Text
January: Also not good.
#Spent most of the first week of the month laid out sick#which was exceptionally gross to deal with#And now I'm juggling emotions I shouldn't be feeding#Not exactly a great start to the year
0 notes
Text
I'm not liking December, either.
#Had one of those particularly heavy conversations today#In the moment I was alright#Shit definitely hurt but I was managing#After getting home things started proper hitting me#and I spent several hours have a trauma breakdown#So that was great#I did at least have someone helping me ride it out#even if it was long-distance#Between that and the first two days of the month both leaving me frustrated as hell#I'm not enjoying December this year#Definitely worse than most years
0 notes
Text
I don't like November this year.
#Been chewing on a lot of things the past few weeks#Combination of seasonal depression kicking in and things that have been going on recently#Definitely feeling the Trauma™️#Probably gonna wind up having to have some particularly heavy conversations in the near future#Shit's gonna suck to go through but it's better than keeping everything bottled up#We'll see how it goes if/when we get there
0 notes
Text
Welp.
#Turns out there's a wider age gap than I'd thought#so definitely only gonna be going in the friendship direction#There's a bit of disappointment if I'm being honest#but I can be happy with just being friends#We get along really well and had some great conversation tonight#We also both outright said we enjoy each other's company#and that we wanna hang out like this more#So overall it's a positive#Just maybe not the shape of positive I'd been hoping for
0 notes
Text
That Anxiety sure can Disorder.
#She said yes!#I'm making an effort to not get my hopes up about things#especially since she's outright said she's only looking for friendship right now#but this is still kinda huge for me#Gonna be going up to the event separately and meeting there#I am the Big Nervous#but there's also a lot of excitement tangled throughout it#I'm gonna be quietly happy stimming for a while before I start getting myself ready#We'll see how tonight goes
0 notes
Text
[internal screaming intensifies]
#So I may have asked her out#Just seeing if she'd want to go to an event I've been eyeing for a while that's coming up on Friday#She said she'd have to think about it#and part of me is fully expecting that to be a gentle 'no'#At the same time I'm trying to balance staying optimistic with not getting my hopes up too much#We'll see how this goes#Meanwhile I'm internally screaming and trying not to panic#I don't normally ask people out in general#That Anxiety sure can Disorder!
0 notes
Text
Yep. Still having thoughts.
#I keep getting waves of emotions about things#All positive at least#Just the fact that she offered to help me with make-up keeps hitting me#and it's so weird for me to feel so seen for who I am#rather than the appearance that I have to wear for the time being#It's definitely a very good kind of weird though#It's hard to not tear up about it#but I don't really have any kind of privacy at the moment#and I'm not willing to be that kind of vulnerable around these people#and I'm especially not interested in dealing with the kinds of questions that would come with all of that#I'm just like...#Is this what gender euphoria feels like?#Do I get to look forward to more of this?#I've been internally screaming (positive) since last night#It just feels so goddamn good to be seen like that#To be accepted as what I will one day be#instead of just being seen as what I am#Just... Goddamn. Goddamn.#Yeah this is... good.
0 notes
Text
.
#Saw her last night#Had a good talk about various things#Traded phone numbers and both admitted we're terrible at starting conversations#She's not interested in anything beyond friendship with anyone at the moment#which is something I can very much understand#I think I can be happy with just friendship though#We seem to get along well so far#and we can always see where things go in the long run#She's also now one of the small handful of people who know I'm trans#and she seems very supportive of it#which is honestly a bit of a new experience for me#There are people in my life who are definitely cool with the fact that I'm trans#But like...#She offered to help me with make-up without the slightest prompting#This whole thing is gonna take some getting used to#but it's progress in a very positive direction#I'm optimistic about things#maybe not in the direction I originally hoped for#but it's nice to feel good about at least one thing in the future#Just gotta see where life goes from here
0 notes
Text
aaaaaaaaa
#Still internally screaming over here#The soonest I'll see her is over the weekend#but I have no idea when over the weekend#or if I'll even see her this weekend or next weekend#(The place we cross paths isn't somewhere either of us have a set schedule but we both frequent it)#My mind keeps drifting back to things in the meantime#which is probably at least partially because of the anticipation and anxiety#I'm definitely overthinking things and I need to settle down#Just hard to stay centered when my brain keeps going into Fear Mode about rejection
0 notes
Text
In Full Swing: A comic about Spider-Gwen’s past inspired by Across the Spider Verse 🏳️⚧️ (⚠️Spoilers!⚠️)


35K notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#So I've got a new crush#Not 100% sure if any of our interactions were actually flirting#but I've been advised that I should just shoot my shot#Worst case scenario it doesn't go anywhere#Based on our interactions so far#I don't think it'll create problems to at least make an approach#and see how it winds up panning out#I'm just gonna be over here internally screaming for a while
0 notes
Text
Fuck.
#There's absolutely no reason I should be falling for them#But here the fuck I am#They know now#and they're open to exploring that road with me#but I'm no good at setting a pace in relationships#and I don't wanna push and make things awkward or uncomfortable#on top of other factors that complicate things#I'm choosing to make this dive#but that doesn't make it feel any less like madness#'And with each foot you fall the voice in your head starts to sound more and more like yours'#I'm trapped in that liminal space of not knowing what I should do and knowing what I want to do#But these things never get to be simple#All I can do is keep myself moving#Here's hoping
0 notes
Text
it’s never too late. for anything: to apologize, to chase a dream, to try again, to forgive, to pick up a hobby, to fall in love, to change. you can do it whenever you want
43K notes
·
View notes
Text
“If you find you are falling into madness -- dive.”
I don’t know if it’ll splash.
0 notes
Text
And she’s back in my head again. I’m running out of words for this.
0 notes
Text
She was out of my head for a solid six months, give or take, and now I can’t stop thinking about her all over again. I don’t like this.
0 notes