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KillerCook Chapter 11
Welcome to Raven’s Reading Nook - a small corner of this blog dedicated to cozy story times. Join us in the family room as we sit around and browse our phones, and eat some Girl Scout cookies as we begin tonight’s story. Rated Mature for language. Minors DNI

*Phone app notification goes ping*
TikTok – KillerCook has uploaded a new video. Check it out!
Title: HACKED Description: This ain’t your regularly scheduled programming punks!5 minute video. The thumbnail is a shadowed figure with a menacing looking ‘X’ mark over the body.
*Press Play?*
The video began with what appeared to be a hostage situation.
KillerCook was tied to a chair with rope and chains, a blindfold over his helmet and duct tape adhered to most of his face holes.
“Uhh, this isn’t what it looks like,” Killer was able to voice out from behind the bondage.
“No, it’s exactly what it looks like,” barked Kid as he stepped into the frame. “This effin idiot was gonna make content on HIS birthday. Not in my house. Today is technically Killer’s birthday but we’re kidnapping – shut the hell up – him so he can actually let his hair down for once in his life.”
Heat stepped into the frame on Killer’s opposite side, “Originally, we were gonna take over the channel and cook for him. BUT, Kid had a light-bulb moment and we developed a scheme to treat the birthday man. You all will be seeing this next week, but rest assured, we’ve got it covered. Wish Killer a happy birthday in the comments and he’ll read them all when we come back!”
Wire came from behind the camera shaking a can of whipped cream, stepping menacingly towards Killer. Aiming the nozzle into one of the helmet holes, he pressed down on the can until Killer began thrashing, white whipped cream oozed from behind the taped holes. “THIS IS FOR THROWING FOOD AT ME ALL YEAR!”
The video transitioned to a blue and white screen with a traditional birthday melody laid over it.
A slideshow of videos and still-shot frames from Killer’s birthday kidnapping started playing.
Killer’s hostage-wear stayed on as the crew drove to the marina, where a punk-looking yacht was moored. The bow of the ship was adorned with a skeletal body, and there were blue and red flames painted to the sides of the hull. Black cursive spelled out the beauty’s name – Victoria Punk.
“The bag over the helmet is really pointless, I know where we are,” Killer’s muffled complaint went ignored as he was marched up the boarding plank.
About 30 pictures went by with various crew members and friends posing with hostage Killer; one photo had him wearing a beer helmet over the bag over his helmet, the straws tucked underneath all the materials to give Killer some libation.
Finally liberated, Killer – dressed down into swim trunks and his helmet – took a running leap off the yacht to cannonball into the sea. As he resurfaced, the rest of the crew cannonballed after him, created a wave of water to shower down on him and the camera, which promptly died.
_______________________
Kid’s pissed-off scowl came into focus as he adjusted the new camera perspective, “{Redacted} idiots killed my phone instead of using the {redacted} GoPro.”
The next clip showed Killer relaxing with a beer bottle in hand, laying against a giant pizza slice pool float as people drifted by him, playing in the water. All was calm until Quincy, Bubblegum, and Heat swam underneath the float and flipped it over. When Killer broke the surface, the laughter tripled as his hair was plastered all over his helmet and chest, but his beer-bottle was still in one of the face holes.
“There’s sea water in my beer,” he said flatly.
A new clip had a heavy metal anthem roaring in the background as the yacht was sailing at high speed on the open ocean. Killer was standing on the bow, holding a Scottish flag, and thrashing his hair to the music.
More photos of the crew and Killer celebrating his birthday with drinking games, strength competitions, and gorging on fresh seafood flooded the TikTok video. Amongst the main crew and personal friends, there were also members of the Straw Hat crew, and even some ‘frenemy’ rivals that had been spoken of but not ever invited on to the KillerCook channel before. By the time the lighting in the photos grew darker, Killer’s helmet had been exchanged for a face mask and his cerulean eyes were noticeably glossy.
“Hap-hic-happy birthday, Kill, -hic- the best-{redacted}-friend a punk could-hic ask for,” slurred Kid as he gripped Killer’s shoulder. Both men swayed as a cake was brought out to the main deck. Sunset had long passed, the yacht was brightly lit up with swarms of bulbs on strings that hung tastefully along the walls and railings.
Everyone began to sing the birthday song and Killer might have shed a tear, shoving a palm roughly to his face.
“{Redacted}-A, I don’t even know what to say,” Killer drawled out. “All I was going to do was make a small cake and smoke my pipe. You {redacted} are so good to me. Well, not all of you, but I like most of yah. Some I don’t know how you got invited, seriously. But I’m glad you’re here celebrating anyways. I don’t have a wish to make, truly. I’ve got everything, everyone. So thanks. Alright I’m not going to get mushy on all you freeloaders!” Killer ripped off his face mask.
With deep-purple stained lips, Killer’s gorgeous smile shined brightly as he took a gulp of air and blew out the sparkler-flame candles. The party participants roared in celebration at the same time an airhorn started blowing off-screen.
The camera quickly panned to the culprit of the sound. A modest sized cruise ship with a flag waving proudly on the masts pulled up portside. On the side of the hull it’s name was proudly presented: The Baratie. The camera’s change in perspective did not allow for viewers to see who let out the strangled, high-pitched scream of excitement.
Sanji was clutching Killer’s soldiers and babbling incoherently before jumping into the water, swimming towards the restaurant ship.
Hands covering his face, Killer sobbed out, “I’m so fucking happy!! LET’S EAT!!!!”
Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3
#killercook#massacre soldier killer#eustass kid#raven's reading nook#firstmatesimp#kid pirates#heat one piece#wire one piece#op kid pirates#kid pirate nakama#killer one piece#eustass captain kid#tiktok#modern AU#eustasscaptainkid#ao3 writer#wattpad author#swampstew#swampstew stories
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me getting negativity out beneath the cut.
I feel like this biggest selfish idiot for even writing this.
I have duplicate anxiety when it comes to Matt. it used to be Clint and Matt but after a lot of work, I am mostly comfortable writing with Clint blogs now. Matt is still in work progress for me and honestly it's something I'm pretty ashamed of. there is a lot of anxiety brewing for me with the new daredevil show premiering next week and as much as I tell myself that these things my anxiety is telling are not true and everything will be fine, it only helps so much. I am not perfect and these fears feel very real to me, even though I know they're not. I am so fucking terrified all these better Matt blogs are going to come along and I'm going to lose my partners, especially a select few whom I've done some deep world building with. That people are going to realize I'm shit at writing, that I'm a fraud, and will move on.
at the same time, I'm so excited about the show. I'm excited to see Matt on the screen again. For inspiration, new plots, headcanons, threads, and all the wonderful things that come with it. It's very bittersweet.
I KNOW the negative things aren't true. I KNOW that my partners love writing with me. I KNOW every portrayal is unique and special and loved. I know, I know, I know...which is why I am so ashamed of this anxiety. I try so hard to be supportive of others and spread positivity but here I am doing the opposite to myself. I had this anxiety before She-Hulk and Hawkeye came out but it wasn't bad at all after the shows actually aired. I actually had a blast with everything I did with my partners. I hoping it will be the same way but right now, it's not. Right now, I feel like I am waiting for the inevitable to happen.
I'm not looking for pity, hand holding, support, or anything like that. This is my issue to deal with and I know that. I would never mean to put it on anyone else. I'm just asking to please be patient with me while I try to keep my anxiety pickled brain in check.
now back to your regularly scheduled programming...
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The fight in Wolfwood's body seems to leave the more he treads into details he wish he had the human memory to forget. As much as he wants to fight and fight and deflect every word Luida speaks, he finds the fire dying right where it sparks in his chest.
Loves, though... no, that's... what they were both avoiding. That's irrelevant.
"Wh—no, he..." Wolfwood stammers, trying so desperately to shoo away the stormclouds that grow with any term of endearment, "It wasn't—we... he wasn't like that. We couldn't. We—he—can't. Shouldn't. So."
The concept of Vash running because he loves too much—it's unfortunately been at the forefront of Wolfwood's thoughts, no matter how much he tries to cast it to the side. He knows that that must be the reason Vash left, but adamantly refuses to believe such a ridiculous reason. There's... something more logical, surely. And—and even if love is involved—if—it's not... it can't be anything more than just... platonic. It's a strong platonic bond. That's... that's all.
"We both know that's out of the cards," Wolfwood finally shakes himself free of the demons trying to lure him back to dreamier times, "If that were the case, he would've... left a long time ago. No one can put up with that kind of feeling tugging at your ankles for so long... nope, no one."
... Even though he's been fighting it off for full years now.
"M'not scared of anything Vash can throw at me," the undertaker eventually finds himself mumbling. "Not even something stupid like... saying that. I'd just... tell him... 'no' or something..."
And yet, every crack and bullet hole in his heart tells him that he could never turn Vash away like that. He loves Vash, and it's a problem, but it's his problem. Not Vash's—which is why he's just going to... rescue him, get out, and stay out.
… as Wolfwood went into further detail, Luida remained quiet, only nodding along on occasion to prove she was listening as she processed what she was being told. She briefly wondered, had he not told her that Knives had broken Vash during his time in JuLai, if she would even fully believe that he was capable of such things… but the undertaker had the scars to prove it.
Scars that she would… glance at, then forcibly remove her gaze, not wanting to stare for too long. But they were there, left by whatever it was Vash had become. All of that information was a lot to take in at once, but Luida did so to the best of her ability; this wasn't about what she thought of that part of the situation, anyway.
"I suppose that wasn't an incorrect assumption to make, given the situation we're in right now…" she conceded. Yes, unfortunately, this outcome would be easily foreseeable to someone that knew Vash well enough to predict it. However, that wasn't all she had to say on the matter, gnawing on the inside of her cheek before continuing, "but prolonging a conversation like that for so long— until it was strong enough to make you 'freak out' at such a crucial moment —is probably part of why it had such a profoundly negative effect on you. Things like that fester easily when you refuse to acknowledge them."
… but that was only part of the problem, wasn't it?
Her hands fell to rest on her lap, where she wrung them together tightly. Wolfwood had responded negatively to talk like this in the past, but… maybe right now, while he was calm…
"… but hearing this, and knowing Vash on the level that I do… I don't think it's fair to either of you to look at it through such a simplified lens. 'Vash promised not to leave but then he did anyway'… you were both scared of something when it happened. People tend to make big, rash decisions that aren't necessarily the best for anyone when fear and guilt come into play— and Vash tends to make them for other people… often without their input, when he believes his presence is detrimental someone he loves."
#[like a moth to flame; mothwood]#[separation arc; orangetintedglasses]#// back to your regularly scheduled idiot programming
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Things that come in my head as I play through Diasomnia's chapter (chp 1- 37):
[Potential spoilers below darlings, proceed with caution!]
Lilia using his hatchet, which by Sebek's reactions we can assume is basically at the same level of significance as a magical artifact used by say, one of the great Seven, to cut wood. He even justifies it by saying the hatchet might feel better being used even if for mundane things than sitting and gathering dust somewhere. Is that a metaphor for himself? Is he referring to himself and how he busied himself with raising his sons? To how from a weapon in war, one that brought devastation with every swing of his blade, he softened into a someone, who despite his doubts managed to be a father and mentor to both his sons? Does he think of himself as an object to be used, first in the war and then as a caretaker for Malleus?
Silver losing his cool and shouting that yes, Malleus needs to be there to say goodbye to Lilia. We've seen how Silver constantly wants to be useful and do something to sort of 'justify' Lilia taking him in and raising him as his own. I feel like he doesn't see himself as Lilia's son despite calling him "Father"; he sees Malleus as more deserving of that title, and so every time he's shown some resistance against Lilia going away, he puts it as if he's speaking on behalf of Malleus' feelings. Whereas Malleus believes that he must not be selfish and stop Lilia from leaving just because he doesn't want him to. He's trying to be mature about it all, even if it eats him up inside. Just... why can't these idiots realize how much they love each other?? Also, Lilia asking where Silver got his stubborn streak from like sir, have you seen yourself and Malleus? Both of yall are so stubborn that I'm surprised Silver isn't more stubborn than just this.
