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here’s a funnybunny edit i did a few days ago

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everything about jax makes so much more sense when you realize he’s only 22 and has probably been stuck in the circus since he was around 18-19

(this is by no means me trying to justify his bad actions)

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AHHHH DRUM SHOW IS SUCH A BANGER

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here’s another edit i made because apparently that’s something i do now

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i decided to edit jax to semi-automatic over on my tiktok: salemssillystuff

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i think episode 7 of tadc should be like a gacha life singing battle and at the end jax sings an angsty song and then they comfort him and everything is fine

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new conan gray album, new tadc episode, and a new tøp single all in the span of like four days!! im freaking out!!!!!!!

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ashsldjdhehee jax is so semi-automatic by twenty one pilots coded

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why i think no one is going to actually abstract

disclaimer: i could be completely wrong on all of this it’s just my personal theories and analysis of the series. you’re totally allowed to disagree with me but please do so kindly.

what we know so far

we know that the series is working up to something big (duh)

a lot of people think that it’s going to be someone abstracting which will then cause some kind of fall out that will need to be handled to wrap up the series (which isn’t impossible but i find unlikely)

we also know that so far everyone in our cast of wacky characters (except for kinger kind of?) has a high potential to abstract

goose has explicitly stated that the show is inspired by i have no mouth and i must scream and while we don’t know to what extent that is we can use it for some theories

caine seems to be kind of losing it

everyone has the potential to abstract

we’ll start with kinger who despite being the crazy one is the least likely to abstract

then in no particular order

we have pomni who has quite openly had trouble with adjusting to the circus and the implications of their lives there

ragatha who doesn’t like herself and has a desire to be liked by everyone (yes her conversation with kinger helped but it will be interesting to see to what extent)

zooble who clearly has body dysmorphia/gender dysphoria and has a hard time with the whole feeling trapped aspect of the circus

gangle who struggles to feel happy and know who she really is

and jax who is hiding behind a front and pushing everyone as far away as possible while having panic attacks in the bathroom

they have all experienced their fair share of problems on this show and all of their issues would be enough to make them lose their sanity

but i think that’s the point

to show just how hard it is to live in this digital prison

they’re all struggling because their lives are miserable

they all seem like they could be the one to abstract because every single one of them is at any time close to abstracting

while this doesn’t mean that the goal of showing their problems wasn’t to set up for someone abstracting i just think it was more likely trying to show just how miserable being in the circus is

the inspiration

for those of you who don’t know i have no mouth and i must scream is a short story about an ai becoming all powerful and using its power to torture a group of humans for all eternity

while tadc is obviously not going to do the exact same thing as ihnmaims it is likely that they follow the same general concept

that being a group of humans against a powerful ai

this is even more likely since as the series progresses we’ve been seeing more and more of caine kind of losing it

which could be setting up for the humans in the circus having to band together to go up against him

the overall narrative

first things first i think that atp it would make almost no sense for anyone to abstract narrative wise

if they did it would feel more like cheap shock content

most of the characters are developed enough to be impactful if they were to abstract but not developed enough for it to not feel half assed

there is so much more depth to be explored with these characters that kind of can’t be explored once they become glitchy monster things

aside from not fitting in with the overall character arcs i feel like having a character abstract at this point wouldn’t really fit with the narrative arc either

if we’re to believe that there is any merit to whatever is going on with caine then we know that that is what we’re working up to

there is only three episodes left in the series

having a character abstract would take up a huge chunk of that time since it would have a huge impact on the characters and plot

since we know that there’s a good chance that the big conflict of the series will be caine going insane

i think it is far more likely that the focus will be on that and not on a character abstracting

but why even have abstraction as a concept in the first place if it’s not gonna happen

to introduce just how hellish their situation is

to cause interpersonal troubles between the characters

to create something for them to be generally afraid of

to up the stakes

there’s lots of reasons a concept like abstraction would have been brought up without ever actually happening to someone in the main cast

cause let me also remind you that we did see someone abstract and we’ve heard about it multiple times as memories

i think that it just as easily could be a world building tool as it could be an actual plot point

conclusion

while i’m not going to 100% say that a character isn’t going to abstract, i will say i think it’s unlikely. i think with the overall narrative direction and what we’ve seen of the characters so far, it is pretty unlikely for one of them to abstract. if there is going to be any abstraction/death i think it will be like in ihnmaims where all of the characters die (except for ted who got turned into a creature).

do i think anyone will come very close to abstraction? that’s a very different question, and the answer is yes.

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new jax lore! i sure do hope people don’t use it to keep fundamentally misunderstanding his character!

(disclaimer: this is not my saying you have to like him as a character)

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tadc episode 6 spoilers!!!!!!!!!!

i’m not trying to say jax isn’t going to abstract because with this show i honestly don’t know. however i also think that was one of the most realistic depictions of a panic attack i’ve ever seen in media and to me the scene came across as him panicking after almost getting close to someone and not being on the verge or abstraction.

could just be me tho

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⋆˚࿔ random pomni headcanons

i love this silly little jester.

laser tag/paintball champion

definitely an overachiever when it came to stuff like school but struggled with self confidence so she missed out on a lot of big opportunities

probably got treated like a kid a lot in the real world too. whenever anyone in the circus does it she seems used to it but still very annoyed.

