#<-editing to add these tags since this is getting notes again

[viking-chaos]

I don't want to get too involved in this drama, but I do want to address one thing about the source blogs.

No-one is excluding anyone. We reblog a ton of different things; gifsets, edits, screencaps, moodboard, fanart and recently memes.

You posts do not have to be crispy, fancy-shmancy complex edits to be reblogged on the source blog.

If you want us reblog stuff, TAG US

The source blog tracks two tags. #thelastkingdomedit and #tlkkingdom.

Put either or both of those tags in you post and we will reblog it.

As another note about tagging, I track #userdickon, which means if you tag me in a gifset, edit, screencap, moodboard etc, I will add it to my queue to be reblogged. As this is a sideblog all likes come from my main @aneurins-barnard. If I have like your post, it is in my queue, about to be queued, or I need to find the appropriate reaction pic/gif.

The community is "request to join" because of porn-bots. Not because we want to exclude people, but because we don't want to open the community thing to be greeted with a massive dick. Literally.

I will admit, I do not completely find communities all that useful. The character of the week thing occasionally give me an idea for an edit. Otherwise, the only one I've found useful is the one dedicated to an obscure Welsh actor.

The events on the source blog are open to all.

There is no sign-up sheet. There is no application form to take part in events. We post the prompts, you make stuff to fit those prompts. And again, they do not have to be fancy blended edits to fit the prompts. You could literally do whatever the fuck you want. The only singular requirement is for that thing to fit the prompts.

This year marks 10 full years since The Last Kingdom first graced our screens. Regardless of when you came into the fandom. We at @tlk-kingdomsource will be hosting an event in October to mark those 10 years. The exact details still need to be agreed upon.

If you want to be part of the making of this event, or just part of the sourceblog, the application is here. It's been open since the start of that blog. This event has been decided since the start of this source blog. The only thing we ask is that you are able to make either gifs or edited screencaps. We do not need anything else.

If you want to learn how to make gifs or edit screencaps, or want to know where to find resources, just ask. Send an ask to the blog, send an ask to anyone part of it. Send a DM.

I can say I will be very happy to sit in DMs here or on discord and help you with gifmaking or screencap editing. I will be beyond happy to share my resources and presets. You just need to ask. That is it.

As far as the 10 years of tlk event is concerned, it is open to everyone. Gifsets, edits, screencaps, moodboard, memes, fanart, anything is welcome. The prompts will be released in August, so you'll have two whole months to make some amazing stuff.

My inbox is open. My DMs are open. The sourceblog asks are also open. If you have questions, concerns, complaints, suggestions

SEND AN ASK OR A MESSAGE

Don't sit and stew. Just fucking ask. We don't bite. (unless you ask us to)

There are no stupid questions.

Ask.

Communicate.

If you have a problem, don't be passive-aggressive about it.

This fandom is too small for this kind of division. I am not saying we all have to forgive and forget. I think some things have been said in haste and anger, and we all need to apologise.

So, I shall start. If I have offended anyone, whatever I said or did, I'm sorry.

As you may have noticed, I have started posting and reblogging more on here again, and I am glad of it. I have realised that limiting myself to my guys (as it were) was causing far more problems that it solved. The Last Kingdom is an incredible show with a huge range of different characters who all deserve some form of recognition. The amazing actors who brought those characters to life, too.

[monstertsunami]

i spilled pasta in my backpack and got so mad that i made a traumacore edit about it

[alltimefail]

Agency Assignments: A comprehensive to-do list for saving Dead Boy Detectives!

I'm very easily overwhelmed, so I wanted to break down all the ways to help "Save Dead Boy Detectives" that I have seen floating around. This is meant to be something you can reference when you feel like there is so much you need and want to do to help, but don't know how or where to start.

Note: I will be updating this post as we go when necessary, so feel free to bookmark it in your browser for easy access, add it to your homepage, whatever! I'll always have a link to it in my Pinned Navigation post on my blog as well!

It is of the utmost importance that we fight as an organized, well-informed front. We need to be on the same page if we're going to save our show, so let's get into it! 💜💀🔎

➪ First and foremost, follow @savethedeadboys! They're going to be our best resource during this fight.

➪ Next, follow @deadboyagency for news and updates: they've been around since the show dropped and have been an invaluable source of information the entire time.

Now for some task breakdowns:

"One-Time" Tasks

➪ Like the header says, these things can only be done once. Once you do them, you don't have to give them any space in your mind.

Sign the petition*

Review & Rate Dead Boy Detectives on Google, IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes. Be sure on IMDB you don't just rate the show as a whole, but you also rate each individual episode! You can also "Like" the show on Google and click "Watched" which helps the show's engagement scores. (If there are other popular sites I haven't listed here, feel free to share them and rate Dead Boy Detectives highly on them!)

Notify Netflix customer service (through their online chat feature) that you're unhappy with the cancelation of Dead Boy Detectives. This is a short, 5-minute task that I wrote a guide on (with an example message) here!

"Repeat" Tasks:

➪ These tasks can become a part of your daily routine; do what works best for you! You don't have to do every single one of these tasks every day if that is overwhelming!

Share the petition* over and over again, on every one of your socials! Make everyone you love sign it!

Stream Dead Boy Detectives!* Keep it on a loop in the background on low volume as much as possible. Try to get others to stream it as well, especially if they haven't watched it before! Netflix cares about VIEWS: views save shows and I broke down the reasoning here. (Bonus: if you post over on Twitter about your rewatch, use the tag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives)

Talk about Dead Boy Detectives!* You're probably doing that already, but just be sure that you're tagging your posts. Here on Tumblr use the "Dead Boy Detectives" tag at least (to boost our tag to trending) and anywhere that uses hashtags (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram for example) I would recommend #SaveDeadBoyDetectives and #DeadBoyDetectives as those seem to be the most commonly used tags! IMPORTANT: do not use more than 20 tags here on Tumblr! Any more than 20 and your posts might be marked as spam and hidden from the tags!

Create art, edits for TikTok, fics, gif sets, doodles, crafts, analysis posts, and so on for Dead Boy Detectives.* Having fun is important, too! This is an extension of the "Talk about Dead Boy Detectives" point, but it needs to be stated - don't remove the joy from the fight. If a drawing of our boys or a smutty fic with your favorite trickster cat king is what you can bring to the fight on any given day, that is a perfectly valuable contribution! It's not all emails and hashtags.

Daily request a show through Netflix. Bonus if you're signed in! (I do 3-5 times a day)

Send Emails advocating for Dead Boy Detectives (Email list & Email Template). You can do this as much as you want or just one time.

Send Snail-mail (physical letters) to Netflix advocating for Dead Boy Detectives. I also send a copy of my letters to Warner Bros. Studios. Again, you can do this one time or multiple times. There are dates set aside for "mass" mail sending as well, so check out info on that here!

Interact with articles posted about Dead Boy Detectives. Read them, share them, comment on them, thank the writer for writing them, etc. We want lots of press about the cancellation, and supporting journalists and publications will make them want to write about Dead Boy Detectives more.

NOTE: Anything marked with a * means it's extremely important; if you can only do a few things, these tasks are the ones that you should focus on first. Remember to take care of yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so don't burn yourself out!

WE WILL SAVE THIS SHOW.

Say that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it. We're doing this to get justice for the writers, the actors, for ourselves, and assert to these companies that diverse, queer stories are not disposable one-offs; they deserve to be told in full!

Hugs and Handshakes to you all - whatever will suffice. 💜 Always feel free to reach out if you have any questions, whether that be through private message or my ask box. I'm not going anywhere!

- V

[goregfx]

MY GO-TO'S FOR EDITING.

I’ve decided to put together a masterlist of the resources I use, since I get asked about them pretty often. If you're somebody who can’t commission resource makers or you’re just wanting to get into editing or creating commissions yourself, I hope this helps.

pinterest. IMPORTANT NOTICE IF YOU UTILIZE THIS: avoid usings people's art; if you can get permission from an artist to use a piece, that's another discussion. Be warned there may also be ai mixed in, which I've personally got a good eye for spotting; i prefer to go by images i've seen long before the ai craze, since i've been on there for a while. your best bet is looking through miscellenous character boards. From there, you can choose images to blend or even make pngs out of, to give unique flare to your edits.

remove.bg + photokit. if you're looking to save time or don't have a way to cutout images manually ( i sometimes like to use my art tablet if I want to be really precise ), these are good ways to make pngs out of images you find, as opposed to png sites. i prefer this because ive caught adware on png sites before, plus there's also a lot of ai on those as well.

for screencaps, i use google images or youtube, since the quality is higher than anything on pinterest...though, psds are what normally cover up quality issues, from what i've learned. then again, it might depend on the psd. IMPORTANT NOTE IF YOU UTILIZE THIS: If you’re using google Images, searching for actual screencaps might lead you to blogs or websites dedicated to capping—many of which ask for credit if you use their content. Also, avoid reposting people's edits or gifs, since those will inevitably show up when searching faceclaim names and similar tags. on the off chance you find free-to-use faceclaim content, be sure to credit if/when asked !

photopea. it's a great alternative for those of us who can't be assed to learn adope, nor can afford it .

I know it doesn't look like much, but this is genuinely my go-to formula. I don't think there's any need for anything over the top. That said, if you guys have better alternatives or anything to add, feel free—this is just based on my own experience.

ADDITIONAL EDITING TIPS: If you find yourself stumped creatively or unsure how to approach using these, I’d recommend breaking down the character or setting you’re working with in terms of aesthetic. What are some keywords or imagery you associate with that muse ? Take a character like h/arry p/otter, for example—focus on individual visuals, important symbols, and signature colors. For him, I’d think of round glasses, lightning bolts, owls, candles, spell books, brooms, etc. Then, take each of those elements and explore them individually. I’d maybe start by looking up “owls” on Pinterest; from there, I might find images that can be turned into pngs. Repeat that process with every vibe or detail that comes to mind. You don’t have to limit yourself to making pngs either—feel free to experiment by blending different images together and building a look from there.

ADDITIONAL UPDATES/RECOMMENDATIONS:

Screencapped ( * will need an account )

VLC Media Player ( * good for screencaps / things you've downloaded from youtube )

[mingi-s-dimples]

Shy, until tonight - Woogi

KINKOTBER DAY 23 , REQ BY anon 🤧

~"Here is my request heheh (YES ME AGAIN with like the forth request or third) so reader has 2 bsfs both being also friends with benefits aka fucking from time to time☺️ (woo and mingi are the bsfs) tonight we all were at a party reader is always the shy type while mingi and woo dragged her ass here so reader wanting revenge she teased them all night" -> I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH VISUAL SPACE TO ADD EVERYTHING but she essentially wanted me to add breast fondling, double penetration, teasing, opening her legs to them, bathroom sex.

pairing: woogi x fem!reader

genre: 18+, fwb, filth

summary: wooyoung insists that you go to a party with him.. mingi agrees with him and you're left with the only option ti tag along. but you have your fun until they turn tables and have their way with you, for teasing them all night.

wc: 3.5k

warnings: fwb, woogi love teasing, marking, lots of cum, fucking in a bathroom (dw it's not a club bathroom it's a normal one.. the party takes place @ someone's home) , reader is cocky/bratty at first but later gets fucking destroyed, double penetration, breast fondling, pussy eating, completely consensual, unprotected, for sure forgot something, will edit later.

Author's Note: I personally would love to be sandwiched between woo and mingi in this situation... might be just me tho. Love I hope you like itttt 😁🥰 I sure did love writing it!!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not represent the reality of the members in any way.

The music thrummed through the walls, a pulsating rhythm that seeped into your chest, heavy and unrelenting. You hated parties like this. Sweaty bodies crammed into a dimly lit house, voices rising above the pounding bass in an attempt to be heard. The air smelled of alcohol, perfume, and faintly of something herbal that made your head spin. Yet, here you were, sitting on a worn couch in a stranger’s living room, a cup of some questionable drink in your hand, all because Wooyoung had dragged you here.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” he had chirped hours earlier, his mischievous grin practically daring you to refuse.

“Fun for who?” you’d muttered, eyeing him skeptically.

“For all of us,” he had replied, tossing an arm around your shoulders. His dark eyes sparkled with something unspoken, a promise maybe, one you weren’t sure you wanted to unwrap.

You’d looked to Mingi for help, hoping he’d side with you, but he had only shrugged. “You know how he gets,” Mingi had said, his deep voice calm and nonchalant. “It’s easier to just go along with it.”

So here you were.

The couch sagged beneath you as you shifted, trying to find a comfortable position in your tight dress. Wooyoung had insisted you dress up, claiming it was “part of the vibe.” He hadn’t left your side since you arrived, dragging you into conversations with people you didn’t know and laughing at inside jokes you weren’t part of. Mingi, ever the quiet observer, had trailed behind, offering you small smiles that made your stomach flip but didn’t ease your annoyance.

Now, the three of you occupied the couch, Wooyoung and Mingi seated directly across from you, legs spread in that casually confident way that somehow made them both look infuriatingly attractive. You sipped your drink, trying not to let your irritation show as they chatted about something you weren’t listening to.

“You’re too quiet,” Wooyoung said suddenly, his voice cutting through the noise around you. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he fixed you with a knowing look. “What’s on your mind, Y/N?”

You gave him a sweet smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes. “Oh, nothing. Just wondering why I let you drag me here.”

Wooyoung laughed, loud and carefree, as if your irritation amused him. “You love it. Admit it.”

Your smile tightened. Two could play in this game.

“Well,” you said, crossing your legs slowly, deliberately, letting the hem of your dress ride up just enough to be noticeable. You caught the way Wooyoung’s eyes flicked downward, just for a split second, before he met your gaze again. “I suppose I might as well make the most of it.”

Mingi, who had been silent up until now, raised an eyebrow. His lips quirked into a small smile, but his gaze was sharp, assessing.

“Is that so?” he asked, his deep voice sending a shiver down your spine.

You leaned back against the couch, letting your body relax in a way that felt foreign but powerful. Your knees fell apart just slightly, enough that the motion could be considered accidental—if you wanted it to be.

Wooyoung’s gaze flicked downward again, and this time, he didn’t bother hiding it.

“You’re being awfully bold tonight,” he remarked, his tone teasing but laced with something heavier.

“Am I?” you asked innocently. You shifted your position again, your foot brushing against Mingi’s leg. His eyes darkened, but he didn’t move, didn’t pull away.

Wooyoung laughed, a short, breathy sound that held none of his usual bravado. “You’re playing a dangerous game, sweetheart.”

You tilted your head, feigning confusion. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Mingi leaned back, draping an arm over the back of the couch as he watched you. His posture was relaxed, but there was a tension in his jaw, a tightness in his grip that betrayed him.

“Careful,” he warned, his voice low enough that it was almost drowned out by the music. “You’re not as subtle as you think.”

“Oh, I think I’m doing just fine,” you replied, letting your fingers trail along the edge of your cup before they "accidentally" brushed against Wooyoung’s knee. He tensed beneath your touch, his sharp inhale barely audible.

You smirked, feeling a surge of satisfaction. But then your gaze drifted downward, catching the unmistakable bulge straining against the fabric of Wooyoung’s pants. You didn’t need to look at Mingi to know he was in a similar state.

You couldn’t help it. A low chuckle escaped your lips, soft but taunting. “Oh,” you murmured, raising your eyes to meet theirs. “Is something wrong?”

Wooyoung’s eyes darkened, and his usual cocky grin returned, though there was a new edge to it now. “You’re enjoying this too much.”

“And you’re not?” you shot back, raising an eyebrow.

Mingi leaned forward then, his large hand resting on your knee. The weight of it sent a shiver up your spine, though you tried not to show it.

“You think you’ve won,” he said, his deep voice steady and calm, like he was explaining something obvious. “But you don’t know what we have planned.”

You blinked, caught off guard by his words. “What are you talking about?”

Wooyoung stood suddenly, holding out a hand to you. His grin was sharper now, almost predatory. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s talk about it somewhere... quieter.”

When you didn’t move, Mingi gave your knee a gentle squeeze. “Bathroom,” he said simply, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Your heart raced as you looked between the two of them, their gazes heavy with intent. You realized too late that whatever game you thought you were playing, they’d just turned the tables.

—

“The fuck y’all want!? You dragged me here!” you protested, back slightly arched against the cold tile of the bathroom that was remotely far from all the action, but still close enough to be heard slightly.

“What do you mean? Did you think we'd let you off the hook? What were you trying to do? you're not like this usually..” Wooyoung said and one of his hands rode up your waist to your lower back, pulling you close to him. Mingi was watching contently, catching a glimpse of his eyes shooting to the huge tent that formed in his pants. You were friends with benefits after all… but here!?

“I just wanted to get my revenge! You know I hate parties hosted by stran-.. M-mingi..?” your words faded as you saw Mingi, who was standing behind Wooyoung, was now unbuckling his pants and let them fall to his ankles.

“You know for sure what happens when you're a fucking brat, sweetie… teasing us like that will only get you in more trouble.” Wooyoung kept eye contact with you while Mingi talked, taking his pants off.

“You should've known better…darling.”

You were done for.. you thought.

Mingi got on one knee in front of you and Wooyoung got behind you, holding one of your legs with his right hand, raising your already short dress above your waist. His left hand went to your waist, holding you tight and fondling your breasts from time to time from under the dress.

“Let’s see if it was worth the teasing, our love” Mingi whispered and he took your soaked panties off, giggling. He then leaned in, soft kisses trailing from your knee to your thigh, then from your inner thigh to your cunt. You whined out when he started to eat you out, his tongue reaching every sweet spot of yours.

Wooyoung chuckled darkly from behind, his warm breath tickling your neck as he whispered into your ear, "Such pretty sounds. Don't hold back, sweetheart." His lips brushed against the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. His hand on your waist tightened slightly, grounding you as Mingi worked his magic below.

Mingi, ever the perfectionist, took his time. His lips and tongue moved with calculated precision, teasing you with alternating strokes of his tongue—soft and slow, then firm and demanding. He hummed low against you, the vibration a sweet torment. Every now and then, he'd pause to place open-mouthed kisses along the sensitive skin of your thighs, his gaze flickering up to meet yours, filled with mischief and adoration.

Behind you, Wooyoung trailed his fingers lightly along your sides. "Look at you," he murmured, voice dripping with admiration. "You're trembling, love." His hands skimmed up, fingers brushing your shoulders before sliding down your arms. He leaned in, kissing the curve of your neck with lingering softness, his teeth lightly grazing your skin in playful nips.

Mingi pulled back slightly, lips glistening, his grin wicked. "She tastes better than I imagined," he said, his voice husky. His hands stroked the outsides of your thighs, grounding you, while he waited for your breath to even out.

Wooyoung smirked, tilting your head slightly to the side with a gentle hand on your jaw. "Isn't it fun being at the center of our attention?" His lips brushed against your temple as he spoke, his tone low and intimate. He shifted slightly, pulling you closer into his chest, letting you feel his warmth and the steady rhythm of his breathing.

Mingi’s lips returned to your inner thighs, brushing featherlight kisses against your skin as he edged closer to your clit. His teasing was unbearable in the best way—soft flicks of his tongue followed by gentle bites to your thighs, leaving you whimpering and squirming in Wooyoung’s arms.

“Oh, you’re so sensitive, aren’t you?” Wooyoung teased, his voice a mix of amusement and adoration. His fingers trailed up your sides, sending shivers through your body, before settling on your shoulders. He massaged them gently, grounding you as you tilted your head back against him with a high-pitched whine. “Mingi’s barely started, and you’re already losing it.”

Mingi hummed in agreement, his hands pressing firmly into your thighs to keep you steady. “She’s always like this when she’s been teasing,” he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. His tongue darted out again, gliding in slow, deliberate strokes, the sensation enough to pull a loud, unrestrained moan from your lips.

Your fingers clawed at Wooyoung’s arms, desperate for something to hold onto as Mingi’s pace quickened. “M-Mingi,” you cried out, your voice trembling. He chuckled, the sound low and rich, the vibrations making you arch your back.

“Right there, huh?” Mingi teased, his lips curling into a smirk as his tongue circled a particularly sensitive spot. His hands gripped your thighs tighter, holding you in place as he focused his attention on driving you over the edge.

Wooyoung tilted your chin, bringing your face closer to his as he whispered into your ear, “So loud and beautiful for us, love. Don’t hold back. Let us hear everything.” His lips found your neck, planting soft kisses along your pulse as he watched your every reaction with pride.

The overwhelming combination of Mingi’s skillful tongue and Wooyoung’s grounding presence made it impossible to contain your sounds. Each whimper and moan spilled freely from your lips, growing louder as the pressure in your core built higher and higher.

Mingi’s voice was steady but commanding as he said, “That’s it, just let go for me.” He gave one last, perfectly calculated flick of his tongue, and the tension within you snapped. You cried out, your hands clutching Wooyoung tighter as waves of pleasure washed over you, your entire body trembling, cumming all over Mingi's beautiful face.

Mingi didn’t pull away immediately; he placed gentle, soothing kisses along your thighs, helping you come down from your high. “Beautiful,” he murmured, his tone soft and full of admiration.

Behind you, Wooyoung wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close and steadying your shaky legs. “Such a good girl,” he praised, his voice warm.

Wooyoung chuckled softly as he held you steady, his fingers brushing against your skin with infuriating gentleness. "Still shaking, huh?" he teased, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. His voice was playful yet low, sending a wave of heat through you. "Are you always this sensitive, or is it just because it's us, right here, in this moment?"

