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Humble tone |

Indeed, i admit to everyone that since then, i sometimes have the urge to be boastful. I think it is within my blood--my father has it, and my mother has a personality who brags after proving her propositions and ideas. Well, i tried to control this when i reached college. However, i don't know how the teachers discovered my potentials. I promised to myself that i will just study hard and act neutral everytime. It did not work. I have always been a class leader and they pick me as representatives for different activities, and that even includes pageants! I don't know how to react to them but i just tried to sway into the waves. When i penetrated in the world of employment, things got bad for me. I cannot cope up with the pace. I cannot do the job assigned to me very well. One of my bosses even told me personally that they hired me because of my overwhelming intellect and conviction during interview, but they all have faded away. I was really astonished and disheartened at my first job. It is the commencement of my dreadness to bosses and to every work i will do. Having a job which you do not understand and cannot absorb by heart is way to difficult than school works. I am not career-ready. Even up to this moment, i see myself having less initiative than my co-workers of my age. I do not know if why can't i see the obvious signs that i am ought to do. I always ask my mother of this. She just replies that in due time, i will learn every piece of it and i must be patient in dealing with everyone everyday. I'm in my second year in my job and still, i am patiently waiting for that moment that i may bring out the best in me. Just like the old times. In my present job, i have this inkling that my boss dislike me for the reason that i can't comply with her standard of job accomplishments. However, she can't fire me. I'm lucky to have this position (i will not disclose this haha). Unlike in my first job, they seem to terrorize me a lot. Nagging me everyday like hell. You know guys, i have had enough and left the company of my own accord. They must have memorized how it's done. What made me write today actually was the students whom i gave an orientation today. They boiled up my patience meter and to my dismay, i pointed out those who were sleeping or using their phones. It seems they were not interested with me or what am i talking about. I feel useless and shameful at the same time. I made a vow to myself not to engage with those students anymore. They lack professionalism and respect to the speaker. They even stand every now and then, and there are no teachers around who would tell them what to do or what not. I feel so down today that during my bus ride, i thought of the purpose of each individuals--out of the blue. I think i'm going insane. With that, i am beggining my humble version again. Adios.

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Valentine's Survey

To those married, engaged or dating couples: Who's older?: Him. Same High school?: College. Lol How long been together?: 4 years More sensitive?: I am more sensitive. More spoiled?: idk. But he does spoil me by cooking my requested recipes. Who's the sweeter one? Him. Worst temper?: Him! Huhu. More social?: We're both sociable, but i believe he can mingle very well even to strangers or persons he doesn't like. More stubborn? He is stubborn! Haha. Wakes up first?: I usually wake up at dawn, then sleep again. He wakes up after that and cooks bfast. Happiness! Bigger family?: I think we have the same number of family members lol Eats the most?: Me! Whos liable to start the fight?: Him and me! Cries more?: I cry the most. Said I love you first?: i dont know. But i kissed him first! Haha More messy?: Me! Better singer?: I won in a singing contest. Better driver?: I drive with pride! Haha Better cook?: He cooks the best dishes! I'd rather spend my day with his home cooked meals and watch movie together than eat outside. Clothes And Shoe Hoarder?: no one. Who's more mature?: Both. Who is more clingy?: I cling to him whenever possible. I think he hates it. Haha Who is the more dramatic?: Drama queen on. Who is better at sports?: Him. I wanna watch him play. Who has the bigger pride?: Him! Haha Who says sorry first?: Me! Sad. Who's the jealous partner?: I'm the jealous type. Who's the boss? It should be me but it's him. Enjoy. <3

