purplebenjy

[purplebenjy]

cassielavery​:

Cass pauses, Benjy’s words a bit slow to reach his arousal-addled brain. “Use you?” he repeats slowly, his tongue lingering over the dip in the smaller man’s back. 

Benjy hums as Cass presses a trail of kisses down to his right hip. “Yeah,” he says into his arm, his voice so breathy and gone that Cass wants to cry. Fuck, he’s so beautiful with his sun-warmed skin and starry night eyes and this voice that just draws him in and makes Cass feel emotions he once believed impossible for him to feel. He settles there for barely a moment, his nose skimming his hip and his fingers stroking the back of his thighs. Benjy quivers underneath him and Cass’ breath shudders in his throat.

“Is that what you were thinking about?” he asks quietly, his lips picking up a new trail down to the cleft of his ass. “Touching yourself, thinking about me fucking you. Did you pull on your collar while touching yourself, Benjy?”

Benjy lets out a small whine against the armrest.

“Mm, too bad.” He laps his tongue over Benjy’s hole almost thoughtfully and gives himself a casual pull on his aching dick. 

“Fuck!” Benjy chokes out. He tries to spread his legs farther apart but Cass keeps a firm grasp on his thigh.

“Stay still.” The steadiness of his voice startles him, completely opposite from how he actually feels. Like he’s going to pop apart at the joints from the sheer pressure of affection he feels for this man underneath him. So much…too much.

He ceases those thoughts from taking any further hold by burying his face into Benjy’s ass.  

Benjy tries to speak but the only thing that leaves him is a strangled sort of whine. His hips buck whorishly back into Cass’s mouth, greedy for whatever he can get. He must not be following directions well because Cass firmly grabs two handfuls of his ass and pulls him further apart while simultaneously pushing Benjy aggressively into the couch, effectively pinning him in place. Benjy moans, pleasure building up in him so quickly he’s sure he’s about to ruin Cass’s couch before Cass has the chance to ruin him. 

Cass pulls away just as Benjy feels an orgasm creeping to the forefront of his consciousness. Benjy lets out a pitful whine and Cass scoffs as he sucks a hickey just beneath Benjy’s star tattoo.

“Evil.” Benjy breathes which makes Cass chuckle harder as he starts to pepper kisses all over his ass cheeks.

“Was that a challenge?”

“No-oh!” Cass chooses that moment to bite down and Benjy whines, every part of him aching, his cock hard and swollen, trapped between the couch and his stomach. “Yes-”

“Mmmm, yes what?” Cass says teasingly, the tips of his fingers creeping closer to Benjy’s asshole-not coming close to giving him what he wants, and of course, by teasing him, giving Benjy everything he wants.

“Cass-!” Benjy pleads, which earns him just another dark chuckle. 

“Yes what, Benjy?”

God, Benjy is dizzy with arousal. While he tries to collect himself, Cass makes it all the more difficult by pressing one soft kiss right over his hole.

“Fuck! Yes please! Please!”

[purplebenjy]

cassielavery​:

It’s the two apologies barely within a breath of each other that hurt the most. The fact that the closeted MP who rented his secret boyfriend out to pay debts and gain favor had hidden cameras set up to film Benjy’s encounters was really not all that surprising. He had known entering Benjy’s apartment the first time that he was making himself more vulnerable to Forest but he hadn’t realized that he could also be making himself dependent on him.

Cass caresses Benjy’s head over the blanket and stares into those deep brown eyes.

“Don’t you be sorry,” he replies, matching Benjy’s soft tone as his thumb skims the curve of his cheek. His face falls when Benjy settles against his thigh, revealing the side of his neck.

A sudden rage courses through him, the yellowing bruises blocking out his vision. He traces his fingertips just above the border of the bruise highest on his neck and feels him stiffen.

Without a word, Cass moves his hand back up and tugs lightly on Benjy’s earlobe. “Then…you can just tell me what’s okay and I’ll-I’ll do my best to mind my emotions.”

He feels his throat start to close up around his words and keeps his eyes on his fingers combing through Benjy’s hair, well aware of Benjy watching him only barely covered by the blankets. 

“Am I doing it again?”

Benjy lets out a sad little whine and puts his face down flat just over Cass’s bellybutton.

“You’re perfect.” He says, his voice muffled by Cass’s skin. 

“Can’t quite hear you, Angel.”

Benjy isn’t prepared for the kindness in the gaze that meets his. There’s a fair amount of pity in there as well, but not the kind Benjy is used to. It’s something deeper, something dangerous that’s somehow also safe.

“You’re perfect.” Benjy says again, with more assurance than he thought possible. Cass scoffs, his fingers push through Benjy’s hair and trail down the side of his neck, pausing much more pointedly on the darkest and nastiest of the bruises. 

“That was...” Benjy feels shame boil deep inside of him. “Not everyone is as nice to me as you. But uh, you know, it’s mostly alright. Occupational hazard and all that. Makes it worse cause I’m a bit slow when it comes to what...”

Benjy stops talking as Cass very carefully starts to trace all of the bruises, his frown deepening as he notices more and more of them.