His hand slid down to your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze before raising your other leg effortlessly. “Let’s see how much more you can handle, sweetheart,” he murmured, his tone dripping with mischief. With both legs now secured in his strong hold, your body was completely enveloped in Wooyoung’s embrace, his warmth grounding and overwhelming all at once.

“Easy now,” Mingi said, his deep voice filled with affection as he stepped closer, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch. He reached out, his hands brushing over your sides and thighs in a soothing gesture before gripping your hips firmly. “You’re in good hands, love. Just trust us.”

Wooyoung adjusted his hold, his hands gripping your waist to keep you steady as Mingi moved in front of you. Slowly, with practiced ease, Mingi guided you down onto his dripping cock. Your hands flew to his back, clutching at his broad shoulders for support as a loud, trembling whine escaped your lips.

Mingi groaned softly, his hands tightening on your hips as he helped guide your movements. "That's it," he murmured, his voice husky and full of praise. “So perfect, just like this.” His forehead rested against yours briefly, his warm breath mingling with yours as he steadied you.

From behind, Wooyoung pressed his chest against your back, his lips brushing over your neck and shoulder. “You’re doing so well,” he whispered, his tone laced with pride and teasing. His grip on your thighs remained firm as he adjusted his hold, moving in perfect synchrony with Mingi.

The sensations were overwhelming—Mingi’s strength beneath you, Wooyoung’s embrace around you, and their combined warmth and presence surrounding you completely. Your head tilted back against Wooyoung’s shoulder as another whine left your lips, your nails digging into Mingi’s back as you sought some semblance of control. Their thrusts sent you over the edge all over again, the feeling of being filled up by them making you go insane.

“Louder, love,” Wooyoung coaxed, his voice a seductive murmur in your ear. “Let it all out. We want to hear everything.” His arms tightened around you, holding you securely as Mingi’s thrusts grew more deliberate, his hands never leaving your waist.

Mingi's grin was nothing short of devilish as he steadied you against him, his hands firm on your waist. His eyes glinted with a mixture of affection and mischief, his tone laced with amusement as he whispered, “You thought you could tease us and get away with it, huh? Look at you now.”

Wooyoung chuckled from behind, his lips brushing against your temple as his arms tightened around you. “Our bold little love thought she could handle the game,” he murmured, his tone dripping with playful mockery. “But now you’re here, trembling and whining. Isn’t that right?”

Your breath hitched, and your cheeks flushed even deeper as Mingi leaned closer, his lips ghosting over yours but not quite meeting them. “You look so pretty like this,” he teased, his voice a soft rumble. His fingers dug slightly into your hips, his touch grounding, his thrusts powerful. “Was this the revenge you had planned? Because it doesn’t look like it’s going so well for you.”

A frustrated whine left your lips, and your hands gripped tighter onto Mingi’s back, desperate for some control. But Mingi only smirked, his thumb brushing over your heated skin as he continued to hold you in place, unbothered by your attempts to regain power.

“Aw, don’t pout,” Wooyoung cooed behind you, his teasing relentless. “You look adorable when you’re losing.” He leaned closer, his lips grazing the curve of your neck before pressing a soft kiss there. “And right now, you’re losing so beautifully.”

Mingi chuckled low, his hands slowly trailing up your sides in a way that made you shiver. “Admit it,” he murmured, his voice velvet-soft yet commanding. “You wanted to get under our skin, but now you’re the one falling apart.” His lips brushed over your cheek, his breath warm against your skin. “It’s okay to admit defeat, love. We don’t mind watching you like this.”

Your legs shook as you tried to keep up with their teasing, your mind swimming from the overwhelming attention. “I just…” you started to protest, but the words dissolved into a whimper when Mingi tilted his head, his lips grazing over your ear.

“Just what?” he asked, his tone daring you to finish your sentence. “Come on, love. Say it.”

Wooyoung’s laughter was soft and melodic, his hands sliding to grip your thighs with firm, reassuring pressure. “She can’t even form a full sentence,” he teased. “Mingi, I think we’ve broken her.” Wooyoung's thrusts were smoother, while Mingi's were more powerful and harsh. But either way, their cocks were always filling you up good.

Mingi tilted his head back slightly, his grin wide and wicked as he looked at you. “Good,” he said simply, his tone dripping with satisfaction. “That’s what she gets for teasing all night.”

You couldn’t help but let out another whine, caught between wanting to respond and being utterly overwhelmed by their relentless thrusts. Mingi’s smirk softened slightly as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, a silent reminder that even in their teasing, their care for you never wavered.

“You’re ours,” he murmured, his voice firm but filled with warmth. “And we’ll remind you of that as many times as it takes.”

Wooyoung chuckled, his lips brushing your ear. “Every single time, love.”

Mingi’s grin widened when he felt you tighten your grip on his shoulders, a spark of defiance flaring in your eyes despite the moans spilling from your lips. “Still trying to act tough?” he teased, his tone playful yet taunting. “Even now, when you’re melting in our hands?”

You bit your lip, trying to stifle another whimper, but the heat pooling in your core betrayed you. “I’m not... giving in that easily,” you managed to gasp out, though the breathless quality of your voice made your words less convincing.

Wooyoung laughed softly from behind you, his voice rich with amusement. “Oh, love, you’re adorable when you’re feisty,” he murmured, his hands gripping your thighs to steady you. “But you’re not fooling anyone. We know exactly how much you’re loving this.” His lips pressed to the curve of your shoulder, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your skin.

Mingi chuckled, his hands sliding up to your waist as he leaned in closer. “We’ll see how long that fire lasts,” he murmured, his teeth grazing your collarbone before biting down gently, leaving a mark. You gasped, your head tilting back as your nails dug into his back, leaving faint crescents in his skin.

Wooyoung took that as his cue, his lips and teeth mapping a path along your back and shoulders. “Look at her, Mingi,” he said, his tone low and teasing. “She’s trembling again. I don’t think she can handle much more.”

You moaned in response, the sound breaking into a sharp gasp when Mingi’s lips trailed lower, his teeth and tongue working against the sensitive skin of your chest. “M-Mingi, Wooyoung,” you whined, your voice catching as your legs instinctively tightened around Mingi’s waist, pulling him closer, locking him in.

“Just like that,” Mingi murmured, his breath hot against your skin as his pace began to quicken. “Hold onto me, love. I’ve got you.” His hands gripped your waist, guiding your movements with precision, each thrust sending a fresh wave of heat through your body.

Behind you, Wooyoung’s lips never stopped moving, his teeth grazing your shoulder before soothing the marks with his tongue. “So beautiful,” he whispered against your skin, his voice rough with praise. “Every single part of you.”

As their movements synced, the intensity between the three of you reached a fever pitch. Mingi’s rhythm became more demanding, his hands never leaving your waist as he anchored you to him. Wooyoung’s hold on your thighs tightened, his lips pressing firmly against your skin as he continued marking you, each kiss and bite a silent claim.

You cried out, your moans growing louder as the overwhelming sensations pushed you closer to the edge. Mingi’s voice was steady and commanding as he urged, “Cum, sweetheart.. I know that's what you want to do right now.”

The heat between you all built to a crescendo, your cries mixing with their groans as the tension finally snapped. Mingi and Wooyoung came in perfect synchrony, their breaths ragged and heavy as they held you tightly between them. As you felt their huge loads filling you all up, the force of your own orgasm left you trembling in their arms, your nails digging into Mingi’s back as you whined out one last time.

For a moment, the three of you stayed entwined, your breaths mingling as you came down from the high together. Wooyoung’s arms wrapped around you securely, his lips pressing a tender kiss to your shoulder. “You’re incredible,” he murmured, his voice soft and full of warmth.

Mingi tilted your chin up, his eyes filled with affection as he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “And you’re ours,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for doubt. “Always.”

NETWORKS:

@blossomnet

@illusionnet

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@mingleshine @musiclovingfairy @crazylittlebisexual @sanhwalvr @arki-sha @artistic-rendition @hongjoongtime117 @cypher-03 @peachy-bell26 @atiny1

[pinkyjulien]

Hey everyone,

Fair warning, this will be yet another fandom wank post. I'm not going to put it under read more as I want it be visible. This isn't anything "huge" or important either

To put it simply; I finally left the public Modding Server because of Cybervesna.

You should know that there are at least two channels in this server where people can make fun of others in total impunity; in fact, if you call it out, you get removed from said channels. This is what happened to me and why I decided to finally leave this place

The "golden" channel main purpose was to share funny, confusing and/or random nexus comments or moments that every modders get at least once

Instead, for the past 3 days, Cybervesna was kinkshaming and mocking user Bubbliejubblie for their bodyhorror fetish virtual photography in this channel

🔸 You can find screenshot in this imgur album Note that Cybervesna is blocked and her first posts does not appear on the screenshots because of a script - you can see her (going by "Circle-jerk owner") post being replied to in later screenshots

After this happened, I posted a vent post on Tumblr about how much of an asshole move this was, without mentioning the server or cybervesna by name (you can find a screenshot of this post in the next imgur album, covnersation with the moderators)

This morning, I notice that the Golden channel is gone. Following my guts feeling, I decide to ask a moderator in DM about it, then to ask directly in the server

🔸 You can find screenshots of the conversation here as well

To understand why this is unfair, as mentioned in the screenshoted conversation, Cybervesna has been harassing me in this same server, without any consequences for her (she got told to stop in the server, which she then continued into tumblr; something that is now being held against me. I've never seen these posts of her before asking my friends for screenshots of them, to share to the moderators)

🔸 Screenshots about her harassment and how I tried to report it to the moderators, in vain

I should also point out that these two incidents ^ weren't the first time Cybervesna attacked me in a public place "out of spite" or just to air out her own issues with me

🔸 Her attacking me on NexusMods after the DP update

I do not have any final word to say here. Take it into consideration if you want to, be careful of what you vent on your own accounts because people with certain friendships will abuse it to get you out of public spaces.

Do not attack anyone mentioned in this post or visible in any of the screenshots; you can judge them, you can judge me, but do not attack anyone.

🔸 Do not be like Cybervesna, who publicly attacks others for using certain aesthetics, fonts, or "styles"

Edit - I want to add a precision concerning the usage of DMs from ManaVortex and I's conversation

Mana and I had three distincts type of discussions; the modding talk, the user/moderator talk, and the personal talk

The screenshots I've included were exclusively from our "User to Moderator" talks - these discussions happened in the context of my harassment in the Modding Server

I want to explain again why I had to include these DMs, why I think it was important to include them in the context of what happened:

Cybervesna complained in DMs to ArasakaApart, who is also a Moderator of the Modding Server, and sent him a screenshot of my un-tagged private vent post (that she couldn't have direct access to, because she is blocked since 2022)

These out-of-server complains prompted ArasakaApart to remove me from a channel in the server, meaning that Cybervesna's DMs had a direct repercution to the server, to its moderation and to its users

With that in mind, we can assume other instances of moderation took place in DMs - this is the reason I included my DMs with ManaVortex, who is another moderator of this server

This post isn't against/about ManaVortex - or ArasakaApart, for that matter. This post is about Cybervesna's constant harassment and how she was able to use her friendship with a Moderator to kick me out of a channel, by sending a screenshot of a private tumblr post via DM

I personally think it's important to include my own DMs, my own experience with a Moderator, in the context of my ongoing harassment in this server, and how this specific Moderator's actions contrasted drastically with the other Moderator's actions which caused me to eventually leave the server

[that-one-anxious-mango]

Hi love! I hope you are feeling/doing better! I was just thinking about the Days of Our Love series. Any chance we might get an update soon? I miss it!

Oh, New York. How I Love You. (1)

Summary: Austin's best girl comes to visit him in New York to cherish the time they have together before he leaves to Australia, in what becomes a very eventful two weeks together.

Word count: 8.2k

Warning: LONG POST!

Contents: Lots of fluff. Mentions of childhood trauma. Sexual Content (Oral: Fem receiving, hand job: Male Receiving), emotional situations.

A/N: Hello beautiful humans, it has been a minute. Don't drag me please. I just always take so long because I want to always put out the best content. Would you believe me if I said this went through TWO edits. Geez! But all in all, I hope you enjoy.

PS: Everyone feel free to comment, send more letter, and reblog! Much Love *hugs* Tags: @purejasmine, @wacoshuffle , @flyestvenustrap , @louisejoy86 , @unicoreads, @incorectly

______

“ Are you seriously going to take all of that to New York with you? Why don’t you just take one suitcase and then buy some outfits to wear there, ya’ know. “ Phoebe chirped from her spot laid out across your bed while flipping through a HG magazine. 

“ I agree. Buy some cute outfits and surprise him that way. Then you’ll have room to bring back the clothes you buy for you and us.” Alex continued to play a riveting game of tug of war with Magnus on the floor.

Her last comment made a laugh erupt from you in the closet, “ Yeah nice try, buddy. I’m not bringing you heifers anything back but some damn keychains and the lasting scent of the smug and smoggy New York air on me the next time we see each other.” You yelled back. “ And plus it’s gonna be cold outside.” 

Phoebe laughed while Alex scoffed, “ UM! Excuse me ma’am, but as a friend, need I remind your ass that this was a part of the deal. Since you’re abandoning me, The Travel Buddy, to go FORNICATE with Mr. Goldilocks in New York instead of HOME with me for the Winter Wonderland Festival. You promised to bring me back something nice to add to my outfit for the Warner Bros. charity event next month.” She recalled the promise that you did in-fact make to cease her tantrum at the time. 

“ And on top of that, I’m also the one silk pressing your hair for this trip, ma’am. AND taking care of my fur nephew that you’re abandoning as well. Therefore,  I DESERVE SOMETHING.” She added. 

“ This is true.” Phoebe co-signed, continuing to flip through the pages. 

You cut your eyes at her when you entered the room again to walk a pair of shoes over to your bursting suitcase.

“ Yeah. Yeah. I’ll make sure to bring you back something for your pain and suffering. Brat.” You muttered the last part. “ AND fyi his hair is black now.” 

Alex grinned while blowing you an air kiss that you grab and pretend to smush in your hands. 

“ You know you LUHHHHH me, girl.” She teased. “ Now hurry up because I don’t have all night to do this. I don’t know why you didn’t just get braids or some passion twists put in like a normal person going on a trip .” 

“ What’s love got to do with it?” You sassed. In return you were met with a pillow to the side and giggles around the room. “ And don’t rush me! I’m almost done.” 

“ What time is Austin supposed to be coming to get you from the airport? Phoebe questioned. 

“ Noon.” You answered fighting to try and fit a scarf into your luggage. “ My flight leaves at noon and I should be there by evening. I’m not exactly sure when, I just know their three hours ahead. 

“ Okay. Cool, just make sure you let us know when you’re in the car and everything. “ Phoebe noted.

You scoff, “Like yall asses won’t be watching me on 360 anyway. Stalkers.” 

“ Hey! You should be happy that somebody cares enough to stalk your ass. People go missing everyone, B.” Alex mocked the line from Paid in Full. 

“ Yeah. I know. I do the same thing with ya’ll.” You huffed, “ Okay. I think that’s it.” 

“ Good! “ Alex jumped up, “ Now go and grab my hair bag. So we can start on this head, honey. All this dang hair.” She looked at the long blow dried mess on your head. 

“ I know damn well that is not a damn hot comb.” You deadpanned. 

“ Do you want the hair straight or not? We have heat protectant, so relax. Whenever we both get back I’ll come over and we can do a treatment to make sure your curls revert back right. I got this. Now tilt your head down..” 

Phoebe giggled watching the two of you fuss at one another, “ Yeah you better sleep pretty tonight, babes. Head on hands, silk scarf, and turn a fan on so you don’t sweat.”

“ I'm aware.” You sighed, settling into the chair and began to listen to Phoebe as she started her descent into her plans while you would be away.

“ OW! ” You jumped at the sudden sharp burning feeling on your scalp, “ Alex really.”

“ I barely touched you! It’s the steam.” She giggled at the scrunch on your face, “ Hehe. My bad.” 

______

The Next Day…

After a couple goodbyes to your fur baby and helping your driver wrestle your large suitcase into the back of the car Austin had sent for you against your wishes, you found yourself tiredly weaving about through LAX. 

You’d already pre-checked everything, so once you went through security and went to make sure your gate existed, you’d found a very overpriced coffee place and ordered a little danish and iced chai to settle the nerves.

It wasn’t until you were in a seat by the terminal happily scrolling away on your phone that you got a text message from Austin. 

Sweet Baboo: can’t wait to see you. enjoy your flight. love you. :3

Once you boarded, the flight had been fine and you’d done exactly what was predicted of you.

You’d read for a good couple of hours and then slept a good chunk of the rest of it. The flight was smooth with no delays.

When the pilot announced your descent, anticipation began to build up in your chest

Quickly you pulled out the mini mirror from your carry on bag and went to fix your minimal makeup and undid the head scarf on your head to reveal the flowy silk press that fell down your shoulders. You combed it out and fixed your little cute airport outfit in preparation to get off.

Seeing as you were in first class, against your wishes also,  you were one of the first to exit the plane. You made it to baggage claim where a nice older gentleman with a sign had begun setting your luggage up for you on a cart and offered to push it down to the terminal.

“ For Miss Y/L/N.” He’d smiled.

“ Yes, I’m her.” You nodded. 

“ Wonderful I’ll be helping you with your luggage. Compliments of a Mr. Sweet Baboo.” He told you with a grin on his face.

You stifled a part of your laugh as the two of you began walking through the airport, “ Did he really ask you to say that? “ 

He nodded, “ Yes, He did. But I don’t mind. One of the more milder things I’ve been asked to say in my time doing this job.” 

“ I can only imagine.” You laughed. 

“ Quite cold outside. But you look bundled up.” The man smiled.

“ Oh yeah. It’s the Sahara in here. I think the breeze will actually help cool me down.” 

The sharp chill of the evening wind swiped at the little exposed patches of your face as you made it to the extremely congested pick up and drop off area. It felt near impossible to try and find which car belonged to your boyfriend in the sea of what felt like a thousand black SUVs littering the street.

It wasn’t until you spotted a familiar head of slicked back raven hair stuck out one window that you recognized your boyfriend as he made his way out the car.

A squeal unintentionally left you and Austin smiled a mile wide as he opened his arms up to you, “ There’s my girl.” He laughed, catching your body that was flung into him. “ Hey there. Mr. Sweet Baboo.” You giggled into his neck, placing a kiss there.

He’d taken his time unlatching you from him until he offered to quickly help the man load the trunk since he’d spotted what he believed to be the shine of a camera in the distance. 

You didn’t have time to breathe once you both were inside and the door shut. The partition was already rolled up and once the car started to move, and so did Austin’s lips against yours. Your body had suddenly felt like it was on fire with a flame that only he could put out. 

Your hands were attached to his face while his own were free to roam the parts of your body he’d missed in his absence. 

A small moan escaped you at the sensation of his hand kneading your thigh under his touch and pulling you further into him to the point of being in his lap now. 

“ Fuck, I missed you, Baby.” He groaned.

“ Not as much as I missed you.” You mumbled in-between kisses, hands feverishly grabbing at anything on his body that would keep him tethered to you. 

He smiled into your lips, “ Is that a challenge? Because believe me, before this car even hits the main streets I can prove that I missed you most.” He whispers, hand sliding to rest just under your abdomen. Your breath hitches and the most indecent thoughts begin to pool around in your brain. 

You giggled feeling his fingers sliding up your cardigan, “ Okay..okay..okay. I believe you.” 

“ I can’t wait to get you home, all to myself.” His words came out muffled, but had all the same effect as you found yourself pacing your breath and clenching your legs together. 

“ You look cold, sweetheart. Let me warm you up.” 

The ride had been agonizingly long with Austin teasing you every chance you got. 

When the two of you arrived at Austin’s brownstone, your eyes couldn’t register just how beautiful it looked from the outside. Almost like something you’d see in movies like Autumn in New York or Maid in Manhattan. 

“ Aus it’s beautiful.” You mumbled out taking in the glistening snow that littered the cement steps beyond the black steel gate.

“ Thank you. Can’t wait to get you inside of it.” He smiled, pecking your lips before getting out.

To your protests, he’d gotten all of your bags himself and took them inside as you huffed and whined, “ I wanna help! It’s my stuff. Aus! It’s too cold for you to be out here doing this by yourself.” 

“ Nope. Just get your cute ass in the house. ” You rolled your eyes at his smug grin.

The minute you stepped inside the foyer of the home Austin had literally swept you off your feet, dipping his face into your neck to administer kisses. 

You laugh and thrash in his arms the entire way to his gorgeous couch, ridding yourselves of your coats. 

“ So, first, “  He plopped down next to you, instantly reaching his arms out to pull your body into his lap. “ Are you hungry? I know you didn’t eat on the plane. And before we do anything else I wanna get you fed if need be.” 

“ No, not really. “ You leaned back against him, “ I think I’m just hyped up on the adrenaline of getting to see you.”

“ Yeah me too.” A finger traced along your neck just where your hair fell past, , “ Damn. Look at your hair. I knew it was long, but I’ve never seen it like this. It’s beautiful.” 

“ Thanks. I wanted something a little more manageable since our itinerary is a bit packed. It’s not big and unruly like usual.” You played with your ends. 

“ Stop it.” He scolded, “  Big? Yes. Unruly? No. I love your hair in its natural state babe. It’s cute. I love watching you take care of it. It reminds me to stay up on my shit.” 

“ Yeah, no 2 in 1 conditioner for you buddy.” You reached to pick at one of his dark locks close to his ear. It was still taking some getting used to. 

