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UNTITLED

Noong bago ang lahat kung saan tayo ay masaya at kuntento sa isa't isa, Ipinangako mo na ika'y hindi mawawala sapagkat ako ang nais mong makasama. Noong labis ang pagmamahal at buong-buo ang tiwala, Ipinaramdam mo na walang bibitaw at walang magsasawa. Noong sa akin lamang nakapako ang iyong mga kumikislap na mata, Ipinakita mo na kahit sino pa man ang dumating ay ako lamang at walang iba. Ngunit tila ikaw ay nagising sa katotohanan na hindi lang pala ako ang kailangan mo. Tila ba kahit anong pagbigay ko ay hindi ito ang ninanais mo. Tila ba hindi ka na nakukuntento sa ibinibigay kong pagmamahal at pagmamalasakit sa iyo. Tila ba ika'y nasasakal na sa mga pagpuna ko sa unti-unti mong paglayo. Tila ba mas nagugustuhan mong wala ako sa paningin mo. Tila ba mas masaya ka na wala ng... ako. Patawarin mo ako mahal kung pilit kong isinisiksik ang sarili ko sa iyo. Patawarin mo ako kung gusto ko na sa akin pa rin nakapako ang mga mata mo. Patawarin mo ako kung minamahal kita ng buong-buo. Patawarin mo ako kung ninanais ko pa rin na lumaban kahit ramdam ko na ang iyong pagsuko. Paano ko ba lalapatan ng mga salita ang isang usapang wala nang patutunguhan? Paano ba kita hahawakan kung unti-unti ka nang bumibitaw sa ating pagmamahalan? Paano maayos ang mga lamat na dulot ng ating masalimuot na nakaraan? Paano ipararamdam na gusto ko pang lumaban kung lahat ng ito ay iyong tinuldukan? 📝 7.6.17

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The Last Letter

The first time we met, I didn’t think much I thought you’re a visitor, cause you behave as such When I learned more about you, I was filled with awe You are the most innocent thing that I saw

I just thought you a friend, because I didn’t know then That I really want you, but not as a friend Went things went downhill, I took it as a chance To get to know you more and see you more than just a glance

We were talking, chatting, conversing on the net Night calls and video calls, you’re always ready to set Until one day I realized that something wasn’t right I can’t stop thinking about you, every day and every night

I got confused and thought if what I’m feeling was real If I’m really inlove, or a dream that is just surreal I did everything I could, to pretend that I’m not Inlove with this girl whom I’ve talked to a lot

But each day the feeling just gets more and more real I am really inlove and it’s really what I feel The next day I argued myself until the night The night where I tell you that I love you all this time

I courted you for days, and kissed you under the full moon Waited for you at school even if it’s late past noon The day finally came, when you said yes to me I was so happy that day, I went home filled with ecstasy

Because the girl I loved so much before Is now my girl forever more It’s a perfect relationship, I must say Even with arguments and jealousy along the way

And then mistakes happened because of immaturity And the things I sacrified to get her back again to me I’d do anything for her and stay until the end And prove to her I’m worthy to be her boyfriend

Because anytime soon I’m sure I will be The one that my girl will sure to marry I love you my girl, my life and my everything For our future and our family I’d do anything You are the best gift I have ever received You make me happy when you hold me My days are so perfect when I’m with you And you make it less gloomy when I chat with you

Everytime you smile I fall inlove again Everytime I look at you I see my future wife ❤ Every night I dream of you wearing that wedding gown Walking with your father down the aisle, bringing you to me

Saying our “I do’s” and then kissing on the scenep

Mahal na mahal kita Justine Nicole ❤ Forever and always ❤ ❤

Written by the man of my heart

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Fights, Lies and Doubt

When the sun rises I say I love you's. When the sun sets I say I hate you's.

Morning and early hours we were so in love with each other. Night and late hours we became distant to one another. I don't know what happened to the "always and forever" I don't know if we could go back the days we're fine together.

Staying in a relationship with you that is filled with love feels like fairytale and heaven. But love without honesty and trust feels like everything will just come to an end. And hurts like hell that when I was about to let you go you chose the same way, too. I can't blame you my love, hearing all my rants and doubts about you made you tired and wanted to give up.

It's true that love is sweeter second time around. It's just that a second chance will not work both for the both us. We'll just continue to hurt each other emotionally and I cannot bear to see you feeling helpless for all the arguements we had. Letting you go and setting you free were the least things that I'd rather chose to do. But my love, you deserve a girl that trusts you and loves you enough. I'm sorry for all the mistakes and doubts I had thrown at you.

