#<- doesn't know how to be a fan of actual human beings

[kiame-sama]

It's been as hot as hell these past few days in America. My AC units are having to go on seperate plugs just because they're getting overworked and overheated. I've heard that some people's AC is shutting off entirely.

How do the boys react to an overheated Darling or kiddies? I feel like Jamil would love the humidity and all, but someone like Ace or Deuce would be unable to function in this weather.

Also, for those who have pets, keep an eye on them during this weather! Don't leave them alone outside without supervision! There's been reports of animals being left out and dying! Take care of yourself and your animals, please and thank you!

Warnings; yandere behavior, Human= Reader, gender neutral reader, multiple yandere monsters, Monster TWST AU,

Rollo is panicking and unsure how to help. He can only heat things up, not cool them down. He will try to find a shaded area for you and will be willing to fan you, but he lets out constant heat, so he may overwhelm and warm you on accident.

Jamil LOVES the heat. He enjoys laying in the sun and warming his scales under the light. Dry heat or wet heat, he doesn't care, it feels nice to him either way. if he notices you are uncomfortable or heating up too much, he can actually lay his coils on top of you or wrap you in them. Because he is Naga, his body is naturally colder than most other species, so being under his scales while he moves them every few minutes would actually mean he constantly has a cold spot to help cool you down while you in turn warm him up. He can even find something to fan you with using his tail.

The Dragon can easily shield you with his wings as well as use his magic to create a breeze for you to keep you cool on the unbearably hot days. Malleus is unbothered by the heat most of the time and is happy to do what he needs to so you are comfortable, but if he genuinely thinks you are overheating or in extreme discomfort from the heat, he will begin to get upset. Malleus' sorrow beings about a blizzard, so you may long for the heat once he actually gets in his emotions. For the most part, Malleus is good at keeping you cool before it gets to that point.

Idia is technically considered to be as cold as the grave despite his flame hair. As a creature from Tartarus- the Land of the Dead- Idia is cold enough to chill others to the bone. He isn't often one to soak up the sunlight, more a creature of shadows and darkness. If you are too warm and hug onto the Shinigami, you may actually start to shiver because of how cold Idia can be to the touch. Lay on top of him wrapped in a blanket and he will keep you at a nice chilly temp. You may even long for your heated blanket if you snuggle Idia long enough. He is quite cold and that chill can be felt by touching him.

Kida is an Air Nymph and can easily create a breeze to cool you down. Due to his natural affinity for air, if you mention to him that you are feeling too warm, he will happily make a chilly breeze that cools you down in the heat of the day. Let him know if the wind is too cold and he will adjust as needed.

Neige is eager to try and keep you comfortable, going as far as fanning you with his wings to help you cool off. Neige will happily do whatever he can to make sure you are comfortable and cool on event he hottest of days. Do you need a cold drink? He can get that for you! Do you need shade? Well, he can happily use his wings to shield you. Just communicate with him and he will do what he can to keep you comfortable and at peace.

If it is getting too warm for you to stay comfortable, go swimming with him. He can hold you right along the waterline on his back, letting you longue across his equine figure as he swims lazy circles through the water. If you really want, he can cast a spell so you can safely submerge completely under the water and chill out in the lake with him. He will ensure you are comfortable and safe regardless while you spend time in the lake with him.

Sounds like you could use some time beneath the waves with him. Azul promises that you will be comfortable and safe while you are by his side. He will give you a potion that allows you to breathe under the water and he will happily swim with you while the two of you escape the heat of the day. Just let him know and he will move his schedule around to accommodate your needs.

[justnamedjosie]

i'm honestly so relieved to see so many people actively defending ragatha due to the latest episode.

after watching ep 5 i immediately had the feeling people were going to hop on the ragatha hate train, she's a well written female character who has normal human flaws just like the rest of the members of the circus, she slips up and says something insensitive to jax about whatever incident that caused jax to lose his friend (which by the end of the episode she owns up too and apologizes for by the way), yet people saw this and instead of being like "wow this character made a mistake and apologized for said mistake because nobody is perfect and everyone slips up and says something mean every now then, wow she's such a real and complex character!". we got "she's the devil incarnate".

like please get me to understand why you guys HATE this girl, these fans are literally repeating the same behavior that they showed towards pomni and gangle. it's a very uncomfortable pattern i'm seeing in this fandom of female characters being ripped to shreds for simply having flaws, like any well written character would have. and then seeing the male characters (mainly jax obviously, though i have seen the same behavior with caine a bit) be excused of literally any fault of their actions because of whatever reason they can pull out their asses at any given moment.

like no, jax shouldn't be justified or in any way excused for his behavior towards the other members just because he has issues. if that's the way these fans think then i'm honestly surprised they don't give ragatha the same treatment. like i'm not saying that any of the characters shouldn't be held accountable for their mistakes just because they have problems, hell no. i'm saying after learning that ragatha grew up with an absolutely awful mother, which would definitely explain her people pleasing behavior towards everyone, that those fans would be a lot more empathetic towards her, but i guess not.

i truly don't understand. like i love jax as much as the next person, but i can acknowledge that he's not a good person and his treatment of the others is wrong, no matter what he's internally dealing with. his issues that are slowly being revealed to us EXPLAINS his behavior, but absolutely doesn't excuse it. so it truly boggles my mind that ragatha can make these mistakes (which are so much smaller than what jax has done to others) and she's immediately deemed horrible and unforgivable. make it make sense.

at best it's simple favoritism over their favorite character that can do no wrong in their eyes (which in the process they completely mischaracterize them) and at worst it's blatant misogyny. i truly don't know what else could explain the influx of hate towards ragatha. it's okay if you don't like ragatha, not everyone will like the same character. it only gets frustrating (to me at least) when these people hate a character for something that isn't true in the slightest and that they completely made up.

the silver lining to come out of this is personally i've seen more ragatha defenders than these fans. i'm glad there are people who actually understand her character and can appreciate how well written she is! ragatha has made her way into being one of my favs on the show, and i can't wait to see where her character will go from here.

