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Hello, Diagnosis. Goodbye, Soylent. With Love, a #Soylentpioneer

It’s been ten months since my last post and a lot has happened. Sadly, my journey with Soylent ended in August on the heels of my diagnosis with the autoimmune disease, Celiac. Celiac is a serious genetic autoimmune disease that damages the villi of the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. What does this mean? Essentially the body is attacking itself every time a person with celiac consumes gluten. Between the start of my journey in May, 2015 and up to August, 2015 I had tried every version of powdered Soylent, including with their latest: 1.5. I continued to suffer from GI problems. The diagnosis, which took YEARS in the making, is a good thing. It means my life will vastly improve. However, it also means I cannot eat anything with gluten. Soylent cannot guarantee its ingredients to be safely gluten free enough for celiacs. Soylent is testing at 20ppm, but people with celiac disease still can’t consume that much. It only takes 1/8th of a teaspoon to trigger our body’s attack responses. Unfortunately, what our bodies attack is our digestive tack. So add that to my continual sickness while consuming Soylent, I had to make the right health choice for me. Soylent has gluten on its radar. I believe they will come up with a certified gluten-free version that is safe for celiacs. I still believe in Soylent and its mission. It is with great sadness that we must part ways. I will be back with another post, soon. One that explains celiac disease a lot better and one that will take a look back on this page and all the missed signals. For example, this entry from one of my first posts on WHY I chose Soylent: “I have digestive issues. Everything I eat wreaks havoc with my system. YES. I’ve been to the doctor (take a Zantac is now the go-to solution from the great medical profession).”I’ll want to talk about how long it takes for someone to get diagnosed, how dangerous that is, and how often, someone typically will develop other autoimmune disorders or cancers or mental illnesses triggered by undiagnosed celiac disease. I’m overwhelmed right now. Until then, be well. 

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Even my thyroid is depressed!

I've been (noticeably?) absent for quite some time. I'm sad to report that my Soylent journey hit some *major* bumps, as in depression.  I've written here before that no matter how satiating Soylent is or how much you love it (and the ease of it), it will not cure emotional eating. If that is your struggle, it will rear it's UGLY head. 

(BlargNards is selling ^these)

Near the end of July, I fell off my regime of Soylent and began binge-eating. I sat for hours and couldn't get anything accomplished. I couldn't read. I had no concentration, was constantly fatigued, and whenever I did manage to open a book or article or play, I had trouble comprehending what I was reading. Worse, I couldn't write. I couldn't revise or edit. I had no focus. Simple things seemed overly complicated. Then, I was diagnosed with major depression. (duh). I also had blood work done and found out even my Thyroid was depressed. #solidarity (actually, if I were honest, I knew my thyroid was acting like an underachieving jerkface two years ago, but never went back to make sure it wasn't a fluke). I had a vitamin-D deficiency. (actually, if I were honest, I knew my Vitamin D was low two years ago, but never took the jerkface vitamins). So, everything was low: my mood, my thryoid, my D, my output, my creativity... Through it all, I tried to kickstart Soylent. Every Monday, I made a batch and dutifully took 16 ounces to work. Every Monday, I managed to drink 8 ounces. Total. For the week.  Sunday night, I'd pump myself up, again. "This week I will start Soylent, again!" And every Monday: 8 ounces.  BUT THIS WEEK!

I started medication for my thyroid, which is HUGE because I don't take ANY pills (see: vitamin D). I'm not going to go into why that is here, only my therapist will know (when I see one).  But, HUGE. And I have to tell you, within only a couple days, I've seen a VAST improvement. (see: this post I'm writing). I've had great focus, have written, read, and submitted new work to 15 different theaters, wrote a detailed proposal for a large work I'd like to write, went on walks, didn't keel over fatigued at 1pm, and (drum roll) haven't experienced the deep pit of depression for, like, 7 days!

