subhrasarmasblog-blog

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED - 10

Music, Food, Drinks, Striptease artist. Oh well, this party seems to turn far more interesting than I thought. Erica threw this party as she had to share something. This happiness, I have been waiting to see this smile in her face so long. Meeting old school friends, nostalgia engulfed us as memories of childhood flooded our mind. Girls night party is way more fun, remembering silly things we did. How I cried after being rejected by my crush, Jennifer sat next to me consoling me whole night. Daisy had lot gossips about boy's hostel. She even had videos which was much needed to survive hostel life. We were all attaining puberty, according to school rules could glance boys only during break but we scanned them all within 30 minutes. Erica, Daisy, Jennifer, Nilopher and I have been best friends since 17 years. I turned and asked Daisy (who was busy selecting lipstick to seduce the strippers) why Nilopher is so Late? Daisy: May be she is not yet done with her Brazilian waxing. All laughing out loud. Erica: Help me to arrange the glasses, ladies. Make more space, for the boys to seduce us. A night for all single ladies. I asked : What single? You kicked Leonard out of your life? All encircled Erica as we didn't know why she threw this party. What happened to her and Leonard? ERICA: Why would I? Actually, I thought I can be with him but I realized I don't need a person now. He may be good but not for me. I was a free bird and I want to be a free bird again. I wanted to be happy with him and I was happy but not in peace. I asked, " Peace? If you were happy then you were obviously in peace. " Erica : For me peace is doing what I want to do. Sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone at all. But then, there is Leonard I have to explain him my mood. Why? Why can't I be in peace? Why can't people give me space? I am sorry I craved for a male.(giggles) Daisy: Did you tell him what you feel? Erica: Not exactly, I told him I don't want to be in a live-in relationship so asked him to leave. Daisy: That's women empowerment, shoo the boys when you don't need them. Lol "Girls stop laughing " I said as someone knocked the door. Erica rushed to open the door. Leonard stood at the other end. After a few moments of silence. Leonard : What do you think I am here for? Erica : (blank face) I don't know. Leonard : Are we in a relationship? You can't do this to me, Erica. I am a human. Erica : Of course not. I did nothing bad to you. I can suggest you something. Can we be friends with benefit? Leonard : Fuck your benefits and fuck you. Erica : Thank you. Leonard left, Erica turned towards us and she smiled. Her smile reminded me of old school Erica. Erica shouted "Time for the striptease artist, drinks and party." Still waiting for Nilopher.. Just my thought, "Stay single, stay in peace." Not mentioned but this party was to celebrate Erica's freedom. Cheers to breaking boundaries..... - END -

