ruejanerue

[ruejanerue]

I want to keep the connection. To still in your mind after all this time. But why did my hands shake when I try to open ur chat? Why did my hearts run away and making my breath hurts a lil bit more.

I'm afraid.

Afraid that you won't reply.

Afraid that you just ended our conversation.

Afraid that you've forgotten our chat.

Afraid that I already lost you...

[ruejanerue]

God grant my wishes. So I long to live in a countryside. Lots of land, some people, a small city, and beaches!

I applied for tenure position in one of the small city university. Got accepted. And it's a shock. I do want to try slow living style, as I grown up in a (medium ?) city. When I took my bachelor and master degree, I didn't choose the university in the capital. Dunno. Ur girl might be anxious living in a crowded place, but boy oh boy.. I was not prepare with how small this city I'm gonna live in.. forever (?)

But let's see how the universe run it course. It's been 2 days and am not bored yet.

[ruejanerue]

When it's night and I'm gonna hit the sack, I used to imagine the day for the person on the other side of the world who just wake up in the morning.

Talking bout time different is really cool. Like it's night in my area but you just start your day? Congratulations! I hope it won't be as bad as mine!

[ruejanerue]

I just finished watching a documentary about schizoprenia, and the probability that it is genetic. I'm scared. One of my cousin is having it, in a country where people don't believe in mental health care. When people turn to religious stuff to hide the depression they have. The government sucks, moreover if you have problem with mental illness. There isn't any mental healthcare available for the people. None. My country is really sucks. I know. But at least we are not under occupation. I still can have a job, eating good food, and enjoying the weather and nature once in a while. Now I'm rambling, back to the topic of mental illnes.

My other cousin is in the spectrum, the parents never really bring him to get an exact diagnostic so we don't know but he is the high functioning one. But I believe that he has asperger. My nephew from my cousin is authistic.

My big family has a mental illness problem, I know. I'm currently stable in my anxiety, but I already have a lists of things to talk about if (big and capital if) i do want to get married. That my big family has problem that could shape our lives, could happen to our kids. My anxiety could come and maybe it could get so much worse.

People say that if u want to get married, u must be finish with urself. I disagree with that statement. Bcz I feel like I would never. No. I'm always work in progress. How could I love someone if I'm still working to not hating on myself so much? How could I help my significant other when I still need someone to remind me that I'm worth and deserve it all?

I believe that u will never finish with mental illness. There's no finish line. No definite day when u wake up and be free of it. It's always loading. Work in progress. One day u feels like sunshine is brighter than most. Next, there will be storm and gloomy day. But that's okay. We just need to live one day at a time, don't we?

[ruejanerue]

Netflix nudged me to read a new series! Actually it's not new per se, but just caught my attention. As usual, I love clicking the upcoming and new things that will be on Netflix and put it on my list to watch, eventho most of it will fall back from the lists when I happen to get bored after the firsts or few episodes later on. There's this new live adaptation movie: Golden Kamuy. I haven't finished it yet, since I really want to know and intrigue by the story, so I switched to the manga. Finished it one week (reading in between my real life's job, it's a feat) and got totally hooked! I gotta get back to the movie. The live adaptation is soo goood for most of characters visually.

Tho it's a lil bit mis in some part but the plot stay with me, and now I'm feeling a lil lost. It's always happens when you finish reading good books. It feels like you just broken up and heart broken over someone. A little lost and empty. I need to find new books to read and immerse myself into it.

I'm gonna check out the solo leveling. People said its good. Let's pray it is enough to get my attention.

[ruejanerue]

I just discovered that live journal has got the world's most sexiest harry and ginny romance.

Here are the links to all those masterpieces:

1. fics by aj

2. fics by llp

3. Smutty claus

[ruejanerue]

Spilt Blood

Word count: 41K

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Regency AU, Aranged/Forced Marriage, spouse to lovers

Updates weekly!

Ginny was raised by her great-aunt Lady Muriel so she could marry well. Ginny always thought she would get a choice but she ended up standing across from a man she had never met. During their wedding night she discovers the whipping scars caused by his cruel family. They are determined to void the agreement he had with his family. There is the need for an heir, and Harry's reluctance to make one. Ginny navigates this new life as she gets to know her husband. Regency AU

Chapter 1: Blood won't tell

(full chapter on AO3)

“Is he ready?” Lady Muriel asked with a quivering voice.

