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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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Tbh we always talk about the more eldritch side of the obey me cast, but yknow what would be nice? Seeing these old grandpas get so shocked at how humans work now.

I don't really think demons have a proper concept of evolution. Maybe its more of a power up? But they certainly don't evolve like how humans would. It'd be funny to see some of them get shocked to learn that we didn't exactly look like this before. Of course some of em may know before, but other demons who just think of humans as food and nothing more would.

Idk its just funny to see a demon having a whole crisis because how tf did we go from that to that?

Anon not only is this hilarious to think about, especially when you consider the differences between human and demon biologies, but it's absolutely insane to imagine these ancient know-it-alls either just forgetting it or like. completely missing humans evolving. kinda like MC: i know as a human i think my species is kinda important but how do you MISS that? Brothers: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I wrote that. I hope you dont mind.

no cws, but there's a nod to dialuci, which could also be very easily read as a reckless MC making a joke at Lucifer's expense. 5.5k words again, babes.

Evolutionary Biology 101 with Prof. MC (or: how the demons missed the emergence of Homo sapiens sapiens only for MC to educate them)

Mammon

Mammon was created some time before Cambrian Explosion - though don't ask him what year, no one was keeping track of things like that back then.

The general goings-on of heaven didn't interest him so much, so Lucifer would often give him the more fun, creative projects to occupy his time.

He didn't pay much attention to humans either, not until Beel, Belphie, and Lilith started expressing an interest in them - and by then human development had progressed to the use of tools and currency - completely missing their initial emergence.

"Well this is a waste of time! There's nothin' shiny here at all," complains Mammon.

"You didn't have to come with me," you say, for what feels like the hundredth time.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the smartest idea ever to bring the Avatar of Greed along with you while you visit the museum. Solomon had wanted you to pick up something from an acquaintance of his, and that acquaintance happened to be one of the research associates tied to the place. Your only saving grace has been the fact this is the Natural History Museum - still full of valuable artifacts, but less immediately obvious or eye catching. You wouldn't know what to do with Mammon in a place like the British Museum.

Or actually. On second thoughts... maybe you should take him there. He'd be right at home.

You leave the demon somewhere in near the entrance with a firm suggestion (though not an order) to stay put. The meeting is short and to the point, and you leave the office with an ancient scroll in hand.

Mammon is not where you left him when you return.

With a sigh, you find yourself a map of museum exhibits, resolving to find him by process of elimination. Maybe he's by some of the valuables displays - early tools, jewelry, and pottery could potentially snag his interest.

Except he's not where you expect him to be at all.

You find Mammon in one of the new exhibits - Roots of Australiana.

"I made that one," he says, pointing. You follow the line his finger makes and you can't help but feel the surge of fond exasperation when your eyes land on the taxidermy creature.

"Are you telling me you made the platypus?"

"Yup, all the handiwork of the Great Mammon!" he says, pride in his voice and the way he puffs out his chest. "Michael hated it but Lucifer loved it."

The affection you feel for this demon is immeasurable. You laugh, grabbing onto his arm and hugging him close, just to see that beautiful red blush take over his features. You don't let yourself be shocked by the fact that apparently Mammon was responsible for the creation of one of the weirdest creatures known to mankind. It makes a startling amount of sense.

You spend the next few hours in just that one exhibit, pointing at different animals and asking about their origins. Mammon doesn't know the answer to all of the questions you ask, but you do get a glimpse into what sort of life he maybe had before the Fall.

"Oh yeah! Jellyfish! Levi wasn't super interested in makin' anything but we all had to contribute something. He got his out of the way real early on too."

"Lucifer says he made the cassowary, but Satan swears up an' down that it was him drivin' at the time."

"Asmo, Beel, an' I worked together on Kangaroos. Or rather - I made kangaroos but Asmo didn't think they were 'cute' enough so he made wallabies. Beel was just a kid back then but he loved 'em so much he wanted to show Belphie and Lilith, so he made Rock-Wallabies. Small enough that he could pick 'em up and carry 'em in his lil' baby hands."

Eventually you get to the end of the exhibit, where there there's a display of recreations of the neolithic pre-human variations of the indigenous peoples. There's even an actual skull just sitting there in the open, beyond the rope boundary. Surprisingly, Mammon has something to say about this too.

"Lucifer, Simeon, an' a few of the other seraphim helped make those. I dunno why it took a bunch of them though considerin' there are none left around today. Too many cooks, I wonder?"

You freeze.

"Mammon," you start, still formulating your thoughts, "do you know what this is?"

He cocks his head, gaze flitting between you and the display. "It's jus' a monkey, isn't it? Not one of the cute ones though."

"No..." you say slowly, only because you yourself are kind of perplexed by this strange gap in his knowledge, "Well. Yes, kind of a monkey. But a monkey that eventually evolved into the human race."

There's a moment of silence as Mammon stares at you.

"You're shittin' me, MC," he finally says.

"I wouldn't lie to you about this," you say, even though you would in any other circumstance. Winding Mammon (or really, any of the brothers) up has become a personal past-time. "That right there is one of the protohumans. Paranthropus boisei if that plaque is to be believed."

Mammon looks so confused and it's hard not to giggle a little at his wide eyes.

But then you see his arm move and -

"Wait, Mammon-"

It's too late. Mammon has already reached inside the exhibit to grab hold of the skull. Alarms start blaring but he ignores it - probably doesn't even register to him. Instead, he's holding up the skull to be level with your own head.

You only just hold back from making an Alas, dear Yorrick joke.

"Nah, I don' see it. Where'd the fangs go? Your teeth so little compared to these chompers." he says, while fiddling with the admittedly ginormous teeth inside the skull.

You pull on his arm to try and get him to drop the skull before anyone sees, but he doesn't budge. "Please, Mammon. I'll tell you if you just put. The skull. Down."

You punctuate each word with more fruitless tugs at his arm, which prompts him to raise it higher to try and get the skull out of your reach. Security has now run into the room, and they're all trying to ask him the same thing - put the skull down and come with them.

Mammon snorts, narrowing his eyes. "Pesky humans," he grumbles, before wrapping his free arm around you.

You're not quite sure what happens next. You think there's a flash of wing, the touch of cool leather, but it's like your brain just doesn't know how to translate what your body is seeing, hearing, and feeling.

When the world starts making sense again, you have to blink a few times to get your eyes adjusted to bright sunlight. You can hear running water, and in front of you a platypus is lounging in the reeds of a small creek.

Mammon is still holding that skull.

"Alright, now that we're alone, you can start explainin' things," he says.

This is just too bizarre. You sigh. So much for getting Solomon's scroll back to him before sundown. Especially now that it seems Mammon has taken you entire continents away.

In for a penny...

"Is listening to me explain evolutionary biology to you really what you want to do now we're alone in the middle of nowhere?"

There's a splashing sound as the skull is thrown into the creek. You can't find it in you to care. Especially not when strong arms wrap around you and everything becomes Mammon.

Leviathan

Leviathan was created some million years before the Triassic era. He grew up at the same time the life in the ocean was starting to grow teeth.

He was the brother to spend the most time on Earth - but not on land. His presence in the deepest depths in the ocean was perhaps one of the reasons for their eventual gargantuan size. And as the creatures grew in response to this threat, Leviathan grew with them.

Really, humans only started being interesting when they learned to tell stories with nuance. His brothers like to joke it was the advent of anime and manga, but really, Levi secretly loved the puppetry of early civilizations too.

But by then, it was too late. He'd spent all that time down in the ocean, only to miss man's precursors crawling from the waves.

You're mentally patting yourself on the back for the absolutely brilliant idea to bring Levi to a human aquarium when he stops suddenly beside you.

It's not the first time that's happened during the day - quite often some scaly creature will attract Levi's attention and he'll be frozen staring at it for a bit. If you didn't know better you'd say he was trying to mentally communicate with the fish. You're happy to listen to his long rants and tangents after about that particular species or maybe a fun story he has about some of his oceanic trips. Normally the shifting blue ambiance of the aquarium lighting makes people look spooky, otherworldy. On Levi, it makes him look alive.

What seems to have stopped him this time is the absolutely enormous jawbone of what the plaque tells you is a Megalodon.

"It was a baby," he sniffs.

You grab onto his hand, pushing down the existential terror that anecdote brings up in you. Whatever this jaw belonged to could swallow you whole without realizing, and that's baby sized?

"There, there. At least it's swimming happily in the fishy afterlife with the rest of its species," you try to console.

"Not all of them," he grumbles sulkily.

That makes you freeze. You're staring up at the fossilized jawbone, contemplating the implications of that comment long enough for Levi to wander off on his own.

"MC," Levi calls to you, though you can't say for sure how much time has passed, "what do they mean by 'all life started in the ocean'?"

Once with Mammon was chance.

Twice with Levi - it can't be coincidence.

Or rather, shouldn't be.

"Exactly what it says," you say rather blithely. You should not have to explain this to beings who were definitely alive back then. "All life, including the reptiles, mammals, and even humans, started off as some variation of sea life."

"Oh, so you have gills? Why didn't you say so MC, I could've taken you taken out to visit Lotan ages ago if I'd known-"

"Levi, I don't have gills," you interrupt. "I have lungs. We've been over this."

He screws up his nose. "Seems like a bit of a downgrade, to me. Think about all the cool things you're missing out on because you don't have gills!"

"Missing?" you ask incredulously, "sure, we're coming back to the giant deep sea life that apparently isn't dead in a sec, but how can you miss all of human evolution?"

He blinks at you slowly.

"It's not like the land creatures were doing anything interesting."

You splutter. "Not doing anything inter- Levi they were evolving into humans. They were fighting and eating each other to distill the dominant species!"

He shrugs.

"Plesiosaurs did that too. If you wanted to see some really vicious fighting, you could always count on the Vampyromorphs."

"I'm sorry the what?"

Levi sighs like you were put on this earth just to test him. In your defense, you kind of were, a little bit. You sling an arm around his shoulders to bring him close. You're in this together, after all.

You don't hide your blush when he confidently puts an arm around your waist in return, hand settling on your hip. He uses it to steer you towards the Squid Tank.

"C'mon MC, your normie side is showing. Vam-pyro-morph. Giant squids with slightly cannibalistic tendencies. Ticklish underneath the tentacles and the teeth," he says, like that explains anything.

Sketched onto the plaque beside the tank is one of the early vampire squid precursors. It's the most terrifying thing you have ever seen.

Speaking of terrifying, that reminds you -

"Levi- hey. Levi, please, what did you mean megalodon aren't extinct-"

Satan & Asmodeus

Asmodeus was created sometime around the late Jurassic era. This was way before the modern variations of the Homo sapiens species, but a few of their precursors were mulling around.

That wasn't to say they were doing anything particularly interesting. Instead, Asmo was more taken with the potential colors of avian feathers. He was trying to campaign for more variation by aggressively making more wild and wonderful plumage.

Satan, perhaps, has the best defense in that he didn't exist as an independent entity until sometime around when humans invented agriculture. He may have had flashes of awareness within Lucifer, but it was very rarely during anything to do with the mortal races.

You, Satan, and Asmo had agreed to study for your next Devildom Law exam together in the House's library. Studying together was normally a thing you and Satan would do anyway, but Asmo had been falling behind somewhat in your last exams, and Lucifer was starting to get snippy about it. You suggested Asmo should join you and Satan, on the basis that the current unit is on human cultural developments, and you can teach by example.

Asmo was especially enthusiastic about that.

Surprisingly, he was a more effective study partner than, say, Mammon. The three of you had been managing to read quietly together for just over an hour. Your hand had drifted unconsciously into Asmo's hair, while Satan let his tail wrap around your ankle.

"I didn't realize humans had multiple forms too!"

Asmo's voice breaks the tranquility of the library, and you look up from your notes. Satan leans over Asmo's shoulder and hums a little in surprise.

You suddenly have a lap full of the Avatar of Lust as Asmo crowds into your space. He's got a book in hand - one on the history and development of human cultures. It's turned to a page on the origins of humanity, and it even contains one of those stereotypical diagrams you'd associate with the progression of evolution - from fish to primate to man.

"What-" you start, but Satan's already latched onto this subject like a cat with its prey.

"It makes sense - your current form is quite dexterous and good for persistance hunting, but it doesn't provide much in terms of raw power," he's saying, and what?

"Though it seems the cranial size and cognitive capacity of your current form is the most advanced - is that to make quick decisions and judgements?"

"You don't have to keep your defenses up with us - surely you know that we'll love you no matter what you look like," Asmo croons, twining your fingers together.

"Don't you trust us, MC?" asks Satan and damn him for being so soft.

"Wait, guys, you don't think..." you start but then trail off. After Mammon and Levi, maybe you shouldn't assume the knowledge of these dumbasses demons.

"Think what, MC?" Satan asks.

You can't help the laugh that escapes you.

"Humans don't have multiple forms, at least that I'm aware of. That's a diagram of human evolution," you explain.

It doesn't seem to clear anything up. They're both still staring at you, waiting.

"Humans didn't always start off with opposable thumbs. In fact, we actually started in the ocean as weak little microbes," you say, wishing you paid more attention in high school bio. "We eventually grew lungs and feet and all the other stuff until we landed on version I am today."

"Oh," says Asmo, and it's actually a bit of a surprise that he's the first of the two to get it.

"Kind of like how Satan started off as a parasitic feeling of righteous anger, then became a ball of miasmic spite before figuring out the whole physical shape thing?"

Or not.

"Hey, I was not a parasite-" Satan scowls but you cut him off before he could get truly worked up.

"No, that's more like human childhood development-" you stop yourself when you see their looks of confusion. Right. Basics. "Anyway. Human evolution happened over millions of years. What you see before you now is the result of thousands of generations combining to produce the most viable, strongest traits for survival."

"Oh!" says Asmo, and not again. "Like dogs!"

You go to refute that too, but then you pause. Technically all the different shapes and sizes dogs come in are the result of generations of selective breeding. Some have survived and some have died off.

"Kind of," you finally settle on.

Satan scowls. "You're not like a dog, MC. You're different to other humans, right?"

You sigh, resolving yourself to an afternoon of explain the theories of evolutionary taxonomy, genetics, and survival of the fittest.

To two of the most powerful beings in existence.

Great. So much for date night.

Beelzebub & Belphegor

Beelzebub and Belphegor (and Lilith) all had a fascination with humans and human cultures.

That doesn't mean they were particularly aware of their origins. After all, they had only been created towards the late Miocene era. They were children as the protohumans were taking their first steps.

To say the twins and Lilith grew up as humanity grew up wouldn't be incorrect. They were somewhat sheltered, though, from the worst of it.

You had promised this would be a quick trip to the university's library. You still have your student access, which grants you document delivery privileges - something both Lucifer and Solomon take advantage of regularly. Normally the library could send you a digital copy of your requested book, chapter, or paper, but in this case you had to go in and pick up a physical copy. Belphie and Beel had offered to accompany you for the trip, and in return you offered to get them a human world lunch - your treat.

However, you weren't banking on encountering one of your more detestable peers. You and he had never gotten along - not even since your undergrad days. He catches sight of you before you could turn and leave, and you were forced into a 'polite' game of catch-up.

The conversation starts and ends with pointed barbs and unwarranted bragging on both sides. Occasionally his eyes will flick towards Beel and Belphie at your back, both impatiently waiting for this to be over like kids waiting for their parent to stop catching up with an old friend in the shopping centre. Unfortunately it all devolves into something just shy of a screaming match when he decides to bring the twins into it, referring to them obliquely - insulting them in that underhanded way that conceited academics fling around their intelligence. There's something frantic about it, though.

He decides to take his leave when you start garnering the attention of other students.

"Right, well, when you're done associating with Neanderthals be sure to give me a call. I need that book once you're done with it."

"I would, but that lead pole stuck up your ass would probably block my call anyway," you sneer as he leaves, determined not to give him the last word.

A strong arm wraps around your waist, stopping you from going after that scholarship stealing prick by keeping you held against Beel's chest.

"I don't get why he made you so mad," grumbles Belphie.

"You mean besides sniping the scholarship and supervisory team I was gunning for during my year away?" you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to calm down. This probably doesn't mean much to them anyway. "He shouldn't have called you that."

"Called us what?" Beel asks, still not letting you go.

You turn in his hold, tilting your head. "He called you Neanderthals. Which is such a childish insu-"

"What's a neanderthal?" asks Belphie, coming up on Beel's other side to lean against you heavily. You're not sure whether it's his inherent laziness or his desire to constantly be close to you, but you appreciate it regardless.