definitely only child vibes

her parents were workaholics and didn’t really pay a lot of attention to her

like she wasn’t neglected but they were kind of emotionally absent with high standards

definitely struggled with anxiety and being in the circus has only made it worse

whenever she develops a crush she tries to get close with the person but ultimately never does anything about it

liked playing video games (just none that were too scary)

cut her own bangs once to feel alive and they looked so terrible she just gave up on having bangs in general

doesn’t like being scared but likes a good adrenaline rush

like rollercoasters and stuff

struggles with insomnia

like really really bad. she had to take meds for it

when the meds didn’t work she’d go out and explore abandoned buildings

had to get her appendix taken out in middle school

when she came off the anesthesia she acted super surprised that her parents were both there for her

they made an effort to spend more time with her for a while but eventually went back to their old ways

video game enjoyer but can’t do scary ones

talks about video game preferences with jax

enjoys a good dark comedy

like heathers or better off dead

fills everyone in on what was happening out in the real world

at least what she can remember

swaps stories with zooble about their urbexing experiences (need more canon interactions with these two)

filled jax in on the ending of some show they both liked and he was so upset he didn’t talk to anyone for a whole day

she was worried he was upset at her

really wanted to keep house plants but was so terrible at it

they like all died

explores the circus at night when she can’t sleep

it scratches the same itch as exploring abandoned buildings

her youtube channel blew up after she went into the circus

there’s a bunch of conspiracy theories about her going missing and stuff

tries to spend time with kinger in his fort cause then they can have actual conversations

views kinger as a father figure

especially since she didn’t have a particularly close relationship with her real dad

joins in on some of jax’s pranks but never the really mean ones

one time she did help him put centipedes in ragatha’s room but she felt horrible when she heard how upset she was

forced jax to bake an apology cake with her

well she baked the cake and he stood there and complained

had a fear of clowns in the real world so her new form took some getting used to

that’s all folks! well for now… i have many more headcanons about pomni and the others but i didn’t want this post to be a million years long! thanks for reading!! ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

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⊹ ࣪ ˖ i’m never what i like ⊹ ࣪ ˖

summary: when pomni can’t sleep she likes to go explore the circus. while out she finds jax, who seems to be having a hard time after what ragatha said. pomni discovers that there’s more to jax than meets the eye and that maybe what he needs is for someone to be there for him.

author note: this one is lowkey super long. warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, jax being jax, bunny boy hates himself and takes it out on those around him.

“Do you have any actual friends?” Pomni asked, looking at the purple rabbit a few feet away.

“Not anymore.” Ragatha answered for him.

Pomni watch as he turned to look at them with wide eyes. She didn’t miss the way he gripped the grass under his hand.

Apologies began to tumble out of Ragathas mouth before she quickly walked away to talk to Kinger.

“What was that about?” Pomni questioned, it seemed like whatever Ragatha had unintentionally brought up had really bothered Jax.

He dismissed her as he flopped onto his back, changing the conversation to be about Ragatha instead. Pomni didn’t miss the evasion. Whatever it was he really didn’t want to talk about it. Did he ever talk about anything with anyone? Did he have anyone there to talk to? Pomni thought about it for a moment before realizing he probably didn’t. In her little time at the circus she’d noticed that everyone sort of steered clear of Jax when they weren’t on adventures. That must be lonely. She couldn’t imagine having to go through all of this alone.

“If you tell someone they’re loved and appreciated everyday it just kinda loses all meaning.” He sighed, “It feels like she’s trying to take advantage of you, you know? I don’t know.”

That was the part of Jax’s rant that stuck out to her the most. She’d never dream of thinking of Ragatha that way. Despite her flaws Ragatha was a genuinely nice person who cared about everyone in the circus. Pomni had never once felt like Ragatha was trying to take advantage of her. What had happened to Jax that made him view kindness that way?

“Also she’s dumb and she looks weird.” Jax smiled as he sat up.

The mask was back on, Pomni thought, but just for a second she had seen what was behind it. She wasn’t quite sure why, but she wanted to see more. Was it genuine concern for Jax? Or a selfish curiosity about what was going on in his head? She hoped it was the former.

She laughed as Jax spun around in a circle looking for his tail before Caine sent them to an intermission.

Well it was nice while it lasted, both the stargazing and seeing a bit of what was behind Jax’s careless facade.

—

Pomni was bored. The downside of not technically needing to sleep was that you didn’t technically get tired. She’d already struggled with insomnia back home, but it was so much worse here. Turns out that taking away the physical need for sleep meant her overactive brain never had to shut off. At first she’d searched everywhere for melatonin, but after finding that there was none she resorted to her other method of coping with her sleep troubles: exploring. In the real world whenever her melatonin and plethora of other sleeping pills didn’t work, she’d go out and find some abandoned building to explore until she either got tired or the sun came up. Now that she was in the circus there weren’t really any abandoned buildings to explore but there was plenty of other stuff to check out, and she found it still scratched that itch.

She slipped off the bed, knowing that she most likely wouldn’t sleep tonight so she might as well go see what she could find around the circus. Maybe she’d see something to show Jax in return for showing her that thing in the hallway.

The circus was empty. Everyone tended to stay in their rooms at night. Most likely needing time to decompress from the adventures. Pomni respected that so she never asked anyone if they wanted to join her on her nighttime explorations. Besides she was used to going alone. She didn’t have anyone to go along with her in the real world. In fact she didn’t really have any friends in the real world. That was the one nice thing about getting stuck in this place, at least she had friends now. Ragatha, Kinger, Gangle, and Zooble were all great, even Jax was starting to grow on her. It seemed like he was beginning to warm up to her as well.

Pomni hoped Jax was doing okay. He had seemed so upset when Ragatha had said he didn’t have friends anymore. Then there had been the whole maid dress incident. Today had been pretty hard on him. Pomni hoped he wasn’t too messed up over it. He probably wasn’t. It was Jax for gods sake. It didn’t seem like he cared about anything. Although she was starting to think that his nonchalant attitude was probably an act.

