setyotontowi

[setyotontowi]

Infovore

Aku selalu mengulang-ulang beberapa kalimat mengenai keputusan yang aku buat. Karena kadang kita lupa seiring waktunya. Jadi, statement itu akan kembali mengingatkanku. Begitu cara kerjanya, kan? Kuingat senin kemarin, aku bertukar smartphone dengan istriku. Hal ini karena agar aku tidak terbiasa untuk membuka sosial media, atau game online. Serta selalu membuka laptopku untuk membaca. Nah, ini bagian menariknya ~ kalimat yang selalu aku ulang ulang adalah: "Apapun yang bisa aku baca, akan aku baca"

[setyotontowi]

Acedia

Ternyata aku terlambat menyadarinya. Dalam keadaan ketiadaan keinginan untuk melakukan sesuatu dan kehampaan dalam tatapan kosong ke layar, aku terus menggerakkan jemariku tanpa makna. Terasa lelah sekali untuk berbuat sesuatu. Terasa kosong sekali pikiran ini. Dramatisnya, pada tenaga yang tersisa aku akan mencoba untuk tetap melakukan sesuatu meskipun perlahan.

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Milieu

Counted and carefully carved since the beginning of August 2024, to make sure I won't make same mistake again. Ini adalah tempatku bertumbuh, dan kembali. Entah apa yang akan terjadi kedepannya. Aku hanya mempersiapkan diriku sebaik-baiknya dengan perencanaan-perencanaan yang telah kurinci dengan penuh antusias. And following this letter, I will remind the future self. Don't make decision you will regret later.

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Locus

This is where all started. It was the longest arc in my life. Yet, who know it also place to return. Aku mengingatnya seakan seperti membuka buku lama yang telah kututup. Ada angin sejuk memoar yang tertinggal disini. Ada cerita sedih serta ada cerita bahagia. Seperti itulah kisah, seperti itulah kenangan. Tapi tak tahu ya, akan apa kejadian nanti di masa depan. Pastinya, kisah akan berlanjut menuju akhir cerita

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Stage

Kiranya sudah cukup bukti selama kau hidup ini, tentang tragedi yang akan menjadi lelucon lambat launnya. Katanya, komponen cerita yang membuat menarik itu adalah plot dan permasalahannya. Dan banyak dari kita akan menebak-nebak bagian akhirnya. Lalu ketika tiba di epilog, kita akan terasa kosong; cerita telah usai.

[setyotontowi]

Sekilas

Dalam perjalanan hidup manusia, waktu bisa saja terasa sangat singkat. Yang bisa saja kita lewati begitu saja. Yang bisa saja kita abaikan semau kita. Kebanyakan dari kita pun sebenarnya tidak peduli. Di keliling leher kita, dia, siap menggorok kapan saja. Merenggut semuanya. Aku tidak ingin berkata banyak. Hidup manusia itu, jika kamu benar-benar memikirkannya, begitu sangat singkat. Dan ingin kukatakan kepadamu. Hargailah itu.

[setyotontowi]

Composure

As I told over and over again, and as reminder just to myself, That living in this world is merely a trial for us. Nothing more and less. And because of it, that's okay whether everything is not as we desire. that's fine if life gives us a lemon. As simple as not doing anything stupid and things we would regret upon later. Lift your chin up, relax your shoulder, and don't be a ungrateful bloke.

[setyotontowi]

Solitude

I don't know why I do this. But out of the blue, in the middle of my full packed mind, I put my smartphone beside me. I close the lid of my laptop in front of me. Then I choose to sit in the corner of this room. Staring at a blank wall. Doing nothing and just holding my other hand. Perhaps, this feels strange at first. But then my mind become utterly clean, as if I threw all my problems onto that wall apathetically. It just empty. all become silence, loneliness and solitude just for a couple of minutes.

[setyotontowi]

Nudge

Let's recall things we have agreed on. All of my burdens lately are imaginary problems amplified by our thoughts. As long as we can eat food today, own a healthy body that can be used to do more good things, and have spare time to rest, it is far more than enough for us. We agreed that along our pray and hope for something, we should remember what is given to us, and that's all more than sufficient.

[setyotontowi]

Widgets

Lately, I feel I often see a time piece widget or calendar to look up how fast time has passed. As second ticks on the screen, it shows us that our time is gradually decreasing until reaching the moment when we die. Surely, we don't want to end it in misery because how we end our journey in life depends on what we've frequently did.

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Amatory

There are many things that happen throughout our lives. Among these events, some will eventually disappoint us, while others will bring joy and serenity. There are principles to face each of these events respectively: be patient when something bad happens and be grateful when something good happens. Alternatively, some of us are able to transform any moments to be source of gratitude. In their essence, they bring forth a profound sense of happiness. radiating like beacons.

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Sentiment

Sometimes, I find myself thinking and contemplating whether I have been a good husband. It was my choice that led to my wife and me living apart, no longer under the same roof. Perhaps, Rani shared the same.

Despite this acknowledgment, I have made the decision to continue in this situation for the next couple of months. It is in the future that I will reflect upon whether there is a need for further decisions or adjustments in my path.

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Notion

I find it rather strange that I tend to be more productive when I walked from my office to home. Despite the fatigue it entails, I am able to manage it quite effortlessly. It allows me to do multiple task on my list on the exact same day. In fact, this is why I came up with the idea to walk every time I head home.

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Serendipitous

Isn't it remarkable to think that events which seemingly shouldn't have occurred actually take place? These incidents unfold purely by coincidence, leaving some of us in awe, perceiving them as miracles that are difficult to fathom. It's astounding to consider that such extraordinary occurrences exist within the realm of our everyday lives. Nevertheless, in the grand scheme of things, they are merely mundane happenings that hold no significant importance.

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Reverie

I had this vivid dream that I can't seem to forget. In the dream, I encountered two people who left a lasting impression on me. One of them was a tall person, probably in their late teens, while the other was a fully grown woman in her twenties. As soon as I saw them, tears started flowing down my face because I instantly recognized them as my children, Hana and her brother. I held them tightly, overcome with emotions due to our long separation. They then led me to a place that felt like where their mother, my wife, belonged. At that moment, I had already prepared myself for the worst. But just like that, everything faded away, and I woke up, feeling a mix of relief and longing.

[setyotontowi]

Intrinsic

Look at your hand and move your fingers slowly. It often comes up with some kind of consciousness. We can do everything we want and it can be either a good or evil act. We are not bound to anything. Towards rules and time as well and both can be deceiving. They exists but not visible, just like our mind. However I believe we born with pure heart and inclination to do a good deed. It is our world that gradually shapes us

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Ephemera

It's May 3rd today, at least according to my watch. I always observe and being aware how days turn into nights, how hours are passing, and how seconds tick by. It gets me pondering what the future will be. Sometimes, I wish I could stay in this comfortable routine. However, I know that life is full of changes and challenges. Although it's nice to be here, it's not always desirable. Watching Hana struggle to learn how to crawl inspires me. I, in turn, must do something more as well.