You sigh. By now you've realized that for whatever reason, these ancient entities who predate humanity know nothing about how your species emerged.

You grab both of their hands in your own, tugging at Beel softly to get him to release you. He does, and you walk them towards the display at the entrance of the Anthropology library. There's a large, old diagram in a simple frame that feels incongruous to the ultra-modern aesthetic the rest of the library seems to have.

The picture depicts somewhat of a lineage of human species - with branching taxonomies to show some of the related Homo Sapiens species before your own wiped them out. You point to one of the closest humanoid figures - it's proportions vaguely similar to your own, but the arms and hands are too large, the skull too long.

"That's a neanderthal. They were a possible early prototype of humans," you say, and it's somewhat amusing to see the identical expressions of confusion direct themselves from you to the image.

Beel hums. "I still don't get it. Why did it make you so mad?"

You sigh. "The neanderthals were wiped out by the early Homo sapiens sapiens - my species. Well. Wiped out, bred out, there's still some contention. Supposedly their cognition wasn't advanced as ours, so by using it as an insult, he was calling you stupid, boorish, and outdated."

"I'll show him stupid and boorish," mutters Belphie, his human-looking form flickering slightly around the edges.

And no, as tempting as it is, you probably shouldn't let the demon loose on that human annoyance. You scramble to come up with something to distract Belphie, but all you can really focus on is the flickering.

Hmm.

"Neanderthals weren't the only human-like species people think were wiped out. There's some speculation that humans developed a sense of the uncanny valley because there were other species around that came close to threatening us," you start, tightening your grip on Belphies hand. You re-grab Beel's, now trying to lead them out of the building.

You continue. "Humans have this sense that basically freaks us out when we see something that looks, sounds, and moves like a human, but isn't quite right. It could've also developed as a way to weed out undesirable conditions or illnesses as humanity was evolving."

You can see your words starting to get through to Belphie, and wide eyes blink at you slowly. You can tell Beel is also invested, in the way he's stopped trying to tug you over in the direction of the vending machines.

"But I have another theory."

Belphie is very clearly interested now, but it's Beel who asks "what's your theory?"

"I think that there is another species - one stronger and faster and better at hiding itself - that humans are below in the food chain. All we can do is keep an eye out for them, because we sure as hell aren't going to be able to fight them off."

"I'd fight them for you, MC," says Beel, and he's sweet. But you can also tell that he's realized where you've been leading the conversation.

"What's the point of this all, MC?" asks Belphie and damn it you thought you managed to distract him. His shape is still flickering threateningly.

"I'm talking about demons, Belphie. You guys eat human souls as some kind of tasty snack. Humans can't fight back so we developed an ability to be scared so we could run away. That asshole back there was probably puffing up his feathers because he was terrified of you."

Finally, finally, that seems to appease Belphie. A self-satisfied grin crosses his face, and he leans further into you.

There's a loud growl, breaking the fragile peace. Beel doesn't even bother trying to look embarrassed.

"Yes, we can get food now. C'mere," you say before he can even ask, and begin to drag them anew.

A thrill shoots up your spine when you realize they let you lead them, these apex predators who are designed to consume you.

Lucifer & Diavolo

Unlike his brothers, Lucifer wasn't unobservant throughout prehistoric times. In fact he, Simeon, Michael, and a few other siblings were given the responsibility to push evolution in the right direction.

That final step between Homo Heidelbergensis and Homo Sapiens took its toll on all of them, and so Lucifer gave himself permission to stop giving a fuck about the mortal fleshbags to focus more on his family.

Perhaps this is why he didn't quite have the same curiosity about human culture that his siblings did - it was so much work getting them to that point that all he can think of was the long hours.

Diavolo himself had been born at some point in very early human history but he's always had a fascination with humans and where they came from - compounded when he found out the role Lucifer himself played in their creation.

But that doesn't mean they're both without some gaps in their knowledge (in some very important places)....

"Here, hold this."

This is the only warning you get before the squirming baby is deposited in your arms.

The child belongs to one of your friends from before college - before RAD. Your friend had brought it along for one of your admittedly rare catch-ups because she couldn't find a sitter, sorry! You watch helplessly as she leaves your table to head towards the bathrooms.

You stare at the baby.

It babbles back at you.

"MC?" a familiar voice calls.

You and the baby both look up at the same time with identical dumbfounded expressions.

Approaching your table is two tall figures, both wearing long and expensive looking overcoats. The one in red is grinning sunnily, while his companion in blue is screwing up his nose, making his glasses skew on his face. Diavolo and Lucifer take seats at your table, despite the fact there are plenty of empty places around the cafe.

"Please don't tell me you've picked up a pet, MC," Lucifer says with distaste, "Despite what you may hope, it won't teach my brothers responsibility."

One day you will teach this demon manners. This is not the way to greet someone you run into while they're on holiday.

"It's a baby," you say slowly, dragging out the syllables.

"Ooh a baby what?" Diavolo asks, and surely not.

"Something that's easier to train while young, I would hope?" Lucifer asks.

Well. Yes, but...

You squint at him. He stares back impassively, though you do notice the confusion in the way his eyebrows cock unevenly.

"A human baby!" you say incredulously.

Sure, your time in the Devildom was fraught with cultural misunderstandings, but come on. These are two of the most powerful beings in existence. Lucifer has been around since the beginning of time itself.

Diavolo pushes his face in close to the baby, and then you have to rear back as he turns to study you just as intently. Normally you wouldn't mind, but now is not the time or the place.

"It's so small, and squishy," he says.

"It's the weaker version of a human," Lucifer says, though he doesn't look as confident as his tone would have you believe him to be, "it likely needs more time to coalesce more energy."

"Guys," you say with exasperation, "it's a baby. It grows. Physically! And hopefully: mentally and emotionally. It doesn't shapeshift. It doesn't 'coalesce energy'. It just ages."

They're looking at you doubtfully. You really don't think it's that hard to grasp.

"Besides," you add, "this technically isn't even a human's weakest form."

"They get smaller?" Lucifer asks.

It's the first time you've seen him so freaked out.

"How?" Diavolo asks and no you are not going to explain this to him-

"I'm sorry - who are you?"

Sweet, saving grace. Maybe there really is a god looking down on you.

Your friend has returned. She looks apprehensive, though that may have something to do with the rather large, intimidating, obviously rich men huddling around you and her baby. Oh, right.

Your mind scrambles to come up with a good excuse.

"Oh! This is Luci...us," you start, and immediately panic when you realize you were about to use Lucifer's actual name. The demon in question shoots you a glare, but at this point in your relationship you've become immune.

"And this uh..."

Friend? Boss?

Actually. Fuck it. Time for revenge for almost forcing you to explain the birds and the bees to him. And all the other shit you've been through since waking up in the Devildom.

"This is his husband, Dia. They run the exchange program I told you about - the one I spent a year away for. They're actually thinking of adopting at the moment."

Immediately your friend's face brightens. "Oh?" she asks, "what age were you thinking?"

"Actually-" Lucifer starts, but you're not going to let him derail your Evil Plan™.

"Around the same age as yours," you interrupt.

This lights a fire in your friend's eyes, and immediately she starts her whole tirade anew about the lack of sleep and the burping and all the messes and the lack of sleep and the wonders of small humans forming their own consciousness and opinions and the lack of sleep and- well. Basically everything you had been unwittingly subjected to before you were interrupted by the demons.

Diavolo takes all the unwanted and unwarranted information with an enthusiasm that definitely helps play into the fiction you've set up. Beside him, Lucifer is smiling pleasantly, but when his gaze drifts to you and you meet his eyes -

v̴̥͠ȩ̶̃r̶̟̒t̵͚̍i̵͂ͅg̶̱̏o̶̤͠. you're at the edge of a precipice and you're not going to fall. you're i̷̳͝n̸̦̽s̴͔͐i̶͔͠g̴͉̏n̶̯̏i̵̮͑f̷̻̐ȉ̴̩c̴̛̞a̴̛͇n̴̜͠t̶̩́. it would be so easy to be crushed by this abyss-

you smile back just as congenially. Really. You'd think he'd remember that none of his glares work on you anymore. The baby in your arms squirms and holds its own pudgy little arms up towards the Avatar.

Huh. Interesting. That glare of his doesn't work on the kid either.

You're still forced to sit there politely while your friend rambles on about the wonders of human development and the joys of being a parent for another two hours. It's definitely worth it though - the picture of a small, red, wiggly baby being held at arm's length by the Avatar of Pride is one that will live in your memory for lifetimes to come.

Barbatos

Barbatos doesn't quite know when to attribute his creation to. It's never really mattered.

He wandered the Earth before the Fall, before humans. He watched that first creature crawl itself out of the mud. He watched as it crawled and stood and spoke.

He kept a close eye on this species - especially as they began to show intelligence. They created their own laws and measurements and perceptions of Time, which was cute, if a bit misguided.

In some of the early days, he let some of his true nature slip too close to the surface, and in return he was granted offerings of livestock and. Well. Live humans. Young ones. Too young.

There's warmth somewhere near your cheek as a cup of tea is placed down delicately beside where you had been resting on top of your assignments. You snort and a shiver goes through you as consciousness slowly filters back in.

At least there are worst ways to wake than with Barbatos' soft smile to greet you.

"Thank you," he says.

"For what?" you ask. You're still trying to wake up, and one of your sticky notes frees itself from your face and floats back down to the table you were napping working at. Admittedly, the smell of Barbatos' tea is doing wonders.

"For seeing to the education of my Master and his Lords. It wouldn't do for the future King of Hell and his council to be so ignorant in regards to their human subjects."

No way.

"You set me up," you hiss.

A gloved hand comes down on top of your head, and you put up a small token effort of resistance for a moment but no one can truly hold out against such soft head scratches.

"Perhaps," Barbatos says, and you're immediately reminded of why you associate him with snakes. "But it was a learning experience of your own, was it not?"

Thanks for the ask, Anon! 💛 I hope you don't mind the mess that spawned from it...

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#obey me fic

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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HDD Event - Curse Rewrite

A/N: Hello folks, I was disappointed by the lack of angst in this event so I wanted to make my own. And then I added some more. This is way longer and meaner than I planned.

If you didn't finish chapters 3 and 4 of the Happy Devil Day event, there will be spoilers, as well as spoilers for S1 and S2.

This part will be focused on the brothers. Might write a part 2 with the dateables (not Luke) at some point.

Warnings/Mentions: They/it pronouns used for Valago. Glitched text in the intro. MC is straight up not a good person in this fic due to the curse. Emotional manipulation, verbal cruelty, dubcon non-sexual touching (mainly in Beel's and Levi's). A lot of use and abuse of the pacts, including MC accidentally giving an order to remove clothing (which is immediately retracted, in Asmo's section). Skip this one if any of those make you uncomfortable.

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This was not how you were expecting the night to go.

"That last curse you were under didn't work properly because of the human, right?" Valago laughed with a manic glee. "They saved you from those masks!"

"How does this guy know about-"

"Don't you dare get closer to MC-"

"Valagoooo, don't be mean-"

"I'm not being mean at all!"

You didn't like the way Valago was looking at you. There was clearly something wrong with it, but you didn't know what it was planning. You were surrounded by some of the most powerful beings in all three realms. Their confusion wasn't helping you feel safe.

Unsure what to do, you made sure you were at least between it and Luke, Mul, and Aster.

"I'm going to give a present of my own... wouldn't you brothers like a chance to return the favour?"

There was a light in the room - a dark, pulsing light that hurt to look at and crackled with arcane energy. Valago strained but its smile never left its face.

Levi cried out.

Satan threatened.

Mammon cursed.

And the light buried itself in your chest.

You felt the magic crawling deep within you. It was thick like tar. It was searching for something but you didn’t know what, and it didn’t hurt but it was tugging at something within you and you thought you might throw up when it pulled and-

And you looked up at the people around you, the worried faces of the people that you love, and something shifts.

“What happened?” Satan’s hands fluttered around you, a stark contrast to his normally decisive nature.

“Are you hurt? Is everything alright?” Solomon followed, ready to heal you in a second, warm magic already at his fingertips.

“I’m not hurt,” you said, because it was true. Whatever Valago had done hadn’t injured you. You tried to think, to really assess what was wrong.

“Are ya sure? What’s with that black smoke?” Mammon’s panicked voice cut through your attempts to figure out what exactly the spell did to you. He was too l̴͙͛͝o̴͉̪̔̈u̷̙̱̓ď̴̙. “Hey, you little bastard! What’d you do to MC?”

“MC dealt with you at your worst, right?” Valago laughed. You clenched your fists. “Now you can see them at their worst! I just did a little curse to twist them up!”

“Twist them?” Diavolo snapped. Why did he always sound like he was s̵͊͌ͅh̴̘̓̑ô̷̮͝ù̵̟t̷̩̟͗i̶͕̯̇ń̶̢͈͗g̵̩͌̕?

“Undo it. Right now.” Beel was straight to the point, as usual.

“M-MC…” Luke crouched down in front of you. His eyes were wet, he looked so very young, and whatever had shifted in you before went right back into place for a moment.

“Simeon,” you said, slow, purposeful, careful with your words. “I need you to take Luke and get out of here.”

“No!” Luke gripped your arms, tears spilling over. Your body shuddered as you fought back whatever instincts the curse was pushing on you.

“MC, are you sure?” Simeon’s voice was gentle, too gentle, c̷̘͉̩̙̍͑o̴̻̽̕ņ̵͈̼̅̓d̷̞̟̬̈́ẻ̴̤̱̀̈́s̵̢͎̞͈͌̇c̷̫̟̉͂̂̍͜ë̷̯̭́̑̍͝ǹ̵͚d̸͎̗͑̕i̷̛̯͈͊̈́̚n̴͔̮̦̰̈́̇̆g̵̨̦̲̿͠ͅ, and you bit back a cruel comment.

“Luke, I’ll be okay,” you promised, gently prying his arms off you. Simeon, thankfully, took him before he had a chance to throw himself at you again. “I just want you to go for now. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“MC, what’s happening?” Lucifer demanded when Luke was safely away. He always needed to be in c̴͇̒o̴̯̊n̷̥̔t̴̯̆r̵̰̈́õ̴̼l̵̰̿.

“What’s going to happen to MC? How do we break the curse?” Asmo asked, voice rushed and shrill, d̸̮͐r̸̙̼͘á̵̢m̷͎͚̅ả̸̡̜ţ̷̮͛i̴̩̞̓ç̴̓ as always.

“Valago, what did you do to the nice human?” Mul sobbed which… was a little grating, but didn’t fill you with anger in the same way as the others.

“I can’t break curses! I can only cast them!” Valago’s voice sounded off in a way you couldn’t quite explain. His movements were too sudden, too jerky. “You’ll have to figure it out yourselves!”

Chaos broke out.

Solomon and Lucifer examined the curse on you, commenting to each other now and then. About how this seemed beyond a lesser demon’s ability. About possible curse-breaking techniques. Only b̸̭̭̲͒ō̶͔̋̃t̵͕̣͌̏h̶̙̝͍̃̄e̴̘̓̃̕r̷̡͕̈́̿i̶͈̦̟̒̔͛n̴̤̖͔̅g̵̠͈͆ to talk to you when they needed to know something.

Mammon and Satan threatened the little orange demon, cursing at it. Loud, angry, p̸̗̌ǒ̵̮ǐ̷͎n̷̡̓ť̶͔l̶̗̍e̸̬̿s̴̮͆s̴̢̓.

Diavolo’s loud voice sounded over everything, making it impossible to properly focus. Asmo’s was similarly hard to ignore, his melodramatic cries drowning out the rest of the room.

Levi, Beel, and Belphie were quieter, but you could still hear their low, anxious voices buzzing away.

“E̸͆ͅn̸̯̒o̴̢̕u̶̬͛g̸͕̃h̸̗̓.”

The brothers were sent to the ground at your word.

Power surged through you. F̸͔̰̩̪̎̂̿̓͌i̶͉̾̇͝ǹ̶̩͆̿à̷̩̿̅l̵̯͙̳͔̥̄̊̂̄͂l̶͍̤̇̄́̒y̷̨̳͈̑̓̒, a little quiet - their groaning in pain didn’t sound nearly so annoying as their panicking. Your chest eased. Your mind felt clearer.

The traces the curse left in its wake lit up through your chest, bringing a smile to your face.

