purringpearl

[purringpearl]

will take a break from the internet and social media for some time... not sure how long but will come back soon!!! I'm taking a break; all for my mental health and some things going on.. I hope you do well in the mean time and all the time.

stay safe and stay healthy love💗

[purringpearl]

Day #42 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

may (part: 2)

may I block you everywhere?

may I never go to our common spot?

the court we played the most in

games after games, you won and I lost

tell me a word

I'll make a mountain outta it

and that's exactly

how you describe me in front of your friends

may I clear up all our pictures?

may I delete all our chats?

cause when they pop up unknowingly

I let myself drown in them and go dazed

may I never look back?

may I turn on the A.C. this may?

may you feel the heatstrokes this time

"this is how it works", as you always said

[purringpearl]

Day #41 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

may (part: 1)

may I delete your call logs

may I bring back the nights I longed?

in the heatstrokes of may

may I let your shadow haunt?

all I know are the burns

your crystal shiney sun gave

I sweat until the last drop

tired of the games you play

a relieved breathe I took

but then you called up

amidst the heat of may

I played and stayed shut

now tell me who will take the blame?

when both the teams were here

cracking and twisting myself

and you'd blame me there

[purringpearl]

Day #40 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

roses and mints (part: 2)

I let go and move past it

but I'm scared I'm giving you the hints

you don't have to be such a forest

with my favorite scents of roses and mints

aren't you done with me?

or the issues I tell you about my family?

stop picking up my pieces

'cause then I might break in your hands uncontrollably

like the fireflies on a sweet night

you come and refine me

I know we won't last longer

and again it's gonna hurt you and me

be like others in the room

don't dare to construct your separate space

it's gonna cost me a lot

'cause we're never gonna make it happen

[purringpearl]

Day #39 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

roses and mints (part: 1)

"we're just friends", I say

'cause that's what I want

but why are you standing in front

with the bandage you've got?

my ring will never be for you

but you give me your shoulder

I try to resist

but I crash and you once again become my saviour

do you remember when I hit my lowest?

why did you listen to me so calmly?

just hurt me, harm my heart

I'm used to only the fake meetings

you make me think about you

when I stop myself not to

you shine like a ruby in my life

when I'm covered in darkness beside you

[purringpearl]

Day #38 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

my vocal sacs are burning

some days I fall apart

and words can't make their way out

far away in the infinity

my voice becomes an inaudible sound

like the marker ink

these grey trails spread all over, under my skin

and I'm just watching them grow

'cause I'm the only one to see it

my vocal sacs are burning

how do I speak?

inside the same room for days now

and everyone thinks I'm getting weak

wearing the same safety pin necklace

the chain slimed on my neck

that's the only thing that's holding onto me

like I've got it's back

"it's just another rainy day", they said

but why is it everyday?

did I pull someone's string to deserve this?

but whatever, I'll again pretend that it's okay

how the blue sky falls? I know

you are unable to see through the fog

you're unaware of it's strength

and you'll never know when the sky will fall

[purringpearl]

“I am too tired and I miss you too much.”

— Simone de Beauvior

[purringpearl]

Day #37 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one if her songwriters

and that's the way I speak (part: 2)

that's how I speak

when the heartbeats are heavy

that's how I can take you to my dreams

where words tangling with the melodies

that's how my eyes get teary

when the chords intertwine

leaving behind a warm hug for me

love the way these tunes are designed

do you remember my favorite character?

yes, that's where I land

he speaks what my poems can't instil

and everything I wanted to hear when I was left mad

little pieces of my soul are left

with these mediums for me to speak

'cause sometimes I say the words

I don't really mean

[purringpearl]

Day #36 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

and that's the way I speak (part: 1)

my little secret is on my fingers

that tattoo residing on my wrist

lyrics playing in my mind on repeat

which leaves me with soft kisses

do you remember that line?

I highlighted in your novel

oh, that's the way I speak

when my heart doesn't have words

all of it comes out as poetic stanzas

all those highly exaggerated letters

they become me

sour and bitter

these are my lovers

short notes on my phone

lines intriguing my nasty thoughts

when I hang onto the nights alone

[purringpearl]

Day #35 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

it's for the best" as you said (part: 3)

was I such a trouble in this love affair

you'd stay in a hotel room just to get rid of the same air?

then why you'd want me to participate?

in this coldwars and love lores, full of love-hate

now I can't go on further

but you're moving a little too faster

how tangled these threads have gotten

now I can't even knit the gift for you, a sweater

the pseudo potions of your love words

they're haunting down my world

unlucky with myself, now unlucky with you

that's why told you from the very start that I'm a grey hue

so now, you are drawn all over my face

people wonder how I'm a step away from going insane

[purringpearl]

Day #34 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

[purringpearl]

Day #33 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

twin flame

inside of me are these chimes

ringing to echo up your voice

uncertainly soft and painful touches

coming together for my soul to harmonize

and, again, today

this unknown scent lingered on my senses

but when I run to catch its source

I reach the silver painted lenses

where can I find you?

what's your address?

which point on the globe is yours?

amidst the chaos or surrounded by silence

"oh, hug me tight when we meet"

why am I praying without any evidence

some mornings I feel your heart beat in me

and somedays, your inner menace

how are you gonna show up?

in a party, in a train Or on the sidewalks

will I recognise your scent?

will your blood gush with every raindrop?

