phantomoldair

[phantomoldair]

Hello, friend

I haven’t written in a while… yeah…

The exam session was tough, but I passed all my subjects and came back to my country. Next time, I’ll be going back in May. In the meantime, I recently got a wave of inspiration to look for a job—not that I desperately need one, but I figured I could at least chat with recruiters and do some test tasks. Who knows, maybe one day someone will hire me for my dream job! Plus, I honestly enjoy talking to recruiters more than guys 😂 (No offense, guys! Just speaking from my own experiences—love you all anyway).

I already completed one test task, but the company didn’t pick me. Still, I’m not upset because I got to try a new style—soft rendering—and I really liked it! I’ll definitely use it in future works. Also, my entire weekend is packed because I took on a bunch of test tasks… well, two, but they require a lot of time and effort. I thought I’d get some work done today, but OH NO—I’m way too exhausted. Plus, the weather is terrible, and gloomy days just kill my productivity. I barely function like a normal human being when it’s gray outside.

I really hope everything works out. Most importantly, I want to finish these test tasks in a way that I actually like them—so I won’t feel embarrassed sending them to recruiters, like I did with my first one. Funny enough,

I’m not afraid of rejection—I’m afraid of losing faith in myself and my work.

Anyway, time to sleep now…

and now...

How are you doing?🖤

[phantomoldair]

Hello, friend

Oh... what a stressful day it was today...

I had to take a test in a subject I don’t understand at all, and I’m sure I failed. So, next week, I’ll have to retake it. I hate this so much... The only thing that comforts me is that on Friday I’ll have my favorite subject, where I can unburden my soul. But it’s so sad that it will be the last class of the semester, and then "exam week" will be even harder to get through. To unwind, after the test today, I went for a walk around the city and took a few photos.

I love how cities are decorated during the New Year and Christmas holidays. It instantly makes me feel calmer, and it gives me hope that everything will eventually be okay. Tbh i try to take the difficult subjects more lightly... Like in school, there were also subjects I didn’t excel at, but that doesn’t make me dumb. I’m just talented in other areas. I hope everything will turn out fine in the end. And that the dreadful "exam week" will pass quickly.

How are you doing?🖤

[phantomoldair]

Hi, friend

Today I want to tell you about my friend, let’s call him Jacob. We've known each other for two years now and study at the same university. I’m in the Informatics department, and he’s studying to become a math teacher. We both love vampires and games, and he often listens to my impressions of the books I've read and games I`ve played. Hahaha, I still remember how I told him about the books “Haunting Adeline” and “Hunting Adeline”. Everyone was in shock.

But there are a few nuances.

First, we’ve never met or talked in person – all our communication happens in Instagram chat, and that’s it. Yes, I’ve occasionally seen him in a crowd at the other end of the hallway... He’s seen me too... But then I get messages from him that feel a bit stalker-ish, like: "What are you doing sitting on the bench?" ...Well, sitting. There have been many such situations, but neither of us has made the "first move."

Second, I feel like he’s not really interested in me. While he agrees to listen to my stories about books and games, his responses are always the same or sound like something out of an English textbook. For example:

Me: "Ugh, Rachel annoys me so much; she made Chloe steal alcohol." Him: "Oh, stealing alcohol is bad."

Bruh... Maybe he’s just tired from work, but this has been going on for about a year now, and I’m losing more and more desire to text him.

Third, when I ask him about his life, his answers are the same as in second point. But in this case, he constantly complains about how hard it is to find a DECENT girl. He tells me how everyone thinks he’s a creep, and girls immediately say they have a boyfriend after the first message.

So, my friend, I don’t know if should keep communicating with him. My friend Tess even says I should block him. But considering some of the life struggles he’s going through, I feel sorry for him, and I definitely won’t block him.

And how are you doing? 🖤

[phantomoldair]

Hi, friend

Just a few pictures of moment's from my dorm.

I imagine myself as a side character from Life is Strange. By the way, I like string lights as interior decor; they instantly make me feel... at home.

LMAO, running away from reality, like one of my therapies)

[phantomoldair]

Hi, friend

I’ve had this idea to start a kind of vlog.

Why? In "real life," I don't really like talking about my feelings because I immediately feel like I'm annoying the person I'm talking to or burdening them with my issues. So I try to be cheerful, funny, and optimistic to make people feel comfortable around me. But sometimes, that makes it really hard for me personally.

That's why I decided to start this vlog—to unburden my soul and share both the good and the bad with you. 😊

A little about me:

I'm a student studying at two universities in different countries. I love drawing, reading, and listening to music.

Recently, my older sister gave me her old camera, so I'm learning how to use it! 📸

I have a dog and a guinea pig.

I recently arrived in a new country to study at one of the universities. Soon, tests and exams will start, and I'm super nervous. I'm trying to make my time here enjoyable because life shouldn't revolve around terrifying exams on material I'll forget as soon as I leave the classroom. Even so, I still feel quite anxious.

On the bright side, I moved into a room with a really sweet roommate. She hangs out with her friends until late almost every day. She decorated the room with fairy lights, so now I can enjoy a cozy atmosphere while playing Life is Strange: Before the Storm or reading one of the four books I brought with me.

I also thought about improving my “social life” in the dorm by inviting people to play cards or “Mafia,” but for two days in a row, no one showed up. I know these people aren't exactly my circle, but for some reason, it still feels a little sad.

How about you? 🖤