(also this isn't supposed to be a jax hate post or anything, like i said i love jax. i just really dislike how the fans have been treating him and by proxy ragatha as well.)

[aliensupastar]

for a show that has a motto of "every second counts", it sure does love to waste my fucking time

why has it taken two whole seasons for carmy and richie to make up? why was carmy not wanting to do restaurants anymore an idea introduced at the beginning of THIS season instead of built up seasons one, two, and three? sure, back in season one there's a mention of his motivations being tied up in wanting to fix his family, but then we see him gain hope for the restaurant at the end of the episode, and then be inspired in season two and determined to challenge himself and his staff in season three (for better or for worse). it just feels like he's doing the same thing again, running from good things in his life, removing himself under the notion that he'll get in the way of good things happening. that's the same thing donna did, removed herself from the bear because she was afraid she'd get in the way of a good thing! and it's not inherently a bad thing for your main character to run into the same issue over and over again, it's called having a fatal flaw! but that doesn't mean your main character can stagnate in the way that carmy does. in season one, carmy progresses, he learns that he hasn't been abandoned by his family and mikey and that he's not a hopeless cause. in season two, he backslides, avoids responsibility and uses claire as an escape and it ultimately leads to him failing his family, and it's devastating to watch. season three should've spent time with him apologising and then reintegrating himself into the function of the restaurant. have him slide back into the mentor role again (for sydney, tina, and marcus), learn how to collaborate with richie so that the front of house and back of house communicate with each other properly, start learning to be there for natalie like she tells him she wants him to in season fucking one. he calls her to apologise for not coming to see the baby and she still ends up comforting him, and SHE still has to bring the baby to HIM.

and carmy is my favourite, so he's the only person i'm talking about here, but the other main characters also have disappointing arcs. i like richie learning how to deal with frank being in his family; it could've happened in one season instead of two. i like sydney's dilemma between shapiro and the bear a lot, it feels like she's the only character that's been really progressing. i like natalie's baby storyline, i think "ice chips" is the best episode of season three... i think francie fak could've stayed a gag instead of having her appear onscreen for the first time and then have her issue with natalie be resolved in one day, with no actual details of what betrayal took place. there is quite literally nothing for nat to do in season four, and sure she can't be at the restaurant considering she's just had a baby, but y'know, mothers are human beings with a lot of interesting things going on, too, and i don't think having a child means nat should be demoted from main character to recurring character (though i get that it's probably tied up in the fact that abby elliott had a baby in real life and couldn't be on set as much).

but, instead of giving its characters or the pace of the show any sort of momentum, the writers devote way, way too much runtime to the fucking Faks. do any of us give a shit about ted fak telling his new girlfriend kelly that he loves her? i'm serious. this show used to be a genuine dramedy, now it's a melodrama that cuts to its family of comedic relief characters fucking around a few times per episode.

i've been a fan of the bear since it premiered, it is without a doubt, my favourite show of all time; there's no other show out there that means this much to me. and i know tons of people hated season three, but i thought its worst crime was being imperfect when the first two seasons were perfect, and i figured if the showrunners/writers could learn from the criticism of season three, then season four could really turn things around and it would come back better than ever.

i realise now that seasons three and four being filmed at the same time was a bad sign. i think there's still hope for season five, it hasn't been filmed or even confirmed yet, and the show has a tendency to switch up its style, but i am beyond disappointed that we've had two dud seasons. this is still my favourite show ever, and i will be writing more carmy fanfiction ASAP, and continuing to hope that season five is better.

p.s.: i very much stand by all my opinions in this post, but i would love to hear other opinions and have discussions about season four/the show in general!

[averlym]

smth smth red queen ?

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[inexplicably-spookified]

diversity win! this witch is bi... lingual?

[amplexadversary]

Fucking great. Thanks to assholes making entirely baseless fucking accusations over a nearly 20 year-old video game with a bog-standard fantasy plot, we don't get fandom-themed theme weeks on FR anymore

I don't get to hope for a Critical Role or Gundam themed one because you people are morons at fucking best.

Utter idiocy is the charitable interpretation here.

[hussyknee]

@verycoolguy1917 the actual fuck are you talking about about. "The capitalists"— capitalism is a fucking system. I know Tankies think social justice is an MCU movie where you just gotta get rid of the Bad People, but also, that had nothing whatsoever to do with the post in the first place.

[kianamaiart]

IDWTBAMG CHARACTER FUN FACTS

Well, some fun facts and mostly lore or character relationship stuff. Under the cut!

AIKA

Aika became the next Star Guardian at age 13. She’s 15 now

Aika’s want to help people and relentless positivity were part of the reason she was chosen to be the Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars in the first place. While her love for the job has fizzled out, this aspect of her character still a core part of her.

