shamarko

[shamarko]

“Right on Time”

I whisper thanks when my faith runs thin,

When the storm creeps close and doubt sneaks in.

Even then—

I know someone’s out there bearing more,

With heavier hearts and louder wars.

So I breathe…

I let go of the grip I’ve held too tight,

Trying to fix what’s already right

In God’s sight.

I’m learning to surrender, not to quit—

To trust the plan even when I don’t see it.

And still,

You show up, Lord—quiet but bold,

Not always early, but never cold.

Always on time,

Even when I ain’t.

If I ever seemed ungrateful, please hear my heart—

It was never that I forgot,

Just got caught

In the human part

Of rushing You,

When You were writing something perfect through and through.

I am grateful.

For peace I didn’t earn,

For lessons that made my spirit turn.

For breath, for love, for strength I didn’t expect—

For mercy that covers all my wrecks.

So here I am…

Open hands, no pride in the way,

Appreciative for just one more day.

Blessed beyond what I could design—

You’re building something divine

And always, always…

Right on time.

[shamarko]

“When My Mind Gets Foggy”

By Shamarko Thomas

Sometimes my mind gets foggy, can’t even think,

Like I’m stuck in a room with no light, on the brink.

It gets real dark, and the silence gets loud,

Lonely thoughts creeping like a thunderstorm cloud.

Who can I trust when intentions run deep?

They only call when they hungry for the energy I keep.

Being alone used to bring peace to my core—

Now I’m losing myself, and it ain’t that no more.

It’s hard to admit, but some days I don’t wanna be here,

If it wasn’t for my baby, I’d have disappeared.

Wings ready to soar, spirit ready to flee,

But I stay grounded ‘cause that child still needs me.

I ain’t tryna be selfish, just tired of the ache,

Carrying pain while faking like I’m okay when I break.

Sometimes I feel like Earth ain’t my home,

Like maybe Heaven could heal what’s been done to my soul.

But deep in my core, I know I got reason,

Purpose don’t vanish, not even in this season.

Even when I can’t think, and my chest feels tight,

God whispers, “Hold on, I’m still fighting your fight.”

Time after time, it feels like I cave,

Buried in pressure, trying to act brave.

But something unknown still pulls me ahead,

Telling me there’s light beyond all this dread.

So I won’t let these thoughts steal my sleep,

Or rob my belief in the promises I keep.

I’ve seen too much to let go of His grace—

Even in pain, I still chase His face.

Yeah, my mind gets foggy, but I’ll clear it in time.

These shadows won’t win—there’s a mountain to climb.

‘Cause I got purpose, a plan, and a fight—

And I’ll rise from the dark, walking straight into light

[shamarko]

Title: “Midnight Cry”

From the book: Letters From a Father’s Heart

Tonight I wake with tears in my eyes,

Fighting the silence, wrestling the skies.

My mind is loud, my soul’s in a fight,

This thing called life don’t always treat me right.

I cry for you — my babies, my light,

Two boys, two girls — my heart, my might.

Some days I break, some nights I fold,

Missing you deeply, more than I’ve ever told.

Why must I suffer, alone in this pain?

Why can’t I walk with you through sunshine and rain?

Why must my love be felt from afar,

When all I want is to be where you are?

I give my heart to every child I see,

But my own can’t run back home to me.

I’d trade the world to watch you grow,

To wipe your tears, to let you know —

You are my world, my reason to try,

Even when I scream inside and ask God why.

I can’t protect you the way I need,

So I pray in silence, I beg, I plead.

Mikki, Chrissy, Shamarko Jr., and Prince —

There’s not a second I don’t feel what I miss.

I carry your names like a flame in my chest,

Even broken, I try to give you my best.

If you ever wonder, if you ever feel lost,

Know your daddy pays the cost.

But love? That never fades or runs —

You are forever my moon, my stars, my sun.

[shamarko]

Ode to the Scroll and the Stillness

By Shamarko Thomas

Social is good for business—

likes, links, eyes on the brand.

But for the soul?

It’s a double-edged hand.

I get on there and see love,

friends, soft laughter, God vibes—

smiles so wide they split screens.

And I know…

not everything is as clean

as the filter makes it seem.

But when you’re lonely,

even illusions can feel like proof—

of everything you’re missing,

of everything you never knew

you needed—

until it stares back at you.

Am I too uptight?

Too careful to dance in the moment,

to just live one night?

Why does joy feel like a gamble

and peace like a fight?

I’m afraid—

afraid of creating my past again.

Of building something beautiful

just to watch it break

in the same old way.

What am I fearing?

The unknown?

Or the echo of what I’ve already survived?

I know I have purpose,

but purpose feels far

when you sit with silence

and wonder who you are.

The birds chirp,

but they don’t answer.

God hears—

but sometimes, I wish

someone else did too.

I’ve given from empty.

I’ve held on while bending.

I thought I had family—

but that story’s ending.

Still, I’m tired of singing

the same old song.

It’s time to move on.

To risk the laugh,

to risk the fall,

to live with both fire

and fear

and faith

through it all.

Because maybe the scroll isn’t truth—

but neither is staying stuck.

Life’s out there, messy and real.

And I’ll meet it…

with love, with pain,

but this time,

for me.

I just want to feel free—

to live my life to the T with clarity, love, and peace,

with my kids, and true family,

releasing all the purpose, gifts, and talents

God has given to me.

[shamarko]

“I’m In My Chapter Now”

I am worthy of peace.

I am allowed to slow down.

I deserve soft moments after hard seasons.

I honor the bath, the book, the stillness.

God speaks when I get quiet.

Right words, right time — divine alignment.

Not a coincidence, but a calling.

Not random, but revelation.

I have seen it all fall.

And I have felt it all rise.

So I grind, not for applause —

But because I know what loss tastes like.

They say 6 months —

I gave years.

Missed time. Missed smiles.

But I kept the mission.

I kept the vision.

I’ve been betrayed.

I’ve been blamed.

I’ve been caged by others’ games.

But I see now.

I know now.

I listen now.

Every scar is scripture.

Every heartbreak was a mirror.

Every “no” was a redirection

To God’s “yes” within me.

Not everyone has your heart.

Not everyone deserves your energy.

Love doesn’t mean access.

And silence doesn’t mean weakness.

I plan less. I listen more.

I see the signs I once ignored.

I love wiser.

I move quieter.

I am not my past.

I am not my pain.

I am not their opinions.

I am not my mistakes.

I am rebuilding, brick by brick.

I am rising, chapter by chapter.

I am prepared — even if I doubted.

This is my moment.

So I will live.

So I will laugh.

So I will dream big, and not shrink back.

I will step on stage — bold and unafraid.

Because now,

I’m in my chapter.

And God already wrote the ending