She found herself at the main exit of the Tent. Pomni realized she’d never really explored the grounds. The sky outside looked clear. She wondered if it ever rained here. It probably didn’t. Either way it seemed like a good night to go out and look around.

Pomni stepped out of the circus tent. It was chilly out. By no means cold or uncomfortable, just a bit cooler than usual. It reminded her of early autumn back in the real world. She’d always loved fall. She wondered if there were seasons here. She hadn’t been around long enough to know.

She looked around. It was actually sort of pretty outside, not bright and overstimulating like the inside of the Tent. It was also a little intimidating. There was so much to explore and she had no idea where to start. Then she saw it. A figure down by the carnival. She couldn’t quite make out its features but it was tall, which narrowed it down to either Jax or a rogue NPC. She decided to go check on whoever it was. That way she didn’t have to decide for herself where she wanted to go.

Down at the carnival Jax used one of the many keys he’d found to open the padlock keeping the gate closed. Caine didn’t really like them going to the carnival when he wasn’t around so he tried to keep it locked. That wasn’t really a problem for Jax though. Jax found keys to all kinds of things. Including the one to get into the carnival. He dropped the lock to the ground and opened the gate, deciding to leave it open to save himself work later.

Jax liked to go to the carnival at night. It was always empty. He could be alone with his thoughts. He could break down and not have to worry about anyone coming to find him. It was perfect. There was also the added bonus of climbing the ferris wheel and getting a perfect view of the night sky. It was the kind of thing his sister would have called “aesthetic” and then taken a picture for her instagram. He’d always found her obsession with social media kind of annoying but now he missed it. There were a lot of things he missed now that he had hated back then. There were also a lot of things he didn’t miss.

He walked towards the ferris wheel, figuring that if he was going to be sad he might as well have something nice to look at while he did so. Sometimes it even helped distract him from everything going on in his mind. Sometimes. He reached out to grab the rail so he could start his climb.

Behind him someone spoke, “Uh, you’re not going to climb that are you?”

Pomni? What was she doing here?

“No I’m gonna give it a hug.” He replied, turning to her with his usual grin.

“Is that safe?” She asked.

“Hugging the ferris wheel?” Jax raised an eyebrow.

“You know what I meant.” Pomni frowned.

“Do I?”

“Jax.”

“Of course it’s safe. We can’t die here, remember?” Jax answered.

“Oh, right.” Pomni always seemed to forget that little fact.

“So sweet of you to worry about lil old me, Poms.” He teased, “You must really care about me.”

“I don't want anyone to get hurt.” She replied.

“Didn’t deny it.” He retorted, turning back to the ferris wheel.

Pomni said nothing. It was always a losing battle with him.

Jax started to climb. He was about halfway up when he turned to look down at her.

“Are you coming up?” He asked.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” Pomni answered.

“Is miss explores abandoned buildings scared?” Jax smiled.

“No I’ve just never climbed a ferris wheel before.”

“Trust me Poms, it’s easy. Plus the view up here is perfect.” Jax assured her.

“Alright.” Pomni walked over to the base of the structure. It couldn’t be that hard right? Jax said it wasn’t.

Jax was a liar. By the time Pomni finally got into the cart her arms felt like noodles. Jax had to pull her over the side because she wasn’t strong enough to lift herself in and she’d fallen rather unceremoniously onto the floor. She climbed up onto one of the seats and adjusted herself to be more comfortable. Then she took a look around. Jax was right about one thing. It was beautiful. By far the prettiest thing she’d seen during her whole time at the circus.

“Told you so.” Jax smirked beside her.

Sometimes she hated just how smug he could be.

“It really is pretty.” She admitted. “I can almost convince myself it’s real.”

Jax didn’t say anything to that. She saw the look on his face out of the corner of her eye, though. He probably didn’t enjoy the reminder of their situation.

The pair sat in silence for a while.

Jax didn’t know why he invited Pomni to come up with him. She definitely would have just left if he hadn’t. Then he could have been alone like he wanted to. Clearly something in him didn’t want to be alone. He’d reached out to Pomni several times today. He didn’t know why. He didn’t need or want friends. He couldn’t have friends. Not after last time. Part of him said it wasn’t too late to make her go away. The other part begged him not to.

Pomni tried to subtly look at Jax. He had an unreadable expression on his face and she couldn’t remember a time where he’d ever been this quiet. Was he upset about something?

“Hey are you okay?” She asked finally.

Jax jumped a little before regaining his composure.

“Of course I am. This place doesn’t bother me like it bothers you guys.” He smiled.

Pomni frowned. She couldn’t help but feel like that was a direct attack at her. It was no secret that she had a hard time adjusting to her new reality. It was also an obvious lie. Just today Jax had been upset over several things directly related to their situation. She didn’t feel like arguing though.

Instead she said, “Oh, okay.”

Jax threw an arm around her, “How about you, Pom Pom? Are you doing okay? How are you adjusting to life in an eternal digital prison?”

She turned to look at him, “I didn’t think you really cared about that kind of stuff?”

He pulled his arm away, “You’re right I don’t.”

Pomni looked away. She didn’t know why she’d followed him up here. Was she hoping to have some kind of genuine conversation with him? Was it that curiosity from earlier about what was going on inside his head? Why had she assumed she’d get anywhere with that? She told herself it was just the temptation of a nice view.

Jax stared at the ground far below him and then back out towards the sky. Anywhere but at Pomni. Is that really what she thought of him? That he didn’t care at all? Wasn’t that what he wanted? For everyone to think that he didn’t care about them. He’d seemed to be pretty successful at convincing everyone of that. Well almost everyone. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t seem to convince himself that he didn’t care. The truth was he did care. He cared about all of them. Even Gangle. He couldn’t let them know that though. Caring meant vulnerability, and vulnerability meant weakness. Weakness was something Jax couldn’t afford. Especially not here.

