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[starryparchments]

It's all i know (It's All I Want Now)

After four years, you find your way back home

a/n: I got broken up with and I needed to write something after a while, so yay me for using my coping mechanism like I learned in therapy

Wanda doesn't pray. She wasn't a praying woman.

Wanda promised herself she'd never stoop that low.

Well…maybe not that strong. But she doesn't pray, not anymore.

Her parents prayed before, they went to church, and it was fine. Long, but fine. Nothing to write home about, it was a structure. Until they died, which….yeah. Religion wasn't one of her biggest worries after that.

She tried, believing in something bigger than herself. It got her family killed, it got her powers that she wished she never had. It lost her vision of a life in a cottage away from this world. She tried being the big fat hero of her story.

It just left her alone.

She got the life, a cottage, blossoms growing around her, and fresh fruit. Tony at least did her the favor of leaving her alone in her home. She has silence, fresh fruit, she's…getting as close to happy considering everyone died or left her..

Even..

No, don't you dare cry, not for that.

It's been too long, she knew, and then she didn't. Maybe she did give up-

There's a ping. Wanda doesnt really have anyone that texts-

No.

She sees a familiar winged friend circling around the area. Her red wisps capture it as soon as it's in clear view. She knows this annoying little toy..

"Redwing?"

"Are you sure?"

Four years…you never thought it'd be four years before you'd be back in this place.

You still think you're dreaming. it's plausable at this point. Waking from a coma and then hiding from your responisibilite and wanting some semblance of a normal life was valid. Bucky did it and everyone supported that.

Maybe it's why he offered you a home, despite being a congressman with a lot of eyes, with Sarah and her boys. You got to teach, it was…nice. Life on the other side, bucky said it would feel weird.

"Better than you deserve" He said softly. "It'll feel like that until you realize it's something you shouldn't have had to fight for"

"When would I know?"

"When you learn how to live again"

You hold a piece of paper in your hands, it's well beyond crumpeled, but you can still smell the spiced perfume. It's the only think that probably kept you sane. "Am I ever going to be?" You ask.

It might've been crazy, but…you had to try.

Find her

It's the next right thing.

"She went off the grid shortly after you fell asleep, so it's an estimate area of the last known location, but it's worth a shot to go."

Bucky's voice rings low, unsure. Sam looks determined.

"Do you think she remembers me?"

Bucky looks up, blue eyes finding yours, it's filled with unceritanty, but hopeful? It's a weird feeling to love someone.

Sam rests a strong hand on your shoulder. "I think she'd be crazy not to"

Bucky smiles "If she doesn't then..you knock some sense into her."

You take both of their hands, squeezing them tightly.

"Thank you"

It's so…peaceful.

You found youself deep in the countryside of italy. Tony was a lot of things, but you never imagined him to be private.

Redwing guides you as best he can, tracking the traces of magic she left behind. You meet the locals, and they're…welcoming? One older man yaps your ear off and his wifes drops yet another heaping of pasta on your plate.

Your italian was subpar, but they caught the gist. "A woman?"

Sam loves the attention, Bucky might've gotten a stomach ache. And the sun was just barely setting.

"She had red hair" You say. "Red hair, maybe brown now?"

One of the women hum. You snap your gaze towards her.

"Loner, but polite, she lives close to the fields, she always buys peaches."

It was your favorite. She- maybe she…it has to be her.

Bucky knows that look, and he's just thankful he doesn't have to eat another plate.

Just..one more night. To get your nerves together.

"Is there a hotel nearby?"

Oh yeah…you were definitely a outsider. But you had to try.

Three days, three dyas that you watched and waited and tried to get your bunches of nerves together just long enough to knock damnit.

You thought you needed flowers the first time, and by the time you stalled your way until you called it a night. The next day you thought what if it wasn't her and you were just hallucianting, or if she just straight up slammed the door at you and that was the last time you'd have italian coffee. Then- "You're going to that house or so help me…"

Bucky had enough. Sam was close. You were just..scared. "What if she doesnt like me?" "Then she's a bigger fool than I thought." He huffs. "We're going."