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A humiliating experience |

12 Nov 2016 You see, i have a great respect for Persons with Disability (PWD). I have attended a two-day seminar with them before and learned how they survive day by day. I even sang and danced with them during our social night. They are indeed bright and talented people. Yet, there are things that i noticed to some of them. (Clearly, it means not all) These few people take advantage of their disability. I mean, they use it to either let you feel incapacitated than they are or they make it as a reason not to do a task. (This is based on my experience, again, i want to emphasize that these are based on few people who i got to work with) This first one occured during our 2nd day of the training. I was tasked to do a recap of yesterday's lessons. And being the youngest in the group, I incorporated my idea of making a game so that everyone can actively participate and forget to snooze. When i was just starting to discuss the instructions, the emcee (who is a pwd himself), found his way to the microphone and interrupted me, "Ms. (My agency), i said recap." I ignored him, and continued with what i began. He then get pissed and with a louder voice he yelled the same exact words. I explained to him what i was doing, that this is a new trend for seminars, but he halted me by stressing more using his mic the words "recap". He even told everyone these words, "Miss, do you even know what recap means? It's RECAPITULATION. So go ahead and make your recap. I believe you had notes. So do your job, and recap." I was in astounded with him. I felt so ashamed at that moment. He can't even be grateful as i was the only representative coming from a national agency who stayed for their two-day seminar. Nervously, i went to my table and scoured my notes. I did jot down everything, that's the reason i had made questions for my supposedly recap that morning. I read everything that's written and explained as much i can. After which, he commented, "That's the recap i'm talking about. Thank you, Miss." Of course, everyone applauded me since they thought i'm not prepared. My seatmates were sorry for me and manifested that their boss is really that arrogant at times. I nod and acted like I was alright. It did not come to me before that someone from their group would embarrass me like that to a crowd. I just hope he changes that braggart attitude. Second experience i had was after that seminar. My seatmate texted me oftentimes, asking me how's life and when will we see each other again and other friendly stuff. A week had passed, she got the nerve to tell me what she really is up to. The fucking minutes! She asked if she could have the copy of my minutes as she needs to submit it to her boss (yes, the same person who yelled at me). I told her that i'm not finished with it yet, but it was a lie. I really don't want to give her a copy of that. Why? Because we chatted about this during the seminar. That we write everything so we may submit proper minutes on time. She even brags that she's like the most trusted person of her boss, and that she complies everything and writes on their newspapers and stuff. But every now and then, she texts me (and even calls me) requesting for minutes. She has several reasons, about her disability, her husband, her relatives, etc. I became fed up with her and just gave the minutes right away. I told her to revise that since it was just a draft, but bet your pants, she just removed my name and changed it to hers. What a shame! (Update: She did not texted me after i gave the minutes until now. It has been more than a year) Sometimes, when you get too nice to people, they reveal their own cruelty. I apologize if this hurted anyone but this is just based on my experience. I also do not take it generally, only these two people who humiliated me with their deeds. I have high respects for PWDs. And i will welcome them wholeheartedly if these two people would come and apologize for their act. (I know they already forgot it) Sigh.

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Diet |

02 Oct 2016

Hey! It’s my first article this month. :)

Everyday, i have been promising myself that i will start having a proper diet by lessening my intake of food and more of fluid the next day. Yes, i began eating oats every morning. But i usually have fast food for lunch, then i’ll have a really heavy dinner (my sister cooks so well and it seems like she puts me in a bait: cooking my favorite vegetables and of course, FRIED RICE! Who can’t resist that?) I feel sorry for the oats, my tastebuds now cannot stand eating it alone or even with a fruit. And from 55 kilos, i gained another 3 kilos. Sad truth.

When i was in college, i reached 48 kilos. My exercise being the 4 floors before we reach our lab and classroom. I also buy high-heeled shoes, which makes it more challenging. I rarely grab my breakfast. I take brunches just so i can be thrifty as well. Lol. Eating dinner is a choice. Haha. If my dorm mates ask me to go out, it’s a yes for me. During my third year, i started dining out with my boyfriend. He doesn’t want me skipping my breakfast and dinner so he would bring me food every morning, and treat me every night. So i increased in size as time goes by.

When i worked in Manila, i got skinny again. (Which i liked!) i haven’t checked my weight but everyone is telling me that i’m thinner. Work there is really stressful, so resigned. After which, i stayed at home for long and opted to find a work nearby.

I must say when you’re at home and when your mom is cooking for you, you just can’t ignore it. So i eat all day and all night. When my mom passed away, my boyfriend and i dated and ate way more than the usual. I also arrive with my sister cooking dinner; not wanting her to get disappointed, i dine with her as well.

