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soonboolvrs · 4 years ago

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[ choose ] yoon jeonghan

in which gianne (you) had to choose between jeonghan, your long time best friend who liked you for the longest time or seungcheol, a person whom you liked recently.

genre: angst (?), fluff, idol!au

characters: gianne (you), jeonghan, seungcheol

word count: 3431 words

lowercase is intended. also, this is my first time making this kind of stuff so please expect some grammatical and spelling errors. english is not my first language so i'll try my best. happy reading! :)

* start *

"here's your coffee," your best friend jeonghan, places a cup of coffee in front of you as you study your notes for the upcoming finals.

you looked at him annoyed since you told him not to bother you. he pouted and shifted his gaze from you to the cup. as much as you hate getting interrupted while studying, you couldn't help but appreciate jeonghan's effort.

you took the coffee and took a sip, you felt your tired body feel a little more energized rather than stiff and drained from studying.

"thanks for this," you say pointing to the coffee, "but you could've given it to me after i finish studying."

"come on gi, you need to take a break at least," he went closer and attempted to close your books and notes but you were faster and took it before he could even do so. he sighs.

"i'm doing fine, jeonghan. stop worrying."

"i don't see that," jeonghan looks at you, of course it was evident. how can you be fine when all you did for the past few days was study? your bags became heavier and darker. your lips were pale like a ghost. you didn't even had the time to eat or sleep early. so how can you even say your fine?

you rubbed your eyes before looking back at him and gave him a tired smile, "i can handle this."

"no, you can't." he took your things and placed them inside his bag quickly. you tried getting them back but you were too tired to pick a fight with him so you sighed in defeat and leaned back to your chair.

"see? you're too tired to even fight me. so drink that coffee and eat."

"jeonghan i need to–"

"eat, drink, and take a rest," he says. "or i'm not giving your notes back. your choice."

you rolled your eyes at him. you can't even blame him for being concerned, after all he's your best friend.

“you think i could pass the exams?”

jeonghan looked at you and scoffs, “are you really asking me this gi? yes of course! i believe in you and your skills are unbelievable so why are you doubting? now go ahead and eat please.”

"fine." you stood up as you grab the cup of coffee that jeonghan gave.

jeonghan smiles, grabbing your hand he took you to the nearest mcdonald's.

—

“can’t believe we’re graduating in 2 days, han.”

you were fascinated with the view in front of you that you didn’t notice jeonghan’s stare on you. this was your special place, a place you always go to whenever you achieve something or when you need something to let out. for 10 months, you were just focusing on surviving the semesters and jeonghan was with you. he never left your side. and he’ll never will.

jeonghan softly chuckles, “i know.”

“what are you planning to do after? i mean, we’re graduating and...” you trailed off.

you were thinking about what you could do in the future, all you thought about is to just go with your plans you had from the start with jeonghan. you were already ready to spend your adulthood with him because you never planned on getting into a relationship and jeonghan agreed with that.

“let’s just stick to our plans, gi,” he looked at you once again, but this time he was smiling sadly.

—

3 weeks after your graduation, everything isn’t going well for you. you were currently working as a barista in a coffee shop which isn’t a stable job since you just graduated and there isn’t a lot in your resume to join to a company. though you and jeonghan planned to work at his father’s company, you said that you wanted to try other things as well while still looking for another job and jeonghan respected that decision. but the real reason was you don’t want to rely on him anymore, ever since you guys graduated you realized that you were just relying on jeonghan so things could go on your way. but this time, you wanted to be independent, without asking for jeonghan’s opinions.

“are you sure you’re doing well there?” jeonghan asked, you were in a phone call with him during your break.

“yes, han. i am doing better than yesterday, stop worrying!” you made sure to make your tone a lot brighter and alive.

“alright, if ever i have time, i’ll make sure to check by okay?” he says, you could hear people chattering on the other side of the line. he sure is busy but he’s still making time for you.

“uh? excuse me?” you were busy with your thoughts that you forgot that you were now in charge of taking orders. you looked up to see a man waving his hand in front of you, eyebrows furrowed, his brown almond eyes staring.

