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So. What has been going on.

Went to Newcastle, the greatest decision. I worked, I played, I was happy (but sometimes sad, but that is okay). My brain when down down down and I ruined it and now it is broken and dusty and I’m trying to fix something that I don’t know will be fixable, either way it might not look the same as before, maybe better? maybe worse? maybe simply meh?

I am back in my home town, which does not feel like home. I have been trying to compartmentalise my thoughts and my relapse while I am here and trying hard to get to my goal: contentment, but I keep getting lost and contentment keeps running away from me.

Along with compartmentalising my brain I have been trying to compartmentalise my surroundings in this old new place, as, with my brain, it is full of stuff and bad air.

stuff stuff stuff

sort sort sort

crate crate crate

clean clean clean

repeat repeat repeat

stare stare stare

I have not made drawings in a long time, the 5th metatarsal on my right hand was cracked and I have found it challenging to draw, even the idea of drawing makes me sleepy and fills me with chest pain.

I went to a group last week of other humans who draw and paint and make and craft. Maybe finding solace in such a group will help? Maybe they can give me the boost to start chiselling away at this massive obstacle in the way of making and drawing? Or maybe it is gone and that skill has run away too.

A big assessment is next week, maybe I will find out what is wrong with me…and see if the answer will give me a guide to help me out.

I am lonely. I am homesick, even though it has been 18 moons. I miss my home.

Gale is still with me.

Stoick, Meadow, Poppy, Daisy and Snufkin have moved on, along with newcomers who didn’t get a peep on here, Mymble, Yuki and Kratos. I also had a fish called Hobgoblin. I miss them all so much.

Now I have a Too-Ticky and a Ninny I share my room with, along with Hemulen (Bristlenose Plecostomus), the Fillyjonks (ottocinclus), Thingumy (kuhli loach) and many many Magikarp (platys).

I would like to start talking on here again. I am not on socials. I want to keep hush hush.

I also helped and taught tea cup humans for a while. It was fun, but the big loud shouts scared me too much and gave me a fright. I’m still trying to learn how to control that.

I am very tired.

Hello

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Alan Turing

Pencil on Paper

2023

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Hello. It’s been a long time…

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Work in progress from @the_northumberland_hussar vintage carnival on Sunday. An unfortunate wash out but it was amazing to be doing what I do marginally better than other things. Thanks everyone who came and had a chat, and thanks Hussars for being awesome and letting me change shifts so I could have a table. #cervid #reddeer #deer #stag #anima #animals #draw #drawing #sketch #wip #commission #staedtler #rebekahirving #art #portrait #portraiture #animalportraiture

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I am in the @the_northumberland_hussar today til 6ish drawing and accepting commissions! Come by and say hi and have some awesome Sunday grub while you’re visiting...we have free sweets available to those who can find tickets! #rebekahirving #animal #animals #fayer #draw #drawing #wip #workinprogress #stag #reddeer #commission #northumberlandhussar #newcastle #heaton #pub (at The Northumberland Hussar)

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Collision #pigeon #bird #birds #rockdove #feralpigeon #dead #deadbird #window

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African Painted Dog Study #draw #drawing #sketch #sketching #sketchbook #sakurapens #pen #africanpainteddog #painteddog #africanwilddog #YWP #yorkshirewildlifepark #animal #animals #canid #wildlife #ridraw #rebekahirving #art #artist #study

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It was recently my birthday and this human made it the best ever. @charlton41 thank you so much for everything you do for us, words cannot describe how lucky I am to have you. #draw #drawing #sketch #sketching #sketchbook #peoplewatching #pen #sakurapen #observationaldrawing #portrait #people #travel #ridraw #rebekahirving #artist #art

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Ruby Portrait Commission, 2018 #dog #dogs #puppy #canine #canid #terrier #jackrussle #portrait #portraiture #commission #pencil #draw #drawing #sketch #sketching #animal #pet #petportrait #ruby #art #artist #rebekahirving #staedler #fabriano

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A post shared by Rebekah Irving (@rebekahirving)

Happy Halloween, it is nearly upon us. #gale #cat #cats #kitten #domesticcat #blackcat #smoketabby #glare #halloween2017 #ridraw #rebekahirving #halloweentinsel #tinsel

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Sam Pencil on Paper #animal #animals #dog #puppy #canid #pet #petportrait #animalportrait #portraiture #draw #drawing #sketch #sketching #commission #pencildrawing #sam #ridraw #rebekahirving

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Hendrix Pencil on Paper #animal #animals #dog #dogs #canid #animalportrait #petportrait #portraiture #hendrix #pet #draw #drawing #sketch #sketching #pencildrawing #ridraw #rebekahirving

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An update. So much has happened over the summer. My initial plan to go to Glasgow School of Art to complete a masters in Fine Art Practice had fallen through as I was unsuccessful in obtaining a scholarship, meaning I couldn’t afford to go even with the help from student finance. Since then I also got the news that I was discharged from a waiting list for psychotherapy, something of which has now been resolved and now in treatment attending weekly Interpersonal Psychotherapy Sessions. At the moment I am not feeling much progress, but these things take time. In the mean time I am saving to relocate to Newcastle to set up base and get back on track with a career. Cannot believe it is taking so long, but small steps. Gale, Stoick, Meadow, Snufkin, Poppy and Daisy are all doing well. Some portraits will be in progress shortly so follow for more. Thanks everyone and apologies for the silent mouseness. #ridraw #rebekahirving #update #gale #cat #blackcat #self

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Arrow pencil on paper I had a lot of fun doing this portrait as a wedding gift to my wonderful friends @daverobsonbeck and @v.robbeck of their dog arrow, whom I am plotting to steal because he is simply brilliant. I wish you all the happiness in the world, you are beautiful kindred spirits! Thank you @charlton41 too for suggesting it as a wedding gift idea. Thank you so much, I haven't enjoyed a drawing so much in a while. Looking forward to the next one lined up. #animalportrait #animal #dog #dogs #puppy #canid #animalcompanion #arrow #germanshepherd #mix #draw #drawing #sketch #sketching #portrait #portraiture #pencil #ridraw #rebekahirving #art #artist #commission #gift #wedding #photorealism

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This Friday! I have only hit £15 of my £200 target. to those who have donated so far thank you so so much it means the world! If you would like to find out more or donate yourself, as little or as much as you like please click the link below and share if you feel it would suit your blog

Love peace and dead thing grease

Hello everyone.It is that time again! Fundraising for a 3rd year running, I am really excited and a little ill prepared however all for good fun and a brilliant cause!If you would like to make a donation or even find out more about what this naked running in a wildlife park is all about, please click on the link above.every little bit counts, and again, thank you for your time and donation.love and light

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Belle #ridraw #rebekahirving #draw #drawing #sketch #sketching #portrait #animalportrait #petportrait #belle #cat #cats #feline #kitten #animal #animaldrawing #pencil #mechanicalpencil #art

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Hello everyone.It is that time again! Fundraising for a 3rd year running, I am really excited and a little ill prepared however all for good fun and a brilliant cause!If you would like to make a donation or even find out more about what this naked running in a wildlife park is all about, please click on the link above.every little bit counts, and again, thank you for your time and donation.love and light