You stood, already moving to walk away but Solomon gripped your wrist.

“Not that I don’t like my apprentice showing off now and again,” Solomon said, forcing lightness into his voice, “but what was that about?”

“I needed some quiet,” you said. You didn’t notice anything wrong with your words but Barbatos frowned and Diavolo looked between you and your fellow human with wide eyes.

“MC, I’m sorry,” Solomon continued. His voice was too soft, like he was talking to a child. “Please stay here until we break this curse.”

You considered it long enough for Solomon to relax a little.

But something within you whispered get them alone, whispered divide and conquer, whispered it'll be f̵͙͂u̵̩͆̄n̵̹̗͛.

And another part of you screamed get away before you hurt them.

“No.” You pulled your arm from Solomon’s grip.

Even with your control of the brothers, you weren't going to be a match for Solomon, Diavolo, and Barbatos. But you had one advantage over them all.

They never expected their precious human to act against them.

A bright light filled the room at your incantation - Solomon's hand grazed your sleeve, Mammon called your name, Lucifer cursed - but by the time they could all see again, you were long gone.

For a long moment, there was silence.

"Solomon and I will work on a way to break the curse," Diavolo took command. He could see some of the brothers still getting to their feet, Solomon still staring at his hand, and even Barbatos looked shaken. "I need you brothers to find them. You know them and the house best."

"One last thing..."

Everyone's attention was drawn to Valago. The little demon was on the floor, the magic it expended for the curse apparently too much for its body.

"You better break it before midnight. Or else you'll never get back your sweet little human."

Beelzebub

Beel was the first to find you.

It was mostly luck. He'd run right into the staircase and there you were, looking up and down like you were debating where to go. Black smoke surrounded you, distorting the features Beel normally loved.

"Be quiet," were the first words out of your mouth when Beel pushed through the door into the little staircase. The pact came into effect before he could call out to his brothers - but the command gave him just enough room to whisper your name.

You looked at him then, properly. Eyes always soft and filled with affection were instead hard and spiteful. You looked cold in all the places you were usually warm. Your outfit for tonight, which had looked so nice on you earlier, now made you look strange and alien.

Beel didn't know what to do.

He couldn't call out to his brothers. The pact choked away his voice whenever he tried.

He wasn't good with magic, like Satan or Lucifer or Solomon. He didn't have any idea of how to break the curse. He wouldn't know where to start.

And he didn't know what to say that would make you come back with him.

"Please." The pact dropped his voice to a whisper. "I'm sorry we were too loud."

"Beel."

"We'll be quieter," Beel promised. His voice picked up with his breathing, with his heart - he wanted to be loud, but the pact kept him quiet and he was afraid if he was loud it would just drive you away again.

"Beel."

"Or you can sit somewhere else. Or we can move." Beel couldn't control his breathing, couldn't control his words - saying the first things that came to mind, whatever might convince you not to run away again.

Beel wasn't a fool. He didn't think the issue was actually how loud they were, but it was all he could latch onto to get you to stay. If he couldn't bring you to the others, if you left again and he couldn't find you before midnight hit, if he lost you-

"Beel."

Finally Beel stopped. The pact even forced his breathing to be near-silent - which hurt when he was almost panting for breath.

Your expression looked... strange. Beel thought - Beel hoped - he could see some trace of your real self there. Some gentleness.

"You can't save me, Beel."

Beel’s heart stopped.

He somehow ended up smaller than you - he was on his knees, he realised belatedly.

Beel reached out for you and he was so, so thankful when you stepped forward enough for him to pull you closer, face pressed into your stomach.

“Breathe, Beel.”

The order freed his lungs, forced his throat to relax but that only made his silent sobs come through easier. He held you close to him like that would change anything, like at a word from you he wouldn’t turn around and leave, like he wouldn’t be forced to let you walk away.

“It’s not your fault, Beel.” Your hands ran through his hair and Beel shuddered at your touch. “I don’t mean to upset you. If this was something you had to fight, if I was scared and needed comforting, I would always want you by my side.”

“Order me to save you,” Beel whispered. You tugged on his hair - so soft, so gentle, guiding him to look up at you.

“I feel strange, Beel,” you murmured. One hand stayed in his hair, the other rested on his face. Your eyes were distant. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I… I want to hurt.”

“Please, MC.” Beel had felt the strength you gave him when you used the pact to help him. Even if he didn’t know much about curses - even if this curse confused Solomon of all people - if you ordered him to, he could…

“Beelzebub… calm down.”

A pact command.

“No, MC- ah-”

The order took hold.

Beel’s breathing slowed and evened out. His heart steadied. The tears in his eyes cleared.

“MC.” Beel knew he needed to reach you somehow. He knew but he no longer felt the need to.

Despite his now steady breathing, Beel felt like he was suffocating. Peace settled over him. He couldn’t fight against it.

“That’s better,” you said, tugging on his hair harder now. He grunted but followed, releasing you as you guided him to sit against the wall.

You gave his hair one last ruffle.

“I love you, Beelzebub. Do you love me?”

“Yes,” he answered honestly, no hesitation. Your eyes were empty. Your smile showed too many teeth.

Beel trusted you. He trusted you and that’s why he made a pact with you.

He never imagined you could ever do this.

He couldn’t even feel betrayed.

“You’ll still love me while I’m like this, right?”

“Yes.”

Beel’s voice held none of the emotion such a confession would normally draw from him. He knew he didn’t show his feelings a lot. He knew people found him scary because of that, thought his flat expression was all there was to Beel. But he’d never felt like that was all he was.

Until now.

You pressed a light kiss to his lips that Beel couldn’t return.

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

Beel watched you walk away.

He could feel nothing.

Asmo

“Ha! I knew it!”

Asmo walked right into his bathroom to find you soaking your feet in the tub, shoes laid down beside it.

“It’s where no one would expect to find you, right? But if you want a little peace, there’s nowhere better.”

“You and peaceful don’t exactly go together, Asmo.”

Asmo’s smile flagged, but he forced it back on. He knew he shouldn’t try and face you alone, but-

“Don’t call your brothers.”

Ah. Well.

Plan B.

“Want me all to yourself? I’m flattered.”

Asmo moved slowly, feeling oddly… uncomfortable with your gaze. He always wanted your eyes on him - he wanted you to see how beautiful he was, to pay attention to him, to love him.

Asmo didn’t feel very loved right now.

His shoes off, he sat across from you. The warm water helped relax him a bit - it felt normal in a way nothing else had since those little demons showed up.

Since he couldn’t call his brothers - and because your words still rung in his head - Asmo was quiet and just watched you, his expression contemplative.

You looked fine.

You weren’t hurt. You weren’t crying. If anything, you looked bored.

The black smoke still surrounded you. Was there less than before? Was that a good thing? Or did it mean the curse was further inside you now?

“Asmo?”

You spoke first. Asmo hid his relief with a smile.

“Do you love me?”

And the smile was gone again.

Asmo was scared of a lot of things. Or rather, he acted scared of a lot of things. It brought him attention, and sympathy, and comfort, and he was more than willing to face a few rolled eyes from his brothers if it meant he got to snuggle up to you.

But what he was actually afraid of was this.

Asmo knew about his reputation.

Asmo knew everyone thought he was flighty, shallow, that he was all lust and no love.

But you - you hadn’t ever judged him like that.

You let him cuddle up to you and never expected anything more - and sure, there were times where Asmo wouldn’t mind going further, but it was nice. It was nice to be held, to be cared for, to not be seen as a means to an end.

“Of course I love you! You mean everything to me!”

You were a lot closer - no, he was the one who’d moved. Standing in the tub, hands on either side of your hips on the edge, face close to yours.

Water soaked up to his knees. Lucky the tub wasn't filled very far, or else he'd have sent a wave onto the floor tiles as well.

Asmo breathed in the black smoke and choked.

You watched him cough, impassive.

“Do you though? Or do you love how I make you feel?”

Asmo swallowed. “What do you mean?”

“You can’t use your charm on me,” you explained. You reached up, playing with his curls. “Every bit of affection I give you. Every word, every touch. I choose to give it.”

“I know.” Asmo held your hand, pressing it against his face. “And I’m glad. I’m thankful every day that you choose me. That’s why I’ve got to help you now, right?”

Aside from the bubbling of the tub, there was quiet.

Please, Asmo wanted to say, please look at me properly. Please smile. Please hold me.

Please tell me you never thought I didn't love you.

Your hand slipped away from his.

You moved to lift your legs from the tub, but Asmo trapped you in - he didn't know what time it was but he knew midnight couldn't be more than an hour away, and it was better to have Satan and Lucifer working together with Solomon and the royals to break the curse than have them looking for you.

You sighed, blowing his hair to the side - your breath still smelled like the sweet, fruity drinks he and Barbatos had made for you.

"I'm leaving, Asmo. Do something else that's not bothering me. I don't know, take a bath."

Your voice held just enough of a command. His jacket was tossed to the side, hands moving to raise his sweater without his input - his breath hitched, but-

"Stop."

It was the most emotion Asmo had heard in your voice since he'd entered the room. Your eyes were wide, your hands reaching out to him - one made contact, lightly pulling his shirt back down and smoothing it out.

Asmo couldn't make out your expression past his watery eyes, but for a moment he could've sworn you'd looked horrified.

"...After I leave."

You swung your legs over the side, nearly slipping on the tiles in your sudden haste to get away - shoes collected, fabric once again covering your calves and ankles. As an afterthought, you turned on the bath taps again and tossed a pretty pink bath bomb in. It felt like an apology.

Asmo's tears only started, as you commanded, after you left.

Levi

Levi found you, of all places, in his room.

The fabric around your ankles was a little wet, your hair was mussed from the elegant styling Asmo had done for you.

But the most startling change was-

Levi! Finally, I've been waiting for ages!

-the annoyed expression you leveled at him.

"Stay right there. Don't try to contact your brothers or anyone else," you said, the pact taking hold. You were leaning against the fish tank, Henry 2.0 swimming to the opposite side to avoid you.

That, of all things, scared Levi the most - Henry 2.0 loved you almost as much as Levi did.

"M-MC, listen, we've got to, um... We've got to get back to the others. They can fix this."

You tilted your head, and suddenly Levi felt very, very uncomfortable. It reminded him of when he'd gotten you to try on all those glasses - at the end, when you looked down your nose at him, he'd been blushing, but now...

It didn't feel very nice anymore.

"Fix what, Leviachan?" The nickname was mocking. You walked over to him slowly, like a predator stalking its prey, and Levi wasn't sure if he wanted to run but your command took that option away.

"I thought you liked me like this."

Levi was forced against the wall, cheeks burning red. You had him trapped in a kabedon. Your sleeve brushed against his hair, your body heat was near-overwhelming.

It was what he'd dreamed of.

It wasn't right.

"I like every side of you, MC, but..." Levi wasn't good with words like some of his brothers. Under pressure, he defaulted to his favourite quotes from anime. He couldn't do that now, though. This was too important. You were too important. "I like my best friend the most."

Levi took a deep breath. It was difficult to meet your eyes but he did.

He did and he saw you wavering for a moment.

That cruel smile, that hard look in your eyes, both gone - you swayed back lightly, giving him more room to breathe.

"I said it earlier, didn't I?" Levi continued around the lump in his throat. Hesitantly, he rested one hand on your waist, not wanting you to feel trapped but trying to offer comfort.

"I'll save you from yourself if it's the last thing I do."

"Levi..." You looked scared. You looked scared and all Levi wanted to do was pull you closer. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, but if he could keep you calm... if he could bring you to the others or keep you here, where he knew someone would find you two eventually...

And then you were coughing, deep wrenching coughs that blew black smoke past your lips and had you stumbling back-

"MC!"

Levi rushed forward, trying to reach for you-

"Sit."

The order was quiet, hoarse. It must've hurt coming out of your throat.

Levi's body followed it anyway.

Fighting against it was futile, Levi knew. Levi knew but he tried anyway. If he could reach you, if he just get you to stay-

His body hurt. Losing you would hurt worse.

You moved past his hands, leaning against the door as you got your breath back, your little coughs and Levi’s heavy breathing the only sounds in the room. Your eyes were red, from tears or from coughing he wasn't sure.

Levi called your name when you opened the door - did you pause? Or was that just his imagination?

Whatever it was, it wasn't enough.

You walked away.

Satan

Satan ambushed you in the library.

“Very good, detective,” you said. Satan’s hands framed your face, pressing you against the bookshelf.

“I figured you might come here. It’s got some of the better hiding spots.” Satan examined you. He’d found Beel listless and still in the stairs to the attic. He’d led his younger brother down to Diavolo, hoping he could undo the pact command. Satan knew you must’ve done it.

Satan knew. But he couldn't quite believe you ever would.

You’d only ever used the pacts if they were in danger of destroying something or to protect yourself and his brothers.

“Just so we’re clear, I order you not to yell or try and contact anyone outside this room.”

“I figured.”

Satan hadn’t been planning on it.

If you were being so liberal with the pacts, he didn’t want you anywhere near his brothers.

He had to figure out what was going on.

Maybe it was self-flattery, but Satan believed you two understood each other. You saw through his attempts at keeping his wrath concealed and he saw through your attempts to hide when you were struggling.

And he could see you struggling now.

"Valago was quite vague with the curse," Satan explained. He shifted to allow you more breathing room, taking in every change in your expression. "Tell me what you feel."

"Are you a doctor now? We did watch that one medical drama-"

"Please."

You paused, the smoke in your eyes clearing for a moment to really look at him.

"...It's hard to describe." Your tone hadn't changed. It still lacked the warmth, the affection you normally held. But you were talking.

"You're all still very important to me." Satan's heart leapt. That was a start.

"But I like it when you hurt, now."

Satan nodded. He'd expected as much. "Has it been getting worse?"

"Yes." You turned to the library door now, eyebrows drawn together. "I didn't want to hurt Beel, but it was like I couldn't stop myself. It was probably the worst with Levi. I did want to hurt him."

What did you do to Levi? Satan didn't ask aloud, but made a note to check on his brother as soon as he figured this out. As soon as you were you again.

"Or not him, but... it's like I want to hurt. Until... until I'm satisfied."

"And using the pacts?"

"Why all the questions, detective?"

Satan grit his teeth. The teasing nickname had never sounded... well, mean. In all the time he'd known you, you'd joked, you'd argued back, you'd been genuinely furious when it came down to it - but you'd never been cruel.

"You're not as clever as you pretend to be, we both know it."

He said your name, too desperate - trying to reach you again, trying to stop you from slipping back into the curse - but the panic in his voice seemed to drive you on.

"All your curses are pranks at best. Lucifer and Solomon have the actual expertise. Diavolo has the sheer power."

"I'm the fastest learner," Satan said bluntly.

"All the book learning in the world won't change your opinion of yourself."

"And nothing you say will change that you're still trying to fight this off."

The two of you glared at each other. Satan's wrath wasn't bubbling up or threatening to spill over. He was furious at Valago. He hated the curse.

But nothing you said under the effects of this curse would ever change his love for you.

"What makes you so sure?"

With that, Satan laid out his most damning piece of evidence.

"If you really wanted to break me with your words, you know exactly what to say." He rested his forehead against yours, ignoring the way the black smoke scratched at his throat, brought stinging tears to his eyes. "You could compare me to Lucifer. Tell me I'm nothing on my own. Say I'll never be anything but an inferior copy of him."

Even now, the words hurt to say - hurt worse to imagine you saying them.

But you hadn't.

"You can't want to hurt me that badly."

For a moment, Satan felt triumphant. He could see the fury in your eyes - knew it was from the curse. Even the part of you that had been twisted up knew that he was right.

You leaned close, lips brushing against his ear.

Satan closed his eyes. He hadn't beaten the curse. But he'd found a chink in its armour, and maybe he'd have to be satisfied with that. The others would find him soon and he could share what he'd found out.

"Go read a story, detective."

"I'll see you again soon, love."

The pact command drew him to the fiction section, away from books on curses and hex-breaking.

So as the door open and shut behind you, Satan perused the shelves, looking for a human world fairy tale.

Something with a happy ending.

Belphie

Unlike his brothers, Belphie hadn't been actively searching for you - but for his brothers.

He'd seen what you did to Beel. Found Asmo crying in his bathroom, watched Mammon try and comfort Levi.

And in the brothers' group chat, Satan wasn't replying.

Beel and Levi were two of your first pacts, the ones you knew you could rely on. Asmo had never once hurt you like some of his brothers had. Like Belphie had.

