#>> that i don't have that level of trust and comfort and connection with her and her eventually starting to violate and brainwash me >>

[acmeangel]

I’ve had this in my drafts for about 5 months because I’ve been too afraid of stirring the pot if my takes are hot, but I also really just enjoy character analysis so… this is my opinion!

Levi would not be a rough, mean dom in bed, and he wouldn’t have a high sex drive.

(CW: sex, prostitution, trafficking, all the Levi childhood things)

To start, if we look at his childhood, his mother was a prostitute in the Underground. And he was the direct product of this. While it was never specified exactly how Kuchel died — just that she was sick — I'd wager that it was almost definitely from an untreated STD; and even if not, it was precisely her dire circumstances that would've prevented her from receiving adequate treatment for any other illness. This lifestyle killed his mother, and we can see how deeply her death impacted Levi through even the smallest behaviors in his adult life; in the way he treats life as valuable, how he looks out for the young teenagers who end up on his squad, even in the way he holds his teacups. Kuchel loved him, and she was a kind person, but it didn’t matter—the world was too cruel of a place.

In Bad Boy, we see young Levi being threatened with the prospect of being sold into the same life as his mother — one of the men says, "We should make him do the same job as his mother. He might have inherited her talents." That's not something he'd easily forget, and, unfortunately, would likely be an experience that shaped his perception of self-worth, what sex is, and how the world works. This is not to say anyone is defined or shaped by their traumas, but our childhoods are very often where many of all our behaviors lead back to.

I'd imagine that if this is the life he grew up with, it would make his viewpoint on sex that it's something harmful, cruel, and unforgiving; it's a transactional means to an end, something taken with brutality, not an act of care, love, and intimacy.

There likely wasn’t anything in his life in the Underground to shown him otherwise, and he was there for all of his key, formative years. Even aside from his own personal experiences, we know that prostitution and trafficking ran rampant in the Underground—Mikasa and her mother were intended to be sold into it.

His abandonment by Kenny (who he almost definitely thought was his father at the time), only would've compounded his negative views regarding self-worth and the dysfunction/unreliability of relationships that are supposed to be caring, comforting, and nurturing. It took him decades to find out who Kenny really was or why he was abandoned—that's plenty of time for these emotional scars to cement themselves deep within him, even if subconsciously.

He'd then go on to lose basically anyone he'd ever dared to care about from that point forward—from Furlan and Isabel to the original Levi Squad to almost the entire Scout Regiment to Erwin to Hange to Sasha and Eren. Because of all of that emotional turmoil and the loss of all of his relationships that had mattered to him (despite his best efforts to keep them), I don't think emotional or physical intimacy would come easily to him or be something that he'd go out of his way to find, because why risk it? Why take the chances of getting attached to someone if your life is full of loss?

For that reason, I don't think he'd seek out sex just for the pure physical release. I think that for sex to even interest him at all, there'd have to first be a level of emotional connection and trust. With the right person, I'd reckon that over time, he'd develop a desire/need for it—it feels good physically, he'd see that it does foster intimacy, it would likely soothe some of his emotional wounds, and he'd want to please his partner. It’s also not to say he’d be overly gentle or timid or meek; but there’s a difference between passion and being rough with someone to the point of harm.

I just don’t envision him being particularly rough or dominating about it. He's not a violent or aggressive person at heart—only by necessity and circumstance. Honestly, I think, to some degree, he likely struggles internally with the super-human physical strength and fighting skills he's inherited. In my mind, it's not a far stretch to think that Levi has viewed himself as more of a tool/weapon/killer than a person, and I don't see him wanting to bring that into sex (or a relationship at all for that matter).

Levi didn’t choose to be an Ackerman/fighter — it was a perfect storm of his bloodline, Kenny’s influence, and the survival instinct necessary to live in the Underground that turned him into one. But that doesn’t mean that it’s his true nature. (Yes, he can at times reach a breaking point and lash out because he’s human, and almost no one constantly acts in line with their true nature and morality when put into dangerous, pressurized situations.)

I feel that Levi would want to avoid being violent or aggressive in an intimate setting, toward someone he deeply cares for, at all costs. Underneath his stoic exterior, crudeness, and the hardened mask he's often had to wear, he's shown to be a deeply caring, protective, and empathetic person.

Not to mention, I could genuinely see him being wary of his own sheer strength and not wanting to hurt his partner in any way or potentially scare them off, which would lead to yet another loss/abandonment.

Again, none of this is to say that a person’s trauma has to define them or shape their actions, feelings, and behaviors; but Levi is a deeply empathetic person, and I don’t see him easily shaking off seeing his mother’s tragic life, being abandoned, the loss he’s experienced, and the violence he has committed. Sure, it’s possible that after he gets into a relationship, or feels truly comfortable enough with someone, he’d be more open to different types of sex and not be as wary, but he’s just not a violent person in my eyes.

But mostly… I think, after a life of fighting and violence and aggression, he’d be eager to leave that behind when he can.

He’s not a violent dog, he doesn’t know why he bites.

This is not to discount anyone’s versions of Levi that they write/enjoy in fics/smut, I don’t really care what other people do and this isn’t about that. I’d never tell anyone what to do in regards to that. At the end of the day, we are really all just having fun here and living out our little fantasies as our our collective favorite character (I mean, I mostly write fluff pieces, so it's really not all that serious…). This just happens to be my take on Levi, it doesn’t have to be anyone else’s by any means, and I think character analysis is interesting! Pls don’t come for me, I won’t come for you!

[toscapringle]

Ragatha: I like people's take on her being autistic. I feel like she acts palatably (nice) towards everyone and quashes her anger to strengthen friendships. She has a surface level understanding of friendship, like friends are nice to each other, but doesn't understand that healthy friendships sometimes have conflict.

She literally tries to add comfort to her friends' world by framing it positively: "oh that adventure was not that bad."

She doesn't understand that when you have conflict, working through it will actually strengthen it rather than drive a wedge between you and the friend.

Hence she acts nice unless its justified from her perspective (Jax being "mean").

She also is accidentally abrasive, as an autistic person not seeing or seeing too late how something will affect someone emotionally.

Meanwhile, Jax uses violence as a defense against the pain and intimacy of having friends. He wants people to perceive him as not being their friend, while still struggling to hide his instinct to care about others. "I didn't think you cared about what other people liked." "(No) I just..." and then he's backtracking because he realizes he's having a Freudian slip, revealing his true thoughts, which happen to show he does care about others, and that they should care about him, which he can't bear to experience.

But he also calls people on their bullshit. He throws Gangle's mask to the wild beyond because he knows Gangle can't maintain a fake happy, as seen by episode 4. It's better to be honest and in pain than hiding your pain, an ideal he can't hold up for his own self.

This is why he beefs with Ragatha. He sees the shallowness in her approach to life and not only sees it as ungenuine, he also tags on that her friendship feels deceptive because of the lack of connection coming from her. I think he believes they're friends, but is annoyed by how she expresses her friendship to him. I think he also compares this type of relationship to his family's manipulative relationship with him back home (as assumed by his expression when he resonates with Ragatha's description of her controlling family in episode 5.)

He responds to Ragatha's unaploagetic positivity by criticizing her with his usual sass. Him wanting her to loosen up is showing through action, but not words, that she's a friend and no matter what she says she's still accepted. When she doesn't realize this is what irritates him, that she doesn't trust her friends enough to be sincere with them.

I think Ribbit is the only person who gets his sarcasm, can riff off it, and can see when he's genuine. In a way, Jax is isolated too. He hates evil Jax because he's probably the idealized nice polite pushover that his family wanted him to be.

Evil Ragatha is the most stereotypical evil one can be, saying negative things like "you're all going to get completely annihilated" "stupidgatha" "nobody loves you" these are all absolutes, in the same way all her positives are absolutes.

When Jax gets put in the maid outfit, he perceives it as different from his sarcasm and meanest because at least its justified. This is just cruel for the sake of being cruel.

When Ragatha actually apologizes, she first apologizes to Pomni. He then fishes for an apology on a whim in his usual critical sass, then is surprised when she actually finds something to be remorseful for and apologizes instead of criticizing him back. I don't think he was even expecting her to remember his hurt feelings from earlier (as he's so used to getting them brushed off by his own family) but they both can relate to how much true connection matters.

They're just having a hard time getting there because the lanes if communication are blocked.

[slimyenemy]

only curses are real booOoO

[faebled-stories]

Max Level: Pleasure Unlocked

Le Sserafim's Miyawaki Sakura x Male reader

AN: So... I may have been a tiny bit late to class today 😅. Why, you ask? Well... I was up all night re-watching Marry My Husband (totally worth it, btw). Anyway, fast forward to class, and I casually checked my phone, and—wait for it—WHAT?! Almost 300 likes for Ms. Kim Chaewon?! You guys are seriously amazing! 💖 This story was supposed to drop tomorrow, but because I love you all so much... here’s a little treat! 😘✨

P.S. Why is this lecture soooo long? Send help! 😂

Miyawaki Sakura, the eldest member of Le Sserafim, had found a new thrill—one that didn’t involve the stage lights or concert crowds. Live streaming had pulled her into its vibrant, fast-paced world of colorful pixels and instant connection. It wasn’t just a hobby anymore; it became her escape—a digital realm where she could unwind and be herself. Streaming offered her a space where she could share her love for video games in the most authentic way possible. Her laughter would echo through the headset, filling the room with the joy she found in navigating complex game worlds and strategizing with her audience. It was a welcome reprieve from the pressures of K-pop stardom, a place where she could exist without expectation.

But as Sakura’s love for streaming grew, so did the distance between her and Y/N. Y/N cherished their quiet evenings together—the ones filled with soft conversations, playful glances, and the warmth of shared intimacy. Now, those moments seemed to slip away, replaced by the blue glow of Sakura's monitor and the sounds of gaming filling the room. He found himself feeling increasingly sidelined, the comforting presence of his girlfriend diluted by the endless stream of fan interactions and in-game distractions. Every evening, as he sat in their apartment watching her stream, Y/N felt like a shadow in her life, forgotten behind the glow of her screen.

The silence after Sakura's gaming sessions hung in the air, heavy and unfamiliar, a stark contrast to the laughter that used to fill their nights. He would lie in bed, staring at the empty space beside him, wondering when their quiet, intimate nights had been swapped for late-night streams. The late-night absence became more palpable, the connection they once shared now buried beneath layers of bright pixels and fan interactions.

Frustrated and unsure of how to bridge the growing gap between them, Y/N turned to the one person who knew both of them best—Kwon Eunbi, Sakura's former leader and the matchmaker who had brought them together in the first place. Eunbi, always the voice of reason and support, listened with a thoughtful expression as Y/N poured out his concerns.

"I just don't know how to get her attention anymore," Y/N confessed, his voice tinged with frustration. "She used to light up when we were together, but now it feels like I'm competing with a screen."

Eunbi, ever the sage, leaned in with a twinkle in her eye, her lips curving into a knowing smile. "Well, my dear, sometimes you just need to remind her of what she's missing," she said, her tone playful yet reassuring. "There's this little shop downtown. They have... items that might help reignite that spark you're worried about. A little mystery, a little surprise—that's the key."

Y/N blushed at the suggestion, but the idea intrigued him. Maybe Eunbi was right—maybe a little spontaneity was exactly what their relationship needed. "Okay noona," Y/N said with newfound determination. "Take me there. I'll do whatever it takes."

Eunbi grinned. "That's the spirit. Trust me, after this, she'll be more than eager to spend some time away from that screen, and if it doesn't work out... you have my number" the older girl winked before giving a slightly playful slap to Y/N’s behind

As soon as Eunbi led him into the little adult shop tucked away in a quiet side street downtown, Y/N’s nerves melted into curiosity. The shop was intimate, lined with rows of items that promised to stoke passion and bring lovers closer. Eunbi was more than willing to offer her guidance, clearly enjoying herself as she pointed out various products.

"Trust me," Eunbi had said with a wink, picking up a small bullet vibrator from one of the shelves. "This one is discreet but packs a punch, It's perfect for getting things started. She won’t see it coming." Y/N’s cheeks had flushed at the thought, but the image of Sakura’s surprised reaction made her smile. It was perfect for catching his girlfriend off guard.

As they continued browsing, Y/N’s eyes landed on a sleek, curved G-spot vibrating dildo that promised deeper, more intense sensations. He couldn’t help but imagine how Sakura might respond to its use—what that extra thrill might do to rekindle the heat between them. Eunbi happily skips over to Y/N with a box that he hasn't seen before, a rabbit ear vibrator "Y/N you have to get this, I’m telling you Sakura will melt and turn to putty in your hands, I have one myself and it's pretty amazing." Y/N looked at his noona with a skeptical look. Why is she so into this, is his precious noona actually not as innocent as she portrayed to the public?

Thinking about her words he can't deny that the idea of being the one to control Sakura’s pleasure sent a surge of excitement through him. He added it to his growing selection of items.

The final addition was a delicate set of pastel pink lingerie. His girlfriend's favorite color. lace-lined and revealing, something that he knew she would love, he remembered her saying she wanted something similar to this but was always ashamed and embarrassed to buy it

Y/N picked up the set knowing how much it would make his lover feel even sexier. He could already imagine the fabric clinging to his girlfriend's skin, the look in Sakura’s eyes when she sees it. There was no doubt that tonight, he would make sure all of Sakura’s attention was focused on him.

As the duo went to the counter the current cashier was about to take a break and out comes his replacement, someone who Y/N would not have expected to work here.

"Oh Eunbi unnie welcome back Oh! and Y/N oppa, what are you doing here?" the duck looking girl squealed. To say Y/N was shocked is an understatement. His girlfriend's former members, his friends, were all so familiar with this place.

"I was showing Y/N around the store, he needed my help" Responded the eldest. "Oppa is Sakura unnie giving you a hard time?" Yena responded, causing Y/N to shrink into himself in embarrassment. 

The girl started scanning the products one by one, her curious eyes glanced back and forth from y/n and each product he bought. "I didn't think Sakura unnie would be into this, I guess she's less of a prude than I thought" At this point Y/N just wanted to leave, he slightly hid behind his noona as she started placing her own products she wanted to buy. 

"I’ll pay for it Y/N I get a discount here, just pay me back after" Y/N nodded before Eunbi tapped her card and they both left with Yena waving to them, saying that they should visit her again.

With his purchases in hand, Y/N left the shop feeling embarrassed about the whole situation but he thought about the end goal and it made him feel more confident than ever. This was his chance to break through the monotony that had settled between them.

Later that evening, back in their shared apartment, Sakura was already in the midst of her nightly streaming routine. Her set up was in the living room, per Y/N's request after waking him up way too many times. It was bathed in the soft glow of the monitor, casting a kaleidoscope of colors across her face as she engaged with her audience. Y/N, his heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and excitement, watched from the shadows, clutching the items he had bought earlier.

He knew exactly what to do.