“I’ll make sure I cover them up better if you come back-” Before Benjy can finish his sentence, Cass’s thumb is gently rubbing the makeup he did put on off, revealing the freshness and the deepness of a fraction of one of them. Benjy doesn’t say anything, neither does Cass, and in those few seconds the panic melts away and one word keeps repeating itself in Benjy’s mind as Cass desperately pulls Benjy to him and their lips meet.

Safe, safe, safe.

“Keep going.” Benjy mumbles in the few seconds they break apart for air.

“Please. I love it when you kiss me.”

[purplebenjy]

Island || 001

Something isn’t right. He shouldn’t be asleep right now. Why can’t he-

With a jolt, Benjy sits straight up. His breathing is panicked and shaky, and it takes him a full thirty seconds to realize that he’s not on the ship. There’d been that big hit, a loud noise, blackness and now....

Benjy looks down at himself-he’s topless, which is odd. And he has on trousers he doesn’t recognize. Color creeps into his cheeks when he realizes the implications of that-had he had some sort of episode? Had they docked? But why was he nearly naked? Next he notices what he’s on-some sort of mat? Benjy touches it, its rough but its somehow not hard. Handmade. Beside the mat is sand, sand whiter than he’d ever seen. Benjy looks up, the same sort of reeds that made the mat made some sort of crude roof, it was propped up on two broken pieces of wood, creating semi-shelter from the sun. With horror, Benjy realizes the wood is from the ship-how had it broken like this? Where was he?

Benjy hears the unmistakable sound of footsteps and lets out a noise of panic before he can stop himself. He scrambles to the back of the makeshift shelter, looking around wildly for something to defend himself with. He comes up with a frankly pitiful twig, but he brandishes it all the same. 

“Who’s there?” He calls. Or tries to, his voice is so hoarse its barely a squeak.

@cassielavery

[purplebenjy]

Pre-Cursor || Castaway AU

Benjy hates this  ship, but it certainly beats where he’s coming from. Benjy grew up the second oldest in a family of four brothers-five if you counted him, which many didn’t. His father, as wealthy as he is lecherous, had multiple affairs throughout his life, but only one was unfortunate enough to result in a bastard. Some nonsense about honor had landed him in his father’s manor, but that nonsense only stretched so far. While his half brothers spent their youth growing up in the lap of luxury, Benjy spent his pushed to the side, tucked carefully behind closed doors, only trotted out only when absolutely needed. The servants were told he was a distant nephew, the family was told he was an orphan, the child of old friends. In truth, Benjy was an open secret. His features were unmistakably his father’s, which only resulted in exceedingly extreme cruelty from the woman he was made to call Mother. Even Ezra, his brother only a year younger and undoubtedly the closest thing Benjy had to a friend, soon grew to treat Benjy differently. He ate meals with the rest of the family, but, once the children were dismissed, Benjy went left down the hallway towards the smaller rooms while each of his brothers turned right, going to progressively larger and grander chambers. Still, he didn’t want for much in terms of material things. Just in terms of attention, or love or feeling wanted. 

There were other reasons for his exclusion, he knew that too. Benjy wasn’t an idiot. Far from it actually-he was the best out of all of his brothers at writing, at understanding words on a page, at drawing, the harpsichord. At, as his father liked to helpfully remind him whenever he got the chance, all of the subjects that were only “good for women.” He was smaller than any of them, both in height and size, even thought he was twenty, he resembled a boy of about fourteen or fifteen, with the strength and prowess to match. While his brothers, even the young ones, wooed women at balls and socials, Benjy hung towards the wall, enjoying the way the dancers moved together and trying his hardest not to make it obvious his interest was not in the women. 

It wasn’t natural, the way Benjy couldn’t help himself when he saw beautiful men. It was vile, horrible, and yet, he couldn’t make himself stop. He’d even tried to pray, but, once he was down on his knees, the words did not come to him. They never did. Praying seemed pointless when Benjy had known his fate since he was thirteen. 

His mother who wasn’t his mother at all had a cousin with a bunch of single daughters-of course, that side of the family had moved to Australia shortly after Benjy had been born, and the cousin was now a wealthy shipping industry tycoon and eager to marry off the least fashionable daughter to someone with a somewhat notable pedigree-and that’s where Benjy came in. Australia was always some sort of vague threat, something lurking on his horizon, and now, here he was, aboard a charted ship towards the continent he was not expected to return from. His soon to be father in law had secured Benjy a seat-the only passenger seat, really-on one of his ships that was due to return from England. His departure had been brief and only tear filled on Benjy’s side-and that was only when he was alone in his cabin. 

It said something-not anything nice-that the hired hands on the ship were kinder to him than most of his family, but still, Benjy could tell he was largely in the way aboard the vessel. All the men had jobs to do and all Benjy did all day was wander the decks, sketch, and try to take up as little space as he could.

It was too late for one of these such wanderings, but here he was. They’d been at sea for almost two weeks, and Benjy had finally gotten used to walking around and didn’t fall over nearly as much. Nearly being the key word-the ship had hit some rough waves and Benjy had tumbled rather ungracefully through a hole in the main deck that he knew led to where the crew slept. The crash he’d made had been rather loud, but then again, so were most things on the ship. He laid pathetically for a moment at the bottom of the ladder, sore but certain nothing was broken other than his ego, half hoping someone would hear simply because it would mean someone would touch him, but no one came. Benjy lets out a sigh and sits up carefully, dusting off the shoulder’s on his green velvet coat. He moves to climb up the ladder when he hears....giggling?

