randomventblog4malik
randomventblog4malik
wahoo!!
12 posts
vent blog ☆ system account ☆ Malik: he/she/star/neos ☆ Blaze: he/xe/bun
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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Tw suicidal ideation I guess
It's not even that i want to die i just want to do one big thing so she fucking shuts up. I just want it to keep her quiet. Only reason I'm not fucking doing it is because it's never fucking worked and jts only made shit WORSE since she just gets 100× more insufferable and insensitive. "When you kill yourself we'll leave your body to rot in the trash because you don't deserve a burial" like this shit is insane to say to your child who just attempted and literally can't walk on their legs . Like what is wrong with you genuinely . I just want her to shut up forever
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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I am. So fucking tired . From the bottom of my heart I'm fucking tired
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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Lowkey having the worst time ever but fuck it we ball
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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Think i can make some room to hate my mother again
No longer have the capacity to hate my mother but by god does she test that every day
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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T.W: self harm, suicidal ideation
Everything's getting really bad again idk . What to do . I've been clean for a year and a half but Itss!!!! Been so hard. It feels like hurting myself is the only way I'll ever be able to function like other people but it just makes me get worse and worse and worse and further away from others. It's never enough to get me to calm down it never is and I don't want to go back to that again never again but it feels like the only way and I dont!!! Know what to fuckiny do Im so sick of this . I'm so sick of it !!!!! I'm so sick of feeling this way and crying and making myself look fucking stupid when she couldn't give less of a shit about any of it. Hurting myself gave me SOME semblance of control over my feelings and thoughts and now it's gone and I'm just a fucking mess all the time. I miss it so bad so so so bad it felt like warmth it felt like comfort. It was so warm. It felt so safe. I miss it!!! Im so sick of this!!!!!!
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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Tw: rape, sexual assault, predatory behaviour
Aouh . Feel like shit . Feel dirty and gross again . It's been so long I do Not like this . Worst part is we can't remember what happened and one of us does but they won't tell us and we can't even talk to them . I feel so gross and used up. Want to cry but I feel too gross to do that either . Aoshxhxbbb :[[[[[[[[
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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By talos this can't be happening
Entered one of my trade-mark "blackouts" where I genuinely forget that Im a living breathing person and think im a parasitic ghost inhabiting an organ . I have been registered missing in over 30 states
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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Entered one of my trade-mark "blackouts" where I genuinely forget that Im a living breathing person and think im a parasitic ghost inhabiting an organ . I have been registered missing in over 30 states
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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No longer have the capacity to hate my mother but by god does she test that every day
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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Vent about being a system
OUAGGHHh I've only started being open about being a system recently and I'm always afraid people think I'm stupid or insane and are just playing along for my sake and they don't actually believe me or think I'm childish and stupid . I feel ridiculous for talking about it or joking about it and even more ridiculous for talking about the bad sides of it . Aaoucchh!!!!!!!!!!!! Our ex wasn't very understanding of it even though she tried to be and . Idk I'm just !!! Scared and feel embarassed I think . :[ I'm sad
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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VENT BLOG !!
Everything will be under a read-more and tagged, but topics such as pedophilia, sexual assault and abuse will be discussed . Idk why anyone would follow this blog anyways but don't follow especially if you're sensitive to any of that !
Will sign off w names for each alter !
Asks regarding anything r open, just don't be a douche !
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randomventblog4malik · 2 years ago
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OUAAGJJHCHCJH
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