Now, here’s a vow to myself: I need to regain my “just right” body so i may fit all my clothes and dresses stuck in my closet. It’s hard to see nice outfits but i can’t buy them because of my increasing size.

From now on:

1. I’ll drink lots of water.

2. Watch what i’m eating.

3. Have enough sleep.

4. Avoid stress.

5. Have a positive outlook.

Oh, snap! :)

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Fed up |

28 Sept 2016

It’s been so long since my last post. We had no internet connection for like 2-3 weeks so i never had the chance to visit my social media accounts, except when i am at office. But i tell you, i rarely glance at my phone for updates, i am way too busy than looking up for the latest trends and the pictures or statuses that everyone brags about. Lol.

I get fed up because i paid our internet bill just in time before it gets disconnected. I even called the customer service the night before. So after my field work that Friday afternoon, i went straight to a Pawnshop/padala center, where the agent says posts your payment real-time. And so that night, i called them again, the agent replied with a hint of wrath in his voice telling me that i must wait for another 2-3 hours before the posting of payment. (Like the agent last night stated a different story)

I called several times, and all they suggested was i must wait for another 24 hours and that they had already reported the issue on our connection. Until they resorted to fixing the issue by providing free techical assistance in our house. (We’re used to this, fret not) We were scheduled on the 16th, because of lots of reasons. So i penciled it in.

The 16th came, but there were no calls nor technicians that showed up. So with full of upset nerves in every part of my system, i picked my phone and dialed the customer service number for the nth time. They manifested that they had resheduled us on the 26th! I get really angry because of the inefficient staff and coordination the service has. I went to their store at SM. They didn’t even know how the issue went, since they all just rely to emails. I raised my voice a bit. I am really upset with their service.

Our internet came back to life on the 26th. However, many things occured before and after that with their different technicians as they contacted me every now and then. I hate it! Hope you haven’t experienced all these that happened to me.

Good night! :)

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Classmates |

04 Sept 2016 Today is a Sunday morning. And while I was browsing on Facebook, i was shocked with what I saw. My Highschool classmate (girl) named Clara, posted and said "Thank you <3" on the wall of my Elementary classmate, Mark. A small world, indeed. I bet there is something going on with both of them, that is evident with the hearts emoticon. (Yeah, gossip girl alert!) But what i cannot understand is how. Mark lives in my town, near the Poblacion area (town proper). He's got excellent grades in our days, no wonder he succeeded when he transferred to Spain with his Mom to study and now work. On the other hand, Clara, also lives in the same town as ours, but she moved to the nearby municipality after both pf her parents died. Anyway, she still studies in college which is located like 3-4 hours drive from her home. That is why i find it confusing on how they have been connected to each other. Anyway, upon thinking deeply into their situation. I realized that upon knowing Clara, you will tell her friendly aura. In school, she acts gullible, but is a wise girl inside. With that, she won the hearts of almost every boy in school--especially those that are older than us. Mind you, she just stayed in our school for two years. That's how attractive she was to the opposite sex. I personally don't see that charisma, but maybe because i'm a girl. I find her flirty with these men sometimes. For Mark, i cannot tell you exactly how was he because we were just too young that time and emotions are still kept since we all know it would just turn the class into a big laughter. But what i do remember about him is his passion in his skill. He did not graduated here as he flew abroad at a young age. Or did he just transferred school and met Clara? Haha that i don't know. Which brings me to reality that i have still have many chores to do so i need to stop bothering myself with their story. Lol PS Today's my our monthsary (my bf and i). I wish he comes over later :) xoxo

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Shopping |

Every woman always loves to stroll around a mall or a grocery store to shop and buy everything that is pleasing to her eyes. wee 👸🏻

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Europe, et. al |

27 Aug 2016

I was browsing the news feed at my Facebook when i saw a post which caught my interest. A 21 year old girl, who worked only for a year and resides in slums, but traveled to 15 countries in Europe. Like, shut up! I’m 23 this year, and so far, i have went from province to province in the Phils but not for the sceneries and all that–i went for family trips, the need to attend weddings, birthdays, fiestas, etc. It is fun, though. But letting you see the most beautiful spots in a place, makes my heart skip a beat. Really.

