samuraiofice

[samuraiofice]

Finished...

Catching up slowly... have to learn to actually fuckin draw instead of whatever the hell I normally do. Here's an attempt at sketching a redraw of a shitty icon...

[samuraiofice]

"Wait, what the fuck... I can teach them to fight... I can... I can fix this..."

Debating was not precisely a strength of his, but it also wasn't time for that.

"Wait, hold on, I'm coming..."

"How many people in this city do you genuinely think know how to subsistence farm, fish, purify water, maintain and forge new weapons, not just mend clothing but spin/weave/sew cloth, or actually form and keep a collective? What makes you think you could teach even fifty of them?"

"Whatever, you win the debate. I'm getting a crunchwrap, join me when you feel like it."

The demon straightened out and moved to the Taco Bell door, ducking to enter the establishment.

[samuraiofice]

Catching up slowly... have to learn to actually fuckin draw instead of whatever the hell I normally do. Here's an attempt at sketching a redraw of a shitty icon...

[samuraiofice]

"I don't see how anarchy isn't fair... what's not fair is anyone having power over anyone else."

"If we get rid of the gods, the government, and anyone else who stands in the way, then people have a chance. People can fight anything that tries to pop up. And if we teach them how, then we won't have any form of government."

"Worse problems arise there, because if you institute proper anarchy, even the pretense of being fair is now gone. You'd need not just capital, but exponentially more material resources upfront, to succeed."

"Firstly, you couldn't even have the intellectual property protections that would let you participate on some level. Whatever entity has the most resources and storefronts is just going to take what you do and out-compete you... Second, destroying normalcy would radically redefine what commerce is. Disposable income isn't going to be a thing if the only towns are company towns with scrip or small cashless communes, and you're not necessarily going to have people able to leave those at all... Thirdly, expanding on company towns, any entity with at least a regional monopoly on violence will establish their own harsher and more despotic government than the ones you destroyed. Like, you're hypothetically advocating for grand-scale Balkanization."

[samuraiofice]

"He doesn't have a body? Good to know. Thinking about it, I don't think I've ever dealt with a ghost..."

"If ghosts are just energy though, do you suppose ice magic could freeze them into enough of a physical form to hit them proper?"

🌀 "Ah............. you know he doesn't have a body right now, right? Do you even know what a demon is??"

"And yeah, that's the whole reason I'm in exorcist cram school. So thanks, but I've already got people training me." 🐈‍⬛

[samuraiofice]

"Why does everyone have to make everything unfun?"

"At that point, isn't the government just precisely what TGP wanted to be? Maybe that's where I should aim next. Make sure that everyone is free..."

"You could probably get away with selling exclusively at farmers' markets, but that's not going to make you a zillionaire or anything."

"They might even reverse-engineer your process and steal it anyway, patenting the technique out from under you... Then, once you finally scrape together the cash to actually create a small business, you'll suddenly get a cease and desist to stop using their process."

[samuraiofice]

"That's super fucking lame! Once I'm done with TGP, maybe the food industry and their regulations should be my next target..."

"Plus, I can't just give my secrets away like that. What if someone steals it? Can't I just make it all myself?"

What does Culver's have to do with Mormons? They don't even make a pastrami burger!

"Funeral potatoes are pretty good, I guess... I actually drove my study group at Wisconsin-Madison up to the original Culver's in Sauk City, once."

"Food industries have a lot of regulations you'll need to pay through the nose to comply with. You'd probably do best by developing a unique process to create a dessert, patenting a reproducible method, and licensing (or selling) that patent to an existing frozen desserts company."

[samuraiofice]

"That's the easy part! I put the pointy end of my sword through a part of his body that he needs to live."

"If you can't handle it now, then all you need to do is to learn how to fight better, right? I can help you train if you want."

@samuraiofice continued from here:

"Fight? Okay, but I intend to kill."

"If you can handle it, be my guest. I don't care how it gets done, I just want it done."

🌀 "Kill? And how are you gonna do that?"

"I am training to be an exorcist, you know. Maybe I can't handle it now, but that's the goal anyway." 🐈‍⬛

[samuraiofice]

Send ‘🌟’+ a wish and my muse will try to grant it.

Mun reserves the right to either corrupt or accurately grant the wish as they see fit!

[samuraiofice]

“You’re gonna fight Satan? Get in line dude, I was here first.”

"Fight? Okay, but I intend to kill."

"If you can handle it, be my guest. I don't care how it gets done, I just want it done."

[samuraiofice]

"Yeah, I've been to Culver's. Those Mormons don't make bad food. But it was also the first meal I can remember eating after I woke up, so maybe that's a factor..."

"Actually, I should probably start experimenting with making other types of iced desserts. I could amass a fortune..."

"Have you had frozen custard? It's like that as compared to ice cream."

"Gelato's denser, smoother, and paradoxically creamier- despite using whole milk instead of heavy cream. Custard has more egg flavor, though."

[samuraiofice]

"Oh... One less tyrant to take down then."

