someonethatdoesexist

[someonethatdoesexist]

He came back

but I don't want him back

[someonethatdoesexist]

You don't know you lost him... you will just realize it when you see him with another person and hits a great sh\t in your heart

[someonethatdoesexist]

"Love is nothing but a fantasy"

-The Huntsman: Winter's War

[someonethatdoesexist]

I think I deserve more

Kung may teacher's pet meron din naman sigurong 'teacher's enemy' at feeling ko belong ako dun.

Meron kase akong aura o hindi ko lang alam pwede rin naman sigurong impression na ~madaling mapag-initan agad ng ulo~

Mula pa noon marami akong isyu sa grades ko pero hindi ko lang talaga bini-big deal. Pero ngayon alam ko talagang importanteng importante yun naisip ko na dapat naman sana ibigay ni T ang nararapat para sakin. Pwede naman sigurong ma set-aside muna kung may lihim na galit sila sa akin o ano. Be Professional naman sana kayo, kinabukasan ko nakasalalay dito hindi naman sa inyo. Okay lang sana kung hindi kayo T at iba pang T napaghahalataan kayo sa mga anomaliya niyo. Yung nakita namin ng classmate ko yung ranking ng 2nd Quarter accidentaly dahil sa pinakuha mo rin yung folder, na shock ako dun T. Maraming mas mataas ang rank sakin na alam mo namang nagko-kopyahan lang. Kita mo rin naman yung ginagawa nila. Isang table tapos the same ang score, MAY DIFFERENCE NGA pero atmost na yung 3 points. Marami din ngang nakakita na gumagamit sila ng kodigo o kaya cellphone.

Please naman po maawa kayo.

Grabe na yung pagbaba ng final grade ko, alam naman ng lahat na hindi ko deserve yun. Kung hindi dahil sa iba hindi ko pa nalaman yung totoo ngang may hindi dapat na mangyari.

(Hindi naman sa ako'y nagmamayabang)

Nung Last year nga, Ina-nounce yung list of top 10, tapos ako as top 5. Na nag-eexpect ang lahat na ako yung mangunguna kase kung sa test lagi highest score...performance wala ding problema...hindi rin naman ako problema sa room...

Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung anong nangyayari. Nakakawalang ganang mag-aral kase kahit ano namang gagawin mo kahit na tumambling kapa dyan nasa kanila parin yung final decision.

natatakot lang talaga akong magreklamo kase baka mas mababa pa yung makuha ko at hindi ko gusto yon jusko. At baka mahirapan akong maka-alis para mangibang eskwelahan.

[someonethatdoesexist]

"Strive to be alive"

[someonethatdoesexist]

THIS IS QUITE LONG

(2)

I felt betrayed.

He kept on chatting me but I reply if its really important.

(Did I told you at {1} that my mother and his uncle is close with our family that's why I know his anscestrals house address. and they also work at the same place. But as i've said in 1 that im shy to tell infos and stuffs there are still some that im shy to tell how we got to know each other)

He still keep on posting sweetly to the girl.

(I saw it on my mothers FB ... she's also asking me who the h is that girl)

Everytime my mother tells me what that idiot posted on Fb . It makes my heart ache and my body feel numb.

most unforgettable day

december 17 2018

He told my friend who happens to be also his friend to chat me that he has a surprise for me.

We are going to go to a fest with our friend that guy ⬆ .

so its me our friend and him

as I read the word surprise I felt that my heart is twisting

(Hindi naman ako bobo para hindi malaman kung ano ang surprise nya)

Yeah He went with his girl and told us that the girl he's with is his GIRLFRIEND. I was like an air that night.

I just roamed the place and met people whom I can talk for hours that night so I can distract my self on what happened.

We all went home

But strangely

I didn't cry

i just felt nothing

Day by day. The distance me to him became far and faaaaaaar.

Me being cold ..

but him he keeps on asking my mother what have I been doing stuffs like that.

and Im annoyed

New year he greeted me but i didnt greet back

and just this january . He again showed up infront our door.