For this year:

The best so far was my travel in Palawan. It was short-lived but the experience was on point. Island hopping in El Nido the first day, hiking to Nagkalit-kalit falls then Nacpan beach the second day and we scoured the best places in Puerto Princesa on our last day. My company was my college buds.

My trip to Bacolod with my sister and cousins did fairly good. One of my cousins got married at a cafe in Murcia, Negros Occidental. They had a simple garden wedding. (Warning: long read)

As part of their promise to tour us around Bacolod, the brother of my cousin, (who is also busy at the same time) drove us to the places we want to visit. We stayed at Mambukal resort, where we tried the Ofuro bath (a Japanese bath where the water is basically coming from the core of the earth [LOL yeah], the spring of the mountain and you just need to dip for 10 minutes because the water is way too warm). We dined a boodle of seafoods at Palawud while watching a fire dance. Desserts came after at Calea, the ever-famous cakeshop in town. (I am never a fan of pastries nor cakes but i promise to take home a Calea cake the next time i travel to Bacolod. That’s how special their cakes are!)

My second time at Inasal Chicken House was great (perhaps my palate now changed a bit). I also enjoyed shopping at pasalubong centers: Bongbong and Merci. For history, we visited the Ruins, however, it was raining that time so we struggled our time to enjoy the place.

Lastly, my travel with my boyfriend, plus my second fam and my sister (again lol) at Cagayan de Oro. We actually went to Cebu first to attend my bf’s brother’s wedding (too much possession, sorry haha). After an exhausting plane travel, my bf had a great choice of having our dinner at Hukad. The roasted chicken with sweet vinegar, buttered clams, and soup satisfied our empty stomachs. Then t'was my first time to be in a big vessel (not that big, let’s say medium -sized. I had my first ride of Roro going to Calapan last year, but this was way better). First time to sleep in a ship, to watch and hear the big waves of the sea, stare at the city lights from afar, and feel the calm of the night. When we were in Bukidnon, this is not mainstream but i do enjoyed running errands for the newly wed, buying stuffs at Gaisano and in the wet market, trying the different foods in the area. Even so, i envy my sister for taking pictures at a church nearby. Lol

We attended a simple wedding too at The Gardens in Malaybalay. My favorite part was when we had the chance to spend a short time to Dahilayan Park. The place was so cool (i mean, literally as well). There were pine trees everywhere, friendly dogs, nice people, fun activities and the best of all, the majestic scenery. I’ve never been to Baguio but i bet they’re comparable with both having a distinct charm. Wished i could have all day to do that.

So that sums up the highlights of my travel experiences this year. I am really delighted whenever i get to tell these stories of mine. Hope you had a good read.

So save up, pack light and let’s go! :)

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Night changes |

Sometimes, girls don't want irrelevant arguments; we just like your attention, be kissed and cuddled. That's all. What is so wrong with that? : (

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Rewind |

22 Aug 2016 It's been awhile. During the previous weeks, i have attended trainings, conducted several orientation and workshops which kept me busy--leaving me so weary at night that i can't help but go to bed and close my eyes. The past week, i discovered my bf has another girl when he was far away from me (which he told me that he haven't seen there, they just exchanged emails and all that. I still do not believe him. But, when you love someone, you just have to accept his flaws and pretend it didn't happen. *Sobs while typing*) And so, i went straight to their house that dawn. At 4am, i straightened myself to talk to him. Composed my inner wrath. However, i cannot stop crying. Then we talked and eventually, he told me everything from his past. A brave and honest move. I loved that moment, but it also made my jaw drop. He asked me to accompany him to his work--i did. Yet i cannot talk that much or if not, i cry without any reason. I also stare blankly at space, thinking everything he said or just enjoying the blank slate of my mind wandering what's next for me. (Yeah i get so random now) That is just how i can describe myself that day. I went home early since i do not feel well, i haven't eaten at right time plus the red days yields to me feeling ill. I need to lie down and rest. The next day, i went alone at their church to say sorry for the bad things i told him that saturday. He forgave me and said sorry as well. (I love it everytime he says sorry) Last saturday, i took exam for promotion which i know isn't meant for me. Ate lomi and chami after! That capped off my night with a blast. I would like to try their sisig and chami! Ugh, one craving statisfied but another food to crave upon! Delicioso! Yesterday was my bf's birthday. I was so sad since i have no gift for him. My should-be surprise did not come to realization so it became a little failure. Plans were all changed, anyhow the day come out well. We all slept with happy faces. I am just hoping to give him the right gift tomorrow. Hopefully. More talk next time. Currently, my mood is "at the verge of closing my eyes to sleep". Ciao.

