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Cash or card?

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Beautiful leucistic all white ball python!

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Jelly taking a nap on my copy of the Book of Disquiet

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Reading to my dog

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my face if you even care

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I have kept diaries from the time I was a 6 year old girl, until now, as a 29 year old woman. I have relished in my affinity for this outlet of creativity from the time I was able to pick up a pencil and form coherent sentences, to now, with my back and knees aching just a bit as age slowly but surely creeps up on me like vines overtaking a part of nature.

I was learning to walk with a pen in hand, scribbling whatever little blurbs and babbles my 5 year old mind could afford me,

and I will die with a pen in hand, writing my last few entries, looking over a lifetime of well kept diaries and journals and knowing that I recorded a story that will perhaps one day be worth reading.

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Claw

Lately I've been exhausted trying to learn how to live again. When you've spent an entire lifetime trying to achieve stability you find yourself grasping onto it with a fierce vice grip. For as long as I can remember I have lived like that ; with claw marks on everything I have ever loved.

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when you sneeze on your period

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by thieu_riemen

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𝔣𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔶 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢

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One day you really do wake up and feel a sense of cathartic emptiness.

You've been gone for what feels like a century now. The tears I've cried and the liquor I've consumed as well as the blood I have shed during your absence felt to have been enough to fill up entire pools.

The earlier months were the hardest. I'd wake up heaving and sobbing, having seen you in my dreams but knowing that I'd never be next to you again. Perhaps it was for the best, I thought. You had admitted you were never really a good person, and I still searched for something to save even when you'd bring your hand back to destroy my belongings, to choke me, to slap me and then say "You made me do this", and yet, and still yet, I had missed you.

These days the same void and emptiness exists in my chest, I feel hollow, not just because of you, but because of how life has treated me.

However, as time goes on I do feel lighter. These days I don't see you in my dreams anymore, you no longer consume my thoughts or emotions, in your place is a myriad of feelings I can't quite explain but I just know that it shrinks ever so slightly day after day, week after week, and month after month.

And so with that,

goodbye, see you never.