“oh!” you exclaimed and apologized, “may i take your order?”

he looked at you surprised, you shifted your gaze from him to the monitor in front of you.

“uh,” he starts squinting his eyes while reading the menu behind you. “can i have a chocolate frappe?”

you started to press the order number and his desired drink on the monitor, while he was patiently waiting for his receipt.

“you’re new here right?” he suddenly asked. you stopped for a moment but got back when you processed his question, you simply nodded and continued pressing a bunch of numbers on the monitor.

“here’s you receipt, let me prepare your drink,” you swiftly grabbed the receipt and gave it to him, without giving him any glance.

you focused on preparing his drink and got it done it a few minutes, you’re still getting used to making the drinks, sometimes you overflow the drinks or you put too much ice and that slows you down. but now you were getting a bit faster than you used to.

you gave his drink and you finally took a glance at him again.

"thanks," he says and left.

hmm, he seems in a rush. you thought. you recalled the moment he asked you if you were new here, that's when you assumed that he's a regular in this shop. you found yourself embarrassed even though you shouldn't since you were new here but you were zoning out while on duty.

—

after working in that coffee shop, your assumption was correct that he was a regular. he would come in a certain time and order the same drinks over and over again. it seems like it's part of his routine and it became yours too, you would make his drinks minutes before he would come and take his order so you would just give it to him. he never initiate any small talks even though he was always here, he also never drinks his chocolate frappes here.

it was almost 2:30 in the afternoon, the usual time he comes in. so far no one was coming in so you started to make his chocolate frappe now. you heard the door opened so you quickly went back to the counter. you found yourself smiling when that person you expected to come, came in. though it was a little early, you were still expecting him. you mentally slapped yourself when you realized that you were smiling as he was walking towards the counter.

"hey," he said.

that was the first time he ever greeted you. it was surprising and new but you didn't mind it and greeted him back.

"the usual?"

"ah, yes." he smiled. he smiled.

this is also the first time you ever saw him smile, you never knew he had a dimple on his left cheek.

"cute."

"i'm sorry?"

what? why is he apologizing? and that's when you realized that you were thinking out loud. you wanted to slap yourself so badly. you quickly apologized and he—

"no," he laughs. oh god his laugh. "i thought i was hearing it wrong, but thanks."

you were trying to function normally but his laugh kept on replaying inside your mind, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath before responding.

"uh, l-let me just get your drink." you turned around but then he called you.

"i think you forgot my receipt?"

you turned back at him and apologized once again, you can't seem to get things right after you witnessed a dimple when he smiled and heard him laugh all in a single day! you quickly pressed the order number and everything, took the receipt, gave it to him, and went back inside to make continue his chocolate frappe.

"here," you placed his drink on the counter, trying hard not to make any eye contact.

"thank you, gianne." and right then and there, you wished you just spontaneously combust.

—

“no, cause he was seriously cute! i never knew he would look that cute too!” you were in a call with jeonghan again and you were telling him about that regular customer who comes in at 2:30 in the afternoon and keeps on ordering chocolate frappes.

“really? bet he’s tall too,” jeonghan says.

“you are definitely right! well, he’s as tall as you!” you just can’t stop smiling when you keep on recalling the times when he was there.

“gi, when are you going to work here?” you were confused with the sudden change of topic.

you sighed, “i’m still thinking about it, jeonghan.”

“i’m just saying you’ll have a lot of opportunities here, and father is also waiting for you to just come and work here.”

you frowned, yes you could’ve gotten a lot of opportunities there and even a promotion. but the thought of relying on him again is the reason why you don’t want to work there. you never told him of course, you just kept on answering the same thing. i’ll think about it, is all you ever say.

“i know, i’m just looking for the right time.”

“every day is the right time gi, please consider.” you felt your heart sank when you heard his tone changed. you knew he was disappointed when you told him that you found a job in a coffee shop even though he tried to sound happy for you.

you glanced at the clock and it was already 2:24, “oh shit, i need to go. talk to you later!” you ended the call before he could even say good bye.