He really should try and get Pomni to go away, he thought. He didn’t want her thinking they were getting too close or anything. He didn’t need friends. Having a friend meant letting his guard down. Letting his guard down meant eventually getting hurt. Friends meant getting hurt. He didn’t want to get hurt again. He needed to get rid of Pomni. He was better off alone.

He wouldn’t be a good friend for her anyway. Everyone knew he was no good. Why did she seem to want to be around him so bad? All he’d do was cause problems for her. All he ever did was cause problems. He ruined everything he got involved with.

“Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?” Ribbit had screamed at him.

“No, why would I?” He smiled, but he couldn’t ignore how tight his chest felt.

Ribbit looked defeated, “I don’t even know why I try with you. Everyone always tried to warn me about you, but I didn’t listen.”

“Sounds like a you problem.” Jax cut him off.

Ribbit ignored him, “I thought we were similar. I thought we liked the same things. But I was wrong. We couldn’t be more different.”

“Care to enlighten me?” Jax raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You think you’re the only thing in this whole world that matters. You don’t care about how anything you do affects other people. You think that this is just your world and we’re all living in it.” Ribbit fumed.

“I don’t see what the problem with that is?” Jax replied, doing anything to maintain his nonchalant demeanor.

“You wanna know what the problem is?” Ribbit demanded.

He didn’t wait for Jax to respond.

“The problem is that you suck. You’re the most miserable person I know and in a way I can’t blame you because if I was so obsessed with someone as awful as you I’d be miserable too.” He ranted.

Jax felt like he’d been punched but still he didn’t let his smile drop.

“Your mom was right. You are a complete waste of space. No wonder she couldn’t stand you.” Ribbit stated.

Jax’s face finally fell at that. Something inside him broke. He didn’t even notice how’s Ribbits face changed. How he immediately regretted what he said.

“Jax, I didn’t mean-“

“You’re right.” He said, “I don’t care about anyone. I definitely don’t care about you, and you wanna know a secret, I never have. You could abstract tomorrow and I wouldn’t give a $*%#. You don’t matter to me, you never have and you never will.”

With that Jax turned to go back to his room. He didn’t look back. Now he wished he had. Maybe then he would have seen a warning of what was to come, but he hadn’t. It was all in the past now. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that he never felt like that again.

“Jax, you’re crying.” Pomni said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

“No, I’m not.” He replied, but when he touched his hands to his face they came away wet.

Pomni didn’t argue. She just looked at him with concern.

“It’s just something this silly cartoon body does.” He assured, but he couldn’t hide the break in his voice.

“Jax it’s okay to cry.” Pomni said.

“I’m not crying though.” He stated. Trying to make it a fact.

“Okay.” That was all she said.

And that was what finally broke him. After years of being in the circus. After years of hiding his pain. After never showing an ounce of vulnerability in front of anyone for almost all of his life. That was what made him fall apart in front of someone.

His body began to shake with sobs. Tears poured down his face and he couldn’t stop the pained gasps for air. He was horribly aware of just how pitiful he looked. He was blubbering like a baby in front of Pomni of all people. The one person in ages that he thought would be even mildly worth it to risk a friendship with. That possibility was definitely gone now. He needed to make her go away. If he could get her to leave now he could salvage some dignity.

“Can’t you just leave me alone Pomni?” He hissed between sobs, “Don’t you have anything better to do than force your presence on other people?”

Pomni knew he was lying. It wasn’t just because of how pitiful he sounded when he said it, but also because she was familiar with Jax’s tricks. He’d say anything to push people away.

“You don’t mean that.” She replied.

He knew that. He didn’t want her to leave. In fact he wanted her to stay, but she couldn’t know that.

“Y-yes I do.” He winced at how pathetic he sounded.

“No you don’t.” She stated simply. Like it was a sure fact, like the sky being blue or two plus two equaling four.

He couldn’t say anything. He tried, but all that came out were more sobs. Why had she come here? Why had she come here and ruined what he had going? Why had she ripped him open and laid him bare without even trying? Why did he not hate her for it?

He froze as he felt a hand on his back, but despite his instincts he didn’t pull away. The hand started rubbing up and down, and then in gentle circles. It felt nice. Actually, it felt more than nice. It felt great. When was the last time someone had touched him like that? He couldn’t remember. Definitely not in the circus. Definitely not his mom either. Maybe it was his sister one of those times he’d gotten sick as a kid. He wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter. What did matter was that he couldn’t seem to pull himself away. He knew he shouldn’t be letting Pomni touch him, but he just couldn’t make her stop.

“I can stop if you want me to.” Pomni said, as if she’d somehow read his mind.

The thing was he didn’t really want her to stop, it felt too good, but he couldn’t admit that.

“Jax,” She stopped rubbing his back, “please answer. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

He couldn’t talk, but he could move his head so he shook it slowly.

“You want me to keep going?”

He nooded.

She started rubbing his back again. He kept crying. They stayed like that for a while.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Pomni finally asked.

Jax had stopped sobbing as hard but some stray tears were still falling.

“Not really.” He answered quietly.

“Alright.” Pomni said.

They went back to sitting in silence, save for his occasional sniffles.

“One time I watched this really sad movie. It was about these kids and I guess they were in love or something, but one of them ended up dying. I cried so hard I threw up.” Pomni rambled.

She didn’t know why she told him that story. Maybe to help him feel less embarrassed for crying. She figured it kind of worked since he let out a little laugh.

