#[[new software update available : headcanons]]

[number1salesman1997]

(( being bitten by spamton is like being bitten by an ornery horse. all blunt teeth, But Be Careful! also much like a horse, if he’s doing it, he’s doing it for Evil Purposes™, out of desperation, or because he mistook something for food. he is exactly the type of person to find a lush soap, be like “SMELLS LEGIT” and just. go for it. 

[livinginsunnyhell]

Ask game for fanfic writers! ⌨️🖊📓📝

1. What fandoms do you write for?

2. What pairings do you write for?

3. What is your most popular fanfic?

4. Do you write original stories as well?

5. What fanfic of yours should everyone have read?

6. What is a fandom you will never write for?

7. What is a ship you will never write for?

8. Archive of Our Own, FanFiction.net, Wattpad, Tumblr, etc. which platform do you prefer?

9. What are your favorite fanfics?

10. How do you stay motivated to finish what you’ve started?

11. What’s your longest fanfic?

12. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

13. What is your planning process?

14. What have others criticized about your fanfic?

15. OCs or no OCs?

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

17. Do you use/follow advice from writing blogs/posts?

18. What is your favorite writing prompt?

19. Dead or overused tropes?

20. Can we get a list of all of your current available fanfics?

21. What’s your shortest fanfic?

22. Do you listen to music during your writing process? What music do you listen to while you’re writing?

23. Long chapters or short chapters?

24. How many WIPs (work-in-progress) do you’ve got?

25. How many WIPs will you finish?

26. First-person-narrative or third-person-narrative?

27. Do you take requests?

28. I will name you three things (drunk Ian — shared bachelor party — Gallavich): write a paragraph or two!

29. What’s more difficult? Fanfics or original work?

30. What writing software do you use?

31. Do you use beta/sensitivity readers?

32. Past or present tense?

33. Do friends and family know that you write fanfics?

34. How did you find the magical world of fanfics?

35. What is your favorite review?

36. Did you ever delete a work of yours?

37. Did your work ever get plagiarized?

38. Do you partake in any fanfic/writing events? (Big bangs, zines, NaNoWriMo, etc?)

39. Collaborations or working solo?

40. Do you have any rituals before uploading a fic?

41. What is something you don’t like about your writing?

42. Rudest review?

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

44. Does fanart of your fanfic exist?

45. Do fanfics of your fanfic exist?

46. Few long essay reviews or many short reviews?

47. What fanfic of yours is truly underrated?

48. What is your favorite sentence that you’ve used in a fanfic?

49. Where do you draw inspiration from?

50. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter?

(Don't feel obligated to answer. Thought if you're into these kinda things, that'd be a nice ask. ;))

Oh this is so nice!! Thanks for sending this @annansmith

I chose a few of them to do. 

1. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, I’m writing for Shameless (Gallavich) but I’ve written for:

Veronica Mars (LoVe), Veep (Amy/Dan), Arrow (Oliver/Felicity), Once Upon A Time (Hook/Emma), The Old Guard (Joe/Nicky), That 70′s show (Hyde/Jackie), Sons of Anarchy (Tara/Jax), Vampire Diaries (Klaroline), Hart of Dixie (Zoe/Wade), Gilmore Girls (Rory/Jess), X-men (Rogue/Pyro), One Tree Hill (Haley/Nathan), and a few others.

2. What pairings do you write for?

Now I write Gallavich. 

But I’d say my top ones I love writing for now (my fanfiction writing has spanned about 14 years) are Dan/Amy, Veronica/Logan, Klaus/Caroline, Mickey/Ian.

3. What is your most popular fanfic?

My most popular fic on Ao3 is The Course of True Love (Arrow) and on FF Of Bloodshed, Babies, and Epic LoVe (Veronica Mars)

4. Do you write original stories as well?

Yes, I do. I’m working on a book, well, two books. But it’s going very slowly. The first is a memoir of my travels from around the world and the second is a vampire urban fantasy one. We’ll see how it goes, but I’d like to finish them by next year and see if I can get them published, but it’s hard so who knows. 

10. How do you stay motivated to finish what you’ve started?

Well, recently I’ve really been trying to finish everything I write. I have a lot of WIPs from years and years ago and even within the the last year, so this answer is pretty new. Basically, I focus on one fic at a time and write a little every day to stay motivated. Now, I try to update once a week on a certain day. I think comments/reviews and kudos and people being genuinely encouraging helps though. It’s also what’s gotten me considering finishing my older fics.

