spidernymphe

[spidernymphe]

Posting here because I have a lot of people I’ve drifted away from who still follow me here

I got married!!! Happy pride!

[spidernymphe]

I thought we were past this

I go to my pet sitting clients homes, a pair of lesbians, and talk about how their father is doing. They send me Christmas cards, and have wedding pictures on the fridge.

Another, older lesbian couple, telling me how they fought for gay rights when they were younger. I cuddle their lab and talk to them about my partner, my family, my life. Get to treat all of it as normal.

A trans fem and a non binary person come into my work, clearly expecting to be parents very soon, the trans fem doting on her pregnant, masc partner. I chat with them excitedly, happy to see families that look like me and my friends existing.

My girlfriend and I talk about getting married, what we’d wear, what a good timeline is. How we want our dog to be part of the ceremony one day. Our dream home. My mother hugs her like a daughter, accepts her as someone to be loved without batting an eye.

My trans friends talk about their jobs and plans for the future in the same breath as their identities and hoped for surgeries. It’s all normal, it’s all something they can have. That’s finally something the world has space for.

I grew up and discovered being a lesbian, being so clearly and visibly queer, talked about myself openly to strangers, with the idea of getting a hateful or dangerous reaction feeling more like stories from another generation.

We thought we were finally making it.

And yet my pet sitting clients tell me not to go to the neighbors on the right if anything were to happen. They won’t help.

My other clients, getting into their golden years when they should enjoy their home and the time they have to travel, talk to me about how they may move to Canada. The decision is sad and the words tinged with regret and fear as I sit in a house they’ve made their own for many years.

The couple I meet at work and I exchange a bit too meaningful of a look, one of quiet fear and care for each other, as we wish each other the best going forward.

I speak with measured words sometimes, and zip up my hoodie to hide my pride shirt more often than I’d like.

My mother talks to me on the phone, saying she’s scared for me and my trans, disabled partner. Says that I’m feminine enough that people won’t pay attention to me, won’t notice. Tells my partner to use her dead name. That the friends we have could attract danger. She says it with love, but it still hurts. I still want to snarl at her at the very idea of letting distance grown between me and the family I’ve found.

I hold my partner a bit too close, engaged sooner than we wanted. We sell everything we can’t take with us and hope against hope that my dual citizenship will protect her and somehow, give us a chance at the dreams this country can’t hope to fulfill anymore. That it would steal away one support after another until we’d waste away. Not all are so lucky as us.

And I meet with my friends. Counting the moments we get to spend together, pulling them closer and promising to take care of each other. Because it’s all too soon we’ll have to say goodbye. Talking about how somehow, somewhere else, maybe we’ll reunite. We’ll have our community again. But it can’t survive here.

I thought we were past this

But if we were, why am I so scared

[spidernymphe]

Frog!

[spidernymphe]

World hard and cold

But Pizza warm on lap

[spidernymphe]

THE RABBIT SAGA CONTINUES

The bucket of the other two/three rabbits?? Gone. No idea where. Best guess is that a critter managed to pry it open and tip it over and then the wind blew the bucket away

HOWEVER

Partner and I found near perfect roadkill the other day while getting something from fb marketplace and took it home. Have done more research and this lad is now buried under some dirt and leaves in the veggie garden (where dog can’t get to it), with a bucket staked upside down over it (so neighbors won’t complain abt the smell and critters can’t get to it) and a mesh underneath it (to make bones easy to find in a few months)

So. Ethical rabbit bone acquiring take two electric boogaloo??? (Also if anyone has advice on any of this pls lmk 😂)

[spidernymphe]

Family visiting for Christmas and apparently have just labeled gifts for me and my partner as ‘for the lesbians’ 😂

[spidernymphe]

Assigned female at pizza

[spidernymphe]

Snooping on some discourse in a TikTok comment thread about gatekeeping labels within the lgbt community and had a thought but didn’t want to join that dumpster fire.

But- identities/labels for me, and in my opinion in general, aren’t about finding a category and fitting yourself into it, or going down a checklist of what makes a person ‘trans’ or ‘lesbian’ or ‘ace’.

Those words are not meant to be conformed to but rather let us put words to the feelings we already have. Make us feel like those feelings have value and that we belong somewhere. If a label or pronouns being acknowledged by others makes my partner or me or my friends feel like they’re seen, understood and loved���. Then the whole reason for them using that label or pronoun has been achieved. Done. End of story.

And yes definitions and exact expectations are fun to talk about, explore and even have theoretical debates on- but the moment it goes from that to making someone feel like they don’t deserve to feel like they have a place in the world and the words that make them feel cared for are being debated. Taken away. That’s when it stops mattering. Good day sir.

[spidernymphe]

A saga spanning several months

Sadly it was just primer. Still don’t know where my bucket of rabbit corpses went :(. Worried a critter stole em.

Feel like it says something though that not a single person was surprised by my antics in pursuit of rabbit bones. Not sure what it says exactly….. but definitely something :/

[spidernymphe]

Spent all week planning to use my two days off to get a bunch of stuff around the house done. Only for my brain to decide it hates me this morning.

Now I’ve spent every second forcing myself to take each lil step and am now just sitting on the laundry room floor trying to find the willpower to switch over loads not even halfway through what I wanted to do.

Aaaaaaaa 😭

Ig there’s always tomorrow ://

[spidernymphe]

[spidernymphe]

Here I thought *I* was a lesbian stereotype, meanwhile it turns out my partner made a gay yearning songs playlist that reminded her of me before we even got together just titled ‘Her’

[spidernymphe]

I'm so excited to show yall my new robot/warforged/automaton 🤖👀 here's a little peek!! She's an absolute menace

[spidernymphe]

Played with some lines a month ago

[spidernymphe]

Immosen, for @axes-archive , as a pinch hit! I love one regal-looking swashbuckler who is secretly tied in a warlock's pact in order to save her family. Which is a tad specific, but if I had a nickel-

Anyways, I hope you'll like this one, I had so much fun with the rendering of the face! (Reblogs are super appreciated!)

[spidernymphe]

I’m late to the party due to personal life stuff, but!! A piece I very much enjoyed making for my friend @axes-archive of their lad Yarrow for #tieflingsecretsatan2023

[spidernymphe]

Another batch of tokens, a couple of them were personal projects, and a couple being commissions!!