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED 9

I got a text from Erica. " I am leaving Leonard. I think I can't stand him anymore. " I felt so strange as we met many times but never did she mention anything such. I replied," Let's talk before you take a step forward. " She didn't text me back. I texted," I will be at your place this weekend. Meet you soon" SATURDAY EVENING I was ready to visit her place,locked the doors. As I was driving, I could remember how she used to call me every time she argued with David. Her love for David was so pure but then too she could easily cast him off. And now Leonard, can't she be static? All these thoughts encircled me. I reached her place, almost sunset, the magnificent prospects with its colour changing to orange. Feels like I am in peace but of course not. I was about to knock the door of hurricane. Pressed the door bell Erica came out, she was busy in her phone. She was giggling reading something. I felt everything solved. I said, " You irresponsible girl, made me worry so much." She smiled and said, "Best friends are worth sharing pain and pleasure." "Pleasure? Really, I don't know if I can give you so much pleasure like your man. " I said and she gave a hard look. " I am hungry, give me something to eat, Eri" She had packets of snacks. (All my favorite ones) Eri, Leonard is not yet home? No, he is out of station for a business trip. Can I know what made you turn mad and text me that way, Eri? I don't know. I have a lot of things going on, Ani. What? ERICA: I am tired of being in a relationship. I don't even know why I decided to be with him. May be I thought I could not handle myself alone. Sometimes it feels like I need to be free,boundaries you know. Argument over silly matters. He thinks we need to adjust many times. But why, I already ended up half of my life adjusting. I don't want to now, even I am not asking him to adjust. Be what you are, never did I ask him to give me extra time or anything, leaving his work. I never want to expect anything from anyone other than me. This words sounds useless I know but I can't point him right now as I don't have a valid reason. I said, " You are saying this because you fear. You fear to expect, fear that Leonard will turn out same as David. Expectations kills, you want Leonard to be with you but you hate to express. May be he won't understand what you want and you will end up hurting yourself. I know David had lot different habits but you shouldn't compare two individuals. He is giving you your space, admire him for this. And if you are not ready to be in a proper relationship, tell him. Face your problem, speak up." She nodded. ERICA: David has nothing to do,I already closed his chapter. Leonard is too straight forward sometimes and it hurts me. So I choose not to say anything. May be he doesn't feel the difference but I try to maintain slight distance at that time. I just want immense love but I can feel somewhere it's lacking. Love is not only about showering feelings in bed, many a times its about not hurting the counterpart." I said, " Friendship was a better term to name your relationship. What do you think Eri? Erica," I am confused. How can I decide separation alone now when we decided to be one, together? I am now the waves who wants to reach the shores but scared to be lost. " Nothing remains constant, even own feelings try to stab the heart which ones paved a way for their existence. I prefer to feel lonely by being single rather than feeling lonely even when in a relationship. Erica,let your heart decide this time and not some fleeting events. Erica , " I will let you know, Ani." (Silence prevails)

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED 8

Saturday night : I don’t work late but that day I had to. It was the last day of data submission and I was running out of time. My office was close to Furrow Sheets, so I thought of dropping a message on her number. “ Eri, I may be your unwanted visitor tonight. Better you don’t make any plans. “ Eri replied,“ Of course, you can bore me anytime. I have no plans. ” Around 11, I reached her place. I met Leonard for the first time. He was the one who welcomed me,though I expected Eri. Eri never described how Leonard looked. Tall, fair complexion and most importantly I found him attractive. He smiled and I could see a reflection of purity. He began,“ I heard a lot about you, Ani. How happy