“That’s stupid.” He chuckled.

“Yeah I guess it kinda was but sometimes it’s okay to cry over stupid things.” She quickly added, “Not saying that you were crying over something stupid.”

Jax felt something squeeze in his chest and a flush spread in his cheeks. Why did she have to be so awkward, and why did he have to find it so cute?

He turned to look at her finally, “Why did you stay Pomni?”

She shrugged, “I guess I care about you.”

“Why?” He asked.

“Why not?” She returned.

“Because I’m horrible. I’m mean to everyone. I’m always causing problems. I don’t think about anyone but myself. I kind of suck if you haven’t noticed.” He ranted.

“I don’t think you suck. Yeah all that other stuff isn’t great but you don’t have to be that way. I think there’s something good under all of it.” She replied.

The way she said it was so soft, so kind, it made his chest ache.

“But I do have to be that way. There’s nothing good about me. No matter how hard I try I can’t be nice. Every time I open my mouth something horrible comes out of it. I like making people upset, it makes me feel better about myself. I can’t be Ragatha. I can’t even be Zooble. I’m stuck being me. I try and try to be someone better but I can’t. I know I’m horrible. I know that no one likes me. I don’t even like myself.” He rambled.

Pomni was shocked. She knew Jax had some problems, but she didn’t think hating himself was one of them.

“You’re not always mean.” She said, “You showed me that thing in the hallway and you seemed genuinely concerned about whether or not Gangle could be happy.”

Jax grunted.

“I don’t think you have to be that way. I just don’t think you know how to be any different. But you can learn.” Pomni tried to reassure him.

“You don’t get it, Pomni. I’ve tried so many times and I just can’t.” Jax argued, “There’s something defective about me. There always has been. My mom could see it. The kids at school could see it. Everyone here but you can see it.”

“Did your mom tell you she thought you were defective?” Pomni asked.

He looked away, “Kinda. I guess.”

“Jax that’s not normal.” She reached out to grab his hand.

He froze. He didn’t like the look on her face. Why did she seem so upset? Why did she seem so concerned?

“She was right.” He shrugged.

“She’s not.” Pomni stated, “But even if she was, she never should have said that to you.”

“Does it even matter?” Jax looked away.

“Yes, it does.” Pomni insisted, “It’s a parent’s job to love and support their kids not tear them down.”

“Well, it’s in the past and it’s not like I’ll ever see her again.” He replied.

Pomni decided to let the mom thing go. Clearly he didn’t want to talk about it. However, she did make a mental note to try and find out more about the situation at a later time.

She looked up at the stars. It must be really late now. They’d probably been sitting up here for almost two hours.

“Do you really think I can be better?” Jax asked after awhile.

Pomni turned to him with a smile, “Yeah, I do.”

“Thanks, Pomni.” He smiled weakly.

The pair stared up at the stars for a while. They were quiet but it was a comfortable silence. Pomni found she quite liked spending time with Jax. She hoped he liked spending time with her too. She also hoped he wouldn’t push her away as soon as they climbed down from the ferris wheel. In a way she wished they’d never have to go back down. That they could just stay up there in silence forever.

Eventually they did have to climb down. Pomni found that while it was easier to go down than it was to go up, it was a lot more nerve wracking. She almost fell when she got near the bottom but Jax caught her.

They walked back to the tent in silence. They made it to Jax’s door but instead of continuing on Pomni stopped with him. She felt like she should say something. Offer something. Anything. She didn’t know.

“Do you want a hug?” The words were out her mouth before she even realized what she was going to say. Why would she ask that? She didn’t even like hugs.

“Yeah,” Jax was looking away.

Pomni stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. He was warm. His arms were surprisingly strong as they wrapped around her. She found that she didn’t mind hugging him all that much. She almost didn’t want to pull away, but she did.

“Goodnight, Jax.” She said as she turned to walk towards her room.

“Goodnight, Pomni. And uh, thanks,” He paused, “For everything.”

“Anytime.” She replied.

Pomni heard his door close behind her. She made it to her room and flopped down onto her bed. She was tired now. Her brain felt like it could finally shut off. She told herself it had nothing to do with her budding friendship with a certain purple rabbit. But her heart knew better.

authors note: i love writing them being soft with each other. it just like scratches my brain. also i got the title from semi-automatic by twenty one pilots. idk i feel like it’s a very jax-coded song. thank you for reading, my lovelies!! ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘

[salemisasupernerd]

ONLY people who still love Ragatha can like/repost this !!!

Ya'll real ones <333

Repost to spread love for our beloved girlypop <3

[salemisasupernerd]

✮⋆˙ random jax headcanons

these are kind of all over the place. some are kinda angsty. tw: discussions of mommy issues and homophobia. oh and also weed lol.

he was totally a loser in the real world

like i’m talking video games and radiohead and reddit

probably from the midwest

that’s where the corn fear comes from cause yk there’s a bunch of corn in the midwest

definitely liked anime but like only shonens because he felt like he had to be manly and stuff

still kept it a secret though cause he didn’t wanna get made fun of

super fragile masculinity (is this even a head canon)

liked midwest emo music

broke his arm when he was in late elementary school but was in the “never broken a bone” subreddit like a little liar

grew up on a farm (sorry i love this one)

was going to call gangle an otaku but realized that would make him sound suspicious (i saw this one a few times and i love it so much im stealing it)

had his ears pierced in the real world

can play the guitar sorta well

obviously we know he’s a lightweight when it comes to alcohol but i feel like he’d actually handle weed pretty well

not edibles tho. he tried them once and threw up everywhere.