You watched enough movies to know you shouldn't have felt this way. You should've been racing aimlessly to see her, come hell or high water or something like that.

But she has a life.

You can't just barge in. Maybe it's why you can't figure out how to knock at her door. Your hand only rests there, making every attempt not to do anything else but be on the other side.

"I can't uproot her life. That isn't fair."

"You're not…you're giving her the chance to make the choice. But you have to knock."

You can't think. You can only move your hand as quickly as possible to knock (More like FBI bang) and then proceed to freak out like any normal human being. You try to shoo the two men away, claiming you mightve had a midlife crisis and a woman needs a minute. They catch the hint. And you hear footsteps. Your hands find that piece of paper, the one that lasted what feels like lifetimes. You pray you won't be a fool.

There's a click. You take a step back.

You see a her, her hairs darker, but you know. Your heart settles, just like it always did.

You can't find words, you can barely find yourself now that you found her. "Your birds finished Sam, but I'm sure it can be fix-"

"Wanda?"

She pauses, her eyes look up and the poor drone can't catch a break. It smashes on the concrete and you fight not to wince for Sam. It's foolish to focus on a drone and maybe it's nature or incompetence that makes you want to pick it up. "My name-" You pause, you never got this far in planning what you were going to say, and you hold on to the paper. "I didn't mean to-"

"Come inside." She doesn't looked shocked, so…good?

The cottage is big….Tony did have good taste, but he knew how a house was supposed to look. It felt like a home. You appreicate the hardwood floors and kitchenware with little knick knacks. It was her.

Her hairs lost it's red hue, it's down to her shoulders, it's beautiful. Her skin glows in the morning light, you can smell breakfast cooling on the windosil. Her eyes look so angry. "I'm not religous"

"I'm- sorry?"

Now you're just confused.

"I'm not religous and I know my powers, they can't recreate something perfect. I tried." She takes a step towards you, takes off her apron and places it on the kitchen table, it's stained, and she holds her hands to her chest "I know I don't see you right here. I know I'm being tricked."

You can't help your heart dropping. Maybe you were wrong to do this.

" God has done me no favors in life, and he hasn't fixed anything in four years. He didn't wake you up, he gave me nothing but pain and heartache if anything, so he couldn't have decieded to give me a break, he couldn't have woke you up and he couldn't have had you find me in the middle of nowhere. "

Green eyes find yours, searching for some trick.

"You…you're awake?"

Have her prayers not rung on deaf ears after all?

You give up on your words, only closing the distance more. You can praticialy hear her heart pounding out of her chest.

"You're awake" She doesn't believe it.

"I'm here."

"You're awake." She whispers, you can hear her crack. "You're awake, and you're here-Sam-"

"He helped, we wouldve been here sooner but-"

You're taken into an embrace, you heat a sob, a reppition of "Hi" and "You're awake"

You smile, and hold on to her. Maybe this was what you had to find.

Maybe she could believe in something now.

"Hi"

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I like that “morning baby” kinda relationship. The no games, great communication, lots of sex, lots of kissing, lots of cuddling, lots of flirting, lots of being goofy kind of relationship. That makes you want to run 100 miles, read books, clean up your bad habits kind of love.

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…I actually have a sticker of sunflowers, for when the rain comes, and when I’m a little sad too, but mostly for the rain, because no matter how hard it is, they still follow the sun, despite it going away for the day, and…it gives me hope that maybe even we have the sun inside us.

I’ll delete this soon, but spot on @honey-writes , your amazing brain really gave me something to look forward too today

This has most certainly been written about dozens of times before but something something isn’t it so beautiful how sunflowers always look towards the sun; how even on cloudy days they’re searching for the light; something something maybe the colour yellow equates to happiness because we were always meant to love the touch of sunlight

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i loved the wanda fic, thankyou. if you ever post anymore wanda comfort etc i’ll be the first to read. sending love <3

Thank you <3

[starryparchments]

could you maybe write some wanda comfort? i’m kinda struggling atm and i love all your fics. no pressure!