Malleus and Silver are so similar in so many ways that it actually hurts. Both are losing their father figure, their mentor. And they're both trying to be so incredibly brave and mature about it. Malleus' general dislike of being compared to a child (even though Lilia says that the Draconias achieve their maturity when they're 1000 years old and are still children at 200 years) and Silver saying that he'll be coming of age the next year when Malleus tells him that all children cry... Both are children, but they don't want to be seen as children. These boys are gonna make me cry istg-
Gonna take a break from the dia boys for a sec because how cute are the first years??? Oh my god I love them all so much. Also, weird freaky things happening to the Prefect... could it be a side effect of being stuck in Twisted Wonderland for so long? Or maybe even an effect of the Prefect starting to become "aware" of how the great seven are the people they see in their dreams? Hm... Also have I told you how much I love Adeuce? Because I love them. Very much. The way Ace shows concern about the Prefect feeling under the weather, and the way Deuce immediately agrees that they should leave after saying their greetings just makes me so happy (and it reminds me of my friends.... i think i just realized why im so fond of the idiots...) Okay now back to our regularly scheduled program...
Love how Lilia basically said, "If people here were well-adjusted individuals who knew how to ask for help gracefully and take the help offered to them gracefully they wouldn't have been chosen by the Dark Mirror" because he's soo right, but also, dear sir, if you recall, you were chosen to attend this very same institute yourself <3
"I haven't the slightest intention of being friendly–" shut it lightning boy we're gonna KO you with the power of friendship and life-or-death bonding situations
LILIA HOW DARE YOU TRY TO LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR KIDS ISTG IM GONNQ BITE YOU YOU STUPID OLD MAN THEY FUCKING LOVE YOU HOW DARE YOU SHSVWIDVWYDGWIDVEYWGDGEUDGDH
Oh shit the iconic Maleficent entry– I love you Malleus but Jesus christ you are scaring me rn with that smile–
First battle of the chapter.... wish me luck... Oh wait I was supposed to lose? Ah that's fine, I didn't wanna be stuck on that chapter for the next six months-
Oh god the utter pain in Lilia's voice when he yells out to Malleus.... oh this hurts more than hearing Silver cry.... why can't these idiots just fucking talk and tell each other how much they love each other?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HELLO?!?!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT–Malleus' voice is so pretty while humming the song– BUT HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT?!?! THE FUCKING PROTAGNONIST OF YOUR OWN STPRY?? THE TEISTED WONDERLAND SORT OF TITLE SCREEN THINGY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK I— WHDYEHWGDGDYW
#in short#im losing my mind#but in a good way#for now#im terrified of whats gonna happen next lol#the spoilers did not prepare me at all lmao#ice speaks#random things#twst#twst diasomnia#twisted wonderland#malleus twisted wonderland#lilia twisted wonderland#silver twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland sebek#diasomnia#diasomnia chapter#potential spoilers#diasomnia spoilers
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Good evening!
We've pause your regularly scheduled programming to say that this fanfic blog is making a comeback...
Besties I'm aware that it's been like a couple years(???) since I've posted any oneshots or any kind of writing on this blog but listen in the wise words of the fanfic writers before me, my life has been crazy.
But I'm coming back! And I would love your help with getting started again! I already have some ways of getting myself started with ideas, but I would love your ideas too! Whether they're oneshots, headcanons, or just random ramblings that you want my thoughts on, I'm ready for it all and my ask box is looking mighty tempting, isn't it?
As I said before, I am open to oneshot requests and/or headcanon requests. Depending on how a oneshot is progressing, it may turn into a limited series, but that's just going to be based off of how much ideas I can wring out of one wet rag.
I am open to any of the Big Three: fluff, angst, and smut!
This also of course means...
NO MINORS INTERACTING WITH MY WORK, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!! MDNI!!!
If you are a minor and you attempt to skirt around this rule and I find out, I'm literally wasting no time in adding you to my very empty blocked list. So maybe just don't try it?
Fandoms and characters I will write for:
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (141 squad + König, Graves, Nikolai, Alex, Farah, & Laswell)
Marvel/MCU (the Moon Knight system, Layla El-Faouly, any member of Defenders including Frank Castle, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Pietro Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Miguel O'Hara, Hobie Brown, Logan Howlett, Victor Creed, Laura Kinney, Valkyrie)
DC (any members of batfam, Aquafam, Justice Society, Titans, and Suicide Squad)
Star Wars (any member of Bad Batch, Captain Rex, Commander Cody, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Din Djarin, Boba Fett, Jango Fett, Lando Calrissian, Poe Dameron, Finn)
Star Trek (Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, Captain or Admiral Pike)
Arcane: League of Legends (Silco, Viktor, Jayce, Vi, Sevika, Steb (YES, IM INCLUDING FISH MAN, DO NOT JUDGE ME HE WAS A CUTIE PIE))
Baldur's Gate 3 (Astarion, Gale, Halsin, Karlach, Laezel, Wyll, Rolan)
Other misc characters including but maybe not completely(?) limited to Riddick, Master Chief, Hellboy, Prince Nuada, Aemond Targaryen, Davos Blackwood, Tormund Giantsbane, Geralt of Rivia, Lambert, Elrond Peredhel (LOTR and TROP versions acceptable), and Sherlock Holmes (BBC and Netflix!Enola versions acceptable)
Again! This list could change! If it does change, I will edit this post, and then make an announcement of what my changes are, but this post will almost always be the best reference to find out what I'm writing or who I'm writing for!
Things I will not write:
Minors in sexual/smutty situations. They're either aged up or they're going in the trash, #sorrynotsorry
Pedophilia
Noncon
Hardcore stalking and/or harrassment
Physical and sexual abuse (unless it's like part of a character's backstory then it may be referenced, but I am not writing it out)
Anything else thats just. standard generic icks or no-nos. If you need clarification on something you're not sure I'm okay with, just ask
PSA: I am a white woman. The majority of my writings will be "x reader", and they will usually be fem!reader or afab!reader too, so if you wish for me to write for a gn!reader, please let me know in your request and I will honor that to the best of my ability!
I will also always try to be as vague as possible with other details such as race, hair color, eye color, etc., unless I happen to be writing an OC character with a specified appearance. But I imagine sometimes I'll make mistakes. I'll kick myself for it and I'll say sorry a million and one times, but it's almost inevitable and I'm an idiot and proofreading? whats that?? and I want to prepare you all now. And, if I do make a mistake, or if my writing ever seems to break that promise of being race vague, please let me know what I've done wrong and I will always try to alter what I can so everyone, regardless of what their race or appearance is, can feel welcome, accepted, and included in my writings!
Okay, you can all return to your regularly scheduled programming now :)
This is Renny signing off!
#marvel#dc comics#cod#cod modern warfare#arcane#arcane league of legends#star wars#star trek#requests open#fluff#smut#angst#open for business#marvel mcu#mcu#x reader#send me asks#send me anons#fanfic#oneshots open#headcanons open
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forever a bit haunted by my employer mandated CPR certification that i had to complete like. in my place of work.
i had two reasons to have (what we now know to be misplaced) confidence in myself:
1) listen. theoretically, you could be all alone. it was a public setting (for employees, at least) so that wasn’t a guarantee, but it wasn’t unlikely either. it was badge access, 24 hours, and they purposefully staggered certification expirations through departments so that there wouldn’t be a huge line in the education room.
and 2) i’m a good student:( i read through their silly course:( i had done the mannequin training thing before. i thought i had this shit on lock.
dear reader, i did not. i failed it so many times that i feared getting locked out. had to ask my boss how many times i got to kill this guy before i got a write up or had to redo the course. missed a ridiculous amount of my regularly scheduled workday.
before i continue, i need to clarify a few things. for the plot. the first one is that our mannequin was on a work table of sorts. it did not contain him. it was maybe the size of a piano bench, and breaths were very hard because the angle of the neck mixed with the amount of room you had to work with was horrible. i have resorted to solving this problem by dangling the poor man’s neck over the side and giving breaths perpendicularly.
the second one is that this program is LOUD. every time you fail a breath or compression or anything at all, a sort of alarm blares at you. as if it’s saying 🚨🚨🚨EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS IDIOT🚨🚨🚨🚨 CANT EVEN DO CPR🚨🚨🚨
and third, this education room is just past a meeting room. next door. almost inside of it. it’s a whole thing.
back to our regularly scheduled program. i am still failing. the timing just isn’t coming together. i decided, maybe i’m just worked up. maybe i need some music or something. i’m just a girl.
i turn on unwritten. i have heard somewhere it’s the right bpm. that is good enough for me right now.
flash forward an unknown amount of time, and someone is business casual walks in. her, coming from the door connecting to the meeting room. me, hunched over a mannequin currently holding the world record for most broken neck ever seen, alarms blaring at me every two seconds and unwritten playing on repeat somewhere in the chaos. she says “uh. you can continue. we’re just gonna switch rooms, uh. really quick. do you want me to like. lock this for a bit?”
so evidently, i have interrupted their business casual meeting with 🚨🚨🚨🚨release your inhibitions🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 and the fainter sounds of *thump* *thump* *thump* via chest compressions
anyway tl;dr if you need cpr call someone else. unless you’re a baby. go ahead and die around me if you’re a baby💪💯
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Back from our interruptions of Star being a smart girl taking exams and me having a BS blog move, we are back to your regularly scheduled programming:
Blorbo Talk with Star Squared
Okay first of all that TAG ???? like omg. The fact that you think of me as the ‘talented creative friend’ I am sobbing omg. Thank you. I love sharing these blorbo fics with you so much
Star: English reader ? No, but I shall take creative liberty cause english accents are very pleasing to do : D
Sunny: writing British characters is one of my favourite things to do, and it’s one of my favourite parts about writing Harry Potter fanfiction - using British slang and stuff so omg yes absolutely
Star: "actually unscrew a toilet seat lid and send it to their little sister Ginny" I FORGOT THEY DID THIS ????
Sunny: weird details of the HP books have stuck with me, so I couldn’t resist bringing this one up. Like just imagine an owl flying to their house with a FULL FUCKING TOILET SEAT IN ITS CLAWS
Star: "you were always on her good side" no joke, friends mom's LOVE ME ! I am a delight to be around, according to the middle aged women who didnt birth me
Sunny: okay like I am so 50/50 with this, because I was always super super polite and sometimes just the act of saying ‘please and thank you’ would super impress my friends’ parents and make them think I was a saint, and sometimes I was known as the corrupting force in my friends’ lives because I had blue hair and I would convince my friends to watch really gory horror movies so I was known as the ‘bad one’ because whenever my friends went out with me, we would watch horror movies and stay up too late and eat too much junk food (which is way low on the scale of bad things teenagers can do, but I was like the Scandalous One to my friends with really strict parents)
Star: "or lose their teeth trying to eat a deck of Exploding Snap" respect
Sunny: okay but like the fact that they give CHILDREN a card game that EXPLODES is insane. This would result in many injuries
Star: "I haven’t been this tossed off my tits in quite a while!" CANON ENGLISH READER !!!!!! SKSKSKS fucking love that, will be stealing it
Sunny: this so randomly came to mind and this line actually inspired the bookend parts of the fic. I just love the fact that British people will use any verb to say drunk. Like they will say ‘pissed’ and mean drunk and I love that for them
Star: “And I really, really missed you, Fred” KSKSKSKS oh drunken confessions <3 (same vibe as "whyd you say bye squidward twice?" "i like squidward")
Sunny: LITERALLY the same energy as ‘why’d you say bye Squidward twice’ like she extra double missed Fred and she can’t help but to say it. And then George knows that’s his queue to leave because he can’t take his brother pining over this girl for years more
Star: "annoyance and attraction were two twigs on the same branch, the tree just needed to be shaken a little for something romantic to happen" my self ships all in one very well written sentence
Sunny: I literally thought I was creating brilliance when I was writing this, because this describes so many existing popular ships but also it’s one of my favourite tropes to write (along with the trope in this fic - idiots to lovers)
Star: "unsightly pieces of George left behind" horrifying : D
Sunny: okay but the entire concept of Splinching is SO HORRIFYING. Like you could just ACCIDENTALLY LEAVE YOUR LEG BEHIND and then you don’t have a leg anymore ??? I totally understand why they have the Floo instead. I would rather only take the fucking Floo oh my god
Star: "but he knew that you had missed him as a friend, just as a good friend" DO YOU KNOW THAT FREDERICK ?? DO YOU ????????