Grabbing a piece of paper, Y/N quickly scribbled a note and held it up just out of view of the camera, flashing it at Sakura with a grin. The note read: "Since you're so into games, let's play one right now, this will be level one, don't make anything obvious, good luck."

Sakura blinked in confusion at first, her head tilting as she tried to make sense of the message. But when she looked up at Y/N’s playful expression a delicate smile spread across his lips, a knowing look in his eyes. Sakura then glanced down at her stream, her posture adjusting as if nothing had changed, she quickly muted her mic. “ Not now Y/N, I'm busy.” before turning it back on and saying her mic was glitching. But Y/N had spent too long planning this out, spent too much money to turn back now. 

Satisfied with the confusion, Y/N smiled back. The game was on.

Without another word, Y/N crouched and began crawling under the desk. Since her desk was longer than any normal person would normally have, It made the access to the prize easy for him as he just needed to go from the side, his movements smooth and deliberate, hidden from the camera’s view. Sakura’s attention was still on the screen, her voice cheerful as she interacted with her viewers, but Y/N knew it wouldn’t be long before his girlfriend’s focus would shift entirely. Beneath the desk, Y/N felt a rush of excitement as he prepared to introduce a new level of spontaneity into Sakura’s night.

The note had been the first step—a secret shared between them, a playful challenge that only the two of them would understand. What happened next was up to Y/N, and he was ready to make it unforgettable.

Y/N smirked as he slowly slid the small bullet vibrator out of its box, he wiped it with a wet wipe before lifting up the pink short skirt in front of him, He brought the toy up and pressed it against Sakura's panty-covered mound, watching with delight as the Japanese girl jolted slightly in her seat. Sakura tried her best to maintain focus on the video game, determinedly gripping her mouse and keyboard as she attempted to hide her reactions to the subtle vibrations. But Y/N could see right through her act - the way Sakura's thighs clenched together, the slight flush creeping across her cheeks, the rapid rise and fall of her chest as her breathing quickened.

To save face Sakura quickly slapped Y/N’s hand away from her wet pussy but Y/n quickly placed it back to its home.

The little vibrator buzzed away, its vibrations transmitted through the thin fabric barrier. Y/N could feel the heat radiating off of Sakura's core, could sense her wetness growing with each passing second. Sakura squirmed almost imperceptibly, fighting the urge to spread her legs further.

Sakura's game character died with a pitiful electronic squeal, breaking the spell. She blinked hard a few times, trying to regain her composure as she struggled to stay focused on the screen. Y/N chuckled quietly, pulling the vibrator away.

Rising up from his spot on the floor under the desk, Y/N made sure that he was holding eye contact with Sakura the whole way. Sakura's eyes widened as Y/N made a show of slowly swiping his fingers on the toy before rubbing them together and slowly pulling them apart a slick line of the idols juices were connecting Y/Ns fingers showing her that even though she's against it, her body doesn't lie. Y/N’s fingers were brought to his lips, eye contact still not breaking and in an exaggerated motion he licked her fingers clean. Sakura quickly glanced away, her face burning crimson now, but she couldn't keep her eyes from peeking back at Y/N. A shaky exhale escaped her lips.

Y/N just winked before reaching for a piece of paper that read Level 2 commencing before crawling back to her side of the desk, leaving Sakura even more flustered and distracted, though trying her best to play it cool. Y/N made a mental note - Sakura was even more responsive than expected. This was going to be fun indeed...

The next level involved the G-spot vibrating dildo, escalating the intensity. There was only one small thing blocking his way, deciding to deal with it he wrapped his fingers around her panties before giving it a quick and powerful tug completely ripping them. The sound loud enough to catch Sakura off guard. Shocked, the idol’s hand instinctively reached down, her fingertips brushing her now bare, wet pussy. She inhaled sharply, her body reacting to the sudden exposure, but she didn’t dare glance away from the screen.

Y/N teased her relentlessly, his fingers circling her entrance before finally pushing the toy into her slick cunt. He moved it slowly at first, letting her adjust to the sensation, feeling her muscles tighten around the intrusion. Sakura’s hand gripped her mouse tighter, her knuckles whitening as she fought to keep her composure. She nearly missed a key on her keyboard, her body betraying her as Y/N expertly played with her, pulling the toy out just as she neared the edge of release.

Her breath came in shallow, uneven pants. The subtle strain in her voice didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N, who watched with a smirk, knowing just how close she was to losing control. Yet, he denied her the satisfaction of climax, bringing her to the edge again and again only to retreat, leaving her desperate and aching.

“Fuck,” Sakura muttered under her breath, her voice barely audible as she tried to focus on her stream. Her viewers, blissfully unaware of the torment unfolding beneath her desk, cheered her on in the game, oblivious to the real game being played just out of sight.

Y/N pulled the toy away once more, but this time, Sakura couldn't hold back her frustration. "Ahh, what the fuck" she whispered harshly, trying to control her reaction. She couldn’t look down to see what he was doing, not without giving herself away on camera. She tried to push through the absence, hoping Y/N would relent, but the moment stretched on.

And then, without warning, Y/N switched the vibrations onto its highest setting and plunged it back into her, the thick dildo buried deep inside her clenching cunt, the toy felt around and lived up to its name, pressing on that spot she loved.

"AHHHH!" Sakura’s cry pierced the quiet of the room, her pussy convulsing around the toy as an intense orgasm overtook her. She barely had time to mute her mic, her thighs trembling and squeezing together, her stomach contracting as wave after wave of electric pleasure crashed over her. Her body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending alight with sensation

Her game character spun wildly on screen, her mouse jerking out of control as her body seized up. Her viewers, concerned but unsuspecting, quickly flooded the chat with messages.

"Are you okay? What happened?" one asked.

"You just screamed like you saw a ghost, lol," commented another, oblivious to the real reason behind her outburst.

Sakura’s cheeks burned with humiliation. They had heard her, but thankfully they couldn’t know the truth—how their sweet, innocent idol was secretly being driven to the brink of madness by her boyfriend under the desk. With a shaky breath, she forced a laugh. "Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I thought I saw a bug under the desk," she lied, her voice higher than usual, the embarrassment clear. "You know how I get when it comes to bugs!"

Her viewers, still clueless, accepted the explanation, laughing along with her as they playfully scolded her for getting so worked up over something so trivial. But Sakura’s mind was far from the stream now. The aftershocks of her orgasm still rippled through her, and she bit her lip hard, willing her body to calm down. The irony wasn’t lost on her—here she was, playing the role of their wholesome crush while secretly being ravaged by Y/N just out of sight.

Satisfied for the moment, Y/N leaned in and gave her sensitive pussy a slow, teasing lick, sending another shiver through her body. Her thighs trembled, clenching around his head as his tongue worked its magic. She didn’t want to admit how much she missed this—missed him—but the pleasure coursing through her veins made it impossible to deny. He left a final lingering kiss against her soaked lips before pulling away, leaving her panting and desperate for more.

As Y/N stood, he reached for the final toy in his collection, pulling the rabbit-ear vibrator from his bag. His fingers traced the packaging—Rabbit Ear Toy: Maximum Clitoral Stimulation—and a grin spread across his face. The playful sparkle in his eyes revealed his mischievous intent, recalling how Eunbi had enthusiastically recommended this particular device. With a small chuckle, he knew this would be the perfect grand finale to their secret, unspoken game.

Y/N scribbled a quick note—Level three, good luck—and slid it over to Sakura. Her gaze flicked to him, and their eyes met briefly. A silent exchange of both anticipation and trepidation passed between them. The tension hung thick in the air, a blend of excitement and nerves that only heightened the moment. Sakura’s cheeks flushed as her fingers hovered over the keyboard, pretending to remain focused on the game, but her attention was split, knowing what was coming next.

As Y/N shifted back into his familiar spot under the desk, his breath hitched in anticipation. It had become his little domain, a place where he could send Sakura into oblivion without her viewers being any the wiser. He carefully unwrapped the vibrator—an egg-shaped toy, compact but powerful. The soft, flexible rabbit ears promised an intensity that could tip her over the edge with just the right pressure. His hands, steady and deliberate, moved between her legs, teasing her for a moment. The toy slipped between her folds, refusing to cooperate at first, but Y/N’s persistence paid off. He finally nestled it perfectly in place, the rabbit ears snugly embracing her clit.

For a second, he paused. The anticipation in the room grew thick as Sakura shifted in her chair, her breaths shallow. The tension between them felt electric. Y/N knew what this small delay would do to her—he was prolonging the inevitable, letting her body crave the release that was just out of reach. Then, with a press of the button, the vibrator buzzed to life.

The effect was immediate. A surge of pleasure ripped through Sakura’s body, her muscles tensing as the toy began its relentless rhythm. She bit down hard on her lower lip, trying desperately not to give herself away. The overwhelming sensation sent waves of heat cascading from her core, and her hands trembled as they hovered over her mouse and keyboard, trying to maintain some semblance of control. Her breath came in short, shallow bursts, her body writhing ever so slightly, desperate to remain still for the camera.

Her chat lit up with messages of encouragement. Her viewers had no clue the real battle she was fighting—the one between maintaining her composure and succumbing to the pleasure that was quickly unraveling her. The boss fight on screen grew more intense, each phase of the battle requiring her utmost focus, but her concentration wavered with every flick of the vibrator against her clit. It was nearly impossible to think, let alone execute precise game mechanics, as the rabbit ears worked her over with merciless efficiency.

Sakura whispered to herself, “Y-You’ve got this, Sakura!” Her voice was strained, too high-pitched to mask her struggle, but she plastered on a wide smile for her audience. Her hands shook violently now as they moved across the keyboard, trying to keep up with the rapid pace of the game. Her pulse raced in sync with the toy, the pleasure mounting to unbearable levels.

The boss’s health bar ticked down in sync with her endurance, her every keystroke becoming sloppier, more frantic. As the final blow landed and the boss collapsed in defeat, Sakura could no longer hold back. Her body convulsed as the climax hit her like a tidal wave. A guttural shout escaped her lips as she slammed her hands down on the desk, her voice cracking with a blend of triumph and carnal release.

“YESSSS!!” she screamed, her eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving with the force of the orgasm that ripped through her. Her muscles clenched, and her toes curled as the vibrator continued its assault, drawing out every last ounce of pleasure until she was utterly spent.

Her viewers erupted into cheers, congratulating her on the hard-earned victory. Oblivious to the real reason behind her breathlessness and the flush on her face, they celebrated her skill and persistence. The screen flashed with messages of admiration, and Sakura forced herself to sit up, her body trembling with the aftershocks.

“Whew… that was intense!” she gasped, wiping away the sheen of sweat on her forehead. Her hand reached for her water glass, her fingers still trembling slightly as she took a long, much-needed drink. “Thanks for cheering me on, guys,” she added with a weak laugh, masking the exhaustion coursing through her.

As Sakura leaned back in her chair, Scrolling through other games to hopefully find a good one to end the night, Y/N, who had been patiently watching her recovery, wasn’t quite done yet. A devilish grin played on his lips as he leaned forward, his finger hovering over the vibrator’s controls. Without warning, he cranked the toy up to its highest setting.

The sudden jolt of the vibrator sent Sakura reeling. Her body stiffened, eyes widening in shock as the intensity of the stimulation threatened to unravel her all over again. Her breath hitched in her throat as her muscles tensed, gripping the arms of her chair to ground herself. Y/N’s laughter echoed softly from beneath the desk, watching her fight the new wave of pleasure with a mixture of amusement and satisfaction.

Sakura, the ever-composed streamer, found herself on the precipice of a new kind of experience. The powerful vibrations of the new toy sent shivers through her body, a primal force that ignited a wildfire of anticipation within her. Her body responded with a raw, undeniable intensity, the moisture building until it seeped through her folds, dripping off the chair and leaving a glistening trail on the floor. The sweet scent of candles that once permeated the room was quickly overtaken by the pungent aroma of her arousal, a testament to the burgeoning passion that consumed her.

As the pleasure reached its crescendo, a surge of instinct took over. With lightning-fast reflexes, Sakura muted her microphone and switched off her camera, craving the sanctuary of privacy for the intimate storm that was about to break. The online world faded away, and she surrendered completely to the throes of ecstasy.

The timing was impeccable. As Sakura neared her peak, Y/N, her boyfriend, seized the moment. He seamlessly combined the pleasure of the vibrator with the intimacy of his mouth, diving forward with a ravenous hunger. His tongue explored the depths of her, savoring her taste and fueling the fire that burned within her. Each flick and swirl of his tongue sent shockwaves of ecstasy coursing through her body, pushing her closer and closer to the edge of oblivion.

The combined sensations were too much for her to bear, and with an animalistic moan escaped Sakura's lips, a guttural sound intertwined with a scream that seemed to rise from the very core of her being. "UGH FUCK YEEESSSS Y/N!" Her voice was a raw expression of unrestrained pleasure. She grasped his hair, her body convulsing in a wave of ecstasy. Her legs lifted and wrapped around him pulling his face impossibly close to her core, her muscles contracting and relaxing with each tremor, the old gaming chair squeaking in protest with every movement. Her cheeks flushed a vibrant hue, a visible marker of her heightened state as she rode the wave of her orgasm with unbridled abandon, her breasts heaving with each ragged breath. Sakura climaxed with a force that left her breathless and trembling. Y/N continued his ministrations, prolonging her orgasm until she felt every ounce of pleasure.

For Y/N, the experience was both exhilarating and intensely intimate. He couldn't see anything; his vision was blocked by Sakura's body. Each subtle movement sent shivers down his spine—her soft skin felt warm and alive against him, her thighs encasing his head in a passionate vice that was as constricting as it was pleasurable. it was just the two of them, enveloped in a cocoon of heat and desire.

This was a Sakura he rarely saw, one that lay hidden behind the carefully curated persona of her online streams. In those moments, she had shed the facade of the cheerful, bubbly entertainer and revealed a side of herself that was raw and unfiltered. It was the Sakura from before her streaming career, the girl who had always been playful and spontaneous, exuding an authentic vulnerability that left him breathless. Her laughter echoed in the confines of his mind as he realized how seldom he’d had the chance to witness this intimate version of her.

The chaos of streaming and the demands of her audience faded into the background, replaced by a potent chemistry that crackled between them. His own heart hammered against his ribs, a frantic drum echoing the urgency of the moment, while his breath hitched at the raw display of passion and surrender before him. Every heartbeat was a reminder of how deeply and irrevocably he craved this connection.

This moment carved a permanent mark on him, etching itself into his memory like a secret tattoo. It was a reminder of the beautiful, complex dynamics that fueled their relationship—beyond the streaming lights and scripted interactions lay a blend of affection, longing, and a hint of danger. Their souls intertwined in this rare instance, revealing as much about their hearts as it did about their desires. The very essence of their bond lay anchored in these fleeting but fervent exchanges, making each encounter a treasure and a risk he was willing to embrace.