She’s very kind and gentle person but that kinda goes out the window when magical duties are brought into the equation

Her and Hoshi care about one another but their relationship is currently a bit tense. They’re usually pretty quick to make jabs at one another

She struggled to get used to the platform shoes in her magical girl outfit

She LOVES food. And her eyes are usually way too big for her stomach leading to many a food coma

Aika and her teammates worked in secret for the most part, not really being allowed to “exist in the real world”. Because of this, with the free time she had, Aika would read a lot (she’s actually very book smart)

Aika loves extreme sports and is an adrenaline junky. However, rollercoasters freak her out for some reason

Aika drags Zira into lots of new eperiences. Zira usually ends up appreciating the experiences after the fact 

Aika’s a morning person

ZIRA

Zira is smart but doesn’t apply herself in school

They have a lot of artistic interests, particularly art, music and fashion

She likes the idea of writing fanfiction in theory but writing’s sooooo much work. Any ideas she has just kinda live in her head, causing her to zone out and daydream a ton

While shy for the most part, Zira can be very blunt and isn’t necessarily a pushover

Prior to Aika, she didn’t have a lot (any) friends at school but she’s mostly content doing her own thing

They’d hang out in Miss’ classroom a lot, either to show her Moon Sailor stuff against her will or just to have lunch

Zira loves playing video games and especially loves visual novels

Zira develops a crush on Aika pretty quickly. Aika’s kindness, authenticity and bravery is inspiring to Zira. Also Aika’s the only other person her age to really give her the time of day. And also she thinks Aika’s pretty

She thinks Hoshi’s really cool and since Aika doesn’t particularly enjoy talking about her job, Zira usually goes to Hoshi for magical girl questions. Initially Hoshi doesn’t trust Zira with that information but is really flattered to have someone who looks up to them and is interested in everything they have to say. So they indulge when appropriate.

Zira’s a night owl

HOSHI

Hoshi saved Aika when she was really young and has kept her safe ever since

Hoshi and Aika started off kind of like siblings but Hoshi then became her boss, making their relationship a bit strained and more complicated

Their role as a magical mascot managerial in nature. They make Aika and her team do their jobs, follow protocol, teach them how to use their powers, keep up morale, do timecards, etc.

While Hoshi oversees this team, their responsibility is primarily to the Star Guardian

Hoshi, much like Aika, used to be really chipper and a bit more goofy but Aika’s kinda worn them down overtime

Hoshi’s not a fan of Earth, but in an effort to better understand Aika’s feelings, tries out being a human and doing Earth activities

Hoshi takes a while to get used to their human form. They’re really clumsy in it

They have a hard time making hands for their human form. Their hands are slightly different every time but equally terrifying. They eventually get better at making them though.

Hoshi doesn't use their human form too much. Most people just assume their Aika's weird pet bird

Hoshi doesn't need to eat but discovers they enjoy the act of eating

ECLIPSE

Eclipse is one of the few humans that know that Aika and the other magical girls exist

He met Aika pretty early on in her magical girl career and he was immediately enamored with her

Since finding about magical girls, he’s obsessively tried keeping track of them, leading him to start acting out in order to get their attention. They only really care because he knows their secret and they play along

He and Devoid made his current outfit together. DeVoid wanted to make it black but Eclipse was set on making it very bright and showy

Eclipse currently resides with DeVoid. He gets on her nerves sometimes but they both do care about each other

Eclipse is a pretty good cook 

Eclipse isn’t particularly hateful but he’s really got beef with Zira for some reason

It’s hard to tell if Eclipse is really in love with Aika or if he just loves the concept of their nonexistent relationship

Eclipse has a lovely singing voice

His real name is Elio

LADY DeVOID

DeVoid was banished to space by a Star Guardian. For a LONG time she lived (unconsciously) as a sort of celestial being that would spit out monsters that the Star Guardians for many generations would have to face. While not ideal it was better than fighting DeVoid before she got to full power.

DeVoid finally wakes up in the present timeline, with no memories other than being banished by a Star Guardian and wanting revenge and knowing that she’s supposed to be able to create monsters. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t remember how to use her powers. She doesn’t even remember her name, so she came up with “Lady DeVoid”

DeVoid loves human reality TV. Specifically competition shows. She loves how petty and evil people become. This is also where most of her knowledge of humans comes from

Though DeVoid is pretty stoic, her ears are very expressive

DeVoid taught Eclipse how to do his makeup

She really likes Eclipse’s cooking

When she’s out and about she’s usually wearing sunglasses because it’s simply too bright for her

DeVoid does have to work a normal job in the human world and simply goes by “Dee”

After being in the cold, dark reaches of space and since coming to Earth, DeVoid has grown to love soft things

People rarely question her appearance (because that’s just rude). But when people do ask what’s up with her horns she just says “it’s a condition” and that’s usually enough for people to just end the convo there.

MISS

Miss loves her job more than anything. She’s a very accomplished teacher and takes a lot of time to make sure all of her students succeed

Miss cares about Zira a lot. Always staying in her classroom just in case Zira wants to stop by for lunch, giving her advice or giving her extra tutoring as needed 

Because of Zira, Miss has become a closet Moon Sailor fan

Though Aika’s just started attending school, she and Miss have bonded quite a bit. Aika’s positive disposition and cheeriness bring Miss a lot of joy

Miss keeps her personal life (not that she really has one) out of work but finds herself opening up a little more than she’d like to Aika and Zira

Miss used to get really antsy during summer breaks, leading her to start teaching summer school to fill the time

Her workaholic nature was the reason for her and her ex-wife’s divorce

Miss has gone on one date since her divorce. The idea of having starting over is exhausting to her so she’s mostly okay just being single

Miss doesn’t really like coffee but she drinks a lot of it out of necessity

Miss has a ton of tattoos

[apatheticsunday]

Dead Serious Oblivious Dating Trope

AKA "Damian thinks flirting/dating entails a lot more violence than the average person and Danny's confused as to why this vigilante keeps prepositioning him for battles" idea!

Okay, so, I know Damian went to live with Bruce when he was still a kid, 10 or something, but what if he joined the Batfam when he was older? Like imagine he's had an entire childhood and adolescence in the League of Assassins, so he's raised in this culture of being The Best (i.e., strongest fighter, intelligent and knowledgeable, etc.). And maybe the LoA typically follows the tradition of arranged marriages, but you may court someone if they're seen as an equal. Talia with Bruce, for example. And!! It's not courting like the "sweet serenading, fan-fluttering, going for a walk in a park with a chaperone" Bridgerton-type courting.