Now, before I credit this all to an improving thyroid (I know I still have to manage my depression), I need to go through 2-3 weeks of this same feeling before I know it's not one of my "up" cycles. Oh, Soylent! Yes. I've started, again. It's not as smooth as the first time, but I'm becoming a bit more consistent. AND, I'm stoked about this new, awesome powder from a local tea shop called "Clarity."

It contains gotu kola, ashwaganda, bacopa, matcha, and ginger.  

I have no clue what most of these ingredients are, but it tastes GREAT in Soylent!

So. My Soylent (and life) journey has had its ups and downs. But I keep trying.  Cheers!  

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Working my way back to you, Soylent Babe.  It's not Soylent's fault (entirely), but I fell off the wagon. I have maybe a glass or two a week.

It happened slowly and was due to these two factors: Mainly: Food issues (emotional eating). If you have disordered eating, Soylent doesn't fix that (not that anyone ever claimed it would, I'm just putting that out there for others struggling along these same lines).  But also: Major stomach bloating and pain. Sometimes, gas. 

I want to get back to my Soylent lifestyle. Soylent and I were doing SO WELL. But every attempt to restart has been difficult.  I'm looking forward to Soylent 1.1 which should help the internal gas issues, but I have to get my way through the surplus I have first and I don't know if I have the patience to get through the adjustment period again. The internal gas never fully goes away on Soylent 1.0, but it gets better and more normal and was always the better alternative to how my GI reacted to any and all conventional foods. Plus, we all know how difficult it is to get back on a wagon once you've fallen. I'm working on those emotional issues, as well. thinking positive! I'm working through it, folks. I still believe Soylent is right for me. I'm feeling determined to get back to it. I was happier on Soylent. Anyway, just confessing here. Keeping it real. But I wanted to be honest, since this blog is about my experiences. You get the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sending this one out to you Soylent:

I'll keep working my way back to you, babe With a burning love inside Hey, I'm working my way back to you, babe And the happiness that died

I let it get away Do-do, do-da, do (Been paying every day) Do-do, do-da, do

When you were so in love with me I played around like I was free Thought I could have my cake and eat it too But how I cried over losing you

See, I'm down and out But I ain't about to go living my life without you Hey, every day I made you cry I'll pay and, girl 'Til the day I die

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Soylent 1.1 is HERE!

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So, I was like this, today, looking at Benedict, and all of a sudden, I had an idea. Well, Benedict and I did. He helped. See? he's thinking with me. We thought together all morning.  Here's the story: I've been having way more conventional food days and now, way more "poor choice" conventional food days, mostly it's because I lost my grip on social occasions, but the effects are gross. I feel like I've been eating bags and bags of chips (maybe I have. you don't know) and lots of wine and beer (okay, for sure that) and in general, being a lazy eater (in a bad food choice kinda way) for a couple weeks. I don't know how it happened. I suspect it had something to do with a slippage in mood, which happened because of some bad menstrual cycles, a couple rejection notices, a BBQ, and cheese. (It's always cheese) The point is, I've slipped back into a eating crap as my first choice instead of Soylent.  It pains me to confess this, but it's all part of living the Soylent lifestyle, isn't it?  One thing I can tell you is that I'm not happy about the choices, not even when I'm making them. Rarely (except for the potato salad a friend made) have the food choices given me pleasure. I'm not choosing these foods for pleasure. Comfort, yes. Pleasure, no. Two different things. Any way. Benedict and I wanted to find a solution. So I stared at him all morning. For science. Eventually, it occurred to me: Soylent Cleanse. I know, right?!   I use Soylent for two meals a day and some days are all Soylent (typically, but obviously not these last two weeks). What if once a month I did 100% Soylent for a week as a cleanse? It would remove my guilt over poor food choices I've made, because I would be cleansing my body of all the crap I put into in a state of emotional neediness? Not only that. Let's assume I hadn't had a bad couple of weeks and have been on my Soylent twice daily for most days and all soylent a couple days a week AND did a once a month weekly Soylent Cleanse? ALL THE WINS.   And honestly, who wouldn't benefit from a Soylent cleanse? No one.

