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sonotdonte-blog · 8 years ago

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My name is Donte Woods-Spikes I personally have watched both of these mothers put in extra hours not only for their children, but also to assist the people that surround them. As much as I admire them both…I didn’t want them to meet. Why? In Columbus Ohio, community and police relations are not in favorable conditions. I try my best to bring the two entities together for the sake of all the innocent people who needs them both. At times I lose faith in both sides, but when the unlikely meeting took place between Leatha Wellington and Kelly “Officer” Shay, my faith became permanently restored.

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Leatha Wellington with her 3 sons. (Far left) Marshawn McCarrel, (2nd to left) Khyri McCarrel, (far right) MarQuan McCarrel.

Kelly “Officer” Shay with her daughter Maya.

It all started January 24th, 2017 around 11:00 AM. I woke up to see on my social media page that I was left a message by Officer Shay, telling me to contact her…ASAP.

(L to R) Commander Lang, Sergeant Ayres, Officer Kalous.

Pictures of me and other officers were posted on my page as well Columbus Division of Police social media page, which is how we met. I only communicated with Officer Shay through social media. I never saw her in person yet, so the fact she wanted me to contact her made me worry.

Instantly, I thought about everything I did in the past week and wondered if I unintentionally did anything illegal and if it was jail worthy. I thought about the red light I ran, the U-turn I made, the soda I got from the fast food place when I asked for a cup of water. None of it was enough to go to jail, so I called her. (Lol)

Once we began talking I was informed of a slight issue that was taking place at an event she saw I was going to attend. The event I was going to was called Feed The Streets.

Marshawn McCarrel, Leatha Wellington’s Son started the Feed The Streets (FTS) event. Its purpose was to feed those in need of a meal, as well provide people with clothing and basic needs. As of February 2016, Marshawn passed away from fatal self-inflicted harm.

Leatha Wellington, alongside a team of organizers continue the Feed The Streets event on a monthly basis. Volunteers from schools and organizations come to help out with passing out lunches and clothing.

Officer Shay told me that the landlord of the plaza was skeptical of Feed The Streets presence because of the crowd that it drew during event and preferred if they didn’t have the event in the parking lot. She volunteered to go to the event herself, just in case someone would call the police, she would be present to inform other officers that she was already on the scene and there was no problem.

I was very hesitant to pass along Officer Shay’s contact info because I knew once FTS were notified that they weren’t able to have the event in the parking lot, they weren’t going to be happy. Reluctantly, I informed Ms.Wellington and gave her Officer Shay’s number. After a while, I checked back with Ms. Wellington later on to find out that this was going to be their last time setting up in the parking lot.

…I became very upset. I couldn’t understand how someone could have an issue with a group of people providing food and clothing for ANYONE that is in need. The more I thought about the event location no longer being in the same spot…my brief moment of anger turned to worry. I began playing scenarios over in my head thinking what happened when Officer Shay and Ms. Wellington were on the phone, Who said what? Was it a smooth exchange or did someone get offended?

As much as I wanted to dig deeper and see if anything did happen, I left it alone and just waited to the day of the event to see what actually did happened.

So the day of event comes…

As I’m driving down West Broad Street I thought about how cold it actually was, and how the homeless people who frequently visited the event have to remain cold while I’m in my car with heat. I make it to the event and turn into the parking lot. I saw the police car WAY in the corner away from the event. I knew that was Officer Shay, I became worried again. I arrived a little bit late, so I thought maybe before I arrived they had a brief altercation or disagreement, something that caused her to stay away from the crowd.

I got out of my car and walked over to Ms. Wellington to help her unload some things out the back of her car. I was positive she was going to be angry or upset…but she wasn’t. She said hi, gave me a hug, and briefly talked about them finding a new spot to hold the event…and jumped right into the fray of things. I was thrown off by her being unfazed by the whole ordeal. Even with her being so calm, I still knew I had to go check on Officer Shay.

I mingled amongst the crowd for a couple of minutes while I watched the police car to see what was going to happen. Nothing…absolutely nothing. That was almost worse than something happening because I was prepared to react to whatever she did. I figured I needed to go see Officer Shay before something bad happened.

I separated from the crowd and walk over to the police car. As I got closer, me and Officer Shay made eye contact and waved at one another. As I approached the driver’s side of her police car, she stepped out. We hugged each other and began to talk about how good it was to finally meet face to face. I asked her if she wanted to come over and join, she said yea but she didn’t want to scare anyone. As much as I hate to admit it, she was right. The only reason I was comfortable was because I knew who she was, If I didn’t I would be skeptical. After that I asked if she would be able to come another Saturday. She said that she usually doesn’t work on Saturdays because she has to be with her daughter.