I am today, meeting the girl my lady loves most.” I smiled hopelessly. Erica entered, (a sigh of relief) “Where were you, leaving me alone? ” I almost grumbled. Eri,“ You little beast what happened? Leo made you uncomfortable? ” “ Shut up Eri, he is so nice person. ” I said. ERICA: Yes he is a good man. In fact a very nice person. You know he completes me. But. (she stops). Anyways, you had some emergency at office, you arrived so late? ‘But what? ’ I asked. I felt he was a great person. Yeah, last date of data submission so had to work late. ERICA: I know how tiring it is to work whole day. Just go and be fresh. I asked, "but what?" Erica: He is a great person but I am not his good lady. I do hurt him, many a times. He does everything for us, to make things better but I am the one who mess up things. What did you do, Eri? Leonard entered, “Will you mind ladies if I ask you to help me? Help me to arrange the dishes.” We moved to help him. I can say he cooked delicious. He made me comfortable, I felt like I know him since ages. He cared Eri more like his baby. If I had to define love now, I would say it is exactly what Leonard feels for Eri. I can’t read his mind but actions define more than words. After dinner, Leonard served us wine. “Eri seems good for nothing” I mocked. “Obviously not. Not every day she gets to meet her friend, so I thought she should get enough time to spend with you. ” Leonard said opposing my words. Leonard went to sleep after some time. We turned nostalgic, recalling our school days. Once we were caught drinking and how harsh authorities treated us. We were not allowed to sit together for a whole month. They canceled our outings and what not. ERICA SPOKE: Ani, what am I doing?I don’t deserve him, Ani. Can you see how good he is. (silence.. Eri was enough drunk by this time.. And I had scarcity of words) ERICA: He hates lies but I lied many times. My intentions were not wrong but the most important thing is that I lied. I am scared of so much love. Never thought he would be so caring. He never fails to make me happy whereas I stand there with a sea of sorrow. I am scared that some day he may regret. I don’t doubt my love but I am scared that I make him weak. I want to see him strong but at the end of the day he is hurt. I said, ’ This is the way you feel. He may not think the same. If he trying to make your bond strong why don’t you try. You cannot simply sit and cry that you are hurting him and pushing him away. You can stop making mistakes. Right?’ ERICA : You know what happened last Monday. I was at office, working. He sent me a bouquet of red roses. I was so happy, can't define. There was a card that read, “I love you princess.” I was so happy, I felt good the whole day. I thought I would surprise him that day cooking his favorite dish. I continued to work. At around 7 pm as I came back to my cabin, ready to return home, checked my phone. 11 missed calls, my phone read. I didn’t know what was going on. Leonard messaged me, “ I have been waiting for you. If you were busy you could have informed me. I never insisted you, be it our relationship or anything else. I am really hurt today.” I could understand nothing. I felt terrible and did nothing intentionally. I didn’t remember if we made any such plans the other day. To know what was going on, I called Leo. But he didn’t answer. So I packed my stuff, bouquet and headed to my place. Took a cab, I was staring at those tall buildings but the whole time I thought of Leo. I smiled looking at the card on the bouquet. I noticed there was something more written on the other side of the card. Oh Fuck. “ My lady, I booked a table for us in the same place where we went on our first date. Don’t be late, I will catch you there at sharp 5pm. I love you.” Who does such mistakes, Ani? I knew he won’t scold me but I could sense what kind of environment I would face. Nobody will trust that I didn’t check the other side or okay he may trust then what will he think? He will think that I am least interested so I checked only half. But that’s not true,I love him. I interrupted, “ What happened next?” ERICA: Depression prevailed. Everything happened as I expected. But he understood after some time when his anger subsided ,came to me, kissed my forehead. I said, ’ You are not the best one for him but he is .’ ERICA: I want to be his lady but.. (paused) Let time decide where I belong.. (smiles)