Sunny: one of my FAVOURITE PARTS of writing ‘idiots to lovers’ is thinking that the other person could NEVER think of you as anything more than a friend, and it coming as a shocking revelation when they find out. Ooomf GOOD SOUP
Star: “You’re a menace to society, Fred Weasley” dreamy sigh yeah
Sunny: he is the most menacing EVER and I LOVE IT
Star: "Wanting to match him, you did the same" oh the flashbacks to my first (and only) ever shot… i tried to do just that, WAS NOT SUCCESFULL
Sunny: fun fact… I write fics like this without ever having drank alcohol in my life. I don’t drink because of my chronic illness, so it’s so funny when people who actually drink read or review my fics
Star: "Bugger off, then" fred, sweety, I think this is the time for real swearing (at least call them cunts or something)
Sunny: OKAY BUT YOU ARE SO REAL FOR THIS OMG. I didn’t even think about this when I was writing the fic omg
Star: "He tossed it down to the floor and it exploded into a cloud of pure, thick darkness" AAAAAAA LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO !!! this is so incredibly funny and silly, i love it here
Sunny: one of my favourite parts of writing Harry Potter fics is that they are funny and silly. I highly enjoyed writing this lmao
Star: "Everything about you is ‘much’, Fred" EYOOOOOO sksksks sorry
Sunny: yes we are talking about his brilliant personality and his giant di-
Star: "you finally realised what he had been trying to say" well nothing like multiple years apart to jog one's memory
Sunny: SERIOUSLY like they would have the kind of friendship that is so cuddly and affectionate and everyone around them would assume they are a couple or be waiting for them to just get together (like Molly and Arthur would look at them and just HEAR WEDDING BELLS) and they would be like ‘no we’re just super close best friends’ and then Y/N spends a few years away and comes back and is like FUCK HE LIKED ME THE WHOLE TIME. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT
Star: "I thought perhaps you’d get the bloody point when I asked you to be my date to the Yule Ball” I'm absolutely that type of dumb and self sabotagy
Sunny: this is too real. Especially because Fred probably got halfway through the night and realized that Y/N didn’t even know it was a real date, so he took her somewhere secluded and prepared another epic romantic confession, only for Snape to come by and be like ‘what are you miscreants doing, this is a restricted area, get back into the Great Hall or go to your dormitory’ and Fred almost pulled his hair out because he was interrupted yet again
Star: "French arsehole named Pierre" hey dont say that ! …i'd never date a guy named Pierre : )
Sunny: okay but like fully angst mode… imagine Fred laying awake in bed at night, thinking about Y/N living in France, thinking that she left England because she had 0 interest in him and she doesn’t miss him and doesn’t think about him and she has met someone else and she’s fallen in love and she’s gonna get married and have kids and never come back and he missed his chance with the woman he’s in love with, so he thinks that he’s gonna die along hung up on her and missing her while George gets married and gets to be happy with Katie
Star: “It’s always been you" top 3 romance tropes that kill me every time
Sunny: IT’S SO PERFECT. Also imagine how happy Molly is gonna be because the first time she sees Y/N after years, she gets to hear the news that her and Fred are FINALLY together. Perfection
Kisses Like Fire Whiskey
Fred Weasley x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader
Summary:
When you come back from a long healing apprenticeship in France, you and Fred catch up over drinks, reminiscing about your days as mischievous rebels. In the drunken haze, some important things are realized.
Fred Weasley x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Fluff (with a slight bit of Angst). Set post Deathly Hallows and during Goblet of Fire.
Word Count: 7,500
Harry Potter Masterlist | AO3 Link
Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: this is bookended with scenes that take place after the war, but obviously this is a Fred Lives AU; part of this takes place after main storyline of Deathly Hallows and part of it takes place in a flashback during Goblet of Fire (when Fred and the reader are in their sixth year); the reader and Fred are the same age; while part of this takes places post Deathly Hallows, there isn't mentions of the war; it's never mentioned exactly how long the reader was away, but the reader and Fred are both in their early 20s in the bookended parts; drinking and drunkenness are major plot points in this fic, as well as underage drinking; underage characters being in a bar/pub; Fred and the reader both drink, but there are mentions of Fred seeming more sober than the reader/handling his alcohol better; they are drunk to the point of lowering their inhibitions, but not to the point of passing out or forgetting things; mentions of George x Katie Bell as a background ship; mentions of splinching/the dangers of Apparating while drunk (does not actually happen in the fic, everyone is fine); mentions of vomiting due to over consumption of alcohol (doesn't happen to any of the main characters of this fic, it's a very small background element); passing mention of a cursed object that makes people spit up their own blood; creepy men approach the reader (and Fred defends her) - minor sexual harassment from older men toward the reader; this does use Y/N (I started out as a Quizilla girly, I will live and die by Y/N); this is mostly just mutual pining and fluff with a love confession at the end. So please enjoy!!
A/N: when I read the original request, I was inspired to take it a lot further, and after writing The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes, I have realized that I really loving writing simplistic fics that are mutual pining that turns into a love confession. It's so much fun.
...
“So then - so then - Bill says: ‘where’s Percy?’, and Mum looks around the table and realises Perce is even there.” George chuckled brightly, topping off the telling of another one of their chaotic childhood stories.
“‘Course, Mum blamed it on us.” Fred said, rolling his eyes.
“As if she was wrong!” You argued, reaching out and smacking him on the shoulder playfully.
Your words were louder to your own ears than you had intended to say them, slurring slightly on your lips. Perhaps you had more to drink than you had realised, but you were simply having fun catching up with your dearest, oldest friends. So you couldn’t bring yourself to truly care or view it as a problem.
You were simply overjoyed to see Fred and George again.
You were visiting England for the first time in years, and naturally, the Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes shop had been your first stop. You had grown up with the twins - since your first year at Hogwarts together, they had been two of your closest friends. Ever since you had been sorted into Gryffindor with them, the three of you had been thick as thieves. Right from the moment you had suggested to them that they actually unscrew a toilet seat lid and send it to their little sister Ginny in the post when they had initially just been joking about doing so. Ginny had found it highly amusing - their mother, not so much.
But when you met Molly for the first time in person, you were always on her good side. You were very good at playing the ‘perfect angel’ in front of authority figures (unlike the twins). So you could very easily bat your eyelashes and say a few sweet things, as well as being on your best behaviour on the surface, before sneaking around with the twins at night and helping them with their pranks - not that anyone else ever suspected you of doing so.
You were the perfect accomplice for them. Someone who was labelled as a goody-two-shoes who was down for mischief at any time.
You had been slightly heartbroken when you found out that they were planning to quit their Seventh Year partyway through in order to start their joke shop. You knew that it had always been a dream of theirs, and it was your dream to see them succeed in it. But a large part of you had been hoping to graduate with your best friends by your side. They had offered for you to come with them, of course. They told you that you could have a very fulfilling career at the shop. But you had other plans for yourself.
So you watched them ride off on their brooms, cheering and hollering for them alongside everyone else. And after your graduation, you had come to visit the shop in its full glory, seeing its whimsical beauty with your own eyes before you left England. As much as you hated that your lives had taken such different paths, you admired them deeply for succeeding.
Since then, you had been in France. You had taken on a prestigious healing apprenticeship in order to become a high level Healer. It was something you had always dreamed of doing - helping people through the skilled art of healing.
Perhaps, in some ways, it was a career choice inspired partially by your two best friends - seeing them blow themselves up or get horrible boils testing their own products, you wanted to be able to soothe the side effects faster. And you knew that there were plenty more children out there like them. Children who would fall from trees pretending to be a dragon or lose their teeth trying to eat a deck of Exploding Snap, children who needed gentle understanding from a Healer rather than scolding.
You had recently finished up your apprenticeship, and you were hoping to get a job at St. Mungo’s to be closer to the people you always viewed as family. But even just stepping foot back in the twins’ shop felt like home. You had been greeted with tight hugs and so much chatter between them about missing you that you could barely decipher the words between two voices. They had invited you up to the flat above the shop for a drink - so now, hours later, you were quite tipsy and feeling the best that you had in years.
“You know boys, I haven’t - I haven’t been this tossed off my tits in quite a while!” You announced loudly, pausing between words to let out a small hiccup, signifying just how drunk you were.
You weren’t at the level of drunk where things were unpleasant - not where the room was spinning and you were on the verge of passing out, battling with nausea. But your normal sense of proprietary had definitely been tossed out the window, you felt fuzzy around the edges, and everything felt delightfully warm. Especially considering you had been drinking Fire Whiskey.
You hadn’t had a drink all throughout your apprenticeship, as much as the other young people working with you encouraged you to ‘take a load off’ every once and a while. Your work was something that you took very seriously (especially when Fred and George weren’t around to tempt you with pranks and daily mischief). So this was the first time in a long time that you had actually taken the time to relax, and the alcohol was hitting you a lot harder than even you realised.
The boys chuckled at your words, George turning bright red from how hard he was laughing. Perhaps the booze was hitting him pretty hard too. While Fred’s eyes were dancing with that brightness they always had when he was having fun, he didn’t seem quite as sloppy. You hadn’t been paying attention, but he likely didn’t have as much to drink, and had simply been enjoying your company the entire time.
“You know, I really missed you, Fred and George.” You said, pure sincerity dripping through your tone, your affection amplified in your chest by your drunkenness. You couldn’t hold yourself back - your emotions bubbling to the surface without your consent. “And I really, really missed you, Fred.”
You turned to him, putting a warm hand on his shoulder, your touch practically burning up through the sleeve of his silken shirt (you were surprised by how nicely the twins dressed now that they were established bussinessmen). You hated that you couldn’t hold back the need to emphasise the fact that you had missed Fred just a bit more. But he had been on your mind a lot more than his brother had, as scarily similar as they were.
Even if you had barely admitted it to yourself, throughout all your years at Hogwarts, you had a romantic inclination towards Fred.
It was never something you had acted on, for fear of ruining the amazing friendship that the two of you had. But as your visit to England grew closer and closer, you found yourself losing focus on your work and thinking about him more and more. You wondered if he had found someone - you wondered if his good looks, his charm, his humour had landed him a wife in the time that you had been gone. It wouldn’t have surprised you if, during the time you had been gone, he had married or even had kids.
Obviously he had a wonderful career nailed down, so a family would have been the natural next step for him.
Those thoughts made you approach the shop’s door with equal parts dread and excitement. You eagerly wanted to see him again but didn’t want to see that there was a ring on his finger. You had been all too happy to find out during your long, winding ‘catch up’ conversation that, in fact, he was still single. George had brought up that fact more than once, actually, nagging on his brother’s lonely status like it was the most recent funny joke he could prod at.
When you heard him talk about it, there was that insecurity still bubbling beneath the surface - the thought that you had missed your chance, or that Fred had never been interested in you romantically at all. It was something that couldn’t even be knocked away by booze, and that was gnawing at you now that storytime was winding down.
Fred and George exchanged a look - one of those silent conversations that could only be had through micro-expressions because of their closeness as twins. It was something that had always deeply irritated you during your days at Hogwarts, desperately trying to decipher if it meant ‘close to expulsion’ trouble or simply ‘skipping a class’ trouble.
“Well, would you look at the time,” George said, loudly and rather cartoonishly as he looked at his watch. It was something that you likely would have found suspect if you weren’t feeling hazy and drunk. “I told Katie I would pop over to hers sometime this weekend, so I should get going,”
Something that had come as a brilliant surprise to you: finding out that George was now engaged to Katie Bell.
Not only were you shocked to know that George seemed more than eager to ‘settle down’ and get married, but you were entirely curious about how they came to be as a couple. Especially considering that, as far as you knew, she had always seemed to find the twins’ pranks more annoying than anything else.
But you supposed that annoyance and attraction were two twigs on the same branch, the tree just needed to be shaken a little for something romantic to happen. The two of them hadn’t officially moved in together yet, as much as George talked about her with those sweet, rose-coloured lenses, and seemed to want to spend all his time around her. The twins still lived in the flat above the shop, two twin beds in the bedroom, as they always had in their room at the Burrow. But from the way Fred remarked on it, and from what you had seen glancing into their bedroom when you had gotten up to use the toilet, George was over at Katie’s far more than he was at their flat.
You couldn’t help but to find it sweet. George was in love.
It made you happy for him, knowing that he had found someone good for him. But thinking about it caused a pang in your chest as you wondered if Fred was lonely. You knew that loneliness certainly wasn’t a feeling that he was used to. If it was you or George, or one of his many other brothers, he always had someone at his side to keep him company.
You could only imagine what those nights were like - when the shop closed up and George popped off to his soon to be wife’s place, leaving Fred to nothing but the quiet. (You knew that Weasleys were never good with quiet - part of the reason that the twins were the way that they were.)