Benjy freezes as something hot surges through his stomach. Embarrassment at first, because he naturally assumes they’re laughing at him, but once Benjy realizes he’s very alone in this hallway (save for some coils of rope), the heat turns into curiosity with a little bit of something else. It’s that something else, and maybe that evilness that he can’t quash inside him, that leads Benjy down the hall towards the sound. It’s dark in the hallway, but there are lit lanterns flickering with just enough light that Benjy is able to make his way towards what can only be the crew’s cabins without making much noise. 

The door is open, but its dark enough that when Benjy freezes again in the shadows, neither of the men inside seem to notice him-though of course they seem a little too pre-occupied to notice anything. 

“Shall I blow the candle out?” A voice asks, deep in a way Benjy has never heard before. The voice’s owner moves into the light of the candle and Benjy recognizes him immediately-Amos, one of the only sailors who took the time to talk to him. From their brief interactions Benjy knew he had grown up poor somewhere in London and that his Indian parents had given him a “nice English name” in hopes that he could make it somewhere. His beauty was matched only by the kindness in his smile, and Benjy would be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined a similar sort of tryst with the man who was currently pulling his loose white shirt over his head.

“Leave it.” Another voice says, sharper and somehow even more lustful as a pair of strong tanned arms snake around Amos’s bare middle. Benjy has to stop himself from gasping as the other sailor comes into view, kissing the back of Amos’s neck. He was the tall one, with beautiful blonde curls Benjy always found himself staring at. Benjy didn’t even know his name and the other man made no moves to offer anything other than a polite “hello, sir.” and a nod whenever they crossed paths. His scowl was a constant whenever Benjy saw him, but now his mouth makes giggles as Amos hands him a previously unseen amber bottle. 

“I rarely get to see you when I fuck you, it’ll be such a nice treat for me.”

Amos laughs as all the breath in Benjy’s body leaves him.

“Presumptuous of you, Cassiel.”

“Is it?” Cassiel replies, handing Amos back the bottle and crossing around to the front of him to kiss him deeply on the mouth. Benjy tastes blood as he bites down hard on his bottom lip, his heartbeat is thudding in places he’d never felt come to life before. He knows he should leave, that what they’re doing is wrong and Benjy watching makes him wronger still, but his feet might as well be nailed into the boards beneath them. 

“Is it so wrong that I want to see what you look like when you make those lovely little sounds for me?”

“Dammit...” Amos’s sentence breaks off into a gasp as Cassiel slowly kisses down the front of his chest, falling to his knees in a way that makes the act look far more appealing than any prayer Benjy has ever uttered. 

“Are you going to answer my question, love?”

“You’ll be the ruin of me.”

Benjy watches as Cassiel smirks and without further fanfare, pulls down Amos’s trousers. In his profile view, he can’t quite see what’s happening, it’s only when Amos’s hands bury themselves in Cassiel’s blonde curls and a different sort of noise starts to emit from the room does Benjy put two and two together.

He was kissing him....down there. Was that a thing one could do? Surely it was, for it was happening in front of Benjy’s very eyes. It is suddenly too much, too private, too achingly unfamiliar. Benjy finds his feet and his senses, and scurries back down the hallway, his breath hard and his own trousers suddenly too tight. Benjy places two shaking hands on the highest rung he can reach, and, just as he’s about to pull himself back up towards the safety of his familiar and boring cabin, the boat lurches violently. The last thing Benjy remembers before the word goes black is the rung of the ladder breaking under his fingers.

[purplebenjy]

Don't Binge Watch and Fall in Love || Famous AU 003

Cass: well...i do recall how we met 👀

-30 seconds of pure panic before furiously typing-

Cass: omg fuck im so sorry

Cass: that reads way worse than i meant that, i swear

Cass: im not saying you're a slag. because you're not. or you're not in my experience of you

-0.5 seconds worth of pondering throwing his phone across the room and hiding-

Cass: this isn't an excuse

Cass: my words/thumbs get away from me when im high

Benjy: you mean you get adorable when you're high

Benjy: I might join you, but weed is harder to get here and if I burn through my stash and have to go make my assistant buy for me again she'll probably quit.

Benjy: thats the nice thing about private planes though 😉

Benjy: and I am a slag, Whiskey Sour. It's alright-it means I get to spend all my free time thinking about what it'd be like to have you fuck me until I couldnt stand properly without feeling bad about it.

Benjy: ....if you were with me right now, what would you do to me?

[purplebenjy]

cassielavery​:

Cass feels Benjy stir in his arms and kisses the back of his neck. He has him curled against him with his back to Cass’ chest. The evidence of Cass’ own orgasm has started drying into a slightly unpleasant stickiness between Benjy’s arse and Cass’ thigh, but it’s not remotely bothersome enough to consider putting any space between the two of them.

“Mm, turns out I was very, very correct,” he mumbles, his nose pressed behind Benjy’s ear. He hears Benjy let out an amused huff and smiles into his neck.