“ Hey.” He turned to nip at your hand, “ There wasn’t any 2 in 1 shampoo before you and there damn sure won’t be any now that I’ve been exposed to the good life.”

And a good life it was! You’d exposed Austin to all the skin care, shea butter, oil pulling, essential oils and everything else needed and now mysteriously you had products coming up empty all the time.

“ I know babe I’m just teasing. Excited for this weekend with you.” 

“ So am I. Gonna’ feel good spending time with my girl. Kinda miss my little buddy though. “

“ I know me too.” You pout, “ But I promise you he’s living his best life with his Aunt Alex. He’s already had a pup cup, two treats, and last I knew was taking a nap in her office on a pile of heated blankets.” 

“ You’re going home to a diva, baby.” He smirked, imagining the little dog buried in blankets fast asleep. “ So, back to this itinerary that was mentioned.” 

“ Yes! It goes by day to optimize experiences and time.“ You pronounced proudly, bouncing on the couch.

“ Really? “ 

“ Truly. I wanna make the most of our time together.” You replied. 

“ Okay, do tell. “ His eyebrows raised in amusement, “ What’s on today? “

“ Today’s agenda is light because it’s the first day and I already knew I’d be tired. So the only two major things on the list are having dinner with my Sweet Baboo and unpacking.” 

“ Nice! And we can make all that happen. Let’s take a look at the other days.” 

And you did, together you examined the well planned and thought out itinerary in front of you.

He nodded , “ Looks good. We may have to make a couple of adjustments if that’s okay with you. I have some surprises in store.” 

“ Ouuu! What?! Tell me.” You practically bounced in his lap. 

He smiled, “ If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise then, would it.”

“ Not even a hint.” You whine, slightly puckering your lips, and playfully batting your mascaraed eyelashes. 

“ No. Nuh uh. Not gonna happen. But you’re cute though, baby.” He pecked your lips.

You groan, “ Fine! On second thought I am hungry. Feed me seymour.” You goofed trying to imitate the rich voice of Levi Stubbs. 

The lines of his lips curl, “ C’’mon then Audrey II. You can keep me company while I start dinner.” 

And you did just that perched on a chair at the island while the two of you made small talk.

“ That can’t be all.” He softly laughed, “ I haven’t seen you and I wanna really know how my girl is doing? Tell me. I know there's something.”

“ I mean there really isn’t much to tell, baby. I told you. It’s just been work..writing…Magnus..and missing you.”

“ How about that lease? “ Austin said, rolling out the dough in front of you.

Your shoulders tensed, “ What about it?” 

“ You talk to your building manager about whether you're renewing or not this spring, yet? ” He inquired about your plans for your apartment, which was really his not so subtle way of asking if you’d thought anymore about his offer to move in with him after Elvis was estimated to wrap this summer.

Although you and Austin had been together for almost six months at this point, you weren’t exactly sure if you were completely ready for that kind of commitment yet. Granted when the projected time of wrapping would come around the two of you would be coming up on a year, you still had some things holding you back about the whole ordeal.

“ It’s on the to - do - list…” You stretched, “One of the many adult things to eventually be handled.” 

“ Uh huh. I see. “ He mused,” Well like I said before. I wouldn’t mind coming home to you and Magnus every night. And when I’m home you're either always at my place or vice versa. In my eyes it would just make sense.” Austin explained. 

Your hands fidget with the brown place mat in front of you, “ I hear you and I understand, babe. And I promise I’m really taking all of this into heavy consideration. “ You settled. 

“ Good, I can live with that. Now get up, come over here and help me by cutting the sheath on these asparagus.” Austin instructed, while heating up his rosemary and pepper butter mix in his skillet.

Your eyes widened at the opportunity to help, while you could cook you were unashamed to say that you had hard limitations of what you could and couldn’t make. Whereas Austin on the other-hand was practically a chef with the way he could make his assortment of dishes. Which in turn made him the primary cook of the relationship while you were always happy to be captain of the clean up crew. 

“ Oh yay. I get to help.” You hopped up, “ And you're going to let me use a knife! Sick! “ 

Now becoming skeptical, Austin cocked his head rethinking his offer of a sous chef position, “ On second thought maybe you should stick to being my honorary taste tester. Quite good at that job, peaches.” 

“ Nope. I’m helping. “ You rolled up your sleeves, “ Now prepare to see some clean beautifully mutilated asparagus, babe. “ 

“ Jesus.” Austin groaned, placing the steaks in the sizzling pan.

______

Your dinner of sirloin, seared asparagus, garlic and herb mash potatoes, and bread you couldn’t pronounce right was absolutely splendid. 

And now being presented in-front of you was just the dessert to top the night off: A thick and nice slice of strawberry drizzled NY cheesecake.

Favorite of yours.

As you began to indulge in your sweet treat you teased yourself by wondering if there was any way the night could possibly get better. 

Then it hit you…you could knock one of your tomorrow's itenary items off tonight without any worry.

So, yes. It definitely could. 

“ You know what would be really good, right now.” You mused aloud at the island. 

Still turned Austin asked, “ And what would that be, sweetheart? “ He continued loading the dishwasher. 

“ A nice hot relaxing bath. “ 

“ Uh huh.“ He sounded

Grabbing the towel off the stove handle, Austin walked over to the island to lean in. 

“ Okay. “ He simply said, “ Your wish is my command.” 

“ Really? “ You nervously scraped your fork against your plate.

“ Of course. This trip  is all about you. So, if the best girl wants to end the evening with a bath. Then it’s my job to make it happen.” He washed his hands. 

“ Just stay here and finish your dessert. And then come up. Alright? “ He instructed, coming around to stand in front of you, taking your face into his face.

“ Okay. “ You nodded.

He returned the gesture and placed a chaste kiss to your forehead on his way out before heading upstairs. 

You could hear the faint sounds of water running as you struggled to calm your weirdly nervous stomach and finish your dessert. 

By the time you made it up stairs and into the bathroom the lights were dimmed and  the aroma of jasmine bath salts and vanilla bubble bath filled your senses.

You weren’t spooked when you felt him appear behind you. 

“ Let me take this off of you.” His fingers danced along the curves of your side as his hands moved along to lift your shirt over your head. 

You sucked in tiny breaths the rest of the time he took to undress you. Ever so often you’d catch his eyes and smile, turning away to blush.

Once you were as naked as the day you were born, he gently helped you step into the creme claw foot tub.

“ You wanna get in? “ You sheepishly grinned.   “ Plenty of room.” Kicking up your feet over the side to expose the suds and bubbles that dripped down your legs.

Knowing that he’d already restrained himself while helping you undress, Austin wasn’t too sure he’d be able to handle any accidental slips of the hand or touching by any means without immediately yanking you out the bath and into the bedroom for some extremely intentional touching of his own to you.

“ No, I’m okay. This is about you. So, enjoy your bath, babe.” He smiled leaning over to grab at the loofa.

, “ Stop it. You’re fine.” Austin playfully scolded, watching the pout spread on your face.

“ If you want we can both sit on opposite sides. “ You offered just as a lightbulb went off in your brain, “ OH! Or you could lay with your back against my chest and my arms around you like Vivan and Edward in Pretty Woman. I’ve actually always wanted to do that.” You confessed your little fantasy. 

“ Plus. You did say this weekend was about me.” You moved to place your hands on the tub and rest your head on them, “ And what I want right now is for you to come in here with me. Now,“ 

Austin’s cheeks warmed in affection and amusement as he watched a twinkle appear in your eye at the idea of getting to live out another one of your little rom-com fantasies. And how you’d suddenly gotten a bit bold in your request. 

He sat there for a moment contemplating when ultimately he decided who would he be if he couldn’t be the person to fulfill your fantasies and desires. 

He blew out air, “ Fine. I’ll be the Edward to your Vivan, babe. But just know the accidental touching and moving needs to be kept to a minimum. “ You watched as he stood up to pull his shirt above his head and shimmy his pants. “ I mean it. I am a man of virtue after all, honey. A delicate flower you could say. So, I expect to be treated as such.” He teased.

You didn’t have a smart remark to quip back at him because your mind and eyes had both been polluted with the images of him bare before you in all his glory.

Instead you mustered a playful cat call, “ Yeah take it off! Look at those cheeks! “ 

All Austin could do was smile and shake his head as he walked over and maneuvered himself to get in and sink in between your legs. Your arms found a home around his shoulders and your lips made quick work of placing innocent enough kisses to his skin in places you knew may be less…inflammatory than others.

And you could tell by the low and almost soulful groan Austin let out once he was fully  submerged in the calm of the warm water that this was something he needed too. “ Feels good..” He mumbled letting his head back to rest in the valley of your naked breasts. 

“ Good.” You replied, as you too were enjoying the warm intimacy of the atmosphere. 

“ We don’t do this enough at home.” Austin sounded as you used the soft silicone loofah to scrub and wash his chest.

“ What? “

“ Relaxing…soaking like this.” He rubbed at your knee that was exposed out of the water. 

 “ I agree.” 

“ So..” He squeezed the sponge he’d grabbed and dipped into the water on your back, “ You excited for tomorrow? “

You nodded, “ I am. I’ve visited here once on a family trip and another time for a work thing. But I’ve always felt like I’ve never gotten the true experience. And since Aunt Kiki lives here now I’ve been wanting to visit her. But of course she’s away on a work trip this time of year.”

“ Mhmm.” A hum can from Austin as you move your hand lower.

“ Watch yourself.” Austin mumbled, grabbing that hand to interlock it with his. 

And you did, you made it a point to keep your hands clear of the southern equator of your man. That was until you felt him let guard with a sigh and push back into you. 

This was the moment you took your opportunity.

A breath hitched, “ Y/N…what are you doing? I thought I made it very clear the stipulations of this arrangement. “ 

You crane your head down to rest your lips just above the shell of his ear as your hand continues to move toward its desired destination. 

He tensed against you when you went to lightly grip at his now half-hard cock in your hand. You moved it up and down a bit before stopping and using the pad of your thumb to quickly run across his tip.

Involuntarily Austin lets out a small hiss at the sensation, “ Alright, that’s enough of that. “ He hand comes to try and halt yours. But you use your leg to stop him.

Instead you ignored him, keeping your attention focused on guiding your hand to stroke him up and down. The water of the tub has begun to sway from the movement, “ I’m not done.” You whispered in his ear.  “ You said this weekend was about making me feel good.” 

Your tongue darts out to lick and bite at his ear,  “ You wanna know what would make me good? 

“ Yes.” His answer sounded strained against his voice. By now he’d ever so slightly begun to move his hips upward into your hand, beginning to get lost in the sensation of his touch.

“ What would make me good right now is for you to be a good boyfriend and cum all over my hand for me.” You say, mindful to increase the pace of your hand. “ Please can I have it, baby. Will you give it to me? Will you give your cum, baby? “ 

“ Oh fuck.” Austin’s head dives back against your breast and his eyes are tightly shut as his  body begins to become overwhelmed with pleasure. Your words doing something to him, of course he’d heard you be verbal during exchanges, but never like this. “ I’ll give you anything you want.” He groaned. 

“ That good, Aus? “ You used your free hand to come from its place on his chest, to grip at his chin and guide his head to loll to the side. It gives you access to attach your lips to his in what could only be described as a sloppy exchange of love. You swallowed his grunts and groans in your throat while he allowed your soft whimpers to enclose his lips. 

By now the water of the tub began to slosh with bits beginning to fly out of the tub and onto the floor from the impact of Austin’s hips coming to meet the pace of your hand.

He reluctantly forced his mouth away from yours, saliva collected on his cheeks. “ Fuck, just like that. Baby you’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing this.” 

“ Yeah? That’s what I want, baby. Give it to me, Aus. Show me how much you missed my touch, baby.” You moaned dipping your head to suck on skin you’d long ago identified on his neck to be his “ sweet spot.”

With that he couldn’t contain himself anymore and you watched as his face contorted into a beautiful display of pleasure and angst,  his eyelashes fluttered as he shot his thick ropes of cum in your hand. You keep stroking him through it until a hand shoots out to stop you. This time it succeeded as you ceased your movement, and watched his chest heave up and down.

Your hand rubs at his shoulder to help ground him and bring him back to you.

After a couple of minutes with a huff he speaks, “ Was this your plan all along? To get me in this position, baby. So you could use me this way, as your play thing?  “ He accuses. 

“ Guilty.” You whispered, thinking about how this all was in-fact a long game in getting him here. You knew had it been in the bedroom or anywhere else he would have undermined your advances and made your own pleasure the main focus as usual. But you figured that if you could essentially “ trap him “ into a smaller more controlled environment where you could take the reins a bit, you could finally have a moment to adore your boyfriend the way he always makes sure to adore you. 

“ What am I gonna do with you?” He groans and you smile, placing a kiss on his head. 

Eventually with no more funny business involved, you both take turns cleaning each other off before he gets out and wraps a towel around his waist. And then comes back for you, plucking your wet body out of the water. 

Routines are done and pajamas are thrown on quickly before he ushers you both to lay in the big king size bed. 

You relish the opportunity to sleep in his arms after so long. It seemed like it’d been a day and forever. When really it’d been about five and a half weeks. 

“ Quite the little show you put on there in the bathroom.” He whispered.

“ What can I say, I missed seeing the faces you make like that in person. All those facetime calls just don’t do those flushed cheeks or sweet strangled moans justice,baby. Needed to see it.” You shot back, and went to lightly play at the dip in his shoulder.

“ I see we’ve grown quite bold in my absence.” He muttered, trailing his eyes to your thigh that peaked out from the slightly raised shirt.

 “ So what about me? When do I get my own personal refresher of your moans and the way your body arches off the bed when I use my fingers to touch your spot? “ 

At his words, you could feel your heartbeat begin to race and the all too familiar aching and yearning you’d been feeling throughout your body return.

“ I don’t know. I haven’t felt like that in a while. I’m not as good as you with my hands, baby. “ You casually say.

“ Well. I don’t particularly plan on using my hands tonight. I’ve got a bit of a different approach since we’re so eager to try out new things. “ He said.

And then he said something that knocked the wind out of your chest.

“ Instead I want you to come and sit that pretty pussy on my face.” 

It would take you many moments and labored breaths of shock before you mustered up your bewildered response, “ You want me to what?! “ 

“ You heard me.” Austin laughed from underneath you. You were straddling his lap while he lay flat on the bed and you were pretty sure that maybe he wasn’t getting enough oxygen down there as it was.

“ Aus. You can’t be serious. I-I’m not a Polly Pocket sized girly, babe. I have a nice amount of meat on these here bones.” You countered, “ I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“ What? You don’t think I can handle you? Is that it? “ His voice purred, fingers dancing up along the curve of your spine. 

“ Of course not! “ You clarified, “ It’s just that…that.” You huffed trying to gather the right words together.  “ I want you to be able to breathe , babe. HOW WILL YOU BREATHE?! “ 

You watched his face turn in amusement at your flustered state, “ Don’t you worry about that, babe. I’m a big boy. I’ll figure it out. And if not…. when they find me you tell them I died happy and stuffed in-between the sweetest place on earth.” He said, immediately you felt your cheeks flush, “ These thighs.”

“ AUS! “ You softly slapped at his chest, “ Be serious.” 

He laughed ,“ I am. They’ll find me with a permanent glistening smile.” 

You groaned trying to shimmy off of him but his hands at your sides stopped you. “ Uh huh. From when good ole’ Rick and Mortis set in.” 

“ I’m not asking again, darling. “ You yelped when he grabbed your thighs and moved you further up his chest, close to your neck, “ Get up here.” 

“ But Aus I- “ You cut yourself off with moan when you felt his hand come to fondle at your breast. 

“ What was that? I’m sorry I may not have caught that.”

“ I-w-well-” 

He had your virgin ass absolutely flustered. 

“ Take em’ off. I want em’ off of you.” He mumbled,scooting you further and tugging at your night shorts. 

Obliging, you somehow managed to rid yourself of your shorts and his shirt. At that moment it took all the courage not to fold right there. 

You leaned forward against the pretty dark wood headboard to grip at its edges in a fair attempt at stabilizing yourself in your squat. 

The plan had been to lower yourself down nice and slow, but leave it to your boyfriend to be an absolutely impatient brat to knock the wind out of you by slamming you down against his face. 

You went to make a remark of protest but soon found that the second his tongue touched you, you’d been left unable to form long coherent sentences. A simple moan of, “ Austin!” Was all that was mustered. 

He groans as he begins to eagerly lap and lick at your drenched pussy. The vibration alone makes you tighten your grip. 

Using his hands he bares down pressing you further into him as you cry out from this new intense feeling. He's calculated with how he uses his tongue to tease the entrance of your opening before gliding it back to suckle at your poor throbbing clit. 

The more and more sucks, the more your juices uncontrollably leak from you, until now the sounds of lewd slurping and your moans come together to echo off the walls. 

“  That feels so good.” You mewl, unable to control how you begin to grind your pussy against his face. 

He lifts up a little bit to mumble, “ Yeah? Am I making this pussy cry with my tongue? She talking to me, honey?” He sends a long lick up your slit making you jump. 

“ Yes! Your tongue is so good, baby. It feels so good.” You cried out. 

You could practically feel him smile into your pussy when he closed the gap, obviously satisfied with desensitizing you this way. 

From there he really started to lay into you, when he laid his tongue completely flat on your clit you couldn’t help the pleas that spilled from your mouth, “ Yes! Yes! Yes! Just like that! Aus, PLEASE.” You began riding his face with more urgency. 

A hand came to smack and grip at your ass to help you with your motion, by now your stomach had begun to build up into that all too familiar knot of delicious agony. 

“ Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! “ You squealed, “ Aus I’m close! I gotta get up.” You tried scrambling off him and out of his grip, out of fear he truly wouldn’t be able to breathe from how hard you were about to flood his face. 

Little did you know that was all the motivation he needed to go harder, using his tongue and mouth to take a grip on your clit that outta to be illegal. He sent a series of smacks to your exposed ass to let you know that you had better not go anywhere. 

Tears sprang in your eyes, “ I-I. It’s too much! “ 

You white knuckled the headboard as your body began to heat up and spark with your impending orgasm. “ Aus I’m about to cum all over your fucking face!” 

“ That’s it, baby. Let go for me.” He moaned out against you. 

Gripping your ass harder he helped grind you faster against his tongue until he felt your body begin convulsing above him, “ I’m fucking cumming! Aus! Yes! Yes! Yes! “ You hissed, feeling the floodgates overtake you. 

After cleaning you up with a couple more licks and slurps, he catches your limp body and gently lowers you to lay next to him. 

Through hazy pleasure ridden eyes you look over to see that previously mentioned glistening smile set across his face as he lays triumphantly next to you!

You feel the bed dip as he disappears into the bathroom and returns with two damp towels: one for you and one for him. 

He goes to really clean you up before hoisting you in his arms and carrying you to the bathroom to pee. 

After everything is said and done, he brings a now sleepy you into his chest, arms creating a warm cage of comfort, “ So, will I be doing that again this weekend?” His hands rub your back. 

You nod and he smiles, “ That good? “ 

Voice cracking you whisper back, “ Could you not tell by the way I left Lake Erie on your face that it was fuckin’ amazing.” 

“ Just checking. “ He laughed, “ Next time we’ll try for the Mississippi, yeah?” 

_____

Next Day

Madison Square Garden 

New York Rangers vs Philadelphia Flyers Game 

“ I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I’ve always wanted to go to one of these.” You squealed looking out at the crisp white ice while you were surrounded by thousands of other people.

Cup of water in hand and popcorn in lap, you’d dressed in thick wool lined jeans , a Flyers jersey, converse, and had your baseball cap to the back in spirit of your first time seeing a Flyers game in person. 

Austin laughed and took a sip of the wine he’d gotten. “ I’m glad we’re enjoying ourselves. I keep forgetting you told me you were a little hockey fan. Would have never guessed.”

You laugh, “ Yeah. When I was little my Aunt dated the guy who did the sound at the games for the Blue Jackets so we always got tickets. She’d go and take us up on the weekends and I can remember just always having the best time. Ever since I’ve become quite fond of hockey. The smell of the wet ice when they redo it, the chill of the arena, the way the glass rattles when the players zip by. I love it.” 

Austin noticed the way you hadn’t taken your eyes off the ice the entire time you were talking about this little passion of yours. A smile passed his face in satisfaction that he’d learned something new about you. For most of the rest of the time he got more pleasure from watching you watch the game then actually paying attention to what was going on himself. 

The way your nose scrunched when a shot was missed, your little squeals when your team regained the puck, and even how you held your own and  weren’t afraid to get back with surrounding audience members who may have said something to you out of the way.

This was hockey after all.

By the time halftime rolled around you were content at watching your favorite little segments. 

Kid of the game, celeb look alike, and your personal favorite: The Kiss Cam. 

The cliche track by Sixpence None The Richer echoed throughout the arena as you watched couples old and young peck each other and giggle for the camera.

It warmed your heart, but what happened next made it drop to your ass and roll onto the ice.

Because suddenly, your face made up in about a million pixels on the big kiss cam screen, there you and your grinning boyfriend were on display for the whole world.

People around you had begun to cheer and you could see Austin’s face was turning a shade of candy apple red. 

“ Aus.” You whispered, half covering our face.  The encouragement and cheering only grew louder and you felt Austin’s hand come to remove yours from your face. “ Hey. C’mon we can’t let everyone else have all the fun.” 

“ Just pretend it’s you and I. Only us. Okay?” He whispered, taking your face into his hands. 

You nodded and took a deep breath closing your eyes with a mixture of excitement and nerves pinging through you as your lips connected with his in a sweet little innocent kiss. 