He said that he just want to hang out.

But I told him that im busy.

He keeps on showing up every weekend just like how he did in the past

but I think I can't give him a chance anymore..

its too much..

[someonethatdoesexist]

THIS IS QUITE LONG

(1)

So i had this guy friend of mine....

well yeah he's close with my family, at the point that he just go to our house almost every weekends....and im just aquainted to his mom (something like that)

So I don't consider him as some kind of 'Best Friend' 'cuz we're really far far for that kind of relationship. We just know each other...

each others name

birthday

name of parents

address ( I don't know where he live but I know their ancestrals house address)

as far I can think hat's what we both know with each other because that's what we just talk about.

Sooooo....Year 2017? Yeah I think it's 2017

He's showing motive that he likes me. Well he told my mom about that but he

NEVER

told me directly that he like me.

Just like on movies a person tells the person they like

"I like you"

I never heard or read that. (We talk at messenger sometimes.)

I can say that he's bit showing some hints on me ... just like some playboys like to do. Giving hints and stuff.

So as time goes by ... some things change ..

I just realize that I have a crush on him.

I don't know why.....

well he went to our house every weekend. And every weekend im very excited.

We became closer than before. We talk even we are both in class . But one day , I just saw on Facebook that he's been talking and continuosly interacting with girls. Well it just caused my sudden sadness. He didn't talk for me for about a week and he didn't came on weekend.

After that some whatever you call that.

He just showed at my mothers work place (forgot to tell ..that's where we met..I'm just shy to tell why he's at my mothers work place...just try to guess it haha)

~He showed up just like nothing happened, he approached me just like nothing happened~

Like nothing happened

He didn't bother to explain why he didn't talked to me for about a week.

(I didn't think about it too much... thinking too much makes me hungry)

After that showing up moment he chatted to me again.

*fast forward*

◇He was drunk.

I forgot to turn off my mobile data (Well also because i'm expecting his message that night)

He just made a drunk call at 2 in the morning .. He's just talking about how he met his friends and some stuffs like he found a cute lil puppy.

So we're talking until he was home and I ended the call. (Im relieved that he went home safely)

Summer of 2018

(May 31)

We went to enjoy the last week of summer at some resort. I just feel that somethings strange about him. He keeps on looking at the screen of his phone and smiling like an idiot.

◇The next day at night I am waiting for his reply cuz I asked something.

He just went quiet..Again.. didn't reply to my message.

and suddenly I saw his post at Fb tagging some girl with a sweet quote.

That made my heart ache.

We didnt talk . I didn't met him.

I can still see some of his sweet post on Fb

He showed up again just before my birthday. He said sorry about not replying to me to my message and not talking to me.

I didn't talk too much when i'm with him even when he's trying to have a long convo with me. Its just that I still can keep with what's happening. I really want to push him away but he keeps on giving me HOPE

I made to think about the thought that I dont own him so who am I stop him from falling to another person.

Day by day he build a step on the stairs of hope leading to somewhere I really dont know And idiot me keeps on going on those steps even I dont know where he is leading me to.

I didnt stayed angry at him. So we talk again in a snap like how the girl he's keep on interacting with stopped.

He messaged me some text early in the morning. We keep on talking for hours.

He keep on hinting that he likes me but he never said that he likes me. Yeah dude the f.

November 18, 2018. That idiot guy didn't talk to me again. What the F I didn't do anything wrong. Im tired of On and Off interaction, He always keep me hanging. And again I saw his Fb that he is AGAIN posting some sweet posts to a girl.

It made me angry my heart is about to burst that time.

I deactivated my account.

Surprisingly the next day (11/19/18)

He went at my house and asked why can't he fimd my name on fb.

I told him that I deactivated it because I want to. He didn't asked me for further explanation and i'm lucky with that.

He went home after lunch because my mother told him to stay for a while so 'Me and that Guy ' can have some shit chat but WE didnt talk. We just stayed at the living room watching telivision.

I became cold when it comes to him . I easily get angry beacuse I felt that I've been betrayed.