Several minutes pass with each of them both stuck in their own post-orgasmic haze. Cass skates his fingers up and down Benjy’s side, listening as the younger man’s frenzied breaths even out into a restful rhythm. He doesn’t remember closing his eyes but the next thing he knows is Benjy’s quiet voice rousing him from sleep.

He squints open one eye and slurs out with a half-smile. “Wassup?”

“I-hi.” Benjy says softly, anxiety he didn’t know he was holding melting as soon as Cass smiles.

“I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

Cass stretches his arms out and snakes one behind Benjy’s shoulders, pulling him to his chest. Benjy smiles despite himself, almost startled by the closeness. First Cass wanted to look at him and now this? He feels a little dizzy. It feels nice, to be held like this, to be treated...equally.

Benjy must stiffen at that thought because Cass’s dreamy expression shifts to one of concern.

“I’m far better than ok but are you-?”

Benjy feels his heart start to beat faster and he has to stop himself from looking over to the corner of the room where the camera is. He realizes what he has to do. Before his brain has even fully caught up with him, Benjy starts to kiss down the front of Cass’s chest, almost aggressively, making a point to be visible to the camera.

“Benjy-?”

“Hold on.” He murmurs, getting low enough on Cass’s body that he can hide under the blankets.

“I’m not-I’m not going to do anything. Not right now. But I need to tell you something and you have to promise me you won’t react.”

“What’s going on?”

Cass’s voice is unlike how Benjy has ever heard it. Sharper. Scarier. The voice of someone who knows Forest. The voice of someone Benjy hopes he can trust.

“He-there’s cameras. Everywhere. He watches the tapes after I uh...after people come to see me. And I get in trouble if-if I break the rules. He gets so mad at me...he wouldn’t uh, like it if he saw you being nice to me like that. He tells me I’m not you know, meant to enjoy it too. That I’m supposed to use all the time I uh, have, to you know...”

Benjy trails off, moving his head so it looks like he’s giving Cass head again.

“I - I’m not supposed to tell about them. But I-you’re so nice to me. And so sexy. And I want you to come back you know, if you want to. And he won’t....we have to follow the rules. I don’t know what he’ll do to me if he finds out you know but uh...if you wanna tell him or stop seeing me, I-“ Benjy isn’t quite sure why his throat is getting scratchy with tears. He takes a breath. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have-you’re just so sweet. And I like you. I didn’t want to keep lying to you or keep that from you anymore. I’m sorry.”

[purplebenjy]

cassielavery​:

But Cass has other plans.

With a final kiss right below the ring of his collar, he pulls Benjy’s tank top over his head and lets it drop to the floor. With both of them down to their socks and intent on not wasting anymore time, Cass takes Benjy by the hand and leads over to the brown leather sectional, the centerpiece of his living room.

“Kneel down here?” Cass pats the cushion of the chaise sectiion as Benjy moves their joined hands up and down the side of Cass’ thigh.

“‘Kay,” Benjy flashes him a smoldering grins that makes Cass’ knees wobble as he sidles past him to the couch, brushing heavily against his side in the process. Without any prompting, Benjy bends over, bracing himself on the armrest and spreading his legs. His dick bounces against his thigh and Cass can’t quite resist giving it a small tug, dragging his thumb down to the head right in cadence with Benjy’s low whine.

“Don’t move,” Cass says in a low voice and bends over to kiss Benjy’s neck but Benjy cranes over to meet him with his lips instead and Cass certainly isn’t one to complain about which parts of Benjy are touching him. Ideally, it would be all him. A thrill shoots through him at the thought of pressing his front to Benjy’s back in bed later, trying to match each one of his cells to Benjy’s so as much of Cass was touching Benjy.

Cass stumbles backwards a few steps and nearly collides with the coffee table, a stupid grin slapped across his face when Benjy winks at him.

“I’ll be right back,”

The speed with which he then leaves the living room for the lube in his bedroom is more what would typically be considered “desperate” or even “dorky” rather than “sexy” and “cool,” but Cass finds he doesn’t quite care when he hears Benjy giggle behind him.

Benjy can feel his heartbeat all over his body as he watches Cass leave, giggling at how excited he clearly is and enjoying the way his ass bounces. Benjy can’t wait, and, to be honest, he wants to see what happens if he’s a little impatient. He spreads his legs as wide as he can, twisting himself just right so he can circle his own asshole with his index finger, moaning even at his own contact. Benjy’s chest sticks to the arm of the couch and it pulls on his skin in a way that isn’t entirely unpleasant. Benjy gets closer and closer to entering himself, and just when he’s finally going to give himself some relief, Cass’s firm grip on his wrist stops him.

“Didnt I say not to move?” Cass’s voice is equal parts amused and dangerous and Benjy about melts when he sees that reflected in Cass’s eyes when he twists around. Benjy sighs and settles back into his position, going limp against the arm rest again, ready for anything and hoping Cass doesn’t stop handling him roughly.

“I took it as more of a suggestion.”

Cass chuckles behind him and Benjy barely has time to register the chill that goes down his spine before Cass’s lips are kissing the back of his neck, half on his skin, half on the collar.

“Oh...” Benjy’s voice breaks off into almost nothing, arousal pooling in his stomach as Cass starts to slowly and deliberately kiss down his spine.