The whoops and cheers intensified around you and when you pulled away you saw the wide smile Austin had his arm around your waist and you both waved to the camera one last time. 

After you were off Austin wrapped his arms around you, placing a kiss on your head, “ Always wanted to kiss a pretty girl on one of those things. Never thought I’d ever get the guts to do it.  Guess dreams come true.“ He laughed.  

You could still feel your heart pounding in your chest a bit thinking about how you’d replay that moment in your head for who knew how long to come, “ Yeah. They really do, they really do.” 

He placed a kiss on your hand and the both of you returned your attention back to the screen just as an older couple appeared. 

Eventually after some shouting, another small bag of popcorn, and twenty autographs from Austin to some fans later, the game was over, the Flyers beat the Rangers, and the two of you happily walked along to the car. 

“ Home for a nap. “ Austin suggested. 

“ Yes Please.” You yawned, feeling the excitement of the day beginning to catch up with you. 

______

Austin’s Brownstone - 8:23pm 

“ Well, Good Evening sleepy-head.” Austin greeted your groggy figure as you sat up with a pile of blankets sliding from you. 

“ Evening?! “ You yawned while looking around at the dimming sky outside the big bay window in the living room. “ My gosh, babe. How long did you let me sleep? What time is it? Don’t we have reservations? “  

You looked over to the loveseat where Austin had his feet propped up with a book in hand.

“ Woah. “ He held up a hand, “ Slow down. Take a breath.”

“ I let you sleep because you needed to rest, Babe. It’s about eight-twenty five right now and I called and canceled the reservations we had because truth be told I’m a little tired too. “ 

Your bottom lip stuck out and you went to protest but he held up a hand. 

“ So, instead I thought maybe you’d want to order in. Your choice. Thai, Italian, Mexican…”  He threw out the options. Nothing sounds good.

“ Do you know any good sandwich places? “ 

______

Forty five minutes and two wrapped hero sandwiches later…

“ Two-truths and one lie go.” You randomly said, reaching for one of his fries. 

“ Hmm. Alright. Well, I once shared the same production lot with Beyoncé and met her. “ He began, “ Two, I used to come home every single day in elementary school to eat lunch with my mother, and I once played a sad tree in my acting group’s play when I was younger..” 

You threw up your grease ridden hands, “ Automatically I'm gonna assume that the Beyonce thing is unfortunately untrue because I don’t think you would’ve held out on me like that. And I’m almost positive from that picture your sister showed that you were a sad bird in that play. So,I don’t know…maybe the lunch thing. I wouldn’t think an elementary school would let a kid walk home like that? Right? “ 

Austin smiled, “ Well my dear. Unfortunately this one you’d be wrong because all through elementary school I did in fact have a standing lunch appointment with my mother everyday.” He revealed.

“ Really?! And the school just let you go? “ 

He nodded, “ Yeah. We started doing it because of how shy I was. I couldn't really make friends at that age because of it, so sometimes it was hard being in school. Everyone knew everyone in town so the walk home and back was a breeze. We always ate P & J’s and watched cartoons or old westerns.” He recalled the fond memories. “ I know with work and other things at the time I’m sure her doing it wasn’t exactly ideal, but she still always made it work.” 

Your heart swelled for him as you reached out to rub his shoulder.

“ Awe, Austin, that sounds so sweet. She seemed amazing. “ 

“ Yeah, she was.” He sighed, “ She really was.” 

“ Wish I’d had a mom like that.” You sighed, “ I wish I would have had a mom period. “ 

As soon as the words left your mouth and you saw the look on Austin’s face, you instantly felt embarrassed. 

It wasn’t like Austin didn’t know about your situation, it just wasn’t something that you had in-depth discussed before. And you also really weren’t trying to make this seem about you either. It was just a little slip of word vomit.

You backtracked, “ I mean I do have a Mom. Just, it’s rather I just…have no idea where she is. Sorta…” 

Noticing you were about to say more but held yourself back, Austin encouraged you to continue, “ Hey. It’s alright. Tell me.” 

“ Okay well. From what I know, my Aunt said after I turned a year my mother wasn’t really around much. Started going out and hanging around with friends all hours of the night, and she just really didn’t seem that interested in Gracie and me anymore. Even disappeared for days at a time.” 

“ She left my Dad a note one night. On it she explained that she couldn’t imagine another day of being a mother. Specifically she said that it was draining something out of her that she was afraid she’d never get back. That we’d all be better off without her being there, herself included.” 

 “ I was only a year and some change and Gracie was almost five. And Dad did the best he could raising two girls by himself. He didn’t date much or anything really. Just was a devoted GM Plant worker and an even more devoted Dad.” 

“ A couple years later he found out that she’d remarried, moved to a part of Spain, and had more children. So, he made the decision to go to court and officially file for full custody of us. Which she didn’t contest, naturally.” You continued, “ I don’t think he ever really got over it, unfortunately.” 

“ He never talked about her at all.  And when he passed away when I was thirteen from congestive heart failure we went to live with our grandmother in Georgia. Gracie graduated and decided to move to Texas to pursue a career in public service. And after graduation I got a scholarship to Arizona State, so my grandmother moved and then decided to travel the world.” 

“ If you don’t mind me asking, has she ever tried to reach out? “ Austin questioned. 

You nodded, “ Only once. Not to me though.” You clarified.

“  When Gracie got married. Somehow she’d found Gracie’s address and sent a letter. Gracie read it but never responded. And she never told me what the letter said either. Her silent way of still protecting her little sister. I guess.” 

“ Would you have wanted to know what it said? “ 

“ I don't really know. Maybe? Maybe not? “  You answered. “ She wrote it just to Gracie. So, I'm sure there’s a reason for that.” 

“ Being honest….” You started feeling your lip begin to quiver and eyes water at the incoming thought. “ I always wondered if I was the reason she left? Like maybe I was hard to take care of or if carrying me did something negative to her. I-I *sniffle* It doesn’t sound like she wanted to leave when she had Gracie, so why after me? Why didn’t she stay? “ 

Your vision had full on fuzzied out now and your cheeks were slick with tears, turning his head to look at you all Austin could do was feel his heart ache. 

He tried to reach out  but you instinctively moved away trying to cover your face, “ Don’t. It’s fine.” Your voice cracked. 

He frowned, “ No it’s not, babe. You’re upset. My best girl is crying. Nothing is ever fine when my best girl is crying. It’s very far from fine actually.” He fussed moving toward you still. 

“ Hey.” He cooed, while reaching over to gently grab you and pull you onto his body, “ Hey. Shhh. It’s okay. Let it out.” He encouraged, rubbing your back and placing a kiss to your head as small sobs still escaped you. 

A hand went to your head to hold against him as he offered you all of his love and comfort.

After a while you’d began to settle and quiet at the warm feeling of being enveloped in his arms and calmed by his words. He hated that you were feeling this way. In situations like this it truly made Austin appreciate his mother, he couldn’t have imagined ever having any other maternal experience then what he had. He wished everyone could have had that. 

“ Hey, look at me.” He cupped your face and wiped at the tears while you sniffled, “ Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, sweetheart.” 

“ I’m lucky to have you in my life.” He affirmed while making sure your eye contact never broke, tears forming in his.  “ You hear me? I love you.” 

You nodded, clinging to his shirt, “ I love you too, Austin.” 

He smiled, “ Of course. Snot and all.” He teased making you giggle and shriek away from him. 

He went to lean over and hand you the tissue box he’d snatched.

“ Now, let’s get into bed. How about a shower and a movie? Any movie you want.”

At this declaration you perked, “ Any movie? “ 

Now a bit skeptical, Austin still nodded, “ Any movie.” 

______

“ Okay, I changed my mind. Any movie but this one.” He groaned.

“ Austin.” You mirrored his groan. 

“ Fine.” He mumbled dragging you into his arms as the beginning of Lilo and Stitch played on the screen.

“ You really like this movie, huh? “ Austin chuckled into your headscarf. 

“ It’s my favorite! I was obsessed when I was little. I had a lilo and stitch lunch box, bed set, and all kinds of stuff.” You explained.’

“ And have you ever been to Hawaii? “

“ Nu uh. Haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe one day.” 

“ Uh huh.” Austin yawned.

Maybe one day real soon…

[hermitw]

I think Sukuna might be the best representation of DID in fiction.

after rereading the manga again, I might have a longer analysis [edit to add: check my Sukuna's DID or 4th manga read tags for more] on Sukuna's DID (dissociative identity disorder / multiple personalities). this post is going to have some manga spoilers, but focus mostly on what's been animated.

there are a lot of in-depth analysis on Sukuna's trauma and what they could have been, so I won't speculate about it here [this post linked some that still rotate in my brain]. but what is clear is that Sukuna has severe trauma, which is what causes DID. You can't be born with multiple personalities. it's like a mirror breaking, the mind compartmentalizes in order to survive. your reflection is still yours, but the pieces reflect your face at different angles. (I hope this makes sense, I'll reply to comments / asks if anything needs to be clarified.)

I'm not an expert in this, I just have 9 years of coming to understand and work with my own, and while I'm down to answer questions about DID, for the sake of this post, let's focus on Sukuna with a bit of background knowledge.

Here’s a short little glossary of terms that will come up:

alter: the word “alter” can be controversial to them. I use the word “alter” typically to describe one that we don’t know much about, or to generalize.

Headmate: an alter with familiarity, camaraderie, one who is easier to understand and work with. “Headmate” tends to be the preferred term for themselves.

personality: a vague term that I use if I'm not sure whether the personality is an alter, or just a way of behaving.

(this is just so I have clarity when speaking about alters/headmates/personalities, this is not an official guide.)

In the end, every alter/headmate is like a roommate, just sharing the same body instead of the same apartment.

System: this includes all of someone’s alters/headmates.

Multiple: someone who has DID.

Fronting: the alter in the driver’s seat/front of the car - if they’re the one moving around, speaking to another person, going for a walk, etc, they’re the one fronting.

Co-fronting: Two or more alters/headmates are in the front. Working together on the same task, or having disagreements, trying to do different things. Just meaning that they are both in the front of the car.

I hesitated to write this, thinking that I needed to reread JJK and pay close attention to Sukuna, the expression in all his eyes, etc. and take lots of notes to be able to identify and share profiles on each alter, how many, etc. (and bc we are so often misrepresented, dramatized and demonized in stories but at this point I think Sukuna's like the most innocent jjk character so)

I’m not sure if that’s possible, and that’s part of what makes Sukuna the best representation of dissociative identity disorder in fiction.

DID is called the hidden disorder for a reason. It’s there in order to survive, and survival means to not let the disorder be noticed. Even for the person who has DID, they can be in denial about it for years despite suspecting it, and it can be a thing where some alters are aware and accepting of the condition, while others in the system are not. I get the impression of this calm, emotional awareness from Sukuna at times, but not since waking up in the modern era.

we aren't like Jekyll and Hyde, the changes can be visible but there's also a lot of masking so it's arrogant to think anyone can look at a multiple and identify who is fronting. our physical differences are largely attributed to differences in muscle tension, resting vocals, etc.

I’d also like to note the co-fronting phenomenon, which is when it isn’t just one alter who is in control, but several who are driving the car together, so to speak. Sometimes it can feel like you’re driving, or in the passenger seat, but others are climbing over the backseat and trying to mess with the controls.

and the misconception that every alter has a name and appearance - they don't always come that way. often, they already exist long before coming across some piece of art, a fictional character or a photoshoot and look at it like that's me, sometimes adopting the name as well. but until having that sort of mirror, there often isn't a visual form. alters aren't necessarily human, btw. they can be extraterrestrial or angels or, maybe in sukuna's case, a curse.

[side note: sukuna's disbelief in (or rejection of) his own humanity could be for lots of reasons, not due to an alter, but more like comorbid with DID. things like blacked out medical trauma, religious trauma, growing up queer but without being exposed to any representation or language for it - same could go for undiagnosed disability, physical or mental, not ever seeing another human who looks like him or seems relatable - these can all contribute to that. even if all Sukuna's alters are human, or never specify an identity with anything. Sukuna could also feel like a curse after being called that growing up and internalizing the sentiment - but it isn't realistic with the constant use of RCT that would exorcise a curse. it's common for autistic people to feel inhuman, like we're missing a soul or more closely aligned with robots or aliens or clones etc, and it's even projected onto us (changelings etc). every multiple that I know personally has a very visible physical disability, autism, or both (I'm sure that there are many of us out there without these, but the fact that all these elements easily apply to Sukuna is just. thrashing in my brain). so when Sukuna says "I am a curse", you could argue that it's an alter who believes themselves to be a cursed spirit, but I don't think he means it that way.]

often when you ask a multiple how many their system has, you'll hear something like “it depends on who you ask.” we don't even have all the answers. so how could anyone from the outside looking in?

recently I've learned about subsystems, which would make identifying alters in another person even harder. think of a system like a solar system with the alters as planets, but if a system has subsystems, then that's like a galaxy with its own solar systems which can switch out. that's the best way to describe it, from my understanding.

For a system to work harmoniously, or even integrate, i think the key is awareness, acceptance, and autonomy. To listen and understand the other alters/headmates, even if you don’t share their tastes, to let them have their outlets and expression. If they aren’t given the chance to work together like this, then there’s a better chance of acting out when they do front. Which will be less in control, because the thing that got them to that place was dissociation, the other alters stepping back and now they have the driver’s seat, unsupervised.

DID is different for everyone, each system and alter has their idiosyncrasies while a lot of experience can be relatable between them. In some cases, one (the host, if you'd like to use that term) can feel like a hollow shell, but assumes that whatever nearby alters’ opinions, religion, hobbies, etc. are their own - until those headmates step back, and then it’s like… you can remember spending whatever amount of time working on whatever project, but you also don’t know who did that. it's common for handwriting to change, you won't recognize your own even though you clearly wrote it, friends will say “remember when you did this?” and it doesn't even sound like something you would do. for someone who hasn't spent a lot of time becoming aware of and communicating with their alters, missing time is going to be there. when alters switch, it isn't as smooth of a transition from fronting to co-fronting, but far more dissociative. this can include depersonalization/derealization. or it can even mean watching yourself get dressed (maybe you can tell who is in control by what they put on) and go for a walk while other alters are scared and begging to turn back, but they can't control the body.

for the sake of this post, I'm not going to discuss Heian Sukuna (but if sukuna had reached integration, it would have been 1,000 years ago. integration isn't permanent) much until I've reread the manga again.

DID in JJK

episode 1

so I'll go in chronological order: we first see Sukuna acting crazy with that fish bowl effect, rambling about edgelord villain shit.

we see this same thing later in Shibuya, when Sukuna's putting on some theatrical king type character.

we can view these personalities as alters, if you'd like to. I see them as masks (which can go hand in hand, no mutually inclusive, I'm not confident with separating sukuna into identifiable alters). every time Sukuna wakes up, around strangers, that's vulnerability that he cannot cope with. which can fly someone into dissociation, unable to accept that they have been seen unconscious.

so he overcompensates for it with edgy speeches. acting unhinged or composed, it's all the same to me. DID is the hidden disorder because we adapt to survive in different environments.

overcompensating appears in even more ways in shibuya, which… I have a lot to say about.

but first, let's start with Sukuna's innate domain. this is Sukuna's safe place to go when he isn't fronting. Sukuna might be able to listen in, but prefers not to.

first time at school

and Sukuna speaking through the mouth on Yuuji's face or hand? that's just like co-fronting. it's like when one alter wants to have this conversation but doesn't know how to shut up, Yuuji tries to cover it but that doesn't work. sometimes all you can do is walk away (in this case, from Gojo).

Sukuna and Yuuji's co-fronting is always one of conflict. they could have had a symbiotic relationship (which is like DID after gaining awareness, acceptance, regular communication etc). but Yuuji never listened to Sukuna, just called him annoying to Gojo. Sukuna tried to communicate. this is like DID for someone in denial that they have it, shutting out things that are “crazy” or “not real” (assuming that Yuuji saw his body like a haunted house, because Sukuna was a “cursed object” and not a soul).

Detention Center

Sukuna and Yuuji fighting for autonomy when they share a body is also so early DID to me. they don't get along, so Sukuna can only truly front when the other is dissociating, stepping back and letting him take over.

Yuuji tries to call Sukuna out, but only to make demands and ask for help. which is… not great, and Sukuna (everything Sukuna's ever done was in a desperate attempt to claw for his own autonomy, imo) feels so uncomfortable being manipulated like this, just a puppet, a tool, toyed with and rejected.

Sukuna tries to make up for this, again with his edgelord stuff, threatening Yuuji's classmates. like, yeah i can exorcise the spirit but I'll kill people too.

Sukuna tortured and mocked the cursed spirit that had his own finger in it. this is the only time Sukuna ever tortures anything. (whether it has something to do with his self-image, I'll let go of now but it rotates in my brain.) we could argue that he's just taking his time to drag out this moment of freedom. or to feel as powerful as he can. or even to intimidate Yuuji, in case he's watching.

when Sukuna says “come on, switch back already,” that's so DID. Usually when a body is sick, no one wants to front so one of the headmates just gets stuck there. it's so funny to me bc this is practically a meme among multiples. (not evidence for Sukuna's DID, unless you feel like he's done this before).

then Sukuna goes outside and is in teacher mode. trying to understand Fushiguro's technique and train him. say what you want about brutality of it, but Todo's introduction was so much worse. it took me 5 times through jjk to forgive him for that. and every time, Sukuna just looks more harmless. not to mention that Sukuna has such RCT that he could easily heal Fushiguro. I feel like sukuna's main inherent trait is this caretaking mentor thing, but you could argue adaptability here. like, oh, here's a student without competent supervision. he needs to be taught how to survive and exorcise curses better. I can do that. it's also part of Sukuna begging to be seen.

and ripping out Yuuji's heart… that was an act of desperation. of “if you won't work together with me, then I have no other choice.” but looking at Sukuna's face there, that expression is so conflicted. he doesn't want to do that. he's in such an awful position. Sukuna could have been asking Yuuji to bring him another body, something like a cursed corpse to transfer into. we just don't know, because only Yuuji heard Sukuna's voice then. the first episode shows us they are capable of speaking internally. but Yuuji won't listen unless sukuna speaks audibly. even then he isn't listening to understand.

Sukuna was able to keep Yuuji alive enough (no pulse without a heart, but sukuna doesn't need one) from within his innate domain. Just like Yuuji not being frozen solid in Shibuya, when Sukuna was dissociating hard.

part of me keeps asking if sukuna offered Yuuji another chance at life because he was so uncomfortable in a medical setting. if that's why he disappeared for a second in shibuya, too.

last mission of season 1

when Fushiguro uses his domain for the first time, kills the curse who absorbed Sukuna's finger, and then curls up on the ground with it. we see Sukuna there, giving approval within his innate domain. why?

I think that Sukuna wants Fushiguro to have his own innate domain. that they could have been symbiotic from the start. Sukuna sees himself in Fushiguro, they both crave a lot of personal space, and Sukuna wants him to at least have that. someone without their own domain might be lost when used as a vessel - like the death painting wombs’, like Yuuji if he weren't designed to be this perfect cage.

Shibuya

so much happens here.

Yuuji is trying to rescue Gojo, who sukuna wants to fight more than anything (though maybe Yuuji doesn't recognize this is a love language to those two), but never thinks to ask Sukuna for help. Sukuna who has motivation to unseal Gojo. Sukuna who could easily heal Yuuji's liver.

Yuuji chose to take Sukuna to the grave, no deals to be considered. In the most desperate time. he's just ignoring sukuna completely (a bad sign. alters who are given no acceptance, acknowledgement, or chance of expression will find their own catharsis. they will front when no one else is. and they might be prone to lashing out. not being allowed a healthy outlet? they'll find another).

Nanako, Mimiko, Jogo

first, we get Sukuna waking up with his face being held. it doesn't matter that he'd already accepted death - this is unacceptable. how can hypervigilance live with that? I mean, look at Sukuna's face. we can often find hidden emotions behind the mask by looking at Sukuna's lower eyes. we can use this, and the way they can move independently, as more DID evidence. different alters controlling the eyes? I've heard cases irl where alters seem to reside in different parts of the body.

so sukuna puts on this theatrical appearance, all composed and “bow to me” type shit.

we can watch this mask break, his fronting alter freeze for a few seconds.

when mimiko's head explodes.

first, this is not Sukuna's CT (the explosion thing against mahoraga was a long process, this was sudden and unintentional). Sukuna has some trauma involving Kenjaku, more than just being put into the custom-made cage of Yuuji. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but “stitches in his forehead” was enough for him to know. The twins were asking Sukuna to kill Kenjaku - the one thing that he couldn't do, because of a pact (I'm assuming).

think back to when Gojo explained CE vs CT to Yuuji. those two soda cans. it struck me as weird that it never seemed to come up again, when everything in jjk seems to be on a cycle or parallel of some sort. until finally I realized. Nanako and Mimiko are the soda cans.

Mimiko was killed by Sukuna's uncontrolled cursed energy. her death was an accident. I meant to also write a post on age regression in jjk, especially on this moment and Tengen but idk if I'm the best person to do that. it just seems like there's something there, with kids not being able to control their CT and people dying because of that (inumaki toge, for example). and the many times where Sukuna's face, eyes especially, appear more childlike.

you could argue that Nanako's death was simply self-defense. I see it as overcompensating. Sukuna slipped up, Sukuna watched himself regress in front of witnesses, and he needs to appear in control. so to take back that image, Sukuna cubes Nanako. Cursed Technique.

they didn't know that the freak inside their late parent's body was such a trigger for sukuna. they just wanted sukuna to kill him - I think Sukuna wanted the same thing. oh, they make me so sad.