—

you finally know his name. it was seungcheol. you also found out that he has a girlfriend, he never told you directly. you just knew he has one since he never made a move on you. it’s not like he has to in order to determine if he’s single or not.

and you were right. he has a girlfriend. he brought her this time with him.

“the usual and an ice coffee.”

he looked more blooming than ever, is it because he brought his girlfriend now? you did the same thing over again and made the iced coffee. you brought the two drinks and placed them on the counter.

“thanks gi, you’re the best.”

you chuckled. “of course.”

you watched him leave with his girlfriend until they were no longer in sight. you were a bit sad that he did have a girlfriend, i mean with that face? his girl is so lucky to have him as a boyfriend! you thought.

—

months have passed and you were busy. today was a busy day. you were getting orders from left and right. you were tired but there are still three pending orders. one of the staff is making it and she was a part-timer, she is new so you had to assist her.

while you were assisting the part-timer, you heard a glass broke. you told the part-timer to continue her work and you instantly went outside, your gaze went to seungcheol’s table. you noticed the broken glass just below their table, you saw seungcheol’s girlfriend was just standing there watching him pick up the broken glass on the floor. his girlfriend scoffs and left the shop, leaving seungcheol picking up the glass on the floor.

you rushed to their table and stopped him from picking the shattered glass.

“everyone please, don’t come any closer.” you told them.

“sir, please drop those, you might get hurt.” you bent down and looked at him. he was crying, his eyes were red, he was trying not to sniff. you gulped, unsure of what to do. you grabbed his hand to make him drop the glass from his hand, but it was already bleeding.

“seungcheol! you’re bleeding!” you gasped, as blood starts dripping onto the floor. people were shocked as well.

“stay here, i need to get the first aid,” you were about to stand up but he grabbed your hand and pulled you.

“wha—“

“i’m alright. this is nothing,” he says, showing me a smile. rather, a fake one.

you didn’t even realize that you were already tearing up. for some reason, you were just hurt with the sight of seungcheol crying. he was hurting.

“no, you’re not fine. please, let me treat your wound.”

“i’m sorry for causing a mess.”

“seungcheol, please. stop it. let me treat you first.” he looked like he was about to cry again, so you grabbed his uninjured arm and took him behind the counter. you asked for the part-timer to clean up the mess and told her to be careful while you clean and treat seungcheol’s wound.

you took him inside the employee’s bathroom and rinsed his wound there, gently touching the side of his wound. you could see him biting his lip through the mirror, trying not to show his pain.

“why would you even pick up a broken glass?” you asked, almost a whisper.

“i didn’t want to cause a mess, i’m really sorry for what happened back there.” he was trying not to cry in between his words.

you were finished cleaning it and started to treat it. both of you were just quiet and didn’t give each other any glances. after all, this is the first time for both of you. you never really cared for any customer but what made seungcheol so special? that was what you thought of when you were treating his wound.

“let me know if you need someone to talk to, stay here for a while.” you said while putting back the items inside the kit. “if you want to, of course.”

“i’ll just wait until you finish your work.” he says.

“alright, just rest for a while. i’ll be back.”

good thing you only have an hour left before you’ll close the shop. the time went by quickly than expected. you were already cleaning the tables and arranging the chairs. the part-timer already said goodbye and left, she insisted on helping in cleaning but you said that you can handle it.

you were done cleaning. you were getting ready to close the shop, you went inside the employee’s room and spotted a sleeping seungcheol on the chair. you could tell how uncomfortable that position is but you noticed how soundly he sleeps. he must be so tired after crying. you could hear him crying inside the room even you were being loud with making the drinks. that made you a little weak, what happened between them? did they broke up?

you quietly changed your clothes back and placed your uniform inside your locker. you woke seungcheol up and his eyes were still busted from crying, it was worse this time.

“you good?”

he grabbed your arm and pulled you into a hug. you were surprised with the sudden hug, you tried to pull him off but he was too strong.

“stay. like this. just for a while.”