Sakura's breath came in ragged gasps as she slowly released her hold on Y/N, her legs trembling, weak from the intense stimulation. The room seemed to amplify all her senses, the cooling sensation of sweat mingling with her skin a stark contrast to the recent heat. Her legs, barely able to support her, struggled to find their footing as she fought to regain her composure. The assistant to her pleasure, the formidable toy that had helped push her to the edge of chaotic bliss, lay on the floor, a glistening reminder of the storm that had just passed. Its surface, coated in her essence, served as a tangible testament to her unleashed passion.

Realizing that her momentary loss of control had severed her connection with her viewers, Sakura quickly attempted to regain her composure. Her cheeks flush with a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability. But before she could complete the act of resuming, Y/N’s steady hand came to rest against her thigh, gently halting her fidgeting. Kneeling between her legs, his tall frame allowing him to almost come face to face with her, their eyes meeting in a moment that felt both electric and profoundly intimate.

Sakura's mind swirled with a haze of emotions, a flicker of melancholy washing over her like a soft tide. She missed these moments—the brief interludes where they could shed their roles and embrace a deeper connection, where laughter and genuine emotion melded seamlessly into something more. Each stolen glance, every shared laugh had been a thread weaving them closer, and yet, amidst the chaos of their lives, she felt those threads fraying, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

In that heavy silence, Y/N reached for her, his fingers warm as they gently cupped the back of her head. There was no need for words; his eyes spoke volumes, conveying understanding and longing in a single gaze. Then, with a tenderness that sent shivers down her spine, he leaned in and sealed their lips together in a passionate kiss. The flavors of her arousal mingled with saliva—a delicious, intoxicating symphony that danced on their tongues, each movement igniting a fire deep within her core.

Sakura was momentarily consumed by the warmth of his embrace, every worry dissolving into the sweet elixir of their connection. But as the kiss lingered, her heart raced at the thought of what lay beyond this moment. Still lost in the afterglow, Sakura whimpered softly when Y/N finally pulled away, his lips brushing against hers gently as they parted. His gaze held her captive, a silent promise lingering in the space between them, but it only deepened her desire, leaving her craving more.

This was the testament to their bond—a connection that blossomed amidst the chaos of her storm, a lingering whisper of hope amid uncertainty. She knew she couldn’t let this slip through her fingers again, not when they had ventured into a territory that felt so beautifully raw and undeniably real.

But as the seasoned entertainer she was, she corrected her streaming gadget, turning her webcam back on and adjusting her microphone. Her face, still flushed from her recent exertion and her lips swollen, was now contorted into an apologetic smile as she addressed her audience, hiding the true reason behind her sudden departure by blaming it on unpredictable internet issues.

"Sorry about that, guys," she panted, her voice slightly uneven with the remnants of her peak. "We had a little technical glitch," she continued, her eyes sparkling with a mischievous hint that was not quite caught by her virtual audience.

The chat, a flurry of messages, was filled with questions and mild irritation. Her viewers were curious, their previous excitement now shifted to suspicion and a growing sense of doubt . They wondered what had caused such a sudden disruption. Yet, despite their curiosity, they respected her privacy, unwilling to push for explanations that she was not willing to give until she was ready. In their minds, the truth of her interruptions could often be their most decadent fantasies, creating an air of mystique and allure around her that kept them coming back for more. Sakura, a master of her craft, knew how to keep her audience hooked, turning even a glitch into a potential performance enhancement, as her viewers' imaginations filled in the blanks left by their sudden disconnection.

Y/N, with an air of mystery swirling about him, gracefully emerged from under the desk, his presence suddenly filling the room with an electric energy. As if appearing from the shadows, he moved with a fluidity that captivated Sakura, drawing her gaze irresistibly. From his vantage point behind the monitor, Y/N's eyes met Sakura's, a hint of mischief dancing in their depths.

His movements were deliberate, with a rhythm that matched the beating of Sakura's heart, as if he were conducting an intimate dance where only the two of them could hear the music. The fact that he planned this whole thing gave Sakura a warm feeling. The remnants of their shared passion became a declaration of love, a promise of intimacy, and a reaffirmation of their bond.

Satisfied with his thorough work, Y/N offered Sakura a look, his eyes darting back and forth from Sakura and a bag that was placed just to the side. A secretive smile playing upon his lips. It was a silent challenge, an invitation for Sakura to join him in their next adventure. Turning away, he walked calmly towards the bedroom.

As he cleaned the toys and meticulously arranged them in their new resting place, the nightstand, Y/N took the time to appreciate the small details of their shared space. The nightstand, once merely a piece of furniture with no purpose, now held a whole new meaning, a symbol of their intimate connection.

Sakura remained seated, her breath catching in her throat as Y/N disappeared into the shadows of the bedroom. The atmosphere lingered with a charged energy, the room still humming from the intensity of their shared moment. Sakura’s mind raced, replaying the image of Y/N’s mischievous smile, his teasing, deliberate movements, and the unspoken promise that hung in the air like a secret waiting to be unraveled.

For a moment, Sakura sat frozen, the temptation pulling her forward. She felt a surge of warmth radiate through her, a tug towards the bedroom where Y/N awaited, his presence as enticing as ever. The weight of their connection, unspoken but deeply understood, anchored her as she ended the stream and rose from her seat.

Sakura’s eyes fell to the bag on the floor, under the coffee table, its presence both familiar and intriguing. She had seen Y/n walk in with it  earlier but hadn’t given it much thought in the midst of her stream. Now, as the evening light dimmed into twilight and the apartment grew quieter, curiosity took over. Slowly, she bent down, her fingers brushing against the soft fabric of the bag as she picked it up. It was a simple gesture, yet it sent a ripple of anticipation through her. 

Peeling back the wrapping, her breath caught when her eyes landed on the contents. A stunning set of lingerie lay folded neatly inside, the color immediately striking her—her favorite color. The rich, silky fabric shimmered slightly in the low light, delicate lace tracing intricate patterns along its edges. She lifted it out of the bag, feeling the cool smoothness of the material slip between her fingers. The fabric felt luxurious, softer than she imagined, and as she held it up, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

Y/N had remembered.

In the whirlwind of their lives, it wasn’t often that someone paid attention to the small details, but Y/N always had a way of doing just that. Not just any lingerie, but a set that spoke to her tastes, a color that made her feel powerful, beautiful, sexy. The care and thoughtfulness behind it warmed her from the inside, the kind of warmth that settled deep, in the quiet places of the heart.

Sakura didn't waste time, a surge of excitement bubbling up inside her. Without even heading to the bathroom, she began to undress right there in the middle of the living room. Her body was sore, every muscle aching from the games “levels”, but the thrill of the moment outweighed the discomfort. She moved slowly, peeling away the layers of her clothing, and as each piece fell to the floor, she felt lighter. Her breath hitched when the cool air of the room brushed against her bare skin.

Pulling the lingerie up over her legs, she marveled at how perfectly it fit, as if it had been crafted just for her. The lace clung to her curves in all the right places, accentuating her figure in a way that made her feel both strong and undeniably feminine. She caught a glimpse of herself in the nearby mirror and paused for a moment. The reflection staring back at her was striking—she looked lovely and powerful. The fatigue that had settled into her bones seemed to dissipate, replaced by an invigorating energy, one that thrummed beneath her skin like a quiet storm ready to break.

Her gaze shifted from the mirror to the slightly ajar bedroom door, and that’s when she felt it. The pull. It was almost magnetic, an invisible force drawing her toward Y/N. There had always been something between them ever since they met, something more than words or physical attraction. It was an unspoken connection, a shared intimacy that went beyond the surface of things. Y/N had a way of turning even the smallest gestures into something profound. A simple gift of lingerie wasn’t just a gift; it was a conversation, an invitation, a reminder of the bond they shared.

Sakura’s heart raced as she stood at the threshold of the bedroom, her hand resting lightly on the doorframe. From where she stood, she could see Y/N’s silhouette bathed in the soft, golden glow of the bedside lamp. The room itself was dim, quiet, filled with the gentle hum of the night outside. Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, his posture relaxed but his eyes sharp, focused. There was a look in his gaze—one that she knew well. Mischief, affection, desire, all wrapped into one.

Her breath caught again, but this time it wasn’t the cold air or the tightness of the lingerie. It was the way Y/N looked at her. As if she were the only thing in the world that mattered in that moment. As if the night was theirs and theirs alone.

Without breaking eye contact, Sakura stepped inside the room, her bare feet soundless against the wooden floor. The door clicked shut behind her, the soft sound echoing in the quiet. It was as if the outside world ceased to exist, leaving only the two of them in the cocoon of their own making. The air between them was thick with anticipation, with the unspoken promise of what was to come.

Y/N didn’t move, didn’t say a word. His gaze traveled over her slowly, taking in the sight of her standing before him in the delicate lace and silk he had chosen. The corner of his mouth lifted in a small, appreciative smile, but there was something deeper in his eyes—a smoldering intensity that made her heart skip a beat.

She moved closer, the space between them shrinking with every step. Her own breathing had become shallow, her pulse quickening in response to the heat building between them. It wasn’t just about the physical desire; it was the emotional weight of everything they had shared, everything they had been through together, all condensed into this one, intimate moment.

Sakura reached the edge of the bed, standing just before him, her body illuminated by the soft, golden light. Y/N reached out, his hand gently grazing her thigh, his fingers brushing over the delicate lace. His touch was light, teasing, sending a shiver up her spine. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the sensation, the feeling of his skin against hers.

He had given her so much today, endless pleasures each one more intense than the last. But now, as she stood before him, she knew the time had come, it was his turn. She smiled, slow and teasing, as her fingers toyed with the straps of the lingerie. She leaned in, her lips brushing against his ear, her voice a soft whisper filled with promise.

"You’ve given me so many gifts today baby. Now it’s your turn to unwrap your present." 

She gave him multiple kisses from his neck to his cheek, ending with a needy one on his lips.

“Since you're so into games, let's play one right now,” her words mimicking those that started this whole thing.

The night had just begun, filled with endless possibilities Sakura's situation mirrored her favorite games. She had failed multiple times but knew that this was a fresh start, an extra life, With a smile she positioned herself face to face with his crotch and pulled down Y/N's pants exposing his member, she gave the tip a quick kiss and lick, before reminding him that singing was not the only thing her mouth was used for.

Miyawaki Sakura was back on level one.

[beifong-brainrot]

I do find it annoying how a lot of Zutara fans tweak the character's stories, personalities and even the timelines to suit their own needs.

Once again, there's nothing wrong with fanon and headcanons, however if looking through the lense of canon, you're objectively wrong.

I ended up stumbling on a post from a Zutara shipper. (At this point I'm regretfully considering not following the tags for Zuko or Katara because I get way too much Zutara content lol) I'm not replying directly to her because I don't want this to turn into an argument, and I know she doesn't take criticism very well.

Ok, So let's break this down.

The character who was first out of the group to trust Zuko?

I'm quite sure this is referring to the scene in Ba Sing Se's caves. And yes, that is a very important scene. I think it's a very important scene preceeding Zuko's 'relapse'. It shows how he's matured during his time in Ba Sing Se and therefore it serves to add to our dismay when he joins Azula. I adore the fact that Zuko's journey to redemption is not linear, it certainly adds a lot to the character and shows us how his trauma affected him.

It's also a horrific moment for Katara. To have her worldview on Zuko and firebenders as a whole challenged, and then for it to go blowing up in her face. It rips open old wounds of her childhood. It refreshes her resentment of Zuko and the Fire Nation as a whole. It parallels the death of her mother when Aang dies due to Azula's lighting and she is unable to do anything about it. It places her back in that spot of helplessness. Even though she's grown up, even though she's a master waterbender, she still comes a hair's breadth to losing one of the most important people in her life.

No wonder she hated Zuko so much after this.

It's an important moment for both characters, but I wouldn't say it is that in a romantic sense. It's a sweet, hopeful moment that then turns absolutely horrific and visceral for both parties.

I could argue that there are other characters who could be given the title of 'first to trust Zuko'. Funnily, Appa being one of them lol.

But other characters trusting Zuko dovetails nicely into the next point.

The character who emotionally connects to Zuko?

Well, technically, I'd argue that most members of the Gaang connect emotionally on one level or another with him?

But I'd argue that Aang is the person Zuko connected with the most. Aang is Zuko's parallel. Aang is the first person to reach out to Zuko. Aang is the person who showed mercy to Zuko, multiple times. Aang is the person who valued Zuko's life, the life of someone whose whole life goal is to capture him.

This was also an incredibly important moment to Zuko. This is the thing he brings up when trying to convince the Gaang to let him join.

Zuko: Why aren't you saying anything? You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me.

The character Zuko feels safest letting his guard down around?

It's Mai. Love her or hate her, her relationship with Zuko is incredibly important to him. Maiko isn't my favourite Zuko ship, in full honesty. But even platonically, Mai and Zuko are one another's reprieve from their respective shitty lives.

People often talk about Katara touching Zuko's scar while discussing healing his scar, however one could argue that she did so as a medical examination. Mai touching Zuko's scar is a casual thing, neither of them really make a big deal of it and that's the beauty of it.

I'm mainly talking out of my own personal experience, as someone with a huge amount of burn scars, but there is a world of difference between someone inspecting my scars like Katara did and simply accepting them as a part of me, like Mai does for Zuko.

With Mai, Zuko isn't the scarred banished prince, Ozai's son or Azula's brother. He's just Zuko. And they speak freely with one another, arguing like real people do. Often, being comfortable having arguments is actually a sign of being comfortable with one another.

The character who helps Zuko heal from his trauma?

Once again, this is a bit of a flawed question. By the end of the show, Zuko isn't even fully healed, in my opinion. He has made leaps and bounds on the road to recovery, but when he will truly heal if ever is yet to be seen.

Zuko's journey to recovery includes plenty of people. This includes Iroh, Aang, Song and Jin. People who show him the error of his coping mechanism. Who challenge his worldview, who coax him out of the his shell of pain and anger.

The character known for showing most compassion to others?

Yes, Katara's compassion is a huge part of her character. Her need to help and protect those who cannot do that for themselves cannot be understated.

But Aang's compassion for others and all beings is just as great, if not greater than Katara's. Compassion and nonviolence are huge parts of his culture and his own philosophy.

Aang: Wait, we can't just leave him here. Sokka: Sure we can. Let's go. Aang :No, if we leave him he'll die. Aang airbends himself off Appa and retrieves Zuko, bringing him to Appa. Sokka: [Sarcastically.] Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. Let's bring the guy who's constantly trying to kill us.

Friendly reminder that Aang could've absolutely wrecked Ozai, but held back because his own moral compass was so powerful. Hell, he was friendly and nice to Azula, the woman who literally killed him.

This is why Aang and Katara work so well together. They're both incredibly compassionate people who will immediately jump in to help others in need. Like they did during the Painted Lady, destroying the factiry together.