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Survey |

Saw this from my niece’s FB and i like to answer it. I love answering surveys and reveal some stuffs about me.

Full name: yet to be known Single or taken: Taken Height: 5 ft 3 in Fave color: Pink Married: not yet Want kids: definitely If so, how many: 4 or more Zodiac sign: Leo Last drank: water Goth, emo or both: read their meaning and i go for emo Glasses: i love stylish glasses Makeup or not: i like makeup but i just put a bit for a natural look Cat or dog: dog Evil or good: is this even a question? Good! Fave sport: swimming, chess Fave animal: my turtle pillow and penguins Apple or Samsung: i use apple now, but i want to upgrade my use of it and also i wanna try the new units of samsung Funny or nah: no woman wants a man without sense of humor Smart: My sim is smart, so am i. Kidding!

More surveys to come! :)

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Waiting |

My boyfriend still has not pleaded sorry. He has not texted that much: he just sent me 2 messages today. He even did not miss a call.

If i were in his situation i would have done the opposite. I have always called him around 10 or more times whenever he is not replying. I also text blast him whenever possible. But i decided to be done with me being that one today since i find myself stupid. All he told me was to stop and say bad things towards me. I can’t help but argue and cry every night. And now, i am totally fed up.

Yesterday, i saw one of his favorite chocolates in the grocery. I was to put one inside the basket, when my sister halted me. She told me to stop my ways of following his tail like a dumb ass. Just like what my senior colleague told my officemate: Find dignity in yourself. You are the woman, for heaven’s sake!

I am obviously sad at this moment. I am left alone in our house. During weekends we usually hangout but now, they’re all but gone. I don’t know what to do now. But i believe, this too shall pass.

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Transit |

24 July 2016

Wait. I’m a bit crying right now because i can’t find my drafts here. And i just wrote like 3-4 paragraphs already for this article. (Sobs) when life hits you hard, tumblr does, too. Huhu.

Anyway, i attended an event at Camp Crame last friday where there is a dress code–that is, Filipiniana. I had to rent one at the public market which costed me much. Well, that’s another part of the story. (I’ll post about it when i feel like doing it lol)

Going to the venue, i rode with my boss’s vehicle. They came late, as the driver arrived past 7 in the morning. Then, i think my boss is quite boiling in temper when we apparently got a wrong way. I saw the left lane already where we can make a u-turn, but the driver ignored it and just went straight ahead. So yeah, welcome to EDSA traffic! I just didn’t add to the wrath of my boss. Instead of agreeing with her, i took naps or stare at the window pretending not to hear anything. Occasionally, i smile so she wouldn’t be find me phlegmatic.

After the event, i told them that i will commute on my way home. Although she insists of going with her at UP where we should have fetched her daughter after swimming training, she permitted me to travel myself. I, for one, doesn’t like the atmosphere of being with her for hours without talking like we were mannequins who just happens to be breathing. So, i stated that i will use the MRT to get home faster. She claims that i should ride the bus, but knowing the traffic, i preferred the transit.

And voila! I was quite anxious that time because i haven’t experienced it for months. The last time i guess was when my mom was still alive. I bought a single trip card and tapped it on the machine. (Haha i don’t know what it’s called, sorry) I jumped in the female section. For those of you who still had not tried it, it will be unpleasant to your eyes as you will see everyone sweating all over (although there’s aircon). It’s because we were stucked so closely together like we were fishes inside the fisherman’s net. But i enjoyed the ride. I was just annoyed with one commuter who took the grip of my handle. I never let go of it in the first place, but she was just like “this is mine!” I want to stab her eyes but i resorted to just murmuring that there are lots of handles where she can take grip. I walked away and caught a pole instead.