—

seungcheol finally told you what happened, his ex-girlfriend broke up with him because she was getting tired of him, the argument got heated when he mentioned about her girlfriend cheating on him. she didn’t want to tell him the truth but seungcheol kept on insisting her to just tell him and that’s when she just slammed the table so hard, causing the glass to fall.

you were also hurt from what seungcheol told you. you don’t know what came to you but suddenly you just wanted to treat him better. you started to treat him his favorite drink and even giving him little sticky notes and pasting it on his cup. you also found out that he works as a producer which is why he always buy drinks. you also told jeonghan that you might decline the offer and just continue working in the shop, because that is the only time you could see and hear seungcheol. jeonghan no longer pushed you with the job application and said that he was happy for you that you already found something that you’re passionate about.

jeonghan does visit from time to time, he would always stay a little longer than usual and even drive you home. he would treat you to dinners too, sometimes lunch as well if he has time. he never forgot you. every time jeonghan was there, all you could talk about is seungcheol and nothing else.

—

fuck. you finally realized that you like seungcheol. you think of him every day, even at night. you would always ask yourself if he’s done with his work, you would always try to spray your perfume when you know he’s already coming.

today you were on leave. you finally decided to tell jeonghan that you like seungcheol, you were meeting each other at the special place that the two of you would always go to during your college days.

“hey jeongha—” you stopped. “what’s with the flowers?”

“for you, of course.” he says giving you the flowers. you accepted it even though there was no event to celebrate.

“this is so random, jeonghan.” you said laughing.

you both sat down at the bench that you always sat on.

“i like you.i like you, gi. since college.”

you froze. you looked at him, making sure if you heard it right. but he was serious, he wasn’t laughing or anything. you finally saw that look that he was giving you for years but you just never noticed. that look full of captivation.

“but jeonghan, i like—”

“i know, you like seungcheol.” he finally looks down, he even let out a laugh.

you don’t even know what to say. how come you never noticed? all this time, all the things that he did for you was because he likes you. now you felt really bad because you even tried to push him away because you didn’t want to rely on him. you never took your eyes away from him.

“gi, why are you crying?” he asks.

you didn’t even care when you cried in front of him. you always hated crying in front of him, you wanted to look stronger in front of him but this time? you just broke.

“why are you telling me this now?” you finally said.

he looked at you and smiled, “i was scared before, gi. i was scared of losing you because i knew that you only saw me as your best friend. and that was okay for me.” he averted his gaze down to his fingers and started playing with it.

“i thought, i could only have you this close to me even just a friend. i could only do certain things to you as long as your by my side. but the only thing i could not do is to tell you how much i like- no scratch that. to tell you how much i love you more than just a friend.”

“you don’t have to like me back, gi. just let me love you like this. then i’ll probably let you go.”

you don’t know how to feel, you were feeling every emotion right now. you’re happy because you also liked jeonghan before but you stopped it before it could even develop even deeper because you were also scared of losing him. you’re sad because you just found out right now. you’re frustrated because he’s telling you this now when you already like someone else.

“will you go?” you finally spoke after being quiet for three minutes.

right now, you were more afraid of losing your best friend.

“not when you still need me.”

“why do you seem so sure, that one day I won't need you anymore, and that's okay with you?“

it was the most painful reality that you had to face. as much as you want your best friend to stay, you know what your heart wants. you wanted to cry again, but your eyes were already exhausted from trying to figure out who you would choose.

"because that's how we are, gi. not all relationships are lifelong. and that's okay."

you felt your heart shrink. after jeonghan said those words, he gave you a smile. the smile that you fell for before. the smile that made everything okay. but right now? it's not the same anymore.

"so, you think ours is not everlasting?"

jeonghan nodded, "i know you'd choose him over me. i'm sure of that."

he stood up, giving you, his best friend one final smile before leaving.

"in the beginning, i already lost something that didn’t even started yet." he whispered to himself and walked away.

time finished: 1:44 am

thanks for reading everyone! i really liked writing this one, let me know if you want more! :)