stupendousconnoisseurpuppy

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

Muse... Muzan Kibutsuji x Reader

Was this meant to be written in time for new years? No one knows. (I'm certainly not willing to tell)... Instead this shall be written in commemoration of the fact that Season 2 Muzan is just as gorgeous as ever... (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ

Warnings: Demons will be demons...

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Ah, the deadly allure of Infatuation. What other emotion was so frequently documented as culprit of the famous literary death of so many a star-crossed couple? … Of course, you scratched condescendingly into the yellowed pages of your diary, you’d have to be a fool shackled by your own gargantuan imagination to come to such an avoidable end at the cursed hand of sentience.

But… What if you were wrong?

Perhaps you were mistaken… Perhaps one could only understand the power of such emotion until you yourself were found drowning in their waters.

Perhaps… you were just a lonely bum writhing in jealousy with nothing better to do than condemn those that found the happiness you so eagerly penned? Eager might have been an overstatement, but what else could be said? Poetry was a dying profession and the swift marriage of a poor salary and increasing taxes had never been known to wait for the meeting of one’s financial ends… If the primitive, untrained public eye wanted a thousand recreations of the same ridiculously tragic and sentimental “boy meets girl”, then if they were willing to pay… that’s what they would get.

Yes, a poet you were, writing under the charm and mystery of an obscure Penn name, though to be fair it needn’t have mattered for the public to know of your true identity, your meagre sales would probably have remained… just as meagre.

In reality your pessimism prevented you from seeing that they weren’t all too bad, however, the truth of the matter was that luxuries were non-existent and only a little above the bare minimum resources entered your sombre circle of life... You might have remained content (for at least you were surviving, no?) … provided they reduced the ridiculously, unreasonably, treacherously high salary of the bastard who was writing the Taisho era equivalent of erotic fanfiction next door!

But what could be said? A lone poet fighting against the desires of man and emerging victorious? An impossible feat! Of course, public demand for his work was high! (It just pissed you off… allot.)

Still, the question remained – was there no other use for your talents? Could you too not tread the path of success, pandering to the whims of the masses?

… No and… no. For you were far too bashful, and you also happened to be rubbish at just about everything else.

That is how you ended up your current predicament, and in response to your unfortunate situation; writing tirelessly of your woes to (somewhat) alleviate your pain. Overcome with a sense of lassitude and your reserve of creative juices virtually empty, you sought to insult the hand that fed you - quite literally - and vent about the idiocy of the subject the public forced you to write about over and over…. nevertheless, you found that on this such occasion your aired frustrations were doing nothing to lighten your sour mood.

So, in spite of yourself you braved the frosty evening air in order to collect the ingredients for dinner and, if fortunate, some inspiration for the romantic exploits of your next piece.

Inspiration was what you were after, eh? Well… it seems the cosmos had taken that rather literally…

It had been less than five minutes of walking down the illuminated market path before-

Oh ho? What’s this? The living embodiment of Adonis? An angel amongst men? An impeccably crafted lifeform?

You had been captured. Captured at once by eyes with the rare colour and glow of the most splendid rubies, a fine and rich carmine with all the vitality of the blood that flowed through your veins… by the soft, well-kept, chocolate tresses that bounced gracefully with every calculated movement of his person, and by the well pressed, conspicuous western attire – an obvious display of wealth and meticulous personality.

Certainly, a sight to behold.

Enlightenment had come… In the form of a muse, and it was exactly like the cheesy epics said it would be.

So Romeo and Juliet wasn’t just a bunch of sycophantic nonsense! And Shakespeare wasn’t on drugs when he happened to write it! That wise old codger!

With that your need for dinner had been forgotten in favour of the beauty of this mysterious stranger. How many had such a man attracted with his otherworldly visage alone?

And like a moth to flame, you were unashamed to admit you were concerningly close to becoming one of his victims.