My love for you is huge enough for me to give you your life, alone. Without me being your paranoid past girlfriend. I don't want you to feel the same what I felt before when you first left me. Be strong. You'll find her soon. Je t'aime, mon amour.

📝blackmoon

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Lumisan ka at kinaya kong mabuhay ng mag-isa. Natuto akong tumayo sa aking sariling mga paa. Ngunit tinahak mong muli ang daan pabalik akin, sinta. Akala ko'y wala na akong nadarama subalit pinili kong balikan ka.

Nakakatakot. Palagay ko ay mauulit muli ang nakaraan. Ang mga panahon na tayo'y masaya ngunit kapalit ay kalungkutan. Hindi ko mawari bakit nga ba ako'y muling tinamaan. Bakit nga ba ako sumusugal sa panibagong pagmamahalan?

Bumalik ka at sinabi mong ako pa rin laman ng iyong puso O bumalik ka lang upang malunasan ang puso mong nalulungkot at nagdurugo? Dahil mahal napakasakit na sa bawat matatamis mong mga salita, Ang natatagong katotohanan sa mga ito ay pawang mga kasinungalingan.

Mga kasinungalingan na pinipili kong huwag pansinin at intindihin Dahil pinaniniwala ko ang aking sarili na ayaw mo lamang na saktan ang aking damdamin.

Mahal, hanggang kailan? Hanggang kailan mo ako lolokohin at paniniwalain sa mga mabubulaklak na salita? Hanggang kailan ako magiging bingi at bulag upang hindi lumabas ang luha sa aking mga mata? Hanggang kailan ako aasa na darating ang araw na ako lang at wala ng iba? Hanggang kailan?

🖋04-02-17

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ROSE THORNS || JNAM 📝🌹 01-29-17 Am I capable of taking risks again, for you? Are you capable of fighting, for me? Are we both capable of healing each other? Will the wind allow me to go near on you? We're still both roses that are full of thorns. I am trying to reach out on you knowing that I might end up getting pricked by your thorns. I might bleed. And for sure once the cut gets deeper, I will be needing much more time to recover from that bleeding. Making a scar that might be forever marked in me. You are wonderful, really. You are a beautiful piece of nature-art. You are that type of rose that blooms and very much attracting everyone's attention and love. However, being the same flower as you makes me to choose whether taking the risks with those thorns or being able to touch your beauty and accepting your every flaws. I admit that I am so close to you that with just a gentle wind, it will bring me closer to you, to your thorns. I want to go with the wind for you but I know I shouldn't. I shouldn't and I am torn between letting you to wound me yet letting me feel your love or fighting against the wind and just stay on my own place -- being contented in our distance and relation. So tell me, will you give me the permission to go with the wind and will just accept and learn from the scars of the future? Because I'm that kind of scarred rose, not afraid of welcoming a new bleeding caused by your thorns. *photo not mine - ctto*

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"GUSTO KO" (by JNAM) Gusto kong umasa Gusto kong magbakasakali Gusto kong kumapit Gusto kong manatili Gusto kong umasa na baka maaari mo pa akong mapansin. Na baka kapag patuloy mo akong nakakausap ay malimutan mo na siya. Na baka ako naman ang maalala mo sa bawat araw na dumarating sa buhay mo. Na baka mapadaan din ako sa isip mo sa oras na hindi tayo nagkakausap. Gusto kong magbakasakaling may puwang ako sa buhay at sa puso mo. Na baka darating din ang araw na hahayaan mo akong makapasok sa mundo mo. Na baka may pag-asa pa akong makilala ang buong pagkatao mo. Na baka hayaan mo rin akong maging parte ng buhay mo. Gusto kong kumapit sa'yo dahil baka bumitaw ka na sa kanya. Na baka pag naramdaman mo ang kamay ko ay hahawakan mo na rin ako. Na baka kapag hindi na siya ang hawak mo ay ako naman ang ayaw mo nang pakawalan. Gusto kong manatili sa piling mo dahil baka kapag umalis ako ay mas paniniwalain mo ang sarili mo na pwede pa kayo. Na baka pag hinayaan lang kita ay isisilid mo na naman ang sarili mo sa kahon at hindi mo na mailabas ang iyong sarili. Na baka kapag tuluyan nga akong nawala sa tabi mo ay hindi mo na ako maalala. Pero tama ba na ikukulong ko ang sarili ko sa isang lugar na alam ko naman na hindi na ako makakalaya? Tama ba na sayangin ko ang oras ko sa mga pagkakataon na alam kong wala akong mapapala? Tama bang kumapit ako sa isang bagay na alam ko naman na sakit lang ang idudulot nito? Tama ba na paniwalain ko ang aking sarili na darating pa rin ang pagkakataon na ako naman ang mapapansin mo? Ang hirap manghula. Ang hirap maghintay. Ang hirap maging tanga. Ang hirap umasa. Ang hirap magmahal. Ang hirap. Sobrang hirap. Sana sa pagbitaw kong ito, nariyan na siya upang saluhin ka. Sana sa pagbitaw kong ito, magkaroon ka muli ng kalayaan para makapiling siya. Sana sa pagbitaw kong ito, mamahalin ka na rin niya. Sana sa pagbitaw kong ito, hindi na ulit kita lilingunin kapag sinambit mong muli ang ating mga alala.