So Benedict and I stared at each other awhile longer until I finally said, "Let's do this. Once a month for one week, I will go 100% Soylent!" Naw, Benedict, YOU. I couldn't have done it without you and our mornings together. 

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BBC Four Tries Soylent

Last week, BBC Four sent a crew from their latest documentary show, "The Shape of Things to Come," to my house to enjoy a Soylent lunch.

Getting mic pack on and general chatting about the awesomeness of Silicon Valley. Amiable folks. The host was not a Soylent fan, but the guy behind the camera thought it was tasty enough.  They tried to tempt me with a fast food burger. I gave it to my husband, instead. (my husband ending up tossing it away. It was gross).

The host literally ate this on his way over because he was so hungry and they had been running around all day. Um, dude. If you had Soylent, this travesty never would've happened.   "Eating is cheating." Manly men don't stop to eat during a pub crawl. *sigh* Apparently, to market to the guys at the pub, they thought we'd have to concoct a way of eating that isn't cheating on drinking night. So, we put vodka in my Soylent.   Despite the heavy pour, I think this could actually be a thing. And for all those folks into flavoring their Soylent, Hangar One Vodka has something for everyone! 

Overall, it was a fun time. Will there be some jabs at Soylent? Myself? Most likely. But I hope there's good information (I did my best) on the product, as well. 

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Creature From The Habit Lagoon!

I am a CREATURE! Of Habit.

But, I kind of look like this whenever I am forced to do something different, spontaneously, without time to mentally prepare for... CHANGE. Duhn, duhn, duhhhhhhn. I've settled into a comfortable routine with Soylent (except for those 5 days in the mid-west where I went cold turkey and Bob Evan's pancakes). I make a pitcher, I drink a pitcher. Simple.  But then, I forgot to make a fresh pitcher.

Duhn, duhn, duhhhhhhn. I was running late for work and panicking about how I would feed myself. Habit has a tendency to make me panic (and faint in a really hot way like this):

To make matters worse, it was my long day, a day when it's much harder to find food and keep fed throughout the day. I was going to DIE.  So, I had no choice. I was going to have fight. (or, you know, pass out passively). I chose to rewrite the narrative and reach down deep, and take the bag of Soylent, a scoop, the oil, and a Blenderball tumbler and *gasp* make SINGLE SERVINGS! Duhn, duhn, duhhhhhhn. It was then I wish I had paid more attention to the discussions on the forums on scoop measurements.  I put in one scoop, filled the tumbler (which is   ounces) added oil (unmeasured) and shook it up. And... I survived! (this is me surviving):

(and apparently making out with my habit)

I have no clue if I had enough Soylent. I usually take in 1500 cal. per day. In total, I had two scoops and half a bottle of oil, but I made it through my day. And am comforted by the fact that I can make single servings and live!

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In defense of being "vanilla." I'm plain. I like plain things. I dress plainly (for the most part) and eat plainly.  I've tried to flavor my Soylent. Not out of boredom for the near-neutral, slightly sweet, vanilla notes, but because I wanted to find a way to combine caffeine into my Soylent. I tried coffee and was unimpressed. I tried matcha green tea and was equally meh. But plain is beautiful! Vanilla is beautiful. Just look at those gorgeous flowers! Vanilla (and plain) gets a bad rap, but it shouldn't. We're exotic. Rare. (did you know the vanilla is the ONLY fruit-bearing orchid, is the most labor intensive of all agricultural products, with cultivation, pollination, and harvesting done by hand. Or that the Aztecs and Totonacas believed it was the fruit of Gods? So yeah. NOT boring.)  I should take a moment to mention that I'm defending Vanilla in terms of it's rep for being boring, not its use in Soylent. Soylent does not use vanilla, but rather a synthetic vanillan. But I digress. Flavoring Soylent is just not my thing. I like it as is. (except for the occasional dark, sweet cherry soylent smoothie). All hail the exotic, beautiful Plain Vanilla Janes!