“Cass?”

“Hmm?” Benjy feels the noise rattle through his bones and go straight to his hardening cock. He lets out a pathetic little whine before he is able to muster a response.

“I - I want you to use me.”

[purplebenjy]

Don't Binge Watch and Fall in Love || Famous AU 003

Cass: why's your manager pissed at you?

~2 minute gap while he tries to collect himself, the fool~

Cass: I'd like that

Cass: Even without the glitter

Cass: Just you

Cass: Perhaps a bed

Cass: That common interest of ours and all

Benjy: Doesn't matter

-2 minute gap where hes staring at the typing bubbles before blushing deeply-

Benjy: I've got a big one in my flat over here and tragically, no one to share it with 😪

Benjy: though texting you is almost as nice as you being here

Benjy: i almost asked what you'd do to me if you were here and in my bed with me but i don't want to let you know how big of a slag i am right away.

[purplebenjy]

Don't Binge Watch and Fall in Love || Famous AU 003

Cass: Since I saw you last night?

Cass: Not a whole lot 😅

Cass: Perhaps thinking about you walking around naked in that big ass house of yours covered in glitter

Cass: But otherwise...not much

Benjy: god it was only yesterday.flights get me all fucked up. thankfully im grounded for 3 weeks.

Benjy: not like "grounded" but you know. though my manager is pretty pissed at me so who knows

Benjy: 👀 im thinking about that now too. but uh, maybe you're there too. what would your thoughts be on that?

[purplebenjy]

Don't Binge Watch and Fall in Love || Famous AU 003

-barely 90 seconds later-

Cass: I'm so glad I texted you

Cass: Um...so I watched the music video for "Up" a couple times and uh well shit, you're hot

Cass: A couple of your ones with Skyward "That Girl" and "Runaways" but then that led me down an X-Factor rabbit hole and fucking yikes

Cass: God I sound like such a fanboy right now I'm so sorry

Benjy: oh my god you did NOT watch my x factor videos i want to die-so fucking cheesy

Benjy: but uh, if you liked the Up video, i want it to be known that I do frequently just walk around naked and covered in glitter in real life too if thats of any interest

Benjy: what have you been doing other than stalking my history?

[purplebenjy]

Don't Binge Watch and Fall in Love || Famous AU 003

Cass: *loved this audio message*

Cass: I've lived in California all my life and I have never heard someone say "Cowabunga, dude!" irl 😂

Cass: Look, after the first few interviews, YouTube just took on a mind of its own

Cass: You have a really nice voice

Cass: and no, I'm not just saying that to make up for the fact that I didn't know who you were

Cass: You're really talented. I guess that might be why you're famous 🤷‍♂️

-90 minute delay-

Benjy: oh my god the journalist caught me about to text you back and asked me who i was texting and then grilled me about my love life

Benjy: so you'll have that fun one to look for on YouTube in the future 😅

Benjy: also I told you-all my songs suck, I can't believe you stooped for me, I'm honored.

Benjy: I mean, thank you, thats very sweet of you to say. I don't even want to ask but what ones did you watch? 😬

-15 minute delay-

Benjy: I'm so glad you texted me

[purplebenjy]

Don't Binge Watch and Fall in Love || Famous AU 003

Cass: I thought that might be a touch too far 😂

Cass: Hi!

Cass: Sure? Very British

Cass: Almost as British as you sounded on the Tonight Show giving your best American impression

Cass: Cowabunga dude 😎🤙

Benjy: listen its not a big feat but it made Fallon laugh so its....even less of a feat.i can't believe you watched that 🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

Benjy: i told you im terrible at that kind of shit. i panicked. i forgot what i was supposed to talk about when he asked me about LA so i was just honest.

Benjy: ***Audio Message :15 Benjy saying Cowabunga dude twice, both in a terrible american accent***

Benjy: thats a better go of it, anyway. i think the key to perfecting it was kissing an american

[purplebenjy]

Don't Binge Watch and Fall in Love || Famous AU 003

Cass: So I may have Googled you when I got home last night/this morning

Cass: and now it's 11am

Cass: and I still haven't slept

...

Cass: it now occurs to me that's not a normal thing to text a cute guy I just met and now I'm "that guy" quadruple texting you so...hi, hope you're well

Benjy: you order that biography yet?

Benjy: hi! I just landed.

Benjy: do i sound more british now that im back in the homeland? 🇬🇧☕️

Benjy: here's a fourth text so we're even

[purplebenjy]

Oh babe, I hate to go

They’ve been in the air for a few hours when Benjy feels him slide into the seat next to him.

“Hey, handsome.” Forest says, lowering his voice and heightening his Californian accent. “What are you working on?”

“Nothing.”

 Benjy says, closing his notebook quickly. He’d been sketching more lately, nothing of substance, but he’d been inspired after the other night. Now all the doodles were more sketched out figures, figures of men. Men who might have sparkling blue eyes and pretty dirty blonde hair. He’d connected the drawings of someone who certainly wasn’t Cass with random bits of lyrics, his thoughts, and texts he wanted to send but was too chicken to press send on. 

In short, it was everything he didn’t want Forest to see.

“Ah, well, Andy went to lay down and Ted’s up front acting like he’s smart enough to talk to the pilot, so...” 