The character who primarily bears the burden of having to step up into a parental role?

I think "parental role" is an incredibly vague term. There's a lot of things that go into a "parental role". Katara plays a stereotypically "maternal" role, while someone who plays a "paternal" one would probably be Sokka.

Katara deals with very "homemaking" tasks like sewing and cooking, etc. And Sokka often takes on the role of leader, hunter, gatherer and also protector, despite being a nonbender.

This coincides nicely with their core childhood traumas. The loss of Katara's mother impacted her greatly, leading her to have to step up into a motherly role. While Sokka was clearly heavily traumatised by his father departing and the crushing responsibility of having to care for his entire village.

Sexism also probably played a part in this dichotomy.

The character who represses their emotions to be strong for others?

I'd argue that this could apply to all the members of the Gaang in some capacity.

Aang's pain is something most of us will never experience and cannot hope to understand. The complete horrific destruction of his culture and home followed him through the entire show. He was entitled to his grief and rage, yet he supressed it. We see during Appa's kidnapping, how easy it would be for Aang to rage, to let himself be destructive. And yet, he wakes up every day and chooses to smile and goof off, because his friends need someone to remind them how to be children.

Sokka puts on a very impressive bravado, despite having a lot of insecurities. However, as the oldest member of the Gaang (pre Zuko) he puts on a facade of the confident and unbothered older brother. Even if he's the butt of almost every joke, he still keeps that demeanour up, letting it slip only a few times.

I'd actually argue that Toph is the person whom this label fits best. While we know Toph as witty, callous and strong, we have to remember that she kept up the facade of her parents' good, helpless little blind girl for no reason other than her mother and father's comfort. She actually hides a lot of her hurt, covering it up with a prickly exterior.

I want to do longer think pieces about Toph and Katara so apologies if this isn't complete.

I'm actually baffled by the idea of Katara repressing her emotions. She's actually quite straightforward and open about her feelings. She yells and feels a lot of emotions and lets them be heard. She gets angry and sad. She's actually kinda bitchy sometimes and that's honestly why I love her so much.

The whole inciting incident of the show was her getting so pissed off she somehow pulls a giant iceberg from the bottom of the sea.

She is anything but repressed.

She is angry.

She's angry at the fire nation, at Sokka, at her father, at men, and with good right to be so.

This is what makes her an amazing character and one who broke the mould of a lot of female characters at the time. Her anger and unrestrained emotions rang true with a lot of watchers at the time. I'm not sure why this is being taken away from her rather than celebrated.

I reiterate the point I made at the beginning of this post: there is nothing wrong with headcanons and fanon interpretations for one's enjoyment. I do find it a bit odd when it changes a character too much (because then, why not just create an oc?) but it's all in good fun. However, you shouldn't push that onto other people and how they perceive canon and you certainly shouldn't use it to take away from other characters. It's a very unfair way of entering discourse.

[wistfulnightingale]

Facing Loneliness (or, Reaching Out in Courage)

[Part 1 of "Loneliness, in Good Omens"]

This moment doesn't look right, does it?

Aziraphale is alone. Existentially and Totally ALONE. Really, he always has been. In Heaven, on Earth, in all the flashbacks we see throughout history, there isn't one moment where we see our angel in a mutually companionable, understanding, open-hearted interaction with anyone -- until Crowley.

Specifically Crowley the demon, actually. When they first meet in Heaven as angels, Aziraphale is eager to please and earnest to advise and protect his new "friend" -- but there is no genuine connection in response. When the Starmaker shields Aziraphale with his wing, it is simply a kindness, a courtesy. We already know that this moment has great symbollic significance Later. It's a sweet foreshadowing of a much more meaningful wing sheltering on a Garden wall.

The Starmaker, however much we love him, doesn't even care what Aziraphale's name is. He views Aziraphale as a Being of no particular significance, which Aziraphale is well aware of. It seems Aziraphale even expected it. He puts himself at a lower station, and stays there until he drifts upwards during his earnest and protective protest.

And why not expect to be "lesser"? In each interaction we see Aziraphale having with angels throughout time, all but Muriel talk down to him, frown at him, berate him or ignore him. Even the "background angels" who appear to Job and Sitis don't greet or smile at or even acknowledge Aziraphale when he arrives. They merely look.

Aziraphale is Profoundly Alone. No one else sees him. No one else has any sympathy for his thoughts and perceptions. Even dear Muriel, herself totally isolated from others, has no ability or experience to connect her to Aziraphale or to understand his concerns. Everyone else sees Aziraphale as odd, "not like us", and lesser.

Until Crowley.

There. Now the scene feels -- right. It's FIXED.

Each time we see Crowley and Aziraphale meet, they share an understanding, an affinity. Yes, yes, I know -- Aziraphale sporadically spouts off the heavenly rhetoric! But look at his actions... Listen to the rest of how he relates to Crowley. The smiles, the physical closeness, the comfortableness. Even though Aziraphale is profoundly uncomfortable with himself, he reveals his authentic feelings to Crowley, from the Beginnings.

His upset, his pain, his empathy, his tearfulness. His clenched jaw and tightly pressed lips. His rejection of any cruelties, even if they come from heaven. Aziraphale reaches out beyond his loneliness. He shouldn't feel safe with a demon, any demon. But this demon is different. Aziraphale does feel safe -- or at least, as safe as he can feel within a system set out to control and punish. Crowley has the courage to show his genuine self to Aziraphale. Aziraphale responds with the courage to reveal his genuine emotions to Crowley.

By the time they meet again in Uz, each on assignment for the God/Satan bet, Aziraphale is quite comfortable dropping his performance-level facade and being quite natural as soon as he recognizes Crowley.

I'm always struck by how, in their confrontation about the fate of Job's kids, Aziraphale says, "I know the angel you were." Perhaps he did, and we just weren't privy to seeing something more positive in heaven after that first meeting. It seems to me, though, that Aziraphale trusts Crowley to not harm the children precisely because he knows THE BEING HE IS NOW.

And Crowley knows the Being that Aziraphale is now, beyond all the angelic-brainwashing rhetoric. He trusts this angel, this empathetic, softly rebellious, valliant and silly and slightly pompous angel. Crowley (still "Crawley" at the time) reveals his own very dangerous secrets of his disobedience to Hell's cruelty. He didn't even destroy Job's innocent goats, and has no intention whatsoever of harming Job's innocent children. He gives Aziraphale the clues, and waits for the Angel to catch up.

It's a huge moment of trust, as the tension on his face verifies.

The intense strengthening of their bond, even at this early stage, is so obviously shown. Aziraphale quickly becomes even more relaxed and genuine. Familiar with putting on an act, he teases Crawley for the performances he puts on, both for the courtyard crows and for the flaming drama to get the kids into the basement. Whether he can admit it openly or not, they are now friends.

Crawley, in turn, becomes surprisingly open, playful, and honest. His dark glasses remain off. He stops hiding himself, and lets Aziraphale see him fully again. Then, like actors on a stage, he and the angel take turns in a grand spectacle of showmanship for the kids -- and each other!

We all know how the rest of the story progresses. Aziraphale fully trusts that the children are Perfectly Safe with Crowley. The kids are turned to lizards to protect them (and for being annoying -- tho not Jemimah of course!), Crowley "tempts" Aziraphale, Aziraphale gets meat sweats, Crowley lounges and drinks Job's wine, Crowley is a demon who "goes along as far as he can", Job gets to ask the questions, Bildad the Shuhite teams with Aziraphale and together they save the day, and Aziraphale lies to protect the children.

Each step along the way is another bond of trust between Aziraphale and Crowley. Each act of being a little more genuine, a little more open, brings them closer together. A bridge across the loneliness.

Watching God speak to Job was a powerful shared experience. Angel and demon both felt such longing, even if for different reasons. They were standing so close together... a team, a group of two, on the same side, wanting very similar things.

After Aziraphale defies Heaven and they save Job's children, Aziraphale is encompassed by not only dread, but an intense loneliness. He knows he has made decisions that pull him away from the already tenuous heavenly support he had. Not only is he having different experiences on earth than heaven's angels -- he is now embarking on a separate path.

Aziraphale has become something new. He's not compliant with heaven, nor is he Fallen. He's "just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can."

Crowley, likewise, is something new. He's not compliant with hell, nor is he truly demonic. He's just a demon who goes along with Hell as far as he can.

When Crowley follows Aziaphale to that sunbaked shore, when he sits on that rock, and listens, and shows such compassion, he makes an incredibly profound choice that impacts through the ages. Crowley reaches out of his own existential loneliness in an extraordinarily vulnerable way. Perhaps, like some say, Crowley "fell in love" with Aziraphale on that Garden Wall in Eden -- but this is the moment he truly chooses to be his Friend.

Or maybe that choice, as well, was made on the stones of Eden. Nothing has changed, yet everything has changed. Aziraphale gave away his flaming sword to protect Adam and Eve, and concealed that from God. Aziraphale thwarted God's apparent wish to have the children killed, and lied directly. This time, however, he had a partner, an ally.

On a stone seat on that lonely shore, Crowley chooses to accept and embrace that alliance, that friendship. He makes a powerful admission, something he avoided just hours ago:

"Lonely? Yeah..." His voice is so sad. Behind the dark glasses, he seems to be staring off across the sea. Loneliness is intense, encompassing, even with a friend sitting close by.

Both he and Aziraphale have lost something profound-- their innocence, their shelter, their faith. Seeing Aziraphale shattered like this surely brought back the shattering loss Crowley himself experienced in a far more wrenching and painful way, feelings that continue to torture him for millenia. "Unforgivable, that's me..."

Loneliness can help people bond. But only true friendship and caring can make it last. Crowley's honest admission, his compassion, his ability to reach out and share in Aziraphale's grief by admitting and sharing his own, is an incredibly strong foundation for the relationship that follows. It has it's ups and downs across the centuries, but the moments we see in flashbacks each show a lasting bond that strengthens across time.

Aziraphale knew and loved who Crowley was, Crowley, not the Starmaker, from their beginnings. It wasn't the Starmaker who reached out in empathy towards innocent children and creatures and a bereft angel. It was a lovely, tender-hearted demon hiding behind dark glasses and a cocky attitude --

-- a mischievous, dramatic, bold demon who also saw Aziraphale in all his flaws and foibles (and meat sweats!) and accepted him anyway. And Aziraphale (despite the frustrating moments of rhetoric through the ages!) sees and accepts him too, and knows that he is safe to be as genuine as he can permit himself to be around Crowley. Over time, this open genuineness grows, until he is dancing, and playful, and doing silly magic tricks for his dearest companion...!

They each reached out in Courage. Again, and again, and again.

That's not an easy bond to break. It's why I believe in Our Ineffables. No matter what, they've always ultimately believed in each other.

*****

If you enjoyed reading this, you might like my other philosophical ramblings:

Finding Forgiveness (Text Barrages & Apology Dances)

Reflections & Divisions (Mirrors of Ourselves)

Forgiveness & Absolution (Holy Hot Chocolate, Jim!)

A.Z. Fell & Crowley (The Demon Who's Always Been Welcome!)

Good Omens & the Existential Art of Not Giving Up (When It's All Exhausting)

Thanks for being here!!

[plaidos]

I am a transmasc, and I have kinda been struggling with a question that I obviously don't wanna ask any other transmasc cause I can't trust them to not be biased, but I also am afraid to ask my transfem friends because I don't want them to feel bad about it. I've been feeling pretty weird about my social place and responsibilities in multiple friends groups that are majority trans women. I sometimes get scared that my transfem friends are like, too comfortable around me and might not understand the threat that I pose to them. I hear a lot of stories about transfems who don't know what's being done to them until it's too late, and I don't want to condemn my friends to that fate, but I also don't want to treat them like they don't know any better. For this reason, I sometimes feel like it's my responsibility to subtly encourage them to pursue transfem-exclusive spaces, and from there they might organically integrate into a social system that is safer for them, so they won't feel like they need me and other TMEs for social connection.

At the same time, I've been feeling actively more avoidant of the two other transmascs that I know. I kinda feel like transmascs are "invaders" in some way, and that it's my responsibility to actively push other transmascs away from trans communities, and encourage them to further push even more out. I don't feel like transmascs really belong there, as they take up space and offer nothing to trans people as a whole, and that further fuels my thoughts on encouraging transfems to pursue places that don't have us in them.

The one time I brought a portion of this up with a transfem friend, she seemed to think this was some kind of self harm, and that I shouldn't pursue this. I'd normally be inclined to agree with her on these things, but I feel like if she'd been massively abused by transmascs like most other transfems, she'd probably feel differently.

For months, I have constantly debated with myself over whether these thought processes are just or if they are flawed. Were I not so limited in my mode of talking about this personal issue, I certainly wouldn't have come to tumblr about it. It definitely doesn't feel good to make a transfem feel like she needs to play teacher just for this one problem, but I've gotten a bit desperate. If there's a better place to talk about this problem, do let me know!

there’s a lot to talk about & unpack in your ask, but i think the first and most important thing to remember is that being male (whether you’re a cis guy or a trans guy) isn’t like this inherent sin or danger (and indeed no serious transfeminist is suggesting these things i promise you lol); indeed the things that are dangerous are the power structures & how they encourage, reproduce & justify potential abuse rather than the individuals, right? when you see transfems talking about the abuse they’ve experienced (& that has been justified & normalised by the world around us) from transmascs, you shouldn’t internalise that as inherent to transmascs interacting with transfems (because this too justifies & enables it by acting as though it is inevitable) but rather reflect on what social power structures & beliefs have encouraged & enabled this abuse to take place.

it sounds to me like you’re mired in a lot of personal guilt problems (or it seems that way from somebody who chronically suffers with that due to a religious upbringing) and getting that mixed up with politics. if you’re in a lot of spaces that are mostly filled with transfems, then the chances are most likely they feel safe and comfortable to have you around.

saying this as kindly as possible: you might wanna reread what you’ve said here with the phrase “white knight” in mind. we categorically don’t need transmascs being our bouncers, we don’t need to be protected by you unless you’re being like asked explicitly to walk one of us home etc, we need solidarity with you, to be seen on the same level & listened to, not looked over like a flock of sheep.

if you wanna really really be helpful to transfems as a group you can start by doing some transfeminist reading — that will help you more effectively recognise the mechanisms that enable transmisogyny, which thus in turn helps you recognise if/when you or people around you are benefiting/disbenefiting from those systems & how to prevent & mitigate that when it’s within your power. if your doll friends aren’t already on transfeminism you could even (as non condescendingly as possible) share quotes and snippets from the texts you’re reading that you think they’d think were interesting or relevant to them etc.

remember to be in conversation with us. we’re all from the same planet

[ninetailedfoxmanchi]

Mafia! BTS - What They'd Be Like with a Y/N who Is Successful

A/N: I got a request a while ago about Y/N standing up for herself like in a public space if someone bumped into her or sth even though she's always really compassionate, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about the Y/N I usually write. I'm also taking a course in feminist literature and it's making me rethink everything I know about life and society btw.