You weren’t exactly sure what business you had following him, but the least you could do, you reasoned, was thank the man that had provided you, first-hand, with poetic inspiration for years to come. Never had you understood with more clarity the appeal of the feelings that brought two parties in a romantic union together... Until now.

You rounded carelessly into the eerie darkness of an alleyway, smiling happily to yourself, eagerly awaiting the moment you’d once again be met with the wonderful vibrancy of-

Carmine.

Now, the sight before you – in an alternate universe - may still have provided you with all the necessary inspiration for your creative exploits…

Unfortunately, horror poetry wasn’t really your forte.

As isolated stood your handsome muse in a pool of another’s blood, adorned with glistening fangs, accompanied by equally as sharp claws.

And apparently, you’d disturbed the aftermath of quite the violent altercation.

In an alley.

Away from help.

Alone with what was clearly a demon...

In your final moments you took the time to curse the hell out of Shakespeare… the general public… and the well-paid bastard next door.

---

Was this your punishment, for pining after a creature of the night?

Now you were dead.

I guess you were right.

---

… Such was the deadly allure of Muzan Kibutsuji.

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[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

Back to back... Zenitsu X reader

This is a Kny modern AU starring our fabulous lemon boy Zenitsu!

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡(❁´◡`❁)｡.｡:+*

Enjoy~

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You were an… interesting individual to say the least. Not so much that you could be classed a scumbag, but you could unabashedly say that you enjoyed the occasional fight on public transportation as much as the next person… It was a welcome distraction, one where you could pick sides and silently rate the insults exchanged between the involved parties. What you did not appreciate however, was being caught in the crossfire.

You should have known of the chaos that would ensue as soon as you saw them get on the train. A weirdo in a boar mask. Check. Another weirdo, dressed like a lemon that looked like he was perpetually on the verge of tears… Check.

The last of the troupe looked normal, with pretty red hair and gentle features. But looks could be deceiving and judging but the fact that boar mask had repeatedly referred to him as an “underling” you knew his kind face was probably a façade and that they were in league with one another.

At the time their peculiarity had only served to spark your curiosity, allowing you to momentarily escape the monotony of your own life and enter into the world of their colourful attire and animated conversation. Boar mask or “Inouske” as you’d come to know by overhearing their discourse, was engaged in a histrionic display of attempting to jump out the window and pit his speed against this “beast” that was the train… probably an acting student. You’d also watched as the crying lemon tried desperately to restrain his eccentric friend.

Their idiosyncratic ministrations caused you to erupt in a fit of withheld giggles and made you wonder of the interesting adventures that would arise from being a regular in their company.

Such was the blissful state of ignorance you found yourself in. But once enlightened you’d come to realise that it was not acting, nor anything cultured that functioned as Inouske’s motivation for wearing such bizarre animal skin, but rather to hide a glaring absence of brain cells.

The start of the era of aforementioned “enlightenment” was commenced by raised voices, for a few incoherent shouts later and you had realised you were witnessing the beginnings of an argument… about what, you could not tell.

A couple moments later the lemon and the boar were engaged in a heated exchange whilst the man you’d come to know was named “Kamaboko Gonpachiro” had restricted Inouske by the underarms. Again, you had almost been enjoying the front-seat experience but - to your own detriment - the boar slipped out of Gonpachiro’s grasp, and he sent the lemon flying in your direction.

You briefly heard a pained grunt of surprise, but you hadn’t the time to analyse the particulars of the sound any further as before you knew it his sturdy back had slammed into your face. In any other context you might have welcomed the notion of being smothered by built muscle, but you were on a rather stinky train going home and of all the empty cars you had to have been seated near some (newly regarded) boisterous fools and a drunkard singing Beyoncé.