references stupid shows he watched all the time

cat person all the way! he’s basically a cat himself.

probably wore like band t shirts and flannels

he doesn’t just collect keys, he also collects a bunch of other stuff he finds around the circus or on adventures

ragatha reminds him of his irl sister

favorite movie was fight club or something like that

liked ribbit because he was similar to him but also balanced him out

he doesn’t actually like being mean it’s just the only coping/ self defense mechanism he knows

he learned it from his mom

speaking of his mom

he has SERIOUS mommy issues

i think she was emotionally absent and when she did bother to pay attention to him it was to verbally abuse him

probably had some backwards ideas on how men should act and put them onto him

like making fun of him for crying

that’s why he’s so emotionally constipated

okay back to sillies (kinda)

he thumps his foot when he’s thinking or when he’s upset

his tail wags when he gets excited (when he has it)

hated that when he first got there

sleeps curled up in the fetal position due to trauma

did that before he even came to the circus

had a nihilistic outlook on life before he came to the circus and it only made it worse

energy drink enjoyer

lies awake at night thinking about embarrassing stuff he’s done

we saw how upset he got when he was in a humiliating situation

i think his mom probably humiliated him a lot as a kid and that’s why he reacts so strongly to it

thinks zooble is cool but homophobia from how he was raised prevents him from admitting that

bisexual but doesn’t realize it (no i won’t elaborate… at least not at the moment)

had a thing for ribbit

also has a thing for pomni

she reminds him of ribbit and it scares him because he doesn’t want to lose her too

acts like he loves scary movies and scary stuff but actually gets super freaked out and can’t handle it

watched pet sematary when he was like 12 and didn’t sleep for almost a month

likes to recruit pomni for his more benign pranks

he enjoys the pranks she joins more than any of the other ones

pranks her *slightly* less than everyone else

hates his overalls with a passion

doesnt mind his physical appearance as much

at least he’s tall

if someone he trusts scratches his ears he melts

actually does care about everyone in the circus but doesn’t know how to do so properly and is too scared to get attached.

thanks for reading!!! let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to elaborate on! or characters you want head canons for!

[salemisasupernerd]

⭑｡𖦹°‧ only if it’s you ⭑｡𖦹°‧

summary: jax gets sick. fortunately he’s found by the only person he’d actually let take care of him.

Sometimes Pomni forgot just how bright the lights were in the circus. It had been overstimulating at first but as time passed she began to adjust. Now it really only bothered her when she was coming back from a particularly dark adventure or forgot to turn the light on in her room to adjust her eyes before going out. This time it was the former. A whole adventure spent in a dark forest hunting ghoulish creatures that were harassing a nearby village. Lots of violence and destruction. Ragatha lost an arm. Jax would have loved it.

“Pomni, are you okay?” Ragatha asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up, “Yeah, I’m okay. Just had to adjust to the lights.”

“Oh okay! You just looked a little spaced out. Are you still getting those headaches?” Ragatha questioned, gesturing at her own head.

She was the first person Pomni told about them when she had arrived. Ragatha had insisted they go to Caine to see what could be done. He was, unsurprisingly, no help at all.

“Not really.” Pomni shrugged.

Ragatha made an expression Pomni couldn’t quite understand and then said, “Alright, well let me know if you need anything. I’m always here if you need me.”

“Thanks.” Pomni smiled weakly.

She watched as the doll walked back towards her room, rubbing the arm that had been torn off earlier.

Poor Ragatha. Something always seemed to be getting her down. Usually it was Jax. While Pomni was friends with both of them she could admit Jax took things too far sometimes and genuinely upset others. He wasn’t at fault today though, since he’d opted to stay at the circus. She’d thought that was odd but she didn’t question it too much though, he probably just wanted a break. Everyone needed those sometimes.

—

Jax tried to bring his knees even closer to his chest than they already were. He was so cold and the blankets he had piled onto himself weren’t helping at all.

He had finally managed to fall into a restless sleep and not even thirty minutes later everyone had returned from today’s adventure. He was always a light sleeper but it got worse when he was sick. It also didn’t help that his rabbit ears made him more sensitive to sound.

He silently cursed them as he began to shiver. At least when he was asleep he didn’t have to feel how miserable he was.

It seemed like he was getting worse by the second. Just this morning he’d woken up with a headache and decided it would be better to skip out on today’s adventure. He’d left his bed for just enough time to volunteer for Zooble to go in his place. By the time he made it back to his room his body was starting to hurt. Now it felt like he’d been beaten all over with a sledgehammer, his head was pounding, and he was pretty sure he had a fever.

He considered asking Caine for help, but immediately dismissed that idea. Even if Caine could help, which he most likely couldn’t, Jax didn’t want anyone seeing him like this. Let alone the thought of actually having to ask for help. No, he figured it was best to just let this run its course and save himself the embarrassment of being seen in this weakened state. He just hoped it would run its course quickly.

The circus was quiet now. Seems like everyone’s settled down, he thought to himself. Maybe now he could try to sleep this thing off.

He adjusted the blankets around himself and nuzzled his face into the pillows, hoping that when he woke up he’d feel better.

—

Pomni looked over at the warped clock on her bedside table. It was getting late and she was sort of hungry. Not that she could really be hungry here. It was more just habit. Or maybe instinct. Some kind of leftover urge from being human.

She should probably go find a snack before Bubble has a meltdown over her messing up his kitchen too late. He was prone to doing that. She couldn’t see why it mattered so much. It wasn’t like time mattered here, and she doubted Bubble slept. It was probably something in his code, there was something not quite right about that thing.