Obviously this is all fiction and a safe space in any case, whatever our desires and fantasies may be, but I just wanted to put it out there that I could do some requests where Y/N is just as strong and successful (even for prompts I already did). I think it'd be interesting to see how the members' dynamics would change. If not, I've got plenty to work on :) still, let me know what you'd prefer!

Disclaimer: Regardless of whether Y/N is confident or shy or financially successful or poor, the level of her compassion, autonomy and self-determination is unquestionable. There's power in allowing others to take control as well as having the control yourself; neither represents a weakness in the character.

***

Jin

I think Jin would have such a hard time when you wouldn't let him pay just like you would feel when he insisted on paying. Other than that he would be immensely proud of your success (for some reason I see Jin with someone who is in law, an attorney or a court interpreter) and how hard-working you are. Although it was hard for him to get you to relax around him as you always keep everything under control, it just made Jin appreciate it even more - that out of all people, he is the one who can make you let your guard down.

Namjoon

Needless to say, Namjoon worships you. He never thought he would meet his match but then you came along with your brilliant mind and swept him off his feet. Although you make your own money, he doesn't want you paying for anything. He loves taking care of you. You didn't let him in the beginning but accepting a gift or a beautiful dinner from Namjoon soon made you realize you weren't surrendering any of your hard-earned power. Namjoon respects your work and your desire to build your own career independent of his power and connections. Besides, there's nothing that turns him on more than seeing you on top of your game.

Yoongi

You would definitely meet through some work-related thing and seeing you take care of business would strike a cord in his heart. Much to his surprise you agreed to go out with him the first time he asked you but he soon realized you weren't settling for mediocrity and are perfectly comfortable in your own company. Getting to know you only drew Yoongi closer and although he always gave you space, whether that meant you paying for the date or driving, Yoongi always had your back.

Hoseok

A part of Hoseok might feel threatened by your business at first, not because he wouldn't wish you success but because he would feel insecure in what he could offer you. He had always taken care of his partners financially before and you were the first who didn't want (or need) it. Still, you're so clever and witty that Hoseok couldn't help but fall for you and it changed his attitude completely. When you began to let your guard down, he truly realized you trusted him with your worries and problems and that was the real way he could take care of you.

Jimin

Jimin loves it. He loves your confidence, your independence and admires your success although he also loves when you let down your guard and allow him to take care of you for once. Jimin likes it when you talk to him about work, even if it's just complaining about a lazy employee. He feels like he is a part of your world that way. You don't mind receiving presents and going on luxurious dates that Jimin pays for because he is so reassuring about you having power and money of your own. He doesn't think about it when you pay for a vacation; money isn't on his mind like that.

Taehyung

Taehyung is a lot like Jimin. His confidence knows no limit when it comes to celebrating your success. He doesn't feel threatened in the least although he is almost always the one to pay, be it a nice dinner, a flight to a luxurious resort or an extravagant accessory. When he does it, Taehyung isn't thinking about the money at all because he has more than enough of it and so do you. He is very transparent about his feelings for you and his attitude towards your career.

Jungkook

Out of all of the members, Jungkook would have the hardest time accepting how self-sufficient and hyper-independent you are. He likes to take care of his partner, not just physically but financially. It is not so much about control rather than Jungkook needing the feeling that he has a purpose. He is always thinking about how to make your life easier without compromising your sense of self. You worked hard to achieve the success you had and Jungkook respected every aspect of it. There was a lot of compromise needed from both of you to achieve a level of comfort of intimacy where neither of you felt threatened. But once you overcame that barrier, nothing could come between the two of you.

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Simon Said | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual ? )

Warnings: mind control, canon violence, canon gore, consent lines blurry bc mind control but nothing happens to the reader, mind control attempted suicide

Word Count: 5301

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“I don't know, man, why don't we just chill out, think about this,” Dean said, trying to soothe his brother.

Sam had another vision while he was washing his face a state or two back. Dean was having to be the level-headed one at this moment because Sam was a complete basketcase. “What's there to think about?” the latter asked.

“I just don't know if going to the Roadhouse is the smartest idea,” Dean replied.

“I agree. I like ‘em, but I don’t trust any of them enough yet to tell them about this,” you said earnestly. 

“Guys, it's another premonition. I know it. This is gonna happen, and Ash can tell us where,” Sam protested. “Plus, it could have some connection with the demon. My visions always do.”

“That’s my point,” Dean said. “There's gonna be hunters there. I don't know if going in and announcing that you're some supernatural freak with a— a demonic connection is the best thing, okay?”

“So I'm a freak now?”

You gritted your teeth awkwardly.

Dean slapped Sam on the thigh. “You've always been a freak,” he smiled weakly. 

You looked at Sam concernedly, and it seemed he couldn’t keep still even if his life depended on it.

“Sam, it’s gonna be fine, I promise,” you said. 

He looked back at you, offering a small smile at your attempt to comfort him. You could tell he was unconvinced.

***

When you arrived at the Roadhouse, Jo bounded up to you and the brothers. “Just can't stay away, huh?” she grinned to Dean.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. You knew your jealousy was baseless but still could barely hold it at bay.

“Yeah, looks like. How you doin', Jo?” the older brother asked her.

Sam hurriedly asked, “Where’s Ash?”

“In his back room,” Jo replied.

He brushed past her wordlessly.

Jo turned after him, watching him go. “And I'm fine…”

“Sorry, he's, we're... kind of on a bit of a timetable,” Dean explained, following after his brother. You nodded and gave a closed-lip smile to Jo, who returned it, before heading after Dean.

You arrived at a door labeled, “ Dr. Badass is: IN.” You snorted at the sign, and Sam knocked on the door. “Ash? Hey, Ash?”

Moments passed; no answer. You knocked, this time saying, “Hey, Dr. Badass?”

The door unlatched and opened a crack to reveal a stark naked Ash. You averted your eyes, feeling intensely uncomfortable.

“Sam? Dean?” Ash sounded high. “Sam and Dean. And (Y/N). Hey, (Y/N).”

You laughed awkwardly, still turned away from Ash standing in the doorway. “Hey, Ash. Um. We need your help.”

“Well, hell, then! Guess I need my pants.” He shut the door, and you and the brothers turned to move back to the bar.

Sam described the scene from his dream and drew a logo of the bus he saw in his dream. Ash sat at a table with his homemade laptop and somehow found the logo based off Sam’s drawing. “Well, I got a match. It's the logo from the Blue Ridge bus lines in Guthrie, Oklahoma.”

“Okay. Do me a favor—” Sam began. “Check Guthrie for any demonic signs, or omens, or anything like that.”

“You think the demon's there?” Ash asked.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Why would you think that?”

Dean gruffly replied, “Just check it, alright?”

You shot him a look, as did Ash. He obliged, though, and said, “No, sir, nothing. No demon.”

“Alright, try something else for me. Search Guthrie for a house fire. It would be 1983, fire's origin would be a baby's nursery, night of the kid's six month birthday,” Sam said.

You looked around for eavesdroppers, only to find Jo cleaning a table nearby and watching your group.

“Okay, now that is just weird, man,” Ash protested. “Why the hell would I be looking for that?”

Sam pulled out a beer and set it next to his laptop. “'Cause there's a PBR in it for ya.”

Before Sam could finish his sentence, Ash replied, “Give me fifteen minutes.”

You sat next to Ash as he continued his work, and Dean left to get a beer from Ellen. Suddenly, REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling” started playing from the jukebox. You turned your head to the source of the sound and found Jo sauntering over to a horrified-looking Dean at the bar. Your blood boiled, but you just looked back at Ash and his computer. However, you didn’t register anything he was saying or scrolling through.

All you could think about was Jo’s attempted flirting with Dean. Technically, neither party were doing anything wrong; you and Dean had agreed to be friends for the time being. But you were furious at the thought of the two of them together. How disrespectful would that be for Dean to get with Jo days after saying he wanted you and agreed to be friends for now? Your jaw clenched, and you clutched your beer tighter.

Sam snapped in front of your face. “(Y/N), let’s go.”

You broke out of your thoughts and grabbed Dean’s jacket, pulling him along with you.

“See ya, Jo,” you called over your shoulder, stomping out of the bar with Dean in tow. 

Dean chuckled at you, gently shrugging you off him. He stooped down to your level and whispered lowly, “Jealous?”

You jerked away from him, cheeks heating in embarrassment. “No.”

He just smirked in response and kissed the side of your head. “Sure, sweetheart.” He then walked ahead of you to the Impala. 

You froze, flustered and unappreciative of the effect he had on you. “Dean—!”

***

“Sam, you can’t tell me Lord of the Rings is better than Erin Brockovich,” you argued with the younger brother. The two of you had been locked in a heated debate on your favorite movies of recent years, and these two were the next in question.

“(Y/N/N),” Sam started, “Lord of the Rings is based on six books of Tolkein’s experience in World War I, and Erin Brockovich is—”

“Two hours of fuckin’ perfection,” you cut him off. “Julia Roberts acted those other bitches under the table.”

“But the worldbuilding, (Y/N), it’s not even comparable!” 

“Yeah, if you stick around long enough to learn about it. It’s a snoozefest from start to finish,” you giggled.

He scoffed. “Okay, what about—”

“If you two keep talkin’ film nerd, I’m gonna kill myself,” Dean grumbled.

“Killjoy. If it’s not eighties horror, you’re not interested, huh?” you commented, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back in your seat. 

Dean’s eyes met yours in the rearview mirror. “Did you actually read anything back there, or….?” 

“I did, thank you very much.” You pulled the stack of papers on the seat next to you into your lap. “Andrew Gallagher. Born in ‘83, like Sam. Lost his mother in a nursery fire exactly six months later, also like Sam.”

“You think the demon killed his mom?” Dean asked.

“Sure looks like it,” Sam responded.

“How did you even know to look for this guy?” Dean asked you.

“Well, Sam’s visions have all been attached to the demon or the other kids—”

“Like Max Miller, remember him?” Sam cut you off.

Dean scoffed. “Yeah, but Max Miller was a pasty little psycho.”

“Well, yeah, but my point is, he was killing people,” you began.

Sam continued, “And I was having the same type of visions about him. And now it could be happening all over again with this Gallagher guy.”

Dean asked, “How do we find him?”

You blew air out through your pursed lips. “Don't know. No current address, no current employment. He still owes money on all his bills; phone, credit, utilities—”

“Collection agency flags?” the older brother questioned.

“None in the system.”

“They just let him take a walk?”

You shrugged. “Seems like it. There's a work address from his last W-2; about a year ago. Let's start there.”

***

You and the brothers stopped at a coffee shop dressed in your “formal attire” to question a girl you knew to be friends with Andrew Gallagher about his whereabouts. 

“You won't get anything out of Andy, guys. I'm sorry, but they never do,” she said.

“ ‘They’?” Sam asked.

She tilted her head in confusion. “You're debt collectors, right? Once in a while they come by. I don't know what Andy says to them, but they never come back.”

“Actually we're- we're lawyers. Representing his Great Aunt Leta. She passed, god rest her soul, and left Andy a sizable estate,” Dean lied. “Are you a friend of his?”

“I used to be, yeah. I don't see much of Andy anymore.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

A man came up behind the bashful woman. “Andy? Andy kicks ass, man.”

“Is that right?” Dean questioned.

“Yeah. Andy can get you into anything. He even got me backstage at Aerosmith once; it was beautiful, bro.”

The woman turned to him. “How about bussing a table or two, Weber?”

“Yeah. You bet, boss.” The man named Weber turned away.

“Look,” the woman sighed, “if you want to find him, try Orchard Street. Just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side.”

“Barbarian queen?” Dean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“She's riding a polar bear. It's kind of hard to miss.”

***

She was right. It was incredibly hard to miss. You and the Winchester boys sat in the back of the Impala, having caught sight of the blue van with the aforementioned painted on the side of it from across the street.

“I'm sorry, I'm starting to like this dude. That van is sweet,” Dean grinned. He turned to his brother. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Sam, you look like you're sucking on a lemon, what's going on?”

The brunet sighed. “This Andrew Gallagher, he's the second guy like this we've found, Dean. Demon came to them when they were kids, now they're killing people.”

“We don't know what Andrew Gallagher is, alright? He could be innocent,” the older brother argued.

“My visions haven't been wrong yet.”

“Sam, you’re not one of them, if that’s what you’re concerned about,” you said.

“(Y/N), the demon said he had plans for me and children like me,” he replied. “Maybe this is his plan, maybe we're all a bunch of psychic freaks, maybe we're all supposed to be—”

Dean scoffed. “What, killers? So the demon wants you out there killing with your minds, is that it? Come on, give me a break. You're not a murderer, Sam! You don't have it in your bones.”

“No? Last I checked, I kill all kinds of things."

“Sam, that’s different,” you chimed in. “We kill shit that’s already dead. Or… undead. Or… not human— What are you looking at?”

“Got him,” was all Sam replied with. He nodded toward a man walking down the road in a robe, sandals, and baggy pants. The man in question blew a kiss up at a beautiful woman in lingerie leaning out of a window and waving down at him, got a coffee from some random guy he was passing, and then, shook hands with another. 

“That's him. That older guy, that's him, that's the shooter,” Sam rushed out, referencing the man Andy had shaken hands with.

“Alright, you keep on him, we'll stick with Andy. Go.” Sam got out of the car at his older brother’s command.

“We will?” you asked, climbing over the front seat. 

“C’mon, sweetheart.” Dean followed Andy— who had just climbed into his ostentatious van and began to drive off— closely. 

A few minutes of following the man into a suburban area later, the van stopped in the middle of the road and approached the Impala. You discreetly handed Dean his gun from the glovebox and tucked yours into your jacket.

Andy leaned into the rolled-down window of the Impala. “Hey.”

“Hey, hey,” Dean replied.

“This is a cherry ride,” Andy grinned. “Man, the '67? Impala's best year if you ask me. This is a serious classic.”

“Yeah. Y'know, I just rebuilt her, too.”

“And who’s this gorgeous lady you got next to ya?”

“Oh, I’m (Y/N),” you smiled, suddenly not feeling right.

“Hey, can I have the car? And her, if she’ll let me?” Andy asked you and Dean.

“Sure, man,” Dean grinned, getting out of the car to let the man into the driver’s side.

“Hi, handsome,” you smiled, draping yourself over Andy’s shoulder. You weren’t quite sure what was happening to you, but you knew you weren’t fully in control of what you were doing.

“Take it easy,” Andy told Dean before driving off with you.

“Where ya takin’ me?” you asked him, still mentally horrified by the effect he was having on you. 

“You’ll see,” he grinned, and you settled into his shoulder as he continued to drive.

***

About ten minutes later, the man driving you around received a call that seemed to really upset him. He drove a little faster and parked the car moments later once you’d arrived in front of the café you’d first gone to when you rolled into town.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” you asked, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Uh, I—” he paused, sighing. “Stay here, okay?”