I keep on imagining our meeting

when will the ignition fuel us?

do you also talk to yourself

and feel these incidents are just not enough?

with every song I write

this universe stenghthens my belief in you

can I keep my hand on our heart?

when you close your eyes, do you see me too?

how I just know you fathomlessly

yet trying to reach an unknown destination

are you too looking out for a hug

and living with only our imaginations?

[purringpearl]

Day #32 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

"it's for the best" as you said (part:1)

I was so confident in myself

wouldn't be a dramatic girl, ugly crying about a heartache

turns out I love to test myself a little too much

and fail while experimenting with my brain chemicals

my whole neural system is after you

funny, every sense brings your reflection too

wish I had walked away at the very start of this addiction

but it's a dependence now, more than a conviction

again at 2 a.m. I wanna text you

but we are amidst a sea that's covered in blue

the stars are falling in our sky

we're falling apart, again, after coming so high

we're cutting the chords to never meet

but do we really want to end all of this so easily?

[purringpearl]

Day #31 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

wait until I hate you (part: 2)

I stayed, waited even with my eyes red

hoping I'm not out of your head

it got really really bad

to make you stay every evening before bed

all my hate flips its side

as soon as I see you; every time

I'm ruining my sleep

seeing you take a leap in my own realm

God, it's just my illusion

even before I knew, you became my obsession

all day long, you run through my mind

I time travel in a broad day light

I walk with your memories

tried to sleep but you spoil even my dreams

throughout our time

i didn't expect to face this, 'til I was alive

but I knew you were good at proving me wrong

every conversation turning into a game of finding faults

your weekends are booked

so tell me when was the last time you complimented on how I looked?

I shared my love, my life

safeguarded it until you arrived

but as my dad says, my choices are bad

I crippled my own emotions on your arcade

with every breath in our home

I died, as it became a house of an unknown

we can't even reverse

'cause it'll be the same way you will end up

I catch us on a rainy day

while others are dancing, I'm pretending we're okay

how easily you took yourself away

so before you go, teach me your ways

[purringpearl]

Day #30 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

wait until I hate you (part: 1)

wait until I hate you

until I find out I'm of no use

you walk away as soon as I enter the room

you're out already and I'm being consumed

I reminisce what we were

now you're numb and I'm hurt

good days are set aside

together on the bed, I feel lonely every night

your favorite perfume isn't the same anymore

the one I bought, you haven't used it at all

can't go back together with you

nor can I see any future clue

I'm hurt and you are stuck

at least I'll use this to hate you

you didn't do anything & that's the issue

'cause I can't drink the coffee you used to brew

I'm dying to hear you

call out my name to always argue

step by step you're taking away your belongings

but you took both of our hearts while leaving

held my hand and took me at the crossroad

you already chose your path & left me alone

it was nighttime while we played the game

I've lost & you'll have to take the blame

but it honestly breaks my heart, you're ready to take it

I see, you're waiting desperately to be emancipated

[purringpearl]

Day #29 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

she is at the edge of us

she is on the standby, ready to enter

at the edge of the end of us

and you knew it all along

poisoned our love, making it strong

how harsh of you to leave me

while I was high on you, living in tranquility

she is smirking, she is laying in your arms

the shade I treasured from the very start

another story that's sad and true

and again, the blame is on you

I wish all my love was gone

I wish the hate would've grown

its empty, the right side of my bed

resembling my dead end

silly of me, I'm still waiting beneath

like everything would go back to our fake realm

I was ready to give it all up

into this love story I knitted, only to be dumped

only if you were here

I could've beared

but you're the one to cut to my bone

how am I supposed to take it all alone?

and truly, as you said, my eyes hold the world

'cause the oceans now are drying up, just by your words

crushing under the mountain

drowning in my own palace

everything made by you

all the dreams gifted by you

is this how it'll end?

I can see her standing on the edge

waiting for me to vanish

waiting for her love, she's about to cherish

[purringpearl]

Day #28 of convincing Taylor Swift that I can be one of her songwriters

lost for love

got lost for love

but I found none

wish to have someone

and not another lesson to learn

oh, my breaths are heavy

and cries are colder

the window is my escape tonight

but I wish I was a little stronger

dont look at me

when I'm a mess this night

I'm fading

lost for love tonight

I close my eyes

another nightmare escaping my mind

I scream again tonight

I wish I could hold me right

am I just a dreamer

hoping for me to get alright

roaming around in the room like a ghost

lost for love tonight

I wish I had a reason

to be exceptional and surreal

but I'm a common teenager

you'll find in every corner

nothing special

but I wish there was a reason

for me to get the love

I need but don't deserve

coming back to my old habits

why is it so tough to change?

but all I know right now is I'm lost for love

though it is a golden cage