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Dinner at jlaws house
Jlaw:"and that's when I said 'WHERES THE PIZZA!?!?'"
Dinner guests: *forced laughter as they eat their dinner consisting of only bread*
Bradley cooper to me: "can I offer you some bread"
Me: "oh um....I don't eat bread"
Dinner guests: *complete silence*
jlaw with mouth full of bread: "wait....what do you mean you don't eat bread™"
Me: "oh um well I can't-"
Jlaw: *makes wacky faces* "FUCK YOU!! you ASSHOLE!!!" *crying*
Me: "uh well...sorry it's just that I-"
Jlaw crawling across the table towards me: "YOU WILL EAT THIS BREAD"
Me: "please no"
Bradley cooper: "please Jen it's fine...."
Jlaw: *ugly crying* "SHUT UP!!! S H U T U P"
Jlaw: *takes a fist full of bread and shoves it in my mouth*
Me: *muffled crying* "please I have celiac disease I can't eat gluten"
Jlaw:"DONT GIVE IN TO SOCIETIES LIES!! EAT THIS BREAD"
Dinner guests: *still watching in silent horror*
Amy schumer:*thin lipped Amy schumer smile*
Oscar committee: "holy f uck Jen...."
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this is the only place i can listen to this fucking masterpiece of a song
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