In the League of Assassins, you court by battling your intended's guardian to the death.

So, fast-forward to Damian learning how to assimilate into Gotham city culture. He still struggles to learn his place in the Batfam, but he's older and has a better grasp on his emotions; no trying to kill Tim, no constant threats of death and dismemberment, no jealously protecting the title of Heir. He's... kind of like Bruce actually. Damian is scarily competent, logical, and level-headed but super intense.

Danny, who's been living in Gotham for awhile and has gotten to know the Batfam fairly well, meets the newest addition while on patrol. Let's say he's still Phantom but cosplays as a Meta. Bruce let him stay in Gotham because he's a sucker for a black-haired, blue-eyed, abused kids.

Their introduction goes about as well as the Batfam expects. Damian is all business, only offering a quick nod and his name before returning his focus to patrol. Danny's maybe a bit taken aback but doesn't take it too personally since he'd already been given the rundown by Tim.

Damian and Danny end up patrolling together while Batman and Cass investigate some lead by the docks or something. Their night turns pretty badly when Clayface attacks. Damian ends up being the damsel in distress since he's only ever faced human enemies; even the deadliest opponents in the League could still be killed using swords or the usual combat weapons. Danny ends up using his powers to defeat Clayface before Batman can come back.

And then Danny goes home, content that he was able to let loose a little without Batman there to supervise him, and doesn't think about it after. Damian, however, is downright enamored because Danny was terrifying while fighting. His movements were lupine like a panther, a comfortability in his posture that spoke of decades in combat; his eyes turned Lazarus Pit green, chilling in its intensity. His skin took on a ghostly pallor and Damian could've sworn his teeth sharpened. He looked like a deity of War.

(Danny doesn't know this, of course; he was just happy to enjoy a really good fight since he hasn't unleased his Full Ghost powers in a long minute.)

A couple weeks pass and Danny's invited to a Wayne family dinner. Except when he shows up, Damian - who he thought he'd kind of bonded with since he'd literally saved the guy from Clayface - tries to kill him. Straight up: full assassin regalia, recently polished sword, genuinely throwing his all into the battle.

The Batfam try to intervene but Damian easily (and painfully, as Jason was flipped face-first into a table, Steph was stabbed, Dick broke his elbow) fought off. In the end, it was Danny who froze Damian and yelped a frazzled, "What the fuck, dude?" Bruce agreed to dethaw his son if he never, ever drew his sword at the dinner table again and explained why in the world he randomly attacked Danny unprompted.

Except Damian's response is to apologize and formally proposition Danny to a "battle to rights"... and the Batfam are all like, wtf?? What is that?? They're thinking maybe the rights to the Wayne inheritance, but Danny was never adopted by Bruce (he'd had enough of millionaires trying to adopt him so he'd politely declined all the Batfam's attempts to rope him into the family; Dick, Babs, and Jason of all people included).

The thing is that Danny's parents disowned him, he doesn't consider Vlad to be his guardian, and Jazz isn't really in the picture here. Bruce isn't considered his adopted father figure, either. So, Damian concluded the next reasonable course of action was to fight Danny for his right to marry him.

Cue months of hilarious misunderstandings where the Batfam try to keep Damian separated from Danny since he keeps trying to fight him... and worse, is that Damian loses every damn fight. Danny has non-human powers and endless knowledge of dead languages, cultures, space, history, etc. Damian likes him so, so much but he can't win the battle to rights and it's driving him insane!! He calls his mother to vent his frustrations and she only encourages him, tells him that he shouldn't want to marry someone he can beat so easily, that he picked his intended well.

It gets to the point where Damian's trying to use any and all knowledge of Danny's weaknesses. It just makes him more obsessed because there doesn't seem to be any (there are, but they aren't on Earth and/or are locked down in the Fenton Works labs, untraceable to anyone not in the GIW).

And Danny's just like, what the hell!! Why the hell is this guy targeting him over and over again? The worst part is that Damian is actually very intelligent and thoughtful - during their duels, they quip back and forth in ancient languages, discuss thought-proving topics, and when Danny beats him, they have a quiet moment to compliment each other's fighting styles. They discuss ancient history and art together. Damian is one of the few people who can actually match Danny's odd tidbits of random knowledge, as he'd been extensively educated while in the LoA.

Finally, Danny just asks, "Why do you keep trying to fight me?? Do you just hate me or something??" (He hopes not. Danny's starting to like Damian a bit too much, especially after their fights when Damian offers to cook him some of Alfred's most popular recipes. Danny's a terrible cook so he actually looks forward to having a surprisingly good meal, sans the attempted poisoning at times.)

And Damian just... stops. He's utterly flabbergasted and perhaps a little bit exasperated since it's been months of being unable to win the battle to rights. "Why would I request to court you if I hate you, habibi?"

Danny's like, "Huh???"

Damian explains how courting works in the LoA and why it's been on-sight ever since the Clayface fight. And everything just clicks for Danny!! He's also kind of... flattered? Like, he's never been wanted so badly that someone would fight to the death for him (Danny's just like "he's confused but he's got the spirit!" about the whole "if Danny doesn't have a guardian, I'll just fight him instead" logic).

So, he's like, "Of course, I'll date you!!"

It'd probably be an adjustment period since Damian's idea of a romantic date is watching his boyfriend go Full Ghost on supervillains. He'd just be heart-eyeing at him the entire time. And it's not like Danny's not having a good time!! He just expected there'd be more date-night activities and less patrol-night activities. So, Danny introduces Damian to more "regular" hobbies, like going to the zoo, movie nights, bookshop dates, etc.

(another side idea in my head is Damian introducing Danny to Talia and Ra's al Ghul, like, "This is Danny Fenton, my intended." But Danny is decked out in his Ghost King attire, crown included, and introduces himself as King of Infinite Realms, Space, and the Dead. Meanwhile his boyfriend is just looking at him with this look of utter besotted lovesick pride. There's so much potential!!)