Gone was the simplicity of an evening train ride. You get on, you get off. Bob’s your uncle. Was it too much to ask? Apparently.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. With murder on your mind, you pushed the lemon away from you and cupped your face. As if your body was sharing your mental vexation, blood started to dribble out of your nose and onto the train flooring. “WAAAAH! IM SO SORRY MISS,” he screamed. You decided to dignify his apology with a curt scoff; this fool has the audacity to look more distressed than me! “Save it, just leave me alone.”

Kamaboko was busy scolding Inouske and offered up his apologies along with a handkerchief, but you waved them off and told them to forget about it. They’re probably worried I want to press charges…

The lemon, however, completely ignored your dismissal, continuing to ask desperately for your forgiveness and for a way he could make amends (whilst Inouske snorted arrogantly in the background). You, in a wave of sympathy and despite initial annoyance, agreed.

That was how you ended up in a small coffee shop on the corner of a quiet road. What you hadn’t expected was for you both to become good friends and for it to become the spot for your regular rendezvous. You’d come to learn allot about the lemon you now called Zenitsu. He, despite occasionally being overbearing, had a kind heart and was quick to make you laugh, so you had asked if he wanted to meet again, he’d accepted (a little too enthusiastically), and you’d become increasingly fond.

There were also casual gatherings - on occasion - with the rest of his enigmatic companions, ones you enjoyed very much, but had always found such meetings could never allow you to hold the same sort of enthusiasm you did for the almost intimate setting you and Zenitsu would frequent together.

However, on one such visit to said setting, there had been something noticeably different about his behaviour.

These observations were substantiated by the understanding that you had recently come into the knowledge he was interested in you romantically to some capacity and – to your own amusement – it was becoming progressively evident.

He’d been fidgeting in his seat, fiddling with his hands, and tripping over his words. Not to mention the fact that he’d turned a bright shade of plum red. You subsequently decided to humour his antics and dissipate the tension.

“Stop blushing, it’s running your colour scheme.”

What, in your mind, served as a witty, ice-breaking, apprehension abolishing conversation starter was met with more blushing and followed by awkward silence.

Tough crowd…

“um … Yn-chaan” Eventually, his timid voice broke the silence and captured your attention.

“hm?”

“I- I like you.”

You smiled into the cup and took a long sip of your hot chocolate “Yeah, I like you too Zenitsu.”

“NO YN-CHAN NOT THE NORMAL LIKE-”

Rolling your eyes, you let out a laugh “I know what you mean…”

And I mean it too

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

Dear neighbour... Rengoku x reader

(Written mainly for comedic purposes... with a hint of spice (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

Enjoy!

(Warning : there are exactly two swear words d(-_☆))

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Your neighbour was a murderer.

Weapon of choice? Devilish good looks. Yes, you were absolutely convinced he was trying to destroy the female populace… and you had evidence; every woman that had the ultimate misfortune of laying eyes upon the man had their brain short circuit and soul separated from their body - if their unsightly drooling was anything to go by. He was indiscriminate, as not even the withering old ladies that inhabited the apartment complex were spared from his wrath.

You were the only exception, humanity’s last hope… at least, that’s what you liked to tell yourself.

But not even the hair that fluttered like raging fires in the wind, nor the clear, sun-like laugh that seemed to miraculously add years onto your lifespan could excuse his crimes. No, not even a form-fitting t-shirt that exposed the beginnings of a well-endowed abdomen would do the trick. For it was because of the fact that your lodgings were situated directly next to the lair of this evil mastermind, that meant you were poised to deal with the worst his cult - like following had to offer.

You could sympathise with them… up to a certain point. You’d have to have been a blind person, in the dark, with a blindfold on not to see that Rengoku Kyojuro was probably the finest specimen you would ever catch sight of. But you had well and truly passed that point, and their constant pleas to switch apartments, outright blackmail, and creepy notes trying to get you to divulge information you didn’t have, had brutally singed the last remaining hairs of your patience.

The worst of it was you couldn’t even tell the source of your frustrations to call off his pack of ravenous wolves as the fault belonged to the handsome son-of-a-gun for being so completely unaware.