Call Belphie a coward, but he wasn't ready to face you. If you were willing to hurt Beel, then who knew how far you'd go to hurt him?

Simeon had returned to join the search, and Barbatos and Diavolo were swapping out depending on which of them was more useful in interrogating the little demons.

Have one of them find you. They didn't have a pact with you, so you couldn't hurt them in the same way.

Instead Belphie was going to find Satan. Heading to the library was the best bet, right? Satan would probably end up there.

"Belphie, keep quiet and follow me."

Oh.

Belphie's body did as it was told.

Smoke still seemed to surround you. Belphie followed along behind, obediently, so he couldn't see your face. He didn't know what your expression was, what you were thinking. He didn't know how strong the curse's hold on you was, but seeing his brothers, it had to be strong.

If you were trying to hurt them, Belphie was an easy target.

You took him to the planetarium.

Whether it was the curse or simply his body on autopilot, Belphie rested his head in your lap. It was as comfortable as ever. But he didn’t feel like he was going to sleep.

Oddly, you looked more tired than he felt.

"Get it over with."

You tilted your head. Belphie bit back annoyance - this version of you didn't get to play cute.

"Say what you're gonna say and then get back to the others. I killed you." Belphie forced the words out. It was only the truth. "I deserve it. So get it over with and then we can get this fixed."

Belphie held your gaze for as long as he could. Tried to look strong, daring you to speak. He would take it. He would take it if it meant this cursed you could be satisfied with the pain you caused and he could get you back.

"Belphie..."

He didn't know what to do with gentle. With a soft touch to his hair.

"I can't deny I was... and am... upset about that." You grimaced at your own choice of words, Belphie enraptured by every change of expression, listening to every word. "But I... I understand why you did it. I can't imagine how you felt up there... I know you were in pain. That you'd been in pain for a long time. It doesn't make it right, or excuse it, but I... I don't hate you for it."

Belphie knew he was playing into your hands, knew he was being dumb, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help tearing up. You two had never really talked about it that deeply, and that was his fault mostly. Hearing you speak with such understanding was better than anything he could've imagined.

"How you acted after, though..."

There it was.

"You never gave me a chance to forgive you. To feel comfortable with you." Your voice didn't sound angry and that was so much worse. You just sounded sad. "It was like the very next day, nothing had ever happened, I... I felt like I was going crazy, because you acted like nothing was wrong. You just cuddled up to me like it was totally normal, like we were best friends, like you hadn't just-"

Your voice broke and Belphie sobbed. This wasn't right. Even with the curse this was all wrong.

You were supposed to be cruel. To be sadistic. To insult him, to call him every name under the sky, to tell him how much of a monster, how much of a demon he was.

You weren't supposed to cry.

"I'm sorry!" Belphie pleaded, trying to sit up but the gentle pressure of your hands kept him in place, trying to reach out but unsure if his touch would be welcomed.

"I tried so hard not to show it," you continued, ignoring his words. "I tried to keep calm. To let you hold me and not flinch away because it made you happy and it made Beel happy and I didn't want you to be mad-"

How long? Belphie's mind raced. Your shuddering form, your rushed out words. How long were you afraid? How many times were we together and I was happy and you were miserable?

How long were you scared of me for?

Belphie barely even remembered the curse. This felt too real, too honest, to be the result of some magic.

"I'm sorry..." Belphie trailed off as you did, tears on both your faces. Belphie was too afraid to try and brush yours away.

"Rest, Belphie." It was a weak command, but Belphie was in a weak state. Trying to fight against your order, working in tandem with his sin, was impossible. "You'll wake up when this is over."

The last thing Belphie heard was a hitch in your breath and footsteps echoing on tiles.

Lucifer

"It must be tiring."

You met Lucifer's eyes from where you sat - on a couch in the planetarium, Belphie's head on your lap, one hand stroking through his hair. It was a scene Lucifer had walked into many times before.

Belphie's tear-stained cheeks were wrong, though, as was your vacant expression. You didn't look quite cruel or vindictive.

You looked... empty.

That was what worried Lucifer. If there was any sort of liveliness in you at all, he could hope that you might be trying to fight off the curse.

But this...

"You've been overusing the pacts. That and whatever toll the curse is taking on you..."

Lucifer crouched down before you, brushing your hair back.

"Maybe Belphie had some effect on you, too."

"Are you going to drag me back to the dining hall, Lucifer?"

In your current state, you couldn't hope to command him. Lucifer could take you away right now - and he fully planned to.

“I want to talk to you first.” Your eyes met his. Old tear tracks marked your cheeks, bags visible under your eyes.

“We can talk after you’re rid of this curse. Solomon already has a few ideas.”

“I can’t order you.”

Lucifer nodded. His pride swelled in his chest. His strength allowed you to rely on him even when you weren’t fully yourself. The feeling was tainted though, by the damage already done.

Valago had brought up Halloween, the masks - how they’d frightened you, could’ve hurt you. Lucifer still regretted being unable to fight off the curse for your sake. You’d saved him and his brothers.

He would save you now.

“I can still order him, though.”

You tugged on Belphie’s hair, hard enough for him to whimper in his sleep. Your expression didn’t change - you still looked tired, bored almost.

Lucifer swallowed.

Lucifer could, if necessary, stop Belphegor from doing whatever you ordered him to.

But that didn’t mean Belphie wouldn’t get hurt. If Belphie fought, if Lucifer had to physically restrain him…

“I only have a few questions.”

Lucifer could only nod.

Lucifer was not naïve. He had seen you at your best and worst in the time you’d known each other. Your laughter. Your kindness. Your fierce determination to keep his brothers safe, even when it was from him.

Your frustration. Your annoyance. The times when you were unfair - when your love for them was momentarily blinded by your anger.

“Did you really love me?”

He had never thought of you as cruel.

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Just for something to do, he rested one hand on your knee. Moved his fingers in slow circles until the fabric rested smooth against your leg only to rumple it again and repeat. Lucifer did not normally fidget, not like some of his brothers, but this was not normal.

“Don’t dodge the question."

Another staring contest that ended with your grip tightening on Belphie and Lucifer's quiet resignation.

"It's not did. I do. I love you dearly. I have said it before and I will say it as many times as you desire. My feelings for you will not change."

Lucifer would say it, but saying it to this version of you felt wrong. Lucifer couldn't be sure if this was a true fear of yours or just something the curse caused you to question to hurt him.

He had to believe it was the latter. After all you'd been through, all he had said, Lucifer couldn't believe you didn't know.

"Then why don't you ever try?"

Lucifer knelt properly now - this conversation was going to take longer than he had hoped, and if he would kneel before anyone, it would be you - even this cursed, cruel creature that you had become.

"Explain."

You narrowed your eyes and Lucifer's body tensed, eyes flicking to Belphegor before he could stop himself - he hadn't had to hide himself in your presence for so long, it was hard to shake the habit of being open.

"If Solomon had never summoned me back to the Devildom... would we have ever seen each other again?"

"Of course." Lucifer answered on instinct. He couldn't imagine a world where he never saw you again. Where he let you go. Where his brothers let you go. But almost as soon as he said it, he second-guessed himself.

Lucifer would've wanted to. Even the time you had spent in the human world before Solomon had returned you was too long - Lucifer's patience was running thin, his self-control reaching his limits.

But there was one major obstacle to Lucifer actually going and finding you.

"Diavolo wouldn't have allowed it, right?"

Diavolo, of course, wouldn't have. Regardless of his personal feelings, Diavolo had to consider the peace between the realms - and kidnapping a human wouldn't work to that. Even if you said you allowed it, the Celestial Realm would have their doubts...

"How much have I done for you and your brothers, Lucifer?"

Lucifer couldn't begin to measure your impact. The way you'd helped his brothers become more confident, become happier. The way you'd healed cracks in their relationships that had existed centuries before your birth.

The way that you had reminded Lucifer that he needed to show his brothers he loved them, not just try and protect them.

"You didn't fight for me."

Lucifer said your name in a whisper.

"And you'll always be his pet before you are my love."

Lucifer bit back his temper. It wasn't you.

It wasn't you.

It couldn't be you. These couldn't be your words, set free by the curse - this couldn't be your true opinion, normally hidden behind your kind smile or your surface-level teasing.

Because if it was, Lucifer couldn't handle it.

"Or…”

There is a look in your eyes, a manic glee that reinvigorated you, made you look both more and less like the person Lucifer loved.

“Are you still following the rules of your father?”

Something cracked and Belphie stirred.

The arm of the couch -the wood hidden beneath the fabric - was splintered between his fingers. Lucifer slowly released his grip.

“I want you to know,” Lucifer said slowly, carefully, holding tight to his control, “I will not hold this against you. I cannot imagine what pain you are experiencing right now. What the curse is doing to you. My love for you is stronger than this.”

Your gaze flickered - or was that a trick of the light?

“Give me one thing, Lucifer. You owe me that.”

Lucifer bit back whatever he was about to say, mindful of Belphie still resting fitfully in your lap.

“Give me five minutes alone with Mammon.”

With his guard lowered and the curse lending you its power, the pact slipped through Lucifer’s defences.

“Five minutes,” he repeated. You could not physically hurt Mammon. And even with his guard lowered, Lucifer could not be ordered to harm his brother.

But Mammon had always been sensitive when it came to you.

Lucifer, in a moment of weakness, rested his head on your knee and tried not to think about the damage that had been done to his family - all seven of them - tonight.

Mammon

Mammon called your name, called Lucifer's name, ran through the house - a growing suspicion egging him on, fuelling his steps.

Mammon wasn’t an idiot.

Okay, he sort of was. Sometimes. On some things. He sucked at expressing his feelings, at Devildom History, and at planning out all the essays he had to write for RAD.

And he got himself into trouble constantly.

Mammon was okay with that. He had his strengths and he had his flaws and he had you, who accepted him for both.

He rounded a corner into the music room and saw you, Lucifer, and Belphie in the planetarium.

You looked up and smiled and for a moment Mammon thought, really thought, that Lucifer had broken the curse - that his big brother had fixed everything.

That hope faded when he met your eyes, the smoke filling them.

Lucifer paled and wordlessly picked up Belphie from your lap - their little brother barely stirred, but one hand clung to Lucifer’s chest in sleep.

Lucifer walked briskly past him, head lowered. Mammon turned to follow after him, torn between his brother’s strange behaviour and you.

“I’m sorry. I’ll come for you in five minutes. It’s not them.”

“Lucifer!”

His brother strained to pause his steps.

“Satan’s in the library.”

Lucifer nodded, and Mammon’s brother disappeared around the corner.

He didn’t hear you walk up behind him. Jumped when you held his hand.

“Come with me.”

The pact wasn’t in effect but Mammon didn’t even think about resisting.

As he walked behind you, Mammon tried to confirm his fears - looked for a mark on you, something that shouldn’t be there, something that would tell him he was right and this was all his-

Valago knew about the Halloween masks. He had too much power for the level of demon he was. His movements were uncontrolled, janky, like he wasn’t acting of his own free will.

And Satan - Satan had told him, told him what you’d said. That the curse was looking to be satisfied. That there might be a target.

Mammon counted down the seconds. Two minutes passed in the time it took you to guide him to his own room, settle down on his couch, and meet his eyes.

Three minutes left. He could do this.

“I finally have you to myself, Mammon.”

“Shouldn’t I be saying that?” Mammon tried to joke back. Tried to keep calm. This curse wasn’t gonna… it wasn’t gonna physically hurt you, even if it drained your energy. And Mammon could handle whatever it was you dished out to him. And then five minutes would be up and Lucifer would find you and they would fix this.

“Why do you look so worried, Mammon?” You leaned against him. The smoke made his eyes water but your warmth was more important and he couldn’t help but pull you closer. Brushing his hands against your shoulders, pulling fabric gently to the side, trying to find what he was afraid would be there.

"Listen, MC," Mammon rested his forehead against yours, meeting your eyes. Mammon knew you - for better or for worse, you two had been thrown together and aside from your time in the human world, rarely split apart. He hated that it was so hard for him to read you now.

"We're gonna fix this, alright? I'm yer- I'm your first man." The words felt a little hollow. The promise too fragile.

But it was one Mammon had to keep.

"My first man."

Your voice sounded gentle, your expression softened - and Mammon knew that look. Had seen it when you pushed an extra serving over to Beel, when you simply watched Satan instead of listening to him read, the look he sometimes glimpsed if he turned towards you fast enough on movie nights.

Mammon was stupid, because he hoped.

"You haven't exactly lived up to that title."

His brothers called him a masochist, but Mammon would never ask for this pain.

"Lucifer saved me from Leviathan and Satan." Before Levi wanted all of your time, before Satan looked at you with gentleness.

"Diavolo and Solomon saved me from Lucifer." You put yourself between Lucifer and the kid and his baby brother without thinking about it.

"No one saved me from Belphie."

Fingers sticky with blood, the way your bones shifted as he held you closer, your eyes closing and you felt cold cold cold cold cold-

Lucifer walking by him in the music room. It's not them.

Mammon swallowed thickly.

"MC, I... I know I messed up before. You've always been good to me." Always been kind to him. Always been patient with him. Always let him hide behind you or take comfort in you.

"You gotta give me a chance to return the favour."

You looked at him and he saw doubt which cut deeper than any words could've. You teased him. You joked with him. But you believed in him and Mammon needed that, needed someone who helped him study instead of mocking his efforts, needed someone who stayed up with him while he thought up ideas for a collaboration with Majolish, needed someone to pick him up when he fell without him owing you more than a dessert at Madame Scream's.

Mammon needed you.

"You gotta believe me-"

"Believe you? You can't even be honest with your feelings."

And that frustration - that heated anger under the cold malice - felt real and Mammon's heart clenched. Maybe you were pissed at him but at least it was you.

"I'll be as honest as you want." Without even thinking, contact between you far too natural, Mammon tugged you closer, one sleeve slipping down your shoulder. "I'll tell ya I love you every hour. Every day. Just come with me and let Solomon and Lucifer fix this."

"It's weird, Mammon," you whispered and Mammon held your arms tighter, pulled you closer. "The curse wasn't like this with the others."

Your neckline slipped down further, a black mark on your chest.

"It wants you."

A witch's mark. One that Mammon knew all too well.

The witch’s note in the mask box. Pay back double what you owe, or I'll treat you to an even nastier surprise.

Valago knew about the masks. A demon like that couldn't cast a curse that would cause any trouble for Lucifer or Solomon - but a powerful enough witch could lend their power.

This was Mammon's fault.

Mammon could see it - the curse and the use of the pacts taking its toll on your body. Your skin had lost some of its shine, your body swaying lightly in his grasp. Your breathing was shallow and it was all his fault.

The realisation finally made tears spill from his eyes.

The curse had been fulfilled, you had hurt him, and now it had no more use for you.

Mammon caught you as you collapsed. The black smoke hid your features, but he was sure he glimpsed an expression of pure pain.

The witch was right. This was worse.

Twenty minutes to midnight.

Lucifer didn't even get halfway up the stairs before Mammon returned to the waiting guests, holding you in his arms. Your head rested against his shoulder. Parts of your hair were wet with his tears.

Lucifer didn't ask. He wanted to. He wanted to know what his brother had been through, he wanted to know what words had spilled from your mouth, he wanted to make a plan on how to mend the damage that had been done tonight.

But Mammon shook his head and merely handed over your limp body.

Lucifer held you tightly and turned to Solomon.

They could break the curse.

Lucifer just hoped it hadn't broken you and his brothers first.

#obey me angst #angst

1K notes · View notes

simps-loudly · 4 years ago

Note

Ah, thank you for the reply. ^^ I understand. (Spoilers up til lesson 16 I think?)

I was thinking about all the times the brothers had hurt MC in the beginning, and I kind of was like "What if Solomon casted a spell so the brothers would see through MC's eyes, feel their emotions at that moment of when they threatened/attacked MC?" Beel's rage over the custard, Belphie's attack, Levi in the quiz contest, possibly Satan if I recall correctly and the several incidents with Lucifer. Sometimes I feel like they pretend it never happened, which makes me super salty.

Brothers Experience MC’s Worst Memories of Them

A/N: this is a super interesting request! Obviously it was toughest for Mammon and Asmo, our two 'least murder' boys, but I tried to give them something too. I hope you enjoy it!

Content warning: spoilers for like… all of season 1. Mentions of violence, blood, and death.

