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// not me finally see The Kingsman prequel and my Merlin muse rising from the ashes

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Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?

“Oh am bloody well am yers.” 

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"Hello darling." Eggsy says before giving the other a kiss on the cheek. [ superiortohisformerself ]

‘Isnae professional tae be kissin even on tha cheek at work, Eggsy.” 

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I wasn't always religious. But I am now, because you're the answer to all my prayers.

‘Ye should probably still nae be religious considerin most ah them dinnae like the fact that we’re fuckin” 

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Excuse me, do you have a band-aid? Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.

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Hey, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place?

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I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

“Ye would think after havin been yer partner this long Ah wouldnae be surprised at just how bad yer pickup lines are. Yer a bloody spy, Harry.” 

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“Fuck” Sentence Starters (part 2)

A continuation of this meme ( x ). Enjoy and feel free to make any changes !

Angry

“*puts up middle finger*”

“Watch your fucking mouth.”

“I can’t fucking stand you!”

“You wanna fucking fight?”

“I fucking told you so.”

“[text] F [text] U [text] C [text] K [text] YOU!!!”

“Come here, fucker, and let me break your neck.”

“Try that shit again and you’ll see what fucking happens.”

“♪ I’m gonna fucking kill youuuu~ ♫♪”

“Because I fucking said so, that’s why.”

“Well, guess what? I went to the store to buy some fucks to give but they were ALL OUT.”

Soft

“I’m…I’m fucking in love with you.” / “I fucking adore you.”

“I’ve never wanted anything so fucking badly.”

“Hold my fucking hand.”

“I’m not crying, you dumb fuck.” / “Fuck, now I’m crying.”

“Maybe I have fucking feelings too, motherfucker.”

“Fuck what everyone else thinks.”

“Honestly…fuck emotions.”

“I’m not o-fucking-kay, all right?”

“The world isn’t all fucking unicorns and rainbows.”

“I’m the unluckiest motherfucker I know.” / “You’re the unluckiest motherfucker I know.”

“You look…fuckin’ worn out.”

“I’m just ready for a fucking change.”

“F-fuck–my hands are shaking-”

“Those eyes get me every fucking time.”

“I–I’m trying my best! Fuck.”

Insults

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Is your name Oedipus? Because you’re one hell of a motherfucker.”

“Fuck you AND your mom.”

“Get fucked, asshole.”

“Oh, what’s this? *pulls middle finger out of pocket*”

“I wrote a haiku: ‘Fuck you and fuck you. / Fuck all of you damn bastards. / You’re pieces of shit.’“

Misc.

“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.”

“What happened was fucked up.”

“I don’t know. I don’t fucking know…”

“What the fuck was that?”

“What I’d do for a motherfuckin’ drink/smoke/etc. right now…”

“Let’s get fucking wasted.”

“Fuck the police.”

“There’s no way out of this fucking mess.”

“Fuck…”

“Watch your fucking language in front of my kid, dammit.”

“So…are you down to fuck?”

“Middle fingers up if you don’t give a fuck.”

“Let’s fucking do this.”

“Just fuck me up.”

“I do NOT say ‘fuck’ that much.”

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// oh my god guys so my bday is Sunday and one of my friends sent this to me all the way from London and I’m not freaking out at all ahhhhhhh

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007licensedkiller‌:

James didn’t react, it wasn’t the first time he’d broken into somewhere. “Well even I have my limits” he said easily smiling.

“Hmm.” He hummed as they moved toward the mansion that served as their base, “Ah should hope ye draw the line at takin a hand from another agent.” There is of course a tinge of humor to his tone at the later bit. 

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007licensedkiller‌:

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James took in everything, he’d memorised how to get down here so he wouldn’t need Merlin if he wanted to come back later, possibly without authorisation.

Merlin stepped off the lift platform and toward the ‘bullet’ that would take them to the rebuilt Kingsman base. “Ye cannae bypass biometric security.” He noted matter of fact as he took a seat, “Less a course ye plan tae steal a hand.” 

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007licensedkiller‌:

“I promise to cooperate as much as I can. Q highly recommends you he’s very fond of you” he followed Merlin inside, “you have an exceptional setup here”

He takes his words at face value, offering a single nod of acknowledgement, “The lad has quite a future ahead a him, if he chooses tae stay in this line a work.” He lazily looked at his clipboard as they were taken down to the proper level. “We dae.” He agreed. 

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007licensedkiller‌:

“Well I find covers a waste of time and not to my benefit and are difficult for a field agent to maintain and I find a bullet more effective for silencing opponents”

He can’t help but to shake his head, it’s subtle but enough movement that makes it clear he finds the words ridiculous. Holding his hand on the mirror he waits for the biometric scan before the ground beneath them starts to descend. “Yes, Ah have been informed.” He noted, “Unfortunately it doesnae work tha way here, ye dinnae just use a bullet when the need doesnae arise.” 

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007licensedkiller‌:

“You spend your spare time dressing people?” James asked lightly amused but followed Merlin nonetheless. “M will be pleased that I am being kept busy and out of his head”

“Tha’s merely a cover, Ah would say ye should be versed in tha but from what Ah hear from M ye disregard covers, so perhaps tha’s a foreign concept.” He opened the door for him to follow. “No doubt.”

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007licensedkiller‌:

“Let me do my job and get back to Six as quickly as possible I won’t stop you or get I the way I just want to go home preferably to my flat and a bottle of scotch”

“Tha bottle a scotch Ah can help with.” Given it his drink of choice whether he liked this situation or not he couldn’t help the momentary amusement. After a moment he turned to walk toward one of the dressing rooms. “Now tha we are on the same page suppose ye should get tae the proper Kingsman base.’ 

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007licensedkiller‌:

“Double ohs are not required to be like other agents. We work alone and we trust our own judgement. I will cooperate as much as I have to for the mission to be completed but no more than that”

“Ah am well aware.” He replies simply his gaze never leaving the other man, “Kingsman agents are well versed in workin alone and together, makes fer a well rounded skillset. Tha said Ah expect ye tae respect them as well as maself.”