Sukuna entertains Jogo for a while, and remains in his edgelord era. a few of Geto's family didn't survive when he showed up and said they aren't allowed to move until he says so. not killing anyone directly, but putting on a show of power.

this is the only time I remember sukuna acting so weird, it feels out of character, even. (DID is looking back at memories you have of not being in control and getting mad at whoever was fronting for acting out of character lmfao)

Uraume

Sukuna not recognizing Uraume at first isn't necessarily DID evidence. Uraume's in a different body, Sukuna hadn't come across them since the Heian era. but speaking of Uraume. Sukuna is distant, even with them. partly because he recognizes that Uraume got the please tell me what to do anxiety, and fills the role that they need (another DID trait is filling whatever role you need to in whatever context).

But Uraume didn't know sukuna had a twin (or maybe sukuna felt like it was obvious, considering they met when he had two faces and four arms). it's around this time when we find out Sukuna doesn't seem to remember his childhood. Just guesses that maybe his mother was starving. that he must have been a creepy kid.

there's also the way that he doesn't seem to remember his own death, despite it being from self-mummification which is a lengthy process, and not an impulsive decision.

I have to wonder if Sukuna died integrated. at least, the first time that I reached integration was when I was doing Buddhist meditations, breathing techniques, etc. several times a day every day. studying that was really helpful, life-changing even. and after abandoning integration, it mostly feels like a forgotten past life.

Mahoraga

Sukuna pointing his hand like a gun at the camera to see himself like that on the screens?? he was trying to comfort himself (maybe be recorded, too, but I think it was really just to feel better, to see himself weild power).

THE SWITCH after defeating Mahoraga, it's like that entity of Sukuna stepped back. Yuuji appears for a second (no tattoos, tired numb looking face, not present, in both manga and anime so it isn’t just someone forgor), but he isn't ready to front, and Sukuna's time in control (from eating so many fingers at once) isn't up yet.

Then Sukuna is back, taking Fushiguro to Shoko, and killing Haruta, and telling Yuuji to savor this feeling (which imo was sincere. Sukuna had the time of his life. Mahoraga saw him so small in comparison. The feeling Sukuna was talking about was not hurting people - this only happened on accident. Mahoraga threw sukuna into a train, and the train into a building. and then came after him, so rly, mahoraga's fault you know?

Sukuna dissociating at the thought of taking Fushiguro to medical attention…?

Mahito (junpei flashback)

at first, they seemed to get along, right?...not really. Sukuna was laughing at Yuuji, whose orders he was sick of, before Mahito joined in. suddenly making demands was the only interaction that kid ever offered him.

Sukuna wasn't paying attention to anything until being called up like that. it didn't take long for him to feel disturbed by Mahito [if you want your skin to crawl, Mahito analysis is here]

the laugh sukuna had was an obnoxious hollow mask. maybe I'm projecting (that's what this whole post is, isn't it?) but it reminds me of the first alter I gained awareness (and 10 years of denial over DID despite that) of. they would come out at school, some class clown type despite the way (without them fronting) my face would turn red at the thought of being perceived. I would often know that I was missing time while joking. I'd be standing next to my mother, face feeling weird from smiling, and no memory of what I said. Just find myself there, not knowing what to do, so I would just leave the room.

that's what I see in sukuna's laugh with Mahito. even before then, the facial expression etc. is all such a mask.

and Sukuna disappeared quickly and quietly. retreated back to his innate domain. took no interest in Mahito (who I think of all people, Sukuna might be most disturbed by).

the first few times through jjk, I didn't expect sukuna to have depth of character, because he seemed to be so random and impossible to pin down. like he really didn't get to be a character. which all makes sense now.

Mahito in Shibuya

Sukuna mostly dissociates in their innate domain, but undeniably was aware of Mahito after the 0.2 second domain expansion.

If sukuna were such a prideful, arrogant, selfish prick, they might have stolen the show, obliterated Mahito easily to piss Yuuji off. Sukuna had already killed Jogo, who Kenjaku wanted to absorb, so while there's a chance that Mahito was explicitly off-limits, it isn't what I'm thinking.

Every time I see sukuna faced with Mahito, I see age regression. Look at those eyes. They're drawn bigger, more child-like, even glassy, which we only see when Mahito touches sukuna (manga and anime, both times).

Mahito certainly found the time to talk to Sukuna then, but there was no reply. Just this nonverbal stare.

Sukuna didn't appear for the rest of the Shibuya arc. Not when Kenjaku said “are you listening, Sukuna? Heian era. I said your favorite word. Jingle jingle” (ok so im paraphrasing but Kenjaku rly is such an abusive parent like, be so grateful I'm creating the golden age of jujutsu for you, even tho that time was hell for you and I brought u back to life in a cage :) Uraume was there defending Sukuna, and there wasn't even the opening of an eye or the appearance of an extra mouth. just absence.

even more evidence?

Sukuna seems to be inspired by Lucy from Elfen Lied. iirc she only has 2 alters (which is common in fiction, easier to show, I don't know any irl cases like that but still like it tbh). the baby diclonius look just like Yuuji, same hair and color. same technique, I at this point suspect sukuna has medical trauma also (kenjaku's Meiji era experiments, the way Kaori's pregnancy was carried - how was Yuuji born with a sealed finger in him?? and the way Kenjaku felt seen by Yuki's concept for the culling games, forcing people to adapt, and Sukuna's constantly running RCT even feels a bit suspicious. maybe too much of a reach, idk).

anyway the last time I watched elfen lied I noticed this in the first episode. JJK reference? the worm cut in half and Mahito's snail head?? I lost it. Gege I see what you've done and ily.

[joesanrio]

All over Instagram | J.U

Summary: It’s been about 2 days since you last saw Jey, and now a small situation that was on Twitter has seemed to spread.

Pairings: Joshua Fatu {Jey Uso} x fem!reader || established relationship

Warnings: flashback, “cheating” scandal, rumors, long distance, emotional conversation, stubborn!Jey, uses real and nicknames, face grabbing, p-in-v (unprotected), multi!orgasms, shower!sex, 69, they just being filthy… NOT EDITED

Word count: 2856 (long)

Ratings: Angst, Fluff, Smut | 18+

A/N: y’all in the comments of All over Twitter | J.U had me cracking up!! So here’s part two since y’all loved the last one 🩵🩵

Tag list: @angelreyesgirl100 @britishhybrid @harlem11680 @papireigns-05 @jeyusos-girl @heart4reigns @xiament3 @romanreignseater @reci24 @bakugoumarianawrites @jeysbae @smile1318 @anonandwannakeepitthatway @alyyaanna @tjai1121 @syia2907 @mya2real @southerngirl41 @nbanenefrmdao @him-uni @siriuslyblackonback @christinabae @justanamjoonstan @louisianalady @iguessilikewrestlingnow @avxngxrrogxrs @romanreignkisser @jeyusosgirl @glennsrealbae @lucymarie2002

———————————————————

[Flashback]

“Omg, Thank you so much for coming!” clapping happily as Jimmy pulls up to the venue you asked him to view with you, it was about 8pm and you wanted to see how it would look inside with the skylight roof. “You know I got you sis, plus I know uce like the back of my hand.” Jimmy hugs you once he exits his car, heading inside with the key the owner gave you.

The inside was beautiful especially with the sky being practically night but still a bit light out. The moon shining bright through the skylight, letting the marble floor glisten and the walls darken around.

You guys were there about 30 minutes taking small notes and measurements for the plan you were setting up, “I like the red because it’ll look really pretty under the lighting that I’m getting, but I’m not sure about the black.” You reply, as Jimmy mentioned the color scheme. Looking around the room again to get the feel for it, “Too dark.” He nods before thinking of some other colors to make the room pop.

“What about silver, red, white? I mean it’s simple it’ll make the room sparkle…” Perking up happily as Jimmy side glances at your mention of sparkles. “Girl. Sparkles, really?” His facial expression making you burst into laughter. “It’s my anniversary too!” giggling before writing down the idea in your notebook as a reminder to send to the interior designer after getting your own perspective of the room.

---

It’s now 9:40pm, both of you have viewed the entire venue and included things that you needed to buy or fix up before the surprise. Jimmy was a great help, especially with the measurements or telling you about small cultural details to add to the venue to make it more special. You couldn’t have chosen a better person to help with the surprise anniversary party you wanted to throw for Jey.

“Alright now, get home safe.” Jimmy hugs you once you declare the work finished, “You too! And thank you so much for the help again.” Grinning at tonight’s success as you lock the door and put the key in your purse. “Say Hi to Trin for me too!” You call out before getting into your car and putting your address into the gps. He gives me a thumbs up, pulling out of the parking lot quickly to get home to his girl.

[Present]

You haven’t seen Jey in 2 days, and every time you tried to call him, the call would decline, and he’ll text back “What were y’all doin?”. You called Jimmy (and Trin) to tell them what happened with Jey, at first you were relieved when Jimmy mentioned how he could call him and fix it.

That was until when he did call, Jey picked up quickly before saying “Fuck you,” and hanging up just before Jimmy could even get a word in. Should’ve known though, because his dramatics used to be one of your favorite things about him, it would make you laugh or just lighten the room, but as of now it’s doing the exact opposite.

So, you decided to wait until Summerslam to try to message him again, an even worse decision as Jimmy goes out and betrays him that same night.

Watching your phone go from hundreds of mentions on social media to thousands in a matter of seconds, the fans were never merciful with those who they don’t like, and they sure don’t like you right now.

“Just pick up and be an adult.” You practically yell at your phone as you call Jey right after the PPV is over, the rings now being impeded into your brain as you listen to them play repeatedly.

Ik you see my calls so just answer them 🙄

I didn’t want to call you earlier and I don’t want to call you now 🤨

Joshua. Literally answer, we need to talk abt this

We can talk in person.

Our flight is at 11pm

Okay be safe 💗

Seen

He got home last night but didn’t say a word as he unpacked and got into bed. If anything, Jey was so silent that you didn’t even realize he was home until you felt the bed shift.

---

The next morning, you were up preparing breakfast for the kids before they headed off to school. Leaving you and Jey in the house alone. The house that was once filled with soft laughter, or just interesting conversations, is now completely silent and cold.

You understand him, you know how he acts and why he does it. You were just hoping he wouldn’t be that way with you, “Josh… can we talk now?” voice barely above a whisper when you walk back into your shared bedroom. His eyes shooting up to make eye contact with yours as he sits against the headboard on his phone, “Yup.” Jey’s voice monotone as he looks back down at his phone.

Letting out a soft sigh at his attitude, unconsciously speeding towards the distant man, missing his warmth and comfort. “Do you really think I cheated?” getting straight to the point, you understood what the public thought, but you wanted to know if Jey truly believed it. Jey’s gaze caressing over your body before coming back up to your eyes, hurt visible inside of them, a loud huff leaving his nose as he drops his phone into his lap.

“I want to say no, but something in the back of my mind is saying otherwise.” He expresses lowly, his gaze not easing up as your own softens. “You believe that I would cheat on you. With you brother?” eye contact now separating as he looks down at his hands, “I would never, I could never do that to you or myself.” Your voice delicate as all your pent-up emotions seem to leak through your words.

Your words were never second guessed to Jey, even when he has the underlying thoughts of what people say. “I know…” is all he could muster up to tell you, this wasn’t a conversation that he ever though he would have to have with you.

“I don’t think you do. You left me.” His heart breaking at those words, he doesn’t like this feeling. Especially since it’s coming from the only other person that he knew would protect him with all their might. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll prove it to you, I’ll do anything. I’m sorry.” His voice cracking as he pleads to you desperately, he couldn’t imagine not being with you, not knowing that you’ll be there when he gets home.

“Then prove it.” Your voice quiet compared to Jey’s harsh breaths. “I’ll do anything, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it.” His eyes falling onto yours, the desperate pleads starting to mumble together as you watch the different emotions flash in his intense gaze.

---

“I told you; I’ll do anything.”

A sort of muffled cry leaves your mouth as Jey grabs your cheeks with his large hand. The touch is gentle, yet rough as he squeezes and moves your face to look into his eyes. A teasing smirk forms onto his lips when your eyes meet his again, “What’d I tell you, baby?” his eyes filled with lust.

Another moan leaves your plump lips as your cunt tightens and hips lifts off the bed, pushing itself further into Jey’s thrust and the vibrator he’s forcing you to use; still in your hand pressing against your clit. Trying to create space away from the vibrator and your sensitive and puffy clit.

Jey’s free hand comes to hold your wrist in place, an annoyed groan passes through your throat, your body tries to squirm away from the vibrator that is now impossible to move. “Stop running away baby. I’m finally back.” Your body tries helplessly to get away from the vibrations spreading painful pleasure through your body and the powerful thrusts from his cock. 

“You wanted me to prove it, yeah?” An annoyed grunt travels through the air when your walls flutter and clench around Jey’s thick dick, your body squirming starts adding on to the tightness surrounding his cock, making his thrusts less precise.

“Yes baby!” Your hands reach for something to grab before stuttering and trying to push his hips away from yours in a panic, Jey grabs your throat, squeezing gently as the now found pleasure sputters through your body. Holding you in place impatiently, his head leaning down to your ear. “Look at you, you couldn’t cheat on me baby. You’re a mess for this dick.” He teases before placing a small peck on the outer shell of your ear.

Jey chuckling at your pathetic state, adding more pressure to your wrist to dig the vibrator further into your clit. Your walls flutter around him in response, a moan leaves his mouth as his eyes snap close to savor the feeling.

The warmth and tightness suck his cock into your pussy greedily, practically begging him to continue pumping into you. His eyes open slowly as your moaning and desperate noises fill the room.

“Take it. Take all of me.” His deep groans fill the room tauntingly. Eyes rolled back deliciously before closing tightly, jaw hanging open because can’t close no matter how hard you try to force it shut. Jey smirks teasingly at your state and gives you a particularly deep thrust that causes your pelvis to jolt upwards shakily. 

A thick whine travels up your throat and passes the pressure he applies to your throat. It causes Jey to chuckle condescendingly, and he places a quick kiss to your cheek. The tenderness of the act distracts you for a moment, giving him the opportunity to release your throat and pull the vibrator from your overstimulated clit.

 A surprised squeal leaves your mouth at the cool air brushing over your sensitive cunt. Jey takes the time to slow down his thrusts, observing the fucked-out look that covers your face. You look gorgeous with eyes that can’t see clearly and skin that tries stupidly to cool your body down with sweat. A soft groan leaves his lips, and he speeds up his thrusts again. “I love you!” You practically huff out as his thrust seems to knock the wind out of you.

“I love you too.” He shakes his head in amusement before grabbing your wrists and pinning them to the pillow above your head as he gives your cunt the last of his pleasurable thrusts before stilling and coating your walls in his cum. You both let out tired sighs as the pleasure courses through your bodies until it dies down into a faint hum. Jey gives your wrists a tight squeeze before letting them go and slipping out of you.

His body warmth now gone makes you whimper, and he kisses your forehead lovingly as an apology. He sits back up and caresses your face with a small smile. It causes your heart to flutter, and you’re bought out of your fucked-out phase. 

When your eyes clear and meet Jey’s, he breathes out a slow breath, “That’s my girl, now I need you to sit down on my face. ‘Kay?” He speaks more of a demand than suggestion. Eyebrows furrowing at this man’s high sex drive, barely being able to recuperate from your past 2 orgasms.

He taps your thigh quickly to get you out of your trance, forcing your body up and switching positions. His large hands delicate on your soft waist and pulling you gently down onto his face. Adjusting you, so you sit perfectly onto his lips, his tongue quickly going to lick up your swollen folds.

“S’good. Suck me baby, keep that mouth busy.” He mumbles into your puffy cunt, your hands going to garb his erected cock, immediately wondering how many times you’re going to have to cum before he goes limp.

“Oh… gentle- please!” You whine out as Jey sucks on your clit roughly. Quickly letting go of the sensitive bud and deciding to tongue fuck you in between your folds and lick you clean. You let out a whiney moan before you spit onto his cock, stroking him up and down a few times before taking your tongue to swirl around his tip.

"Fuck, that’s it." He voices out as you begin to ride against his motions while you prepare on your end to take all his cock into your mouth. You start off slow, teasing Jey by licking a stripe up his shaft before lowering your mouth halfway down.

You pull back up, your hands stroking near the base at the same time you bob up and down. Your moans are muffled against his cock, but Jey is eating the fuck out of your pussy, and you genuinely want to sob.

"Josh, wait fuck-" You yell but he continues. "You're-you're gonna make me cum so fucking fast."

"Do it for me." He teases in between. He begins to slowly work his hips into you, making his cock fuck your mouth ever so gently.

As you continue sucking him, you feel your high coming to a close, especially when Jey is toying with your folds with his tongue and taking advantage of the way you work your hips against his mouth.

"Joshua! Ah, so close! I'm-I'm—" You try to continue stroking his wet dick to keep yourself occupied but fall limp into his pelvic as your hips continue to ride out your 3rd orgasm on his skillful mouth.

"Shower time?" Jey lifts your hip from his face with a chuckle while you gather your breathing, forgetting completely about his orgasm.

"Mhm." You mumble as you push yourself up and roll to the side of him, knowing exactly what he expects when he asks the question.

Even though you both needed to shower, your bodies coated in cum, sweat, and spit, you guys just laid there breathless. His arms pulling you into his embrace, you missed this. You missed him. "Join me Baby." Your eyes diverting into his gaze softly at his question, before nodding silently. Too tired to even say a word anymore, hoping that his past expectations don’t apply here.

Finally deciding to head to the shower after a small pep talk, remembering you guys must clean up before the kids get home. “I bought you something!” Jey perks up from the closet as he walks towards you with one of his new shirts, not even phased about the fact that he’s naked.

Smiling at him, you head into the steaming shower, the hot water immediately cleansing off your sticky body. “Don’t leave me baby!” He jokes when the fogged door slams closed.

Sooner or later, you see his silhouette passing the glass, the door slightly swinging open again as he lets himself in. You subtly bite onto your bottom lip as you look at him up and down, his member quickly hardening when he sees your wet body gleaming under the light.

The shower started off sweet, and comforting. Jey gently working his hands into your scalp to massage the shampoo and conditioner in your hair. He helps wash it off, continuing to work his hands in the same motions, causing your eyes to shut briefly at his tenderness.

You returned the favor, turning and him unintentionally bending his knees for you to get a good grip on his hair, working the shampoo through his curls. It's quiet, and the only sounds in the bathroom are the running water and the water bouncing off the tiles.

"You're so beautiful." He says, helping lather up the body wash on your back before you help with his and wash off. He gives you a warm, small smile before dipping his head to press a kiss on your lips. But at this point, you don't want to pull away at all. Instead, you want him to continue, your hands rest on his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

 You gently bite on his bottom lip, tugging back slightly as you keep your gaze on him. "Fuck. We’re supposed to be getting clean." Jey whispers when you pull away, a small groan being released from his mouth as he pulls you by the waist, his hardened member brushing against your clit.

“You’re right. Now let me go.” Your self-control comes hurdling back as you realize the whole point of the shower, “Damn… you ain’t even want to pretend like you wanted more.” He complains behind you as you rinse off again, not for any reason but it just felt right.

Winking at the desperate man behind you once you shut the water off, leaving the shower to get dried off. His hand slapping your ass quickly when you leave him as he just stands in the shower contemplating the situation.

"I did all that proving, and you can’t even give m-me a little suck?" His voice vibrating off the shower walls as he complains, you can see his hands flying around with his stutter. Giggling, you continue to do your own thing, not paying the giant baby any mind.

[choicesmonthlychallenge]

May Mayhem: a monthly challenge

Unfortunately the May host has not been able to get the event up so I have put together a quick event. May Mayhem seemed like a fun idea. It's a little chaotic, a bit messy, but I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless!

Prompts under the cut

MAYhem Prompts

Regret

Betrayal

Secrets/Lies

Confession

Caught

Jealousy

Sabatoge

Smirk

Wink

Scars

Fake Dating (fails)

Hot Mess

Guilty Pleasure

Stuck together somewhere/only one room

Interrupted/Moment Lost

Right person, wrong time

Wrong person, right moment

Enemies to lovers

Drunk text/phone call

Sleep confessions

It wasn't all a lie

Stolen kisses

Double date disaster

Stepping on a lego

Sprinklers going off during a good night kiss

Sharing a blanket that’s way too small for two people.

Mash up two Choices books in a chaotic crossover

What if the main couple never met

Two characters wake up handcuffed together, with no memory of the night before.

Choose 3 random objects around you and create something

"You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Tell me you didn’t mean it."

"I wish it could be different."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"That's a terrible idea"

"We’re pretending to be what now?"

"Technically, no laws were broken."

"I call that creative problem solving."

“You kissed me to win a bet?!”

“You’re not my type.” (but they really are)

"Can you please go be stupid somewhere away from me?"

A: "How many people did you tell?" B: "... everyone"

"Of course, I love you, dumbass!"

"Tell me, why were we friends again?"

Rules/Guidelines

Submitted works will be featured on an event masterlist

Every form of new creative work can be submitted: fanfiction, drabbles, moodboards, edits, drawings, poems, songs, sketches, and more—all are welcomed.

Work from any book and story from the Choices (and Pixelberry) universe are welcome (new and old alike)!

You can participate as many times as you want during the month

Clearly list the prompt you used

You can combine submissions for this event with others

Please add a cut to avoid long posts and exposing other fans to triggering/disturbing content.

