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Anyone obsessed with me? Could use the ego boost

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AND FOR ANYONE WONDERING WHERE THE MUN WAS OFF LOLLYGAGGING: DON'T WORRY, I DROPPED THEM ON THE DANCEFLOOR AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE AND THEY'RE DOING GREAT NOW! HAHAHAHA!

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HOW DID I ONCE PUT IT? OH, YES-- EVERYTHING I AM, I'M ALSO NOT! YOUR CAT IS DEAD, ALIVE, UNDEAD, TRYING TO KILL YOU, AND CURRENTLY A CORRUPT ROMAN SENATOR ON THE EVE OF ITS BRUTAL ASSASSINATION BY A DISGRUNTLED CHEF WHO IS SICK TO DEATH OF SERVING SARDINES! MAYBE THE FELINE VOTE WASN'T MY BEST IDEA!

THAT IS MY EXISTENCE, AND THE SAME GOES FOR YOU! EVERY POSSIBILITY OR IMPOSSIBILITY IS ALREADY A PART OF YOU! ANY WORLD CAN BE YOURS BY DECREE OF ACTUALITY! FOR EXAMPLE, YOU CAN DECIDE THAT THERE IS INDEED AN ALIEN TRIANGLE CURRENTLY TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF DREAMS INTO YOUR WORLD'S MENTAL PLANE! THAT WOULD SURE HELP A LOT!

OF COURSE, THE FLIP SIDE OF EMBRACING MODALITY'S TOTALITY (HAHA!) IS THAT REALITY AS A COHERENT CONCEPT GOES SAILING OUT THE WINDOW AND ONTO THE FAR END OF THE MODAL DIMENSION, BUT IF I KNOW YOU, AND I DO, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO MISS IT!

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Aw look at them bounding

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[Bill's got a list--that stretches out the door and off into the blackness--and he's checking it twice. On the left side is a column marked with an axolotl. One the right, one marked with his own triangular face.]

[He places a one tick mark on the left, and two on the right.]

TWO DOWN, INFINITY TO GO! KNOCK YOURSELF OUT, MICHELANGELO!

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💀🔥💥👑❌❗

ENJOYED THE BOOK, DIDN'T YOU! HAHAHA

(Make my muse talk about:)

💀 Failures

I WISH THE MANIACINTOSH HAD WORKED! THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN ME AND AN ARMY OF PERFECT PLUGGED IN SCREEN SLAVES FRIENDS WAS A COUPLE OF MEASLY LAWSUITS! I TRIED CRACKING INTO THAT JUDGE'S HEAD, BUT THE SOLID WALL OF STICK-UP-HIS NONSENSE ABOUT KIDS THESE DAYS, SUNSHINE AND SCRAPED KNEES, YADDA YADDA WHY DON'T MY OFFSPRING EVER CALL ME, IT WAS INPENETRABLE! NOT EVEN PROMISING HIM TEN NEW GRANDSPAWN EACH WITH THEIR OWN LANDLINE WAS ENOUGH TO SWAY HIM! (HIS DREAMS TASTED LIKE MOTHBALLS, TOO.)

🔥Fears / worries

DEATH, DUH! EVERYBODY FEARS DEATH, AND IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T THEY'RE LYING! I FEAR DEATH THE WAY THAT YOUR AVERAGE FRESHLY TRAUMATIZED FIRST GRADER FEARS THE IMMINENT EXPLOSION OF THE SUN AND SUBSEQUENT INCINERATION OF THE EARTH! YEAH, IT COULD HAPPEN TODAY, TOMORROW, OR NEXT WEEK, BUT THE CHANCES ARE VANISHINGLY SMALL, AND SOON ENOUGH I FIND BETTER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT (LIKE PING PONG! WITH SEVERED HEADS!) AND FORGET THE WHOLE SILLY IDEA OF "DYING".

💥 Regrets

REGRETS ARE FOR COWARDS DESTINED FOR THE SCRAP HEAP OF HISTORY! I REGRET NOTHING!

👑 Role models / mentors

PSHAW, WHO NEEDS THEM! IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO SOME OTHER CHUMP FOR LIFE ADVICE OR A SENSE OF DIRECTION OR A PROGRAM TO GET WITH, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! I DON'T NEED ANYBODY HOLDING ME DOWN LIKE THAT*, AND NEITHER DO YOU! UNLESS IT'S ME. YOU SHOULD LISTEN VERY, VERY CLOSELY TO ME.

---

*(AND IF I EVER DID, THEY'RE LOOOOONG GONE!)

❌ Flaws

OKAY, OKAY, I'LL THROW YOU ONE LITTLE BONE. COME HERE. I'LL WHISPER. COME ON, I'M BEING NICE, YOU CAN DO ME THIS ONE LITTLE FAVOR. READY?

...

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TIE A BOW TIE. THEY'RE ALL CLIP-ONS. UH-HUH. YEAH. MY BIGGEST INSECURITY, DEFINITELY. DON'T TELL ANYBODY, NOW, OR I'LL BE FORCED TO SWITCH TO A BOLO TIE! IT WON'T BE PRETTY! SHHHHHHHHH!