[sunderwight]

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

[kdh-tally]

i have such bad brainworms over zoey and mystery and i’m living in rarepair HELL because there’s barely any content about them ( ; ω ; )

anyways can you write any headcanons you have about them specifically? i saw this tweet earlier this morning that said that if the saja boys came back to life (somehow), that mystery would shyly ask the other boys if zoey meant it when she said he was her type and the BRAINWORMS ARE WORMING ( : ౦ ‸ ౦ : )

Prompt : Zoeystery Headcannons <3

Authors Note :  I don’t think Mystery is shy, just quiet. Bro was barking at a random fan… he must be a bit crazy. I do adore this ship however and have so many ideas for them but I have so many ideas for everyone else too 😭 Hope you enjoyed :D

Context 

I do think that once the Saja Boys reunite with Jinu they have like a 24 hour long conversation about how life will work for them in the human world (since they can’t go back)

Confessions will be made

Romance and Abby admitting that maybe their flirting with Mira isn’t just flirting and they actually kinda like her.

Jinu confessing that he is very much in love with Rumi

The boys all look at him with straight faces.

“We’ve known”

Baby is just there, drinking some hot sauce drink made specifically for him after everyone saw the hot sauce challenge. He isn’t interested in anyone.

Everyone turns to mystery, the only guy that hasn’t spoken yet.

First he tries to play it off “I’m not into any of them like that…”

The boys continuously hound him. He can no longer maintain his mysterious image any longer. 

“Okay fine,” he runs a hand through his hair. 

I feel like he’d keep his hair up in a ponytail or bun or something when around the boys. 

This headcannon is kinda specific but because he was the only demon with like “tusks”, I feel like after becoming human he would still feel uncomfortable with his face hence the hairstyle.

Leading to his confusion about Zoey cause he might feel as though she doesn’t deserve someone like him.

“I’m not saying I like her or anything but… do you guys think Zoey meant what she said?”

No one’s sure what he’s talking about because they weren’t there. Except Baby. 

This guy is laid back with a grin as he 100% knows what is bothering Mystery.

“About you being her type?~” he teases

Uproar

Mystery is trying to sink into the couch to avoid all the teasing thats being thrown his way but he notices there’s an unanimous agreement that Zoey must have been honest.

Zoey isn’t any better off.

Even though the girls have more or less accepted the Saja boys into the human world, they’ll still probably be a bit on guard at all times.

“Zoey he’s the enemyyyyy” Mira would groan, interrupting one of the black-haired girls' many rambles about the Saja Boy.

“But Rumi is half-demon and she isn’t the enemy” she’d argue in defiance.

“This isn’t about being a demon anymore,” Zoey would have Mira pulling her hair out, “He’s the competition!”

“But Rumi gets to be with Jinu and no one says anything!!!” 

Rumi is in immediate denial but no one is listening

All 3 girls know that Zoey will continue to pursue this crush anyways

General 

Now, Mystery is probably the most quiet Saja Boy. He doesn't talk much, but every time he does, Zoey repeats whatever it is he said in her head for hours.

Zoey would totally fluster him (and herself) by mistake

Remember the scene where they had a joint fan meet and she was immediately all giggly when he sat by her?

This would set off something in his heart yk. 

Zoey also needs to like physically remind herself to stop fangirling around him 💀

Mystery’s the “cool one” of the group but if there was ever a moment where Zoey let her hair out of her cute space buns?

He’s a goner

Even watching her rap messes with his heart strings

How can someone so cute be so attractive?

There are fan edits of them glancing at each other at the same time that go viral constantly.

A specific one is this fanart I saw on tiktok of them doing the “Bark Like You Want It” trend (will link it and add a photo in the end)

Someone also made a compilation of them looking away awkwardly after accidentally touching each other.

Zoey once wore earrings that were clearly his during a livestream.

No explanation was given.

The fandom exploded.

Mystery avoided the internet like a plague. He didn’t even know how she got them.

The line he had in “I’m Your Idol”?

“I will love you more when it all burns down”

Notice how Zoey goes from looking like a hypnotized zombie into a smiling hypnotized zombie???

He would write lyrics about her but disguise them as some metaphorical demon lore. 

Zoey reads between the lines way too easily (she writes lyrics for a living) and now whenever he performs it, she won’t make proper eye contact.

She eventually admits this to him and he’s just like “Yea I figured”. Zoey clocks that this was one of his chosen methods of flirting.

They talk best when no one's watching. 

Mystery doesn’t feel like anyone will be there to tease him and Zoey won’t feel any guilt for talking so much

I JUST REALIZED THEY’RE LITERALLY THE YAPPER X LISTENER DUO!

"Do you ever miss being a demon? Not having a soul?"

“Not having a soul meant I wasn’t able to feel all the joy you bring me" my guy is a flustered mess.

Zoey would leave sticky notes on the boys' dorm fridge. 

All of them are jokes or warnings. The warnings are specifically for Baby though. 

"don’t eat my snacks unless you want your hand broken, Baby :D"

The ones she leaves for mystery are always sweet though.

"You looked nice on stage today ;P"

"Wear your hair up more! ><"

He keeps them folded in his wallet.

Zoeystery and Baby

Speaking of Baby

Zoey and Baby are most definitely a messy duo that both fans love to see together.

With Baby being their number one (in secret) supporter, Mystery would almost always find himself tagging along on their adventures.

Making pancakes at 3 in the morning? Mystery is helping them with the batter.

Having a rap battle? Mystery is tallying up the points.

Finding a way to prank Jinu? Mystery is making sure they escape without getting caught

He really only follows Baby cause he knows it means he’ll be spending time with Zoey.

Overall they're just two cuties.