George peeled himself off the floor, where the three of you had been sitting around the coffee table in the lounge. Like a gangly baby deer, he began stumbling about due to his own drunkenness before he gained a proper footing and finally managed to stand up straight. You let out a snorting laugh at the sight and Fred - very clearly the most sober of the three of you - rushed out of his seat to grab George by the shoulders, making sure that his brother was alright.
“You sure that you’re okay to Apparate, Georgie?” Fred asked.
That kindness, that caring - it was something people often overlooked when they saw Fred Weasley. But it was one of the things that had drawn you to him the most. He was such a sweet person, and he cared about the people in his life with such a ferocity that it made your soul ache just to know that you were one of them.
“I’ll be fine, Freddie.” George replied.
Fred picked up George’s coat and began helping him into it, and you barely paid attention to the hushed conversation that the two of them had as you picked up the large (now rather light) bottle of Fire Whiskey and poured yourself another drink.
You caught something online the lines of ‘just go for it, for Merlin’s sake’ - very strained and annoyed, but you honestly had no clue what they were talking about. As you took a sip of your drink - you truly didn’t care.
Fred heaved out a sigh and then George disappeared with a crack. You craned your neck to look at the spot where he had been, just wanting to make sure that there was no blood or unsightly pieces of George left behind. There weren’t any - he had done fine.
“Havin’ another one, are we?” Fred remarked, walking around the coffee table to collapse onto the plush couch behind your back.
You chugged the rest of the Fire Whiskey from your glass all in one go, growling slightly as it burned sharply down your throat before you put the glass down once again.
“I’m celebrating!” You cheered loudly - again, much louder than you intended it to be. “I missed my best friends so much. It’s so - so good to be home.”
“But apparently you missed me just a bit more?” Fred chuckled, referring to your comment from before.
You moved to get up on the couch with him, and found your legs unsteady beneath you. Fred saw what you were doing and put a hand on your upper arm, hauling you back to sit on the cushions beside him. You moaned quietly at the warmth of his large hand on your bare skin, exposed by the camisole you were wearing. At one point, you had been wearing a nice cardigan, but you had stripped out of it as the alcohol drove your body temperature up.
You leaned back into the couch, and cuddled up against him. His body was soft and muscled at the same time, and he felt so nice against you. With your inhibitions lowered, you could see no fault in snuggling tightly into his side and laying your head on his chest. You wanted to simply enjoy the physical affection from a person you had missed so dearly.
You didn’t see the pure warring on Fred’s face as you did this - the confliction and yearning and hurt flashing over his features. He had missed you too, but he knew that you had missed him as a friend, just as a good friend, and not as the ‘one that got away’ that he had been thinking about every damn day since. But he could be cool about this, he told himself. He wouldn’t let his stupid feelings get in the way.
After a moment of pushing those pesky feelings back down, he finally relaxed into your touches and wrapped an arm around you, lazily brushing his fingers across the bare skin of your arm on the other side. You sighed happily at the feeling. From this close, he could smell the feminine floral waft of your perfume in combination with the hot cinnamon of the Fire Whiskey. And though it only made him yearn more, it was heaven.
He was all too happy to have you this close rather than you being so far away in France. He was happy to have you home.
“Do you want to stay the night?” He asked. “George’s bed will be empty, of course.”
He added on that second part quickly - he wanted you to feel comfortable, didn’t want to put any pressure on you to keep up this closeness, even if you seemed cuddly and affectionate because of your drunken state.
Originally, you had been planning to get a room at The Leaky Cauldron, but the twins’ shop had been your very first stop, and they had torn your suitcase out of your hands to bring it upstairs for you, so it was currently sitting off to the side of the lounge with your coat draped over it. And you never did get that room. Now, you realised it was laughable to think that you’d be staying anywhere but with friends, especially with the Molly Weasley hospitality baked right into them. You had to assume that even if George wasn’t at Katie’s, he would have slept on the couch so that you could take his bed anyway.
“Freddie, you know, I don’t think I’m going to get very far.” You said. “You - you got me pretty d-drunk.”
Fred smiled to himself. “Ah, I see. Once again, it is all my fault.”
It was something you did at large during your days at Hogwarts. You blamed him for yourself being late to class, you getting detentions, the few times you had ended up on Molly’s bad side. When in reality, you had always been a cheerful, willing participant in their chaos, you had always ‘blamed’ him for dragging you into it. But it only made him tempt you into more trouble.
“It is,” You sighed, turning your head to give him a wide grin. “You always g-get me into trouble.”
Fred let out a quiet laugh at this, and you laid your head on this chest once again. The two of you mulled in the comfortable silence for a few moments before you thought of something.
“You know, this-s reminds me, of - of the first time you got me drunk.” You told him with a laugh.
“Oh, god, back in sixth year?” He posed, returning to the memory himself. “That was epic. I still don’t know if I’d call it an epic disaster, or epic fun.”
“Bit of both.” You mumbled quietly. “Always is with you.”
Sitting there, curled up next to the lovely warmth of him, you remembered the night so fondly.
…
Leave it to Fred Weasley to pull you out of bed at half past two in the morning with no solid explanation as to why, aside from ‘we have plans’.
When you asked him why he couldn’t conduct those plans with George, as he usually did, he simply smirked and said that George had plans of his own. Which deeply worried you - but you tried your best to ignore it. You knew from experience that Fred wasn’t a walking troublemaker all the time.
In fact, the events of just a short week ago had proven that to you. He had invited you to the Yule Ball (as friends, of course) and the entire evening had been absolutely pleasant. No pranks - no water balloons, no coloured dye, no buckets of feathers, no charmed objects, no floods. It had been nothing but a delightful night of dancing and chatting with your friends.
Even now, as Fred pulled you into the mouth of a very small passageway that you had never seen before (one that caused you to slump over in order to walk through it), you pulled your scarf tighter around yourself and tried your hardest not to worry about what he might be up to. At the very least, if he was planning something large and disruptive, you would know about it, so that you wouldn’t be on the receiving end.
He had told you that these ‘plans’ involved going outdoors, so you had bundled up well, because there was still quite a few feet of snow outside and it was chilly, seeing as it was so late at night. But you hadn’t expected it to be so damn cold, walking in a random mystery tunnel underneath the school. Again, you had no clue where he was taking you or where the thing even led - you were simply glad when it became tall enough for you to straighten your back up.
“Where are we going, Fred?” You demanded harshly.
“You’ll see.” Fred told you, throwing a wicked grin over his shoulder at you as he continued to lead you forward through the darkness - the light of his wand being the only thing leading the way in the musty old tunnel.
“Nothing good ever happens when you say those words.” You replied, heaving a deep sigh.
“Well, perhaps, you could keep your mind open this time.” He said brightly. “Loosen up. Be open to all the possibilities that the universe has to offer you,”
You rolled your eyes at this. He was trying to direct your attention away from whatever scheme he had planned, that much was immediately clear to you.
“Is this an escape tunnel out of the country because you finally did something bad enough for your mother to kill you?” You joked. “Let me guess, you’re meeting George in Germany? What was it that finally pushed her over the edge? Did she find out that you two took bets at the World Cup? Did she find out about the-?”
Your words were abruptly cut off when Fred tapped his wand on the wall in front of him. It was a seemingly a dead end wall made of stone, keeping the two of you trapped at the end of the tunnel. But when he whispered some incantation under his breath, the stone began to grind loudly and it parted ways - letting in a gust of cold air from the outside, revealing the way out.
Fred stepped forward and you continued to follow him. As the stone grinded closed behind the two of you (now disguised as nothing more than a large, natural boulder) you gaped with shock as you saw a cluster of lights just down the hill and you quickly realised what it was.
“Hogsmeade.” You declared quietly, entirely shocked that you had walked through a dirty tunnel and ended up here.
Somehow, without getting caught - without setting off any charms that should supposedly be in place to keep the students on the school’s grounds.
Fred nodded proudly, grinning at you.
“How-?” You gaped.
“I have my ways, don’t I?” Fred said, his chest visibly puffing out with pride.
You decided not to question it. Especially because you fully understood it now - Fred was bored, he knew a way out of the school, and he simply wanted to have fun in Hogsmeade instead of laying in bed that night.
Fred took a hold of your hand as the two of you walked into town, and you took a quiet joy in observing Hogsmeade at night. Quite a few of the shops were closed, due to it being so late, which did make you wonder why Fred had even bothered to bring you there.
But he soon answered your question when he brought you to The Three Broomsticks - which was lit up, bustling and lively at this time. You knew that the front door was enchanted to alert the owner of underage wizards trying to pass through at certain times. Before you could even wonder what Fred’s plan was for that one - he led you around to the back, and he caught the back door out of someone’s hand as they ran outside and began puking in a snowbank, obviously unable to handle their liquor.
The two of you slipped in the back door completely undetected, seeing as it didn’t have those same enchantments to alert the owner of your presence. You began tingling with the glee that you always wore whenever Fred pulled you along to perform some mischief. You felt so joyous when you paired up to share wicked secrets with him. Fred had a talent for getting away with things (and other times, he so fabulously didn’t) - but he got away with a lot more than anybody ever realised, right under their noses. You felt clever just being around him most of the time.
With all the confidence in the world, still holding your hand, Fred pushed past some other rowdy patrons and waltzed right up to the bar. He tossed down a few Sickles (bet money that he and George had won from the World Cup, you could guarantee) and you couldn’t help but to grin at him as so confidently placed an order.
“Two Fire Whiskeys, please.” He announced, never once skipping a beat or faltering as any other underage person in a bar would.
It was strange to say, but Fred wore playful deception so well. You knew that you were staring at him with intense attraction written all over your face as you admired his antics. You simply hoped that he wouldn’t catch the love dopey look on your face and call you out on it.
“Coming right up, love-” Madam Rosmerta began to comply with his request without issue, but she took pause when she looked up from drying a glass with a rag long enough to truly look at the two of you.
That was the moment you thought it was over, for sure. You thought that she would send an angry owl up to Hogwarts, and the two of you would be done for. You began to imagine what kind of sick and twisted punishment McGonagall would have in store for the two of you - scrubbing cauldrons for weeks, trimming all the grass on the Quidditch pitch with scissors.
But somehow, Fred was a lot more clever than that. He wasn’t going to give up and simply let himself be caught.
“Aren’t you two a little… young to be in here?” She posed, glancing between the two of you and then looking back toward the front door, as though she was expecting the enchantments to suddenly begin wailing to alert her to a couple of underage wizards in the pub. Even though the two of you had successfully made it all the way over to the bar without that happening.
“Young?” Fred scoffed, putting on his very best tone of fake offence. “Honestly, woman, why would a couple of kids be in a pub at three in the morning?”
Rosmerta raised a brow at him, making it clear that she didn’t buy this - at least not yet.
Your stomach curled with nerves, and you tried your hardest not to show it on your face. You knew that this would either end in a spectacular punishment, or Fred would pull off one of his greatest hoaxes yet.
“Perhaps you might recognize us from when we were Hogwarts students,” Fred shrugged, trying his best to sound casual. “But we graduated year before last. And we just got off a very long shift with the Department of Cursed Objects, and we would simply like a drink.”
“Yeah, that last one was a doozy.” Your tongue moved before you gave it permission, and you found yourself leaning on the bar as you added onto Fred’s lie. “We had to hunt down this set of silver teaware that poisoned anyone who drank out of it. They were spitting up blood, and rotting from the inside out, choking on their own-”
“My apologies.” Rosmerta said, giving a curt smile. Clearly, she was increasingly uncomfortable with the graphic nature of your made-up story, and simply wanted you and Fred out of her way. “You must be right. The students from the school all start to blend together after the years. How ‘bout that drink then?”
She turned to grab a pair of non-cursed glasses, and when you glanced over at Fred, he was grinning widely at you.
“Good one.” He whispered into your ear, and you couldn’t help the shiver that went through you at the feeling of his hot breath on your neck. If asked, you would say that it was caused by the chill of someone opening the door, and not caused by your unbearable attraction to him.
When the drinks were placed on the bar in front of you, Rosmerta scurried off to attend to someone else. You picked up the glass that was half filled with the amber liquid, feeling intense victory and satisfaction flowing through you. In a predictable pattern, you and Fred gently clinked your glasses together.
But rather than making a congratulatory toast in celebration of getting away with the lies, you grinned widely at him as you said this:
“You’re a menace to society, Fred Weasley.”