I hope this reaches you, and I hope that maybe this can give you a little bit of comfort with everything you’re going through, please know that you’re not alone <3

-

Wanda was never of this world.

To be honest, she never really knew for herself, her home was taken away from her before she even understood what home was. Anger was a…apartment if anything, and it always seemed to overstay its welcome.

Her powers were alien to the world she found herself in, and the people who saw their power thought it was that of a monster.

She used to think it for a long time.

She seemed to be lost, wandering for a purpose. As she wandered through the avengers, her mistakes, her grief, never seeming to find a way out.

She sees a ocean when she looks at you, slowly rising and falling with the stresses of reality, and the overwhelming desire to escape it. It’s only when your eyes fall to the floor, hoping to find a reflection to deem you human that she’s a little of her younger self in you.

She sees the same look she’s always felt, and feels a determination to pull you out of the water.

She misses how your eyes used to replace the stars at night when you look at anything with that rare wonder she wished she had. She misses how you smile, when your lips curl up so beautifully when you meet her gaze. She misses the little things that didn’t make her so much of a monster-a little more human.

Wanda doesn’t speak when you walk in your shared apartment with silence, your mind says everything to her and she can’t bear to see you in pain anymore. You can’t find words, and nothing thankfully seems to come out in tears for the hell of a day you had.

She needs to pull you out, to see what’s there to offer. You can’t drown, not until you know.

Wanda takes you to the bedroom, no explanation, just a look begging for you to trust her to help you, and a gentle tug your hand.

It’s the middle of the day, and it feels like chaos is all around you, and you want something you can’t put your finger on. You want something life can’t give you.

Your mind drifted to everything and nothing at once, and when you blink, your under the covers, right next to her. You see snacks and water on the nightstand, and it’s a welcome sight.

It’s dark, and the only thing you feel is warmth against your cheek with her palm. She’s not speaking, only gazing at you with no expectations to do anything.

You don’t care to question anything anymore. It’s quiet and you’re with her. You find yourself almost crying in relief when can’t hear a thing, you don’t try to think, but live in the silence of your mind.

You feel the tide calming, and the ocean still for a moment.

You wish it could last forever with her…

You grow tired with every breath, and there’s a pregnant pause, and a baby pause until Wanda feels your breath on her shoulder, and your head tucked into her neck. She doesn’t try to move, only move her fingers ever so lightly to mute the thoughts, and trace the features on your face lightly.

She can’t give you much, but maybe she can give you a world to retreat in for now.

‘Rest…you deserve it, my dear one’

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What do you feel comfortable writing?

Angst, fluff, and comfort fics :) but if there’s something that’s a little more blurry between the lines, send in the request anyway, I might write it for funsies.

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do you have a masterlist??

Hello there. I do have a master list, it’s under choose your character in the Navigation post. Here’s a link just in case.

https://starryparchments.tumblr.com/post/657351591157022720/masterlist-choose-your-character-updated-on-a

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mutuals. c'mere. this is a checkpoint. i am checking in. i am wrapping you in a blanket and giving you a nice warm drink. also some pretty flowers. it will be ok.

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saying what u feel will never ruin a real connection.

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Me when I get a double text: 🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘

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if somebody held their arms out to me and softly told me “c’mere” i would simply break down

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You (Make Me Feel Safe)

Summary: You can’t sleep despite everything telling you is fine (because it’s not). It’s not fine...might as well summon a very busy witch that may or may not want to kiss you every time she's near you. 

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety. Tooth rotting assurance. 

Taglist: @lynxwhispurrs​

Please listen to You Are The Reason for maximum reading experience.

It’s an off day today. It’s not good, or bad, or anything.

Just off.

Work was fine to say the least, and your day was okay. There’s nothing wrong…you didn’t lose your job, you got groceries, you didn’t have an overdraft, you didn’t trip over thin air.