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THE PIECES OF ME TO YOU By JNAM Jan 14, 2017 The pieces of my heart are nowhere to be found yet here I am offering what's left in me. I'm trying to fix yours knowing that I'm still broken. Putting back those pieces of your heart together and fitting mine to replace what she has taken. I, myself is not healed but I'm taking a big risk to die again to save you from dying because of her. You're pushing yourself to her and so am I to you. Cliché, right? You love her and I lo--, no. This is not that kind of feeling or emotion or whatever you want it to call. But hey, I know to myself that dying again for the second time because of you is worth it. And yes, call me a martyr or masochist, I am more than willing to give it all again. You said it clearly, didn't you? You're not the right person for me ('cause you think that you're made for her and only for her). I'm not requesting you to choose me because no matter what I will choose to be beside you while you're recovering. I'm just simply here for the reason that I want to help you. I want to help you to get her. I want happiness for the both of you. I want you to have a happily ever after with the girl you love. I want you to be loved by her. And I want you to allow me to do this for you because this is the least thing I can do for the man who will never chose me.

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I only said it cause I mean it I only mean it cause it's true

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Is it worth to give love another shot?

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One step closer One step closer I have died everday waiting for you Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years

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Sa Iyong Pagbabalik Sabi nila mas matamis daw ang pag-ibig sa ikalawang pagkakataon. Tama nga ba ang pananaw nila? Dapat ba akong maniwala? O dapat na akong bumitaw nang tuluyan? Bumalik kang muli. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang iyong dahilan sa muling pagpaparamdaman. At nangyari ito sa hindi ko inaasahang panahon. Sa panahon kung kailan ang akala ko ay wala na ang sakit na dulot ng kahapon. Akala ko wala na. Akala ko tapos na. Akala ko masaya na. Akala ko lang pala. Salamat sa panggagambala sa aking tumigil na nararamdaman. Salamat dahil binabalik mong muli and pait ng nakaraan. Salamat dahil ito na naman ako, nakararamdam muli ng pagdududa. Salamat na ika'y bumalik sa panahon na ako'y sumuko na. Ngunit huwag kang mag-alala, hindi na ulit ako magmamakaawa upang ako naman ulit ang piliin mo. Huli na ang pagsulat kong ito. Sapagkat tatapusin ko na ang nadarama na dapat ay matagal nang tapos. Written by: JNAM 14:51 Jan 6, 2017

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Stressed. Tired. Fucked up. Broken.

Get up, girl. Being stressed in life is normal. Being tired of all those shits is normal. Being fucked up for some reason is normal. Being broken because of someone is normal.

But staying in your devasted state is not normal. You can cry and shout. You can do anything you want to lessen the pain as long as you won’t hurt yourself and the people around you.

Move on. Be strong. You got yourself. Be positive and have faith with Him ☝️️💙

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"Naghihintay Ako Sa Iyo, Mahal" Mahal. Mahal kita. Ikaw lamang ang aking sinisinta. Hindi ko magagawang magsawa Sapagkat sa'yo ako nakararamdam ng ligaya at tuwa. Pangako ko na ikaw lamang ang iibigin. Pangako, hindi ako magsasawang ika'y hintayin. Nandito lang ako lagi sa iyong tabi, Hindi kita pababayaan na umiyak muli tuwing gabi. Ako ang pupunas ng iyong mga luha Dahil ayokong makita na hindi ka masaya. Ako ang magsisilbing liwanag mo At ako ang magsisilbing sandalan mo. Maniwala at magtiwala ka lang akin Mamahalin kita ng walang kapalit. Hayaan mo akong iparamdam sa iyo Na ikaw lamang ang aking mundo. Kaya aking sinta, kahit gaano man kitang katagal na hihintayin Alam ko na darating pa rin ang araw na ako'y iyong mapapansin. Magtiwala ka ulit sa iyong puso Dahil nandito lamang ako, handang sumalo. Written by JNAM (Jan 7, 2017)