[hydrobunny]

never took me quite where you do

tags: established relationship, fluff, silliness

a/n: based on king of my heart. (which was also my eras surprise song!!)

--------------------------------------------------------

"you haven't had a girlfriend?" you ask, surprise coloring your voice.

rin itoshi stares at you like you've suddenly got infinitely stupider. "not before you."

"that's," you start, then stop. actually, now that you're really thinking about it, it does make sense. "you know what, yeah. seems about right."

offense glares in his eyes as he leans away from you. "the hell does that mean?"

you raise your brows. "what do you think, rin?"

he fully untangles his limbs from yours at that, shoving himself off of the couch. you protest at his motion - a little halfheartedly, but the effort is there .

standing up to his full height, rin itoshi glares down at you.

you blink up at him, smiling with all the innocence you can muster. "yes?"

"do you know how much fan mail i get?" he grits out. "how many chocolates i've gotten on valentine's?"

it takes quite a lot of effort for you to not start laughing. "i do know how popular you are, yes. you should see the edits on tiktok."

"so why-" rin falters. "edits?"

"go on."

it takes him a second. "i could've had a girlfriend if i wanted to," he says at last. "i just didn't."

you nod, still biting back a smile. "mhm. i'm sure all the girls would've loved you after seeing that personality of yours." you scoot over, offering up the space on the couch again.

rin continues to stare, but you can see his will weakening. "not like anyone wanted to date your lukewarm ass either," he says with a finality.

you snort. "i thought you grew out of that word."

he rolls his eyes.

"also- factually untrue. i've had boyfriends before."

and rin's entire demeanor switches. "what?"

you wave your hand, dismissive. "not like a lot, but. an average amount to have for a high schooler, i think. none of it was ever serious. not like you," you grin.

rin doesn't return it. genuine shock bleeds through his face; he turns on his heel. "i'm going to bed."

"wha- rin?"

forty five minutes later, you breeze into your shared bedroom. your teeth are freshly brushed, your skin lotioned, and you're almost ready for a good night's sleep.

"are you actually still mad about- what the hell are you doing?"

rin freezes, one hand still on the computer mouse. from your vantage point, you can see every pixel on that screen.

"is that my high school boyfriend?"

he turns in the swivel chair, very clearly not in bed. the classic 'itoshi indifference,' as you've coined it, masks itself over his face.

you step closer. "rin. is that, or is that not, the instagram profile of my ex."

he nods, slowly.

"can i ask why you're looking at his profile?"

he begins to shake his head, and then changes his mind (a good choice). but rin itoshi has never been too good at keeping himself calm-

"he's unemployed."

there's a beat of silence.

"sorry?"

"jobless. a leech on society. useless as a human being," rin continues. "a complete ass of himself, basically."

you stare at him. he stares at you. and then-

you burst out laughing. "are you serious?"

rin seems surprised by your reaction. it makes you laugh even harder.

"oh my god- you've been stalking his socials? for the last, like, hour?' you broke your stupid athlete sleep schedule for this?" there are genuine tears welling in the corner of your eyes. "for a guy i dated years ago?"

a little self-conscious now, rin stands up. "i was trying to sleep for the first twenty minutes. after that.." he trails off.

and you slam into him with a hug, still laughing. "i love you so much."

he stiffens at the initial contact, but gives into your touch the moment after. "i love you too?"

you hum into his ear. "they don't matter anymore. you know that, right? they never did- not seriously enough. you're the only one."

rin doesn't reply.

"and i know you could have any girl you wanted. but that doesn't matter to me. because you want me. and i will never get enough of you, rin itoshi."

his voice is a low murmur. "me neither. no one's ever compared to you."

and he presses a kiss onto your lips, and it's better than anything you've ever had.

[anghraine]

It's always been intriguing to me that, even when Elizabeth hates Darcy and thinks he's genuinely a monstrous, predatory human being, she does not ever perceive him as sexually predatory. In fact, literally no one in the novel suggests or believes he is sexually dangerous at any point. There's not the slightest hint of that as a factor in the rumors surrounding him, even though eighteenth-century fiction writers very often linked masculine villainy to a possibility of sexual predation in the subtext or just text*. Austen herself does this over and over when it comes to the true villains of her novels.

Even as a supposed villain, though, Darcy is broadly understood to be predatory and callous towards men who are weaker than him in status, power, and personality—with no real hint of sexual threat about it at all (certainly none towards women). Darcy's "villainy" is overwhelmingly about abusing his socioeconomic power over other men, like Wickham and Bingley. This can have secondhand effects on women's lives, but as collateral damage. Nobody thinks he's targeting women.

In addition, Elizabeth's interpretations of Darcy in the first half of the book tend to involve associating him with relatively prestigious women by contrast to the men in his life (he's seen as extremely dissimilar from his male friends and, as a villain, from his father). So Elizabeth understands Darcy-as-villain not in terms of the popular, often very sexualized images of masculine villainy at the time, but in terms of rich women she personally despises like Caroline Bingley and Lady Catherine de Bourgh (and even Georgiana Darcy; Elizabeth assumes a lot about Georgiana in service of her hatred of Darcy before ever meeting her).

The only people in Elizabeth's own community who side with Darcy at this time are, interestingly, both women, and likely the highest-status unmarried women in her community: Charlotte Lucas and Jane Bennet. Both have some temperamental affinities with Darcy, and while it's not clear if he recognizes this, he quietly approves of them without even knowing they've been sticking up for him behind the scenes.

This concept of Darcy-as-villain is not just Elizabeth's, either. Darcy is never seen by anyone as a sexual threat no matter how "bad" he's supposed to be. No one is concerned about any danger he might pose to their daughters or sisters. Kitty is afraid of him, but because she's easily intimidated rather than any sense of actual peril. Even another man, Mr Bennet, seems genuinely surprised to discover late in the novel that Darcy experiences attraction to anything other than his own ego.