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED 7

Next morning as I woke up, half opened eyes, I could see Erica almost ready for her office. Eri, you do this every time. “What do I do, Ani?“Eri asked (although she was least interested to listen my words) “Every time you leave me alone in this haunted house. I am not very fond of your house. Look that shadow, it’s scary. Wait for me, I will be ready in seconds. ” I hurried to the bathroom. “Eri, I am ready. We can go now.” I said. But there was no one. I checked the whole house but could find nothing except the room keys and a stick pad which wrote, “ Don’t be a cry baby. I made your breakfast. Lock the doors and leave the keys under the welcome mat. And I love you sweetie. ” Tears rolled my eyes thinking she loves me so much. Oh I am not a cry baby. WEEKS ROLLED Few weeks later, I thought of visiting her new place. Called Erica Hey Eri. “Long time, Ani. I couldn’t miss you more.” Eri said from the other side. “Stop being so flirty with me, Eri. I may fall for you.” I said “Jokes apart, I am with Leonard. I will call you back very soon .” saying so Eri disconnected. It’s hard to understand couple issues for me. People forget friends for silly men. It’s not that I am against relationship but I don’t know how to start a conversation and to make a man fall for me. FEW DAYS LATER, I got a text message from Eri. ‘Pure Lane, Furrow Sheets, House 138. Friday Night, meet me if you have no other schedule. ’ I replied,’ Okay. Thankfully I have no plans. See you soon. ’ FRIDAY NIGHT, Nice house, Eri. “I know, Leonard helped me to decorate my place. ” Eri smiled as she said Am I now talking to David’s Eri or Leonard’s Eri? I almost taunted. But she is the bitch how can I forget. She has an instant reply. “ You are talking to your school friend who stood by your side since third grade. ” replied Eri How was your date that evening? It was not a date, Ani. “ So, you said you were with Leonard. If not that what it was? ” I turned curious.. May I explain? ERI STARTED, That evening Leonard suggested that he would help me decorate my room. He came home around 6. I made coffee… He helped me arrange my book shelf. My room could not look this good if he had not helped me. Finally when we were almost done, he sat on the sofa. I came near him with two bottle of wine. He placed the bottle on the table next to the sofa,pulled me close to his chest. Warmed my back, my heart started beating fast..faster. I didn’t want to stop, let go off all attached strings of past. I just wanted to live my present with Leonard. I moaned, he didn’t stop. We turned into one soul. Never did I think this was a mistake. It was my wish,my heart craves for Leo. I love being with Leonard. Next morning, David called me. Leo, should I receive his call? I asked wishing for a no. But Leonard trusted his girl and said, “ Receive. He may have some problems.” David started as I received, “ I miss you. I can’t be with anyone. I tried. Meet me once, trust me I won’t disturb you ever. I will turn everything right .” I said, “ I won’t. ” Disconnected phone call. “ Meet him for the last time, Eri” Leonard insisted. How can Leo let me go? I didn’t know but such thoughts revolved. I am meeting David,all I know I will be weak, broken and silent. I am not sure if Leonard really loves me. He is one emotionless man or he has blind faith on my emotions. I got ready, to face past whereas my present seemed to appear vague. A happy evening and a twisted morning. I want peace, a lot happened. ERICA PAUSED TO CHECK TIME, (CONTINUED) Ani, I turned weak at many points but now I had to decide. I called David over my place. He was happy. Leonard felt I need some privacy with David. I didn’t know why he felt so but he left and I didn’t stop him. As David reached. “Erica, I never thought you would let me know your address. But how happy I am today, I can’t express. ” “ Why are you here? Look I don’t have time to listen to same old stories. Broken pieces recognize love no more. As every thing expires, feelings do expire and you are a dead tale. If you think, this is ego don’t mistaken, it’s called cold-hearted. I don’t remember us anymore.” I almost screamed David said (almost sobbing) , “ Can you be less rude. I tried so much, you don’t even care?” “Last night I was with Leonard, do you even know what that means?” I said “Doesn’t matter, I need you that is all. ” David spoke these words. Silence filled the room. David sobbed. I forwarded the divorce notice. He tried to look into my eyes. I turned my face to the other end. He signed the notice. Bolted my past, and yes I am happy. ERICA STOPPED. I asked,“ what about your present? ” Eri smiled,“ Ani,right now it’s one romantic music but I want it to be a movie and not just one song .Don’t make people your priority, they will never value you. And Ani now I don’t expect from people. ” Hope Leonard doesn’t hurt Erica..