When she said that, I realized that from what I seen of her on social media, she happens to spend a LOT of time with her daughter. I began thinking to myself, “Wow, that’s very honorable of her to come out on this cold day that she usually doesn’t work to help maintain control in case something does happen.” I started to think, maybe nothing bad happened between them. Maybe I’m just making it all up in my head. As soon as I thought that…

Ms. Wellington and some people from the event began to walk over to where me and Officer Shay were. I figured THIS was about to be the moment they exchanged words.

Ms. Wellington and Officer Shay standing next to each other surrounded by children.

Nope…not yet.

What happened was one of the homeless people who attended the event was sitting on the curb next to us. He seemed to be very upset about something and didn’t want to go over to the event, so some of FTS decided to come over to him. We found out it was his birthday, so we all sang happy birthday. I said to myself, this is pretty cool, let me get a picture.

After that Officer Shay went to the car to grab something. I thought to myself it’s about to happen now…

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Nope…not yet.

Officer Shay came back with stickers and passed them out the kids. Which they seemed to be enjoying very much. I took some more pictures.

Unexpectedly, everything was going fine and I began to not worry as much as I did. Until something else happened that I knew for sure was about to disrupt the joyful moment.

One of the kids stopped and stared at Officer Shay while she was passing out the stickers. He began pointing at something…

He was pointing at her gun…

THIS was where I knew there was nothing that could easily be brushed aside or covered up with another happy moment. I thought of every high-profile shooting that took place in Columbus as well other cities and states. I don’t know if the kid knew about any of that Officer Shay turned around and saw him pointing. My heart began to beat very fast. I froze up and just stared.

Officer Shay said to him “If you see someone with one of those tell someone right away.”

He shook his head yes.

I just stood back and watched, waiting for it to turn into a long conversation, or a moment of awkwardness…the situation literally ended as quick as it began. I continued to observe everyone while they talked for a second…thinking of what else could possibly happen that would make me uncomfortable.

Officer Shay got back in her car, and Ms. Wellington walked over to her and they began to talk.

As they were talking I began thinking how this moment was inevitable. I also thought about how selfish I was, how I thought of so many ways to not have them meet, how I doubted anything good would come from their encounter…but not once did I encourage them to connect when they both serve the same community. I tried to protect them from one another because of my own inability to trust that people aren’t able to connect with each others in ways that I can. This beautiful moment could have been sabotaged if I actually acted on my doubt. I took the picture while they were talking.

As the event was coming to an end, Ms. Wellington walks back over to the event and begins to pack up. I follow behind to assist her and everyone else. We finish up and I begin to say bye to everyone. I walk over to Ms. Wellington and she gives me a hug. As I was ready to let go she held me for a couple more seconds and said, “I love you.” To be honest…her words touched my soul. I can’t remember if I responded, but I know for a moment I could see inside myself. I felt very special and so privileged to be apart of the event.

Everyone began to leave, so I made way over to Officer Shay to say bye to her. I walked over to car once again, and she got out her car, again. I hugged her and thanked her for taking the time to watch over the event. She grabbed my hands and she said to me, “You have a gift. There are not a lot of people who can do what you do.” She was referring to me constantly attempting to bridge the gap not only between community and police, but people period. Little did she know, what I considered to be protecting both of them, was me acting just like the people that cause division. Her acknowledging me shed the guilty feeling that lingered inside of me. Again, not even a couple of minutes after Ms. Wellington embraced me, I felt honored that someone else would even acknowledge me in such a personal and fulfilling way how Officer Shay did.

What lesson did I learn from all of this?

What makes them both special is the traits of being a mother aren’t only exclusive to their children, they share the same love and compassion for humanity.

One of Ms. Wellington’s son’s is gone. She could have easily given up and went into that dark place that is very easy to go to when we lose a loved one…but she continues to invest in her sons vision and share that same love she has for her family with everyone else. As she continues her mission, the amount of strength she has is a constant reminder that we have the ability to push through things that seem impossible to overcome.

Officer Shay’s mission involves her waking up every day and dedicating her life to police neighborhoods in the midst of police officers being under heavy judgement and remains true to her jobs purpose watching over the people. Every moment she has free outside of her job, is invested into building a stronger bond with her daughter and promising her a future while she puts her life on the line for people she has never met.

After seeing watching them fulfill their missions, I found out what my mission was as well…

I did everything I could to fight against them crossing paths, but the day they finally did they both recognized me in ways that made me feel at peace. These two women are a prime example of sacrifice. If every person had the chance to experience the love of these two mothers, the world would change for the better. Neither one of these women are my mother, but they both have embraced and cared for me as if I was their own son.

Even though the three of us may have different ways of approaching community work, were all contributing to the same exact cause. Some times we can get so caught up in looking at solving issues in our own learned expected ways that we forget there plenty of others people who are doing the same exact things, but just in a different way. The same level of encouragement and embrace they have given me, I have no choice but to remain true to my mission, and share that same feeling they give me, to everyone else.