Benjy smiles tightly when Forest’s hand creeps up his leg. He wants to tell him that Andy and Ted both know about them, that they’re anything but secretive, and that he’s writing songs about someone who actually made him feel something. Instead, he lets Forest undo the button on his $500 jeans and kisses him back once their lips come together. 

Forest plays with him, chuckling against his lips when Benjy gets hard and then quickly sliding his hand away-never giving him too much. Forest starts to undo his own pants and Benjy knows how this is going to go. Forest is going to push him down on his knees, all but force a blowjob on him, pull him back up and fuck him with his face pressed against the seat in front of them. It just seemed so...boring. Typical and robotic and loveless. Colorless. The opposite of what just one kiss with Cass felt like. Forest stills beneath him.

“Problem, Benjy?”

“Uh...” Benjy shakes himself, trying to figure out how to get out of this without pissing off the man who has made him-the man who could just as easily pull him apart.

“No, sorry I’m just tired. Why do you-oh.”

Benjy blushes, seeing that his erection was completely gone. He quickly redoes his pants and moves off of Forest’s lap into the seat next to him.

“Sorry. I just-” 

Benjy swallows hard, sure the words will get stuck in his throat, sure he’s going to chicken out again. It’s easier to just let Forest keep using him-it makes things less complicated, makes these trips a little less lonely. Benjy won’t have the courage to say anything, he never does, so he might as well try. No harm in nothing happening.

“I think we should um, not sleep together anymore.”

The words hit Forest as they register with Benjy, and he feels the lower part of his back break out in an instant sweat. He’s sure Forest can hear his heart beating. Forest doesn’t look mad-well, he does. But he also looks....hurt?

Oh sweet fucking hell, does he actually like me?

“Oh.” Forest says softly, his professional veneer reappearing after a few more seconds. 

“May I ask why? I mean, lets face it Benjy, it’s not like you’re hurting my feelings whenever you decide to be slutty with your little fans.” Forest’s voice is dripping with condescension and a touch of bitterness. Pointing out how often Benjy slept around was one of Forest’s favorite pass times-Any sympathy he might have felt disappears with those last five words. 

“I uh, don’t think I really have to answer that. I-I want us to have a professional working relationship. A real one. And-”

“Is there someone else?” Forest asks, his tone vicious all of a sudden. Benjy balks.

“Uh, no?”

Yes. A little voice in the back of his head whispers. You only want to be with Cass. 

“Why would there be anyone else?”

Forest runs his hand forward through his hair once and then combs it back.

“I could go to the press.” Forest says softly, so softly that Benjy is sure he’s misheard him, until his manager gives him a cold stare. Benjy can’t help it, he laughs.

“And tell on yourself too? Please.” 

Forest’s jaw sets and Benjy suddenly wonders if he’s going to punch him. 

“As charming as it is that you’re threatening me, Forest, I don’t think that’s necessary. I’m not going anywhere-I’m not breaking my contract. I-I just-I like being friends with you, I like our working relationship-I don’t want to keep jeopardizing that by fucking around.”

His heart’s still beating too fast, he’s still sweaty, but this is the opposite of boring. Benjy feels alive.

He stands, jerkily as the plane hits a little bit of turbulence when he gets to his feet, but he steadies himself on the back of the seat that he’s usually fucked against.

“I’m going to go keep writing-let me know when we land. We can both slut it up in London this time, eh? Cheers.” 

He gives Forest a sweet kiss on the cheek and then he squeezes by him, walking out of the main cabin towards the lounge. Andy’s napping on one of the couches, and Benjy jumps over the back of the other one, landing on his butt and smiling when he does. He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and unlocks it, pulling up Cass’s text convo and smiling at their only exchange-giving each other their numbers. When they land, when he gets a minute and his phone is off of airplane mode, Benjy decides he’s going to text him. 

Nothing like dumping someone and jeopardizing your career at 42,000 feet to make you ready to take a few more risks.

[purplebenjy]

cassielavery​:

Smiling, Cass presses kisses to each one of Benjy’s fingers.

“Are you hiding from me now?”

Benjy’s hands slide down his face and the glint of firelight in his irises turn them amber, a new color for Cassiel’s soul. “Is it working?”

Cass chuckles as he pushes up onto his knees between Benjy’s parted legs. “You could try, but I’d always find you.”

He lets his gaze settle openly on Benjy’s chest, his fingertips skimming over the waistband of his trousers. It is an odd thing to ponder over the countless times Benjy has seen him in various states of undress and this is the first time he’s seeing him just without a shirt. Half-naked and spread out over the starched white sheets, his tan skin warm underneath his palms, and Cassiel feels his mouth go dry. Tonight…tonight is more than he ever dared dream, to bask in the warmth of those eyes with new vulnerability and sweet relief in knowing his feelings are returned.

He takes his time with Benjy’s trousers, tracing his trembling fingers around each button. For some reason, it is his anxiousness to see the garment off that makes him only prolong the process. Make this moment last and last, and in turn, this night will never end and this will be forever in a world that otherwise would cleave them apart.

 And yet, forever in this moment and the next and the following, all including Benjy’s trousers off and perhaps his as well, those would all be nice forevers too.