Everything’s fine.

…

Is it though?

You lay in bed that night, your eyes still awake, mind still wandering at this…weird place in your mind, and in you’re heart. Nothings wrong, nothings wrong…

You find yourself at the window, searching for any threat that you don’t know. Yes, Natasha told you that you’re fine…she patrolled with you, there’s nothing wrong. There’s nothing wrong.

You just wished you could believed it. Even if there was nothing there.

You close the curtains, and place your face in your hands.

“UGH!!!”

Thank god the room was soundproof.

You feel like your losing it, your knees give to the carpeted floor. There’s nothing to fear anymore, you’re…as safe as you could get in the compound, right?

“If you ever need me, just think of your request.”

But she…she always felt so-

No. We’re not resorting to that, are we?

It’s so awkward after that kiss. You still remember it so clearly, her soft lips….her eyes, her hands holding you like the most precious thing in the galaxy. The rain pouring in the background as the fire roared in the living room. You felt so…

Is it really worth a try?

You inhale deeply, trying to clear your mind…your thoughts are racing, but…you focus on those eyes of here. The ones that look both green and blue in certain kinds of light…her hair that looks like auburn, the smile she only gives to you, her presence…

“I just…I need you, Wands.”

You feel a certain pull as you exhale…it’s not uncomfortable. It’s wam, and soft, and smells like flowers. It disappears before you can sink into that feeling.

“Maybe I did it wrong?” You ponder, tugging at the hem of your pajama shirt.

“No no. You’re fine.” A chuckle bubble out, and scratching is faintly heard. “It just takes a few seconds,”

You turn around at the sound, and you see her, in a sweatshirt and pajama shorts, remnants of red magic at her fingertips. Her hair in a half up, half down style. She’s stunning, even in pajamas she-

“You cut your hair,” You smile warmly.

She chuckles as you stand before her, running her freehand over auburn tresses that fell to her shoulders. “Got a little long for my liking. I just needed a change.”

It suits her, and it makes your heart beat a little faster when her smile meets her eyes.

“I thought you would emerge in red smoke to be honest.”

She snorts, a common accompaniment of her laughter. “I promise to do more showmanship when you summon me, dekta.”

She sees the difference in you, how your fingers twitch, how you’re not yourself. She kneels before you. “But i don’t think that’s why you called for me, hm?”

Wanda always sees through you, how your eyes don’t have that sweet light that she wants to immerse herself in every time she’s with you.

She extends her hand over to your cheek, the magic long gone. “Are you okay?”

You lean into the touch, closing your eyes and really breathing for the first time in this whole day.

“I know this is the last thing that you’d want to do on your evening,”

She wants to say it so many times so it can get though to you. That she’d do anything to just get a mere second of your attention, your time, your love.

“I just…i feel off…everything’s on, and I’m off.” You felt one of many weights released off your shoulders, and the others roll off. “And I can’t sleep, or stop thinking, or worrying and it’s so much…”

Her eyes soften as she listens to you, her hand never leaving it’s place, never losing her connection to you, your voice, everything that makes you…you.

“I just…I know I made this big deal over boundaries…and it’s stupid I’m doing this..” You bite your lip, the pressure making you drift off, but ground yourself surprisingly.

“Nothing you do is stupid...” Her tone is so gentle, so warm and safe, it’s everything you need. “Please…what can I do to help?”

You press your forehead to hers, and she doesn’t pull away. “Can you be here? Jus-Just to sleep..you don’t have to.”

You think how crazy it is, her being here, right in front of you. She’s really…here. You think-you know, you don’t want to let her go…

“Please, stay?”

Not yet.

“Yes.” She answers. “Always.”

It makes your arms wrap around her on instinct, you feel her palms rest on your waist, gently carrying you to your bed. You pull the covers away from the mattress, and you feel the soft plush dip as you settle in.

“Comfy?” She whispers in the dead of night.

You hum softly, burrowing yourself in the covers “Mhm.”

