sleepydreams07

[sleepydreams07]

oh dear all of maybe...2 and a few crows that see my account of .... dispair?....

I am cooking up a mega lore drop about my years in school ✌️ its been 4 hours of yapping in the drafts.

There's...a lot.

Im not sur ewhy im making it, ive.. not slept in a little over two days..so ya know. This the type of shit you have to email to your therapist because thats so much information to say in one go.

But i still gotta go to work again tomorrow.

Nahhh imagine i write all this and just. Dont. It wouldn't really change anything, id still have something to tell my therapist

[sleepydreams07]

ohh i see what you mean, i was high

Im not sure ive fully come down. Idk.

my name? 😞🪖🖤

Apologies 😮‍💨🙏 i have no idea what i actually have been saying in here the past bit. Ive been. Up for awhile

[sleepydreams07]

my name? 😞🪖🖤

Apologies 😮‍💨🙏 i have no idea what i actually have been saying in here the past bit. Ive been. Up for awhile

[sleepydreams07]

I feel like the closer ppl get to me the farther they want to ran away 🪖🖤

Yeah, i get that feeling man, its hard to let people in, hell ive even shoved people out before they get the chance to go on their own 💔 shits hard out here, and i bet i know how you feel, you're not alone in the fight man

[sleepydreams07]

I came across your profile pretty much on accident because a question about the community you're on poped up on my feed and I saw one of your comments and checked out your profile.

I myself am mostly on the ED side of tumblr. 🎀

thats fair, i just wanted you to be aware of where i am on tumblr if you decided to keep interacting with me, since people, understandably, dont like the tcc community im in.

I also roam around ED tumblr but i dont make posts for it

[sleepydreams07]

No you don't know me 🎀

I see i see.

Which tumblr community did you come from? Im in oneof them openly here, and then another side that is one i just lurk and like

[sleepydreams07]

Same 🪖🖤🍃 I think I want to start making something... I don't contribute any fancontent I kinda wanna edit

i forgit to come back here sorryyyy

I dont have the🍃

But i have other shit, things be stressful

Also...will i ever get to know your name? Its okay if not though

[sleepydreams07]

Glad to see you around 🪖🖤 you mean a lot to me as well..

🫂

Im high now but locking in on my texting

[sleepydreams07]

And I don't know you 🎀 (thought I maybe should clarify that as well lol)

i see i see, well ty for the texts

[sleepydreams07]

fuck, yeah. i know what that’s like. being in a room full of people and feeling like a ghost. i never fit in anywhere. always out of the loop... snapping at my own people too because my head’s a storm i can’t control. i’ve burned down things i wanted so many times it’s embarrassing, but it’s like this self-hate has a voice louder than anything else and it wraps around my ribs

i feel hated too. like i’m this fucked-up glitch that everyone’s tired of, and maybe they are, and maybe i am. it’s exhausting carrying that around, thinking you’re nothing but problems for everyone else. but also knowing if you tried to disappear, maybe it wouldn’t even matter ..i feel like a buzzkill everywhere i go.

moving away, chasing something that wasn’t real love? i’ve been there. thinking i’m gonna fix my whooooole life by changing the scenery, by changing the person, only to find the same chaos inside follows me everywhere. and yeah, sometimes i say things i regret because i’m desperate for something, anything, to break through the numbness. and i cant even kms bc im too scared to die.

but youre not making anything my problem. i asked you and you answered and that is ok. more than ok.

here we are, still dragging ourselves through it. still breathing, still kinda fucked up, still trying. and that’s something, yk maybe the only thing we can do right now.

you’re not as alone as it feels, even when it’s silent or cold. and it’s okay to feel broken and tired. it’s okay to need space and time.

i wish i could wrap you up and tell you it’s gonna be alright, but all i can do is say i’m here. in this messy, dark, fucked-up place with you i guess.

you’re still here, even when it feels impossible, and that counts for so much. you’re not a coward or a “gluten for punishment.” you’re fighting through things most people can’t see.

army anon :) (I cant use emojis rn :( )

Ypureamazing army anon

Not 2 be parasociwl but u mean a lot to me

[sleepydreams07]

I wakr up in thise fucking halls i wake ip in thsoe fucking halls i wakr up in fthose fucking halls i wakr up in throse fucking halls inblood!!!!! I hate yhse nightmares i hate thsr nightmares i agte thse nigjtmares i cant tell anyone i cnat tell anyone i cant tell anyone icnst anyonr and it hurts i hate thsr nightmares theyarnrt me they arent mr ehy is it both? Why is it both why both? Why why why why why get the fuck out of .y head get the fuck out of my head grt the fuck out of my head why both why two why two why why why why why why why why i woudl never i could never i COULD NEVER why oh my fucking GOD! Why both of them for fucks sake! WHY DID I GET ANOTHER NIGHTMARE WHY EHY EHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY IS MY MIND FUCKING RETARDED WHY THE FUCK AM I GOING THROUGH THIS? THIS IS NOT MY BURDEN TO CARRY! THE OTHER WAS WORSE ENOUGH HOLY SHIT! THERES NO FUCKING WAY MY BRAIN WENT INTO 'oh hey fucktard ! Survival mode! here ya go! Take these memories that arent yours and will SOMEHOW HELP YOU????' HOW DOSE THIS HELP ANYONE FUCK GET HIM TF OUT OF HERE IM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT!!!

[sleepydreams07]

When's your birthday? 🎀

August.

Do i know you?..

[sleepydreams07]

Im getting high as fuck after work, i at least deserve that.

I can already tell that ill be alone for my birthday so i think ill save up for shrooms

Yummy mushrooms

[sleepydreams07]

I just wanted to let you know that you're a precious person and you're worth it 🎀

I hope you have a wonderful day 🩷

one day ill believe it but thanks random anon

[sleepydreams07]

they make me SICK

[sleepydreams07]

I take one nap and all this? Are you okay 🪖🖤?

In a house full of people im all alone again. Even accidentally snapped at my mom bc she kept texting me so shes mad at me too.

I do this to myself.

When i finally get something i want i burn it down in months because i hate myself.

They hate me and i know they do. I am a disturbing fucking retard that dose nothing but make everything everyones problem. But whats it matter, they didn't love me anyway. It was all stupid platonic shit. I moved states away for something that wasn't ever going to be real love and now i destroyed it because i feel everything too much and not enough all the time that i needed that aggressive rush and so i said something.

And now im left to myself again for the majority of the week. I have an actual boyfriend but its barely a weekly conversation. And i was stupid enough to move states away for someone that cant love and never now.

And here i am, making my problems some strangers on the internet.

I do this to myself. Im a gluten for punishment i guess.

If i wasnt a pussy id be gone already because i just keep making things harder.

[sleepydreams07]

also a partner found out so 💔🥀 broken up with, womp womp me ig