Well, you’d had enough. In a fit of rage, you stormed towards his apartment and knocked upon the door. His reign of terror was to be vanquished… your crusade had started, and blood would be spilt.

Indeed… you had chosen the path of violence.

“Ah! Y/N – San! To what do I owe the pleasure?” He beamed, the warmth of his tone complimenting the equally as warm and depthless orbs that scanned you in innocent curiosity.

Violence? Never heard of the b*tch.

I mean, what were you going to say when he opened the door? Catch some self-awareness? How dare you not realise how drop-dead gorgeous you are? Of course not! Best to retreat and reconvene when you had a more viable battle plan… yes…

Satisfied with the excuse you’d concocted to appease the disgust at your own flimsy determination, you turned to the man in front of you.

“Nothing much, Rengoku – San…” You desperately scoured the depths of your consciousness and prayed that he’d buy your impromptu absurdity… “It’s just that… I… er… saw the crate of your sweet potatoes at the front entrance and wanted to remind you to pick them up!” It was a triumph that you’d remembered his monthly subscription of sweet potatoes - that came in offensively obnoxious crates - had been left downstairs (in the foyer) and cleverly used it as a scapegoat.

“It seems you’re mistaken, dear Y/N.” You almost grinned at the term of endearment, but realised you were currently in the middle of trying to exit the hole you’d dug for yourself... “One of the lovely ladies from upstairs delivered it to my door almost four hours ago!”

Well, Shit.

“So…” He gave you a once over “Want to tell me why you’re really here, dear Y/N?”

It was at that moment he’d simultaneously managed to end your [social] career, catch you red-handed, with your trousers down, and – with that same red hand – in the cookie jar.

The only way you saw fit to respond was with a colourful array of expletives followed by heartfelt (and slightly overexaggerated) explanations of the trauma caused through your dealings with his “fangirls”.

He too responded, this time with a hearty laugh.

“It seems I shall have to make it up to you, no?”

“Yea–” WAIT… what?

There was a slow creak of the floorboards when he leaned forward. The smoky sandalwood and citrus undertones of his cologne floated gracefully in the air, a heavenly melody that consisted of his baritone, silky-smooth voice kissed your senses as hot breath tickled the shell of your ear.

“Why don’t we talk about this inside?”

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

The son's warmth

Yandere! Hinata x Reader

Notes: This is my entry for @seijorhi's Deal with the devil collaboration~

Warnings: DARK CONTENT, Violence detail, injury detail, manipulation, kidnap, yandere.

Please refrain from reading if you are uncomfortable with the above!

That said, please enjoy!

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Generosity. You suppose it could be a bit of a double-edged sword.

Although in hindsight, all you had wanted was to care for the exuberant ball of sunshine you had believed was dealt a bad hand. Parents and younger sister deceased, orphaned at the tender age of 14 and placed in a less than ideal environment - one devoid of love.

You had always been one of a large sympathetic capacity and it had always been a goal of yours, born of the principle’s kindness and compassion, passed on by your parents and sanctioned by your entry into adulthood; allowing you to action your desire to care for a young child struck by tragedy…

You’re not exactly sure, however, how that’d landed you in the basement of your own house with a broken leg and shattered kneecaps.

It was to be expected you'd reasoned at first, you had defied common sense and made a deal with a less than savoury entity.

Too bad you hadn't considered the fact that demons could come in the shape of fair seeming, walking tangerines with an aptitude for overbearing affection.

To his defence (something you’ve now come to consider a very ironic concept) Hinata wasn’t exactly - as far as signatories go - the one you'd even made this... deal with. It had been his orphanage, an institution shrouded in fraud and doused in the bitter aroma of embezzlement that had sealed your fortunes in the form of crisp white adoption papers.