After MRT, i have to ride the LRT going to bus station. What was cute is that, i attempted to use again the kiosk. There were long queues at the counters and there are like 1 or 2 persons at the kiosks so i’m filled with joy. With so much excitement, i forgot to count the coins i inserted. Gladly, it returned my 5 pesos.

It’s a fun ride. Everyone was pleasant at LRT, i don’t know why. They kept asking me to sit down. I refused, as my station is near. And when i approached the terminal, the bus is starting to leave! The bus was jampacked but they still allowed me to enter. However, i sat at the conductor’s chair. That was my first, and i enjoyed it so far. Although i envied those at my back who can watch the movie. The movie was new and everyone’s laughing hard. I was just delighted that i had already seen the movie so i just imagined the scenes. Great exercise for the mind, eh? Lol.

I ended up eating sweets and drinking frappe at Starbucks. I’m salivating for it since i’m quite depressed at the moment. Well, that's another story.

Cheers! :)

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Sometimes, you just can't fathom 🌊✌🏻

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Debtor |

14 July 2016

I have this college classmate/barkada who is usually texting me whenever he needs “urgent” assistance. He even tells me that it is badly needed, hence, i should reply ASAP.

In college, i have my stipend from school and everyday allowance from my parents which, when summed up, may be a little higher than those of my barkadas (except for my another friend who’s scholarship is same as mine). Therefore, i cannot tell them that i can’t lend them money since they knew where i’m spending because i am with them almost 24/7. In short, i give them what they ask without thinking whether they will repay me or not.

Actually, we had a time that we listed their debts on me but until now, some aren’t paid and some are just gone in the wind because they ignore it. Well, i personally let it go. I know aiming for them to pay those will just ruin our friendship. Some pay me thru treats when we go out to dine.

Going back, last night, this friend of mine, Ray, texted me that he needs money. When asked, he replied that he will use it on our trip to Palawan which is planned way too long (before i knew). I messaged Amy for help, but she was also texted by Ray earlier. We were both full of anger until we reached the peak of our temper when he texted both of us that he will not join us and will just pay for the tickets. It is like blaming us for he cannot come and that it is our obligation now to lend him money. My goodness, if we know that he spends his money with his family or into something good, perhaps, i will give him some without asking him to pay me back. But i know that he loves to buy lots of unnecessary stuff, has this bad habit (he smokes) and his whereabouts that is why i don’t believe him when he told me that he’ll pay me the first week of the next month. Sometimes you need to let them learn the lesson by themselves.

We are off to a vacation this weekend and i don’t know whether he’ll come or not. It is his loss, not ours. Saving money maybe tedious to do, but is very relevant nowadays. Being thrifty at times maybe a source of poking fun at you but at least you know where to spend your money best. It is not that you are such a wet blanket, but it is because you are preparing to a better future ahead of you.

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Rainy season |

07 July 2016

It’s raining cats and dogs. All i wanted was to eat and sleep. That is basically my routine during weekends. I don’t know but when it rains i am simply glad about it: hearing it on your roof, the splash of water in the streets and the cuddle weather. It is the time i truly miss the tight hugs and kisses of my boyfriend whenever we sleep together (like he definitely knows what my body is aching for).

When it rains, i crave for a hot bowl of soup or drinks. May it be lomi, champorado with dried fish, sopas, bread partnered with coffee, ramen, instant noodles, or anything to satisfy my mood. (If you do not know any of these, find them on the internet lol)

Moreover, i have the chance to wear my jacket! My most loved jacket is the pink one, which was given to me by my boyfriend. (And yeah, i do love pink). Most of my clothes reveal my chubby arms, therefore i prefer to wear them with blazers. Time to show off my fashionista side! (Just kidding!)

What i don’t like about it is that my clothes get soaked in the rain or in mud. Plus the flood and dirt getting over places. Further, the need to trim our garden plants consumes much of my time during weekends. (I need to complete my hours of sleep. Lol). Anyway, i’m seeing the positive vibe of it more than the negative ones.

Hot mug of chocolate, anyone? :)

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BUFFET fit for the Queen. 👠