simpleellegance

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Pain = 🍞

Assigned Celiac at predictive text

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Got to experience something new in a bad way yesterday.

What a wonderful time for my therapist to be on vacation.

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“You dodged a bullet” WHY IS EVERYONE SHOOTING AT ME???

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“She did not need much, wanted very little. A kind word, sincerity, fresh air, clean water, a garden, kisses, books to read, sheltering arms, a cozy bed, and to love and be loved in return.”

— Starra Neely Blade

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the girl in my head won’t shut up until i write her down and ruin her life

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I found my way back to that garden

The doors you had carelessly tossed open

And found you had ripped up the flowers,

something ugly in their place

Thorns growing among my iris

Roses ripped from their careful beds

Morning glories wilting from the trellis

Despite this abhorrent destruction,

Satisfaction is nothing you will receive

For you’ve proven to me one thing

I may grow flowers as I please

My garden is safe, but I can still be free

The woods are not scary, and the doors can be repaired

No longer will I be trapped in the twilight

And no longer will I call your name searching into the night

You abandoned me, but I’ll always haunt you

My name on your mind, because I’m the one that got away

The day you realize and extend the branch

You will find only willow and yew in your grasp.

And I will have something that can last.

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I’m an astrology girly who regularly ignores astrology when it suits me, and yet I remaine shocked when something bites me in the ass.

Wdym the romantic endeavor I started during a Venus retrograde didn’t work out and actually dealt me to much mental damage?? WDYM???

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Silly girl

Falling for the boy

Wild child

You were only his toy

Baby face

Each interaction just a ploy

Tender heart

You would never be his joy

Sweet thing

Retreating behind your walls

Cry baby

Holding tears back in case he calls

Little dreamer

It is not true love if it mauls

Shy child

You have already gone over those falls

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Your gentle hand on my chin,

A kiss upon my lips,

Your eyes looking deep into mine.

What a wonderful hello.

A beautiful beginning,

A leap of faith into the unknown

Waiting hands to catch me.

Spinning, flying, what a dizzy feeling.

Feet on firm ground again.

A kiss upon my lips,

Your gentle hand on my chin,

Your eyes looking deep into mine.

What a horrible goodbye.

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I’ve spent so much time

Scraping and clawing against the earth

Desperate to leave a mark

Proof I was here

A way to be remembered

That I’m surprised it took me so long

To realize that my nails are clean

The ground at my feet free of scars

Because ever since that day

To hell with being remembered

All I want is to be noticed

By someone like you

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if nepo babies can publish poetry books made of half-finished tweets, i can write a trilogy

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Bittersweet goodbyes

The family I built and never expected to love

So quickly we have been spread like ashes

In the wind, clinging to new roots

Fertilizing the potential for new growth

But so sad am I

To not get to continue to grow

With the family i built and never expect to love

For these bittersweet goodbyes

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Writing poems about my feelings like 13 year old me never imagined.

Homie was struggling to make a short story be actually short

Now I can sum up the complexity of my grown adult emotions with some waxing poetic lines about flowers? WILD.

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What do you mean normal music fans aren’t literally terrified of the impending breakdown to a seemingly innocuous lyric halfway into a song on almost every song of a new album?

being a noah kahan fan is cool because every time you stumble across a song of his you haven't heard before it's like being eviscerated and beaten with rocks

because what do you mean to know me is to hate me, is to hate what i've become, it's to watch me as i'm fallin' from that ladder's last rung ??

what do you mean love was a deadline, spend the rest of my life fuckin' missin' it ??

what do you mean we used to sing along to church bells on sunday, and can you even hear 'em from the subway now ??

what do you mean i'd want typical things, i'd try to fit back into all my old clothing, and i would prove myself wrong that all along the problem was me ??

what do you mean they tell me grief is just love letting go, they say it like milk has been spilled on the floor ??

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“Beware of destination addiction: The idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, or even with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

— Unknown

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Joy Sullivan, “Before”, Instructions for Traveling West