If your work is NS*W please label it as such and use appropriate warnings. Adult content should be hidden under the page break.

You can get creative with the prompts. It can be a variation of the word and/or concept. It doesn’t have to be exact or literal. If the word inspires a train of thought that led you to something different, put that in the notes and send it in! Have fun with it! Make them work for you! The ultimate goal is just to find joy in creating!

Please tag @choicesmonthlychallenge​​ , #choicesmay2025 and if you’d like to add me you can do so as well~ @lovealexhunt​​​ (feel free to DM me your work too since Tumblr tags are fickle)

Please do not submit work that has been created with AI. Works that contain AI will not be reblogged. If reblogged inadvertently and I find out they have AI, they will be deleted.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Symbols I would be making sure were present (or adding) if I were producing the Six of Crows TV show

(Btw I’ve been writing my own script for a bit of fun since the cancellation news so if anyone wants to see that I’ll tag you, and the save S&B petition is also on my page if anyone wants the link)

EDIT: Sorry I should’ve put this I forgot; SA reference warning for the second point, nothing explicit but in talking about Inej’s experiences and the experiences of women in Greek mythology 🖤

FLOWERS. I want geraniums on the Exchange balcony from chapter 2 and I want reference to the geraniums at 19 Burstradt, I want Matthias the big brooding yellow tulip contrasted with the red tulips laid on his chest and in the water after his death, I want crocuses at the Hoede manor, I want jurda blossoms in Jesper’s flashbacks and maybe Kaz’s too (and probably crocuses in his), I want geraniums hidden all over the caravan and circus tent in Inej’s flashbacks, I want wild flowers in Wylan’s hands on the way to St Hilde’s that get discarded in the lobby, I want wisteria growing outside St Hilde’s, I want blue tulips painted on the floor tiles at St Hilde’s, I want white roses all over Nina’s room in Ketterdam and I want to hear the comment about how all the flowers at the White Rose are perfumed by hand, I want a cascade of geraniums falling all over Kaz and Inej as they tumble of Goedmed Bridge, I want lavish flower arrangements at the Menagerie accented by peacock feathers, I COULD TALK ABOUT THE FLOWER SYMBOLISM IN THESE BOOKS FOR YEARS I WANT IT NOTICED LET’S GO

BIRDS. I want crows, I want pigeons, I want nightingales (that one’s my personal addition but oh boy do I have reasons; Nightingales are a symbol of immortality in literature and could be painted on the tiles at St Hilde behind the wisteria for all the same symbolic reasons the wisteria’s there; in Greek mythology Philomela prayed to the gods to escape her Tereus, who had raped her and intended to kill her, and they turned her into a nightingale, representing freedom and imprisonment at the same time because she’d lost who she was so this wasn’t true freedom DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW BADLY I NEED A NIGHTINGALE TO CROSS THE SCREEN WHILST INEJ CONTEMPLATES HAVING COMMITTED MURDER AND HER PERSONAL MORAL AND RELIGIOUS IMPLICATIONS OF THAT!!?? I’m going crazy), I want more emphasis on the bird cage in Heleen’s office because in its three seconds of screen time in season one I was SOLD on how genius it was, I want peacocks EVERYWHERE, I want to be so committed to the birds vibe that we can start throwing in a whole load of new birds for other symbolism!! Let’s have owl symbolism around Wylan and Jesper, let’s have heavy emphasis on Nina as the little red bird, let’s talk about the nightingale again because I’m obsessed

KOMEDIE BRUTE. I have talked before about how I think the costumes each character wears are symbolic and directly linked to their arc but it was a long time ago and I updated it a few times based on replies so if anyone wants a full updated version of my thoughts on that lemme know, I also wrote a thing about how I think Mr Crimson could possibly be an omen of death so again if anyone’s interested let me know - I’ll either tag you or write a post fully involving all my Komedie Brute thoughts. I want Nina as the lost bride, Wylan and Inej in matching grey imp costumes, Kaz in the madman’s mask, Jesper and Matthias as Mr Crimson, all of them as Mr Crimson with a black tear in their masks, silver coins thrown all over the staves, costume shops on Ketterdam streets. I want Jackal masks and Drüskelle “costumes” in plain view on market stalls and in shop windows, and as an add on to that I want references to Nina’s fake Kefta being Kerch-made and uncomfortable to wear.

PURPLE. I want purple stadwatch uniforms, I want purple kruge notes, I want purple decor in the Geldrenner, I want purple silks in Inej’s flashbacks.

TREES. I want so many reminders that trees are sacred to Fjerdans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This has already been done really well in the show but I would want to maintain it; I want to see Matthias praying when Wylan fells the tree before the Ice Court heist, I want his indignation over the relevance of the sacred ash tree, I want to see the look on Nina’s face when she realises Brum has walked her all the way around the sacred ash instead of crossing underneath it (at the time she thinks it’s because she’s pretending to be a prostitute but later we understand it’s because she’s Grisha and I know we couldn’t have had Nina’s internal thoughts in this scene even though I wish we could have but we can still have hints!!!)

SEALS AND STAMPS. I want to see a blue wax seal with a peacock feather pattern, a black seal with a crow, a pale green stamp for the bank, a purple stamp for government correspondence, I want a stack of letters with unbroken red seals with a laurel wreath crest hidden under Wylan’s mattress.

RELIGIOUS SYMBOLS. Ok there’s loads we could say here but specifically I want “rich as saints in crowns of gold” contrasted with “if it was worth anything Heleen would have taken it. But this is just a simple token of faith that my mother stitched”, I want the imagery of Ghezen contrasting the imagery of the Saints contrasting the imagery of Djel, and I so so badly want “Djel is the god of life, not death”

[leafostuff]

A Tent for the two of us [FT. Weeekly Jihan]

tags: Fluff, huddle for warmth, classmates to lovers Words: 2.8K Author's Note: Shoutout to @octoberautumnbox, @libraryoferos and @4m1rz For Beta reading and Editing this lovely piece, I hope you will all enjoy reading this fic like I enjoyed writing this fic.

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You have to admit: you don't get the charm behind camping.

Like seriously, what is the fun of going to a forest in the middle of nowhere, having no normal food, and no reception, to add salt to the injury you have to suffer this experience with your school, which already is a pain in itself since you’re not the most popular guy in school, 

And that is not even the worst part…

“What do you mean you didn't bring a tent??” your teacher asked, her eyes looking at you with an aura of annoyance.

Even after telling your parents about the trip 2 months in advance, reminding them almost daily 2 weeks before the trip, the only thing you were able to get was a sleeping bag and a rolling mattress. However, it's not like you could have blamed them, they were so busy you are surprised that they even had the time to make you a bag for the camping trip in the first place.

“My parents thought I wouldn't need it, since we are sleeping inside a building” You tried to explain your parent’s very questionable logic, feeling your teacher's face palming inside her mind.

“For the second day! On the first day, we are sleeping in tents. Weren't they present in the Zoom meeting about the trip?” She answered and asked simultaneously. You knew your parents didn't have the time to join the Zoom meeting so you had to join the meeting on mute and with no camera.

“If it's not a problem Ms. Lee, I can sleep without a tent, my parents got me a sleeping bag and a matres-” you tried explaining as your teacher stopped you again.

“No no no no, I can't take responsibility for you, doing something like this, you can get a cold from sleeping outside,” she said, taking a deep sigh and rubbing her temples with both hands; Your situation was indeed a challenge for her to figure out. “Did you talk with any of the boys? Maybe they could share their tent with you?” she asked.

“I already asked them, and all of their tents are either too small to have two or they are already two inside of a tent,” you explain as another sigh comes from your teacher. It was already close to the lights-out hour and you didn’t have a place to sleep in, as the desperation of Ms. Lee was at its peak.

“Good night, Ms. Lee,” a girly voice was heard from behind you, looking back you see Han Jihyo, one of your classmates going toward her tent, she was already ready for sleep with her pink coloured pyjamas, but as she passed near both of you her smile turned into a worried look.

“Is everything ok? Did something happen?” the girl asked, walking near you as she joined you and your teacher’s conversation.

“Well Seungkwan forgot a tent for the trip, so he doesn't have somewhere to sleep for the first night,” Ms. Lee explained, “Right now we are trying to think of ideas of where he could sleep that won't get him sick.”

“Oh, if this is the problem, I could let you sleep in my tent Seungkwan, it has enough space for someone else besides me” Jihan exclaimed, smiling brightly. However, both you and your teacher reacted very differently to what your classmate expected.

“No no no, I can't let this happen” Ms Lee stopped Jihyo, already throwing her idea to the pretend trash can. “I can't let a boy and a girl sleep in the same tent,” she added as you were quick to join on your teacher’s side.

“Oh come on, look at me: I am wearing full pyjamas, so he won't see any private parts of my body,” she exclaimed. “And besides, I don't mind sharing a tent with a guy,” she added, reassuring your teacher.

“I agree with Ms Lee, Jihyo” You added. Your face heated from the idea “What if someone else finds me sleeping in your tent? I would be called a pervert!” you added.

“Well my tent is not close to the other girls’ tents, so they won't know you are here,” she counters your argument without any hesitation, determined to let you sleep at her tent, “And besides Ms. Lee, this is the best solution we have right now,” she added.

A minute of silence, your teacher is thinking about everything meanwhile many questions run through your head: Why is she helping you? You both never really talked at all during the school year, so offering help is very suspicious of her. You look into Jihyo’s eyes, feeling the warmth in them as you feel a bit less uncomfortable with her idea.

A loud sigh finally comes from Ms Lee as in heavy defeat she says: “Okay, Seungkwan can sleep in your tent” In reaction to this your face turned surprised while Jihyo’s face brightened up. “go bring your stuff so you can get ready to sleep, it's already lights out time” Ms Lee added as you walked toward your bags.

“Well, I guess this is happening, might as well make the most out of it”  you think to yourself, but you can’t help but notice your mouth forms a weak smile. Were you happy that she let you sleep in her tent?

~-~-~-~

Well… Jihyo’s tent was as big as she said it was.

Scratch that, it might as well be a family-sized tent with how spacious it was, having enough space for a family of 5 to comfortably rest there. “See? I told you it wasn’t a problem of space for me,” she exclaimed, a cute grin forming on her face.

“Wow, do your parents own HYBE or something?” you jokingly ask while the girl casually laughs at your comment.

“Heh, they might as well do, well let's get in, we should head to sleep,” she said as she entered as you followed her, grabbing your baggage and dragging it inside.

“So” She says through a small yawn “This is your side, you can put your bag here” Jihyo said, pointing toward the left side of the tent you obliged, letting your bag fall to let you get out your sleeping bag and mattress. “By the way, my parents brought me a big one so we can both sleep in the same one,” she added.

“It's okay, I have my mattress,” you said while getting the sleeping bag out, now attempting to take the mattress out of your bag. “I'm not that stupid to forget that” you add, looking into your bag to try and get out your mattress, after a while, you finally manage to lay your mattress out. However, when Jihyo scans it she simply shakes her head in disappointment.

“Yeah right, I'm not letting you go to sleep with that mattress, it's too thin” she explained as she leaned her hand in to take the mattress of your hand, but her hand accidentally touched yours, her entire body suddenly stiffened as she feels like she touched the inside of a freezer.

“OH GOD! And you are already so cold,” she added as she shook her hand, trying to let it get some warmth from the movement. “There is NO CHANCE you are sleeping on your mattress, you are sleeping on mine and this is final!” she adds. You realize that you do not have any way of avoiding sleeping her way, so you sigh in a sign of giving up, laying yourself on her mattress.

The first thing you feel is how surprisingly soft this mattress feels, as if a herd of sheep voluntarily shaved their wool to donate it to the mattress.

“You see? My mattress is 20 times more comfortable than yours.” She giggled, seeing how you gave in to the softness while joining you on the mattress, however instead of a sleeping bag she pulled up her blanket, covering herself around it swiftly and her eyes turned themself toward you while a weak smile was forming on her face. Feeling puzzled you ask:

“What?”

“Heh, it's nothing, it's just…we never really talked before, have we? I think we are also in the same class, however, we never really spoke before…and here you are, in the same tent as me,” she explained.

“I mean yeah, I am not sitting” a Yawn takes over your voice. “close to you in any of the classes we share, so I guess we never really had the chance to talk,” you reply, trying your best not to fall asleep. “Are you not tired? It's like 11:30 PM,” you add, yawning as you get inside your sleeping bag while turning your head to the tent’s roof.

“Not really, like I'm like sleepy, but not…Sleepy, you know what I mean?” You could simply shake your head in confusion as Jihyo continued. “Like I'm not gonna fall asleep as soon as I close my eyes,” she explained.

“Well I do, and I'm gonna try to get some sleep because I doubt I could get sleep on the bus tomorrow,” you explain, remembering how earlier today during the ride you could hear the rest of your class (including Jihyo) talking and singing so loud you couldn't get even a second in peace.

“Oh…well good night,” she says, her tone still upbeat despite the tiredness filling her face as Jihyo simply turned her head to the other side, laying on her mattress as you copy her, trying to get sleep. However, as much as you wanted the tiredness to take over your body and let you fall asleep, another feeling has captured your body instead.

“Fuck…so cold” you internalize your thoughts, covering yourself with the sleeping bag. But the cold goes through, making you shiver lightly. Way to go to the student council that decided to plan the school trip in the middle of winter,. If this trip was 2 months from today the entire school would be much happier.

Suddenly you can feel movement in the mattress; as you turn your head to see what is going on, you see your tentmate going through her backpack, looking annoyed. After a minute or so she finally finds what she is looking for. “Have this.”

The girl throws something at you, as you pick it up you see it read the word “heat pack.” “Everyone probably can hear you freezing. You should warm yourself,” Jihyo adds.

“Uhh thanks, but I don't think it’s necces-”

“No buts,” she interrupts, giving you a light smack on your head with the heat pack, “you are going to sleep with the heat pack, end of the argument,” she retorts, but even her angry face is followed with a pout that can only be described as cute, not being able to help yourself but slightly blush.

You sigh, “OK, thank you.” 

“You're welcome, now let's get some sleep,” she says, turning her head again and going back to sleep. You manage to do the same for a second or two, but now you can't help but think about the situation, realizing how the girl didn’t object that hard into sharing a tent with you, especially when you two are a boy and a girl, sleeping together in the same place.

If it wasn't for Jihyo, you would also have to sleep outside in the cold. Deep inside you were hoping someone would help you get a place to sleep in, even though on the outside you were adamant about sleeping outside, so in a sense you can say that she saved your trip by keeping you from getting sick.

In a sense she saved you.

“I do need to be thankful, right?” you rhetorically ask yourself, sighing as you slowly turn yourself. However, instead of seeing a sleeping Jihyo near you, she was fully awake, looking into your eyes.

“Can't sleep as well?” she faintly asks, and surprised by her being awake you find yourself moving backward.

“Yeah…” you simply whisper as you move closer to her again, your eyes looking at the ceiling of the tent, an awkward silence is forming between you two for a good 10 seconds or so, but it comes to an end as you mutter:

“I just wanted to say thank you…for like…you know…” Your cheeks turn a small shade of pink, slowly heating up, Jihyo in the meanwhile can't help but smile at your shyness.

“I know?” she asks, obvious that she was acting like she didn't know what you want to say You simply just take a deep breath and continue talking, throwing the awkwardness to the side.

“Thank you for letting me sleep in your tent.” You muster up the courage to say those words to your tentmate, your eyes magnetically find themself looking at hers. “And sorry if I was so against the idea before.”

“Oh it's ok Oppa, it's what friends do.” Her right-hand finds itself on your shoulder while her eyes join her mouth in forming a smile that might as well replace the heaters around your camping site, you can't help but slowly smile at her ba-.

“Wait did Jihyo just call you oppa?”  you now realize how she was calling you as your face completely turns red, you have watched enough dramas to know what happens when a girl calls a guy Oppa

It was hard for you to deny that during the school year, you both were in the same class, so it wasn't hard for to form a small crush on Jihyo. While at first, you were pretty sure that you just liked her as a friend and nothing more, as time passed you couldn't help yourself but think about her: when you were trying to listen in class, during your video game sessions where you were hyper-focused on the game (Maybe that is why you always found yourself losing focus suddenly) and to when you were ready to close your eyes.

This serene moment of both of you looking into each other's eyes finally stops when she speaks, breaking the silence in half.

“Are you still cold Oppa?” she asked, looking at the heat pack she gave you. Touching it with your finger, you could feel how it isn’t warm anymore, you can't seem to recall how much time has passed since she gave you that heat pack.

“A little bit, yeah…” you answer. “Do you have another heat pack by chance?” you ask, but in response, your tentmate shakes her head. “No this was the only one I had,” she explains You can't help but sigh, but Jihyo’s words come next manage to catch you off guard.

“I…do have another way of warming up,” she says timidly. Although it's hard to see in the dark, you seem to notice that her cheeks are painted in a red blush, and it only takes you about 5 seconds or so to finally do the 2+2 in your mind as you can't help but mentally facepalm yourself.

“Only if it’s okay by you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable” she adds, you could feel the fluster in her voice. Even though you could feel yourself getting awkward more and more after she suggested that idea, you manage to say:

“It's okay…you can go ahead” you mutter, loud enough for her to hear you. It's almost impossible not to feel a bit warmer just by the smile of the girl near you, making you do the same.

“Okay, I will need you to come closer” she explains as you oblige, nudging close toward her enough that there is close to no space between the both of you. You can feel how her arms slowly but surely wrap around your body, you simply let yourself fall into her embrace, putting your hands around her back as well as you are now essentially cuddling together.

“Is it better?” she whispers to you, nodding in response. “Great” she yawned quietly. “mmm… you don't mind if I…” She closes her eyes and you feel the left side of the face resting itself on your chest. You could feel how soft her cheeks were as if there were giant marshmallows with how fluffy they were.

You giggle slightly at how cute Jihyo looks in your arms; when she was speaking to you before she looked confident, but now you can feel how deep inside when you know her she just becomes a soft, precious being, something that you must protect.

It's hard for you to stay awake so slowly you start closing your eyes as well, but before you fall fully asleep you mutter some words that you had no control over, in reaction your tentmate seems to giggle cutely.

“Hehe…I like you too oppa,” she says as well, eyes still closed as you both finally fall asleep, letting yourself get lost in your dreams, but in the newfound warmth of each other.

================================================

Wow, a long Jihan fic...i am very proud of it, i hope you enjoyed reading this fic, again feel free to send asks in the Inbox.

I will see you all next time Leafies

[dribs-and-drabbles]

The Great Thai Communal Wardrobe Advent Giveaway!

I've currently collected/documented 45 items of clothing (and accessories) that have reappeared in various Thai series over the past four years - these are only the ones that have been discovered, I'm sure there are more.

These 45 items are spread over 38 shows and are worn by 78 different characters (mains, sides, and random extras).

At the most, one item has been worn by 8 different people in 6 series, several have been used 3-5 times, but the majority have only appeared in two different shows (so far!).

There has been one recent show which has featured 15 items of clothing which have been worn in other series! The next highest number is 11 in a show which aired last year. And then the 3rd and 4th spot go to a show from two years ago (with 10 items) and one from this year (with 6).

I have currently ordered all the items by the number of times used and then by air date (with the highest and earliest first), but once I start posting them I will add any new discoveries to the end of the list (from 46 onwards).

And I'd like your involvement to post them!

Between now and Nov 15th send me an ask or a DM with one of the following requests to either have the item dedicated to yourself or you can gift it to another blog. (Anon is also fine but I'd suggest using an obscure emoji so you can identify yourself).

You can request:

A random number in the list (1-45)

The name of a particular show

A specific character or actor

Something funny or stylish or that I think you might like

A specific item (if you have a pretty confident idea of one that exists)

And a specific date you would like your post published if you have one (I'm mainly trying to decide what order to publish them all in)

A point to note: I've already published number 3 and number 6 (although the latter is now wrongly-numbered 😥 so I might consider editing the original post...again).

My plan is to post two a day from Dec 1st in the run up to Christmas, like an advent calendar, so I've set the deadline for requests early enough to give me time to organise the posts (since work does get in the way sometimes).

And if you do spot any more shared clothing across series, do let me know!

Tagging some people in case you're interested and to help me spread the word: @grapejuicegay @celestial-sapphicss @twig-tea @rocketturtle4 @waitmyturtles @respectthepetty @chickenstrangers @ranchthoughts @slayerkitty @colourme-feral @blmpff @telomeke @nothingsbetterthancoffee @lurkingshan @ephemeral-hiraeth @thegalwhorants @hughungrybear @i-got-the-feels @icouldhyperfixatehim @dragonsareawesome123 @sparklyeyedhimbo @first-kanaphan @italianpersonwithashippersheart @shouldiusemyname @gabrielokun @ghoststookournightmares @morathicain @nongnaopat @lamonnaie @natalias-pierogi @mysterygrl20 @nahaluk @callipigio @multifanofmultifandom @dramarec @cangse-sanren @williamrikers @justafriend-ql @heretherebedork @forcebook @non-binarypal7 @aprilblossomgirl @morkofday @brazilian-whalien52

[serenaoffaerun]

Tenacity - Chapter 3 of the "Consequences" series

It's finally here!! Thank you all for your patience. Because of the physical letter writing I drew for Tav and Gale's back-and-forth, this took much longer than I anticipated. Plus, the story just kind of...ran away with itself... This chapter comes in at a word count over 8,000 and I don't know how that happened LOL.

