sassysapphic

[sassysapphic]

hey does anyone wanna do the funniest thing ever

[sassysapphic]

I feel lucky that my pet became a meme that was not adopted and used by nazis. everyone that has told me they adore this meme is a cool person and not a scumbag loser. if she became the face of a crypto scam or the name of an illegal government entity id have a crisis

[sassysapphic]

my gf showed me this awesome picrew, so i thought id start a chain! here

tagging: @mossroomq @bigshot-furbiestm @godofautism @that-darn-clown @swaggy-skeletons @radiofullofstatic and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[sassysapphic]

Thanks for the tag MWAH

picrew and last song you listened to <3

no pressure tags

@wilburthetherian @hold-my-dr-pepper @femboy-hooters-official @100percent-shell-oil @nanochittle

@tameable50 @ford-mustang-1969 @truly-jcjenson @sam-the-skelepun

[sassysapphic]

tumblr are you telling me something

[sassysapphic]

Gif: @angelshizuka

We need to talk about these lines though, because Blitz’s immediate thought being that he wasn’t good enough. That he needs to do better. The way he says “I can always do better” really hammers in the idea that he’s been told he wasn’t enough before, and he’s had to plead to stay around (Cash I’m looking at you.)

Because to him at this part he thinks Stolas is getting rid of him, and if someone’s leaving him it must be his fault.

[sassysapphic]

Stolas: If he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?

Blitzo: You sprung this on me out of nowhere after a year of treating me like your personal buttplug. I've already told you once that you make me feel like shit all the time.

Stolas:

[sassysapphic]

‘it’s a five second clip, it can’t hurt you’

the five second clip:

[sassysapphic]

Coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or autumn | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | Egyptian mythology or Greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

Tagging if y'all wanna :) @maxwellpdf @failurebydesign @im-almost-okay

Coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent van gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

Thanks for tagging meeee @lily-leaves 🩵

Im tagging anyone that wants to do it! Also -> @mollyhale @opalsiren @tarte-au-beurre @southerntinkerbelle @venus-kisses @thisperfectmonsoon @cruel-style @meaningtotellyou @singlethread @chiptunecreature @rosebian

No pressure ✨💅🏼🌸💋

[sassysapphic]

changing elves from being assholes with a superiority complex and recharacterising them as just sort of weird guys that have an entirely different set of social behaviours to harken back to the days when people thought autistic people were a kind of fae for having odd behaviours. the entire reason why they dont particularly enjoy gatherings of men or dwarves or whatever is because they tend to be loud and the average elven social gathering is just a bunch of them sitting in a room in silence ignoring each other

like theyre still kind of mean but its more of them being blunt and lacking empathy rather than being condescending or purposefully malicious

[sassysapphic]

Will never know peace until I find another relationship like this

[sassysapphic]

[sassysapphic]

thinking about harvey stardew valley and being a rural country doctor with a caseload like:

guy who won’t accept any diagnosis except “you have consumption and need to go to the seaside for your health”

woman who asks what gemstone he would prescribe for her UTI

guy who spends half the day trying to give himself a concussion and the other half trying to blow out his hearing on his guitar

two people who have struggled with alcoholism for years but reject all of his resources for it UNTIL someone gifts them alcohol biweekly for a year straight and suddenly their lives turn around

guy who will not stop mailing people bombs but in a friendly way and like this just isn’t on the PTSD screener??

guy who won’t stop asking him vague but increasingly bizarre questions about the safety of truffle oil

woman who EATS ROCKS

and also there’s a fucking wizard. what’s up with that. how often do you think the man goes “why did i get an MD why didn’t i just train to be a wizard i didn’t even know that was an option” while performing emergency surgery on this one farmer who won’t stop picking fights with ACTUAL MONSTERS

[sassysapphic]

Unless it's a keg day.....then I become the face of capitalism

y'all missing the whole point of stardew valley. it's supposed to be slow paced. you're a farmer. crops do now grow instantly and you wont be making millions in a season. enjoy the fucking game, take your fucking time. take days off to just forage and talk to people. aren't yall tired of the grind from real life??? do you want to experience burnout in a farming game too??????

[sassysapphic]

My ideal date? You release me into the wild to hunt me for sport on your remote island BUT I’m not very good at hiding so you find me within 20 minutes. You hold the gun to my face but there is something so earnest in my eyes and hands that you cannot carry through. You pick me up and carry me back to your mansion. I am so polite and charming that you nurse me back to health. You grow to love and trust me despite the fact you’re holding me hostage after I fell of a charter vessel bound for Brazil. You buy me new clothes and have them shipped to the island. I kiss you good morning every day. You propose marriage. I accept. We skype in a priest and get married with the butler as our witness. That night I kill you and the butler. I redistribute your wealth. I live in the mansion on the abandoned island for the rest of my days. I study snail ecology. I never remarry. You were the love of my life but you were too dangerous and evil to live. I am buried next to you. The tides eventually wash our bodies away. Into the depths of the ocean, together.

[sassysapphic]

Men with a slutty little waists and majestic eyelashes>>>>

Women are works of art 💕

[sassysapphic]

Anything mythology related and I'm immediately tangentially typing for 3 pages

when the essay prompt lets me get a little autistic with it