-----

Solomon hummed as he stirred the pot - a potion, thankfully, and not any attempt at a meal. You’d decided to observe him to see if you could figure out if there was any fundamental flaw to his cooking techniques that would explain... everything.

“So, what is this again?” you asked.

“Something Diavolo asked me to whip up,” he said as he poured something lime green into the mixture. “Humans and demons often have different perspectives, so it’s supposed to help bridge that gap. Give a demon a more human experience. Actually, I wanted to ask you a favour.”

“Hm?”

“Since my experiences as a human aren’t exactly... typical... I was hoping I could borrow a hair?”

You shrugged and allowed it, perhaps a bit too used to Solomon’s strange requests.

It was only later, when your demons collapsed to the floor and trembled after being volunteered as guinea pigs, that Solomon realised his error.

“Diavolo requested something that would share human experiences of fear and pain, too...” he murmured, scanning over his notes, trying to figure out the cause. “I might have made it a bit too strong.”

“What exactly are they experiencing?” you snapped, placing Belphie’s pillow under his head as he whimpered. You tended to the brothers as best you could, but they didn’t wake.

“Your worst memories. Specifically, when it comes to them.”

Mammon

Mammon looked into his own eyes with confusion.

He recognised the setting instantly - your room.

What did Solomon’s stupid potion do?

He looked around and saw pizza on the floor, Beel shutting the door behind him, and your laptop paused on an episode of TSL.

Finally he looked at himself - or rather, yourself.

...What the hell did Solomon’s stupid potion do?

Your wrist was loosely wrapped in a bandage and his other self, his past self, muttered curses as he wound it tighter.

Fuck, what was this giddy feeling? He wasn’t Asmo, Mammon didn’t get off to himself that kinda way.

Was this... was this your emotion?

Giddy, bubbly, like the beginnings of a...

Mammon had felt like this back then, too. He hadn't thought that you might actually-

“...Listen. The next time your life’s in danger, I’m gonna be the one to save you, alright?”

The feeling soared - a rush of affection that left Mammon’s head floating, and while he didn’t remember you smiling like an idiot during this moment he certainly felt like he was.

Mammon was gonna need more of this potion. Seeing himself through your eyes, feeling like this, Mammon just... He could really believe he had a chance.

Better than a chance. Mammon was gonna get you alone as soon as he woke up.

“...And if I can’t manage to save ya, then make sure you die, got it?!”

The feeling faltered, sputtered, and Mammon tried to chase it. Tried to get it back, tried to fill up a chest suddenly feeling hollow, a raw and painful disappointment digging its claws in.

“It’s me or no one, understand?”

You questioned why in a voice that sounded a lot smaller in your own ears than what he’d heard and he snapped that it was his job, and Mammon... Mammon hadn’t meant to sound so harsh back then, Mammon hadn’t meant to say it so loudly.

That was the clearest memory.

Mammon slipped into others - different times, different places, the only thing consistent was him, his stupid mouth, and the heavy feeling in your chest.

So many moments Mammon hadn’t thought twice about. So many times he’d tried to dodge the truth. So much wasted potential, your happiness constantly stolen from you by his stupid mouth.

Mammon hadn’t meant to. He always just... He got embarrassed by that sorta stuff, and he’d never thought that you might like him back. Not that way.

Mammon didn’t want to fuck up the one good thing that’d happened to him in centuries. The one person other than his brothers he could get close to. So he’d tried not to change things.

As the memories went on, the they’re just a puny humans and the how’d I get stuck on babysitting duty’s went on, the pain in his, in your, chest stayed the same. But Mammon felt less and less of the feeling before it, the care, the way you looked into his eyes and your heart fluttered.

Was it because the flashes of memory were getting faster, lingering less on each one?

Or was it because that feeling was fading away?

Mammon couldn’t tell the difference between his pain and yours.

You deserved, fuck, you deserved so much better than a demon who couldn’t be honest with you, than a demon who hurt you like this, you deserved better than Mammon.

Mammon woke up with tears blurring his vision.

You called his name and when he met your eyes all he could see was the pain he’d caused you, the heartache, the slow washing away of your hope.

“I love ya.��

“Mammon, what-”

“I love ya, I love you, I do,” Mammon babbled, reaching out for you and collapsing into your arms when you offered them to him, still, despite everything.

“I love you, MC, I always have, I’m an idiot, I’m sorry, please believe me…”

Mammon didn’t care about Solomon and Simeon watching this scene with wide eyes.

All that mattered was that you knew the truth.

Mammon would never deny you that again.

Levi

This might actually be Levi’s worst nightmare come to life.

Suddenly, he's seeing himself through your eyes. Worse, he can feel what you feel.

Worse worse, it's during the TSL quiz. Before all the gaming nights, and the anime marathons, and the conventions, and the concerts, and-

Levi was stuck for a moment, unsure whose feelings were whose - if the panic, disgust, and embarrassment he felt were his or yours.

But your feelings felt foreign. Softer, kinder.

You weren't annoyed by his long-winded answers.

You weren't grossed out by his otaku ramblings.

You were surprised, almost... impressed?

Levi's self-esteem rose to levels it hadn't seen since he'd been a general in the Celestial Realm.

You also felt a little guilty... Was it because your questions were way easier? Levi wouldn't hold that against you, you were just a TSL initiate right now!

Levi only wished he'd gotten close to you sooner. He would do anything to have seen your face the first time you'd watched the TSL movies! How come stupid Mammon and Beel got to! Levi would've appreciated it more!

Oh, it would’ve been amazing! Levi would make sure that you weren’t interrupted by any of his brothers, of course you would watch the extended editions. You’d be so absorbed with the movies, Levi could look at you without worrying!

And maybe you'd be so focused he could feed you some popcorn and-

No! Too high level!

Levi was so lost in his fantasy he almost missed you pulling out your secret weapon.

Ah, right.

“I won’t stand for this!”

Levi had let his envy get out of hand.

“All you did was stay up late one night marathoning the DVDs!”

You hadn’t disliked him before you made the pact, or at least you hadn’t hated him…

“The idea that someone like YOU could actually be a bigger TSL fan than me, it’s…”

Past Levi was going to change that now.

Mammon called for him - weird, Levi didn’t remember that.

Your heart hammered in your chest, the sudden appearance of Levi’s horns and tail sending adrenaline running through you.

“No… no, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!”

You cried out for Mammon, stumbled, fell backwards as Levi ran at you.

You hit the floor all wrong. Sharp pain made you and Levi hiss, your wrist collapsing under your weight.

The pain and fear left you shaking on the floor with a demon towering over you.

Ha. Even a pathetic shut-in like Levi could look scary to a fragile human…

Lucifer intervened but your eyes never left Levi. Fear pulsed through you, tears blurred your vision… it had all happened so fast, Levi felt dizzy. Or was that from you, too?

Humans were so delicate, even Levi had known that, so why did he...

Levi was left dazed. It took you calling his name several times before he realised he was awake.

He opened his mouth, ready to let his usual self-loathing comments slip out - how he was a gross otaku, worthless scum not worth your time, an awful demon who didn't deserve a pact with you - but only a choked off whimper came out, so he hid his face in his hands instead.

Fingers brushed against his hair and Levi tried to make himself smaller, half-expecting pain to follow. It was only what he did to you

You weren't like that though. The touch stayed gentle and Levi shook underneath it.

Was it okay for him to be happy with this, even if he didn't deserve it?

Beel

Beel hadn’t been listening, so it was a shock to suddenly be thrust into a body that was much... smaller.

He hadn’t had to look up at Mammon this much since he was a child! And why was he in the kitchen at the House of Lamentation? Wasn’t he just at the Demon Lord’s Castle? Why was Mammon whispering and creeping about? Why did Mammon call him MC- oh.

Looking down at himself he saw your hands, but lacking some of the marks and scars you’d earned in your time in the Devildom.

More importantly, where your shirt rode up, Beel could see your stomach - and a distinct lack of his pact mark.

Despite starting to put the pieces together, the sight still panicked Beel - he tried to reach out for your bond and only calmed down when he felt it, reassured your connection was still there.

In fact, it was stronger than ever.

He could feel your fatigue, almost like how he felt Belphie. He could feel your annoyance at Mammon, tempered by affection.

And then, Beel tasted - tasted delicious custard, his favourite flavour bursting across your tongue.

Delicious, but… did that mean…?

Beel - you - froze when Beelzebub walked in.

Beel knew he was tall, knew others had to crane their necks to look up at him, but he’d never truly appreciated what that meant until now. In your body, feeling your heart rate pick up and your adrenaline spike as the other Beel towered over you with a dangerous expression.

“Did you actually eat my custard? Answer me, Mammon!”

His voice boomed in your fragile human ears. Was Beel always this loud? Was he always this intimidating?

You’d always treated him so gently. Beel loved that about you, loved how he felt like something precious in your arms.

Beel could barely hear Mammon’s stuttered explanations over the sound of your heartbeat. Beel knew people got scared of him. He was big, his face didn’t show much expression, and everyone thought he was one empty stomach away from making them his next meal.

You’d seen past that, you’d gotten to know him; Beel, not the dumb jock or the Avatar of Gluttony, but Beel, the sixth-born, the protector.

Beel felt bad about how he’d treated you at first but he hadn’t realised… he didn’t think about…

You were a fragile human and the Avatar of Gluttony was in your face, crowding over you, stomach rumbling and teeth showing.

Beel hadn't realised how badly he'd frightened you.

You closed your eyes and Beel could tell from your senses that you were on the ground - you weren’t hurt, he hadn’t pushed you, you were just staying low and out of the way as kitchen appliances and dishes crashed and broke.

Beel felt arms around him - around you. Mammon, Mammon there to calm you down and keep you safe.

At the time, Beel had been angry with his brother. Now he wanted to thank Mammon. Mammon had protected you before Beel had even thought to.

A final, overwhelming bang filled the air, the sound of something collapsing in, and Beel knew the wall of your room was gone.

The last thing he felt was a sob choking its way out of your throat.

Beel woke up to your hands running through his hair, looking down at him with gentle eyes - a stark contrast to the position he’d just experienced.

Beel put his hand over yours and squeezed.

“I’m sorry.”

You sighed and shifted his head onto your lap, leaning over to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“I know, Beel, I know.”

Asmo

In truth, Asmo was a little excited!

Naturally he noticed he was in your body right away - Asmo had made it his mission to memorise all the details of whatever you would show him, and he was quite familiar with your hands.

It took him a little longer to identify the time - you were in the Demon Lord's Castle, and he could see himself and Simeon. Your eyes were on him - of course! - and he was posing, but not for you.

For a... oh, he remembered that statue!

This was the retreat!

You were watching him with amusement, a bit of affection (he'd like a bit more, but this was still early days, he'd forgive you) and... annoyance?

What?

The argument with Satan and the others happened, the other Asmo stormed off, and you followed after. Asmo got a rare view of his back from another's perspective, but he was much more concerned with the emotions he could feel through you.

Nervousness, he could understand - after all, you were clearly looking for a private conversation with him!

But why anger? He'd just been having some fun...

And why fear?

Asmo considered it as you began your conversation with the past him. He knew now that this had been for Belphie, so maybe you feared for his sake? The thought still weighed on him a bit, but Asmo knew your intentions were nothing but good.

If anything, it was kind of sweet how far you were willing to go for his family...

Asmo's attention was drawn back to the present - the past - by a bolt of fear.

Your body was now pressed up against a cool pillar, the sudden change in temperature forcing a shiver down your spine.

The past Asmo was leaning over you and... Asmo was confused. His face was as flawless as ever, his hair was perfectly curled, and yet...

...What was with his expression?

"I was trying to charm you. You know, like I did with down in the labyrinth. You saw how I tamed Levi's old pet snake, right?"

Asmo could hear a hint of frustration in past him's tone that made you squirm. He couldn't blame you. Normally he'd be happy to be so close to another person, but Asmo was suddenly very, very aware of how fragile you were.

"You're just a human. Yet, for some weird reason, it seems like my power doesn't work on you."

Asmo tried to argue with his past self. You weren't just a human, you were his darling MC! Unfortunately, your lips seemed sealed shut.

"Even so, if you think you can control me, well you've got another thing coming!"

Asmo knew he could be mean. Obviously! He was a demon, after all! Still, he didn't... he hadn't thought about you that way in so long, he'd forgotten you weren't always so close.

Your voice, which had sounded fine from Asmo's memory, trembled in your own ears. Maybe he just hadn't been paying enough attention to you in the past?

"Me? Make a pact with you? Hahaha!"

Asmo's tone was cutting, mocking, searching for any crack in the bravery it took for you to follow a demon off to some unknown part of the castle.

Your confidence wilted as he continued to mock you, the current Asmo trying to process what was happening.

How could he ever have treated you so thoughtlessly?

How could he ever have missed how precious you were?

How did you feel about him now?

Asmo woke with his eyes already searching for you, throwing himself towards you as soon as he heard your voice.

Asmo showered you in compliments even as you tried to calm him down, desperation creeping into his tone.

He was wrong, MC! Asmo would never tear you down like that again!

Please don’t hate him!

Satan

Satan had always regretted his actions on the day he asked you to make a pact with him.

At the time, he hadn’t considered your feelings at all. His thoughts were centred on annoying Lucifer, and you were a convenient means to that. And when you, a mere human, refused him, the fourth born, the Avatar of Wrath…

Satan knew he was wrong. His wrath had flared up with you as the target. But you had forgiven him, helped him, and as time passed and your relationship continued to blossom, Satan could almost forget how your relationship started.

At first, experiencing it through your eyes was alright.

Satan felt your sympathy for him when he spoke about his origins - your emotions flowed through him as strongly as his own, and it jarred him to look into his own eyes and feel the overwhelming urge to reach out.

The depth of your emotion, your kindness to him when he had admitted to wanting to use you… Satan let himself feel it all, hoping this experience could help him understand you.

He watched himself speak, the offer of a pact on his tongue, and even while he felt your confusion he cringed at his past self.

You were infinitely more than just a tool to use against Lucifer. He had to have been blind not to see it at the time.

Satan breathed in your determination, your hope, your love as you rejected his offer of a pact. He knew the worst was still to come but he just couldn’t help and enjoy understanding this part of you.

Truly, you were a remarkable human.

And then…

Satan watched his anger mount. Fear was not something he was totally unused to, but it was different, in a human.

He felt how fast your heart rate picked up, the foreign urge to run sending signals to his legs he couldn’t follow, trapped in your body.

“But I will make you suffer if you cross me, and it will be much more cruel and much less humane than anything my brothers would ever do.”

Satan had said all that… with such a smile upon his face?

How could he have ever, ever threatened you so calmly? If any demon spoke to you like that now, Satan would tear them apart.

“I’ll slice of your nose and ears, rip off your arms and legs, and feed you to the lower-level demons!”

No no no, he wouldn’t, he would never!

Your fear raced through him and Satan didn’t know how to process it.

Never in his life had he felt so helpless. Helpless against the demon before him. As the intensity of your fear increased Satan struggled to remain an observer, barely recognising himself as the past Satan approached you.

Satan’s back was against the wall, the Avatar of Wrath looming over him, and he couldn’t calm his breathing down. If things kept going like this, he would- you would- Satan needed to get you away from here, away from those bright green eyes and snarling mouth, but your legs wouldn’t move.

“Listen well, human, if you dare say you won’t make a pact with me again, you’ll pay for it with your…”

His heart beat out of your chest, his breathing sped up, and Satan couldn’t find where his fears began and yours ended.

Satan understood now. All this time, he’d been competing for your affection.

But he’d destroyed any chance he had before he’d even gotten off the starting block, hadn’t he?

How could you ever forget this? This desire to run, to get away - his whole being thrummed with it.

His more demonic instincts insisted he deal with the threat before him. The blond, green eyed demon that threatened you, the monster out of your nightmares.

The sheer relief upon Lucifer’s arrival made Satan unsteady. In trying to hurt Lucifer, Satan had set him up to play the hero for you.

At least you were out of danger. The Satan from the past backed away with a huff and a sneer.

Satan knew what came next - the book, the body swap, your quiet understanding and encouragement.

How much of that affection was real? How much was masking your fear?

When Satan came back to himself, to the present, to his brothers, some recovering, some still caught in the spell-

Satan met your eyes and he tried to back away, but his legs still trembled from fear and he stumbled, inelegantly falling back and landing hard against a table.

Apology after apology spilled from his lips, Mammon and Asmo both looking at Satan with understanding but what did they know? They’d never almost killed you.

