straightmansummer

[straightmansummer]

The beauty of tumblr is that some people here think that cigarettes get you high and drinking once a week makes you an alcoholic, while others here started smoking at 13 and wouldn't even consider ketamine a drug because everyone does it. And both of them are on tumblr blogging about TV shows from 2005.

[straightmansummer]

sometimes when a movie starts there is a scary lion but don't be scared

[straightmansummer]

during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

[straightmansummer]

when me and my boyfriend make meals we have a tradition of sending each other unappetising off-centre photographs of them in poor lighting. we call this "wikipedia food".

[straightmansummer]

i’m le.arning so many rules toda📝y

[straightmansummer]

The friends that are chronically 30 minutes late are so important to have because they teach u patience and the meaning of loving someone so much u let ur anger go. I have not mastered either yet but I’m sure it’s coming

[straightmansummer]

Aliens arent gonna visit us til we get all the fucking dirt off our planet its gross

[straightmansummer]

me: hey man welcome in what can i get you

guy who jerks himself blind every night to the characters from a flossing based gacha game where all the girls are bits of food stuck in the teeth of the demiurge and you can like feed the demiurge different meals to change the pool of waifus you’re pulling from and their names are all like “stringy chicken” and “wet cheese crumb” and shit: just a black coffee please

[straightmansummer]

[straightmansummer]

"what groceries u been into recently" is actually a great question, there's a bunch of good conversations inside it

[straightmansummer]

[straightmansummer]

when my dad’s nervous he watches the game from outside

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[straightmansummer]

well thank you for making me cry with your hbo comedy show nathan fielder

[straightmansummer]

she is 9 pounds

[straightmansummer]

every single person on our planet has at least one fictional character that will make them install fortnite