“You love it.” He replied easily, giving you a cheeky wink as he tossed back the liquid in one clean gulp. He winced slightly and sucked in a breath sharply through his teeth. But it was clearly not his first time drinking, and you had to guess that Bill was the one responsible for that.
Wanting to match him, you did the same - you tipped the glass back, letting all of the liquid slide past your lips and down your throat in one go. It burnt sharply in a way that you absolutely weren’t expecting, and you began coughing and sputtering, giving away your amateur nature in one glance. It was lucky that Rosmerta wasn’t looking. Fred rubbed your back soothingly, though he did take a moment to laugh at you.
“Burns, doesn’t it?” He chuckled.
“You c-could’ve warned me.”
…
A short while later, the burn of the alcohol was certainly no longer a concern for you. You supposed that was part of the point - if booze made you drunk and detached from yourself, they didn’t have to make it taste good. Because after a while, you just didn’t taste it.
You and Fred were three rounds deep, and even though he was matching you drink for drink, he was far more composed than you were. He hardly seemed drunk at all, other than the cute way he giggled at your jokes. Perhaps it was because of his height, or his Quidditch playing muscles, but he was handling his alcohol surprisingly well.
You, on the other hand - you were properly sloshed.
You had shed most of your winter clothing and spread the pieces haphazardly around the table that Fred had sat the two of you at. And you were currently trying to balance one of the empty shot glasses on your forehead - just to prove that you could, while Fred watched on in amusement.
Of course, he was partially amused by your drunken antics, and partially watching your cleavage threaten to burst out of your tight, V neck tee shirt as you arched your back furiously, trying to keep the glass balanced there. Since you had shed off your jacket and thick jumper, this was what you were left in, along with your tight jeans and boots - and Fred found that he couldn’t keep his eyes off you.
“See! Told you I could do it!” You cheered, proud of yourself as you finally reached up and took the glass down, and then moved back to sit in your chair in front of Fred.
He couldn’t help but to smile at you. Honestly, he would never doubt you in anything you set your mind to. If you said that you could walk up walls or make Snape dance a jig, he would simply wait to watch it happen.
As he watched your proud smile and the way that the slightly drunken confidence caused you to sit up a bit taller, seeing the light from the fireplace gently kiss your skin - he was reminded of why he had brought you here in the first place. He let the alcohol in his own system give him courage (something that had been built into the plan) and he reached across the table, grabbing your hand gently with both of his.
The suddenly serious look that befell Fred’s face surprised you. That sense of surprise only grew when he took hold of your hand. He had more than captured your attention as he began to speak.
“Y/N, there’s something I really need to tell you.” Fred announced, his voice taking on a very rare serious quality.
It was something you had only heard from him when he talked about the possible ways to fund his joke shop or when you had fallen off a broom playing Quidditch at the Burrow and he had been worried about you being hurt. You nodded, stunned into silence, wondering if this meant bad news coming, eager for him to continue.
“Y/N, darling, you truly are the most amazing thing in my life.” He said, giving a small smile. Hearing this made your stomach tingle - it made the clasp of his hands around yours feel warmer. “You are so utterly brilliant. And you’re funny, and you’re the only girl I know who actually laughs at the stupid pranks I pull. I absolutely love spending time with you. I genuinely can’t imagine my life without you. So much so, that-”
“Hello, sweet thing.”
Fred’s words were disrupted by a deep voice, someone behind you who grumbled out these words and then let out a low whistle.
It took you a moment to realise that it was even directed at you. But when Fred’s face switched from that sweet smile to a harsh glare - a look that was rare for him, you followed his intense gaze over your shoulder to see what he was looking at.
It was a group of three men, much older than you, greasy-haired, wearing dark cloaks - staring at you like a pack of coyotes would stare at a hunk of fresh meat. Their gaze immediately made you feel naked, and though you were blazen hot, between the Fire Whiskey coursing through your system and the heat of the fireplace licking at you nearby, you had the urge to grab your jumper and pull it on over your head simply so that they would stop looking.
“Now what is a pretty thing like you doing in this dirty old pub?” One of the men asked, his voice feeling filthy in your ears and causing your spine to curl with disgust and something that you would hesitate to admit was fear. “Surely you must be lost, sweet thing. Need someone to show you the way home, then?”
You quickly jumped out of your chair and moved around the table to Fred’s side, where he had risen and easily swept you into his side with an arm around your shoulders. In a moment, you felt safer under his protective touch as he continued to glare at the men.
“Bugger off, then!” Fred ordered sharply.
“Oh, ‘bugger off’,” One of the others mocked Fred’s words in a whiny tone - clearly they didn’t take him seriously because he was obviously younger, even if he was quite tall for his age.
“What are you, her little boyfriend?” Another one of them joked.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.” Fred stated confidently, tossing in the obvious lie. “And I can tell you that brushing your teeth is one of the first requirements to getting a woman of this calibre,”
You resisted the urge to laugh at how his statement made their faces immediately meek and embarrassed.
“Well, if she wants a real man, that’s up to her to decide.” The man said gruffly. “Innit, princess?”
When he tossed out the nickname, you felt bile curl in your stomach, and it took you only a second to move when Fred uttered his next words to you.
“Grab your coat. We’re leaving.”
You scrambled around the table to get your jumper, mittens, hat, scarf, and your coat. As you were reaching across to one of the chairs to grab the last item, one of the men actually had the audacity to grab your wrist, stopping you from pulling back with the item in hand.
“If the girl wants to stay and have fun, that’s her choice.” He grumbled.
You wanted to tout that no, your idea of fun wasn’t hanging around men like this, but your voice was shrunken down into your throat with fear.
His grip around you was stiff and painful, and you immediately looked to Fred - whose jaw was set with a seething anger that you had only seen in him once before (when Malfoy had dared to insult Ginny right in front of him). He reached one hand into his pocket and leaned on the table with the other hand.
The man still didn’t let go of you, and you wondered if Fred’s hand was sitting on his wand in his pocket.
“Listen, bud, I don’t speak troll, so I’ll say this very slowly for you,” Fred announced, his voice dark with anger. “Let. Her. Go.”
The man immediately became outraged at being called a troll, and he moved his hand off your wrist, curling it into a hefty fist that he moved to swing at Fred’s head.
Fred ducked out of the way seamlessly, and you pulled your coat into the pile of clothes at your chest as Fred’s hand came out of his pocket with a lump of something black that looked almost like ordinary coal. He tossed it down to the floor and it exploded into a cloud of pure, thick darkness. Before you could truly comprehend what was going on, Fred’s comforting arm was around your shoulders, guiding you back out the back door of the pub.
You were thankful to be surrounded by cool air, the anxiety unwinding around you as Fred guided you away from the scene.
“Freddie, that was amazing!” You gasped, more than happy to praise him for saving you from those creeps.
You trudged along through the snow, incredibly chilly now that the wind kissed your bare arms and you held your jumper and your jacket rather than wearing them. But you were distracted from that feeling as you stared at the pub. You heard muffled coughs and voices loudly complaining, and as you circled around to the front, you saw the dark smoke overtaking any light that was inside, so much so that it began to pour out from the chimney and leak out of the cracks around the front door.
“What was that?” You had to ask, looking on in pure curiosity of the concoction that he had released into the pub.
“...new product George and I have been working on,” Fred admitted, his voice quivering with nerves slightly as he heard the coughs and sputters from inside. “Should probably adjust the size of the pellets, though. That was a bit… much.”
“Everything about you is ‘much’, Fred.” You said, still feeling that beautiful drunken warmth. It morphed into pure admiration toward him that you could hardly hold back. “That’s what makes you great.”
Fred chuckled at this.
He helped you get dressed back in your warm clothes, and the two of you walked back to the castle through that secret tunnel once again. He never quite built up the courage to get back to that topic he had so badly wanted to discuss - the entire reason he had taken you to Hogsmeade in the first place. But he basked in the simple joys of the night as the two of you talked in the Gryffindor common room and eventually, you fell asleep cuddled up to his chest while lounging on a couch in front of the fire.
…
Now, all these years later, curled up on the couch with him much like you had been that night - you finally realised what he had been trying to say.
“Oh my god.” You gasped quietly, opening your eyes and sitting stark upright.
Fred was surprised by this, seeing as he thought that you were starting to fall asleep on his chest. He had been sitting there quietly, mentally debating if he should levitate you to bed or risk the neck cramps of sleeping upright on the couch himself.
“What?” He asked quietly, feeling entirely clueless.
“Oh. My. God!” You screamed, jumping off the couch and pointing an accusatory finger at him.
“What? What?!” He asked, the word growing in volume and sense of alarm in his mouth the longer you went without telling him what was wrong.
“That day - that day-” You were struggling to gather your thoughts into words, a drunken slur still slightly evident on your tongue. Though the anxiety and panic that had suddenly set in had woken up quite a few of your senses.
“What? What day?” Fred parroted back, even more confused.
“That day.” You repeated, pressing emphasis on the word. “That time, back in sixth year, when we snuck out to Hogsmeade.”
A look of dawning came across Fred’s features, and he became more sullen than you had ever seen him. It was something that punched you sharply in the chest as the realisation hit you even harder now.
You had been so stupid. How could you not have known it back then?
“You… you were gonna confess your feelings to me.” You said quietly, almost afraid to speak the words aloud.
Perhaps he could have saved himself some pain if he lied, but he saw no good sense in denying it.
“Yes.” He said quietly, unshed tears scraping the inside of his throat.
“What-?” Now it was your turn to gape with confusion. “Was that the only time? Why then?”
“That certainly was not the only bloody time.” Fred chuckled, the laughter sounding heavy and dark in his throat rather than joyous and light as it usually did coming from him. “I tried about a million other times before then - at the Quidditch World Cup, before we ran into your cousins who just so desperately needed your attention. On the train that year, before Katie burst in and stole you away to chat on about what a great summer you had. I thought perhaps you’d get the bloody point when I asked you to be my date to the Yule Ball.”
It felt as though an icy shard was shoved right through your heart.
You had been so stupid.
“I - I thought you asked me to go as friends.” You told him, entirely honest about your viewpoint.
“Well that just makes me feel like the biggest arse in existence.” Fred shrugged.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You barked out, feeling an intense frustration rush over you.
You felt indignant, annoyed. You felt like something had been stolen from you - information, time that you should have spent with Fred as your boyfriend rather than the time you had spent simply wishing he was.
Fred scoffed at this, clearly hurt.
“Well, Y/N, at a certain point, I lost my balls!” He shouted back. That was a harsh thing to imagine - Fred Weasley losing the courage to take a risk. “I thought that after all the damn interruptions, the universe just didn’t want you to know that I’m hopeless bleedin’ in love with you.”
Your throat clenched up when he said it in the present tense - said like he still had those feelings for you. You wanted so badly to say it back, but your voice was caught in your throat for a harsh moment. It caused a pitiable silence over the room that made him rush to continue.
“Honestly, I thought - I thought it might be different after you left.”
He said quietly, his voice breaking around the words slightly.
“I thought that not seeing you every day… that I might be able to forget how I felt. But it only got worse. I thought about you every single day, and I missed you so badly. And now that you’re standing here in front of me - now, you’re not just some girl I fancied in school, now… you have turned into this magnificent woman that I love. And it would be my biggest regret if you didn’t know that.”
Fred confessed, his words so passionate that it caused tingles down your spine, and goosebumps across your arms.
“But you’re probably so drunk that you won’t remember this in the morning, and there’s probably some French arsehole named Pierre waiting for you-”
“There’s no one else.” You quickly blurted out, suddenly finding your voice.
Your body finally caught up to your mind, bursting with the urge for him to know this.
“It’s always been you, Fred Weasley.” You announced, your words slicing through the air like a diamond cutting through glass.
His eyes lit up and this, and he stared at you with the slightest bit of hope dancing across his features as he waited, holding his breath for you to possibly confirm the thing he had been dreaming about for years.
“And I certainly won’t forget this. No booze or potion - nothing could make me forget you saying the words I have always wanted to hear.”
You reached out and took a tight grip on the front of his shirt, pulling him toward you with force - you slammed your lips into his, finally doing the thing you had been dreaming of since you were a teenager. He let out a moan as you kissed him with as much intense passion as he had put into his words. Right as his tongue snaked toward your lips, you pulled back for a breath, and simply for good measure:
“I love you, Fred.” You breathed out.
“Oh, thank Merlin.”
#interactions#sundrop speaks#my lovely moots#star-mum#star squared#fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction
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A special shoutout to @galacticidiots for introducing the opera and the set it up twitfic, bc otherwise id never would have set a foot on twitter but, i owe you my life?