The hallway was dark now. Everyone must be in their rooms she thought. She tried to walk as quietly as possible partly because she didn’t want to wake anyone who might be asleep and partly because she didn’t want anyone to come out and talk to her. She just wanted to get to the kitchen, make some popcorn, and then get back to her room. She noticed just how eerily silent the circus was at night. She could even hear soft scribbling coming from Gangles room as she passed.

She was almost in the clear. All she had to do was get by Jax’s room and then make a sprint for the kitchen. As she passed something made her stop dead in her tracks. A sound so quiet she wondered if she had heard it. She leaned towards the door just a bit to see if she was crazy. There it was again, a soft, pained noise, not a whimper but something even more pitiful sounding.

Was Jax okay? Did it matter? Even if something was wrong, he definitely wouldn’t want her getting involved. Pomni knew he was the type to put up a rough exterior to keep everyone out of his business. She tried to respect that. She figured that’s why he was partial to her over everyone else in the circus. She needed to stick to it, and respect his boundaries now too.

Turning to leave, she heard it again. That sad little noise. What if something was seriously wrong? What if he was hurt? What if he was abstracting like Kaufmo? What if he needed help? If he was abstracting could she even help? Maybe she should go get someone. No, if nothing was wrong it would ruin whatever friendship they had going, and she didn’t want that. If she was so concerned she’d have to check on him herself. Since when had she started caring so much about Jax? Maybe when he started including her in his little jokes and making an effort to be slightly less of a jerk to her. She reached out and knocked on his door.

Silence.

Part of her said that she should leave now, clearly he didn’t want to be bothered. The other part told her to knock again.

So she did.

This time there was rustling inside the room. The the soft sound of footsteps. Then the turning of a lock. The the sound of a door opening.

“What?” Jax looked down at her.

Pomni gasped. He looked terrible. There were dark circles under his eye, his cheeks were flushed, and he was shaking.

“Are you just gonna stare at me?” He tried to tease, but the usual bite missing from his tone.

“Are you okay?” Pomni asked, ignoring his question.

Jax felt like he was gonna fall over. He wasn’t sure if it was from the illness or because Pomni could clearly tell he was unwell.

“Of course I’m fine.” He replied weakly, wincing at how pathetic he sounded.

“You don’t look fine.” Pomni said.

He was going to argue. Tell her to leave. Instead his shaky legs gave out underneath him.

Pomni barely registered what was happening as she reached out to catch Jax before he hit the ground. The first thing she noticed was how heavy he was. The second was that he was absolutely burning up.

“I’m fine, Pomni.” He tried to stand back up, “You can go now.”

He fell back into her arms.

“I don’t think I can.” She said as she pushed them both back into Jax’s room.

Jax wanted to curl up and die. First he got sick. Now, the only person in the circus he somewhat respected found him in this pathetic state. His head felt like it was going to split open. Falling must have made his migraine worse.

Pomni half carried half dragged Jax back to his bed. Surprisingly he didn’t argue. Actually he didn’t say anything. Something must be really wrong.

She managed to drop him down onto his bed and reached down to help lift his legs onto the bed.

“I can do that myself.” He said, lifting his legs up slowly.

“Oh, uh okay.”

“Come on Pomni. I’m not that pathetic.” He frowned.

“I didn’t say you were pathetic.” Pomni argued as she grabbed his blankets.

“I can grab my own blankets too.” He said as he weakly took them out of her hand.

Pomni stood awkwardly. She didn’t really know what to do. Now that she thought about it, she’d never had to take care of someone when they were sick. She’d been an only child and then as an adult she’d never really had the time to find a partner or anything. Between school, and then work and urbexing, it had always just been her. She felt ill-equipped to deal with this situation, he clearly needed help. Ragatha would probably know what to do, but Jax would kill Pomni if she went and got her.

“Are you gonna leave or are you gonna stare at my back all night?” Jax questioned.

Pomni looked down at him. He’d rolled over to face the opposite wall.

“You have a fever.” She stated.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” He grumbled into his pillow.

“Are you sick?” Pomni winced at how stupid that question was. Of course he was sick.

Jax didn’t say something sarcastic in return. He didn’t have the energy to. He told himself it had nothing to do with not wanting to upset Pomni.

“I guess.” He answered, as he pulled his blankets closer.

Pomni didn’t even realize that was something that could happen here. It made sense though. This was probably like her headaches. One of those few things Caine couldn’t control.

Jax was shivering like crazy. She could see it despite his pile of blankets. Fever chills were one of her least favorite parts of being sick.

It felt like the cold had slipped into his very bones. He couldn’t remember a time where he’d ever been this cold, in the circus or back home. He wanted Pomni to leave so he could go back to being miserable by himself. Maybe get some more sleep, despite the horrible nightmares that seemed to be accompanying his fever. He was so tired. His eyes felt so heavy.

Pomni just started at his back. She had no clue what to do or say. Clearly he wanted her to leave but she didn’t think that was a good idea. If something bad happened to him she knew she’d never forgive herself.

She watched as his breathing slowed. Had he fallen asleep? That would be good. The best thing for sickness is sleep.

With things finally settled down a bit, she realized just how badly her legs hurt from standing up for so long. She looked around the room for a place to sit and saw a plush looking bean bag in the corner. She made her way over and sat down. She felt a bit like a creep. Sitting in Jax’s room while he slept and clearly didn’t want her there. Still, it didn’t feel right to leave either. She decided she’d give it a little longer and if nothing happened she’d go back to her room.

Pomni was almost asleep when she heard the sound of movement across the room, followed by a scared whimper. She looked around for a moment confused, why was she in Jax’s room? Then she saw him flailing around on his bed and remembered exactly why. He was sick. Really sick.