Big thanks again to @alpydk who started off this series with what was supposed to be a one-off angst story, and allowed me to write my own sequel chapters to finish the story my own way. (Alphydk's chapter 2 can be found here.) As my first long-form writing in over a decade, it's been a fun challenge to take two characters I love so much and get them out of a position I wouldn't have put them in in the first place. 💜

Without making you all endure any more of my "propensity towards verbosity," I present chapter 3: Tenacity (complete with hand-written letters!)

Summary: After agreeing to try to re-establish their friendship/relationship by writing letters back and forth, Tav and Gale set out on their journey of communicating, listening, and healing. You better believe they're both going to hold on for dear life.

Word Count: 8,289 (I'm not sorry.)

CW: References to depression, alcoholism

Tags: GalexTav, angst/fluff, pre-established (albeit rocky) relationship, future smut? (no spoilers...), brief mention of infertility (in a positive way??), depresso espresso, communication, healing, Tara's getting ALL the tuna.

[I'm sure I left some out, I'll come back and add to it once I get this on AO3 - coming soon!!]

Screenshot: Taken from my own gameplay. Please do not re-post as your own.

NOTE: For those who don't want to read Tav's mediocre (but improving) handwriting or Gale's flowy cursive, the text version is printed below each letter (including doodle descriptions!)

9/2 4:45PM Pacific - EDIT FOR MORE NOTES:

My underlines went away when I copy/pasta'd from GoogleDocs, and now I realize that you can't underline because of links, so they're bolded and italicized instead.

REGARDING BHAALSPAWN INFERTILITY - this is NOT canon to BG3/DnD/Forgotten Realms. I totally made this up to fit my literary needs. 😉

Alpydk's chapter 1: Consequences

Chapter 2: Acquiescence

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav assessed herself before she even opened her eyes. Between the wine and the crying, she was probably the most dehydrated person in all of Faerûn. The pounding headache she was used to. She'd made blackout curtains for a reason, after all. But the soul-wrenching nausea, that was new.

Being blissfully infertile, she knew there was no risk of pregnancy. One of her permanent "gifts" as Bhaal's former Chosen was the ability to be as promiscuous as she pleased without fear of pregnancy in order to weasel her way into the hearts, minds, and pants of any of her previous victims. Not that she'd needed that ability since the Nautiloid, or especially her subsequent severing from said god. But this was no ordinary nausea anyway. It was coming from somewhere much more complex.

Among the growing list of sensations Tav noticed from her downward-facing zombie position on the couch, she found two long-lost friends: the physical feeling of being simultaneously sated but also achingly empty in her core, and...hope. Surprisingly enough, she realized it was the latter that brought on the nausea.

Crippling anxiety, overwhelming depression, stabbing guilt, these are feelings she was familiar with and knew how to handle: with denial and alcohol. Just ball it up and shove it in the "future ulcer" pocket by the stomach and cover it up with a bottle of wine or two.

Hope, on the other hand, is a fickle bitch. It introduces the possibility of a better future. The idea that things could get better. Then comes the uncertainty.

‘Desirable things in life are never guaranteed,’ she told herself. ‘You can always lose them. Don't get TOO comfortable! You might still have to live the rest of your life without the man you truly believe is your soulmate.’

Tav had NEVER believed in the idea of a ‘soulmate’ before. That was even more laughable than ‘love at first sight.’ But she’d come to believe it now.

‘And you fucked it up, didn't you? You let yourself have the worst lapse in judgment, then you doubled down on it by screaming and being a hurtful wretch. You did this. You did this and you don’t deserve forgiveness, you don’t deserve mercy. No one else will ever fill the hole in your heart, so you’re going to die alone and unloved. That’s what you deserve.’  

The words from the voice in her head kept playing on a loop for the last six months and they wouldn’t shut up. Drowning them out with wine and sleep had become her modus operandi. There’d been nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. It was the way things were going to be, she’d accepted it. Especially in the last few months after Waterdeep. She couldn’t have her heart broken again if she didn’t expect anything.

But now, new words were taking up space in her brain. His words.

‘…there was a time that we’d also brought out the best in each other, once. I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

‘Fuck.’ Those words had stolen her breath. Given her reason to think that there was a chance. That maybe he would give her the mercy she knew she didn’t deserve. Gale was just that kind of man.

If that were truly the case, though, why did he shut her out so quickly in the first place without getting to even talk about things. Why did he go straight to the biting comments and yelling instead of showing any kind of signs of forgiveness being a possibility.

‘Because you ripped out his heart that was already broken and threw it on the ground with all the remains of any self-confidence he had left after Mystra, you inconsiderate, unfaithful monster. It’s a wonder he’s still alive.’

These were the new conversations Tav now had running back and forth in her head and that’s where the source of the nausea was seated. In the unknown future where happiness still existed. Along the path that could go to life-long depression and loneliness or a blissful existence with the man who completed her, and she wouldn’t know which way she’d end up traveling until she got there. It was terrifying.

‘I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

Face still mashed in the couch pillow, she balled up her fist and slammed it down into the cushion. Depression wasn’t going to win today. Or any other day, for that matter, at least not like it had been. She would not allow herself to be swept up in the waves of self-loathing and doubt to the point of being non-functional. Not anymore.

She took a deep breath and sat up, eyes still closed. There was a warmth on her face that she knew would be the late-morning sun coming in through the living room window. As she cracked her eyes open, she winced as the light seared into her brain and fired off pain signals. Slowly, she stood up, walked across the room, and felt around for the blackout curtains.

Medicine. Shower. Food. In that order.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Looking around the room later that day, Tav felt pretty proud of herself. Once she got herself cleaned, fed, and a bit more clear-headed, she opened the curtains again and opened all the windows. Her little depression hole needed a good airing out.

Starting with all the trash, she got rid of the wine bottles, the old food, even the bin filled with dirt and burned clothing. After washing off surfaces and sweeping floors, she put all the books back on the shelf, keeping a box full of scrolls and a quill pulled out on her desk. One sandwich and two sinks full of dishes later, it was nearing night time, but she had one more task ahead of her: the letter.

She’d been chewing over words in her head all day, but she still had no idea where to start. How do you even begin a letter like this? ‘Hi, Gale’? ‘Dear Gale,’? ‘Esteemed Professor Dekarios,’? If the greeting was this difficult, how would she even move on to the rest of the letter? She knew for damn sure that she wasn’t quite ready to be fully emotionally vulnerable, especially with him (even though he’s the only one she should ideally be emotionally vulnerable with…).

‘Welp, might as well just start,’ she said to herself as she sighed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hi Gale,  [in the top right hand corner was a little swirly doodle with some flowers and leaves. Next to it was written ‘I don’t have fancy paper, so I tried to do something cute?]

I’m having trouble starting this letter, so I figured maybe just admitting that is as good of a place as any. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what you want to hear, I don’t know what will help or what will just hurt… Here’s what I do know:

-          I’m sorry. [there are tear stains on the paper here]

-          There’s no excuse for what I did.

-          I don’t even know if I know the reason for what I did.

-          I don’t feel like I deserve your patience, your forgiveness, your mercy, anything, really. Your anger is totally justifiable.

-          I don’t know who I was that night or in the months following.

Except, I do. I’d reverted back to the person abomination I walked away from. The hateful, murderous, evil, wretched thing I said I’d never be again. Yet, I can’t claim that I wasn’t in my right mind at the time either. I never lost consciousness. I was aware of the decisions I was making. I just don’t understand why I made them in the first place, other than I’d lost hope. I’d stopped trusting you. I’d assumed you were going to leave me and go back to Mystra or pursue godhood where you’d no longer be…you. [Next to this is a small sketch of a broken heart.]

Here's what else I know:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

[Below this was another item that was heavily crossed out, but you can make out the words ‘I still’.]

(this letter is a mess, I’m sorry. I’m just…flustered)

[On the right side of the paper, there was a list of four items outlined in a rectangle, above which was written ‘Good things’ – a question mark had followed this, but it was crossed out with an X. The four items are:]

-          I took a shower today.

-          I cleaned my house for the first time in weeks today.

-          I’m going to stop drinking for a while.

-          I’m exhausted and I’m going to bed.

It’s not ‘the letter of a lifetime,’ but it’s a start. I hope you’re well and that your students aren’t giving you too much of a hassle. Can’t be as bad as slaying a whole camp of goblins, right? [Here there was a small doodle of a goblin head, X’s for eyes and tongue sticking out, laying in a pool of blood next to a sword.]

I look forward to hearing from you. Take care of yourself, please.

-Tav

P.S. I’m working on my handwriting. I’m sorry if any of this is illegible. Not really a subject that was covered in “Bhaalspawn University.”

[At the bottom of the letter was drawn a curvy vine with leaves, flowers, and flower buds.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale swallowed thickly as he held the letter in his trembling hands.

‘She did it. She actually wrote, and it wasn’t full of anger and insults. It was a real, honest-to-the-gods attempt at talking.’

His eyes shimmered as he re-read two lines over and over again:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

His heart ached as he pondered the fact that she thought so little of herself. It made him remember his inner monologue after the debacle with Mystra and the orb. All Gale told himself for a year was that he’d made mistakes so huge that no one should have to ever bear the burden of his presence again. Anyone who showed any affection towards him, platonic or otherwise, was a fool who was wasting their time. They’d just end up being let down by this depressed shadow of a former Archmage. Knowing that Tav was the one now who truly felt she wasn’t deserving of forgiveness or mercy brought tears to his eyes.

He felt a bit lighter, however, at the implication that she even cared whether or not she was worthy of him. Not only cared, but was taking bolder steps forward. She’d apologized, she’d wished him well, she’s taking care of herself… Then it dawned on him that she’d gotten so low that a task as mundane as taking a shower was to be celebrated on a list of positive things.

Oh, did he remember that pit of despair well. He’d spent a year down at the bottom of it. Cut off from all outside contact, forgetting (or refusing) to eat, going days, even a week or more without bathing because he didn’t have anyone to see anyway. No point in expending the energy.

Now, however, Gale was at least teaching. That had kept him going. Even if he didn’t interact with many people outside of Blackstaff Academy, he was still getting dressed, going to a place with other people, and teaching Faerûn’s youth to harness and control the Weave.

But what of Tav? How often was she seeing others? It seems she had relocated after all. The return address is listed in Daggerford, a town not far south of Waterdeep full of retired adventurers, artisans, craftsmen, and farmers. A relatively quiet place compared to Baldur’s Gate, but still a city with plenty of opportunities. (And only a three-, maybe four-day travel from Gale. That would explain how easily she ended up in Waterdeep in the marketplace on that cold, rainy day…).

He remembered her telling everyone how much of a hero she’d been at the reunion party. What happened to her adventuring? Would she even be home enough for their letter-writing to be consistent? She’d made no mention of her activities, that was something he’d want to follow up on. As much as it would have previously brought him satisfaction to see her put in her place for everything she’d said, cut off from others and alone, now it just caused an ache in his chest.

The threads of his bitterness and rage had already begun unraveling. He’d been letting the truth sink in since the reunion: Tav had acted reckless and lashed out because she was scared. Scared of losing him. The thought of him abandoning her for Mystra or for godhood drove her to seek pleasure in someone else. Yet he hadn’t bothered to get to the root of the problem at the time. All he knew was that he had his heart broken. He had been betrayed. He had been ‘abandoned.’

He sighed heavily as the pangs of grief and remorse started to take hold. What a fool he’d been. A self-centered, arrogant, quick-tempered fool. But he shook those thoughts out of his head. This wasn’t the time to keep dwelling on what he had or hadn’t done in the past. Where the ball of anger had resided in his chest, just as roiling and hungry as the Netherese orb had been, he felt the tension had begun to break apart. There was still much healing to do, but now there was a little room for the patience and understanding he’d wished he’d displayed before.

He re-read the letter again, chuckling lightly at her doodles and scratches. Her handwriting had much improved, she gave herself too little credit. It was good to see she still had her silly sense of humor as well. She hadn’t been completely robbed of her beautiful qualities.

Draining the last sip of wine in his cup, he arose from his spot on the balcony and walked inside to sit at his desk. One thing nagged at him before he could start writing his response, though. Underneath the bottom list where she said she didn’t deserve him, she’d written something and then furiously scratched it out. He thought he might know what it said, but didn’t want to get carried away if he was wrong. Holding the letter carefully in front of the lit candle on his desk, he stared at the scratches, trying to piece together the words underneath. His breath caught when his eyes brought them together:

‘I still’

I still… Still what? I still hear the voice of the Dark Urge? I still won’t forgive you?

No. Given the context of what was said and the direction they were going, it had to mean only one thing. He would only allow himself to think it was one thing.

‘I still love you.’

Hoping with everything he had that it was true, he took another deep breath and pulled out a scroll from his desk drawer. It was his turn now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Tav, [In small writing to the right of the greeting, it says (my ‘fancy paper’ is at the academy) with a winking face doodle.]

Sometimes I think I’d prefer a good goblin massacre to a room full of hormonal teenage wizards learning to control a firebolt spell, but each day is a new adventure, after all! [After this sentence, Gale had doodled a flame, his head/hair with wisps of smoke, and in small writing with an arrow pointing to the drawings, (I tried).]

Thank you for your thoughts, and especially for your apology. I can’t in good conscience say that everything is forgotten, but I fully believe we are on the right path forward.

I would also like to apologize, because you deserve it. You are so much more deserving than you think you are of kindness, understanding and, yes, when I am able, forgiveness. I understand, likely better than anyone else you might know, how strongly self-loathing can take hold.

Which is why I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. I don’t know what you’ve been up to in recent months. I heard you telling the others about some adventuring opportunities, but I gather from your letter that self-care had gone by the wayside. I’m proud and happy to hear that you’re starting to focus on yourself. Yes, I agree with you: showering, cleaning, limiting alcohol intake, and even being tired enough to go to bed are all good things. I hope you continue being kind to yourself.

Admittedly, I’d fallen into a similar rut. While I get plenty of social interaction at the academy, my extra-curricular life has been…non-existent. I come home to my tower, I usually remember to eat, I grade papers, stay up entirely too late researching, and then attempt to get enough sleep to repeat that schedule ad nauseum. The cleanliness of my home, and myself, had been sorely neglected. But as you are focusing on self-improvement, I shall endeavor to do likewise.

Speaking of self-improvement, that’s where the letter-writing idea came from. Rather, through Tara’s efforts to help me during my year of isolation. She’d suggested I do some journalling to write out my thoughts and emotions regarding Mystra. Not only to get them to stop rolling around in my head, but to be able to articulate them. It did help, quite immeasurably, in fact. That’s why I’m so thankful you’ve agreed to this in the first place. I feel like it will serve us well. [A filled-in purple heart was drawn here.]

Actually, I can’t tell you how many letters I started writing to you in the last six months. I really did try. It just always felt…wrong, somehow. Like it wasn’t the right time, or my words weren’t sincere, or they’d fall on deaf ears. But I’m so glad we’re ‘talking’ now. I’ve missed you, Tav… [A filled-in but broken purple heart was drawn here.]

Tell me what you’ve been up to! Tell me your thoughts. Tell me any and everything you want to. I’ll be waiting to take it all in.

Yours,

Gale

[To the left on the bottom, Gale had drawn an open book with an ink pot and a quill. In the middle on the bottom, Tara had been drawn, wings outstretched, lying down, eyes closed, with a small note: (Tara’s sleeping on my desk and she’s adorable!). On the right under his signature, Gale drew a wand with sparkling stars and a curved line of weave making a flourish.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Gale – [Here, she had drawn a wand with stars similar to the one he’d put by his name in his letter]

Thank you for saying that you’ve wanted to talk this whole time. That makes me feel so much better. I never put quill to parchment, but I started countless letters in my head. Like you said, it just never felt right. [After this, Tav drew a scroll, an ink pot, and a quill.]

This does feel like the right path at the right time, but to be honest, Gale…I’m scared. I’m scared to put everything on the table again. With how much I got we got hurt last time we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with each other, I can’t go through that again. Nor do I want you to go through it again. [Tav had drawn two filled in broken hearts after this paragraph.]

It humbles me to think you feel I’m deserving of good things. Truly. I don’t feel like I am, so I suppose it’s good that someone in this world does. Your encouragement in taking care of myself is unexpected, but ultimately not surprising. That’s just who you are. I’m thankful to hear that you’re taking it upon yourself to improve as well. [Here, Tav had drawn some grapes and cheese on a plate, and to the right of it, a broom and dust pan.]

I fully understand, however, that you can’t forgive me, at least not yet. (I wouldn’t forgive me either.) Hopefully I can begin to earn it over time. I’m not going to sit here and defend my actions with trying to find solace in Mizora’s…experience. It wasn’t even fulfilling, if it makes you feel any better. (It won’t, I know you). It was just tricks of the mind and a devil’s words of promises for things I didn’t even desire. (Perhaps the ‘old me’ would have.) I regretted it immediately, yet it has marked me forever.

But I know that how it left me afterwards is not the point. The point is why I let myself go along with it in the first place. I’ve done a lot of thinking in the last months, especially since the reunion. Let me preface this by saying that I am not shifting the blame. I still made the decision to give in. However, after days and weeks of your near-obsession with the Crown of Karsus, I could see that look in your eyes. You couldn’t stop thinking about the power it could offer. Power that we know all too well would only corrupt you and change you. Then, your meeting with Mystra, introducing her back into your life with her deal to get rid of the orb for the crown… I could feel you slipping away from me.

[On the left side by the words Crown of Karsus, Tav had drawn the crown with a big ‘X’ through it. Near where Mystra is mentioned, she drew a scared ‘Mystra,’ identified as ‘witch bitch,’ being threatened by Tav with a dagger.’]

What I should have done was keep talking to you, seeking reassurance. I should have spat in Mizora’s face and told her to get the fuck out. [In this area, Tav drew herself spitting in Mizora’s face.] I should have sought solace in your embrace, in your words, in your love… But one thing I need you to understand: I was brought up my whole life to be let down. Every success came with a defeat. Every win came with a loss. Every gift came with a sacrifice. You were the most important gift I will ever have in this world or the next. I was positive I was going to lose it, so…I don’t know. I think maybe I wanted to push it from myself first before it was taken outside of my control? Mizora approaching me with her “offer”… She knew exactly what she was doing: giving me an “out” that she knew I would take because I was at my most vulnerable.

For all my accolades being a “Hero of Baldur’s Gate” and savior to many, I clearly didn’t have the strength to stand up to her temptations. I let her use the fact that I have major trust issues to weasel her way into my deepest fears and exploit them. I didn’t have a chance. It doesn’t excuse my actions, but I hope it at least explains them.

I’m running out of parchment. You asked what I’ve been up to. If it’s of any comfort, things are going well enough. I’m eating mostly regularly, I’m keeping up with the chores, and I’m even starting to finally organize some garden space in the yard. I’m trying to spend some time outside every day, and I’ve replaced the wine with various teas. They’re small steps, but they’re steps.

I don’t know if I’ve gotten us closer to any kind of resolution, but hopefully my words can fill in some of the gaps. I look forward to hearing your response.

Thank you, by the way, for giving me something to look forward to again.

I’ve missed you too. Very much so.

Humbly yours,

Tav

[At the bottom left of the page, she drew a cup of tea]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dearest Tav, [to the right of the greeting, it says in smaller writing (I apologize for the condition of this letter. It was rather difficult to write.) The letter is littered with smudges where tears had fallen and letter had been re-written over them.]

As I wrote my last letter and have been pondering your response, it weighs on me just how grave a mistake I also made. The blame for our downfall does not fully rest with you. (Let me finish…)

Feeling like you’re not worthy, like you made too big of a mistake to recover from; you know how familiar I am with those thoughts. Looking back, this means I should have been the one who was there for you the most. Yet I wasn’t. I was the furthest one away.

I agree with you that my anger was justified. I’d felt like I’d been told I wasn’t enough for you, which is exactly what I feared from the beginning. In my mind, you had openly told the entire world that Gale Dekarios, fallen Archmage of Waterdeep, scorned by Mystra herself, could not, in fact, make you or anyone else happy. You had to go find your pleasure elsewhere.

Where my mistake lies is in never stopping to think how much you had to have been hurting in order to find solace in Mizora in the first place. I don’t think I even gave you the chance to confirm you hadn’t been possessed, quite frankly. It’s no wonder your defenses went up immediately. My reaction, while potentially understandable, was absolutely awful.

I am so sorry that I never gave you a chance to talk things through before letting my hurt and rage take over. What I should have done was walk away and screamed into the void instead of at you before hearing any kind of explanation. I suppose I figured there would never be one good enough. Never did I think until recently that I could have possibly had something to do with you feeling pushed in that direction. I should have been more reassuring. I should have given you no reason to doubt my love for you and my dedication to you.

The possibilities that came with the crown had taken over my waking thoughts, and even infiltrated my dreams. Providing an eternal life without conflicts for both you and I sounded like the perfect solution, and I became hyper-focused. You had tried telling me that you were scared, that you didn’t want me to lose my humanity. I just still thought I was smarter and had this whole grand plan all figured out and you would realize it eventually.

[Before the next paragraph is drawn an infinity symbol, a heart nestled into the loops on either side.]

But I didn’t do enough to put your mind at ease. I didn’t help you understand that I wouldn’t have actually left had it come down to choosing between you and the crown. I never, never would have left you, Tav. As I shouted rather rudely before, I only ever truly wanted you. I assumed you knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, so I didn’t spend any time reinforcing it. I let my focus drift too far. Then, I left you scared and alone afterwards with no chance to explain. I, the ex-Chosen and ex-lover of a goddess, from whom he should have learned humility after his hubris, the man to whom you showed so much kindness and understanding and support when anyone else would have run in the other direction, I couldn’t even show a fraction of that back to you.