#I AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND#ive been crying and laughing like an idiot#i cant fellas...i rly cant#vytalks#back to our regularly scheduled programming#also twitfics might becoming my new fave things#i am emotional your honor
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I'll never quite understand how all my friends/old HS classmates are having, or have, kids already.
Guys. GUYS. I can barely afford to eat. I divide my time between working to death to make ends meet and writing Star Wars Fics for serotonin.
HOW CAN ANYONE AFFORD A CHILD IN THIS ECONOMY????
#real life#excuse me#it's my Bi-weekly Scream#i genuinely do not understand how anyone is buying a house or having kids#i choose between Fic Time and Overtime on the daily#and I'm still just barely ahead of the game#and you're telling me people are choosing Child Time and don't automatically fumble the bag#amazing#tell me your secrets#am I just An Idiot#they didn't teach us that in home ec#thanks for coming to my Ted Talk#real life adjacent#sorry guys i scrolled through no less than four pregnancy announcements and it made me Too Aware#back to our regularly scheduled programming#(but seriously if anyone has any Tips For Adulting? HMU)
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currently listening to margaritaville in class. this is either the best or worst decision i've ever made. no in between
#ranting hours#and now back to your regularly scheduled programming: me being an idiot#y'all should try this some time
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Love Is On Air
Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk
A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin, @moonctzeny, @lenaluvs, @lucas-wongs, @burtonized and to @ncteaxhoe who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.
Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.
“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.
“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”
While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.
“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”
“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”
Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.
“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail [email protected] to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.
Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.
Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.
“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.
Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.
And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”
The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.
“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”
While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.
From: Johnny Are you watching our show?
To: Johnny Sure, you look good today
From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)
“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”
“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.
That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.
With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.
Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.
“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.
When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.
“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.
“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”
Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”
Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.
“Move,” you demanded after a while. “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.
“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”
“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.
“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.
For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.
“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.
“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.
“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”
Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

#johnny#nct#neosmutcollective#neosmutletters#kafenetwork#johnny suh#seo youngho#johnny smut#johnny fluff#nct 127#nct smut#nct fluff#nct 127 smut#nct 127 fluff#johnny imagines#johnny scenarios#johnny fanfic#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct fanfic#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 fanfic
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another helping of living w/ bakugou thoughts:
pls i am so sorry, i feel like i bombard y’all with these constantly, but u don’t understand, he literally lives in my brain full time
- if you’re rolling your sleeves up, to wash your hands before dinner, he’ll whack your hands away and do it himself. very much “you’re takin’ too long, idiot. i wanna eat already. let me do it.”,, don’t be fooled tho, you could do it in 2.5 seconds and he’d still open his mouth. bc it has absolutely nothing to do with u and everything to do with him wanting to be close to you
-ik he watches the mha equivalent of the history channel. i just know it. dude is a grandpa at heart, n im so confident he would 100% sit down and watch a 3 hr docu on like, old weaponry or some nerdy shit
-bakugou is annoyingly arrogant, but only about things that don’t matter. like, he’ll fully sit in front of you and tell you he’s stronger/faster/smarter in passing conversation,, but when he does actually impressive shit??? the man clams up. absolutely clams up the second you praise him, trying to brush off whatever ridiculous feat he just pulled to protect u with a “It’s not that big a deal, shut up about it already, dumbass.”
- pls mans is an absolute simp. u ask him to do something and he’s on his feet in a second. ofc he’s complaining but he’s also then following that up by doing things you didn’t even ask him to do. fan behavior honestly.
-when you’ve had a bad day, he’ll make u food and throw blankets in the dryer for u. don’t expect much verbal comforting from him, bc obviously, but he’s pretty good with actions. you always feel a little warmer after he’s wrapped you in a blanket n fed you something ungodly spicy
- i have absolutely no basis for this but ik he secretly watches kids movies. like, if it’s animated then he’s there. ofc no one is allowed to find out about this ‘embarrassing’ behavior tho, except maybe you. maybe. if you accidentally happen to see it bc he’d never tell u himself.
- he’s a beast to wake up in the morning, but he’s a lot more easy to convince if u pet his hair. or rub his back/shoulders. maybe even kiss his neck. look, u cannot tell me that he doesn’t want to be absolutely coddled in the morning- especially when he can get away with it so easily.
-bakugou always pulls ur legs into his lap if u sit down next to him. pls he’s so weird, he’ll just like, tap his fingers on ur calves absentmindedly while he’s watching tv
-he probably created a playlist of songs ur ‘allowed’ to play around him. meaning, it’s only the songs on ur phone that he likes 🙄
-bakugou always takes his work phone calls outside. like if his phone rings he’ll just stand up n walk tf out the door to take it. even if it’s cold. u ask him once about it n he just “Work stays at work. This is my fuckin’ home. Now shut up about it already.”
-you’ve never once seen this man wearing socks around the house. don’t ask me, i cannot explain this whatsoever, but i just kno this man walks around constantly barefoot 🤢🤮 unfortunately.
-he’s like, the most functional person ever in almost every aspect, but the stuff katsuki is bad at?? pls he is hopelessly bad. like, lets say art stuff. omg he just doesnt have the patience for it, okay, so say goodbye to any dreams of cute lil couple’s crafts. like, he’ll sit there while u do yours, but his will look like utter shit
- during the week, katsuki is either at work, training, or at home. pls, he works so hard during the day that i highly doubt he’s anything but an absolute homebody during the work week.
- bakugou gets pissy if u re-arrange any of the furniture on a whim. pls he likes comfort and familiarity n if he stubs his toe on the stupid coffee table one more fucking time, he’s going to scream
-its a rare occurance,, especially bc of the crazy hours he works,, but bakugou rlly likes making dinner for u to come home to. he just likes to feel like he’s taking care of u tbh
-he still goes to bed at like 8:30. or thats what u think, but rlly he just goes to sit in your room and have some time to himself for a bit. as much as he loves u, he prob still needs some alone time to recharge
-bakugou takes meticulous care of any plants u have in the house. like he’ll water them on a strict-ass schedule, n preen them when necessary. pls the way he’ll curse them out if they even dare to wilt under his care?? very much “What the hell, you bitch? ‘m doin’ everything fuckin’ perfect! Grow already!”
-katsuki is such a little bitch when he’s sick. he’ll be running like a 103 temp, brain literally melting, and still trying to get up and work out. the only way u can get him to chill the hell out is if u take a nap with him. ofc that means u always get sick too,, but hey- lil sacrifices right??
-he never lets you get the door. like, if there’s a knock n neither of u knows who it could be,, pls he’s on his feet so fast. waving u away n looking thru the keyhole w/ sm suspicion
-he has his spot on the couch, n u will not find him sitting anywhere else. like, that’s his spot. u better pray for anybody who mistakenly takes it
-bakugou doesn’t like dirt or grime, so he won’t allow you or himself, to sit on your bed with clothes that have been outside. like, even if you’re just sitting on top of the covers, he’s gonna throw a fit and demand you change your clothes first bc “No way in hell am I gonna let your dumbass dirty up my bed.”
-katsuki rlly likes when it storms outside. he’ll go sit in front of the window and watch the rain, sipping on a warm drink while he waits for more thunder.
-living with bakugou is incredibly frustrating, bc he’ll just show up with new skills all of the goddamn time. like you’ll be like, “hmm i’d love to remodel the bathroom someday”,, and the very next weekend bakugou is meticulously re-tiling the bathroom floor by hand, probably also painting the walls in a new color, maybe even installing a new sink just to spruce it up. n then he’ll just present the entirely new, upgraded room with such weird nonchalance that it pisses u off. pls and if you watch him while he does these little projects, with all the weird precision and skill he suddenly gains?? pls you’re sure he must be possessed by the ghost of a craftsman
- when he hangs out with the bakusquad, he’ll drag you along every time. he expects you to sit with him the entire time and act as a social buffer?? basically, someone’ll ask him a question, one he deems stupid and therefore not worth answering, and bakugou will just look at you expectantly. he’ll just stare at you blankly, hardly even blinking until you pick up the slack and answer for him. you call him out on this many times, but it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t change anything. he does this over and over and over again
-bakugou gets really unsettled when you guys fight. like, he can’t sleep and he’s snapping at everybody, and is somehow more aggressive than usual. he always wants to just make up already, but the pride in the way won’t allow it
-he’s a weird stickler about intended furniture functionality?? like, the table is for eating, and the couch is for watching tv, and then only way you’re gonna get him to mix the two is if you ask him rlly rlly nicely
-finally- i have no basis for this one, but ik it in my heart: bakugou has a very intense fight with your thermostat nearly every single day. he swears up and down that it never ‘behaves’ for him, but every time you check it, it’s working perfectly fine
--/--
ahahhaa sorry y’all for the super random spam today,, but here were are back to our regularly scheduled bakugou programming,,,, bc idk if it’s obvious ur honor, but i love him
#bnha bakugou#mha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x self insert#bakugou hcs#bakugou headcannons#bakugou fluff#bnha fic#mha fic#mha headcannons#bnha headcannons
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Kinktober #14: The Spirit of Competition: Eijirou Kirishima
You’re hunched over a window booth at Denny’s when Kirishima asks you to sit on his face.
Characters: Eijirou Kirishima / f!Reader
Warnings: smut (18+ please!), aged-up characters, face-sitting, oral sex (m&f receiving), sixty-nine, lil bit of Sunday morning fluff
Notes: Thank you, everyone, for accompanying me on yesterday’s feels trip. Today we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming-porn, porn, porn. Kirishima porn. Today’s prompt is “Sixty-Nine.” I can’t help but think that Pro Hero Kirishima would make the best boyfriend.
Kinktober Masterlist

You’re hunched over a window booth at Denny’s when Kirishima asks you to sit on his face.
It’s eleven-thirty p.m. on a Wednesday, but you’re wolfing down a plate of eggs and bacon like a Sunday brunch champion. That is, until you choke on them.
“Right now?”
He’s blushing hard, but when you pop that question out, dislodging chunks of egg white from your lungs, he laughs. It’s the kind of relationship you’ve always had. Neither of you are very good at the whole filter thing, so at some point, you just stopped trying.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he replies with playful sarcasm. “I want you to sit on my face right here, in the middle of a twenty-four hour…” He trails off, his voice hushing immediately as your exhausted-looking waitress approaches. She looks like she pulled the short straw on working the night shift, but she’s trying her best.
“Everything tasting good so far?”
You choke all over again, and Kirishima saves the moment by shooting the waitress his charming pro-hero smile. Sometimes you hate how good he is at this sort of thing, but at this point, you can only appreciate it.
“It’s all perfect,” he assures her, then gestures in your direction. “Could she get a water, please?”
You shoot him a narrow glare, all the while wondering if the poor server overheard any of your conversation on the way over. If she did, she’s doing a miraculous job of hiding it.
Fortunately, Kirishima’s ever-so-delicately worded request doesn’t come to fruition until a few weeks later, on an actual Sunday morning (sans brunch). You had been out late the night before at some kind of benefit with his agency- black tie, way too much champagne. Today, you’re determined to stay in bed as long as possible.
Midmorning sun pours across your sheets like hot butterscotch, warming your toes and kissing your shoulder blades. You’ve been awake for the better part of an hour- so has Kiri- but you’re both too comfortable holding one another to move.
Or, at least, you think you are. Until Kirishima starts kissing his way down the side of your neck and sending hot puffs of breath across your chest.
“Never gonna get tired a’ wakin’ up with you in my bed,” he growls against your skin, and you cast your eyes to the ceiling, grinning like the hungover idiot you are.
So it’s like that.
He starts slipping further down your body, trailing his lips to your collarbone. He’s starting to work his way down the length of your sternum. You have a flashback. The window booth at Denny’s. You, choking on fried egg. Kirishima, smooth as ever.
“Hang on,” you murmur, stopping him with a hand to the shoulder. He sits back on his haunches. You lick your lips and wonder if you’ve made a mistake.
“Wanna try it… the other way?” Your proposal is quiet but he catches every word. And now it’s his turn to grin at you.
“Babe,” he gasps. “You remembered.”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. Barely. But he’s already moving, kicking off the sheets and laying back against the pillows. He pats his chest, still grinning.
“Hop on.”
“Oh my god.” This time, you can’t resist the urge.
