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"Jesus is watching" Damn, I didn't realize he was freaky like that.
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Being raised Christian and fed that "Jesus/God is always watching" shit only results in an unhealthy fear of being watched, or a voyeurism kink.
#you'll never guess what I haaaave#both is also valid#shit post#post#aaand post#ex christian#ex catholic
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Mmm the horrors. They do not haunt me so much as they sit in the corner of my room making weird noises and occasionally throwing a walnut at the back of my head. They're also big fans of rhythm games.
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They're trying so hard to make this a culture war thing instead of a class consciousness moment.
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I'm mister spine twister. I'm mister curves. I'm mister scoliosis. I'm mister Sitting Hurts
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i'm in your walls, meth pipe
loving my new awesome nickname.
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Me: Mmm what should I get? I know, I would like one "Burger that hurts you" please :)
Me, 30 minutes later in the bathroom: What could have possibly done this to me? Certainly the universe is out to get me at no fault of my own.
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trying to have sex with my point-n-click wife but she keeps saying "hmm...i don't think those two things go together"
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"would you like to add tags-"
NO!!! IF SOMEONE SEES IT, IT'S THEIR DESTINY!!!
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I just bought a tube of green lipstick because I'm dressing up for a Renaissance festival and tell me why when I tried it on, it was RED. This was not advertised as color changing or any shit like that. THE TUBE SAID GREEN. THE LIPSTICK IS GREEN. WHY ARE MY LIPS RED.
#lipstick#absolute bullshit#shit post#post#aaand post#why would they do this#i hate the beauty industry#i was lied to
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Every once in a while I think about how when I got my wisdom teeth removed (all at once), and how I was going to be put under for the surgery (which I've never done before). When the doctor stuck the needle in my arm I just said "ow" in a monotone voice and he responded "your welcome" and that's the last thing I remember before passing tf out.
#dentist#wisdom teeth#why are dentists like that?#all dentists are kinda freaky#in mostly a good way#im tired#shit post#post#aaand post
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now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck
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worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean
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