Satan squeezed his eyes shut when you reach out, not sure what he expected. His heartbeat still pounding in his ear screamed a hit, a hit, but Satan knew you wouldn’t.

He breathed out when you caressed his cheek, the other hand drawing him closer to you.

Satan trembled in your grip, but held you tight. He would do anything to make sure you never felt that fear again, from him or from anyone else.

Lucifer

Lucifer was quick to understand the situation - and quick to swear revenge on Solomon.

Lucifer wondered what memory it would be, though.

Almost certainly his confrontation with you, Beel, and Luke, a source of shame he’d rather not return to.

However, Lucifer could manage that. Diavolo had intervened before anyone had been harmed.

If not that, then surely the dance? He’d actually hurt you in that instance - though you were certainly intelligent enough to know he wouldn’t try anything serious so publicly.

Lucifer wasn’t expecting to be in the library.

Lucifer couldn't follow along with the conversation.

Lucifer tried to remember anything like this happening.

“You went up those stairs, didn’t you? You knew you weren’t allowed to, but you did it anyway? You went up there and… and you met Belphegor?”

This hadn’t happened. Was this a nightmare of yours? Lucifer discovering you had met with Belphie before… before that time?

“Do you really find it so amusing to poke your nose into our business at every opportunity? Do you enjoy stirring up trouble that much?”

His demon form spread its wings.

Lucifer had experienced every imaginable emotion in his long life.

From a human, though, those feelings were intensified.

You were truly helpless against him without the pact - and your racing heart, your quick breathing, the lump blocking his throat were all foreign to him.

This felt real, but how? How could this have happened?

“You, a mere human? YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT!”

Power pulsed from this nightmarish version of himself, pain lighting up your nerves just from your proximity.

Lucifer grit his teeth - or you grit yours - and tried to back away, muscles locking and working against you.

A cold feeling spread across your body. You truly believed you would die here.

Damn it, this wasn’t a dream.

But it wasn’t him.

The other timeline.

Lucifer shared your feeling of relief when his brothers intervened, Mammon putting himself between you and Avatar of Pride.

Lucifer had hoped this would calm the other him down but it didn't, your relief giving way when you see that Lucifer seemed to barely acknowledge Mammon or Asmo.

And then Beel, Beel who’d overheard the conversation, Beel furious at what Lucifer had done, Beel who got between you and Lucifer and demanded answers that Lucifer would never have been willing to give.

Your heart dropped as Beel was sent across the library, crashing into bookshelves and splintering wood.

Lucifer heard his brothers cry out. Beel’s groan of pain, Levi’s concern, Asmo’s protest.

It was you who checked on Beel, knelt beside him and turned his head towards you and wiped splinters from his face.

This, at least, was unfortunately familiar to Lucifer.

Why did you have to defend his family from him?

“QUIET!”

Your gaze once more fell on Lucifer. Fear and determination ran through you in equal measure. Was this what you felt in Lilith’s tomb? Was this what you felt when you went up to the attic despite his threats? When he crushed your hand in that dance?

Mammon, Asmo, and Levi stood between that Lucifer and the two of you. Satan moved to flank.

Even through his fear and yours, Lucifer could feel proud of his brothers, of you. Looking out for each other, protecting each other, even if it had to be from him.

“All of you get out of here right this-”

Lucifer woke as the library door opened.

Despite no longer being in your body, Lucifer’s breathing was still too fast - he forced himself to calm down, only taking in his surroundings when he was certain he was back in control.

His brothers were mostly conscious, but exhausted. You tended to Satan. Solomon was bothering Mammon.

You called out to him when you noticed he was awake, and Lucifer opened his mouth but found himself unsure what to say.

You only gave a soft smile of understanding.

Lucifer winced - you must be well aware of what he’d just seen and almost certainly didn’t want to discuss it.

Lucifer had hoped you could feel safe with him, safe in his home and confident that he would protect you.

There were so many possible options for your worst memories of him. So many times he’d threatened to kill you and almost seriously injured you and he had truly hoped you could feel safe with him.

Lucifer ran a hand through his hair, resigned. At least you could rely on his brothers.

A pressure on his shoulder had him focused on you again, his hand rising to meet yours on instinct.

There were no words, only your soft smile. Reassuring him that you saw past the monster he was.

Belphie

No.

No no no no no no no no

Belphie knew what was coming.

As soon as he realised where he was - in your body, opening the attic door for the first time - he knew what was going to happen.

This didn’t make sense. You shouldn’t remember this. This happened to the other you, the one that disappeared in Mammon’s arms.

Please, please tell me this is a dream.

Belphie could feel your adrenaline, your confusion, but also your hope. He couldn’t read your thoughts right now, but he could feel the way your heart leapt as the door opened easily in your grasp. Could feel your lips open in a smile as you approached him.

Just run. Just leave me there and run. Lock the door behind you. Get Lucifer. Anything. Anything but this please.

Belphie watched as his own eyes fluttered open and met yours, drowsiness fading to confusion moving to alertness as his past self took in the sight of you.

Please no. This wasn’t right. You shouldn’t even remember this, wasn’t it the other MC? No, no please don’t remember this.

Belphie watched himself smile and laugh as he realised he’d been freed. You smiled too, but Belphie could feel the seed of doubt in the pit of your stomach. It was the only thing that matched what Belphie was feeling now - sick.

“Now I can finally achieve what I set out to do.”

Belphie tried everything he could. Every trick he’d learned to change a bad dream, every way he could think of to get himself to wake up. He tried focusing on the feeling of your body and taking control, tried to make you run away.

Instead, you opened your arms to the wretched demon in front of you.

For a moment, Belphie hoped. Hoped that despite all the similarities this was just a bad dream of yours, that you didn’t really remember experiencing his greatest sin.

But the pain quickly dashed any hope of this being a human’s nightmare.

“You’re so stupid that I can’t help but laugh. Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it.”

Don’t talk to MC like that, you bastard. You… how could I…

Belphie couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t breathe. Belphie felt your lungs burn, your breaths choked away, your heart desperately trying to pump oxygen through your body.

“If you die, the exchange program will be ruined, and Diavolo’s reputation will be in tatters.”

Who cares! You were more important than some stupid grudge!

Belphie could feel, along with your physical pain, the betrayal that brought tears to your eyes - or was that the lack of oxygen?

Under the betrayal though, was disappointment.

Belphie had pieced together parts of the story before now, but disappointment meant-

They knew I hated humans. They knew I might lash out. Maybe they didn’t know I would do this, but they still knew I was dangerous.

Belphie wasn’t sure if the pain he was feeling in his heart was yours or his.

They helped me even though they knew I couldn’t be trusted.

“I have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this… why, it’s so much fun that I can barely stand it! I… I can’t contain my laughter!”

Your vision was getting fuzzy, but Belphie could see what you saw. A monster. A cruel, hateful demon. Your murderer, in all his disgusting detail.

Your body shook with Belphie’s laughter, sending jolts of pain everywhere. Your bruised ribs, your crushed throat, your head that felt like it might burst.

Belphie felt the tug of sleep, but it wasn’t like he was used to.

There wasn’t any peace. Just a pain in your head, a fuzziness over everything.

The other Belphie’s laughter faded. Your body started going numb.

Please, please no, don’t die, please no no no, he didn’t want to feel you die, you deserved better than this.

Belphie felt your senses fade one by one. He felt your heart stutter, stutter, stop. Your lungs finally gave up on the breaths that weren’t getting through.

Please please please he’s sorry, he was so so stupid, he knew better, please, please don’t leave him-

A voice called out - barely heard, achingly familiar, a glimpse of a figure surrounded by light-

Belphie woke up to a familiar pillow - your lap.

Belphie scrambled back, head smacking against a table leg - you reached out but all Belphie could see was hands reaching for his neck and he whined, phantom pain lancing through his throat.

From around the room, his brothers looked on. Belphie couldn’t bear to meet their eyes. His bond with Beel spoke of empathy. Belphie didn’t think the rest of his brothers would be so generous.

Instead of reaching for him again, you rested a hand on his calf, gently rubbing circles with your thumb. You spoke to him slowly, soothingly, like he was a scared child and not your murderer.

Belphie wanted to hug you, but… but no, no he couldn’t.

So instead he reached back and gripped onto your sleeve, sobbing, apologies barely intelligible, not caring how pathetic he looked.

Belphie sobbed until you directed Beel to pick him up.

It wasn’t right. How could you try to take care of him? He should be kept as far away from you as possible. How can you look at him? Did you somehow forget?

Did you really forgive him?

From Beel’s arms, he can hear you tearing one into Solomon.

Belphie doesn’t understand you at all.

#op how dare you make me almost cry #obey me #angst

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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Diavolo: But Lucifer, aren't you dating Mc-

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Satan and Belphegor are merciless mocking machines. Mammon and Beel wouldn't know good flirting or tact if it smacked them in the face for trying to get one of their numbers. Asmo winks a lot when he knows you have a secret. And yesterday Levi nudged me and made a ribald joke about an anime with the longest title I've ever heard of before . I refuse to let my brothers know about my relationship. Everyone needs a mental safe safe and Mc is mine. So with all do respect, My Lord, zip it.

#id love that sm pls

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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Obey Me! things that I just know are true

In no particular order:

belphie watched death note and purposefully fell asleep halfway up the stairs exactly how light did at the end using the excuse that he falls asleep anywhere, but really he just wanted to be extra

satan's room is filled with cockroaches

beel can't take selfies for shit

I mentioned this in the discord server but I'm repeating it here: satan and belphie salute mc every time they return to the human world as respect for their service in the anti-lucifer league

asmo steals more of mc's things than mammon does

lucifer cries when he's alone

simeon and luke were too afraid to tell solomon that his cooking was bad in the beginning. it wasn't until they saw the others react badly that they finally started refusing to eat his food

luke picks flowers for mc

levi has a mild form of compulsive tendencies, especially when it comes to things in his room, such as having all his games in a specific order and his action figures in perfect place, he gets really frustrated when he can't put his new poster on the wall straight. that's why he gets so angry when mammon takes things from his room, it disrupts his comfort

asmo is the brother that sees one of his brothers ddd unattended and takes selfies with it, then puts it back and leaves the room pretending he didn't do anything. he's always waiting for someone to mention it one day now that he has tonnes of random selfies in all of his brothers phones

lucifer has one of the said selfies set as asmo's profile in his ddd

one of the characters writes tsl fanfic and simeon has read it. surprisingly, it wasn't levi who wrote it

one time in the human world, mc and luke started playing with some random dog but the dog wasn't friendly and started chasing them through the park for hours

there is actually one cat that still wanders around the house of lamentation and nobody knows about it, not even satan

one time, diavolo pissed off barbs so barbs mashed up a pickle and put it in dia's food and he unknowingly ate it

another time, dia was upset with barbs and purposely left cheese around the castle to attract rats

cerberus' farts are stinky af but lucifer absolutely will not tolerate anyone badmouthing cerberus even if it's true. to this day, no one has said it out loud

levi and satan recreated the "this bitch is empty YEET" vine at rad. the empty can ended up hitting lucifer

mammon is actually a good cook, everyone just thinks he's bad because he's clumsy and causes disasters every time he's in the kitchen. when he doesn't set the pan on fire tho, his food tastes really good

beel and belphie can genuinely hold two conversations at once: the one they're having with each other in their heads and the one they're having with everyone else in the room

solomon very rarely gets angry, but when he does his voice goes high-pitched so no one can take him seriously when he yells

levi has too many plushies and cushions from buying merch so whenever his room gets too full, he ranks them all and gives the lowest ranking ones to belphie

mc introduces monopoly to the house of lamentation. obviously it doesn't end well, but to this day the game still hasn't been banned

one time at rad, a tonne of things, including students belongings, went missing and everyone blamed mammon. it was actually a ghost messing around because it wanted attention

simeon practises talking to others in the mirror. luke is the only one who knows about it

life in the devildom was hard for lucifer in the beginning, but he would still square up to any mf who was mean to his brothers

belphie loved to cuddle lucifer when he was younger because of his wings. sometimes now, when belphie falls asleep on his shoulder, luci will release his demon form and cuddle belphie with his wings

mammon once plucked a feather from luci's wings to sell, but he ended up keeping it for himself bc he finds a lot of comfort in it

barbatos is lactose intolerant

asmo hosts pamper parties quite often and each time it comes around dia is waiting excitedly for an invite but he never gets one

asmodeus is also quite terrible with technology other than his ddd

diavolo still doesn't know how babies are made because barbs was too awkward to tell him when he was younger, so he ends up asking mc and they end up telling him

lucifer has intrusive thoughts about ferris wheels

and lastly, satan has bad eyesight but never wears his glasses, not because he's embarrassed but because lucifer once told him to put them on

#headcanons

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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“Unwanted”

Replace Mammon AU Chapter 3

Previous Chapter

Summary: There’s a new demon in town and very quickly they became popular. Popular enough for the Student Council to become curious of the newcomer. They all quickly became friends, but for some reason Mammon has a strange feeling about this newcomer. Little by little his brothers started to hang out with him more and more. When Mammon saw there reaction together he felt a strange feeling in his gut it wasn’t pleasant at the least.

Character: Mammon, Simeon, Solomon and Luke (mention of Lucifer and brothers)

Relationship: Mammon and the Prudgery Hall

Warning: angst and drinking kinda

Notes: I hope yall enjoy this. My hand hurt.

Keep reading

#this is absolutely beautiful and i wanna cry help #angst #obey me mammon

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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Crossposted on my AO3! Here it is <3

What It Feels Like To Be Loved

Ship: Diavolo/Lucifer/Barbatos

- Fluff - More fluff - Just generally very soft, even if there are some tears. They're all love though <3

The warm night of the Devildom currently felt like a heavy, stifling blanket on the oldest demon brother's shoulders. He sat, slumped over his paperwork at the table and sighed heavily before rubbing his dry eyes. Lucifer threw his head back to move his neck around. Some joints cracked satisfyingly and he sighed yet again, silence falling over his office.

Night was the only time of the day the House of Lamentation was quiet.

The past two weeks turned out to be more rough than… in quite a long while. His brothers felt more mischievous and devious than normal, and the time with his lovers had been cut short. Meaning, he hadn't seen either Lord Diavolo or Barbatos anywhere but in brief passing in RAD's hallways or in meetings which were always kept brief and professional before sending everyone away to do their jobs again.

To put it frankly, Lucifer was tired.

Very tired, even. Looking down at his papers, the words blurred together which was a clear sign for him to finally wrap up for the night. Right as Lucifer stood up, his DDD pinged, making him sigh. Who could be so persistent as to text him at that time?

“Hello, love. Do you have a minute?”

Diavolo.

“Good evening. What is it you wish to talk to me about?” Lucifer replied, a small smile forming on his face that he would never let anybody see or ever admit to making. Despite how formal his messages always sounded, his lovers both understood that that was the only way he could communicate well.

“Oh, nothing overly demanding, I assure you. Barb and I have been noticing how tired you have been. Would it be okay for us to summon you? We promise that it is nothing work-related. Just us three.”

The red-eyed demon’s finger lingers over the keyboard. Should he agree? Should he decline? He really hated letting other people see him in a state he currently was in - it was just his prideful nature. However, it felt like an all too tempting opportunity, so with that he began typing away.

“I agree.”

* * *

Appearing in Diavolo’s castle became normal and very much welcome for Lucifer at this point. It was his safe place, somewhere, even if it was very formal, where there was a place for him in which he was loved and cared for. His pride got in the way quite often, but both Diavolo and Barbatos understood. They always did.

So, as soon as Lucifer sent the last message, he had been summoned to the Lord's castle. The entrance hall was bright in contrast to the dark outside and in Lucifer's dim office, so he closed his eyes for a second, adjusting to the light. He much preferred darkness - it gave him a sense of calm.

Before him stood both of his lovers - one with a barely contained happy smile, fiery personality basically rolling off of him in waves, his vitiligo visible and so, so beautiful in the orange light, and the other a more calming presence, with a small, but brighter than usual smile adorning his facial features, which were framed by his green-tipped hair.

"Welcome back, love," Diavolo breathed out happily, his smile becoming even warmer if that was even possible. That alone made the prideful demon before him smile too.

"Hello. I…" he hesitated, before mumbling, "I must say that I quite missed the both of you."

At that, Diavolo let out a delighted, soft laugh, Barbatos chuckling along. Diavolo walked up closer to Lucifer, opening his arms for a hug.