You didn’t mind his clingy nature, the crushing strength of his grip when his hand found - sought - yours… actions that could and would have seemed to untrained eyes like a misplaced and overwhelming sense of desperation, like the shock of betrayal carved upon his features when your focus wasn’t solely trained on him, or the unnerving intensity pooling beneath glittering brown iris’ whenever they met yours during his volleyball matches. Again, this was something you’d chalked down to an amalgamation of a passion for the sport, desire to win and an appreciation for the fact that his beloved mother had come to show him the support he had clearly lacked in the early stages of his teenage years.

After all, what was a guardian without unconditional devotion to their child?

He was the coolness of your eyes whilst paradoxically, providing an all-encompassing warmth (much like the sun) and with an ostensibly boundless supply of energy. Such was the ardour that made your heart swell with pride. It was just a terrible pity – in your case at least - that this energy he had was now being put towards severing your contact with the outside world.

Wanted to go outside? He’d want you to help him practice.

Meeting someone? He’d pout and complain.

How could you refuse? You’d naively attributed such possessiveness to the trauma of losing his family and would excuse such behaviour in consideration of the circumstance. It was only natural. You’d decided to be there for him, accepting the responsibility as soon as you’d inked your name on the dotted line… if he needed a little more attention, that’s what he’d get.

And so, the story progressed until towards the end of his third year of high school, he’d decided the affection you were providing him with, however plentiful, wasn’t nearly as satisfactory as he knew it could be. For you still to be surrounded by others must mean his slice of the pie was diminished in size and a growing boy such as himself needed all the nutrition he could get. He’d reasoned that the entirety of said “pie” belonged to him, anyway. Surely no one could chastise him for exercising a due right over his own property?

He didn’t want to be the occupant of most of your time, he wanted all of it… And it was to be brought to your attention as soon as he arrived home from school.

No sooner had he entered through the front door than he was skipping towards your location (in the kitchen) with a blinding smile on his face, proceeding to grip onto your shoulders with a force that clearly betrayed his cheery demeanour.

“What’s wrong Shoyo?” You queried.

He’d went on to detail how neglected he felt whenever you enjoyed the presence of anyone other than him “It feels like you don’t love me anymore!”, like he’s not good enough, y’know? But it wasn’t your fault, all you needed was the chance to see that he was fully capable of being the only one you needed to depend on.

You were, at first, inclined to think of such proclamations as some silly prank, followed by laughter, declarations of how well and truly you’d been fooled and fabricated in boyish mischievousness. You’d managed to ask as such, but the speed and surety of his response had you becoming increasingly concerned.

“Nope!”

You forced out a nervous puff of laughter, clutching at the rapidly burning straws of denial because surely, he couldn’t be serious, but your dismissal had only served to become the source of his irritation and he squeezed you harder, fixing you with a determined stare that could only have been described as no less than peering into your soul.

You had ignored the red flags and were getting your just rewards.

“Sho- stop that hurts!”

“Reeeeeally Okaa-san?!” He quipped with insincere concern “It hurts more when you don’t care for me…”

It was at this bitter intonation that you’d scrambled back in shock and had prepared your body’s primal function of flight in the direction of the nearest exit.

But were you really going to run away from him? Shoyo, your own child, the coolness of your eyes and springtime in the haggard winter of your life?

Yes, yes you were.

And you would have gotten away with it too, had not the subject of your internal conflict taken advantage of your moment’s irresolution. For in a ginger blur of motion you were on the ground, he had taken a hold of your leg…

SNAP

He roughly covered your mouth to silence the scream, pinning you down with the weight of his own body as hot, fat tears rolled down your cheeks. The pain was excruciating, but you wouldn’t feel it for long, as with a swift hook to the jaw you were out cold. It hurt for him to have to utilize violence on the one he cherished; however, it’d seem a tad counterintuitive for him to give you the opportunity to run away.

You’d forgive him, you’d come around. You always did.