Less to research meant that he'd be done sooner. On some level, he was a bit haunted by the fact that this woman seemed to believe that he wasn't out of place here. It might be a trap.

If she thinks that I don't know that she knows, then she knows that I'll turn my back and carry on. But if she is trying to stop me, then the only way to stop her from stabbing me in the back is to force her to fight me from the front. Which means I need to spill the plan.

"In that case, I'd like to fight Satan instead. Do you happen to know where I can find information about traveling to and from Hell, or wherever he is? I'd presume there's some magical secret to it, and it's not like Yomotsu Hirasaka where it's so easy that you can DoorDash to it."

So this young man got permission to independently study here? Though the question he had only caused Nix to look a little tired. Of all the things to be asked.. "You're asking the wrong person about that. You see, exorcists don't need to be religious in order to do their work. I don't believe in God or a lick of the 'good word' you mentioned. I've only seen evidence that Satan exists and poses a real threat to the world. So.. I suggest you find one of the local priests to ask that instead."

[samuraiofice]

"Class? Oh, no, I'm just here for research purposes... self study... y'know... about reading the good word, and all..."

"Actually, I did have a question. How would one go about attempting to find God?"

@samuraiofice said : -Flips loudly through book-

"If you pull at the pages any harder, you're going to damage the book. Whose class are you in?"

[samuraiofice]

"Really? ... Probably a waste then. Although, I've never actually tried Gelato. I can't figure it would be that bad, but there's no way it'd match my recipe for ice cream."

"You want texture? I can fine tune the texture better than any man or machine you'll ever find."

"Yeah, actually... It's downright litigious that they call it gelato. It's not creamy in the slightest! It's like the same size as those pre-packed, deep-frozen Luigi's sherbet cups and has the the sort of pebbly texture of an ICEE but with the consistency of an Italian ice. Immensely disappointing at five dollars, you could buy actual gelato for that money!"

Fang let himself cool down from the impromptu rant.

"The taste is spot on, but the marketing is just incredibly deceptive. I can't see how that was the same product for the test locations."

[samuraiofice]

It seemed that Fang had either resorted to killing him via an indirect attack on his kidneys, or that he was genuine.

"Yeah, alright. I've taken riskier deals before."

"It's funny how such a simple package can turn such heat into an enjoyable time. Have you tried the Baja Blast Gelato?"

"Yeah, that's good practice... It's kind of a nightmare finding waterproof tactical boots in a US Men's size 20. Like, steel toe work boots? Sure. Cowboy boots? Whatever, decent ones are usually custom order anyway. Hiking boots? Not with ankle support. Tactical boots? You pay like four times the price and send a fax to custom order directly from the factory."

Since that cursed statue had telekinetically fired nails at him and totally shattered his left ankle back when he was about to turn sixteen, it had always regenerated with some kind of scarring to his tendons. Fang adjusted just fine to doing whatever he needed to in boots with support or just barefoot, but hiking or running in sneakers was almost a guaranteed rolled ankle.

Fixing any of his chronic injuries was pretty much the complete opposite of his domain.

It was not surprising that clerics capable of casting Greater Restoration were either completely unwilling (or suspiciously far too excited) to treat a demon lord for whom re-mutilating problem areas and freezing passive regeneration with a blessed silver spike was necessary.

Druids refused him out of hand, even if they were fine with handling silver or frequently blessed it themselves. Being destruction incarnate was kinda sorta bad for nature.

The one Bard he'd met that happened to know the right spell backed out after deciding the demon's scars were too alluring and trying to charm him into being another notch in their belt.

"I can see where taking a vehicle with a lot of identifying information (or lacking critical identifying information) to a repair garage would be a no-go when you're trying to lay low."

Frankly, Fang was planning to bail on the TGP research complex explosion. He wasn't himself, he couldn't find a death toll, and somebody is already suppressing the story.

Fang wasn't, however, bailing on Jacob. The boy did not deserve the horsepiss the demon pulled him into.

"If you can trust that I'm selfishly assuaging my guilt, I can handle discrete transport and we can hash out reimbursement over crunchwraps."

[samuraiofice]

"I've had two pairs for a while now. Luckily you didn't blow up the car, but it's damaged enough that it's going to be a pain in the ass to keep traveling under the radar."

Thinking of that, it wouldn't be a bad idea to pick up another pair. Maybe something a bit more stylish this time.

"I actually had to make a temporary pair of boots from ice on the way back to protect my feet. They still kinda fuckin hurt. The ground was still hot, so I had to make the shoes a bit tall to keep me further off of the ground** walking back across that."

"Fine, I believe you."

The demon did not, in fact, believe Jacob would be safe from everything. He believed the kid would either die in a fight he chose or be forced to live in a way so much worse.

Fang did opt to no longer care about sparing the demigod from the world of magic, however. Little blood knight wants to rawdog reality, that's his choice.

"Where'd you get new shoes, by the way?"

[samuraiofice]

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