"Come here, my Morning Star."

Lucifer obliged, carefully accepting the warm embrace.

"And you come here too, Barbatos," said the Prince with a soft smile.

The butler nodded shortly, approaching both of them, who had opened their arms for their third lover and accepting him into their collective hug.

Lucifer leaned into the two demons, absentmindedly rubbing his face against Diavolo's shoulder and Barbatos' top of his head (due to their different heights). The soft and familiar scents of his two beloved people calmed the tired firstborn down, his eyelids already drooping. That would've made him startle in any other circumstance - hell, he probably wouldn't have even accepted that long of a hug from anybody - but this moment was comfort and, most of all, familiarity.

"Hey," Diavolo mumbled softly, petting Lucifer's hair, "Both of us have prepared something for you. So, please don't fall asleep just yet." He chuckled, Barbatos joining him.

"Come with us, dear." Barbatos stepped out of the hug and took Lucifer's hand, Diavolo staying at his other side and squeezing his hand too. So, Lucifer let himself be led away towards the prince's quarters.

The lights in the spacious room were dimmed down. Big chairs with burgundy red cushions in front of a fireplace, a gigantic bed with the same colored bed sheets, bookshelves lining the walls - all furniture out of dark wood and so, so familiar to Lucifer. Even the smell of the burning wood and cinnamon, the scent that always lingered on the prince, were not persistent but rather welcoming and homely.

The two demons led their tired lover to a side bathroom with one of the biggest bathtubs Lucifer had ever seen. It wasn't even a bathtub - it was more like a mini pool, and, to be fair, it was quite a good decision considering how much space the demon forms of the three could take up. The tub was filled with rose-scented water, bubbles atop, and steam coming off of it. It was clear it was held up by magic and none of them could have it any other way.

Lucifer, up until then wordlessly led around, quietly mumbled with a chuckle, "Haven't seen this kind of view in a long time." That made his lovers chuckle too.

"We couldn't help but see how exhausted you seemed lately. Consider this… a thank you for your hard work. And a gift from us," Barbatos said earnestly, letting go of his hand and wrapping an arm around the raven-haired demon's waist.

Lucifer could feel tears welling up in his eyes and blinked them away as fast as he could. He really didn't want to let his feelings show.

"I… really appreciate this. Thank you." It took him a lot of strength to admit that, his pride getting in the way as always. Diavolo leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his temple.

"Nothing to thank us for. You mean a lot to both of us, even if we don't say it enough. And we know you feel the same. You always assure us of such through all of your work. And little gestures. And every Good Morning. And Goodnight. And just by being you." The prince accentuated every reason with kisses all over Lucifer's face and his hands on the other's waist.

The eldest brother had to turn away at that. Not that he wanted to, he just… couldn't not. It didn't feel right to him that he would get all that attention, all that love and care. And the two demons understood his struggle. Barbatos wrapped his arms around Lucifer's waist.

For a few moments, they all stood like that in silence, the soft light pink-yellowish lights around them comforting to the eye.

"Let us take care of you, Lucifer," Diavolo finally broke the silence. Lucifer nodded slightly.

Diavolo and Barbatos stepped away, only for the butler to take off Lucifer's fur-lined coat and for the prince to unbutton his red vest. They were meticulous and careful, folding his clothes on a bench nearby to collect later. As Diavolo was about to help the other with his dress shirt, Lucifer put a hand over the other's. With a nod, he assured the other wordlessly that he'll be able to get out of the clothes himself. None of them really needed words, having known each other that long. So, Lucifer undressed himself, the two remaining demons doing so as well.

Having gotten rid of their outfits, they could finally let out their demon forms in peace. Not that they couldn't earlier, with the clothes, of course - it was just easier this way. They all let out a collective sigh, chuckling at how they exhaled in unison.

Every time, getting into the huge tub was infinitely easier than into any other shower - Diavolo's and Lucifer's wings were huge and Barbatos's tail was quite long and not always easy to weild. Lucifer was the first one to sit down on the underwater seat, having been pushed carefully towards the tub by his lovers. His wings shuddered a little at the feeling of water on their tips and, with a sigh, he closed his eyes.

Behind him, Barbatos kneeled on the tiled floor with a vial full of ointment for their horns, which was always kept in the bathroom. Taking care of those was quite necessary, but due to having had so much to do, Lucifer had no time for it - and it showed, the surface of his horns dry and, in some places, even flakey. The butler smiled to himself softly and took a small brush from beside himself, starting to clean Lucifer's horns gently. The demon inhaled sharply but then sighed in defeat. His lovers were the only two to ever be allowed to touch his precious horns and wings.

Speaking of wings, Diavolo sat on his left side, softly brushing at the other's wings with his fingers. He plucked away any old and loose feathers, his touches measured and gentle so as to not hurt. Drowsiness took over Lucifer, only to have been awoken by a soft kiss to his horn from Barbatos.

"We're almost done, love." And, true to his word, the ointment had almost been applied and the prince moved to the wings on his right side to give them the same treatment as before.

Barbatos sunk into the water next to him, petting his hair. The former archangel gazed into the water, unable to look at either of the two. He still felt guilty, even after millenia of living together - love and care was not something he thought he deserved, but these particular demons did their best to assure him. He didn't even notice tears streak his cheeks, until Diavolo had leaned in and kissed them away.

"You are doing so well, my Morning Star. We are so, so proud of you."

"You are safe here."

The tears continued, a small sob escaping Lucifer. Two pairs of arms wrapped themselves around him, silent, but not uncomfortable. A big leathery wing and a scaled two-tipped tail were added into the mix as well, his own feathery wings fluttering slightly above the water.

After a while, the sobs subsided gradually, silence once again taking over the inside of the room. The water didn't get any colder, if anything, it felt like it was warmer now. Whether it was more magic or just the way he felt inside, Lucifer didn't know - however, it didn't even matter. The only thing that mattered to him then and there were the two bodies pressed to him from both sides.

"I'll help you wash your hair," whispered Barbatos, reaching over to yet another vial next to the tub, pouring some of the soap onto his palm and rubbing it before applying to Lucifer's hair. The latter groaned softly. It made Diavolo chuckle.

Before Lucifer could ask anything, the prince dove under the water only to surface back again, shaking his hair and sending droplets flying like a wet dog shaking off after a rain. He was smiling brightly, which in turn made the other two smile as well.

After they all washed up and dried themselves off, they all got dressed in matching differently colored robes. They didn't even need to leave their demon forms, the robes accommodating themselves with magic. Diavolo's bed could easily fit them all with their horns and wings and tail, so they easily laid down together. Lucifer and Diavolo folded their wings so they could all lay by each other, the Avatar of Pride in the middle again. So, they all fell asleep tangled up in each other. It felt right, it felt calm, it felt…

...like home.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me oneshot #omswd #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #note: can say i'm pretty proud of this ngl dsfdfabk <3

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

Note

u can take this as a req or jus general chatter whichever u like ha but i was wonderin if u have any hcs abt lil inhuman or monster-y traits the obeyme characters might have,, so like fangs/claws, weird instincts n habits, OR LIKE for example i keep birds so i like to imagine characters like luci n mammon might make this soft little clicking sound (bird version of purring sdjsdj) without realising prob literally whenever mc is in the same room as them,,, n e who i jus love weird inhuman monster-y hcs & would love to know ur thoughts this is a free license to b as weird as possible 🙏🙏🖤🖤 hope ur day has been lovely, and if not hope ur evening is at least & sending you good vibes for tomorrow ^•ω•^ฅ<3

Hii lovely🖤 sorry I took a while with this one ! but here we are. Love monster and demon traits sm haha I'm glad you sent this (though did hold back a bit with the answer -_-). (Also that example is so cute?? Didn't knew birds did that so I'm c':)

Anyhow! For you especially but any monster-lover too~

Demon traits and habits~

Ok so to start I wanna put up here that the game is lying to us and I headcanon the demons spend most of their time in their demon forms. And that they have FULL demon forms and we in game just see a more humanoid version. But yeah, if anything, they'd be just like with their 'demon look', as also hc that being constantly in human form is kinda energy-taxing and feels unnatural for them.

Then, onto the hcs~

Lucifer

· I'd like to think that Lucifer is so impressive looking because he is the only demon with feathered wings! It's a trait exclusive to angels, but his are unlike them anyway with being black and all. And until his fall, no one had ever seen a demon with such a trait (and they are also very imposing on their own!).

· And I'd also like to say his feathers would have some iridescense to go with the peacock theme but then, I'd rather settle for thinking they are of the purest black in color, like nothing us humans have ever seen before and anybody would be in awe of them. If you found one of his stray feathers lying around you'll know on a instinct level that it's not from an animal!

· He's very fussy about them ofc, and you'll never catch him preening when there's people around. But if he's alone and absent minded Lucifer will preen and pick at his feathers, this last one more so is he's stressed.

· Also he has the habit of shaking his wings a bit to dust them off but hates himself if he ever does it in public. Wings so big it kinda ellicits this reaction from people around him

· Only if he loves you he will let you anywhere near those majestic wings, but then...one of this most honest acts of love and vulnerability is allowing you to touch them and help him preen. Either that or also fusses with your hair a bit by trying to fix any stray strand in an attempt at helping you preen. Weirdo. But yeah bird keeping knowledge comes in handy(?)

· Lucifer headbutts to show affection. It's not like he'll be super aware of it or he'll come up to you and bonk you with his head. But often Lucifer is tired and feeling some kind of way, sees you and just. can't help resting his head on yours, or lightly touches the side of your head with his horn and you know love is real<3 and feels much like a honor... (and nobody could catch him dead but he does this to Mammon the most)

Mammon

· Has incredible eyesight but it in the end of the day it all just boils down to the Mammon curse(?) as I like to call it, which means that yeah it's a pretty useful trait but he's also bound to like stop on his tracks to collect shinies. Anything it is, every. time. He's so pissed when the shiny in question turns out to be just a beer cap BUT then, Mammon sometimes brings you an actual gold wedding band or a single diamond earring and you'll be like 'Who did you rob...?' and he just found it on the park or something.

· His claws are bird like of course and very sharp and curved, basically made for grabbing stuff!

He has to be real careful with not gouging mc's eyes, with how sudden his movements are and what not. Mams is very used to humans luckily but yeah these claws are a bit of a danger.

Imagine taking him to the human realm and getting some drinks from a vending machine but he keeps accidentally piercing through the cans and making a fool of himself...

They are cute though and he always has some sort of manicure done on them, especially foil thingies or metallic polish

· And ok yeah it's rather strange to catch him, but sometimes he's unaware and in a rush and so Mammon does that little fast walk birds do?

· His wings are leathery and don't look very fragile in comparison to Asmo's, for example). And when he's excited they'd flutter stupidly :3c but also! When you sit together he makes sure you're always sort of inside his wings? Like they are sort of covering your back? Because protective~

Leviathan

· His tail definitely sheds on the regular, but it gets difficult to when he's stressed. Also Levi gets super itchy in this case which only makes it worse.

So naturally he spends a lot more time in water in general. Levi doesn't like being touched when shedding but if he loves you then he would really appreciate the intention, and you're more than welcome to hang out by the side of the tub !

· I think we all agree that he's not touchy feely, but I headcanon Levi IS coldblooded (as the more fish-like or reptile-like demons) and so he seeks warmth constantly.

And he knew humans were very warm -although not as much as most demons) but the moment he confirmed this by hugging you he doesn't wanna let go. He wouldn't really seek it and it's very embarrassing to him, but yeah at the end of the day Levi is really looking forward to cuddles because you're like a portable heater.

· He has many many teeth and all very pointy, and a looong and forked black tongue. This is embarrassing too but he absentmindedly plays with his tongue a lot, i.e he's eating cherries and he'll tie the stems and cue to a very surprised sheep asking HOW :o but it's nothing to him.

If you asked, Levi would reluctantly comply and hold a pencil with it or do some trick, only because you said he's the only one of the brothers with this talent.

· And since we're talking about tongues. Absolutely does the :P when he's focused, only his tongue also flicks? Mostly because he senses the air this way and unconsciously regains some awareness of the space around him while he's not paying attention to it.

Satan

· Like Lucifer!! Gentle headbutts (because I see him and see goat horns <3) but he'll do this in a more conscious way than his dad... Whenever Satan sees you his reaction oscilates wildly between a normal and civile 'hello mc :-)' and just bumping you in the head. It's also a most high honor as he only does this to his closest ones (aka, favorite brothers -Asmo- and wouldn't even admit to it)

· Though he's a lot more loose with this particular display of affection when tired or drunk. Once he got too comfortable around Solomon during a group project for class and headbutted him PURELY on accident ofc because he was very tired(?) and now Solomon is convinced Satan is begging for a pact.

· His horns are very coarse, sharp and prone to flaking. But he would love if you took the effort to learn about demon anatomy and wanted to pet and treat his. Both because it's very lovely that you took such an interest on him that you're doing research now, but also it just feels incredibly Nice. Otherwise Asmodeus nags him until he lets him help.

· And so by this reason, the flaking, he is always scratching them against every surface when no one is looking, it's almost compulsive to Satan.

I'd compare the sensation to rubbing your itchy eyes once and then you can't stop?

Imagine him pushing a horn on a random wall and Mammon passes by and sees him and now he's a target.

· And about his tail! It very rarely isn't wrapped around his leg. He's also very controlled with it and so it rarely knocks things over on accident or the like. This changes a bit when mc is around because if you two are close, it will wrap itself around your calf for a change :')

· Bites at random in privacy, it's kind of scary because demon teeth are sharp!! But yeah you can be smoothing his hair and he'll bite your arm on impulse like a cat and pretend it didn't happen at all because it's regular demon behavior and stronger in ones than others.

Asmodeus

· Demon pheromones and allomones!!! (which are like pheromones but they affect other species instead of their own I think. so, humans). He secretes these and so smells delicious to everyone<3 but also they are just there to lower a human/demon inhibitions and so he can prey on them.

So basically Asmo will forget he's a predator and cuddle you all the time, but naturally you'll start to feel very giddy, comfy and :3c right away and don't really know why because he didn't bother explaining.

It's super nice if you're stressed though!

· Also if you're close enough he is scenting you all the time by rubbing his face on you like a clingy cat!!

· Ironic and a bit uncomfortable but Asmodeus' teeth and especially fangs are very sharp. And he finds lots of comfort in biting into things like,, it just feels good to him.

He thinks it's kinda weird and could be off putting but noone (aside his brothers) has complained so far so??

On another note, if you let him VERY gently I remark very gently nibble on you he'd be so happy, heart eyes! But yeah careful or he can bite a chunk off on accident -_-

· Bat wings. They look leathery yes but I believe they are like that of a bat. Very silky soft and almost see through (but being a demon, incredibly resistant too). They are not super sensitive as the skin is thin, but the spot where they grow from is!

Also he's always so graceful but STILL manages to be a bit clumsy with them. Asmo would be flaunting them about only to knock an expensive vase or similar stuff...quite often.

Beelzebub

· Originally read it on this post so now I'm obsessed with the idea that his wings just buzz all the time and he can't really help it, and also the buzzing intensifies when he's excited so c": you just have to live with it~

· And Beel is kind of like a bee (a BEEl..) in the sense that pretty obviously he needs his sugar to perform regular tasks and if he's not getting his dose of sweets or just food he just kinda bumbles around kind of lost and complaining, buzzing very lightly, until he becomes downright annoying. So you'll be Loved if you kept a snack with you at all times, even if it isn't much. Beel values the gesture!

· Much like flies and Levi, he needs some warmth to function comfortably. This is easy because he's pretty active and so never really gets cold, but yeah, Beel has the tendecy to lean into you or Belphie who is pretty warm too often and without even noticing because of this (and one of the reasons he likes the kitchen so much, besides the obvious being food haha).

· Beel has crazy good reflexes.

So much that there's this game going on at at HoL when Lucifer isn't around that is randomly hurling hard foods (entire melons, pumpkins, idk) at Beel and watching him chomp on them like a lion without failing even once?? And the first time you witness this you're very concerned obviously because!! Don't want him to get hurt!! But this is just like catching popcorn to him...

· Gross according to who(?) but voted most likely to lick you very casually out of nowhere?? As display of affection all familiar, platonic, romantic. Along with gentle biting too but yeah, sometimes it's just a distracted :p to your arm and still gets you every time cuz who does that. (Not v demonic but imagine....)

