preemptive-self-defence

[preemptive-self-defence]

[preemptive-self-defence]

Hi my name is Ozy'mandias, King of Kings and I have two vast and trunkless legs of stone and a frown and wrinkled lip and a lot of people tell me I look like the Younger Memnon (a/n if you don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm a statue but my visage is shattered and lies half sunk on the sand. I’m also a colossal wreck, and I stand in the desert of an antique land where I’ve been for a really long time (I’m ancient). I’m a lifeless thing (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly the passions the sculptor read and stamped on me, which yet survive. I love sculptors and I get all my expressions from there. For example today I was wearing a sneer of cold command and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was standing in the desert. The lone and level sands were boundless and bare, which I was very happy about. A lot of mighty looked upon my works and despaired. I put my middle finger up at them.

[preemptive-self-defence]

[preemptive-self-defence]

[preemptive-self-defence]

[preemptive-self-defence]

idk what possessed me but i went to bed at 7:30 last night

[preemptive-self-defence]

So it turns out the way to get me to like K-pop artists are to make them entirely fictional...

[preemptive-self-defence]

i used to be a green onion

[preemptive-self-defence]

"The trick shot by Laura was actually made in one take. They had planned for a pool expert to make the shot after cutting away from showing Laura hitting the cue ball. But to everyone's surprise, she actually made the shot. Both Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke stayed in character and finished the take, thus the genuine look of surprise on their faces."

In the second gif, she's holding for applause before saying her line.

[preemptive-self-defence]

araña is a beautiful name for a baby girl

[preemptive-self-defence]

*coughs all over your dashboard without covering my mouth*

[preemptive-self-defence]

Lockheed Martin SR-71 Blackbirds in morning fog

[preemptive-self-defence]

[preemptive-self-defence]

One of my friends is a piano tuner. Her dream, or at least her parents' dream, was to be a concert pianist. Turns out she liked messing with the mechanisms more than she liked memorizing songs. It also turns out that "decent piano tuner" pays a lot more than "failed concert pianist," which helped convince her parents as well.

In the same way, I don't think there's any shame in being a race car driver's mechanic. Racing is a team effort. Everyone on that team has to contribute as best they can. From the crew chief who remembers things like "what weekend the race is on," to the intern who puts air in the tires of the car-hauling trailer, they can all share in a victory.

Thing is, the media likes a hero. It's hard to do a story about a whole bunch of people doing their job properly. Not much drama in it. They think we want to see a radical, a loner, a real protagonist. Even the TV news likes to ensure the happenings of the world are conveyed to you entirely by a cabal of all-knowing, handsome talking heads. More heroes, selling you the story of other heroes.

Those people don't really exist, and when they do, they're kind of unpleasant because they won't help you with your shit. Race cars need mechanics; concert pianists need tuners; everyone needs somebody.

That's why I've decided to more flagrantly violate the traffic laws. It's only by stretching these laws to their maximum that the lawmakers will truly appreciate the hard work of the dedicated civil servants who anticipated things like not letting me pull my Volare with a bunch of sled dogs. And if I do manage to find something new, they will all get a great opportunity to come together as a team and ban it. No need to thank me; just doing my part.

[preemptive-self-defence]

deinocheirus waking up on a particularly foggy morning, for day 16 of dinovember