Taviela, my heart, I am so, so incredibly sorry that I wasn’t there for you. When you pulled me from that portal and later heard my harrowing tale of foolishness and desperation, you stood by me. You took care of me and encouraged me, and I threw that back in your face at the first opportunity. It will be a long time before I can forgive myself for that. But I humbly, honestly, and hopefully ask if you could ever forgive me. I understand if you cannot, but know that I will spend the rest of my life proving myself to you.

Please keep telling me your thoughts, Tav. I want to hear them. I need to hear them.

Repentantly yours,

Gale

P.S. I’m far too emotional at the moment to do many little doodles, but yours warm my heart. Please keep doing them. [A filled in heart was drawn here. He had also drawn a simple version of the wand and stars under his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Dearest Gale, [Across the top of the page was a wand, a wavy line of weave, and small stars.]

I’ve been staring at this parchment for at least an hour, but I haven’t been able to write anything until now. I’m sobbing at your words. Your insight about everything I put you through, the weight of what happened after all your hurts and insecurities from Mystra and the orb, the fear of being inadequate to me… That weight is almost too much to bear. I’ve berated myself for months now for hurting you, but the full impact never hit me until I read it in your words. I want to fall on my knees and cry at your feet and beg for mercy. But how could you possibly ever forgive me? I’m sorrier than you will ever know for allowing you causing you to feel that way again.

Also, to think that you are taking any of this upon yourself so strongly, I really don’t know what to say about that either. I still feel like this is all due to my deficiencies. My weaknesses. My fuck-ups. But I can understand where you’re coming from, wanting to take some responsibility. All I’ll say is that there is nothing to forgive anymore. I hold no more ill will towards you. We both acted like children throwing tantrums, but we were each already pushed to our limits and didn’t stop to think about, well, anything, really.  [Tav had drawn 5 filled in hearts here, along with writing (I don’t know what else to doodle here because I’m also emotional).]

It feels cheap to keep coming back to my upbringing, but it’s an unfortunate reality where I’m concerned. Everything was always a bitter fight of either words or daggers. There was no real “communication” to speak of. There were no “feelings” shared. It was all cruel lessons with harsh punishments. ‘Be a bitch, or get walked over’ was something I told myself a lot. I never truly learned to stop and step back and give things time to breathe. Putting myself in another person’s shoes is something I’ve forced myself to learn, especially during our adventures.

I have a confession to make. When I (literally) ran into you in Waterdeep a few months ago, it wasn’t just happenstance. I’d come there with a purpose. The downward spiral had begun weeks prior and I was nearing rock bottom. I came to look for you. To see if you were possibly even half as miserable as I was without you. I was certain you would be, and that it would give me a reason to approach you. We would be on common ground and might actually be able to talk. [On the right side of the page, Tav had drawn an open book sitting in a puddle of water in the rain. On the pages of the book it said ‘I’m sorry about the books.’]

But then I saw you. You were in the marketplace, smiling, making small talk with the merchants, even laughing with them. You looked full of life. You looked like you were doing just fine – without me. My heart dropped into my shoes and I’d considered just walking away, never letting you see I was even there. But something in me snapped. I apparently just had to get in a couple more digs before I walked away forever. That was childish and unacceptable and I’m sorry I put you in that position. (I don’t blame you one bit for the Hold Person spell, for the record. I deserved it.) [Tav had drawn the symbol for the Hold Person spell here, along with Tav approves.]

Please forgive me, but I’m emotionally spent. I think I’ll wrap this up to send in the morning, go sit on the back porch with a cup of tea, and just think for a while.

Still yours,

Tav

[Along the left side of the bottom of the page, Tav drew a small flower garden. On the right side, a cup of tea.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Darling Taviela, [On the right side of the top of the page was carefully drawn an eternity symbol. Inside each side was a heart – a G written in the one on the left, a T written in the one on the right. Next to it, Gale wrote:] (I’ve been doodling this a lot lately.)

My heart aches for you, for us both. You’re right. There’s nothing to forgive anymore. We were both stretched so far beyond our limits, no wonder we broke down. We both have acted out of turn, we both have put ourselves through the wringer, and we both built impossibly high walls around ourselves. I’m happy to say that I believe we can push those walls down now. I want to move forward in whatever way we can, even if that ends up being as friends (though judging by your comments, it doesn’t sound like that will be the case, but please correct me if I’m reading the situation incorrectly).

I have a confession for you, in light of your revelations regarding our “run-in” in the marketplace. It was all an act to save face out in public. The laughter, the ‘life’ you say you saw in me, the light-hearted interactions – they were all a façade. I was miserable without you, however angry I was. After that interaction, it got even worse. I felt awful immediately, leaving you standing there shivering in the rain. [Gale had drawn a hand getting smacked by a ruler with words in a bubble outlined in sharp angles: BAD WIZARD!] I couldn’t believe that, even though there was some provocation, that I’d still reverted to such a childish response. I sank further into my depressive state. I almost didn’t come to the reunion with our companions either, actually. It felt like more of an effort to get myself put together than I was capable of. Fortunately, Tara snapped me out of it.

Speaking of Tara, I’ve been working on getting her to be more understanding. I’m sure you have noticed that her protectiveness of me overrides any kind of empathetic nature towards anyone who has caused me even a lick of hurt. But she’s come a long way in understanding both sides of our…predicament. I’ll keep at it, for both of our sakes. [A trail of small paw prints was drawn after this.]

I’m pleased to say that I’ve been keeping up with the cleaning, [on the right side of the page, Gale doodled a robed hand holding a sparking wand next to two balls of dust that look like rabbits. Underneath was written, (dust bunnies).] I feel like I finally have a handle on my students and my lesson-planning, and I’ve found joy in cooking meals again. Too much time is being spent grading sub-par assignments in the evenings, I’ll admit, but it comes with the territory. My heart has been all the lighter in the last couple of weeks, and it’s all thanks to you: your words, your patience, and willingness to work on…well, us.

What have you been up to lately? Any more adventuring opportunities coming your way? Are you doing any traveling? I wonder if there’s any chance our paths might cross in the near future.

I’ll admit, my mind has been wandering to thoughts of seeing you again. I miss the warmth of your embrace, the sparkle in your smile, the feeling of home when I look into your eyes – I feel like a part of me has been missing since our falling out.

I was actually thinking… What would you say to coming back to Waterdeep for a proper visit?

Take care of yourself, my darling [a filled-in heart was drawn here]

Gale (no fancy drawing in my name this time. Just me, missing you.) [above this, Gale had drawn a side profile of himself from the chest up, looking down, eyes closed, a tear falling from his eye.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The letters had been going back and forth at a regular, weekly pace. It was about six weeks after the reunion, which already seemed like forever ago. They had come so far, and his words made her realize that she missed him more than she knew was possible.

However, when Tav saw the last question in Gale’s letter, she froze. Her chest tightened and her breath quickened. She got dizzy, her hands shook, and her mind raced, tears threatening to overflow onto her cheeks. She was having a panic attack.

She threw the letter in her top desk drawer, slammed it shut, ran down the hall, and pulled the lever for her shower without bothering to warm the water first. Fully clothed, she stood underneath the cold deluge until her breathing slowed and she could process her thoughts.

The nausea was back. She sat on the floor on a towel and just let the water drip off her. Tucking her knees up to her chin, she stared at the wall and focused on her breathing. She wanted nothing more than for Gale to walk in the room right now, pick her up, and hold her in his lap, caressing her hair and whispering comforting words to her until she felt better. But as much as she wanted to feel his arms around her, to smell his scent, to run her fingers through his hair and more, she was absolutely terrified.

All she could think of as she started rocking back and forth was that she was going to end up hurting him again. She cried and cried until she resigned herself to lying down on the floor and crying herself to sleep, shivering in her damp clothes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week went by and there was no response from Tav. Gale tried to brush it off, attempting to convince himself that perhaps she had gotten a chance to do some traveling, and was running behind sending her letter.

Nine days went by and his resolve started to falter. He replayed every word in his head that he’d written in his last letter. Was he moving ahead too fast? Did he assume too much? Did he push her too far? He ached to see her, to hear her voice, and to comfort her. But he could NOT let himself fuck things up again…

On the tenth day, he sent just a short message in hurried writing, requested for the utmost urgent delivery.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav,

I’m truly, deeply sorry if I’m pushing you too far. You don’t have to answer the last question. We can continue just writing if that’s what makes you comfortable. I’ll do whatever you need, but I cannot, I will not lose you again.

Please, talk to me, my love.

Gale [A filled in heart was drawn after his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sleep never found him that night. He let his brain run through every worst-case scenario it could come up with. Tears were still crawling down his face every so often as he saw the faintest colors of the dawn coming to greet the eleventh day. Thank the gods he had the next couple of days off for Midsummer…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On the afternoon of the twelfth day, Tav’s response arrived. Gale didn’t even go back inside or shut the door. He ripped open the envelope and tried to steady his breathing as his shaky hands held her letter. He let himself take a deep breath and fall back against his door frame as he read:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My precious Gale,

I am so very sorry for the delayed response and for making you worry. I don’t know what came over me, but when I saw you asking to see each other again…I panicked. I had a full-on panic attack, after which, I slept for days. I lost all track of what day it was or how much time had gone by. I kept picking up my quill and the words just wouldn’t come. I’m so sorry. Your words in the message I received today snapped me back out of it. Thank you for checking on me. [A filled-in heart was drawn here.]

Gale, I can’t bear the thought of hurting you again. I’m not saying that I don’t want to see you. Believe me, nothing would make me happier. My dreams of getting to be near you, to hold you again, to be held by you, they are my greatest source of comfort. But we haven’t spent any time together in person since the reunion, and we spent months before that acting like completely different people.

What if we can’t change, Gale? What if seeing each other brings out all the anger and spite again? I can’t forgive myself, even if you have. I don’t know what to say – I can’t lose you again either, I won’t survive it. And I fear that I will become upset by something and fall back into my old ways of dealing with arguments: with juvenile pettiness and venomous words. I’m so scared…

In fact, I’m going to deflect now so I don’t dissolve into another panic attack.

To answer your other questions – honestly, adventuring hasn’t happened in a while. I was being truthful at the reunion when I said I’d been adventuring and helping people. But coming back from Waterdeep is when I started to shut everyone out. My house descended into chaotic messes that I didn’t have the energy to clean, I stopped eating regularly, I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a day, and I slept all the time. I have enough money set aside that I can get away with not working for quite a while, but that won’t last forever.

The gardening is going well now though! I haven’t killed so much as a tomato plant! I’m growing flowers and selling bundles here and there. I’m also growing my own vegetables and some fruits, though I haven’t begun selling those yet. I’m getting the itch to start baking, however… I’ve found a great deal of fulfillment in creating (growing) some kind of life now instead of dwelling on the memories of taking it. [Along the left side of the page, she drew a tomato plant crawling up the side. Along the right, she drew a plate of danishes and a cup of tea.]

I’m so sorry again for worrying you. I just froze because I don’t want you to get hurt. I’ll get this sent to you as quickly as I can, but please tell me your thoughts. I’m hoping your insight can be of some comfort.

With all my heart,

Your Tav

[At the bottom of the letter, Tav drew the same symbol Gale had been doodling on everything he could: the eternity symbol with the hearts in the middle, one with a G, one with a T. Next to it, she wrote:] (I tried… Yours looks much nicer.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My sweet Taviela, [Their infinity symbol with hearts and their initials was on the top right.]

Thank you for explaining the reason for the delay. I completely understand, and I’m sorry to have caused you to panic. If I may offer some encouragement, however, perhaps I can help quiet your heart.

Neither of us are under anywhere near the amount of pressure and stress that we were at the time back in Baldur’s Gate. We are taking care of ourselves now as individuals, fully independent of others, and neither is a crutch for the other. This bodes well for quelling any fears of being too dependent on each other for our own good.

We’ve seen what damage can be done by careless words and actions, and we’ve walked back from that ledge – together. Now we’ll be more aware of the warning signs should we become frustrated with each other again. We’ve talked about what we can do to avoid arguments in the future, like walking away for a breather, should we need to. Lest you have any unrealistic expectations, please remember that we will become frustrated with each other and we will likely have some arguments. That’s only natural for any two beings that have a close relationship. But we have some experience now and wisdom gained. I truly believe that we can be better for each other. We can change. Together. [A filled in heart is drawn here along the left side of the page.]

If you are comfortable thinking about the possibility of visiting, I have a proposition for you. Some simple guidelines that will help keep us in check as we try spending time together again, under completely different circumstances.

-          I will get you set up in a lovely room at The Yawning Portal for one week. The bartender owes me a favor for clearing out some riffraff a few weeks ago. Then you can have a place you feel comfortable retreating to without feeling trapped in my tower, should you wish to get some space.

-          So as to not put too much pressure on either of us too quickly, we can have a date each day, but we don’t spend the entire day together (at least not every day). It may be midsummer, but I still have regular responsibilities with the academy that I need to see to. Besides, that will give us time to individually reflect on our time together and how we’re feeling.

-          At the end of the week, we can talk about how things have gone and what direction we should go at that point. We won’t pressure each other, and we’ll agree that we won’t be disappointed if one person needs more time than the other. Above all, we need to make sure our friendship stays in tact.

So, what do you say? Look! I even got Tara’s stamp of approval! [On the side of the page is an ink pawprint.] (Do you have any idea how much convincing it took to get her to put her paw in ink? I owe her tuna for weeks…)

I won’t pressure you, but if you’re amenable to this plan, we can do this as soon as you’d like – even next week. Having said all that, if you still want to take things slower and keep writing letters for now, I will fully support that decision and be delighted to keep doing so.

If you will allow me, however, I would like to make one last plea: I want to see you, Taviela. I need to see you. My heart aches for you and my arms feel so painfully empty without you in them. I long to curl my fingers into your hair, to hear your contended sighs, to be lit up inside by your laughter, and, when you’re ready, to make love to you and cover you in affectionate, healing kisses until every hurtful word we’ve ever exchanged is erased from memory itself.

I know you’re scared, my darling. But I believe in us. I believe things will be different this time around. I hope and pray to every god and goddess who will listen that you can find it in your heart to take the risk.

Come here to me, my love, and we can keep walking our way forward - together. [A filled in heart is drawn here.]

I eagerly await your reply, whatever it may be.

Yours always,

Gale [A doodle of a wand surrounded by stars is by his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav’s hands trembled. Gods, she missed him so much it physically hurt. Especially now that she knew how much he was missing her as well. Sitting at her desk, she re-read his last full paragraph with tears flooding her vision and heart filling her chest, not to mention a familiar heat between her thighs. She knew at that moment that her desire and her renewed trust in Gale Dekarios FINALLY outweighed her fears. She didn’t even need to think about her response. It was short and sweet:   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale, my love, [Their eternity/hearts/initials symbol was drawn on the top right.]

I’ll set out tomorrow by horse from Daggerford and will arrive at the Yawning Portal on Sunday evening around dinner time. I sincerely hope your arms will be waiting for me, because I’ll be rushing into them the moment I see you. [A filled-in heart was drawn in.]

Just don’t be holding a stack of books this time… [ Tav had drawn a doodle of a winking face here.]

Yours always,

Tav

P.S. I doubt we’ll be waiting long for those healing kisses… I know we’re going to space out our time together, but stay with me the first night? Help me “settle in” to Waterdeep? [Tav sketched a set of lip prints in the bottom right.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tears fell from Gale’s eyes, but happy ones this time. He could tell his cheeks were flushed too from her “P.S.”… He laughed at her jab about the books, then folded up the letter and brought it to his lips, kissing the edge she would have folded with her soft hands.

He had planning to do. 

[wavyskies]

please please please ive always wanted to be a a part of editblr but idk how to even start like with the coloring and the editing so a tutorial or any tips would be greatly appreciated i really want to start making grahlpgics and rentrys but i just don't know how 😞

also i love your stuff !

Heyyyya! So, first of all, I unfortunately don't use PSDs which is most likely what you've been seein everywhere. I'd suggest askin someone else about those bc I dunno 😭

BUT! I can show you how I color mine using photopea.

There's a search (magnifying glass) icon, and you search up "gradient map." For me there are two options, the correct one will gateway to this:

Then, just for practice, here's a color pallette to practice with. For me, it's easier to copy the lightest color first then the darkest one last because you start off with the darkest usually when putting them into the gradient map.

Hex codes for this: 400E2B A61439 018868 FE5C43 FEB17D

(Note: you can find lots of great color pallettes on Pinterest, and add as many colors as you want. It will just be easier with less!)

So now that you have your colors, you press on the gradient map. These two things circles are what you press, the square part of the gradient comes first and then the second thing circled will be accessible.

Once you press it, you can paste your hex code in here:

Then repeat this with the other colors, going down the gradient line as you do!

Here's what the gradient map should look like:

Ofc, when you aren't just practicing, you can order or however you want.

Again, I would ask someone abt PSDs because this isn't the most efficient 😔

Now, for tips on editing. I've gotten asked for a lotta tutorials but they're too hard for me to manage so I'll squeeze some answers into here.

1. For resources, there are a lot on Tumblr. However! You can search up "rentry resources" on Pinterest, and there will be pins that you can click that will take you to plenty of resources. However, if it says to credit when using a resource, obviously do that lmao 😭

2. When it comes to gif graphics, ezgif.com is a go-to. When it comes to putting already moving gifs into a frame and not wanting a background, I usually use the "remove background" feature that can be located after pressing "effects" on the home screen. Now, I wanna make this VERY clear before we continue: color in the background/around your frame before putting the gif behind it. Make sure!!! Make sure that the background is a UNIQUE color compared to the actual graphic. If it isn't, the background remover will remove parts of the actual graphic.

This is where you'll put the color of what you want to be REMOVED from the graphic. You might have to play around with it for a bit though.

As for making the gif graphic that goes into this, I use inshot personally. Since the canvas won't always fit and inshots default background is black, I say try to aim for a black background to remove. If not, make sure that the graphic will fit so that it covers the entire canvas.

Example/walkthrough:

4. You can always make differences if you dislike your graphic. It's okay to take a while and go back, and even restart. You'll see a lotta people here talk about how some ways are easier than others, but honestly just play around because you might find things better for yourself compared to others.

5. When starting out on Editblr, I'd suggest NOT immediately beginning with having requests open. It can make it start out as stressful and drive you away from it. Begin with just making graphics for yourself or of things YOU'RE passionate about. Editing should be more about your enjoyment than having something shiny to show off, y'know? (That was cheesy asf)

ANYWAYS! I HAAAATE EXPLAINING THINGS! (Because I'm bad at it lmao, not in general, you're all good dw❤ /p.) Even I can't decipher what I've said here, but to be fair I wrote this during a meltdown so I get an A for effort.

Also, if you make a promo post, PLEASE TAG ME!!! /NF!!! I'll be more than happy to follow you 😮

[best-non-english-word-torunament]

Word of the week rules and submissions!

What is this?

This is no longer a tournament as that takes too much time and admin. We have also already decided that многоꙮчитїй/ mnogoočitii from Old church slavonian is the best word, so no need to do that again. Instead, I will use this blog to highlight a word (or a couple of words) every week (or other time period if the queue runs out) from languages which aren't English. This will be based on reader submissions with me editing for clarity and adding a blurb about the language, much like in the tournament.

In short, tell me about your favourite words! Let's all learn something new! (My favourite phase of the tournament was definitely research/round one)

Who are you?

I'm a linguistics student and language nerd from Sweden who decided to run a tournament of non-English words because I wanted to highlight language diversity. My native language isn't English, so please be kind if my posts are worded weirdly sometimes (or my username is misspelled lol)

What makes a word good?

There are many ways that a word can be good, but here are some examples: it sounds good/feels good to say, the script looks nice, it denotes an interesting concept, it denotes a concept you like, it does something interesting grammarwise, usagewise or soundwise, it's funny, it's an interesting/fun compound, it has an interesting/fun etymology, it just has good vibes... The possibilities are endless

Rules:

No words in English, but loanwords from English are allowed with good motivation

No conlangs (I love them but the focus is on natural language)

Words from signed languages are allowed and encouraged as long as you can provide an explanatory picture or film for the sign

Words from pidgins are allowed

Words from extinct languages are allowed

Usage should be widespread within a language community (if it isn't/wasn't used in the language it doesn't belong, neither does words only your family/friend group uses, but slang words are allowed)

No words that have appeared in the tournament or previously on word of the week (search for the word on my blog, all words are tagged)

How submissions and posting work (read these before submitting):

Each person is can make two submissions at a time. Please wait until yours have been posted before you submit more

The submission form is currently open. It will remain so until I have too many unposted submissions, then open again when those have been scheduled

If you're able to, please provide an IPA transcription for your word (the International Phonetic Alphabet has a sign for each sound used in any language, which makes transcription of exact pronounciation possible)

You will need to provide a translation/explanation of the word in English since that is the language used on the blog for ease of communication and reach. If the exact translation of a word is part of what makes the word good, please provide that too

It is possible to be credited for your submission if you want to

If more than 5-6 words in the same language are submitted, all of them might not be posted until some time has passed to avoid one language dominating

I reserve the right to pick which words I want to share if I have many submissions and don't want to do all of them. I do this in my very limited spare time because I think language is fun and if it doesn't spark joy I won't do it

Submissions will be fact-checked, edited for clarity and get a short text about the language. If I find something interesting while researching I might add a note about that as well

Have fun! I can't wait to see your submissions and learn something new!

Submit your word(s) through this form