“Okay!” You sat patiently with your hands folded in your lap, waiting for him to come back. You suddenly seemed to realize what you’d been doing and looked around yourself, trying to gain your bearings. You were relieved to see Dean and Sam approaching you. You jumped out of the car and leapt into Dean’s arms. “Dean! What the hell, man, he full-on Obi-Wan-ed us!” You let him go and hugged Sam. “What’s wrong, dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“That guy, um, from my visions, he stepped out in front of a bus. Right after he got off the phone,” Sam explained. “We’re thinkin’ Gallagher called him.”

Your brows furrowed and stomach dropped. “Oh.”

“He would’ve had to be on the phone with you in the car,” Dean added. “Was he?”

You shook your head. “No. I mean, not until a second or two before he ditched the car and me in the front seat.”

“Did he… do anything to you?” Sam asked. 

You shook your head.

“A real Samaritan, this guy,” the brunet quipped.

You turned to Dean talking to his car. “Oh, baby, I promise I’ll never leave you again.”

“Do you want a moment alone with her?” you deadpanned to Dean.

“We have a special bond,” he said after a pause. He turned back to his car. “She just doesn’t understand us.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress the smile tugging at the ends of your lips. “Anyway, he didn’t give any kind of a command over the phone. If anything, he was upset when he answered his phone not ten minutes ago. I don’t think he’s our guy.”

“Either way, how are we going to track this guy down?” Sam asked.

“Not a problem,” Dean smirked.

***

“I’ll give you that, his ride isn’t exactly ‘covert’,” you said upon finding the van again. 

Dean pulled a small crowbar out of his jacket and pried the doors of the van open with it. The opened doors revealed a disco ball, fur rugs, a tiger painted on the wall, several thick books, and an enormous bong.

“Oh. Oh, come on. This is— this is magnificent, that's what this is. Not exactly a serial killer's lair, though. There's no... clown paintings on the walls, or scissors stuck in victims' photos. I like the tiger,” Dean chuckled in awe.

“Dean, he tried to kidnap me. And he kidnapped your car. Can we stay focused, please?” you deadpanned. You looked down at the books. 

Sam picked one up. “Hegel, Kant, Wittgenstein? That's some pretty heavy reading, guys.”

Dean picked up the glass object lying next to them. “Yeah, and, uh, Moby Dick's bong.”

***

Sam and Dean bickered over whether or not they thought Andy was guilty as you zoned out in the backseat. That was, until, the man in question hit the passenger’s side door, startling all three of you.

“Hey! You think I haven't seen you three? Why are you following me?” He asked, his voice reverberating strangely in your ears.

Sam calmly began to explain. “Well, we're lawyers. See, a relative of yours has passed aw—” 

“Tell the truth!” Andy’s voice echoed in your mind.

“We hunt demons,” Dean rushed out.

Andy jerked back in surprise. “What?”

“Dean!” Sam scolded.

“He’s telling the truth,” you jumped in. “That’s Sam. He’s Dean’s brother. I’m (Y/N). I met their dad on a hunt, and, uh, here I am! I follow them everywhere because they’re my best friends and the only real family I’ve ever had, and I’m terrified of losing them, and I followed them to you.”

“(Y/N), shut up!” Sam chastised, turning to face you. 

“I’m trying,” you said.

“He's psychic. Kind of like you. Well, not really like you, but see, he thinks you're a murderer,” Dean continued, “and he's afraid that he's going to become one himself, 'cause you're all part of something that's terrible. And, I hope to hell that he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he might be right.”

“Okay, you know what? Just leave me alone,” Andy said.

“Okay,” Dean nodded.

Andy walked away from the door, and Sam followed. You and Dean clutched your heads.

“Holy fuck, that hurt,” you groaned.

“Did you really mean that?” Dean asked, clutching the bridge of his nose.

“What, that this hurts?” you scoffed.

“No, about me and Sam.”

“Dude, he made me Professor-Xavier-level spill my guts,” you grumbled. “I couldn’t have lied if I tried.”

Dean gave you a confusing look, but you got out of the car, feeling embarrassed. Sam held up a hand, warning you not to come any closer. You could vaguely hear Andy and Sam arguing about the origins of their powers and the doctor’s death, but all you could focus on was what you’d just admitted.

“(Y/N)—” Dean started.

“No, Dean.” You looked up at him. “We can talk about it one day when this is all over. Just… for now, let’s not.”

He didn’t say anything, but eyed you curiously. Before either of you could say another word to each other, Sam began to collapse to the floor. You and Dean ran to him to catch him and lowered him to the asphalt.

“Sam? What is it?” Dean asked his brother, shaking him.

“Look, I didn't do anything to him—”

“We know you didn’t,” you told Andy.

Sam snapped to attention. “A woman. A woman burning alive. A gas station, a woman is gonna kill herself.”

Andy’s voice rose significantly in pitch. “What does he mean, going to? What is he, what is—”

“Shut up!” you and Dean told Andy.

“She gets triggered by a call on her cell,” Sam continued.

“When?”

“I don't know.” Dean helped his brother stand as he continued talking, “But as long as we keep our eyes on this son of a bitch, he can't hurt her.”

Andy raised his hands up in surrender. “I didn't hurt anybody.”

“Yeah, not yet,” you said. Your head jerked toward the sound of a fire engine roaring and flashing by you on the highway next to you.

“Go,” Sam told you and Dean. The two of you sprinted to the car and headed off to follow the firetruck.

When you arrived, you were disheartened to see the first responders trying to put out the fire, keep civilians away, and recover the charred body of the woman who had died.

Dean immediately called Sam. “Hey, it's me. She's dead. Burned up, just like you said… Like minutes before I got here! I mean, the smell hasn't even cleared. What's up with your visions, man? This wasn't even a head start… Listen, you were with Andy when this whole thing went down, so it- it can't be him, it's gotta be somebody else doing this… What else is new? Well, we'll dig around here, see what else we can find.”

You and Dean roamed around talking to first responders and bystanders, posing as relatives of the woman who’d died. It was one of the things you felt guilty about in your line of work; posing as relatives of the dead to get information felt disrespectful to you. But alas, you had to, in this case.

You and Dean drove in silence back to the lot where Sam and Andy were talking on the bed of a broken truck as you rolled up. 

“Victim's name was Holly Beckett, forty-one, single,” Dean explained to Sam.

“I called Ash back at the crime scene,” you began. “Said he found a Holly Beckett who gave birth when she was eighteen, back in ‘83. Same day you were born, Andy.”

“Andy, were you adopted?” Sam questioned.

He nodded as if it were obvious. “Well, yeah.”

Dean glared pointedly. “You were? And you neglected to mention that?”

“Never really came up,” Andy deadpanned. “I mean, I, I never knew my birth parents, and, and like you said my adopted mom died when I was a baby— do you, do you think this Holly woman could actually be my m—”

“I don't know,” you explained. “I tried to get a copy of the birth records, but they're hard copy only, sealed in the county office.”

Andy smirked. “Well, screw that.”

***

You and the brothers went through the drawers of file cabinets searching for phone records as Andy began leading the guards out of the room.

“Probably shouldn't have left you kids in here,” the guard said.

Andy rubbed a hand over his back. “No, it'll all be fine. Alright? Just go get a cup of coffee.” As the guard left, he continued, saying, “These aren't the 'droids you're looking for.”

You and Dean grinned. “Awesome,” the older brother said.

“I got it,” Sam said. “Andy, it's true. Holly Beckett was your birth mother.”

Andy looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. “Huh. Does anyone have a Vicodin?”

"No Vicodin. Weed, though," you told him, offering him a joint from a pack of pre-rolls in your jacket.

Andy considered but shook his head.

“Dr. Jennings was her doctor, too, I mean, he oversaw the adoption. You have a solid connection to both of them.”

“Yeah, but I— I didn't kill them,” he rushed out.

“We believe you,” Sam told him.

“But uh, who did?” Dean questioned.

“I think I got a pretty good guess,” Sam replied. “Holly Beckett gave birth to twins.”

Andy’s jaw dropped. “I have an evil twin.” He looked to you. "I may take that joint now."

Sam began flipping through another folder of documents. “Holly put you and your brother up for adoption. And you went to the Gallagher family, obviously, and your brother went to the Weems family from upstate.”

You looked over at the zoned-out Andy. “You okay? Still with us?”

He shook his head and looked over at you. “Um. What was my brother's name?”

Sam flipped to another page. “Here. Um, Ansen Weems. And he's got a local address.”

“He- He lives here?!”

Dean pushed a few buttons on the computer. “Let's get a look at him. Got his picture coming off from the DMV right now.”

“Dean, you can barely work a toaster. How’d you find his picture from the DMV?” you asked.

He just glared at you in response. You could tell he was messing with you, though.

You pulled the paper off the printer, eyes widening as you recognized the man in the picture. “Hate to kick you while you're freaked,” you said. “Take a look at that.”

When Andy caught sight of his friend from the café Weber looking back at him from the printed off image, his jaw dropped even further in shock.

***

It was a race against the clock to find where Weber had taken Andy’s ex-girlfriend, Tracy— the woman you spoke to at the diner— after Sam had another vision about her jumping off a bridge. Sam’s visions were getting more intense and painful; poor guy. Andy directed Dean to the bridge Sam described from his vision, and the four of you climbed out of the car in unison.

“(Y/N), Dean, you should stay back,” Sam said.

“No argument here. Had my head screwed with enough for one day,” Dean leaned against his car next to you. You watched Andy and Sam head to fend off Weber when you got an idea. “You got a Remington in the trunk? Or an FR F2?”

He smirked at you. “Have you met me?”

***

You and Dean found a spot in the trees far enough away from the scene below to get a clear shot at Weber without being able to hear one of his commands. Dean only had one FR F2, and you convinced him to hand it over to you. You were a damn near perfect shot and could easily take this guy out.

You lined up your shot, smiling smugly when you centered his head on the cross in the middle of the scope. ‘Gotcha,’ you thought. Suddenly, his head turned to you. He said something you couldn’t hear, but it was enough to get you to tuck the barrel of the rifle under your chin.

“(Y/N)! Stop it!” Dean tugged on your arm and managed to wrestle it away from the trigger when another gunshot rang out. As you came back into full control of your body, your breathing labored. You dropped the gun and collapsed backward into Dean’s chest, and his arms circled you as you turned your face into him.

“I got you, I got you,” he assured you as you wound your hands around his neck and buried your face in his chest.

“C’mon, we gotta get Sammy,” Dean said, pulling you down the hill to the bridge with him. 

You found Sam passed out on the floor and sat with Dean while he did his best to wake his brother up. When he did finally awaken, the paramedics had begun to arrive. Andy’s skills were clearly developing given the way he spoke to the police about the incident.

“He shot himself. And you all saw it happen,” he told them. All of the policemen nodded in affirmation.

The paramedics fixed Sam’s shoulder and wrapped a disposable blanket around Tracy’s shoulders. You watched Tracy’s frightened gaze that she couldn’t quite meet Andy’s eyes with. You knew she wouldn’t ever see him the same, and that broke your heart a bit. Andy seemed to understand that, too.

“She won't even look at me,” he noted.

“Yeah, she's pretty shaken up,” Sam gently responded.

“No, it's— this is different. It's, uh, I never— I never used my mind-thing on her before. Before tonight. She's scared of me now.” His face fell as the words left his lips; as if it became real for him.

“Hey, Andy, I hate to do this, but um, we have to get out of here. Here. I wrote down my cell.” Sam handed him a piece of paper with his phone number on it. “You don't have to be alone in this, alright? If anything comes up, just call me up.” 

“Wha- what am I supposed to do now?”

“You be good, Andy. Or we'll be back,” Dean stated firmly.

“Looks like I was right,” Sam said as you walked back to the car with the brothers.

“About what?” Dean questioned.

“Andy. He’s a killer after all,” he responded.

“No, he's a hero. He saved his girlfriend's life, he saved her life.” Dean pointed to you, his voice becoming firmer.

“Bottom line, he wasted somebody,” Sam argued.

“No, dude,” you jumped in. “He’s not a foaming-at-the-mouth psycho, though. He was pushed into that. All of us would’ve died had he not.”

“Weber was pushed too, in his own way. Max Miller was pushed. Hell, I was pushed by Jessica's death.”

You scoffed. “What’s your point, man?”

“Right circumstances, everyone's capable of murder. Everyone. Y'know, maybe that's what the demon's doing. Pushing us. Finding ways to break us,” Sam continued.

You considered Sam’s words. “I agree that everybody’s capable, but—”

Dean cut you off. “Sam, we don't know what the demon wants, okay? Quit worrying about it.”

“You know, I heard you before, Dean, when Andy made you tell the truth. You're just as scared of this as I am.” Sam turned to his brother.

Dean scoffed. “That was mind control! I mean, it's like, like, that's like being roofied, man, that doesn't count.”

“What?”

“No. I'm- I'm calling do-over,” the older brother responded petulantly.

You giggled. “Are you five?”

“Doesn't matter. Look, we've just gotta keep doing what we're doing, find that evil son of a bitch and kill it,” he told Sam.

The brunet sighed, “Yeah, I guess.”

Dean’s phone rang through the uncomfortable silence. “Hello? Ellen. What's going on? Yeah, we'll be right there.”

***

When you arrived at the Roadhouse, Jo eyed Dean wantonly. You were repulsed, but you stomached your jealousy and pushed forward to Ellen. “What’s going on?” you asked her. 

She motioned for you to sit at the bar. You did so, confused. 

“Jo?” Ellen called to her daughter from behind the bar. “Go pull up another case of beer.”

“Mom,” she groaned.

Ellen stared her down. “Now. Please.”

As Jo left, Ellen leaned across the bar in front of you and the boys. “So. You uh, you want to tell me about this last hunt of yours?”

Dean shook his head. “No. Not really. No offense, it's just kind of a family thing.”

“Not anymore,” she responded. She dropped a stack of papers on the bar in front of you. “I got this stuff from Ash. Andrew Gallagher's house burnt down on his six month birthday, just like your house. You think it was the demon both times, don't you? You think it went after Gallagher's family?”

Sam answered before Dean could. “Yeah, we think so.”

“Sam—” Dean scolded.

“Why?” Ellen asked.

You began, “Ellen, you’re lovely and all, but this really isn’t—”

She cut you off. “You mind your tongue with me, girl. This isn't just your war, this is war. Now, something big and bad's coming, and it's coming fast, and their side holds all the cards. Now, at best, all we got is us. Together. No secrets or half-truths here.”

You eyed her warningly as Sam spoke. “There are people out there, like Andy Gallagher, like me. And um... we all have some kind of ability.”

“Ability?” Ellen asked.

Dean rolled his eyes, uncomfortable.

“Yeah. Psychic ability. Me, I have, um, I have visions. Premonitions. I don't know, it's- it's different for everybody. The demon said he had plans for people like us.”