He’d swept you up and carried you to the large basement of the house, gently placing you on a worn settee; sickly ochre in colour - the one you’d been meaning to dispose of for years. His actions were soft and caring and his thoughts clouded almost entirely with his overwhelming love for you.

In passing hours he observed your peaceful state mindfully as his core pulsated in the cosy warmth of his rib cage, imagining what a future found solely in each other’s embrace would hold… eventually you’d stay of your own accord, he reasoned. He’d have no need to harm you or to keep you under the low, flickering lights of the basement. Defiance would become a thing of the past. You’d realise how happy you are he’d made the decisions for you, both of you, together…

“Why?” That was a question you sometimes took to asking yourself; more out of pure, unadulterated boredom than anything else. Something you’d already explored the answer to but thought it better to keep your mind occupied with trivial matters than to succumb to insanity (or the intensifying ache of your battered legs).

On that same note, though, contact with the world outside wasn’t the only thing he’d severed.

At the time, such an observation had very nearly made you laugh (and you could probably blame it on the fact that you’d always been quite partial to the more gruesome forms of satire). It was in an impulsive burst of inappropriate and rather facetious humour that you’d wanted to entertain yourself in the recital of depressing hymns (expected, given the nature of your surroundings), to congratulate your stupidity and wallow deeper into the marshes your own self-pity; only to be met with the simple fact that you didn’t have the option.

Your tongue? Gone.

And it hadn’t been the work of the proverbial cat, but your own son, who – cheery as always – had explained that it was another necessary action to stop you from hurting yourself, done behind the ever-wise teaching that prevention was indeed, better than cure. Could you not see he only wanted what was best for you?

It was then you were sure he’d dangerously distorted his self-awarded role as your protector and had lost his mind.

“Okaa-San, Its aright…” He beamed whilst you’d engaged in silently cursing your weak will “You won’t feel a thing!” - he flashed a guilty smile - after I knock you out…again.

And you didn’t. He’d sutured the wound (with what you really didn’t want to know) and made sure you didn’t choke on your own life juices, patching you up like the loving, doting son that he is… It was your job not to worry about the extremity of his actions, as a mother that should do everything in their power to put their beloved’s mind at ease.

Saved from the fate of Exsanguination… shows how much he adores you right? Not that you'd had half the courage or audacity to end your own life in such a macabre fashion, but even if you hadn’t been relieved of the burden of speech; you weren’t one to shatter another’s fantasies - especially if they were high school athletes with inhuman amounts of strength.

In the passing weeks, your mind had dawned upon the realisation that no one was coming to save you - and did you even need saving? – for your parents were far too busy, friends far too distant and dashing officer that’d do everything in his power far too non-existent. Shoyo was the only one who had cared for you, providing you with physical and emotional sustenance you’d never thought you needed - maybe for the reason that he had made himself the only source.

Another thing you’d come to realise, this time regarding unintelligible murmurs, is that they are very much open to interpretation. So even though his barrage of saccharine words were met with your limited arsenal of what might be considered responses, they been understood as absolute agreement, alongside the reciprocation of his affections. Which, to be honest, wasn’t that far off from the truth, as it was by that point, you’d learned the path of resistance was futile and that you were beginning to get used to (and even bask in) the flattery and praise he showered you with, silently and psychologically solidifying the notion that he was yours and you were his.

“You’ll stay with me forever right, Okaa-San?”

He giggled, placing a soft, lingering kiss upon your lips as if he were certain of your answer. And so were you. However, when he looked at you, tenderly caressing your form there was something amiss, a dormant hunger that hadn’t been there before, one that when coupled with the intensity he’d always regarded you with gave birth to towering waves of nausea and accentuated the persistent throb of your injured legs as if in subtle warning…

But you could deal with that later.

Because, despite the fact that his, short, brilliant orange hair had grown long and luscious with time and his scrawny figure had evolved into a mass of lean muscle, he still looked to you … like he did the first day he entered your care. Young, innocent and without fault. Unfairly dealt a bad hand and with you tasked to be the provider of everything he never had. So, as per the contract signed…

You nodded.