You sit up- ignoring the protest from your sleepy limbs- and swing your thigh over his shoulders with your back facing the headboard. Kirishima’s breath tickles the insides of your thighs and you shiver, losing your nerve.
“This feels…” you start to say, but then he slides his palms over your thighs and urges you slowly downward.
“Don’t worry, baby,” he croons, sleep-hoarse. His grin taints every syllable. “I gotcha.”
As he pulls your hips against his face, his shoulders press into the mattress and he holds you at the perfect spot. You’re not sure what to do with your hands, but you feel as safe and secure as you always do with him.
He’s good at that sort of thing- putting you at ease.
“Fuck,” he rumbles between your legs. “Y’smell so sweet down here. Can’t wait to-“ He cuts himself off, swiping the flat of his tongue along your slit. You gasp. You bite your lip. You try not to squirm too hard.
You realize that, with the sheets kicked from the mattress, his bare form is completely exposed to you. You gorge yourself, taking in his thick thighs and his firm abs, dusted with a that short, dark bristle of hair you spend way too much time thinking about. All leading to his cock, beginning to twitch and stiffen already from the taste of you.
Your attention is forced back to the movement between your legs by a particularly low spike, making your breath catch and your shoulders pitch forward. Your hands shoot out, bracing against Kirishima’s thighs as he continues to hold you fast.
He groans into your body and his cock stirs again, thickening fast while he swirls his tongue against your clit. He’d started out a little awkward- everything is backward, from this angle- but he’s finding his rhythm and starting to send little shakes of pleasure up your spine.
But you can’t stop thinking about his cock.
It’s right there. Completely hard now, flushed and curving perfectly against his belly, tempting you. Every time you lean in close you feel him shift and groan underneath you.
You give in.
Leaning in, you wrap your fingers around his shaft. He starts a little but doesn’t dare break his rhythm- lucky you- and you lower your head, sucking the tip of his cock into your mouth.
“Fuck,” he grunts against you. His hips buck into your mouth.
Okay. You’re really doing this.
You keep your hand wrapped firmly around the base of his shaft and start to suck, bobbing up and down on his cock like you’re on your knees for him. It’s hard to keep your concentration when he’s still working away between your thighs, but you’re providing the same challenge to him all the while.
What began as a game morphs into a competition as the two of you devour one another, racing to see who can drive the other to ecstasy first. Kirishima’s had a head start, but you don’t let that stop you. You swallow him as best you can, sucking and bobbing messily away. He’s starting to twitch and squirm underneath you and it echoes in the pit of your own stomach.
There are no words exchanged between you, both mouths too busy to break away. Kirishima cums first, grunting hard into your pussy as his stomach tightens and his hips rut hard. You keep your mouth on him, letting him shoot every spurt of cum down your throat. As soon as he’s finished, though, you have to pull away, because you’ve hit your peak, too.
“Kiri,” you whine, throwing your head back and rolling your hips into his face. He laps eagerly at your clit, amplifying the dull flutters of your orgasm into powerful shockwave. You grab his thighs and squeeze tightly as you cum, riding out the waves against his powerful jaw.
When it’s over, he gently eases you off him and you collapse together in a puddle of mutual ecstasy.
“That was… kind of unexpected,” he mumbles at the ceiling. You look over and he’s still smiling. Your Sunday morning sunshine.
“Couldn’t help it,” you giggle. “You were tempting me.”
“Well,” he chuckles, rolling onto his side and pulling you into his arms. “I’ll tempt you again. Any time you want.”
“How about you tempt me with a little coffee?”
You expect him to say something sassy, but to your surprise, he just kisses the top of your head.
“Sure thing, baby.”
#kirishima x reader#eijirou kirishima x reader#kirishima/reader#kirishima/you#kirishima#eijirou kirishima#my hero academia#mha fanfic#kinktober#jbbkinktober2020
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Listen y’all, I know it isn’t historically accurate and people do things and behave in ways that would have been completely unacceptable for the time period but damn it if I don’t care and I still love the 2005 Pride and Prejudice.
I just love how crowded and messy and loud and lived in it feels. I mean the hand thing and the walk through the misty field are great but there’s unrestrained laughing sisters and Charlotte putting Lizzie in her place. Men who are really awkward and a younger sister teasing her older brother. And don’t get me started on the aesthetics and music and that breathtaking veiled vestal virgin statue.
Don’t get me wrong, the BBC version is wonderful. I adore them both, just in different ways, but the 2005 version never fails to give me that walking on air with a huge smile feeling while thinking about idiots in love and happy endings.
I just had to get that out. Back to your regularly scheduled programing.
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Another Place
Nessian Week, Day 5: Alternate Universe (AU) Day
Yes, I took the prompt literally. ;)
Word count: 2914
Warnings: fuzzy science, fuzzy space mumbo jumbo, language
Skye Penderwick belongs to Jeanne Birdsall. All other characters belong to SJM.
@nessianweek
~~~~~~
“I’m heading out, Doctor.”
Dr. Nesta Archeron, who held a PhD in astrophysics, looked up from her desk. “All right, Skye, thanks for everything. See you tomorrow?”
“Absolutely. Don’t forget to sleep, Dr. Arch!”
“Never do, Dr. Pen!”
The other astrophysicist’s snort of laughter floated down the hall. “Yeah, right.”
Fine, maybe there were nights when Nesta stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, scribbling calculations on the chalkboards and in her notes, combing through theories of all the great scientists before her, adding bits and pieces to her own theory, and generally ruining her sleep schedule with badly timed, random “a-ha!” moments. But to be fair, seven years of developing a theory of alternate universes would do that to a person.
Seven years ago, she’d run across an anomaly on a deep-space image that didn’t match anything ever recorded or observed by any scientist, ever. And yet it was small enough that most scientists could easily overlook it; it blended into the edge of the nebula that was the focus of the image. Nesta had noticed it, though, and that small imperfection, the wrinkle in the darkness of space, rooted into her mind and stayed there, leading her to question what the hell that blur was and why the hell it was there.
Which in turn led her down the murky rabbit hole of various theories of wormholes and other flaws in space-time, none of which aligned with her observations. And then down the even murkier rabbit hole of theories (of varying degrees of coherence) of parallel and alternate universes. The alternate universe idea in particular intrigued Nesta, and she spent weeks researching every bit of information available, noting how it lined up with her observations, and finally coming to a realization that this image her team had captured could serve as visible, concrete evidence in favor of a theory of alternate universes.
She’d drafted the first bit of her theory and formed a small team to develop it by the next morning.
After five years, countless different images of the anomaly, multiple variations on complex equations, much screaming, and three lifetimes’ worth of coffee, Dr. Nesta Archeron hit a wall.
Literally and figuratively.
Because when she ran into what seemed like an insurmountable block, she punched the nearest wall as hard as possible.
The cracks still radiated across one wall of her lab.
That block, and her efforts to break through it, introduced her to Dr. Skye Penderwick, a brilliant American astrophysicist who, coincidentally, also happened to be fascinated by the theory of alternate universes, despite having no theory of her own. She’d been working at the same facility as Nesta for several months before the two actually met, and within days of Nesta inviting her into her lab, she’d proposed a potential solution to the Archeron team’s roadblock.
It worked.
Nesta offered her a collaborator position that very day. Skye accepted.
Two years later, they were on the edge of breakthrough. Both of them knew it. Both of them saw clearly where their calculations, their notes, their carefully chronicled, detailed observations of the motion of the anomaly, and their years of hard work were leading. The theory Nesta so elegantly posited was nearly complete. All the two self-described space nerds needed was something, anything, to hint beyond scientific explanation that on the other side of that anomaly laid an alternate Earth.
Unfortunately, that something hadn’t shown up quite yet.
For, despite all the remarkable achievements of space science--lightspeed travel, quantum leaping, imaging software capable of capturing formations’ minute details, even the discovery of other habitable planets in faraway galaxies--nobody had yet been able to present a coherent, plausible theory of an alternate universe.
Yet.
Sighing, Nesta pushed back from her desk and walked to the back of her laboratory. She placed her index finger in a barely visible indent in the pristine white wall. A panel slid silently open, revealing a space illuminated by a soft blue glow. A nondescript grey-and-cobalt pressure suit hung neatly in a glass case. Nudging the panel closed, Nesta opened the case and removed the pressure suit.
Hers.
For her…uncatalogued trips. Trips to the station her team had planted by the anomaly.
Trips which Nesta took regularly. She couldn’t risk any of her team traveling; each and every one of them was needed in the lab. No, it was her job and hers alone to make a regular leap to the station, check on their telescopes, and observe the anomaly up close.
She’d never tried to cross it. Not that she believed there was no passage; in fact, she’d painstakingly detailed the fascinatingly inexplicable illusion of a gap that appeared once every year, and had always failed to conclude if there truly was a gap.
Hence tonight’s little jaunt to the station. That gap had just appeared, and since it only showed for sixty hours, she had to go now.
So Dr. Nesta Archeron slid into her pressure suit, fastened the sleek boots and gloves, programmed the correct coordinates into the screen built into the underside of the suit’s left forearm, locked on her helmet, and keyed in the quantum leap sequence.
A blink later, she stood on the steel tiles of her team’s small, simple station deep in the reaches of outer space. Removing her helmet, Nesta allowed herself exactly three minutes to drink in the wonders of deep space.
Then she set the station’s timers for forty-eight hours, sat at the control panel, and piloted her space station/highly advanced spaceship into the gap in the universe.
For it was indeed a gap.
~
Commander Cassian Ilnair released the cockpit hatch of his sleek “interstellar exploration transport,” or, as he called her, the Millenium Falcon. Bloody government and their bloody idiotic pompous names for spaceships. That’s all it was, a spaceship, albeit a highly advanced, highly adaptable one that had carried him and up to four crew safely across nearly every corner of the universe and back to Earth.
Pulling his flight helmet off, he shook out his unruly shoulder-length hair, half- unzipped his navy blue pressure suit, and started postflight checks.
“She’ll need to be refueled and the usual before she travels again, but other than that, good as new,” he reported to his CO, a woman five feet tall if she was an inch whose impeccable, formidable exploration resumé and take-no-bullshit demeanor made up for her diminutive height.
“Excellent, Commander. I expect a full report on Disturbance AS-2947C by noon.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Cassian saluted.
“Dismissed.”
As he headed for the shower, Cass stole a glance at his wrist screen, which showed eight-fifteen a.m. Damn space time, he grumbled to himself, throws off my goddamn body clock. Luckily, he’d noted no significant change in that particular disturbance since the last time he visited it two weeks ago. That’d make his report much easier, indeed.
Sure, the disturbance was rippling ever so slightly, but it did that every year at this time and had been doing so since it appeared exactly seven years ago.
Not a single scientist in all the ranks of the space force could provide a plausible explanation, or even a cohesive theory.
Disturbance AS-2947C was just that, a disturbance. A puzzling, inexplicable snag in the fabric of space time that had just appeared one day and sat around for seven years, following a routine path of motion but not really moving anywhere, just pulsing, and showing a ripple for exactly sixty hours exactly once per year.
Cassian knew his brilliant astrophysicist friend Dr. Emerie Nguyen was developing a theory that AS-2947C was a wormhole, but so far she hadn’t found any evidence to support there being another side to it. So far, all Emerie could say was that this disturbance could very well be the concrete evidence of stable wormholes she and every other member of the space sciences sector had been chasing for years. And yet they were still chasing it.
He quickly showered and changed into his everyday uniform, slipped his wristband back on, and drew up a quick set of notes for the commodore. At exactly two minutes before noon, he knocked on her office door.
“Enter.”
Cassian stepped into the office, closed the door, and saluted. “Ma’am.”
“At ease, Commander. I believe you’re early today.”
“Some days I try to be punctual, Commodore.”
“I see.” She motioned to the west wall. “Report, Commander.”
Tapping three fingers twice against the wall, Cassian swiped an image from his tablet onto the wall, which doubled as a presentation screen.
“Today’s imaging of Disturbance AS-2947C shows no remarkable differences from the last set. The formation has not morphed or shifted noticeably in any direction.” He swiped to a new image. “The annual irregularity in the approximate center of the disturbance appeared on schedule roughly three hours before we arrived, making it now roughly seven hours visible.”
“Any notable observations about the irregularity?”
“No, Commodore. The irregularity is behaving exactly like it has for the six years we’ve observed it. It merely appears as what looks to be the illusion of a gap, holds steady for sixty hours, and disappears. We have never been able to decipher if the irregularity is in fact a gap or if it is simply a change in the observed color.”
