skyheartstar13

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“Do it scared” “do it badly” it’s time to drop the guide for do it alone

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pro-tip: don't ever use the sentence "thousands of years" in your worldbuilding unless you really know what a thousand years is like

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Still reeling from the realization that bullet journaling was essentially created to be a disability aid and got legit fuckin gentrified

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Acquaintance cards, a variety of calling cards, 1870s-80s. USA. Via dangerousminds. More to see: Mays / flickr. They were used “by the less formal male in approaches to the less formal female.”

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Okay, here's my criticism of this post I keep seeing -- and no, it's not what you think. I know, my longtime followers who know the kinds of things I post about a lot are probably thinking, "Oh, I know what their objection is going to be. It's going to be that 18-19 year olds are adults who can date older partners if they choose to." But no, that's not it this time! Yes, I do believe it's fine for young adults to date older adults if they choose to (and am accordingly rolling my eyes at all the "This should go up to 25!" comments in the notes), but. That's not my issue here. In fact, precisely because I believe that young adults dating older adults is morally neutral, I'm not at all concerned about the efficacy of the messaging against it. My concern is that underage minors being in sexual/romantic relationships with adults is actually harmful and dangerous, and therefore young people actually should be warned against it, and this is not an effective warning.

Fellow old people, do y'all remember being 14? At all? Would you have found this warning effective and compelling at that age?

I for sure would not! I did not! Quite the opposite!

Put yourself in the young person's position here. You have no rights. You're treated as someone with no agency. Your parents, teachers, government, and society as a whole treats you as some combination of "nuisance," "ticking time bomb," and "unthinking blob." Developmentally, you're at a phase of life when you should be transitioning to a more adult role, but everyone around you demonizes you for that desire. All your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are dismissed as the inconsequential ravings of Just A Dumb Kid Who Doesn't Know Any Better. You meet someone who treats you with basic human politeness, tells you that he likes you and that you're mature, actually treats you like you have two brain cells to rub together. Of course you're going to be drawn to him. And then when other adults warn you that obviously of course he doesn't really like you, that's impossible, of course you're not really mature, no one could possibly see you that way; actually you're naive and incapable of making your own decisions, and the way your parents/teachers/society treat you is completely justified. Are you going to heed those warnings?

Why are adults absolutely constitutionally incapable of giving good, necessary advice to teenagers without fucking insulting them in the process? Of course teenagers don't listen to it! Why would anyone??

"Oh, well, of course teenagers don't listen, because they're stubborn, and immature, and biologically determined to make bad decisions, which is all the more reason they need to be controlled," say adults, completely oblivious to the actual problem.

When I was a teenager, the big moral panic at the time was teen pregnancy, and we were all inundated with the least effective cautionary tales in the world: "If you get pregnant as a teen, you'll have to leave your parents' care and function as an adult!" Which left every girl who'd intentionally gotten pregnant for the explicit purpose of escaping her abusive parents saying "Yeah, that was the goal." And every girl who was looking for a way of escaping her abusive parents to think "What a great idea!" Today the big moral panic is older partners, but if the appeal of an older partner is that he treats you like someone capable of making your own decisions, why would you be persuaded by a counterargument of "Don't listen to him, of course you're not capable of making your own decisions!"?

Again. I'm saying this because I agree that adults dating minors is a bad thing and that minors should be warned against it. EFFECTIVELY.

That said, this is my advice to any 17-or-younger person being pursued by an 18+-year-old partner: Listen. You deserve so much better than the way society treats you. You deserve to be taken seriously. You deserve to make your own decisions in life. You have a mind of your own, and people should recognize that instead of treating your pesky "free will" as a personal affront or an inconvenient glitch. You can and should think for yourself. You deserve, and I hope you have, relationships with older people who validate those truths about you. However. You are still legally and materially powerless. I don't have to tell you that. You live it every day. Someone older than you -- and therefore, inherently, legally, more powerful than you -- should not be trying to extract things from you. Money, sex, unpaid labor, anything of value. Someone more powerful than you who truly values you, values your friendship, values you as a person, will be mindful of your status and not try to extract anything from you. Cross-age friendships are good. Older people can and should genuinely like and appreciate you, and you can and should genuinely like and appreciate them. But if they try to extract anything from you, run away.

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I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

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fuck i just saw that there are some google street view photo spheres in the gaza strip and now im fucked up

cause the satellite view is recent and its a nightmare just shattered gray expanses of rubble and all these deep ruts through the dirt everywhere that looks like some kind of machinery.

but the photo spheres are from before the buildings were destroyed so there are these cute little courtyard gardens with olive trees and pots with herbs painted in colors and nice little apartment buildings with laundry out to dry on the balconies. and when you zoom out to satellite its just completely obliterated wasteland of rubble and debris

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Was Pangur this Triangle before she lost her teeth? Or is it from a loss of cheek fortification or whatever the term would be?

the breed standard for Oriental Longhairs requires that the ears continue the lines of the face to form a giant triangle! they’re called “wedge heads” for this reason

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not naming names but some of you are genuinely really good people and i hope that you get everything your heart wants and needs

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who wants to see a tiny cat girl

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hey can you guys keep an eye on my red explosive barrels while i go take a nap

do NOT smoke weed beside them

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the rumple lamb sleeps on a pillow in the day

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look it's me,,,the black tboy

(HE/HIM) 🏳️‍⚧️👍🏾

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From 3DBearnadette on tweeter...

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the winsome winker

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Ok, I know I often have issues just getting up and starting a task that will only take me 5 minutes in the end. But WHY is that? What happens in my brain?

This topic is very intricate and hard to explain in simple terms - I gave it my best shot, so please excuse the masses of text! Split into 2 images for easier reading