠᴇʟᴇʀ! ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʀᴇʟᴀx ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴛᴀʏ. ʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴀ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇɢɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴇʏ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭. 

𝐛𝐲𝐟/𝐝𝐧𝐢. 

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.

[pendraechon]

not me literally moving blogs five hours into my tumblr writing career bro .