I was thinking about this because of how often the concept of Darcy as an anti-hero before Elizabeth "fixes him" seems caught up in a hypermasculine, sexually dangerous, bad boy image of him that even people who actively hate him in the novel never subscribe to or remotely imply. Wickham doesn't suggest anything of the kind, Elizabeth doesn't, the various gossips of Meryton don't, Mr Bennet and the Gardiners don't, nobody does. If anything, he's perceived as cold and sexless.

Wickham in particular defines Darcy's villainy in opposition to the patriarchal ideal his father represented. Wickham's version of their history works to link Darcy to Lady Anne, Lady Catherine (primarily), and Georgiana rather than any kind of masculine sexuality. This version of Darcy is a villain who colludes with unsympathetic high-status women to harm men of less power than themselves, but villain!Darcy poses no direct threat to women of any kind.

It's always seemed to me that there's a very strong tendency among fans and academics to frame Darcy as this ultra-gendered figure with some kind of sexual menace going on, textually or subtextually. He's so often understood entirely in terms of masculinity and sexual desire, with his flaws closely tied to both (whether those flaws are his real ones, exaggerated, or entirely manufactured). Yet that doesn't seem to be his vibe to other characters in the story. There's a level at which he does not register to other characters as highly masculine in his affiliations, highly sexual, or in general as at all unsafe** to be around, even when they think he's a monster. And I kind of feel like this makes the revelations of his actual decency all along and his full-on heroism later easier to accept in the end.

------------

*The incompetently awful villain(?) in Sanditon, for instance, imagines himself another Lovelace (a reference to the famous rapist-villain of Samuel Richardson's Clarissa). Evelina's sheltered education and lack of protectors makes her vulnerable to sexual exploitation in Frances Burney's Evelina, though she ultimately manages to avoid it. There's frequently an element of sexual predation in Gothic novels even of very different kinds (e.g. Ann Radcliffe's The Mysteries of Udolpho and Matthew Lewis's The Monk both lean into this, in their wildly dissimilar styles). William Godwin's novel Caleb Williams, a book mostly about the destructive evils of class hierarchies and landowning classes specifically, depicts the mutual obsession of the genteel villain Falkland and working class hero Caleb in notoriously homoerotic terms (Godwin himself added a preface in 1832 saying, "Falkland was my Bluebeard, who had perpetrated atrocious crimes ... Caleb Williams was the wife"). This list could go on for a very long time.

**Darcy is also not usually perceived by other characters as a particularly sexual, highly masculine person in a safe way, either, even once his true character is known. Elizabeth emphasizes the resilience of Darcy's love for her more than the passionate intensity they both evidently feel; in the later book, she does sometimes makes assumptions about his true feelings or intentions based on his gender, but these assumptions are pretty much invariably shown to be wrong. In general the cast is completely oblivious to the attraction he does feel; even Charlotte, who wonders about something in that quarter, ends up doubting her own suspicions and wonders if he's just very absent-minded.

The novel emphasizes that he is physically attractive, but it goes to pains to distinguish this from Wickham's sex appeal or the charisma of a Bingley or Fitzwilliam. Mr Bennet (as mentioned above) seems to have assumed Darcy is functionally asexual, insofar as he has a concept of that. Most of the fandom-beloved moments in which Darcy is framed as highly sexual, or where he himself is sexualized for the audience, are very significantly changed in adaptation or just invented altogether for the adaptations they appear in. Darcy watching Elizabeth after his bath in the 1995 is invented for that version, him snapping at Elizabeth in their debates out of UST is a persistent change from his smiling banter with her in the book, the fencing to purge his feelings is invented, the pond swim/wet shirt is invented. In the 2005 P&P, the instant reaction to Elizabeth is invented, the hand flex of repressed passion is invented, the Netherfield Ball dance as anything but an exercise in mutual frustration is invented, the near-kiss after the proposal in invented, etc. And in those as well, he's never presented as sexually predatory, not even as a "villain."

[gay-dorito-dust]

funny req on how dante or vergil would react to being playfully spanked on their behind by their s/o, if not ok then thats cool too

dante

he's honestly into it, he wants you to do it again. might as well be bending over any surface just to entice you into smacking his ass again with a cheeky smirk followed by a equally cheeky wink.

no joke, he's all for a bit of playful butt smacking, especially if you were the one to instigate it first.

he makes a competition out of it that ends up with his chasing you throughout the house, all in hopes of reciprocating your ass smack with one of his own.

his demon side saw this as a sort of reinforcement of your relationship as in demon terms 'mates' and was more then willing to partake in this little game.

'you cheeky little minx.' dante says with a smile upon having his ass smacked and seeing your not so sutble way of acting innocent. 'you like smacking my ass or something? not that i'm complaining, my ass is very iresistable in these jeans.'

yeah now that you had one up on him, you best keep your ass covered from this point onwards as he was now planning on smacking your ass harder then you did his.

seriously his brain is hardwired into this sort of thing but obviously not to the point where it actually hurt and went beyond playful.

he's not that type of dickhead that would ever dare lay a hand on you with the intent to harm.

vergil

yet your ass might hurt to sit on for a while when he does manage to catch you off guard once, and you're glaring at him while he smirks, proud that you were even now.

'you happy?' you said through gritted teeth, your ass was throbbing and warm that you wouldn't be surpised if there was a comedical mark in the shape of his hand, glowing red and everything.

yet that surprisingly was not the case. he snacked your ass with the same amount of strenght you did to him, well the demon equivilent at lest, you were almsot sent flying with the force of the smack.