“He will be,” Mrs Dursley replied vaguely. Her eyes slid back to Ginny. “She looks ready. Is five minutes enough?”

“We better get on with it,” Muriel said. “I have a dinner to attend.”

Ginny’s stomach churned. Muriel was ready to leave her, and would not even travel with her to her new home. Her items had likely already been packed up since they had left, and delivered to the house.

The Dursleys stepped out again and her great-aunt turned back to her.

“If I may give you one piece of advice,” she snipped. “Don’t make it too hard on yourself. Obey your husband, and perhaps you can make something of your life. Resisting him will only make it worse, and would reflect poorly on me.” Her red-rimmed eyes were threatening. “Prove I’ve taught you something.”

[ruejanerue]

Everyone is out here saying that suguru was the only character that saw gojo as human. You're wrong. I mean I get why people say that since stsg is basically the definitive ship for most people in the fandom.

But yuta and yuuji have never once seen gojo as anything but gojo. Yes they have consistently acknowledged his inhumane strength but to them gojo has always been just gojo-sensei to them, his strength as the strongest is an afterthought.

When yuta first returned, he vowed to kill kenjaku by himself to spare gojo the pain of having to kill suguru a second time because he knew how much it hurt him. In the recent leaks, yuta is also the ONLY person to speak on the dehumanization of gojo and how the burden placed on him is unfair.

When gojo died, the two characters with the most horror-filled expressions were yuta and yuji. Yuta specifically because he was aware he would have to take over Satoru's body which he really didn't wanna have to do.

Back to shibuya, when gojo was sealed. Kenjaku taunts yuuji with seal and yuji displays a visceral amount of rage and distraught.

Yes, suguru was the first to see gojo as a human but saying he's the only one is beyond wrong. Idk if people are only looking at things through a shipping lens or everyone is still upset about the leaks but cmon...

[ruejanerue]

So u know, ur girl teach some English in her small little village and the topic of cancel culture come. If we don't talk about Korean Entertainment when we touch this topic then I don't know where u get ur infos then.

One thing that I found is someone in twitter have an argument that Yoo Ah In must not be edited out from his project. Why? He's a talented actor (not denying it), and his lil crime is only become a victim of opioid epidemic. I need to double back on this statement he/she writes. A victim? Opioid epidemic? In South Korea?

Mind you, South Korea has the same regulations about drugs as my little country (cz we learn from u, America), so I for sure, know, it's not that easy to get drugs. That's why he went to his doctor, that mostly the main relatively safe way to get drugs for privilige people in SK.

We don't have Opioid Epidemic or down bad situations bcz of drugs that really make the people say: we need to start regulating this kinda drugs and maybe stop giving pain killers like candies.

So u can't really say that he is a victim. A victim means he stumbles upon the drugs and become addicted to it because of pain killers. It's not. He wants it. It's the same reasons like B.I wants to know thr feelings of taking drugs, bought it, but chicken out in the end. It got him canceled! Ofc it's gonna make people edited the fucking out of Yoo from their projects.

But then u say, what about GD? Did he took Marijuana? So the case is diff. GD got in the radar bcz his result when he came back from Japan is positive of drugs. One time. Only one time mind you and after that repercussions happens to him, he stay away clear from anything resembling taking a cig from stranger. I hope he stay far aways from stranger who likes to giving his things altogether.

In the case of Yoo, authority got the alert bcz he took treatments more than one. He got the taste and back to it again and again. He got addicted yes. But people around him maybe dont have knowledge it happens to him or just stand and look at him til its too late.

So, no. Ur oppa is not a victim of opioid epidemic. He choose freely to take the drugs. People got betrayed. Angry. Dont want the other to follows his step. Cancel him. Edited him from projects. Yes. That's what happens. Look for others talented Oppa, girlies. I do too.

[ruejanerue]

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[ruejanerue]

Babymonster looks promising at first, then come all the articles (rightly so) bout Batter Up not giving them what they deserve with those talents.

