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me at a screamo concert

me: everyone.. be quiet...

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“Is it a standard action to pull the axe out of my spine?”

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When virtual reality becomes commonplace, DnD is going to skyrocket in popularity.

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We fold our clothes because we want them to be folded in fewer places.

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How can ants have farms? They’re too small to control the chickens and the pigs

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In video games you are the boss because no matter how many times enemies kill you, you keep coming back

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Gay guys take “bros before hoes” the most seriously.

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me: *accidentally isolates myself from my friends and disconnects from online communities*

me: whered all my besties go

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The default mood of a child is happy, adults on the other hand seem to be generally miserable until something makes them happy

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i like how space doesn’t care about me. it’s impossible to disappoint the sun

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girl: come over

me: i cant

girl: i understand

me: i love you

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The Prophecy

I just realised that in 50 years kids won’t be on Tumblr, but we still will, so it’s just going to be a bunch of old perverts posting smut and fanfics about men in their 90s

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(car comes near me)

me: please run me over

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The Children

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