11. What’s your longest fanfic?

Of Bloodshed, Babies, and Epic Love (over 165k)

13. What is your planning process?

Now, it’s different. I have a doc of ideas and I wait to see which one I can’t seem to shake. Then I plan out each chapter with a few sentences and I have a list of things I want to focus on in the story. Usually, each story now has a kind of theme to it and a main focus. I sometimes will just want to write a certain situation/scene/focus and the story is born from there. But what really helps is writing down chapter 1, 2, etc. and having a sentence or two for what I want to happen. It doesn’t always go according to plan, but I never get writers block or forget what happened in previous chapters now.

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

Probably a mixture of fandom (or my personal) headcanons. I don’t start with prompts unless it’s a challenge or sentence starters. Usually, I have a scene I already want to write in my head and then I sit down and write it.

17. Do you use/follow advice from writing blogs/posts?

Yes, I’ve read several books on writing. My undergrad was creative writing too, so I learned a lot there. I also follow writing instagram accounts which are helpful. I take everything I learn with a grain of salt and I see what is best for me. The best advice I heard recently was short sentences and so now I’m experimenting with that.

20. Can we get a list of all of your current available fanfics?

There’s a lot from many different fandoms. I used to be on FF.net as Psyc0gurl0 and now I’m ProstheticLoVe on a03. I like writing on ao3 better cause it’s easier and I love the tagging process. Plus the gallavich fandom on there is unreal. So to think about going back to ff.net to finish my WIPs seems like such a process now. 

Currently though, I’m writing an Ian’s POV 5 chapter fic called Chocolate. It’s not out yet, but it’ll focus on Ian from 1x06 to 1x09 or so and how his feelings for Mickey change and evolve. It’s the second part to a series called Chocolate and Cigarettes. Mickey’s POV was Cigarettes.

22. Do you listen to music during your writing process? What music do you listen to while you’re writing?

Yes, I listen while writing but I need silence while editing. I have a Love (lol) playlist. It’s basically all the love songs that remind me of couples I ship. So for example, The Acid is in there a lot because their music is great, but also Basic Instinct is so haunting. Overall, I like all music except country, so sometimes I’ll listen to my larger playlists while writing. 

23. Long chapters or short chapters?

So this has changed over the years. Initially, I wrote short chapters, then when I got back into fanfiction while writing klaroline they got a lot longer and now it’s just basically where the chapter has a natural ending. So the chapters are between 4 - 10k words depending. I try to get over 4k though. Right now, once I’m done with my current fic, I really want to write something over 100k.

24. How many WIPs (work-in-progress) do you’ve got?

A lot...none in Shameless though. Well, I guess my current one, but I haven’t posted that yet. I’d say I probs have about 10 WIPs spanning different fandoms. I know. But my goal for 2021 is to pick two and finish them. 

25. How many WIPs will you finish?

Not all of them. Some of them are from years and years ago. But I’d like to finish the ones that I still get reviews on. So there’s a SOAs fic I want to finish cause that fandom is so lovely. I also want to finish a klaroline one cause that was fun to write. And my Amy/Dan ones I’d like to finish. I would like to finish my Veronica Mars ones (I have two) but they need a lot more attention, so when people message me about them I tell them the planned ending.

28. I will name you three things (drunk Ian — shared bachelor party — Gallavich): write a paragraph or two!

“Fuck, Mickey, I probably shouldn’t have had the third Hot Toddy,” Ian grimaced as the world around him spun. 

Mickey laughed at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Ian wanted to think his future husband just wanted to pull him closer, but he had a feeling it was to steady him.

“Probably should’ve cut you off earlier,” Mickey said tugging Ian closer. 

Ian wobbled and plopped down on the back steps of the porch. Mickey followed suit a moment letter and they both looked out toward the backyard where the Gallaghers, Balls, and a few of the Milkovich cousins were alternatively huddling around a fire, drinking, and dancing.

“I blame Lip for making us have this stupid shared bachelor party in the first place,” Ian grumbled.

Mickey kissed him on the forehead as Ian lay his head on his shoulder. “It’s Sandy’s fault too.”

Ian hmmed in response and Mickey knew he was going to fall asleep any moment. He ran his hand up and down Ian’s arm and watched as Debbie bounced over to them.

“Jesus, you aren’t even married yet and you two are like an old married couple. Are you going to come dance or what?” she whined.

Mickey looked down at Ian, whose eyes were already closed, and then back up to Debbie. She was watching them with knowing eyes.

“We’ll dance at the wedding. Go grab Lip, I need his help to get Sleeping Beauty upstairs.”

Debbie turned to go get her eldest brother and Mickey looked back down at Ian. In his sleep, he nuzzled Mickey’s shoulder, breathed deeply, and a gentle smile appeared there. 

3 more days and they’d officially be husbands. 

