spunduckedout-blog

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Doodles

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What a weird place the flow goes when you finally let go....

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Gambling I'm rambling, spending money, thinking about bramble jam, counting on a win from the scam, a slave to the man. Damn.

Spending time, that won't matter when you die, spending so much time, you'll be alone when you die, no one lowering my casket, my last thought? Thank God I'm dead no more asking for answers. I do swear.

Though, that I'm like a lampshade thrown put the window, slapping crying ladies, worshipping hades, whipping the stolen 'Cedes, forehead stamping babies, and pleasing every yes or no question with maybes.

Slot machine, cost machine, cost of living, do the dividend so to find out how much work has cut into my living life, WORKED too much lost the wife, been cut by a few hoes with a sharp as knife, now I'm catching my breath, chewing on ice. Numbed up usually the only time I'm nice. A grin, and bright eyes should suffice, tonight?

Another weekend spent trying to get my mind right, wrapped up in my own ludicrous fight, with my very own light. So I start running wayyyy into the night

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I can't ride fast enough to escape these demons speeding next to me

I hide my thoughts in fear of they'll all think less of me

Don't look back, stay straight, be narrow, keep two wheels spinning, on that black, ride away, and don't look back

Losing sight of how the Lord keeps blessing me

More so focused on the anxiety that keeps arresting me, pressing me, caressing me endlessly, prodding my thoughts, testing me.

I won't stay in the shadow of the worse side of me, I won't lose sight of this side of me, I won't fall into the dark, I won't let it smother the last light in me. I will stay free, I will be the real me, I will stay where all can see, the good in me.

Don't look back, stay straight, be narrow, keep two wheels spinning, on that black, ride away, and don't look back.

They're gaining ground, almost to that finish line, so I press the throttle harder, only the wind on my mind, I grit my teeth, I scream into the wind, I won't be last place this time.

Don't look back, stay straight, be narrow, keep two wheels spinning, on that black, ride away, and don't look back

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We're broken, defeated, all our reserves depleted, but yet once again we're called our presence is needed, finding out it's just BS, no one's bleeding. And we can't stop feeding ourselves this fantasy of being savior, being the superman. Saving people from travesty. But I don't ever hear "are you ok?" from anyone asking me

But I do what I can, I swallow my emotions up and be a man

Where did I land? This doesn't seem right, can you help me get back? Someone turn on a light I'm having a panic attack, and I lack the mental stability, if I lose my way, I'll derail like a locomotive, but the public won't notice.

But I do what I can, swallow my emotions up and be a man.

So why can't I cry? I exchange my sad for anger, and I can't just make myself take it back later, so I love thy neighbor.

I do what I can, but I am only a man

With no plan in mind, no goal in sight so like waking up everyday in itself is a fight. Breathing heavy I just want to make it through each night, without trying to figure out what is wrong, and what is right.

I do what I can, I am only a man, right?

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I miss you like the earth misses the warm

I miss you like the calm before the storm

I miss you like a whole heart before it was torn

I miss you like lovers come and past

I miss you like a dream that couldn't last

I miss you first

And I miss you fast

With all said and done.

I will miss you last

And I will miss you again,

next time we pass.

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The best friend and my nephew, what would I do without you?

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Funky Town, West side, 817 G's up!

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The touching she does with a heaviness of love, conditioned to love a world that hates her, mistakes her for just another body bag number, unawares of the thunder, approaching in through her slumber...

Loving the life she lives, loving the pain

Loving the hurt they give, but she stays the same, un-phased, most days, but sometimes... You can find her on the brink, gripping the sink, white knuckle, knees buckled, barely holding it together, taking on water, facing the weather... At 3a.m.

Focused on the wrong kind of past, problems are history, but spontaneously at times the future becomes mystery, stay in one time too long. You just won't last, when your past has passed, it's past.

She dreams of, beautiful thoughts, and realistic things, never hearing anything other than "I"m sorry, and I can't" her plans become just that. Dreams, that will be her only regrets when she breaks..

Her wall swells, overflowing with feels, trying to keep that at bay, because her heart just healed. Just wanting someone to feel what she feels.

She fakes it on, day after day after day, pent up inside with so much to say, but no one to talk to so she won't get played so she finds herself alone, in her feelings, with not much to say... And then a boy walked in the middle of the day~

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I'm addicted, to the noise

I'm addicted, to the speed

I'm addicted, to the choice

I'm addicted, to the need

I'm addicted, to the feel

I'm addicted, to the rush

I'm addicted, to what's real

And when I finally come down

I'm addicted to the hush.

Don't mind me, while I sell my soul

Don't mind me, while toke this smoke

Hit another line, and mix this coke, sit back, watch me choke

I'm addicted to the joke.... I'm addicted to the joke.

I'm addicted, to your skin

And the way you let me in

I'm addicted, to your eyes

And those beautiful lies

I'm addicted, to that black hole between those thighs. Don't look away, one of us dies

Don't mind me while I sell my soul

Don't mind me while I hit this bowl

Borrowed time, 'til our next crime lock us up we don' t mind

I'm addicted to the life.... I'm addicted to the life...

I'm addicted, to the pain

What's wrong with my brain?

I'm addicted, to the same

Which me makes me insane

I'm addicted, to the love, of the one I lost touch

I addicted and will never have enough

I'm addicted.... I'm addicted.

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Everyday I'm with you is just so much better than the last.

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The Best Friend.