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Soylent IS green!  When you add matcha tea to it, that it. This time around, I used three, individual packets of organic matcha powder to one pitcher of Soylent, rather than the loose leaves.  The flavor is even more subtle, but the color is gorgeous. It would take a few more packets to really bring out the matcha, but that would be an expensive way to go. I will try, as was suggested, brewing a pot of tea and substituting the water in the reconstituted Soylent with brewed tea only.  All in all, I'm loving the tea/soylent combination over coffee. 

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How to deal with SCOTUS. I've written here before about how I turn to food when I'm depressed...or angry...or feeling hopeless, and now that SCOTUS has added to the arsenal of those who have declared war on women, I've had a bad couple of days. I even thought of having a Whopper, I was so pissedsaddazedhurttroubled. It's hard not to feel as if you're surrounded by evil forces wielding swords who want nothing more than to cut you into pieces. This is going to be a hard day, food wise. I'm sipping on Soylent as we speak, and trying not to log on to Eat24 and order kung pao three-way with two sides of garlic noodles. I'm trying. I'm sipping and trying.

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Green Tea Soylent

I had a beautiful green tea ice cream the other day and the creamy texture made me think of soylent and how green tea might really add a lovely flavor. In my first experiment, I took green tea leaves and ground them with a pestle and mortar. I then added hot water to the mix and brewed some tea. 

Next, I filtered out the leaves, cooled the tea, then added to a glass od pre-made soylent. The result was a very subtle tea flavor. Too subtle.

I decided to then take the used, crushed tea and add it to the rest of the pitcher of soylent (about half a pitcher), shake, and leave overnight. 

Knowing the tea was still not fine enough to thoroughly blend, my hope was that the tea would infuse the soylent enough and then I'd strain the soylent in the morning.

The straining wasn't 100% perfect. A lot of tea pieces made it into the drink. But, what the hell. I decided to pour a glass anyway and you know what? It was AWESOME.

There's a distinct green tea flavor, but not overpowering. The flecks of tea leaves are barely noticeable. And boy do I love this way more than the coffee concoctions.

Based on this experiment, I shall buy a good, organic green tea powder (grinding tea leaves is far too much work for me) and add to the dry mix before water and oil.  Anyway, outside of the occasional black cherry smoothie, this is the only soylent variation I like (or am interested in). Cheers!

UPDATE: I measure nothing. I just eyeballed the tea. Next time, I'll note how much I'm adding.

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Soylent Cures Hangovers! #science

I'm sitting here with a hangover and clicking "refresh" on a HuffPo reviewer's blog waiting to see if he liked or LOVED our show last night.

I made coffee (as I'm still half-asleep) and a cup of soylent. Surprisingly, within a few gulps of Soylent, my nauseated stomach eased up and my headache disappeared. If this is any indication of how my day will go, I expect a rave review!

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Husband Starts Soylent! Doritos Stock Plummets!

Husband took his first Thermos full of beige, creamy goodness to work and, save for the croissant and power bar, survived!  "I can do this," he was heard saying later that night. News soon went out to the food trucks. Vendors were caught stabbing themselves and wailing.

Some may have, though reports are still unconfirmed, jumped from the bridge. Others have already filed bankruptcy papers.

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My third shipment.

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Lost Weight.

My clothes are looser. I've been on Soylent for 44 days. Checking my weight, I see I've lost 12 pounds. Okey doke. Early on I said I wouldn't track or talk about weight because I don't want this perceived as a weight-loss diet drink (IT'S NOT). But I also realize that any weight loss I have is a side effect of having the Soylent lifestyle. So it should be noted. It's noted. Moving on...  

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Soylent solves all this! (mostly)

an autobiography