queercounselor

[queercounselor]

Kinda weird how you say you’re against fascism yet you shut down anyone just because they share a different opinion than you. You guys are exactly what you say you hate... FASCIST! How come I have never seen any member of antifa actually sit down with someone and have a civil debate? I’ve only ever seen them yell and throw tantrums. Doesn’t look good for you guys, yikes.

[queercounselor]

Thanks everyone that contributed to my Marvel Pride event, getting merch or just retweeting my images. Really hyped to do it all over again next year (hopefully with an entirely new cast of characters, get on it, Marvel)

And of course thanks to my Patrons and commissioners, for having the patience of saints

[queercounselor]

I mean, I got a free puberty, it's just not what I ordered, and I felt reeaaalll awkward sending it back to the kitchen cause I didn't want to bother the waiter and I thought the chef would be pissed off, and I blamed myself because maybe I wasn't speaking clearly, or maybe I misunderstood the menu. And I told myself: "Well it was free, so maybe I shouldn't complain." But my friend, who was already enjoying her second puberty, was like: "Nah, speak up for yourself, send it back." So I did, and I was proud of myself that I got the right order, but I had misunderstood since it wasn't on the free menu, and my friend couldn't spot me, so I had to wash existential dishes to pay off my second puberty.

[queercounselor]

Don't push yourself to come out until you're feeling safe and ready to do so...but also know that coming out is often recurrent. It's always your choice whether or not to disclose your personal identity, as there are so many situational contexts! But let's be real. There will be days when it's not emotionally safe, and your hands will shake, and your voice will crack, and your truth will burn so bright... Maybe you will have to correct a teacher who keeps misgendering you. Maybe you'll have to stand-up for what's right in the workplace. Maybe you'll see someone else in the closet and want to role model courage, just so they know they're not alone. Be proud of yourself amongst friends and allies. Be proud of yourself in the face of adversity. Flag: Pride Flag - - - - - - - - - - - - - - #showyourpride #pride #Pride2021 #lgbtqmentalhealth #LGBTmentalhealth #LGBTQ+ #lgbtq #lgbtqpositivity #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtq🌈 #glbt #queer #genderqueer #nonbinary #translivesmatter #loveislove #nonbinarypride #enby #enbypride #genderfluid #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #resilience https://www.instagram.com/p/CQp3AXaMRPT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 20: A song that reminds me of pride.

So this music video borders on being a documentary, but I love Rainbow Kitten Surprise, drag, and a queer story with a happy ending, so I highly recommend it. The song's called "Hide."

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 19: Someone in my life who inspires me? My partner Adare (they/them)! Who else could it be??? We took this photoshoot in honor of their one year on T. We've been together for 15 adventurous, wild and amazing years after we first met at Burning Man. We're both fire dancers, and shapeshifters, but Adare amazes me everyday. They have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, so their bones are always dislocating and their organs move out of place, but this only empowers them more. They're a classically trained portrait artist, who has painting some truly amazing rockstars, social justice advocates, and LGBTQ icons. I included a link to their series Restraint & Revolution (nudity warning). And somehow they also run nonprofit in Hawai'i creating art workshops for people in need. I love them so much. They've helped me grow in so many ways.

They don't post much on tumblr but try twitter, and facebook by finding @AdareArt.

https://www.roseadare.com/restraint-and-revolution

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 18! Tag someone nice! Uh...I feel like the queer kid at prom. I don't know who to tag or if they'd even bat an eye.

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 17! Favorite LGBTQIA+ video game moment...well I don't know if it's my favorite, but I'm gonna give a nod to how naturally Borderlands introduces sexually diverse characters without batting an eye. Also, I gotta give a shout out to Wainwright Jakobs and Alistair Hammerlock.

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 16, my favorite LGBTQIA TV moment? There's some amazing tv moments I adore. I could go on about the first time I saw Rocky Horror, or even when Korra and Assami kiss in Avatar, but you know what? It's the Steven Universe episode Alone Together, because it's the first time we encounter Stevonnie...and it was the first time I saw a cartoon character that genuinely felt like me.

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 15! Favorite ship. Hahahahahahaaha, yes.

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 14! Favorite lgbtqia+ meme! It’s this one, by @bearlyboycomics because this is my life. It’s also a really useful meme I can send new friends who are just getting to know me, since it summarizes so much of what I go through daily in four panels.

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 13: When did I realize I wasn't straight?

