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“Carrot cake is the devils creation because why would you defile a delicious desert with such a hideous vegetable” -Zayne probably

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I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind

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I have lots of smut written but idk which to post first. Who do you guys want most?

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A “Who said it? Zayne or Saiki” game would be pretty difficult I feel. Both unemotional stoic sarcastic autistic dudes who wear glasses and are smarter than everyone else who have a soft spot for sweets

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So lizards tend to bite the neck of their mate to hold them in place during the mating process. We know that canonically Sylus is a big biter and now we know why. It’s literally in his lizard DNA that he wants to bite your neck during sex. Furthermore, not only does he have two, lizard hemipenes have spikes not knots. Thank you all for coming to my TedTalk. Shoutout to @onychinusaurus on TikTok for visual proof of Sylus’s cloacal vent in game.

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Random slow dancing with Sylus. He’s a little off beat but neither of you care, you just sway in each others arms, madly in love 😍

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If you believe the panty sniffer allegations: I think to some small degree Caleb would enjoy it if MC called him out on his behavior. Most of the time he’s in control. And he likes having control over her but something in him likes being degraded and humiliated. He would whimper when you call him a “disgusting pervert” or a “desperate whore” and would enjoy when you make him say it.

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What kind of high are the lads guys?

Caleb would get giggly and say whatever thought comes to mind. He’d get conspiratorial too. He did bong rips and keg stands in college. He’d be funny to be around and go on rants like “what if clouds are actually made of cotton candy and all I had to do this whole time was roll down my window but the government is lying to us and telling us it’s not and that we have to stay inside the plane because they want to keep all the cotton candy to themselves” and he would shock himself like it’s some sort of brilliant revelation.

Xavier’s a gummy guy. He’d accidentally snack on them one after another and would watch the ceiling swirl as he contemplates universe. He’d contemplate what’s real and what’s not and how time and space are just a jumbled mess and we’re along for the ride. He’d come up with a bunch of different metaphors for it. Then he would watch a cartoon like Midnight Gospel or Smiling Friends and then promptly pass out.

Rafayel would get paranoid. He’d think scientists are coming to experiment on him because he’s a Lemurian and that they’re going to steal his precious paintings. He’d tell you that you have to hide and he won’t let them get you because “no one steals his miss bodyguard” It’s silly and cute to you but bro is having a TIME and openly crashing out.

Sylus used to do more hardcore drugs. When he first rose to prominence in the N109 zone, he would snort a bit of coke at a booth in the club while surrounded by strippers just bc of the aura. This was before MC of course, back when he was young and even more reckless. But when he does smoke the devil’s lettuce it’s not joints but blunts. FAT blunts too. He also rolls like a pro. That tongue of his does a whole lot of good. If he were to smoke with MC, she’d sit on his lap while he takes a hit and kisses the smoke into her mouth.

Zayne takes chocolates for sleep and to help with the nightmares. He doesn’t often get to relax and honestly has a hard time relaxing on his own so he’ll take something. If he does smoke, he does it on his own, after work, in the dark, on his porch, never around others.

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Sylus likes to watch you sleep. Since his work hours are your sleep hours, he likes to check in on you with Mephisto. Sometimes, when he comes home from work, he’ll just sit on the bed and watch you sleep. You’d think that would be super wholesome right? Wrong. Turns out being a hunter who does nothing but kill wanderers all day and waking up to glowing red eyes staring you down in a pitch back room is actually fucking terrifying! It’s a jump scare every time and you’ll never get used to it.

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I feel like Caleb would cum prematurely the first time he does it with MC. Like he’s so obsessed with her and has been waiting for her for so long. I think just looking at her naked would make him bust lol.

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Sylus snores. A lot. And loudly. MC smacks him with a pillow. It’ll stop for a sec and she sighs in relief and turns over but then a second later her eyes snap open with another snore. They hardly ever fight and she could never hate him but sometimes late at night she feels like strangling him

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What music do the LADS boys listen to?

Rafayel: Rafayel doesn’t easily idolize people but David Bowie is a huge inspiration for him. He listens Lana del Ray and Hozier when he’s depressed. He listens to kpop but exclusively to girl groups. His guilty pleasure is Lady Gaga. He’s also a musical theater kid.

Sylus: While canonically he pretty much only listens to classical vinyls, my personal belief is that MC introduced him to 90s R&B and he loves it. He loves Lauren Hill, Sade and Erykah Badu. He also likes more modern stuff like Daniel Cesar and H.E.R. He’s also expanded his record collection to include old jazz records as well as orchestral works.

