pugasoraus

[pugasoraus]

Hello Neil, just curious, when you lot filmed the AZ bookshop street, was it the same place where they filmed the antique store in Paddington? They look very similar

No, the antique store in Paddington is set in a fictional version of Notting Hill. Gruber's Antiques is where in real life Alice's Antiques is, 86 Portobello Road.

Aziraphale's Bookshop is in Soho, a few miles east. It's set in a fictional version of Berwick Street.

[pugasoraus]

I hate myself for being shallow, but I'm so tired of being ugly.

I went to orientation for my new job today. I sat across from a girl who was so effortlessly pretty, it felt like the universe was mocking me. She was thin and gorgeous, and the worst part was, she wasn't even trying. She was in a worn out t-shirt, no makeup, with her hair loosely braided. She didn't sit up straight, she didn't try to be charming, she was just there. Being gorgeous. Reminding me of everything I couldn't be.

She had freckles and clear skin and perfect bone structure, white teeth that were perfectly straight and a pretty smile.

And I felt like an idiot sitting across from her. In the morning, I brushed and french braided the hair I'd been growing out for two years and I was so excited about how it looked. I was thrilled that I remembered how to do it, I took inspiration from Rory's hair in Gilmore Girls and I always thought she was perfect. I wore my favourite sneakers, even though they take forever to tie and I was almost late because of it. I brushed my teeth with whitening toothpaste. I wore my favourite bag and an ankle bracelet I made myself. I was excited, and I wasn't insecure because I'd been losing weight over the summer. I was finally becoming optimistic about who I could be. My spark came back in the form of creative pursuits, and it brought with it a tentative confidence that was squashed in that room.

I want to be so many bigger things in my life. I want to be an author. An artist. I want to be an academic and an intellectual. I want to be a cinephile, a bookworm. A good friend. A devoted sister. A good person. I want to fall in love and be consumed by it and let it ruin me. I want to make things - films and plays and books - and show the world. I want to be happy.

But if I'm honest with myself - if I'm really, painfully honest - all I've ever wanted was to look in the mirror and not hate what I see. I think all girls want to be pretty, and that kills me. Girls should want to be more than that. It infuriates me to think about them, ruminating about supermodels and waist sizes and face shapes. But I'm one of those girls. I always have been. I stared endlessly at Disney princesses, movie stars, musicians, and longed for what they had. I watched romcoms and thought, "One day, when I'm grown up and beautiful, that'll be me."

That little girl in me dies every time she catches my reflection or sees a picture of me. She keeps thinking the next thing will change this affliction of ours. She thinks if I grow out my hair, cut bangs, wear makeup, dress nicer, smile more, lose the weight, she'll get her fairytale life where she doesn't have to look out for me anymore. Where she doesn't have to breathe down my neck, watch over my shoulder, and trick the world into being kind to me.

My younger self sat beside me in that room. While I watched the presentation, she watched the beautiful girl across from me. But she didn't hate that girl. She couldn't. She hated me because, try as I might, I'd never become her.

[pugasoraus]

the Star Wars fandom isn't having enough fun with the acronym for the Confederacy of Independent Systems but this one youtuber is showing us the way

[pugasoraus]

[pugasoraus]

if it's good enough for you, then it deserves to be made. don't let anyone else decide if your story is worth it or not.

[pugasoraus]

The biggest compliment ever is when someone sees your creative work and says that they’re now inspired to go out and create something, too

[pugasoraus]

[pugasoraus]

Fuck streaming services, I want physical media with extra material! I want behind-the-scenes, I want commentator tracks, I want deleted scenes, I want alternative endings, I want BLOOPERS!

Gimme my damn bloopers back!

[pugasoraus]

I don't see enough people mourning over the slow death of physical media. And I don't just mean TV shows, video games, or movies--which don't even get me started about how we don't really 'own' anything anymore. It includes notes, journals, and letters to one another...so much of our history is lost when we lose a password, a website goes down, a file/hardware is corrupted, or a platform disappears. History that doesn't seem important until you no longer have access to it. Physical media does a lot for memory recall. How many memories will we lose because we don't have something tangible to tie it back to? Something to hold in our hands and stir up those memories we thought were once lost? Sometimes I wonder what the difference between burning a book and losing access to physical media is when someone can pull the plug and remove your access so easily.

[pugasoraus]

"but physical media is worse quality and will break with time" I DON'T CARE! I WANT TO OWN THINGS I LIKE! I WANT SHELVES FULL OF DVDS, CDS, AND A LIBRARY!