'very.' he replies, showing off his canines as he smiles cheekily at you. 'don't start something you can't finish sweetheart.' he adds and soon enough he's running away as you planned revenge; to smack his ass even harder.

riggid and awkward, his ears were redder then beetroots as his shoulders were extremely tense.

he doesn't know how to react when you playfully smack his ass.

also he's extremely demon brained it's insane, he's wondering if this was a human courting thing he wasn't privy to, or something else entirely that he just didn't understood.

he's been in hell for a really, really long time. so forgive him for not being up to date on how people flirt within the modern age. not that it was something that he found as worth his time to keep infromed on at all.

he has bigger and better things to focus on.

'what is this foolishness behaviour?' he asks, voice tight and almost snippy.

you shrug. 'me smacking your butt?'

'yes. that, what is the meaning of such...act.' he hesitates before finishing his sentance, dreading what would leave your mouth. he seriously didn't see what was the point in smacking someone's ass, what point does it serve to prove.

he's not as reciprocal as his brother, but if he's feeling a little heat under the collar thanks to his demonic heritage, then he might be a little bold and reciprocate the act or do the demon equivilent of smacking someones ass.

other then that, don't bother smacking his ass again, his hand has been trained to react upon reflexes to catch your hand to fall upon his ass. he's not one for foolish games, but you weren't one to easily give up becuase your partner has god-like speed and reflexes.

so yeah he's not a fan of having his ass smacked unless his miraculously in heat or in a good mood or some other shit.

[the-modern-typewriter]

Short dinner date story between a normal human who just so happens to love garlic as much as they love their partner, but is completely oblivious to the fact that their partner is an obscenely powerful vampire. They are strong enough to not die from eating garlic, but would still be desperately hiding their vampirism while trying to eat every bit of garlic laced food that was lovingly made by their partner.

"You don't like garlic."

The human looked near tears.

"I - what - no," the vampire spluttered. "I love garlic. Garlic is the-"

"-Question," the human said. Their eyes were, somehow, dark and tight with an unexpected...something beneath the tears. The hurt. Frustration? Anger? Were they angry? It was definitely something, that the vampire hadn't fully anticipated. "Do you think I want you to lie to me? Like, do you think to impress me, you should have to pretend to be someone you're not? Is that the kind of person you think I am?"

"Um."

That was not a question most would dare ask them. It was also a ridiculous question. Most humans, most people, in the vampire's experience absolutely wanted lies. Romance was a lie. A curated sweetness, or thrill, carefully separated from the un-sexiness of being alive. It seemed like a trick question.

"I don't," the human said. "Like, what the absolute hell. If you can't tell me something as simple as 'hey, I don't like garlic' how am I supposed to trust you with anything big? Like, hey, we're in bed, and you want to stop, but you don't want to upset me, so you're just like 'it's fine!' But it's not fine."

The vampire's head tilted. It took them a moment to parse that. They weren't sure if it was the garlic burning like acid in the pit of their stomach making it twist in cramps, or the emotions on the human's face.

"Oh my god," the human said, slumping. "Do you actually like it when we're in bed together."

"Yes. Yes! Why would you even need to ask that!?"

"Why would you spend over a year pretending you like garlic when you very clearly don't?"

"I think you're blowing this way out of proportion-"

"-Are you actually going to sit there and tell me I'm being over-dramatic when you've been elaborately hiding the fact my cooking makes you ill?"

"I love seeing you happy," the vampire offered, after a beat. That seemed safe enough. "Garlic makes you happy."

"And does it make you happy?"

"Making you happy makes me happy, darling."

"Oh, for the love of god!" The human pushed back from the table, grabbing the half-eaten pasta plates and storming towards the kitchen.

After a moment, the vampire followed. They watched the human carefully scrape the remnants of their dinner date into the bin.

"Garlic," the human said, through gritted teeth. "Yes or no? Completely independent of me."

"You're cooking is lovely, and sweet-"

The human rounded on them, looking ready to scream or sob or possibly glare ferociously, as if they were one of the most deadly predators to walk the planet.

The vampire cleared their throat and took a step back. "Garlic is, um. I'm not the biggest fan. Kinda gives me a stomach ache. It's not a vampire thing, or anything, I just - I don't know. Not a fan. It's the texture!"

"Thank you for telling me. I will cook less garlic."

"But you love garlic! I don't want you to sacrifice-"

"-It's not your decision." The human closed their eyes. They breathed out. When they next spoke, it was gentler. They wrapped their arms around themselves. "What I sacrifice or don't sacrifice for people I care about is my decision, and something I do deserve to make an informed decision about, you know? There are plenty of people I can eat garlic with. It doesn't have to be you."

"...you are really upset about the garlic."

"It's not about the garlic!"

Had the human guessed the truth then, somehow?"

The human dragged a hand through their hair. "Would you want me to tell you I liked something when I didn't? And not even didn't like it, when it actively made me feel bad? Would you want me to tell you?"

"You don't have to. I can always tell when you like something and when you don't."

"Oh, well, now I feel loads better."

It sounded like sarcasm. They did not look loads better.

The vampire blinked at them again, astonished, not sure how their dinner date had got quite so out of hand. The silence stretched as the vampire floundered, trying to think of something to say that wasn't, 'but you believe me it's not about vampirism, right?'

"I...wasn't trying to hurt you," the vampire said, eventually.

"I know."

"You're still upset."

"Just wondering what else you've lied to me about, I guess."

The vampire laughed, nervously.

The human did not. They turned away again, back to the dishes, as fragile as if the very ground beneath their feet had somehow been wrenched away.

"I haven't. I haven't lied to you about anything," the vampire lied. "I'd never do that. You're too important."

"Okay." But their voice was small.

"Next time I'll tell you if I don't like something, okay? If that's what you want? If that's what makes you happy?"

"And what," the human said, with the tiredness of an immortal thing, "would make you happy?"

The vampire had never hated garlic more.