sparkygalaxy

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brooklyn (19)99

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Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

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I currently own 1 Tumblcoin, the future of meme currency.

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the universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

human: GO FAST

the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST

the universe: wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER

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hands down the best twitter story ever

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If you ever feel bad about taking a longer time than someone else to accomplish the same things, just remember that during the 1912 Stockholm Olympics Japanese marathon runner Shizo Kanakuri passed out in a garden party along the marathon route and, instead of notifying race officials of his inability to finish the race, he went back to Japan without telling anyone and was considered a missing person by the Swedish authorities for 50 years.

He didn’t finish the race until 1967 when a Swedish television station offered to help him complete the run, and he finished with a final time of 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 5 hours, 32 minutes and 20.379 seconds.

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PLEASE UNMUTE THIS. PLEASE. 

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Tacky high key lesbian is the mood for today. Day 108

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By furafura

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Picture this: it’s the dead of night, you’ve woken up and the powers out, it’s silent, uneasily so, you can hear your own breath, and then, from right outside your door you hear it: one loud, wet, SLAP!

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