After all, what was a guardian without unconditional devotion to their child?

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

What would they get arrested for? KNY Modern AU!

Warnings: Mention of crimes and violence (but not in detail), Awful puns/ attempts at humour.

Rengoku - Arson. Something about setting the houses of all who hurt Senjuro on fire really "set's his heart ablaze."

Shinjuro - Being drunk and disorderly. Probably swore at some passing kids and told them they'd never amount to anything.

Sanemi - Assault. For winding ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) a guy he got into a bar fight with.

Shinobu - Attempted murder. Of Douma.

Giyuu - Also, attempted murder. He'd gotten fed up and had quietly tried to drown Shinobu.

Tengen - Public indecency. For trying to show off too much of his "flamboyance."

Obanai - Assasination. Of some poor chap who looked at Mitsuri the wrong way.

Mirsuri - Stalking. (Although I feel this one is more of a misunderstanding...) Since she's too shy to talk to the one's she admires, she ends up just following them.

Gyomei - Manslaughter. (I mean, he'd never hurt anyone on purpose...) For not realising his own strength and accidentally killing a weirdo who had tried to lure some children into his car with sweets.

Inouske - Disturbing the peace. Trying to challenge and pick fights with everyone and their mother.

Zenitsu - Also, for disturbing the peace and yelling "NEEEEEEEZUKO - CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" at ridiculous hours of the evening.

Tanjirou + Nezuko + Senjuro - For being too adorable. It's just not legal.

Muzan - Crimes against humanity. For trying to wipe out a continent or the attempted destruction of the human race.

Also, Fandom deception. "If evil, why gorgeous?"

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

Should you trust them to look after a child/children? Pillars + Kamoboko squad HC's :

Pillars :

Tengen - Dresses them up in flamboyant clothes/jewellery, they are now officially part of his entourage... (may get a bit carried away, may also loose/drop [maybe both] one or two.)

Rengoku - As he is strong he's good at protecting them from threats and is popular because of his warm personality. Accidentally bursts their eardrums with his enthusiasm "HAHAHAHA! KAWAI!"

Muichirou - Even though he's a child himself I feel he would be good at looking after kids younger than him... in awkward silence...

Giyuu - Doesn't know how to look after kids, will try although I feel he may abandon them if they get too exasperating (in someone else's care of course). Probably acts like a tired dad.

Obanai - Probably hates kids and tries to stay away from them, but will reluctantly look after them if it is a necessity (at least they won't die ┐ (´ー｀ )┌). Expect a lot of "tch"-ing, children are probably fascinated with Kaburamaru... but are not allowed to touch him. (Sorry kids)

Mitsuri - Yyyyyyyyup! Loves kids and is great a looking after them. She loves squishing their soft cheeks and doting on them!

Sanemi - Scares kids and gets into lots of arguments with them. "What'd you say you little BrAT?!" I think he is secretly good at looking after children and will protect them because he is a massive Tsundere.

Gyomei - KING of child care, attends to all of their needs and is really dependable (His haori is made of dad material). He's large so he can hug multiple kids at once and perches them on his shoulders.

Shinobu - Knows how to take care of small children and can tend to all of their medical needs, has a light personality so she can keep them entertained. She'd be kind to them but may encourage mischievous behaviour (all we know is that Giyuu is a likely victim) - has some experience because of her past with Kanao and the young girls at the butterfly estate.

Kamaboko squad :

Inouske - Would be too busy screaming and asserting his dominance as lord inouske (￣ー￣) to properly attend to their needs. He will dangle them from one leg ("Threat assessment") then lets the rest of the Kamoboko squad (Kamaboko Gonpachiro) deal with them: "Underling number 4 is weak so your merciful lord Inouske has given you the job of protecting them!"