Sacrificing for a greater good is not something thats easy to do because it comes with putting pride to the side and facing your insecurities and fears head on. You have to let go of whatever may be holding you back and telling you no, because as soon as you overcome whatever it is, a new door opens up and new beginnings take place.

Happy Mothers Day Leatha Wellington and Kelly Shay. You both mean the world to me and I will continue to share the gift you shared with me with everyone I cross paths with.

Thank you.

Three Missions…Two Mothers…One Sacrifice My name is Donte Woods-Spikes I personally have watched both of these mothers put in extra hours not only for their children, but also to assist the people that surround them.

#Black Mothers #Community police relations #Mothers Day #Police moms #White Mothers

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sonotdonte-blog · 8 years ago

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The TEDx Talk of My Life...and Yours.

So...you’ve been selected to give a TEDx Talk. Instantly, you begin prepping to give the most informative thought provoking talk ever. The day of the event comes and you walk into the venue. You see a big TEDx backdrop as well a pamphlet with your name on it before you make way backstage. You get backstage, wait a while, and get notified your turn to speak is coming up. As a mic check is being done you hear the current speaker talking, but it sounds muffled and distant. Not because their voice is unclear, but because you’ve become so zoned out trying to remember your speech.

As the speaker before you is close to finishing, you find a vantage point backstage where you can see about four people in the crowd, but they cant see you. You lock in on those four people...and stare. You realize those four people don’t remind you anything of yourself. They all look like the person you walk past everyday. The people you subconsciously avoid all of your life because you already know there’s nothing in common. You know that your age, political stance, religious beliefs, cultural background, and of course your race...will play a factor in a barrier being created. You take a step back and hide removing those four people from your sight, trying to recollect yourself before you go on stage.

The host begins introducing your talk, and thoughts begin to go through your head such as “Will I remember all of my speech?” And “TED is global platform who’s slogan is ‘ideas worth spreading’...is mines worth listening to?”

All of a sudden...you can hear clear again once your name is announced to walk on stage. Each step you take towards the middle of the stage reveals the crowd is much larger than you anticipated. You make it center stage and stand on the trademark Red circle shaped carpet assisted by bright lights shining down on you, and hundreds of unfamiliar eyes are staring. At this point, what do you say?This is what I said...

youtube

After my talk, I had an epiphany. My biggest lesson learned from speaking at TEDxColumbus, was the fact people have always been prepared to listen...I just was never prepared to speak. I spent over half my life keeping all of my ideas to myself, sabotaging my own imagination, killing my creativity, and holding MYSELF hostage from free thinking.

If you haven’t figured it out yet I’m using me, to talk to you, about you being me, while using me as you. I’m us and you are we. Don’t try to figure it out, just accept it. We are the same person now. But enough about ME, lets get back to YOU and your TEDx talk.

The key to having a good TEDx talk is giving yourself a good ol fashion YOU talk beforehand. You were not chosen by TEDx to sound like you have a PhD in explaining far-fetched anomalies that exist on another galaxy. You have been chosen because YOU are the subject being studied. The audience is studying to get a PhD in understanding YOU. Your idea is the anomaly that exist on another galaxy. So YOU have to get in your time machine, travel to that space where no one else can go, grab that idea that no one else can see and bring it with you to the TEDx stage. Keep in mind you have a time limit on stage though, so leave the time machine in the garage.

You’d be doing a disservice to the world full of listeners as well yourself by doubting your idea. All the world renowned Speakers, Business owners, Authors, and anyone who is thriving as of now...believed in that thought they had. Once they decided to finally share it, people began to listen. This is exactly what a TEDx talk is. Your moment, as well everyone else’s to be reminded how much we all have to offer and that we all have a duty to listen and speak.

So with that being said, to all of my soon to be TEDx speakers...

Yes...you picked the right topic.

Yes...you’ll remember all of your speech.

Yes...you’ll get on stage and do an amazing job.

Yes...you’ll walk off stage and feel more alive than you ever have.

Yes...you’ll realize you can NOT go back to your normal life.

Yes...Your going to keep sharing your idea and get recognized for it.

Yes...You’ll begin recognizing other peoples ideas and you will support it.

Yes...you will change the world.

No...the time machine is not included in changing the world, which makes you realize you have to do it NOW.

So every thought, every feeling, every dream...everything you have needs to come with you that day because when your standing backstage at your TEDx event, and your name is called and displayed on the screen, your going to have the worlds attention. When that moment comes...what you say is going to be stuck in time for all eternity. So please do the world a favor...

Give the talk of YOUR life, so we all can live forever.

Sincerely,

Donte Woods- Spikes, A.K.A. DonTedx :)

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