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED - 6

"Coffee is not just a drink but my source of survival." Eri spoke as she handed me the cup of coffee. I know but tell me your story now. "Gosh! you may die some day out of curiosity. (giggled) Life it is, Ani." "I have never met someone so strong, so relaxed. You are one true warrior. " I said. ERICA STARTS, " David insisted to drop me home. David said,"I know, I have no right to expect anything from you but let me drop you home. " Okay I won't mind. (On our way - music playing. Every night, in my dreams. I see you, I feel you... ... And my heart will go on and on Many a times we had eye contact.) We reached. David," I loved you. How can I wake up not listening your voice every morning? You are my heart beat. I will live thinking about us until I live. I wish you be happy. You deserve a better person. " I said," Love is not even meaningful without you. I used to wake up early just to see you asleep. You said I added colour to your life David but you turned colour blind. But I have to survive now. I waited for your love but I think life have some other plans, not love." " Eri, this is ego. You still love me. Be mine. Never will I hurt you. Leonard can never love you the way I do. Remember the first day I saw you, you came to our college for admission. Searching for the administration department and you turned to me asking me the route. You smiled and thanked me. How can I forget your smile? I missed my classes. Followed you, changed four T-shirts,just to impress you. You smiled and plucked a white hibiscus from the courtyard.. I continued, " Gave that flower to you saying I am impressed. I can remember everything but that makes life complicated. I am healing. Leonard needn't love me the way you loved. Leonard is nice to me that matters. I want a easy life, overdosed love already killed my confidence. " David stopped me. " Look today I am convincing my own wife to be with me. Time does change. Be happy with him. I tried my best to make you mine. (Leonard calling.. I didn't receive. Three missed calls) Answer your call,Eri. Your boyfriend may turn restless. " I need to leave. Saying this I headed towards my room. Slept finally" ERICA STOPPED.. Now I interrupted, " Eri, did you call Leonard that night?" No, I was exhausted, Ani. " Do you love Leonard, Eri? You should have told him everything. Don't you feel he is victimized, Eri?" " I don't know about love but without him I could not be this strong. He showed me the right path. He was with me when he had nothing to gain from me. And he is not victimized at all. Ani, life is not about calling and narrating incidents. Most of the time you need to be alone, silent and rethink to make yourself and people around you happy. " Erica said ERICA CONTINUED.. Next morning ( bouquet on my door) I loved bouquet but didn't know if it was for me. I was already struggling with life. The card over the bouquet read," HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, LOVE YOU WIFE". Threw the bouquet over my sofa as I didn't want to torture my life anymore. Door bell rings "Surprise" I could sense tincture of excitement out of David's voice. But he was not alone today. He came to my place with mom." I had to smile. We talked, laughed. Never felt like our relationship changed. Finally, not a bad day as it looked like. That night I had to choose. I had to move on. I can't give Leonard any hope. David needs me. His family loves me the same. I had to call Leonard. I called Leonard. "I need to say you something, Leonard . Are you free? " Leonard, " Yes love. I am always free when you need me. You know every minute seemed a year for me. I wished to call you lot but inner me felt you needed time. I can't say how happy I am to hear your voice. Your voice, your smile and the way you placed your head over me, all this are helping me from turning restless. I know you are mine. We don't share a weak bond to let people harm us. Baby whatever decision you take I am with you. " 'I love you, Leo' I said." ERICA PAUSED.. "What?? Eri, why the hell you said so. You can't make life so complicated. What are you doing girl? You are even surviving. I would have died thousand deaths if I had to face this situations. And what happened after that, Eri? " I asked but I couldn't stop worrying. We could hear birds chirping.. It turned dawn.. " We need to sleep, Ani. "

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED - 5

[TABLE 203 Leonard pulled the chair for me( making me comfortable) I just looked into his eyes He smiled and said, "lady you may fall in love Eri, the way I fall for you." "Leonard you told me you are emotionless, more a stone hearted person." I said May be too weak when I think of you, lady. I didn't know what to say, "Be strong and don't think about me." He said nothing. I could sense he was not amused by what I spoke. Holy crap! You know you are so pure lady. Never met someone who made me so happy. Leonard held my hand and said be mine. I will never let you down. I love you. And I mean it Eri. (I wanted to be his forever. I wanted to place my head on his chest and cry out loud. I don't know if I am falling for him this bad. I couldn't stop myself and held his hand tight.) "Will you love me and not get tired of me ever? " I asked. ORDER Please - waiter interrupted I ordered for us while he smiled looking at me. "What? Why were you staring at me this whole time? " I smiled as I spoke. To see you smile. I want to take you home and hide you from this world. ( Leonard continued speaking) Why do you fear relationships? Don't you trust your parents, siblings? You have great relationship with them. But why you push me away when it's about us. Eri, we met, we talked, we know we are compatible then why not think of our future? If you have buried your future then why are you still timid? I don't know. My phone rang( My ex husband called me) What should I do Leonard? You may talk. As I received, " Can you meet me once? I am waiting for you. Please give me last chance to explain. I know you can't be mine but for God's sake come to meet me at Lane site of 13th C Road. Please accept my request." I said I won't come and disconnected. Silenced my phone. I shouldn't go right Leo? Leonard, " I don't know. I just know I can't share you. But maybe you can meet him for the last time." I placed my head over his chest, he held me tight and said," I am with you. " (I can't love him less) Dinner served. He fed me and I wished he never stops falling for me. I hugged him before leaving. At about 9:30. ( reached 13th C Road) I could see David (My ex husband) waiting. He shaved his head. He came running towards me. Never saw him so restless and desperate. He started recalling our memories. I said nothing but I broke down and cried. I didn't know what made me so weak. I don't love David but our memories hunt me. I cried a lot then and even now. He said, " Every one should get a second chance." You got that when you betrayed me and I was the sole person who stood by your side. I said," I am with Leonard. " He stopped, cried and held my hand and spoke," I should stop breathing love. You can't be with anyone else." I cried like I never did. Trust me my life halted. ] ERICA stopped... I said, "Please continue Eri. I am dying. " Erica," Ani, let's have some coffee. You may get exhausted. " I don't want you to stop Eri...