She practically jumped off the bean bag and hurried over to the bed. His eyes were closed but he was squirming around and breathing heavily. A fever dream, she realized. The only thing worse than chills.

She reached over and gently shook his arm. He didn’t wake up. She shook harder. He jolted awake, sitting up abruptly only to collapse back onto the bed. His pupils were pinpricks in a sea of yellow and he was hyperventilating.

“Hey Jax, it’s okay it was just a bad dream.” She said, reaching a hand out only to remember herself and drop it.

Jax looked over at her, “Where is he?”

“What? Where is who?” Pomni was confused.

Tears began to poor down his face, “Where is he? Where’d he go? I know he was here!”

“Jax, no one was here. It’s just been us.” She said hoping to comfort him.

He curled up into a ball and began to sob, “He’s coming for me. He told me he was coming for me. He hates me for what i did.”

Pomni never thought she’d see Jax like this. It scared her. Part of her wanted to leave. Go back to the comfort of her room and forget about this. But Jax needed help and she was already in this deep.

She sat down on the edge of his bed and carefully put a hand on his back. Pomni usually hated physical touch but she hoped it would ground him a little. She started to rub gentle circles into his back. He didn’t pull away.

“Jax it’s okay.” She consoled, “It was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real.”

She continued to rub his back and whisper soothing words to him. His sobs quieted and eventually stopped. The shaking persisted.

“I’m safe?” He asked finally.

“Yeah. Well, as safe as we can be here.” She laughed tiredly.

He was silent for a moment and then, “You must think I’m pretty pathetic huh?”

“What? No, why would i think that?” Pomni replied.

“Because I can’t even take care of myself when i’m sick, like some kind of loser.” He answered.

“You aren’t a loser for needing someone to take care of you. Everyone needs that sometimes.” Pomni stated.

He grunted.

“You look cold.” Pomni frowned, all his blankets had come off when he’d panicked and now he was shivering extra hard.

“Probably because I am.”

Pomni grabbed the blankets and covered him back up.

“Is that better?” She asked.

“Not really.” He answered.

Pomni thought for a moment. He looked miserable. It made something in her chest feel tight. She was mentally exhausted. Even if they didn’t technically need sleep, she wanted some. This night felt like it was lasting forever. But she couldn’t just leave Jax like this. Then she got an idea. One she never would have even had let alone gone through with back in the real world. She wasn’t in the real world anymore though. She wasn’t that person anymore either. A new body. A new name. Everything in her life had turned upside down. Everything she’d done tonight had been crazy. What was one more crazy thing?

Pomni found herself sliding under the blankets beside Jax. He looked shocked for a second before his signature grin made an appearance.

“Couldn’t resist me even like this, huh Pomni?” He teased.

“Shut up before I change my mind.” She frowned.

“Hey I didn’t ask for you to sleep with me.”

“I’ll leave.” She threatened.

“Please don’t.” Jax whispered.

“Okay, I won’t.” She said, adjusting her position to be more comfortable.

The pair were silent for a while. Just existing in the same space. Pomni could feel Jax shivering beside her but she didn’t say anything. Neither did he. She thought he might be asleep. Then he moved, closer to her until they were just barely touching. To her surprise and his, she didn’t pull away. She found that she didn’t hate the touch. They stayed like that for a while. Then he moved again, this time so that his face was just barely against her shoulder. Pomni was still for a moment and then to Jax’s surprise she pulled him into her arms.

She didn’t know why she did it. She knew she normally wouldn’t have even considered doing something like that. This situation wasn’t normal though. She figured it was a mix of some sort of soft human instinct and who she was becoming in this digital world. Either way she didn’t hate it.

Jax stiffened for a moment before melting into her arms. The warmth from her body seemed to ease the cold in his just a little. A part of him felt shame for being so clingy and vulnerable, but most of him felt relieved at the touch. It had been so long since he’d been held or touched gently. He knew he’d regret this when he felt better but for now he felt safe, and that was what he needed. After all the pain and cold and nightmares he just wanted to feel safe for a bit. He nuzzled into her neck seeking out more heat. He knew he’d feel especially ashamed about that action, but he was too tired to care at the moment, and at least it was with Pomni. If it was with Pomni maybe it wasn’t all that embarrassing.

thanks for reading!!! ⋆˙⟡♡

[salemisasupernerd]

hi i’m salem! welcome to my blog!

i love all things fandom and also writing! so i decided i’d start a blog to post about fandom related things as well as my own personal fics and headcanons!

fandoms i’m a part of:

jujutsu kaisen

chainsawman

the amazing digital circus

star wars

yellowjackets

death note

characters i will write for:

jjk

satoru gojo

suguru geto

choso kamo

nanami kento

ieri shoko

iori utahime

sukuna ryomen

yuki tsukumo

chainsawman

aki hayakawa

angel devil

makima

tadc

jax

pomni

ragatha

zooble

gangle

kinger

star wars

anakin skywalker

padme amidala

obi wan kenobi

han solo

leia organa

luke skywalker

din djarin

yellowjackets

nat scatorccio

van palmer

lottie matthews

taissa turner

shauna shipman

jeff sadecki

misty quigley

death note

misa amane

L lawliet

light yagami

rules for requests

i will take asks for any of the characters listed. if they aren’t listed then i might still write for them but won’t necessarily take requests for works about them. mostly because certain characters are minors and i don’t want to receive nsfw requests for them.

i’m always watching and reading new stuff so i will update overtime to include new fandoms.

i will write and take nsfw requests but only for characters who are not minors!!!

i will also write for ships as long as they aren’t creepy or weird (teacher x student, parent x child, weird age gaps, incest etc).