The image I used for this Psychology Today post is yours truly at age 7, I'm sharing the link because I had to relearn how to claim my childhood innocence. At age 7 I grew out my hair and was instantaneously perceived as a girl, which was incredibly liberating....and also problematic given all the violence that came next. It was also around that time I became very aware of my attraction to men. So, essentially, I've been as queer for as long as I can remember. In retrospect everything was always so serious. I like to tell people now that I'm aging backwards. I laugh more now than I ever have in my laugh, and I definitely cry way less.

[queercounselor]

Friendly reminder that corporations are not your friends, no matter how many rainbows they splatter all over during pride month

[queercounselor]

Todays #showyourpride challenge isn't a challenge, it's a vigil.

I remember the Admiral Duncan bombing when I was growing up in the UK. When I moved to America I thought things would be more open minded, or at least I hoped they would be. I included a link below to a list of terrible events, like what happened in Orlando in 2016. It's an old, repetitive story, and one that needs to end.

https://www.towleroad.com/2016/06/gay-bar-attacks/

[queercounselor]

So I gotta confess, several years ago I was very malicious towards the LGBT and Gender Identity. It wasn’t until I became close friends with someone who identified as non-binary that I tried to be more tolerant for their sake. But the truth is I simply cannot be accepting to people I cannot understand.

Like I understand Lesbians, Homosexuals, and Bisexuals they simply have an attraction towards a gender. But for the life of me I cannot grasp my head around transgender, gender neutral, non-binary, agender, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, or third gender. I cannot understand why people would feel uncomfortable with their born gender are and why they so desperately want to be something else. I can understand the Intersex, they didn’t have a choice in the matter. But I really want to understand, I really really want to.

Please explain this to me! It’s eating me up inside and I want to understand for my friend’s sake!

(My own personal explanation of non-binary identity, with a fun little Imagine This As A Metaphor in the middle)

(What Is A Social Construct, and Why Is Gender Socially Negotiated Instead of Biologically Inherent)

Trans-cript under the cut (haha, geddit, trans-cript? Because-- haha... nevermind.)

Wow, that's... a lot to process, and I don't have time to unpack all of that, but you did ask nicely, and I appreciate you doing that for the sake of your friend, at least.

It seems that you have good intentions, but the reality is...

Short of reading stuff others have already written on the internet for free, there's not much I can do to change your mind.

I'll link my own post down below here:

(My own personal explanation of non-binary identity, with a fun little Imagine This As A Metaphor in the middle)

There's no simple way to understand something as complex as another person's feelings - transgender people feel the way they do, and that's it.

I'm sure there are feelings that you, yourself, have but cannot put into words well.

However, as a start, I also recommend checking out my broader post about gender in general and how it's not just a thing that happens but is a product of human culture.

(My own personal explanation of non-binary identity, with a fun little Imagine This As A Metaphor in the middle)

That being said...

anon, if I can be frank, I think that there is a much larger core problem that is kicking around in this ask.

You said that in order to accept someone, you had to first understand them...

And I personally think that this kind of thinking is hugely contributing to your mental roadblock.

Look, I'm a first generation Russian immigrant that later immigrated to Japan to each English there.

Even if your situation is kinda similar to mine (which I doubt) there is no way you can fully "understand" me as a person.

But presumably you can still "accept" me as a human being deserving of respect!

I'm a hardcore atheist, for fuck's sake! If you asked me if I 'understood' people who worship and believe, I would have to say no, I absolutely do not!

But that doesn't stop me from having religious friends and thinking they have value and respecting their beliefs!

The world is full of about 7 billion people! Do you really think that you can understand each and every single one of their aspirations and identities?

The point is that you don't have to!

Acceptance shouldn't be about completely analyzing a person's motivations - especially if their motivation are simply 'this makes me feel good, and hurts no one'!

Transgender people don't want you to pretend you 'get' them! They want you to use their name and pronouns, and let them get on with their lives!

(Obligatory awkward pause)

Anon, I appreciate you trying to understand. But the truth is, you don't have to, to be a good friend.

You can just say "I don't fully get it, but I respect you as a person and call you whatever makes you feel comfortable!"

Trust me, that will be enough.

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 11: Favorite LGBTQIA Historical Figure! I have so many, I once attempted to write a queer history book. But this year let's talk about Salaì, the "Little Devil," Leonardo Da Vinci's model, student, and mischievous lover. Sure, we could talk about the infamous artist, himself, but I love history's muses. Look at that smile? Like there was ever any doubt.

[queercounselor]

Pride challenge day 10: LGBTQIA cliche you most identify with! I don’t know how cliche this is, but having to codeswitch and simplify my identity for people is probably it. My theory is that if its become a meme, its probably cliche by now.

Yours truly, a polyamorous, queer, trans-nonbinary genderfluid panromantic pansexual.