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED - 4

As I was going through my old photo collection, I realized it's been weeks since I talked to Erica. I can remember how jolly she used to be. Her carefree attitude, fearing no one. I remember we used to call her "strong barong" (as she hated this barong dance done to impress king of spirits in Indonesia). I dialed her number but it beeped for once and got disconnected. (Many times I tried) I think I should leave a voice message.. After couple of days, (She didn't even bothered to reply me. How can someone be so selfish? She started ignoring me after she met this man whom I don't even know.) As I was struggling with all these thoughts, I thought of visiting her place. May be something wrong happened to her. Now my mind is more curious than being furious. As I reached Erica's place, The door seemed half opened, packed luggage and all these made me more curious. "Ani,I am sorry I couldn't even give you a hint " Erica said (she was almost busy packing her stuffs) " Are you getting married? Or going for live-in? Can you elaborate what's going on here?" I said (hoping Erica doesn't take a wrong step this time) Ani, nothing such happened. I got transferred. (smiled) I thought something happened between you and your mysterious man. Not something, a lot happened. Tell me I insisted. "I have to pack all my belongings. But if you help me, I can say you"(Eri giggled) You were always a bitch but I will help you as I am curious. ERICA STARTED, "You remember Ani I told you that evening, I am going to meet this mysterious man. But before that something more scary happened. My ex husband called me crying for my company. He seemed incomplete without me. He treated me bad because he was depressed about losing our first baby. I felt pity but I couldn't speak up. He begged to be with me at first but then he was raged. He then shouted and said he deserved a better wife. I spoiled his years being with him. You know Ani, never did I felt those years as waste. I had good memories with him but he called it as worthless. I just disconnected ." How could you handle all these alone,Eri ? ERICA said, "I had thousand thoughts before meeting Leonerd." I said, "Leonard is more a Leopard in your life" (couldn't stop laughing) ERICA (almost raged) "Stop laughing you plumpy Ani. That evening I wore my peach coloured dress, wore my favorite lipstick. Waiting for him close to the traffic point at yellow street. There comes a tall, almost fair, well dressed (enough to impress me) guy. I waited few seconds for him to cross the road and come near me. May be he was not able to see a mighty creature like me. So had to shout, "heyyy". Until he heard me" I stopped Eri as I couldn't stop laughing. You are terrible. He might be scared. ERICA continued Yeah but Leonard loved it. Huh. He booked a table for our dinner. Table 203. Trring Trring (Erica got a call from office and she had to leave) Tell me the whole after you return, I will be waiting at your place Eri. (I said as she left)