It’s so nice, the warmth near you. She smells so sweet, her hands, hovering over your cheeks makes you want to lean your face against her, wanting every little bit of her that she gives you.

“Hey,” she whispers.

You look up, tired eyes glazing over vibrant blue-ish green.

“Just let me know if you want me to-“

You gently tug her closer, searching for warmth that’s just within arms reach. She happily obliges, her arms wrapping around you like it’s second nature.

It feels nice. How her scent doesn’t make you sneeze or turn your nose in disgust, how her hair gently touches your face, how her lips are near centimeters apart from your temple.

It’s more than nice, it makes you brave, safe…cared for even in these precious moments.

“Sorry, I just-“

“Please, no more apologies.” Wanda laughs gently. Her breath tickling your ear. “There is nothing wrong with asking for what you deserve.”

She wants to give you so much more.

“How…how did you know?”

Wanda raised an eyebrow, before gently brushing stray strands away from your sleepy face. “Know what?”

“How did you know it was me?”

She knows the answer. Because it was you, the one person that held so much power over her. It’s terrifying, how a human could make a witch higher than the sorcerer supreme fall to her knees. How your smile can replace the sun, how everything about you means the world-becomes her world.

She wants to say it so badly, but her lips don’t move to form words.

Wanda gingerly takes your hand, and that safe feeling returns like a weighted blanket on your shoulders, no more fear, no more worrying for the night, for now…

It’s okay. 

She holds your hand like it’s a work of art, and it is, thumbs caressing your knuckles, a smile working on that perfect face of hers.

“I always know if it’s you,”

The answer satisfies you…and with satisfaction, comes a pregnant pause.

“Do you…mind staying a little longer?” A yawn interrupts your thought process. “Until morning?”

She tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, before pressing a small kiss to your forehead.

“I’d be happy to.”

[starryparchments]

Does anyone else make up fake scenarios every night when they’re trying to sleep or do i need therapy

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not sure if you’re currently taking requests, but if you’re up for it: a really soft fic where reader accidentally caused a causality on the field (some random person or child whatever ur comfortable with) and nat finds her like spacing out and stuff afterwards and she just comforts the heck out of her 🥺 similar vibe to your learning fic which was freaking amazing btw

Thank you so much for the love :) i hope you enjoy the story. I swear my meaning of soft changes, and I promise there will be a fluffy fic soon, but for now, just enjoy crying with this ;)

Warnings: death of a child, angst with a happy ending, bombs, sad reader.

You’re off.

You’re not sure, but somethings off.

It makes you think about everything that happened, once, twice, three times. It makes you think that there was a plan for a reason, a plan that you and Steve spent weeks planning just to make sure everything went to the T.

Nothing was supposed to go wrong, it was good, on paper, even in reality, it was good.

But neither of you planned the enemy would strike when you least expected it. When there were children playing in your location, how you jumped to action and tried to scoop up every little one that was being covered in debris.

How a child pleading for their stuffed animal in a state of shock and wanting a little comfort could cause a causality. A bomb laced right underneath it. Easily forgotten when you focus on a child’s needs.

“Please!! I need Tigress!”

“It’s okay, I’ll get it for you, but I need you to stay close to me. I’m sure tigress would be sad if you got hurt, hm?.”

It’s hard to keep a warm smile, but you persist, and get an nod of agreement.

“I promise,”

Death was a necessary evil, but what person could stoop so low to kill a child, a human being still learning to grow, to live, to love.

The bomb that should’ve never went off.

You think it’s your fault, and it haunts you as you sit here, safe and not at all sound in the infirmary.

Your injuries were mild, but it warranted a visit to the infirmary when you had hit your head on a hard surface.

You didn’t even know Natasha was there until you heard her pushing Steve quite roughly aside to get in the room.

She refrains from touching you, hands firmly at her sides like a solider until the doctor says you’re in the clear. Any other time, it would make you smile, how attentive she was, just waiting for a sign of good news.