“Have you never attempted to pilot your craft towards this irregularity?”
Cassian swallowed. “With all due respect, Commodore, yes. I believe you are familiar with the deep-space engine failure incident of last year?”
“I am.”
“That was my attempt to discover more about the irregularity.”
“Ah.” The commodore tilted her head, her eyes calculating. “Though I never did hear the pilot’s explanation of this failure.”
“First, may I ask what the engineers’ conclusion was?”
“The engineers concluded that the engine failure, which somehow you managed to prevent from becoming catastrophic, was the result of a power failure caused by the change in the conditions of space within the disturbance. They informed me that the engine short-circuited when your craft entered the boundary of the disturbance, but they could not explain or even theorize why.”
Cassian nodded. “I can theorize why. Commodore, I believe the power failed because, simply put, the way we fuel our crafts does not exist within the disturbance.”
“Are you implying that neither solar nor stellar energy exists within AS-2947C?”
“Yes, ma’am, I am. The instant I entered that region, my engines went completely silent. I had no time to observe anything else, as my immediate reaction was to reverse course and exit, lest I risk total craft failure and being stranded in the deepest parts of space. My craft regained power once outside the disturbance region, and I made it back, despite one of my engines being nonfunctional. As I’ve thought about it over the months, I can only come to the conclusion that the power cut off because there was no available power source.”
Commodore Amren considered Cass’s explanation. “It is logical, and it would explain why the engineers could not determine the cause of the failure. Power source failure, when rectified immediately, leaves behind no visible evidence within the engines of our craft.”
“Commodore, I still want to enter the disturbance. I believe that a craft carrying physical fuel could safely enter the region.”
“Physical fuel became obsolete decades ago, Commander.”
“And yet we still have stores. This is why. We knew there was a chance some mission might need to use fuel rather than energy to power its craft. This is that mission.”
“Commander, I’m afraid I cannot give you clearance to enter the disturbance. Not at the moment, at least. You know the regulations.”
Cassian sighed. “Right, right, seven days between active pilot duty.”
“There is one thing I can do, if you wish.”
“Tell me?”
“You may take a small stationary craft to the observation point. Stations do not qualify as actively piloted craft. I can assign you a seventy-two-hour observation mission, which will allow you to be as close to Disturbance AS-2947C as possible without endangering yourself or your craft, and also will allow you to report any noteworthy changes. Acceptable?”
“Accepted, ma’am. Thank you.”
The commodore nodded once. “I’ll get the assignment written up now. Prepare for launch at 1600 hours.”
Cassian snapped a salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Dismissed.”
Four hours later, Cassian’s small observation stationcraft left Earth’s atmosphere, set its destination coordinates, and blinked away into a quantum leap, arriving at the observation point in mere seconds.
Arrived at destination, the cool, mechanical autopilot voice announced. Artificial gravity effective in sixty seconds.
Cassian sat back, checking his harness. All secure.
Artificial gravity in effect.
Unbuckling, he stood up, pulled off his helmet, and walked to the windows, staring into the fascinating mystery of Disturbance AS-2947C. The irregularity rippled, gently, like he’d seen it do before, taunting him with the possibility of something on the other side. He stood there barely thinking, just marveling at the sight of this enigmatic corner of deep space.
And then the irregularity expanded. And a craft like nothing he’d ever seen flew out.
~
Nesta hadn’t known whether she was sane when she flew into the gap. Hell, she hadn’t known if she was thinking, let alone doing. If wormhole theory meant anything, then she’d expected a moment of terrifying flight through stark blackness that ended in her ship landing in some other, possibly uncharted, part of the universe.
She hadn’t been expecting to see an alien station.
But there it was.
The gap was a tunnel of sorts. And at the other end was a station Nesta didn’t recognize.
She directed her ship around the foreign station, intending to capture images for examination in her lab. But before she could key in the command to the ship’s cameras, her radio cracked with static. And then someone spoke.
“Who the hell are you?”
Nesta stared at the receiver, then dragged her gaze to the station. Standing in what looked like an observation deck was a man wearing a pressure suit and boots, holding a comm device to his mouth.
“I repeat, who the hell are you?”
“You tell me first. And while you’re at it, what the hell is that station you’re in?”
“It’s a standard observation craft, of course. Unlike whatever alien craft you’re flying.”
“This is a typical exploration ship, you coarse, callous idiot.”
“Like fuck it is.”
“What’s the matter, never seen a woman fly a real ship before?”
“Never seen that particular ship before in my entire life as a pilot. Or in any of my texts.”
“You’re telling me this very real ship I’m flying doesn’t exist?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Then--” Nesta’s eyes widened in shock. “Pilot, may I have your name and credentials?”
“Commander Cassian Ilnair, Earth’s space force.”
“Earth’s space force,” Nesta muttered to herself, scanning through her mind for anything related to that name. Nothing. And then it hit her.
“Commander Ilnair, who leads your nation?”
“My nation?” He seemed confused by the word. “Nations melded into a global government centuries ago. President Amarantha currently heads the Global Council.”
A look of wonder crossed Nesta’s face. “It’s true…it’s true. I can’t believe it.”
“Believe what?”
“Commander, my name is Dr. Nesta Archeron. I’m from an alternate Earth.”
The man standing in the unfamiliar station dropped his comm device. And stared.
“Permission to attempt to dock at your station? We have some items to discuss.”
He sat down on the deck floor and picked up his radio. “Granted, if you can.”
Nesta flew a slow lap around the station, noticing two docking ports, both with airlocks that seemed oddly familiar. Hmm, she thought, airlock design is clearly universal. Aiming for the port closer to the observation deck, she carefully guided her ship into the space and sighed in relief when the hatch clicked into place with the station’s airlock.
“Connect the airlock to my ship, if you would?”
“What’s the magic word, Dr. Archeron?” Nesta swore she could hear his damn smirk.
“Please connect your airlock to my ship so I can explain myself.”
“Of course.”
Less than two minutes later, Nesta heard the familiar hiss of an airlock sealing into place around her ship’s hatch.
“Clear for exit, Dr. Archeron.”
“Thank you, Commander.”
Nesta placed her tablet and several images into her pack, slung it over her shoulder, released her exit hatch, and swiftly ascended the ladder into the station. The moment her head cleared, she was looking around, mentally cataloguing every detail of the spacecraft. It was basic, functional, only containing living quarters and an observation lab.
“Whenever you’re done gaping, Doctor, we can talk.”
Nesta turned to face the commander, who was leaning against a wall just outside the airlock. “There is a difference between observing and gaping, pilot, not that you would know.”
A cocky grin crept across his face. “Naturally, I’m just one of the best pilots in the universe, I wouldn’t know.”
“Your universe,” she corrected.
“What?”
“Your universe, Commander Ilnair. Or has your tiny brain already forgotten what I said about being from an alternate universe?”
He shook his head. “Right. Sorry, I’m still trying to process that.”
“As am I. Show me to the lab?”
“Not much to show, but follow me.” He led her down a short hallway onto the observation deck and laboratory, clearly the main space of the station. “Here we are. I believe you mentioned something about explaining yourself?”
“I did.”
He gestured toward her. “Go ahead.”
So she did.
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I JUST FINISHED WATCHING CARMEN SANDIEGO AND I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS SO I HAVE TO SHARE
@sandiegocarmen this is all your fault /nm /lh
(written probably not in order bc i have a really bad memory,, and also: i curse a lot so be warned)
- first of all jules/devineaux friendship !!!!!! they're so cute he was so excited to be working with her again :*)
- GRAHAM GOING TO THE CHIEF ?? AND HELPING CARMEN !!!!
- i love him he just wants the best for carmen. i wish we could've seen more of their friendship and how they care for each other throughout the show
- SPEAKING OF
- THIS WAS THE SERIES FINALE. THIS WAS THE SERIES FINALE
- okokok back to that later because what the fuck
- jules looked so hurt that her girlfriend didn't recognize her im so sorry babe </3
- also carmen kicking devineaux's ass (again),, damn her fighting is ruthless when she's like this
- also there were so many julethief moments here. ALL THE LITTLE COMMENTS FROM JULES ABOUT "THE CRIMSON GHOST" SHE'S SO PROUD AND IN LOVE <333
- (and yet with all the julethief they didn't do ANYthing with it at the end,,,, but ill talk about that later)
- i was so scared for gray, carmen just fucking SUPER TASED HIM
- but he's so smart for that ?? he changed the settings ? genius. brilliant. talented. he thinks ahead
- and more dad shadowsan moments ?? adorable . i love his relationship with carmen,, a found family of criminals if you will
- now i feel like i should talk about the ending
- OKAY I WAS TRICKED
- FUCKING MISDIRECTED
- vile was taken down, gray was good, el topo and le chevre we're living a domestic life as husbands, carmen got her memory back, shadowsan was also alright, they found carmen's mother
- wait just a lil break to talk about HOW CUTE EL TOPO AND LE CHEVRE WERE . THE FOOD TRUCK . THE WINK EL TOPO GAVE . THEYRE IN LOVEEEEE IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM
- okay back to our regularly scheduled programming
- i was confused bc wth this is a great ending i expected pain
- AND THEN
- WHAT ??!?!!?!!
- HORRIBLE ENDING
- carmen left zack and ivy, her and shadowsan also split up, she never got to see jules, and gray also didn't wanna see her?
- WHAT THE FUCK
- WHY ARE WE JUST ABANDONING FRIENDSHIPS LEFT AND RIGHT
- I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO SEE YOUR MOM BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO DITCH YOUR FOUND FAMILY
- WHAT WAS THE REASONNNNN
- okay. calm :) . whoever wrote this i just wanna have a few words. maybe an explanation of the thought process that went into this
- i have to admit i did like seeing acme! zack and ivy and now i want to see their friendship with jules + devineaux BUT
- while i loved seeing zack's slicked back hair i would have preferred team red
- it's just such a nonsensical ending to have?
- like parts of it i get (carmen going to see her mom, vile being locked up, etc) but it didn't make sense for carmen to completely abandon all contact with her closest friends ????
- maybe i misinterpreted the scene and she didn't leave them forever (though the note made it sound pretty permanent) and they could've been friends this whole time still but,,,, why
- why do that why would carmen ever have to leave behind all the people she loves just to find her mom (they could literally come with her)
- and we know that carmen is very loyal. that's like a big part of who she is. so WHY
- none of this makes any sense my brain hurts
now to pick the weeds out of the field of canon,,, aka what i would keep the same in the canon in my head and what i would toss out (because this ending. did not happen. :) )
beautiful flowers that i will let stay in the field:
- el topo and le chevre domestic husbands <33
- gray being smart and surviving
- carmen going to find her mother
- shadowsan going to his brother
- i could accept zack and ivy being acme agents but only under certain circumstances which i will talk about in the next part
- im pretty sure that's it. everything else either sucked or i cant remember
now the weeds im picking out (what im changing):
- gray not wanting to see carmen. it does kinda seem like something gray would do (not wanting to complicate her life) BUT I WANTED TO SEE CARMEN BUSTING IN THERE like "no ?? you just saved me and i want to make sure you're okay you're not just gonna disappear from my life idiot"
- carmen saying goodbye to ivy and zack. (still not clear if that was a forever goodbye or ???) either way why split up team red :(
- and it also wasn't clear if shadowsan just completely abandoned team red as well,,, but if he did then no he didn't. i say he lives by his brother but still stays in contact with team red
- now about zack and ivy being a part of acme,,, i can accept this if the situation is carmen wanted to retire and they were bored + wanted a job fighting crime so they joined acme (and became best friends with devineaux and jules bc they have to approve of carmen's girlfriend)
- speaking of,,,,, whatever happened with jules and carmen (did they not see each other either, ??) they're actually girlfriends now and carmen commonly hangs around acme to help them with big cases and to spend time with her girlfriend (+ zack, ivy, and devineaux)
- also carmen and player's friendship,,, i just wanted to see them meet in person and hug each other but im glad they stayed in touch
and i could talk about how there should be another season or (because i get that they might not have enough plot for that) an animated movie to wrap it up a little better, and the fact that they're doing a live action movie which im,, not very excited for but ive worn myself out a little soooo final thought:
- WHAT IS HER GIVEN NAMEEE
#jxnciuewh im sorry this post is a mess i wrote it scatterbrained right after i finished the episode and i was going through some /emotions/#edit: this has been sitting in my drafts for ... forever jhcbureybv but here have it now#cs
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