Come Sheehs. Let me tell you that Bada really pull it through with the choreos. It looks good, easy but difficult moves, and in tune with their core brand of group. This is the problem. YGE have their own core brand, they stuck with it, they rehearse it with better faces (some people said it, not me!), and they just didnt give a damn bout trend! Or at least hoping the core is still having a niche listener. But don't forget that Teddy have his own Girl Group team to debut to, so let's see how its gonna play in the future.

Bamon is totally a talented group in 5th gen for me. No questioning it, YG got the best people! At first I don't really like Sheesh, it's sounds old, too 2ne1, and bleh music videos. But that's also what I felt when I heard Whistle and as if it your last with BP. So I wait and wait for their real performance in Music show, then.. BaMon shows it! They prove that YG is still the best in giving Live Performance for me.

It makes me more excited of their songs in the future (while waiting for Teddy's new GG.) Hahahaha

[ruejanerue]

Just finished watching Dune: Part Two, and not gonna lie but I love how Dennis changes Chani narrative in this story.

As an avid book reader, I dive deep into the book before watching all the movies. One of the reason I dont really felt excited to hear Zendaya play Chani is how Frank Herbert makes her the devoted wifey/followers. Altho, that's the intended purpose bout Dune: anti-hero and white savior problem. But it makes me think: Great! Another damsel in distress kinda shit again with Zendaya. I want to see her in her warrior and combat attire. I want to see her wielding a knife and stab some harkonnens. Maybe have a fighting scene that looks like a dance.

I got it! Dennis makes it that Chani be our voice of reason, we see the way Paul change from being sincere to blood thirsty messiah. Tho Paul already warn her not to ask him to go south bcz.. well he will lose her. Girl, he give you fair warning!

Really can't wait how Dennis will make the next installments as their love story and relationship play a big role in Dune: Messiah's book, but the movie has pivoted, so we arrived in the no man land.

[ruejanerue]

Been bored bcz it feels like I've been exhausting all of my source of entertainment. Netflix? Hmm.. no new and exciting series for me right now (I love their release all the episode style so I've been waiting for Queen of tears to finish then binge watch it in later time). Disney and Marvel ? Meh. I lacked the enthusiasm after Loki season 2. My routine source of entertainment every week are only I Live Alone, Running Man, Amazing Saturday, and 2 Days and 1 Night (IYKYK). Added in every two weeks: Crime Scene season 4 is quite interesting.

Overall, I got back to fanfiction, mostly Harry/Ginny and found a gem of finished story that I 've been waiting for a looong time. I still haven't finish it, it was 30 more chapters and the story is really fascinating. I'm gonna dive deep to Hinny fanfiction for awhile maybe. Hehehe

[ruejanerue]

Reblog to remind me to read it asap!!

In Another Life - Chapter 1

Read on AO3

Summary:

Everything about Ginny Weasley's new home feels wrong. The street is too neat, the house is too quiet, and something that she can't quite put her finger on is missing. She should probably give the whole thing up as a bad idea; there's just the matter of the mysterious neighbour with the bright green eyes that she's utterly unable to walk away from and who seems intent on dragging her into a fantastical world that can't possibly be real.

Everything about Harry Potter's life is perfect. He's married to the love of his life, his and Hermione's werewolf reforms are finally gaining traction, and no self-proclaimed dark lords have tried to kill him in years. There would be nothing for him to complain about, if not for the small matter of the nightmares coming to life, bleeding into reality with deadly consequences not just for him, but for the Wizarding World as a whole.

Sequel to Someone Else's Life.

DISCLAIMER: I'm posting once per week this time (...or maybe twice per week).

[ruejanerue]

In lieu of Genocide that happens in Palestine, I fully support the BDS (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanction) movement. I just realized how interconnected our system of economy to a bomb being dropped to kill children.

Been over 3 months not relying on international brand of products for my daily use like soap, detergent, toothbrush, body lotion, make up, and food retails.

This is also a teaching moment to me to support locally made products. Bcz when I think about it, I can live my life perfectly well without those brands. I can help my local people instead of just a few ceo got their salary while worker keep losing their soul in the factories.

I truly hope this makes a difference even a small one. So when my children ask me bout Genocide in Palestine and my contribution to end it, I can answer it without shame.

[ruejanerue]

Chapter three is out, I have suffered a great deal with this one.

[ruejanerue]

i miss him ♡