· Also needless to say he drools a lot and we all know this. He's doing anything and oops I- here have a napkin.

Belphegor

· Okay he swats stuff with his tail at random like he's an annoying cat. He can't help it, it's beyond him. There's a tally of how many glasses/plates each brother has broken and Belphie is at the top.

And talking of tails, he also uses it to trips people who are just walking. Again, second nature because he is annoying. And of course the cute alternative, grabbing your ankle a bit when he's distracted (this is also limited to his closest ones ofc, -just Beel and mc generally-).

· Itchy horns gang! The Anti Lucifer League should just rename itself that way.

· His issues is more on the surrounding area to the horns than on themselves but it's a pain too, and much like Satan it feels good to get scritches !! He's a brat so will just demand them 😖

· And just like Asmo, he secretes pheromones and allomones that make one sleepy! It isn't all magic hah, but yeah you wouldn't realize its effects until it's too late.

They can knock Anybody out. Even if you are a relentless insomiac, 15 minutes cuddling Belphie is enough to send you off to dreams~

He is sloth personified for a reason, right?

· Belphie has larger(?) peripheral vision than anybody else here for no real reason (cow). It's kinda unsettling because he knows when you want to sneak on him and it's nearly impossible to get him; luckily he's way past caring about that and just lets you tackle hug him from behind if that's what you really want 🙄

Diavolo

· He's a furnace. I think I mentioned it somewhere before but firmly believe his body temp is way higher than even the average demon and skin to skin contact with a human is uncomfortable to the human in question.....make of that what you will.

· Diavolo purrs when he's comfortable but it's a demon purr, so more like a rumble from deep on his chest that if you laid your head on it, would feel similar to putting your head on the window of the bus during a ride(?)

And also kind of does the 'mrrp??' sound when surprised >_< we're nearing big catboy territory with this one. But it's okay.

· He does not realize how big he is compared to humans at all and the sheep is always at risk of being crushed. Even a handshake has you sweating. Diavolo tries so hard but still it's kinda difficult for him.

Needless to mention all the times he went to give you a kiss on the cheek (idk if this is the norm everywhere but where I live we greet like this!) and knocks you unconscious with his huge horns! Ok maybe not unconscious but Lucifer has to make you sit down for a second.

· And does this thing on which if he's having a quiet moment with whoever he is at the moment (mc, Lucifer, Barbatos...Levi even...) he will put his hand on their face for no reason and not even in a cute way just. hand on face. Again, catlike behavior. (I see Belphie doing this too...)

· His huge wings don't flail a lot when excited but definitely perk up and shake a bit when a person he likes enters the room. It's very noticeable because otherwise they are very controlled and limited in their movements !

Barbatos

· Vampire vampire vampi

· Like Asmo he has very notorious and sharp fangs and a cute forked and blue tongue, which also I saw on this post first and now can't get out of my head.

· And Barbatos seems to have a bat theme going on anyway so I think he has more vampire-like habits than most demons. I'll let you choose if he sleeps hanging down or not -_-

· I also like to the idea that he has soft wings that look like Asmo's or Mammon's but he never shows them...so yeah. And bat claws :3c

· And we know demons eat humans, and if asked what his favorite food is Barbatos wouldn't admit to it but he does have a taste for human blood he rarely indulges anyway</3 what's on that teacup...

· Rarely fools around but would touch your shoulder with his tail and make you look to the other side and act like he didn't do it? When he passes you by and it's sweet.

· Voted Second most likely to lick you out of nowhere only if you're extremely close though. You'll think he's leaning in for a regular kiss and he just goes :p (but as with snakes, there's always a chance you get nibbled on too...)

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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Lucifer acts like a broody hen when drunk.

He will do anything they want, even things he wouldn’t normally even consider. They will all be bathed, groomed, kept comfy and fed until they are full, no matter how late it is. He will gather all of his brothers into his bed (nest) and lie on top of them, blanketing them all in his wings, and sing them to sleep.

He has also been known to baby Diavolo when drunk, such as wiping his face, checking his hair for nits, and following him home to make sure he returns safely.

He doesn’t remember any of this. He just knows (thinks that) his brothers will take advantage of him and/or will take embarrassing photos of him. The brothers, Dia and Barb are all very careful to make sure he doesn’t realise he does this, so he doesn’t stop all together out of embarrassment. They all secretly adore broody Lucifer.

(He always feels better the mornings after being broody. He thinks it is the alcohol. He is actually happy because he took care of his brothers, which he always wants to do.)

Okay this is like really cursed but also kinda really wholesome??

Like no one has the heart to tell him because they all really like seeing how soft and caring Lucifer is at the end of a really tired and stressful day when they've all been really hard on him.

It proves to them that no matter what, even if he is intoxicated, deep down he still loves and cares for them.

On a wholw other note though, don't bring this man out drinking he will baby everyone in the club if you're not careful.

#obey me lucifer

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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finally made a finished piece oh goodness

anyways mammon my beloved this is a mammon appreciation zone yes yes <3

him with mullet, scruff and piercings,,,,, not in game but effervescent,,,,,,,,,

#hello this is from my main!!!#will try my best to post more there #own reblog

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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Alright Obey Me! hcs time

What tattoos the brothers would probably get

Lucifer

Something simple but elegant, matching his personality (in his eyes). He wouldn't be particularly thrilled about getting it, but would not be opposed to such. A stylized peacock feather for his animal familiar on his upper left arm and a shooting star right where his throat ends and his collarbones begin, as a tribute to his old name.

Mammon

Being the avatar of greed, he'd be getting a lot of tattoos. Not all of them would have meaning, like a trickle of coins on his shin or a race car somewhere on his thigh. He would have a crow feather on his neck for his familiars and many other small ones. But one that would stand out in particular would be a lock and key on his right wrist: a sign of his greediness and a wish to lock everything that belongs to him away.

Leviathan

Most definitely something anime-related. Ruri-chan's hat could be one of them. However, considering his past 'job', a spear and/or trident in the middle of his back would make sense too and would give him confidence that he can still be seen as the fearless commander he was before. And a few scale outlines. For coolness.

Satan

You know he's gonna get the outlines of a cat, probably on his arm. Only outlines because he wouldn't like a detailed picture of it on him, even if he loves the creatures to death. His reputation is important. Though due to excessive reading, he would also tattoo his favorite lines on himself - wrapped either around his wrist or ankle. It's as if his knowledge is forever embedded in him.

Asmodeus

Elegance is key - roses, vines, little hearts, all on one side of his torso like an exquisite framing for his already beautiful body. It would be a rather big piece, starting under his left nipple and ending at the beginning of his left hip. A small tramp stamp of his own wings would be something he'd get as well - a sign of self-love.

Beelzebub

Would be the type of person to either have no tattoos or cover an entire arm in them. So, his left arm would be adorned with a vague/shape picture of Lilith - a tribute to his dead, but still beloved sister as well as a pair of Belphegor's horns on the inside of his wrist as an even bigger show of the connection to his twin.

Belphegor

Definitely would have Beelzebub's horns as well, just mirrored, thus on the inside of his right wrist. Else he would get a closed flower on his left shoulder blade and an open on the right, symbolising the cycle of falling asleep and waking up, dying and being reborn again. The guilt of killing MC still lingers in the back of his mind.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me hcs #obey me headcanons #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon

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simps-loudly · 4 years ago

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I come bearing a request! The Brothers with an MC who's really good at cooking and baking? Like, the stuff food blogs dream of. Master-level instagram pastries. Could compete with the chocolate guy if they put their mind to it.

👀 ooooo, I do love me some pastries-

(I know you have an *ahem* distaste for Lucifer, dear moot, so enjoy Lucifer acting like a bit of a dingus in his section!)

Lucifer

Oh, the human can cook. *insert asshole eyeroll here*. Great. Wonderful. Groundbreaking. That’s what’s got all his brothers acting like- what was that word Levi used? Simps? This human has turned six of the seven rulers of hell into a bunch of simps.

Sure, the human has near godlike cooking prowess. Sure, everyone looks forward to their day for cooking. And sure, everyone thinks the human’s pretty great.

Tsk, not him though. He’s a refined demon. Some silly food isn’t going to make him a lovesick fool… did he smell eclairs..?

Lucifer peered into the kitchen to see MC carefully taking a tray of eclairs out of the oven and letting them cool off on the counter. His favourite dessert… right there in front of him…

Due to not being a total moron, MC notices Lucifer and asks him what the hell he’s doing just standing ominously in the doorway. Lucifer makes up some bullshit excuse about reminding MC to do their homework and just leaves. Okay, game plan, he needs those fucking eclairs or he will spontaneously combust.

As he snuck into the kitchen that night, Lucifer took a moment to briefly wonder why he was creeping around his own house. He was the Avatar of Pride for pity’s sake! He could eat whatever he damn well pleased! Oh shit was someone coming- no? Okay, back to sneaking.

Lucifer crept into the kitchen, saw the eclairs, and all logic was thrown out the window. Time to eat!

“BEEL NO! NOT THE- Lucifer..?” “…” “…” “…you’re very talented, MC, do you mind making more of these?”

SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE! THIS IS THE CLOSEST LUCIFER HAS GOTTEN TO BEGGING IN THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS!

Mammon

Ugh, stuck babysittin’ some dumb human, how lame…

As Mammon was throwing a “I’m broke and I’m stuck in a pact with a dumb human” pity party, the most heavenly smell entered his nostrils. Cooking… good cooking… was Barbatos visiting or somethin’? Nah, Lucifer woulda made a big fuss about gettin’ ready for Lord Diavolo. Huh, so what was goin’ on in the kitchen?

Huh? The human? The human can cook? Well damn, maybe this whole deal wouldn’t be so bad. Oi! MC! As payment for babysittin’ ‘em, he got to have an extra big share of- OW!

Did- did the human just hit him with a spoon?! Th-they can’t do that!

Apparently they fucking can. Mammon gets told to sit the fuck down and wait for the food like everyone else. He grumbles on the way to the dining room, but he can’t fully hide his excitement to try the food.

The food even looked pretty! How did they do that?! Magic. It had to be!

After everyone’s tastebuds were blessed with the heavenly substance that is MC’s culinary exploits, Mammon decides he needs to get on this human’s good side in order to receive more food! Maybe even find some way to make a profit or somethin’!

After weeks go by of trying to suck up to the human without looking like too much of a chump, Mammon eventually realizes… hey, this human ain’t so bad. They’re nice, they make him feel good about himself, they give him headpats… he’s really hit the jackpot here!

He’ll offer to help MC bake or cook, but beware, he will try and sample the food before it’s done. Don’t let him lick the spoon!!!

Leviathan

First thought? This human ain’t shit. Thought after seeing their food? WOAAAAAAAH! JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME-

He was unceremoniously cut off by Beel asking demanding seconds. Humph, fine, he doesn’t actually care about this dumb normie food anyway.

…well at least until Levi saw a little something something on TV that he just had to ask MC to try and make. He shyly knocked on their door and when they answered, Levi shoved the screenshot in their face and stuttered out a dinner request.

On the day MC was supposed to make dinner, Levi poked his head into the kitchen and tried to make it look like he was just standing in the same room as MC and not checking to see if they were making his dinner request.

Not that he’d blame them for not doing that… who’d wanna make some anime dinner for a yucky Otaku- OMG JAHSHSHABA THEY’RE MAKING IT! *fangirl squeals*

As Levi continues to commit the SIN of being in the kitchen at the same time as someone else, MC eventually just asks him if he’d like to help out.

“Here! Just keep turning the takoyaki.” “R-really? You trust me?” “Yes, Levi. You watched how they made it on your show, right?” “Yes! I won’t mess up! I swear on my honour as an otaku!”

All in all, it was a very cute bonding experience for the two. Now it’s a regular thing. Levi requests something for dinner or dessert, MC makes it, Levi helps out.

Satan

So, the human can cook. That’s nice. At least someone in this literally god forsaken house can.

He makes sure to thank MC every time they cook, then he makes sure to thank whatever deity is watching over him that Solomon wasn’t the human staying with them.

As the months progress, Satan realizes, he should learn how to cook better. I mean, Levi and Mammon were somehow both improving in their cooking endeavours, and if MC could teach those two, then he would be a breeze.

Satan walked into the kitchen and simply asked if MC needed any assistance with what they were doing. MC just slid him some garlic to dice and that’s how this mentor/student relationship was formed.

Satan was a star pupil, but Mammon and Levi weren’t above trying to sabotage Satan’s progress to get him to leave.

Here’s the thing, the sabotage worked, but it only worked once, and the two idiots didn’t stop to think that maybe they shouldn’t sabotage the meal they were going to have to eat later.

Well, cooking lessons continued uninterrupted after the ghost pepper incident…

Even when he’s ‘graduated’ their little cooking class, Satan’s always willing to lend a hand if needed. He also will slyly hand over some recipe books and cute baking supplies that he finds. MC should be prepared for lots of cat related things to come their way.

Asmodeus

The human can cook? Oh frabcious day! He’s saved from a life of his brother’s mediocre cooking! And the human’s so cute too! What a bonus!

Not only is the human cute, but their food is just so… aesthetic??? Pretty???? Omigosh he just has to get a picture for Devilgram!

For the first few months, MC’s relationship with Asmo consists of Asmo not at all subtly asking to take pictures of their food and post it to his Devilgram. Listen MC, his followers would just love it!

Being the saint-sheep they are, MC lets Asmo sit in whenever they’re making anything in the kitchen. And Asmo slowly realizes “hey, this cute human with the awesome food is actually pretty cool too!”

New Mission: Make the human fall madly in love with him so they’ll want to hang out more.

Whether the mission succeeds is up to MC of course. (I mean, I’m already smitten with him sooooooooo-)

MC offers Asmo a lot of the pastries they make, but the Avatar of Lust almost always declines. Listen honey, he’s on a diet- wait, don’t make that sad face! He’ll eat it! Look! It’s- it’s delicious…

Diet cheat day is now every day MC makes dessert. The feeling of bliss Asmo gets when he takes a bite out of anything MC makes is only second of the treats is second only to the joy he feels at seeing MC happy that he likes their food. It’s just so wholesome I can’t-

MC’s food Devilgram has almost surpassed Asmo in terms of followers and honestly- he isn’t even mad.

Beelzebub

Gasp! Lucifer finally got him the pet personal chef he’d always wanted! Thanks big bro! :D he’ll be sure not to eat this human!

On the first night MC was supposed to make dinner, Lucifer needed to hold Beel back from breaking into the kitchen to see what was causing that heavenly smell. It was, difficult… especially because Lucifer hadn’t slept in three days.

When they all sat down to eat, Beel practically inhaled everything and held up his half bitten plate for seconds.

We here at Stupid Headcanons incorporated recommend that MC have as many bodyguards as possible stationed around the kitchen at all times to ward off a hungry Beel. We don’t want him eating the ingredients and half-tempered chocolate.

A cinnamon roll through and through, he’ll eat everything MC gives him with a big ol’ smile on his cute little face. He’s not the best person to go to if MC wants advice or critique because the best thing Beel can usually muster is “it was really good.”

As Luke said in Lesson 5, Beel would make an awful food reporter. But we love him.

Similar to Levi, he’ll give meal requests on what to make for dinner. (At this rate, MC’s going to have to make some kind of list).

He kind of just waits by the door like a sad puppy whenever MC is making anything because he can’t get into the kitchen :(

Belphegor

The smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house did reach the attic and it only fuelled his rage more. How dare the human win everyone over with cookies?!

After the attic incident, Belphie was won over with cookies.

Belphie just stands creepily in the kitchen doorway whenever MC is making anything and just makes shit really uncomfortable. Why’s he doing that, you may be wondering, well, he’s trying to calculate the energy needed to swipe the bowl of cookie dough and sprint to safety.

He never succeeds, mainly because once he gets to the bowl, MC already has the wooden spoon ready to smack him, so he just freezes mid-theft and slowly puts the bowl down.

“Oh my gosh, it says let the bread dough rest overnight? Let’s get a headstart and go to sleep now.” “Belphie what-” “I made a pillow Fort, come in. Let’s sleep.” “In the kitchen????”

How’d he make the pillow Fort without MC noticing? Years of experience. He’s trained in the art of- MC? What do you mean you can’t sleep right now and you need to get a head start on shaping fondant?

…he may have eaten the fondant while MC wasn’t looking… whoops… Beel may have rubbed off on him a little…

#so adorable

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