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED 3

“I am meeting him today. I don’t even know if meeting him was an option for me or necessity. Only belief I had, to conquer my present .“ She spoke to me over phone. My watch showed ten past three,most assignments yet to complete. I pushed aside my list of assignments. Pulled my chair and managed to sit. Feeling her words is lot more important than just listening. “The other day he asked if I am comfortable going out on a dinner date. I didn’t know if it was early, meeting the person who strongly believed in me was my sole goal. Calmly, I said yes but inner me couldn’t handle my happiness. Ani, today I don’t think I am wrong. If I won’t, I may be hurting him and not fulfilling my wish .” As Errica said I didn’t feel like stopping her. But Ani, if we have weird chemistry and feel like we are stuck?? What should I do?? I don’t want to sound wrong but I am going through this dilemma. I hopelessly replied,“ Errica, you can make a move if anything such happens” Exactly! What should I do?? “I am never into any relationship,any breakup and she is asking me. Could she be less mean."I thought but I had to say something and not what I thought. An emergency call or feeling sleepy can help you I said ( I was innocent enough to think of any other lie) This is why Ani you never went on a date. Who the hell feels sleepy? I will manage something or bear the awkwardness. Errica, you don’t need to be in any dilemma. A wrong relationship doesn’t give you the right to judge everyone. Do you love this guy? Can assure no for the guy but I am falling for his words. I smiled and said,” Don’t disappoint him,also your wishes. I wish to know his name very soon. “ "Sure.” (giggled)

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED-2

Trring Trring Trring... (My phone rings) Ericca calling... Hello.. You somehow didn't miss my call (she giggled) And like every time I said, "I don't carry my phone everywhere as you do" Dumb ass... I called you for a reason. What??(I asked inquisitively) Why don't you join me for dinner?? Sure... Order tandoori (I specifically mentioned)... And don't starve me.. Catch you tonight 8:30 pm ( I reached her place) As I entered I could spot the difference.. Did you decorate your hall Eri?? I asked Yes, Do you underestimate my creativity? she growled But your husband was not amused by your interior designs (I mocked) I said something terrible I realized as I recalled our last meeting As I murmured sorry She smiled, " Trust me neither me nor my soul wanted the asshole, he was just a pebble stuck in my shoe" Yeah.. What Eri?? (I somehow loved them as a couple.. They looked great) But you guys were so happy Past tense don't excite me any more Ani But what happened, I want to know.. Are you making out with someone Eri?? No but I met a person... A mentor.. A friend who taught me how easy it is to be happy without depending on anyone And who is he, Eri?? That is not necessary Ani, she said turning to me But he may be the wrong person Of course he may but he can't hurt me as I have no expectations from him.. So you guys are not even dating?? Never.. He seems to be the words for my novel.. Where did you meet?? Nowhere Can I even get a hint Eri?? Enjoy your tandoori... Tell me... Please... LATER...

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

"You were one selfish person and I was one selfless fool"

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

To another soul in solitude

Not forever, why not for once Leave the world behind, feel my beats.. I crave your presence, fill me Though can't fit in the same world eternally Not lust, love it is with no expectation Break this barriers, accompany your soul into mine, Guide me, for now growing up is more a struggle, All I want is to see the world through your eyes...

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

WHAT IF, HE EXIST ?

That vague look, shy forever, Could relate you to no one, And how dull you look when you stare at stuffs, Imagination this is, what if you really exist?? I would be loving your innocence, Dethrone everyone to make you mine, Be the wind and sail the oceans, Put out the flames and unite us in the ash of love...

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

CRUMBLED

If I need to define him... I would call him boorish she replied turning to me...(She continued) His friends love his rectitude... Little did they know about his disorganized behavior... He had a habit of nagging me(she spoke in a brittle voice).Once he glowered at me for I preferred to wear a dress not a saree in a party... That night I was locked and punished... I cannot wear a lipstick for he thinks people may flip over me... I Sighed and asked her... Don't you want to cast him off ??? This is a morsel of my story she said before leaving...A lot of truths need to be disclosed hon.. 'I wish we meet again' she mumbled..... That's not her fate consoled myself as she left...

[subhrasarmasblog-blog]

SHATTERED

Filthy world, still people expect true love, Why people call love powerful, When betrayal empowers every relationship, Wish I could be an exception, And not crave to be yours forever..