Ever so carefully, he slides off the trousers, letting them gather in a pile at the foot of the bed and leaving Benjy only in his undergarments. He gazes apprehensively back at Cass, his chest rising and falling with his breaths.

“I am uh-sorry if this is not what–”

Cass does not give him a chance to finish that thought before he is back on top of him, crashing into those pools of amber and tasting new air on his lips.

“You are,” he says, a heady tremor in his voice. “Exquisite.”

Benjy can feel a blush rip through his entire body and he squeezes his eyes shut, inhaling sharply as Cass starts to trail kisses down his neck.

“You are an over exaggerator. Maybe even a li-oh.”

The last syllable of  ‘liar’ gets lost as Cass takes a tentative lick down his collarbone.

“Fuck.” Benjy says softly, looking up at Cass with desperation. 

“Will you....could you keep doing that, please?”

Cass chuckles and Benjy can feel it in his own chest.

“Are you always going to stay this polite?” 

Benjy raises his hands to his face again and something courses through his stomach when Cass grabs his wrists, pulls them off, and gently holds them by his side.

“I-are you expecting me to have an answer when you’re-”

The fire in his stomach burns up his chest and takes over, he reaches up as much as he can to kiss Cass fiercely, breaking free of his grasp to pull him down on top of him again, pushing up into Cass when he relents, not stopping even when he feels his own arousal stiffen between them.

They pull apart, breath heavy between them, Cass’s curls almost red from the firelight. Benjy runs his hands through the back of Cass’s hair, fulfilling a need he hasn’t let himself have before they first kissed. Cass likes the attention and drops his head on Benjy’s bare chest, and Benjy loves the weight of him on him, the way his stubble feels against his chest. Benjy plays with more of the curls towards the back of his head-content for a moment, but not content enough to quite forget what has stirred in him.

“Cassiel-”

“Hmm?”

“Do you know how to take your own trousers off, or do you require assistance?”

[purplebenjy]

cassielavery​:

Cass smiles at him as he takes his phone, ignoring the way his heartbeat quickens as he thumbs his number into Benjy’s contacts.

He’s not out.

I kinda figured that out earlier.

Yes, except now you’ve kissed him. And now you’re giving him your number.

So?

So…you think you can handle how this is going to go down? How not being able to be out nearly killed you before….

That was years ago.

What’s really changed since then?

“I’m really glad I did too,” he says, willing his own voice to block out the argument happening in his head.

He passes him back his phone. “It’s hard to find real people in this town so…good to stick together,” he finishes lamely but Benjy just beams at him and fuck, now he’s really done it.

“I-” he wrings his hands loosely in his lap. “I guess it might be getting a bit late?” His voice pitches involuntarily like it’s a question instead of a statement but perhaps everything from now on should just be a question as Benjy Fenwick seems to have knocked his world off-kilter and everything suddenly uncertain.

Benjy bites his lip as he smiles. “I guess so.”

The quiet between them barely lasts more than two seconds but in Cass’ mind, it stretches across two millennia where two and two no longer equal four and the sky being blue is a matter of debate. All he knows is–

“Can I kiss you again?”

Something tickles the back of his skull and dances down the back of his spine when Cass’s mouth upticks into a smile at the end of his question.

Later he’d lay in bed, unable to sleep, and try to think of how many people asked his permission before they kissed him. Cass is the sole name on that list.

“I wish I could think of something more clever to say than ‘yes please’

Kissing Cass is already almost second nature, but still peppered with surprises. It’s easy to give into the feeling of his hands on Benjy’s face, but the moan that escapes Benjy’s throat when Cass’s tongue slides into his mouth surprises them both. Benjy pulls away and smiles shyly, feeling Cass’s palm move against his cheek as he does. 

“You uh, should probably leave before you keep kissing me like that and turn me into a hypocrite.”

That same tickle comes back when Cass laughs, slowly dragging his hands away from Benjy as he does.

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Benjy leans forward once more and steals a quick, sweet, kiss, smiling the entire time.

“Erm, my assistant is going to be by the front door with the stuff you’ll need paperwork wise. Sorry about that, again. Her name’s Andy-she’s relatively harmless. And she’ll get you a ride home if you need it too. I-”

He smiles again, suddenly more nervous than he’s ever been.

“I really hope you text me, Cass.”

[purplebenjy]

The saddest, neediest little whine escapes him-so pathetic that Benjy is sure if he were with anyone else they would leave in an instant. It’s not fun if he wants it this much-people don’t want him to want, they don’t want him to feel good. He’s a prop, a means to an end, something shiny to look at.

But Cass actually makes him feel worthy-of pleasure, of being looked at, of-well Benjy doesn’t know. It feels different with him. It feels so good.

“Can-“ he whines again, grunting as he closes his eyes, trying to focus on words. Trying to follow the rules and be good. Being good not for the sake of Forest’s rules or the threat of consequences, but because he wants to keep feeling worthy-he wants to keep feeling Cass.

“Can I show you. Please?”

Cass flicks his wrist again and chuckles softly at the stream of sounds that leave Benjy before he bends forward again to kiss him. As their lips brush, Cass picks up the pace out of no where, kissing Benjy’s chin when his mouth falls open.

