reality-but-fantasy

[reality-but-fantasy]

The reality of mental illness is that you KNOW a lot of people are better off without you but they’ll never admit it…

[reality-but-fantasy]

It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.

[reality-but-fantasy]

big fan of platonic expressions of devotion actually. yeah we're best friends of course i'd find you and hang out with you in every universe.

[reality-but-fantasy]

This is the Opposite of Self Help: A Beginner’s Guide to Bleach-Drinking

[reality-but-fantasy]

[reality-but-fantasy]

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🖤🖤🖤

[reality-but-fantasy]

Oakland, California, 1956, Elliott Erwitt.

[reality-but-fantasy]

—Lilllium, from In Place Of The Mirror is a Portait of You

[reality-but-fantasy]

I want rough sex, not a rough life.

[reality-but-fantasy]

I feel like this is the only place I can say how I feel. No one knows me here and I like that. It does get lonely though I’ll admit. Not having a friend in real life that I can call and have come over. I didn’t think I’d make it to 16 let alone 20. But here I am, weeks away from 21. So I’m sorry that I don’t have a plan for my future when I thought I would end my life years ago. All I know is that I hate the way it’s going. I hate my job, I hate where I live, I hate being alone, and I hate myself... I hate myself so much. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about at least one thing I hate about myself. I was trying to get better, I really was. I went to my therapy’s, I took my pills, I ate food and drank water like I was supposed to. But after YEARS of doing everything right and still not getting better, I gave up. So now I don’t take my medication, I skip my therapy appointments and I have chips for breakfast, lunch, and dinner then make my way to the bathroom to puke it out. They kept saying it would get better over and over again but it didn’t. It’s been what 6? 7 years? And I can’t even tell anyone the truth. They’ll send me to a hospital that treats you like garbage. One that I can’t even afford. And for what? For nothing, because in the end, my life will still be the same, I’ll still be alone and I will still hate my life. The only difference will be the extra bill I’ll have to pay. God I’m in so much pain. So much emotional pain that it turns to physical. My head hurts, my chest hurts, my heart hurts. I have so much anger and sadness inside me that I feel like I will actually explode...

[reality-but-fantasy]

I’m not smart

I’m not pretty

I’m not skinny

I’m not worthy

[reality-but-fantasy]

Nikki Giovanni, from “Mirrors”

[Text ID: … but It Cannot Be A Mistake to have cared … It Cannot Be An Error to have tried … It Cannot Be Incorrect to have loved]

[reality-but-fantasy]

“Have you ever platonically fallen for someone? For the things they say and how they can always cheer you up, no matter the circumstances? For how you can count on them and the way they get so enthusiastic about the things they love? Have you ever watched someone without them noticing and just felt your heart burst of love for everything they do and everything they are, feeling incredibly proud to have them as a friend? Have you ever been in awe due to the feeling of being blessed by the sheer existence of another human being?”

— // friendship j.d.m.

[reality-but-fantasy]

[reality-but-fantasy]

if you see me crying in a corner with a bottle of vodka no you didn’t

[reality-but-fantasy]

When you've used masturbation as a coping method for so long that you genuinely don't know if you are doing it because you are horny or depressed