shawnthepineapple

[shawnthepineapple]

My grandparents kidnapped me the other day

So one night my mom tells us that there are no plans for dinner so fend for yourself. It was only 6:00 so I went for a run. As I’m running down the street to my grandparents house I see their car pull out of the driveway. They stop when they reach me and say hi. Then they tell me that they’re heading to dinner and ask if I want to come. I hop in the car and ask where they’re going. They said they’ll go wherever the car takes them. They end up pulling into the nicest steakhouse in town. I was still in my running clothes and sweating like a pig. We weirded the waitress and hostess out many times that night but those are stories for another day…

[shawnthepineapple]

Y’all I always have so much chaotic energy to fill this place up but I always forget what I was going to say

[shawnthepineapple]

Uhu

This my friends is a Heinkel He 219 Uhu. It’s a German night fighter plane. Fun fact about it: if you try to teach a class of freshmen boys about this plane they will only talk in “uwu” language for the rest of the day. If you have several R’s in your name you will be cursed.

[shawnthepineapple]

I accidentally barbarian screamed at my crush

So there’s this game called Pit. It’s a very fast, very aggressive trading card game. The goal is to get all nine cards of a set. I was playing at a game night with like 20 other kids. There was about 6 people playing put including me. My crush and I traded and got the last card we needed but he pushed the button first. My hand was just above his so I lost by a split second. I heard someone screaming and I realized it was me. My crush was so shaken and stunned. He looked so scared and said “That was a full on barbarian scream! Please don’t scream at me again!”

so… yeah.

[shawnthepineapple]

Bruh it’s so boring not having a crush. Like I’m not emotionally mature enough to have a boyfriend right now but I can dream about boys. But there’s no one interesting out here and I’m so bored 😭

[shawnthepineapple]

I was just about to sneeze and I got to the “ah” part but stopped suddenly before the “choo” part. Y’all, that is the biggest betrayal my body have ever done to me.

[shawnthepineapple]

I’m at the point in my relationships that I’ll tell someone I’m working on an essay so can just go and sleep in my hecking bed and not talk to them anymore. Goodnight tumblr

[shawnthepineapple]

I hate when I say things to people that are not actually cringy but I decide to hate myself and think about it for the rest of my life

[shawnthepineapple]

I feel like this is tmi but does anyone else just like squish your boob? Like if I’m lying down for bed I’m just like heh heh squish. Not like all the time but sometimes my hand just rests there naturally.

[shawnthepineapple]

So last week my friend was making fun of me because my pencil was half as short as his pencil. Today I brought in a pencil that was only one inch long. He looked at me concerned. “Do you need a bigger pencil?”

me pulling out a pencil that is one foot long

“Do you need a bigger pencil?”

I will remember the look of defeat on his face and the taste of sweet victory for a long time

[shawnthepineapple]

My friend just asked me to go into her woods alone with her tomorrow. I’m not saying I don’t trust her I’m just saying it’s very suspicious.

[shawnthepineapple]

So I’m homeschooled but I’m trying to dual enroll at my local college this semester. So I was just doing my math in our tree(as one does) and the college called my mom and she had to go outside and yell for me to get down so I could talk to them. I may or may not have fallen halfway down and scratched my arm all the way up to my armpit trying to get down in time.

[shawnthepineapple]

idk why people are following me now. I haven’t even started revealing my true self yet.

[shawnthepineapple]

sometimes I wonder if he just texts me 15 minutes before he actually goes in just to laugh at me

I work at grocery store and every time my dad comes to pick me up he texts me that he’s in the store and I have to run around everywhere and find him. Sometimes it takes me 30 minutes cause he moves so dang fast.

[shawnthepineapple]

I work at grocery store and every time my dad comes to pick me up he texts me that he’s in the store and I have to run around everywhere and find him. Sometimes it takes me 30 minutes cause he moves so dang fast.

[shawnthepineapple]

Time to channel all of my chaotic energy into this website

[shawnthepineapple]

Just created an account because my Pinterest board was all tumblr screenshots