“More?” Cass pants, the front of his hair is starting to stick to his forehead, his pupils are so big Benjy almost loses his favorite shade of blue. He has never seen a person more beautiful.

“More-! Please! Please!”

He’s barely saying syllables at this point, but Cass sees to get the message. His fingers dance painfully slowly up Benjy’s erecrion as he pounds into him. Benjy is so close to losing control that he almost misses Cass’s command, ragged and rushed and earnest.

“Come for me, Angel”

Benjy let’s go with a cry that he’s sure shakes the walls-an orgasm rips through him so violently he nearly jerks off the bed. Only later, much later when he’s alone again, will he realize Cass held him in place , helping him finish and keeping him steady all at once.

purplebenjy​:

“Don’t stop-” He manages weakly, about to burst over how genuine Cass’s concern for him seems to be. Its overwhelming to be on his back-to actively be a participant in whats being done to him and to…enjoy it. Fuck Cass feels so good, Benjy doesn’t even realize he’s moaning until the sound hits his ears, and the realization makes him flush with embarrassment. God, he’s going to have to rein it in-if he’s obviously enjoying himself too much, Forest might figure out just how good Benjy is is at faking it with almost everyone else. 

Forest. Benjy bites down hard on his lower lip, trying to ignore the ache in his chest when he thinks about his boyfriend. As great as it is with Cass, as much as he’s enjoyin himself and as much as Benjy is sure he really does like him…at the end of the day this is nothing like what he’d been picturing his life with Forest would be. This isn’t what he wanted. 

But maybe Forest was right. Benjy was too much for one person-he was too much, period. If Cass had met Benjy the ‘normal’ way, he wouldn’t want anything to do with him. Nobody would. He’s being so ungrateful and so stupid-Benjy hates himself the most at times like this-he wishes he was strong enough to not think like this. 

“Benjy?”

Cass says his name and the pile of bad thoughts he’d built up underneath himself melts away. Benjy snaps his head forward and tries to smile.

“You still with me, Angel?”

“Y-yeah.”

Cass’s smile feels like a prize and he kisses the side of Benjy’s knee. 

“Good. I think we should slow down.”

“I-don’t stop.” Benjy says, meaning every inch of the whine that leaves him. It feels good-even better when Cass is talking to him.

“I didn’t say stop-just slower.” Cass moves his hips, slowly fucking into him, and Benjy gasps, the mix of pleasure and pressure overtaking him, clearing his mind of anything else.

“Oh my god, oh my god-”

Without realizing it, Benjy breaks his one self imposed rule; he reaches for Cass.

Benjy hadn’t had a problem with selling himself, not in the way he had expected. It was exciting in a way, and genuinely the least amount of work he’d ever done to get paid what he had. He stared at the money-what he’d been allowed to keep- in his nightstand drawer. Benjy thought he’d feel dirty, that he’d hate himself-he would realize later that hating himself more than he already was before sex work was virtually impossible. But all that aside, he didn’t feel bad about what he’d done. Because, ultimately, Benjy knew it was just an act. Pretend. It was just actions, no feelings, nothing real. He would never want someone who was paying for him, not for real.

Benjy had broken that rule for Forest because he thought it was different. And now, without even meaning to, without even realizing it, Benjy reaches for Cass, desperately and fully wanting him without any other emotion folded in. A pure and unadulterated want that was truly his own-that really is different.

“Cass…” Benjy manages, unable to tell him the extent of his pleasure no matter how much he wanted to. Benjy inhales sharply as Cass pushes further into him, squeezing onto his fingers with everything he has as soon as their hands touch.

“Cass-”

At the sound of his name, Cass lifts his head from watching himself and meets Benjy’s heated gaze. Still keeping his hips moving, he lunges forward to taste his name on those lips. The word “transcendent” flits through his mind. They transcend time. They transcend space. Them in this moment exists beyond anything Cass has ever known. As he licks past Benjy’s teeth, their noses scrunched between them, it’s only deeper harder fuck baby so hot sweetness

He reaches down between them and skims his open hand along Benjy’s shaft, smiling against his mouth when he shudders and moans underneath him.

“You close, sweetheart?” Cass purrs, brushing his lips against Benjy’s neck as he continues stroking his palm tantalizing slow against his cock.

“Mmmhmm!” The sound wrenches out of Benjy like a sob and Cass presses a lingering kiss to his throat to soothe. “Please–”

“You want more?” 

They lock eyes and Benjy’s grip on his other hand gets even tighter, coincidentally matching Cass’ grip on his cock. Still deep inside of him, Cass’ hips stutter to a stop, struck once again by the depths of those dark eyes with flecks of starlight in them. He kisses the bridge of his nose and across his left cheekbone, grinning when he feels Benjy smile.

“Fuck, you’re so cute,” he groans, knocking his forehead lightly against Benjy’s and relishing his breath against his face. “And hot,” he adds in a husky whisper as he twists his wrist on the upstroke. Benjy’s cry cuts right through him, snapping something inside of Cass long desperate for release. Pressing one kiss to the inside of his wrist before releasing him, Cass pushes himself up and slowly, ever so slowly he quickens his pace, very much enjoying the sight of Benjy writhing beneath him.

“I bet you’re even hotter when you come.”