“What kind of plans?”

“We don't really know for sure.”

“These people out there; these psychics— they dangerous?”

You and Dean jumped in quickly. “No.” Dean finished by saying, “Not all of them.”

Sam eyed his brother. “But some are. Some are very dangerous.”

“Okay, how many of them are we looking at?”

“We've been able to track a clear pattern so far. They've all had house fires on the night of the kid's six month birthday,” Dean explained.

“That's not true,” Sam told his brother.

You turned to him, confused.

“Weber? Or Ansen Weems, or whatever his name is— I looked at his files, and there was no house fire. There's nothing out of the ordinary,” he explained.

Ellen took yours and Dean’s shock as an opportunity to rejoin the conversation. “Which breaks pattern. So if there's any others like him, there'd be nothing in the system. No way to track 'em all down.”

“And so who knows how many of 'em are really out there?” Sam added.

Jo walked up behind you and the boys.

“Jo, honey?” her mom said. “You'd better break out the whiskey instead.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[thelioncourts]

Ugh I just read such a good post about Louis misogyny, even though it was about book Louis but it matches enough if I’m being honest

ooh, I'd be very interested to read that. I think it's really interesting talking about book louis and show louis because they are different in a lot of ways due to the way rolin and team fleshed louis out and had his acceptance of vampirism soooo much earlier than book louis so they can have him be active as we move forward, but their core is the same, it's still louis, and it - again - is such a great show of this show's beauty right now, I'm seeing this argument that lestat was the only parent teaching claudia anything useful, doing anything useful for her. hunting and killing? lestat. chess? lestat. piano? lestat. buying her coffin and her clothes? lestat. etc. etc. and I don't disagree that lestat was the one teaching her a lot of those hard skills. he does, we see it, it's not something to deny or debate.

the problem is the dismissal of louis being a parent to her and having his own role in her raising, a role that was predominantly emotionally based - soft skills - which are, in general, maternal claudia sleeps in louis' coffin, akin to a baby sleeping with mom and sleeping on mom, he is claudia's safe space and the way safety cannot be overlooked in a child's development is insane. then we have louis and claudia on the boat; claudia asks him about love, they talk about something so serious and real and it's something claudia trusts him enough to ask about and he is open with her about it. when claudia kills charlie, louis is the one first with her, rubbing her back, telling her it's going to be okay. and when the events of 105 happen, when she leaves first, he's the one having to push down his own hurt at lestat's infidelity again to go talk to her. and she still leaves, but she comes back /for him/, there is an undeniable emotional connection with louis and claudia that is built on comfort and a level of openness (and so much of this relationship is destroyed when he does, in almost every way, choose lestat over her when he refuses to burn lestat). louis and claudia are constantly having emotional and personal talks and, for some time, that's so good for her.

and so to say that lestat was the only one doing anything useful for her is so insanely rooted in misogyny, this dismissal of soft skills, this building up of hard skills which are much more paternal in nature, like !!! they both played important roles in her raising and both did good and useful things for her. but - as many such cases go - the maternal role is overlooked and the maternal failures are often seen in a much worse light because of the standards mothers and fathers are held to are so different

[obsessingonthevalley]

The Story and The Engine - no no cause why it ate tho

4 bangers back to back. Piss off, Russell, did you hear me last year. Cheeky sod. Actually, such a brilliant episode, the only issues I have are that I'm a bit slow so I don't get some of it.

Sorry, I was late. By the way, A-levels are actually way scarier than I thought. Just came out of my first exam. Guys. ah hah. Excited for tomorrow's episode, you will get a post immediately, trust.

I love these two. Can we start there? Of course, we can. I'm writing this. They are so pookie core. If this were still the kind of blog where I spoke about my personal life, I could talk about these two for hours! But I don't, so I won't.

They're dynamic this episode was built so effortlessly, I shed the tear the doctor didn't. Belinda backstory was so not expected that it genuinely hit me, she's so mundane its elegant, she is legitimately just a woman and it's so real and I don't think we've really had that done this well ever other than Bill Potts and Rose, both children, or young adults, my b.

Loved how Belinda wasn't ignored, I had that worry but when she joined everyone else, and played an active role that didn't feel forced, my heart melted. It was pure magic. I also enjoyed the barbershop as a set so much.

As said, the backdrop is a barbershop because the writer, Inua Ellams, recognised it as a place that people go to feel comfortable and have a sense of community, especially as a person of colour. A haven for the doctor, incredible, accurate. I definitely felt a connection to my hairdressers as a kid, it was one of the only places you could go and feel connected to others, yeah, I could go to Rush, or that gora on the corner, but I don't know where his clippers have been. Yeah, my girl wasn't the best at her job always, but I always felt welcome, I knew about her life and goals, and family, she knew mine. You don't get that at a SuperCuts. Doubled down upon by the fact that afro-textured hair is something that isn't taught in hairdressing courses, so is inherently cultural, obviously this is Lagos, but this is a BBC show. So.

OH MY GOD. The fugitive Doctor, Jo Martin, is the love of my life. Give me 50 more guest appearances right now, I don't care. So unexpected, a little confusing why Fifteenth can remember the memories from fugitive, I'm not gonna ask though, because I like it too much. And Abena man, doctor didn't cry (thank god) I defo did tho (not actually.)

The story of the gods, but not directly pantheon related, not a pantheon episode. Yes, loved that. I know a lot of people expected it to be one. So that was lovely. The Barber as a character, incredible, saddening, and gorgeous ending. I loved how every character ended in the episode. Which is never expected in a Doctor Who episode, so glad it could happen *cough cough* Kerblam *cough cough*

Overall, loved it. Genuinely loved it. Thought some of the god stugg, nexus stuff, and the baby was confusing, choosing to ignore it, though. So guess we'll never know what that was about.

I really can't believe every episode gets better and better. I have a sneaky suspicion that the Interstellar Song Contest is going to break that streak, overinvolvement of Mrs. Flood, seemingly, a bit gimmicky and not really in a fun-looking way. We will have to see, though, of course. On my knees for VerilyBitchie to cover it if possible.

Okay, see you sooner than what happened here...

[bootlegramdomneess]

Hello! If is okay I would like to ask you something about how you interpret this aspect of show as a therapist.

Why do you think is Sydney the one that calls Carmy’s panick attacks? (the one in opening day, and that moment in “doors” when she calms him down when he is screaming they are to slow, and because of her, he calms down and the frantic music stops)

Does it had to do with love (even though I also think they are in love) or is because of trust and the bond they share? Secure attachment kind of thing? Is it because the particular type of abuse he has suffered? Or is something about Sydney’s personality? Would love your take on that.

Thank you 🙏🏼

ooo. Thanks for the question. Okay, there are a lot of layers to this

In season one we see Sydney coming into the beef during a time where Carmy was trying to get everyone to understand what he was trying to do, and meeting Sydney, he saw she understood where he was coming from. It had to be a big relief. I think Carmy comes from a space of feeling as though no one truly understands him or who he is. I think meeting Sydney was a shock to his system because here was someone who understood what he was trying to do at the Beef. Here was someone who shared the same vision as him. Similar ideas. Similar plans. Who is passionate about cooking. Here was a person who knew the part of his life (Being a chef) he didn't share with anyone. As time went on, he connected with her on a professional level, he depended on her, he relied on her in a way, i think, he never has with anyone in the kitchen. Sydney has this way about her that can be very disarming. Disarming to the point where he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with her in telling her about his Al-anon meetings. I think by the end of the season, he tried to subconsciously sabotage this relationship by exploding on her, but still invited her back into his life---despite her challenging his core beliefs of no one understanding him or he has to do things on his own. Or he can't get close to anyone.

2. In season 2 we see a shift in their dynamic where trust has been built. They've grown closer. They're having conversations about their personal lives. They're giving each other advice. They've built this little family inside the restaurant. Sydney is slowly now integrated into his family. They're literally building their future together. But here Carmy goes, sabotaging things (by bringing the C person into the dynamic) again because his relationship with Sydney is once again challenging his core beliefs. This is the theme I'm starting to notice.

3. Carmy admires Sydney. He values her opinion. He sees interpersonal skills she brings into the kitchen, and into their dynamic, that he wants to mirror himself. (This is partway why he is ALWAYS watching her)

He constantly asks if things are okay between them. He doesn't lie to her. (outside of omitting who the C person was). He tries his best to articulate his feelings to her without her prompting. When he said "I don't want to do this without you. I can't do this without you. You make me better at this." He meant that shit. That is so hard to admit out loud for him because the emotional stakes and the fear of rejection is so high for him. it's obvious he holds her in such high regard because he does not do or say any of those things to anyone else in his life. He ignores them. He shuts them out. He avoids. He doesn't communicate. (Just look at his entire dynamic with the C person. Just look at how he's shut her out completely).

4.This season he feels so ashamed and upset that he left Sydney alone. "I left you alone." After promising to her various times, he won't do that. He is devastated by this. he was yelling GET SYDNEY when he was locked in the freezer because he left her alone. So now he's gone into the extreme mode to try and fix it the things between them even though she didn't feel he abandoned her.

He told Sydney to check him if he's fucking up. He trusts he will listen to her when she does and correct himself. We are now at a point where he does not want to fuck shit up with her anymore. He is now allowing Sydney's presence in his life to challenge his core belief without sabotaging it. I think, Carmy has already casually admitted in his mind that he has strong feelings for Sydney, but I think he's put it in a deli and stored it on a shelf for various Carmy reasons.

So, when Sydney checks him in the kitchen, tells him to calm down, he listens. Sydney doesn't view Carmy as broken. Despite knowing he has anxiety and panic attacks. Despite his emotional issues, despite his family dysfunction. I think Sydney views him as someone who can hold it together. She doesn't coddle him because she sees he is trying and has the ability to get his act together. When she says: "So don't fuck up" is a great example of that.

Sydney is clear in her expectations of him. She holds him accountable. Sydney is gentle and disarming and forgiving in a way he is not with himself and he recognizes he needs that. Him being able to calm down when she tells him to, is her shaping his behavior. His thoughts of her helping him calm from a panic attack is because he trusts her voice. She is the port in the storm. She is the only one he trusts enough to be this way with him. Because he is in love with her.

[cool-fancier]

A Fiery Reunion

Synopsis: Bada's arrival ignites a fire within you, leading to an intense time filled with passion and exploration of our deepest desires.

Requested by anonymous

a/n: This story contains explicit sexual content . The characters and especially Bada and events in this story are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real-life individuals or situations is purely coincidental. This story is a work of fiction and should not be interpreted as a reflection of real-life relationships or situations.

Word count:2.2K

The first time you laid eyes on Bada, it was at a crowded art gallery opening. Her presence was magnetic, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Her confidence exuded from every pore, and her striking features commanded attention.

You found yourself unable to tear your gaze away from her as she moved through the crowd, effortlessly captivating those around her with her infectious smile. It was as if time stood still, and the world faded into the background, leaving only her in sharp focus.

Summoning all the courage you could muster, you made our way towards her, hoping to strike up a conversation. As you approached, your nerves threatened to consume you, but you pushed through, determined to make a connection.

"Hi," you greeted, your voice betraying a hint of nervousness. "I couldn't help but notice your presence in the room. The way you carry yourself is simply captivating."

Bada's eyes locked onto yours, a mischievous glint dancing within them. She smirked, her gaze sweeping over you with an intensity that made your heart race. "Well, aren't you charming? I do have a way of leaving an impression, don't I?"

Her playful response set the tone for our conversation, easing the tension that had gripped you moments before. You both exchanged pleasantries and delved into discussions about art, philosophy, and life itself. It was as if you were two souls hungry for intellectual stimulation, craving the connection that only like-minded individuals could provide.

As the night wore on, your conversation flowed effortlessly, each word deepening the bond you were forming. You both laughed, challenged each other's beliefs, and found solace in the comfort of shared understanding.

Days turned into weeks, and your conversations extended beyond the art gallery. The two of you exchanged numbers, and your messages became a lifeline, connecting your thoughts and desires across the digital realm. You discovered a profound connection that transcended the surface level, delving into the depths of your souls.

Late-night conversations turned into early morning confessions, as you bared your vulnerabilities and shared your deepest dreams. You both found solace in one another's words, a refuge from the chaos of the world outside.

It was during one of these late-night conversations that Bada finally broke the barrier of friendship, her words laced with a newfound boldness. "You know, Y/N, I can't help but feel this undeniable chemistry between us," she confessed. "I want to explore what lies beyond friendship with you. Are you open to the possibility?"

Your heart skipped a beat, your mind racing with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. The connection you had formed was undeniably powerful, and the thought of taking it to the next level both thrilled and frightened you.

But in that moment, you trusted your instincts, your heart yearning to delve deeper into the unknown. "Yes," you replied, my voice filled with conviction. "I want to explore this connection with you, to see where it leads."

And so, you took the leap, venturing into the realm of romance with equal parts excitement and trepidation. Your dates were filled with adventure and exploration, each experience deepening your bond. You both discovered shared passions, indulging in the pleasures of life together.

Your connection extended beyond the physical realm, as you nurtured each other's dreams and supported one another's growth. Bada became your confidante, your partner in crime, and the one who pushed you to embrace your desires and embrace the fullness of life.

With every passing day, your love blossomed, defying societal norms and expectations. You revelled in the uniqueness of your connection, cherishing the unconventional path we had chosen.

As you embarked on this journey of love and self-discovery, you knew deep in your heart that your story would forever be etched in the annals of passion and desire. Together, you embraced the uncharted territories of your hearts, discovering a love that was both extraordinary and unparalleled.

In the end, your love was not a cliché tale of love at first sight, but a story of two souls finding solace and passion in one another's arms. And as you continued to write your own narrative, the two of you reveled in the beauty of your unconventional love story, embracing the magic that unfolded between the two of you.

— — — — —

You had been eagerly anticipating Bada's arrival all day, your heart fluttering with excitement. It had been too long since you last saw her, and you missed her presence, her touch, her intoxicating energy.

As the doorbell rang, you rushed to open it, a smile spreading across your face as you laid eyes on Bada. She stood before you, radiating confidence and allure, her eyes locked on yours.

"Y/N," she said, her voice filled with warmth and longing. "I've missed you."

You reached out to pull her into a tight embrace, savoring the familiar scent of her as your bodies pressed against each other. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this moment of reunion.

"I missed you too, Bada," you whispered, your voice filled with genuine affection. "It feels like forever since we were last together."

Bada leaned in, her lips brushing against your ear as she spoke. "I couldn't stand being away from you any longer," she murmured, her words sending shivers down your spine. "I needed to see you, to feel your touch."

The desire in her voice ignited a fire within you, your longing for her intensifying with every passing second. You knew that this reunion would be more than just a simple embrace. It would be a passionate exploration of your desires, a celebration of the connection you both shared.