Zayne went through an emo phase in high school so he still has a soft spot for that kind of music but now he leans more towards soft alternative like Smashing Pumpkins, Arctic Monkeys and Cigarettes After Sex and The Neighborhood rather than My Chemical Romance but he still likes a throw back every now and then

Xavier: He likes soft indie. He likes Mac DeMarco, Peach Pit, Surf Curse. He’s also a big Hozier fan. His favorite song is Work Song bc of the lyrics “When my time comes around, Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth, No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her” it’s his reminder to himself that even though he’s dying he’ll never leave her.

Caleb: When he was younger he was a big Kanye fan and even though he doesn’t like him as a person he still listens to him every now and again. Frank Ocean, J. Cole and Kendrick Lamar, The Weekend and Tyler, The Creator are all on his playlist.

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Xavier ⭐️🐰 Headcannons

-Xavier loves cartoons and anime.

-He’s a My Hero enthusiast and used to be really active in the cosplay community and always went to ComicCon

-On their days off MC and Xavier stay in Pjs all day eat snacks and watch cartoons.

-They never go out and always order take out. (Unless it’s hot pot)

-Their apartment is 90% blankets.

-Xavier has a sick PC set up and they game together a lot in their free time as well.

-He burns himself while cooking all the time so he’ll just go to MC with puppy dog eyes asking her to kiss it to make it better

-He’s a tit man mainly because they make good pillows and he regularly falls asleep cuddled up on top of MC

-He cannot sit through a movie. No matter what movie or show it is he’s asleep after 30 mins. Because of this he doesn’t get mad when she watches their show without him because if she didn’t she’d never get through it

-When he first came to Earth he tried to greet people using a greeting only Philosians use and got really embarrassed when he found out no one knew what he was trying to do and they just all thought he was weird

-He has a terrible diet mainly because he’s too lazy and unskilled to cook so he just has a lot of frozen meals and easy Mac and cup of noodles

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Zayne ☃️🩺 Headcannons:

-MC drags Zayne to fun events to get him out of his comfort zone.

-MC once brought him to Rocky Horror. He barely reacts and even complains about the ridiculousness of the plot in the car. He secretly loved it tho and MC catches him quietly singing the songs to himself while making coffee the next morning. (He now snaps his gloves like Dr. Frank n furter when he’s scrubbing in).

-He is a super light packer and somehow always manages to pack everything in a carry-on no matter how long he’s going for

-Zayne goes crazy for MC in his shirts especially when it’s paired with glasses + messy bun

-Zayne gets annoyed with MC when she bothers him while he’s reading/working but only briefly and quickly calms himself and gives MC attention and goes back to work.

-He always wants the last piece of chocolate but he always lets MC have it

-MC does a little happy dance when her food is really yummy and Zayne finds it one of the most adorable things ever

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MC never fully appreciated all the small gestures Caleb did for her until she had believed him dead. All of a sudden, she wasn’t coming home to the scent of Caleb’s cooking anymore. Her towel wouldn’t be warm when she got out of the shower (he’d always throw it in the dryer for her). All of a sudden, she had to get a stepladder to reach high places. All of a sudden, there was no one calling her Pipsqueak and ruffling her hair. All of a sudden, the house was silent, scentless, sightless, empty.

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Sylus 🐦‍⬛🍷 headcannons:

-Sylus takes MC on long shopping trips. MC gets tired and says he’s doing too much and he tells her to shut it because he’s treating her whether she likes it or not.

-Even though the tailor already has her measurements, he still makes her try everything on just as an excuse to see her in it.

-Sylus buys her expensive jewelry that he knows she’ll never actually wear. He just likes the most beautiful person in his life to own the most beautiful things. To him she is one of his beloved treasures.

-They often take baths together. He has a bathtub so massive it might as well be a hot tub. They soak in the bubbles and sip wine while they chat or read or watch tv together.

-Sylus is really good at braiding hair and is happy to do it for her

-When Sylus found out they were having a daughter he bought out an entire department store of designer baby clothes and already put together her college fund

-When her water broke it was the only time MC had ever seen Sylus panic.

-When she gave birth and he held his baby girl for the first time it was the first time she saw him cry.

-Sylus helps MC dye her roots even though he can afford to send her to a salon they have fun doing it together