❗ Defining life events

FLATTERER! THANK YOU, I TRY!

BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF-

[Dimension Not Found]

-MY HOMEWORLD AGAIN, YOU'RE MISTAKEN. I GAVE YOU A BOOK, EDUCATE YOURSELF. GO LOOK AT THE INESCAPABLE FLOOD OF FANART OF THAT SICKENINGLY CUTE LITTLE MARSHMALLOW IN SNEAKERS, THAT I SO NICELY DANGLED IN FRONT OF YOUR DEGENERATE BRAINS LIKE JINGLING KEYS, IF YOU FEEL SO INCLINED. BEING BORN IS THE ONLY LIFE EVENT THAT REALLY MATTERS IN THE END, RIGHT?! EXISTENCE! MAN!

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all seeing eye

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✍💢😒

✍ Favorite thing about writing the muse?

((Covered a lot of the broader stuff already under "what inspires me", but something I enjoy a lot is working out how specifically he would say something. There are some unwritten (until now I guess) rules that I follow when writing him, including:

Don't use too many question marks. He tends to make statements rather than ask questions, and when he does ask questions, it's usually because he wants the answer to get under somebody else's skin.

If he uses an idiom, make it weird. Take whatever the base form of the phrase is, and mutate it. To pull out a past example, I remember taking him describing someone as having "the subtlety of a brick to the face" and making that "A ROASTED HAM FALLING DIRECTLY FROM A SKYSCRAPER"... etc.

If there's an opportunity to incorporate his apparent fixation on teeth, blood, bones, eyeballs, do it. But 9 times out of 10 it has to be funny on some level, even if it's just the "Bill whyyyyyy" kind of funny. If he starts talking about blood and bones during dramatic moments, that's sparingly fine (TBOB has a fabulously creepy scene involving some of that) but too much and he sounds like a standard issue serial killer. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU NOW" is for when he's out of ideas for getting what he wants.

He never wishes anyone "sweet dreams", only "pleasant dreams". And he only means it as a threat.

I'm always trying to refine this portrayal. Alex has rules of his own that I do my best to incorporate.))

💢Something about the muse that annoys you?

((Annoys me in a good way: I have a lot of trouble wrapping my mind around his motivations. In canon, and even on my blog. I like that, I can't resist a mystery. But it ain't easy, I tell ya.

Annoys me in an Eh way: I understand very well the limits imposed by Bill being the villain of a 20 min format comedy cartoon aimed at pre-teens, I get that, but he's still canonically a bit of a reckless idiot who doesn't remember his own power. A chaos monster incarnate who can (checks notes) shapeshift, transform or conjure anything, see the future, and control time had NO EXCUSE to lose Weirdmageddon. RIP Bill, done in by the power of Pines Family Narrative Supremacy. Twice, as of the new book!!

Annoys me in a bad way: This is a writing complaint, not a character complaint, but he barely interacts with most of the characters aside from Ford (yes, including Dipper in that), and I feel like Alex has ended up retconning away a lot of the other chances for fans to explore that themselves. You're telling me that Fidds never interacted with possessed-Ford once? Personally, I think he did and he forgot.))

😒 Is there anything canon about your muse that you ignore? 

((I love canon Bill with all my heart. He is that to which I aspire. Unfortunately I think my version might be a little too slithery and sneaky to be strictly canon, and I'm not that interested in dialing it back lol))

((Also, the shoelace thing. Yeah, no. He doesn't wear shoes. He's never worn shoes. Shoes don't exist in Euclydia. What's a shoe?))

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🔥 Unpopular opinion about your muse? 

((Bill in the back of my head going FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT lol))

((Hm, tough one, especially since the Book of Bill has kind of changed what a popular opinion is or isn't! Bill has a canonical romantic history and I just have to deal with that now. And you know what? That's cool. He's a trillion years old and that's enough time to do everything. But I remember when the entire concept of shipping him was treated as character-breaking in some quarters.))

((Okay, here's my honest opinion re: his fandom characterization:

Most fannish portrayals of him, even some that I enjoy, don't get weird enough with it. TBOB just highlighted that even more. Bill has a very specific aesthetic and mode of expressing himself and it is rare that I see a fan hit every note. I am including myself in that. I am also guilty of leaving some key aspects by the wayside some time or another because I either overlook them, or have trouble wrapping my head around them. His many-sidedness is a blessing and a curse that way.))

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💡📑 📝

💡 What inspires you to write the muse? 

I DO, OF COURSE!

((I'm still surprised that writing this guy is a thing that happened. It's hard to put into words what brain itch specifically he scratches in just the right way, but he does. I think that some big parts of it are:

Bill is the character who introduced me to weird/cosmic horror. Returning to him whenever I want to explore a new side of that feels very natural. But it never gets dull-- the horror is only one part of him. (His sense of humor is honestly more arcane than any straightforwardly horrifying thing he's ever done.) The interactions between his all of his aspects is a big source of inspiration.

With him, I get to be part of the narrative in some small way, and that is just so much fun and has been for years. I can't think of any other character that I have a relationship like that with.