Zenitsu - Don't. Kids end up looking after him as he clings to them in the presence of demons (like he did with poor Shoichi). They probably become his wingmen/women and witness (whilst standing there, drowning in second hand embarrassment) his bumbling advances on Nezuko. Will protect them physically (unconsciously) and has a kind heart, but its not a risk anyone sensible is willing to take.

Tanjirou - What can I say? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We watched the same anime. He's perfect with children, kind, gentle, and gets along with them (everyone) well, can look after them excellently because of the fact that he's experienced (as a boy with many siblings) and is more than happy to protect them from any threats. Best boy. ( • ̀ω•́ )✧

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

Kimetsu no yaiba: Dragons den! AU

Riiiight, So something that's been on my mind for quite some time has been a Dragons den! Kimetsu no yaiba AU (I think it's called Shark tank in America) where the pillars are multi-millionaires and invest in businesses of their choice...

I feel like Rengoku regularly invests in food businesses if he likes the product samples... "UMAI! Your product is absolutely delicious and your business proposition set my heart ablaze... I shall make you an offer!" (Has probably invested in a sweet potato snack company.)

When Tengen sees an idea that piques his interest he makes an offer right away (I feel like he may be quite frivolous with his money)... "Flamboyant Idea! I want 50% of your company in exchange for 300k!"

Giyuu is more sensible with his money so will, cool as a cucumber, proclaim that he is out as soon as he finds the businesses' sales projections are not up to standard... "I'm out." (Invested in a smart water company that has made millions since he first became a partner and is known for making good investment decisions.)

Sanemi would be mean to entrepreneurs if they mess up their sales pitch or if he feels their product is useless... "You won't make any sales on this crap. I'm out." (I feel like he asks for ridiculously high equity stakes - whilst being a cocky so and so - because he knows he is a valuable asset to any business.)

Muichirou is quite laid-back and doesn't always pay attention to pitches if he thinks they don't have outstanding prospects. (As the youngest pillar I feel he's heavily involved in the world of technology, searching for new technological innovation that appeals to upcoming generations and will make him the moneys.)

Shinobu is very medicine aware so I think she would have made her millions from that sector and is an expert in the field... "Ara~Ara~ This vitamin company of yours sounds interesting... I think I'd like to invest~" (Builds a successful global health brand and likes to rub it in Giyuu's face. Poor man)

I think Mitsuri would be a fashion tycoon with vast connections to well-known retailers, but she'd also be involved in the hair and cosmetic industries as well. Is really nice and will reassure entrepreneurs (I hate this word with a passion) if they get nervous... "What an exciting clothing company you've built, with excellent numbers to match! I'd love to be apart of the journey to help expand it in size!"

Obanai probably gets grumpy when the producer of the show says he can't bring Kaburamaru along, so takes it out on the unprepared business owners who can't tell him their profits and debts quick enough. Has a crush on Mitsuri so likes to share equity and make investments with her.

I think Gyomei is also very sensible when it comes to dishing out large sums of money for investments. Rarely gets into a fight over a company (Sanemi's getting into all of them) and listens to pitches attentively. (Likes kids so probably made his millions in the baby sector, so making clothing/famous and fun toys all kids want to play with.)

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

Masterlist :

Here is the collective list of all my writing~

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KIMETSU NO YAIBA :

Headcannons:

Dragons den! Kimetsu no Yaiba AU

Should you trust them with children? HC's

What would they get arrested for? Modern AU

Fics:

Dear neighbor... : Rengoku x reader

Back to back... : Zenitsu x reader

Muse... : Muzan Kibutsuji x reader

HAIKYUU :

Headcannons:

Fics:

The son's warmth : Yandere! Hinata x reader

KNB :

[stupendousconnoisseurpuppy]

~Welcome~ (✧u✧)

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Masterlist : (Split in accordance to fandom) [TBA]

Rules : (Applicable when asks are open) [TBA]

Asks : Closed

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Currently writing : Tengen x reader