But all you can think about is the child that should be reuniting with their mother. How Steve has to find and visit the family to say that their child’s last moments was putting their faith in an avenger to save their stuffed animal that was caught in the crossfire.

How you tried, despite your better judgment to try and save the one thing that could give that sweet person the finest bit of comfort in a situation like that. How you wished you had been more cautious and told them that you couldn’t save it.

Nat sees something shift as she waits, how your eyes divert to different areas of the recovery room, not completely here, present in the doctors assessment, only giving short and easy answers.

You’re lost in thoughts, and for the moment, you’re alone. Wondering, rewinding in your mind what could’ve changed in your judgment, what could’ve changed to just…keep everyone alive.

It feels like forever until you get an “all clear” and it feels like a prison sentence when you’re off duty for two weeks. Like a punishment for not being safe, for worrying about a damn-

“Hey.”

You look up to meet forest green eyes, and for a few seconds, it’s okay.

“Talk to me?”

Tears leak out of your eyes faster than you can stop them, and you’re gently pulled into an embrace that elicits a choked sob, a sob of pure anger at your recklessness.

Her hand rubs up and down your back in soothing motions, never shushing you, your muffled cries echoing the room.

“Just breathe…”

It hurts, it hurts to breathe after promising a child that they’ll get their stuffie back, and seeing nothing but the body a few feet after that bomb.

It hurt to know that you broke an unspoken promise to the family that their child was safe with an avenger, with you. It hurt to know that the family has to mourn a loss over an innocent human being instead of a stuffed animal that could be replaced.

“It was just a child…” you whimper. “They just wanted their toy, and those fucking agents put a bomb under the damn thing!”

It’s cathartic, crying and pouring your sorrows out to her, but it’s the comfort of knowing that she listens to everything you tell her. It’s the safety that Natasha always brings when you’ve had moments like this.

“And it was not your fault.” She responds. “I promise, it was not-“

“I could’ve looked, I could’ve done something!”

“No one would’ve thought they would stoop that low,” her tone remains gentle, but there’s a firm belief laced in there. “No one would’ve thought that getting a toy would cause that.”

You know deep down, there was nothing you could’ve done differently to save both of your lives. You feel the Russians hands on your cheeks, wiping the tears that are resting on that pretty face of yours.

“I…I just..”

She knows it’s not the right time to tell you that despite everything in your head that was telling your other wise, nothing could’ve changed the outcome. Nothing would’ve stopped the child from getting what they wanted other than you retrieving it, nothing could’ve stopped a trigger bomb.

“I know…” She gently presses her forehead against yours. “I know”

She remembers how it feels all too well. Being on both sides never made it any easier.

“I promise, it’s not your fault. No one blames you.”

You don’t answer, too overcome by that grim feeling that makes your heart hurt. The darkness that takes over after everything mission gone wrong. It was inevitable at times, everyone had their moments.

“I’m right here…just breathe, we’ll get though this together.”

But maybe you didn’t have to endure it alone. Not anymore.

You wrap your arms around Natasha in response.

“Together.”

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comfy bed. take me home. to the place. where i belong. pillow blanky. sleeping soundly. take me home. comfy bed

[starryparchments]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[starryparchments]

Thank you for the tag dove💛 Here are some of my all time favorites!!!:

@lynxwhispurrs @scarlettwlw @sanguine-saber @maximotts @wandaromanova @thewidowsghost @simpfornatasharomanoff @idkwhygregg @yellowvxbes @natsfirecat

I love each and every one of your stories! Thank you so much for using your minds to cure me of plenty of moments I needed a good read!

okay so we all have those writers that we read their stuff and we’re like “THIS IS.. THIS IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THIS.” and everytime they upload a fic you get all happy and excited to read?

so here’s my idea! tag those writers that make you that way!! <3

here’s some of my favorite writers!!:

@thewidowsghost @agathaslittle @captains-simp @bonkie-barnes @blkmxrvel @kassxndre @starryparchments @supercxrpschild

and many, many more! thank you all for creating such amazing fics for me to read, i love all my fellow writers!! <33