Through him, I get a kind of outlet. I'm awfully nervous sometimes and it's a relief to temporarily get to inhabit the persona of someone who isn't. Other characters, I think of what they do and they do it, but Bill in some odd way "calls" his own shots and it's me who's moved into a different mode for a short time. If that makes sense. It's a blast. I love being this pointy jerk.))

📑 Favorite part of your muse’s backstory? 

((Oh man. Really tough to say but I would like to point to the Portal era. That whole span of time has turned out to be this delightfully screwed up and tragic slow burning disaster centered on not one, not two, but three concurrent doomed relationships -- Bill's with Ford, Ford's with Bill, and Ford and Fidds -- and how all those came together and made the situation worse. Shout out in particular to how casually, almost unintentionally, Bill burned Fiddleford McGucket's entire life to the ground. Kind of poetic how the device Fidds invented was able to serve that right back to him in the end.))

((But really, my favorite part is everything we still don't know, or only know fragments of. Where did his powers come from? (There's more going on there than just a freak mutation.) What actually happened to Euclydia physically? (We know the circumstances now, but only a faint sketch of the actual events.) What did Fiddleford really see in the Portal? (More than Bill's saying.) And then there's one of my favorite parts of all, the background in our world of how he got involved in the plot in the first place-- because if you look closer at Bill's development history, things get a little strange.))

📝 Favorite headcanon for your muse?

((I concede that this is unlikely from a show development perspective, especially with what we now know post-TBOB about what motivates him, but I still think he deliberately threw the fight at the end of Dreamscaperers. Regardless of his only being a monster of the week at that point, you'll notice that the episode ended on his terms, not the Pines' or Gideon's or anyone else. And yes, visual foreshadowing easter eggs don't count as Real Canon, but pretending for a second that they do: he already knew that Gideon was going to prison, an outcome that only happens if his deal with Bill fails!))

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SKILL ISSUE. GOTTA EXSANGUINATE. KHAKIS SURE ISN'T USING IT ANYMORE!

🍿

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Bill Cipher Moodboard

So far, this blog is just me tossing moodboards into the tumblr void with wild abandon. I’m having fun though! 

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Mun talks about the Muse

Send one of the following to ask the mun… (please specify muse for multis)

✍ Favorite thing about writing the muse? 👀Favorite thing about the muse’s appearance? 🌌Favorite alternate version of the muse? 💕Favorite ship for the muse?  💔Least favorite ship for the muse? 💢Something about the muse that annoys you? 😈Worst thing you’ve ever done to your muse?  😂Funniest thing that’s ever happened to your muse?  💡 What inspires you to write the muse?  📷 Favorite picture/screencap of your muse? 📑 Favorite part of your muse’s backstory?  📝 Favorite headcanon for your muse?  😒 Is there anything canon about your muse that you ignore?  🔮 What do you see in your muse’s future?  🔥 Unpopular opinion about your muse?  💭 Favorite memory of the muse?  😩 Hardest thing about writing the muse?  ⌨ What’s a situation you’ve always wanted to RP with the muse?  🎭 How similar are you and the muse? 

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OH, LOOKS LIKE THE MUN'S BEEN INSPIRED TO GET THEIR OLD PUNCHING BAG OUT! THAT'S IT! THROW THAT CRYBABY STRAIGHT INTO THE LION PIT! RIP HIS HEART OUT FAST INSTEAD OF SLOW FOR ROUND 2, SAVE US ALL SOME TIME! HAHA!

UGH, ARE WE ATTACHED AT THE 60 DEGREE HIP OR WHAT? COULDN'T I MAKE MY GRAND RE-ENTRANCE TO THIS SO-CALLED "HELLSITE" WITHOUT KNOCK-OFF PINE TREE TAGGING ALONG? I'VE GOT COOLER PEOPLE TO TORTURE THAN MR. DESIGNATED PROTAGONIST THERE! YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, FISHFACE! I DON'T WORK FOR FREE!

....ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, SO MAYBE I'LL FEEL TEMPTED, BUT I'M BORED OF THE TASTE, I'M TELLING YOU! DOSTOYEVSKY CAN HAVE HIM!

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MY TIME HAS COME TO BURN

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MY ONE REGRET IS THAT I DIDN'T BOOK A CATERER FOR WEIRDMAGEDDON. IF I'D KNOWN THAT BARRIER WAS GOING TO BE THERE, I WOULD HAVE PLANNED TO EXTEND THE BEFORE-PARTY IN ADVANCE. I WAS THIS CLOSE TO UNPETRIFYING GIDEON'S PARENTS.

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LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT

THE MUN SPECULATES THAT I MIGHT END UP GOING THE WAY THE HENCHMANIAC WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED DID, AND THEY'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! NLIKSL'H WVZW GL NV, AND I'LL SAND MY EDGES DOWN INTO A $@#&ING CIRCLE BEFORE I JOIN THEM IN THE LIMBO OF "WILL WE WON'T WE EVER GET A CANON OF OUR VERY OWN"!

I HAVE ALL THE CANON I WILL EVER NEED! YES, EVEN THAT SECTION OF IT! ALL PART OF MY PLAN!