Without a word, Bada took your hand and led you to the bedroom, where the air crackled with anticipation. The room was adorned with soft candlelight, casting a warm and intimate glow across the space.

As you watched Bada undress, her movements slow and deliberate, your heart raced with desire. The sight of her naked body, her curves and contours, made your pulse quicken. You couldn't help but admire her, the way her confidence radiated from her every pore.

She turned to face you, her eyes locked with yours, and a seductive smile played on her lips. "Undress for me, Y/N," she commanded, her voice filled with a mix of dominance and desire.

With trembling hands, you shed your clothes, feeling a mixture of vulnerability and excitement. Bada's gaze never wavered, her eyes devouring every inch of your exposed skin. You could feel the heat between the two of you intensify as your naked bodies stood before each other, the air heavy with anticipation.

Without hesitation, Bada closed the distance between us, her hands exploring every curve and crevice of your body. Her touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. You surrendered to her completely, allowing her to guide you into a world of exquisite pleasure.

As your bodies intertwined, both your moans and gasps filled the room, harmonizing with the rhythm of your passion. Time seemed to lose all meaning as you lost yourselves in each other, your desires merging and intertwining.

Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word fueled the fire within you, propelling you towards the edge of ecstasy. Your bodies moved in perfect synchrony, a dance of passion and desire.

You lay tangled in Bada's embrace, your body still humming with the remnants of pleasure. Her words fueled a mix of desire and uncertainty within you, your mind grappling with the idea of pushing yourself further, of surrendering to the depths of pleasure she so effortlessly commanded.

Your voice quivered as you responded, your breath catching in my throat. "I...I don't know if I can," you confessed, your voice laced with a mixture of longing and apprehension. The sensations coursing through your body made it difficult to focus, to think clearly.

Bada's eyes held a hunger that matched your own, her lips curving into a wicked smile as she brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "Oh, Y/N," she murmured, her voice a seductive purr. "I believe in you. I know you can push yourself further, explore new heights of pleasure."

Her words stirred a dormant fire within you, reigniting the embers of your desire. With her hand teasing your nipples, your body responded involuntarily, your breath hitching at the sensation. The thought of being pushed to your limits excited you, even as fear mingled with desire.

"Do you want me to...?" You trailed off, my voice filled with both anticipation and trepidation. The idea of Bada fulfilling her every desire, even if it meant pushing your boundaries, enticed you in ways you never thought possible. But the idea of your roommate coming home soon, added a layer of caution to your thoughts.

Bada's response was immediate, her voice filled with an intoxicating mix of need and anticipation. "I want everything from you," she assured you, her words spoken with a sense of urgency. "But we need to be mindful of your roommate. We wouldn't want any unexpected interruptions, would we?"

The reality of your situation sank in, and you nodded, your mind reeling with a mix of disappointment and excitement. You understood the need for caution, the desire to keep your encounters hidden from prying eyes. But your body, still buzzing with need, ached for release, for the next level of pleasure that only Bada could provide.

As Bada's fingers lingered on your nipples, teasing and coaxing, you couldn't help but wonder what lay beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. The thought of Bada's touch, sent a surge of excitement through me. It was a forbidden desire, one that you had only dared to explore in the darkest corners of my fantasies.

Her lips, soft and demanding, claimed yours in a fervent kiss, igniting a fire that consumed you both. Both your tongues danced in a passionate embrace, exploring the depths of each other's mouths, as your bodies pressed closer, seeking the ultimate connection.

Bada's hand trailed down your torso, her fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. A shiver of anticipation coursed through you as her touch brushed against your inner thighs, teasingly close to the source of your pleasure.

With a deft movement, she spread your legs apart, exposing the wetness that had pooled between your thighs. The cool air caressed your heated flesh, intensifying the ache of need that pulsed within you.

Her fingers traced a path along your slick folds, teasingly circling your clit before dipping lower. A gasp escaped your lips as she plunged two fingers deep inside you, filling you with a delicious stretch. You arched your back, your body craving more, even though you were quite sensitive as she set a rhythm that matched the pounding of your heart.

"Good girl," Bada purred, her voice a sultry melody. "You're so wet and ready for me. Just relax and let go."

Her words, laced with dominance and desire, sent a surge of electricity through you. You surrendered to her touch, your body becoming a vessel for her pleasure. Each thrust of her fingers brought you closer to the edge, pushing you towards the precipice of ecstasy.

Your hips bucked in time with her movements, your moans of pleasure filling the room. Bada's free hand reached up to cup your breast, her thumb expertly flicking your hardened nipple, sending shockwaves of pleasure straight to your core.

Sensation overwhelmed you as you teetered on the edge of release, your body tensing with anticipation. Bada's fingers quickened their pace, driving you closer to the brink, until the dam finally broke.

An explosion of pleasure ripped through you, waves of ecstasy crashing over your body. Your back arched off the bed, your fingers clawing at the sheets as you cried out in ecstasy. Bada held you through the intensity of your orgasm, riding the waves of pleasure with you.

As the aftershocks subsided, you lay breathless and sated, your body tingling with the remnants of pleasure. Bada's fingers slowly withdrew from your depths, leaving you feeling both empty and fulfilled.

She kissed you tenderly, her lips conveying a mixture of tenderness and satisfaction. "You were amazing," she whispered against your lips. "I love the way you respond to me, the way you surrender to pleasure."

As the aftershocks subsided, you lay spent and satisfied in Bada's arms, your bodies still entwined. The air was thick with the scent of sex and the palpable energy that lingered between us.

Bada's voice, a gentle whisper, broke the silence. "You were incredible," she murmured, her fingers tenderly caressing your cheek. "So beautiful and responsive. I can't wait to explore more with you, to take you to places you've never been before."

"Thank you for coming to see me, Bada," you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude and affection.

Bada smiled, her eyes sparkling with adoration. "I would go to the ends of the earth for you, Y/N," she replied, her voice filled with sincerity. "You mean everything to me."

In that moment, you knew that your connection was something truly special. It was a love that transcended physical pleasure, a love that encompassed trust, understanding, and an unwavering desire to explore the depths of your desires together. And as you drifted off to sleep, your bodies entwined, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement for the adventures that awaited you in the days to come.

[marisandini-chu-blog]

OC IDEA!!!

Okay... if the first 4 episode of TBHX is gonna be the standard for the rest of the series, I'm gonna prepare a Fix-It Fic just to fight Canon by the end of this.

DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT, LH0!! I WILL FIGHT YOU FOR A HAPPY ENDING!!!

Dramatics aside, if I do end up writing a fix-it fic or the like. I definitely want to write an OC with Precognition ability.

Now, any of you taking the time reading this (thank you btw) would think the reasoning for this ability is because it's the easiest ability that help prevent the bad future from happening and you're not wrong.

But the primary reasoning my OC would have precognition because I want her (yes, a her) hero origin story to be a psychic.

Now, you might be wondering "Hold on, shouldn't she be a psychic after being a hero?"

And you are right, because she isn't an actual psychic.

She's a fucking conartist.

A conartist turn hero, and not by her own volition.

And I found the idea one of the most hillarious thing 🤣

Now Jane Doe (because I haven't decided a name) beginning is just a humble girl who needs money and use her talent of keen observation, cold read, being a good mentalist, and a bit of slight of hand to bring about the illusion of someone being gifted with the "third eye". Think of Shawn Spencer from Psych, she has that vibe around her.

People are reasonably skeptic of course until she has proven them otherwise, and before they even establish any trust for her, Jane Doe moves to another location because... you know... she's technically a criminal and she doesn't want to stay in one place and gamble her chances of getting caught in her lies

Now, I need to make this clear that Jane Doe isn't an inherently good person. She is clear asshole who would laugh at the idiots who would believe in her lies and take advantage of them.

However, being smarter than anyone else means she sees better than anyone. So when one of her clients revealed to be connected with heinous crime (maybe a spouse is actually a serial killer or a child being unknowingly stalk or worse)

And Jane isn't enough of an asshole to figure this out and ignore it. Instead she thinks, "Oh shit, someone gotta do something. Oh shit, does it have to be me?!"

A series of shenanigans happen later for the culprit to get caught, and before Jane Doe could dissapear into the night and move to the next city. Her face becomes viral.

And suddenly, seeing the future isn't a lie anymore.

Now you would think this would be good news for her. After all, Jane doesn't need to lie anymore in order to rip off her clients.

But it's one thing to manufacture a future in order to con someone.

It's another to actually see an actual concerning future. Like on the level of – "don't cross the road on Saturday 10 AM or Truck-kun will come for you" anytime someone ask to see their fate.

She has drawback in the form of anxiety – believing that if something bad can happen, it will happen. She ended up adopting meditation in her routine in order to keep herself from spiraling in her day to day life.

But she's also the type of person who will stubbornly persist as herself , which an unapologeticly materialistc. In the way like "Screw the attention, screw this anxiety, I will not let anyone and anything keep me from enjoying a comfortable lifestyle. Now excuse all of you, I have a cruise to catch."

But also, never once did she not try to save the people from a bad fate once she knows.

EDIT: there is also an OP-version of her that I just find it funny if she is confronted with any difficult skeptic client, she would make up an ability like "talking to the dead" in order to convince the client. So over time, the more she lies to make her life easier (and because lying is her defense mechanism) the more ability she has to juggle as she began to have difficult time to enjoy life when she cannot stop her survival mode after getting a stable lifestyle

[flowerslut]

what are your headcanons in regards to when alice and jasper first met the cullens? what was the cullen’s reactions? were they intimidated by jasper, confused by alice? how long did it take for jasper to get comfortable?

I mean, alice timing her and jasper's arrival so that emmett and edward weren't around has always been suuuper telling. because like, yeah. I fucking BET that if alice and jasper showed up out of nowhere with everyone home, between emmett's 'act now think later' tendencies and edward being able to see into jasper's head (which I'm sure was full of tense, uncomfortable "if it comes down to it I can just kill them and we can dip" thoughts), in combination with the entire family just taking one LOOK at jasper, it would not have gone smoothly in any way 💀

I mean, in breaking dawn even BELLA perceives jasper as a scary/dangerous threat on an instinctual level that she hardly understands!! and he's her best friend's husband! who she's known for over a year!!! no matter how much he's chilling out the atmosphere there's no way esme, rosalie, and carlisle aren't at least a liiiittle nervous about him. alice could have shown up nude and covered head-to-toe in human blood and i'm confident they would have still been more uneasy about jasper. (don't mind me linking more of g's posts. she's the only person I know who would have all this evidence documented lmfaooo ♡)

but thankfully, because of alice's and jasper's gifts, those two should be able to nail introductions 10 out of 10 times with a 100% success rate! if alice can pick the best possible route to take and jasper can keep the atmosphere light and relaxing, then they could probably charm their way through any 1950s entryway! I highly doubt jasper did the same midnight sun baseball scene camouflage, but I'm sure he did plenty of tension-smoothing.

I personally enjoy that they planned to show up when it was only carlisle, esme, and rosalie home. in midnight sun, alice fucking glomps edward (no, I won't apologize for using this word because I swear to god it's literally what she does) which he only responds positively towards because of their weird, instant psychic connection that lets her bombard him with LOOK-I-SWEAR-WE'RE-GONNA-BE-BEST-FRIENDS-I-LOVE-YOU-ALREADY visions. tbh, I think it's edward's absence specifically that alice probably needed. sure, emmett would've automatically perceived jasper as a threat alongside the rest of the family, but I bet that alice knew that if she could just get jasper through the door, and get carlisle to hear them out, then dealing with edward (and his ability to see what goes on in that nightmare's jasper's brain) would be muuuuch easier.

to answer your more specific questions: rosalie was definitely the very last person to be "okay" with their presence, but I'm sure she was fine with alice first, and that it took emmett to get her to be okay with jasper, too. it probably took jasper ages to adjust to living peacefully alongside 5 strangers—I'm sure these difficulties were probably exacerbated by alice being comfortable and happy right off the bat. and i'm sure the reason that jasper finally calmed down and relaxed into his new life with the cullens had to do with a combination of his trust in alice, his respect for carlisle, and the improvements that vegetarianism had on his mental health (we, as a fandom, forget too quickly that this war criminal has a canonical eating disorder and that's so INTERESTING AND FUNNN)

[goldyluna]

I think that even if Kugie survived the First Trial, she could never win the game. She would sooner or later sacrifice herself for Kanna, as she loves her so much.

But for sure it would make the original story go at least a little differently. It would depend on what moment Kugie dies to see the exact changes, but even without knowing that, there definitely would be some differences in some of the relationships.

Especially with Shin. He chose Kanna, maybe because she was easy to manipulate and meek, or maybe he felt a connection to her; it's not really that important. With her big sister there, I don't think he would even have a chance to use her (at least in the same ways as he did originally), because Kugie would hit him so fast he wouldn't be able to even smile weirdly in Kanna's direction. And maybe their relationship would be more steady and healthy and Shin would show his care more... normal. Wishes, wishes.

There wouldn't be a phone with the bad message to be changed—and with that, the not-so-pleasant confrontation between Sara and Shin wouldn't exist. But, unfortunately, there would still be animosity between them; there isn't a lot that could change the view of Sara that Shin has, that isn't connected with Shin himself and his trust issues.

The Second Main Game could go differently. Oh, sooo differently, in so many ways. Because—if Kugie is still alive—there would be two participants that could die because of Gashu. And everything depends on what cards would everyone gets. And it would get more complicated as one more person added to the game would cause so much chaos. I don't think I could predict how everything should go, so it's logical.

Be could have a new ending, Sisters Forever Ending, if Kugie got the Sacrifice. But going with this logic, there could also be an ending where only Kugie and another person die. Then Kanna and what she would do and how she would behave (and what player chooses) would be really important. The card shuffle could go so different than in the original, but let's say that in the end, Kanna and Shin are still the ones we have to choose from. I believe Kugie would want Kanna to live even if she died, so the wish of the older sister is something dear to Kanna. She could vote for Kugie, so they could escape. ("Sorry, everyone. Kanna is such a weak person; forgive me'). But I don't know if she would do that, knowing everyone else would die. Maybe there would still be a version of "everyone... won't you vote for Kanna...?". Maybe there would be Flowers Ending, where both sisters die in each other's arms. Or Kanna would have to live with the memory of Kugie's death. I think it would hit her even harder if both of her siblings died at the same Game (damn, poor girl).

If the Nao is in the mix too, there could be more combinations. There could be a route where Kugie and Nao die (and Gashu kills two birds with one stone), so Kanna and Shin could go together to the new floor. Then there would be a chance that they would both know they were siblings. The comfort they could give each other then would be on another level, I think.

There is a lot that could happen if Kugie survives the First Trial. It could go so completely different that the whole gameplay would be different. Maybe my take isn't even close to what it could be. This post would be sooo long if I considered more ways, combinations and whatnots and I don't know if I am that ambitious right now to think and write it all. This post already is too long and even I don't want to read and analize it again.