34. How did you find the magical world of fanfics?

I was about 10 and my cousin used to write a buffy the vampire slayer zine. There was a link to a site called buffyworld.com or something like that. And I found fanfic that way. There was a link on the site to ff.net and that’s how I stumbled across that. I stayed there for many many years until my second time in the veronica mars fandom around 2014 when I was lead to a03 and then I’ve been there ever since. On and off, my writing has fluctuated through the years based on my personal life.

49. Where do you draw inspiration from?

Everywhere! omg. It’s insane. Gallavich I love writing for. There’s so many different facets to them, but truly everywhere I find inspiration. I have a whole doc of gallavich ideas that have stemmed from other fanfics, headcanons from me and other people, rewatching episodes, what’s going to happen in s11, cute moments i’d like to see happen, holidays, and just general life. I saw a pic of WW2 vets who were in a long term relationship and i was like mickey and ian! another idea is born.  

[number1salesman1997]

sunday again? no problem

some soft/romantic spam headcanons, mostly wholesome, some weird, and like 1 is mildly spicy if you squint because i don’t honestly have anything truly “sinful” about spamton for sinday

Spamton hasn’t had many real friends, much less relationships, so at least at first, he might brush off affection at first or even outright reject it if he's feeling down on himself. He's depressive at times, so he doesn't always feel like he deserves it. He can be kind of depressive, so he can be distant and in need of reassurance.

Other times, he is an absolute little sponge for attention and can be downright clingy. Hope you like being prodded with a long hard nose because beaky nuzzles. He loves being affectionately patted and groomed/fussed over, and is basically touch starved so he WILL cry sometimes over it. Unprompted compliments, petnames, etc. will make him hyperventilate with glee.

Likes to smell and lick and sometimes pocket things belonging to the object of his affections like an absolute creep so have fun with that too

Gets extremely stressed and overwhelmed easily. He can go from little red circle cheeks to full blown red face in under a minute. Might short out a bit if he becomes too flustered.

He will always be wanting to do the sleazy arm-loop-around-the-waist. Particularly in public spaces. He is not especially possessive but he would definitely want to “show off” that he is loved and that this person is “his” in a way.

Spamton’s love languages are gift giving and spending quality time with the subject of his affections. If he knows something they like, he’s going to get them That Thing Only in excess until they say something about it. In addition to this, Spamton being an enjoyer of awful jank will often gift people things that just. Suck. However if you explicitly tell him anything you want him to buy for you, he will single-mindedly pursue the capital to buy the thing for you even if he goes broke in the process because he can “JUST EARN MORE KROMER [[rofl]]” He also wants to spend every waking moment with his specil person so that he can be there just in case they have need of him. He wants to feel like he’s useful and important to those he loves.

Spamton’s idea of a fun date is a long walk through town (aka an excuse to go shopping), going for a fly above town (aka an excuse to show off his wings while conveniently getting to hold somebody), going to see a movie (and watching all of the ads like it’s part of the experience), and honestly just. Consumerism. Any kind of holiday that involves consumerism will result in Spamton blowing stoopid money on relevant purchases for that someone. Hope you fucking LOVE Christmas and Valentine’s Day.

He will ask to borrow money for ridiculous harebrained business ideas and you probably won’t get that money back.

He will call and text you. All the time. At all hours of the day. "SAW A SNAIL TODAY. [[effervescent]]”

If anyone is rude or threatening toward the object of his affections he will steal their credit card information. Doesn’t matter if they’re in a relationship or not. He’ll do this for good friends sometimes too. But if it’s more than a friend he will go out of his way to RUIN them financially and then spend the money on that person.

If he ever ended up in a proper relationship with anyone he would brag about his s/o constantly, in both wholesome and less wholesome ways. He would YES want people to know he has a partner and shoehorn them into conversation so he looks good, but he would also talk them up a lot and tell people about why they’re so great and be sure everyone knows how special they are.

And if you want anything ~spicy~ I hope you like 46 year old virgins because even during the success years he never really got close enough to anyone to sdfjjakgkljer kge;rlsl;a fjre ;

[number1salesman1997]

(( as much as spamton enjoys luxury goods, i also like to think he has a sort of “horseshoe” theory attitude toward the quality of a given thing. 

so while he enjoys nice suits, fancy cars, and has the most luxurious bedsheets known to darkner, he ALSO conversely will deliberately purchase items he can tell are scams from experience just to obtain the hilarious bootlegs.

he would order one of those awful and unnecessarily expensive gold leaf encrusted foods they order in those buzzfeed Worth It videos and the fact that it tastes underwhelming or even awful whilst being extremely expensive would legitimately be a selling point for him.

and additionally his favorite director is neil breen. 

the evidence: computer hacking, evil corporate businessmen, weird religious references, shitty stilted dialogue, music by stockmusic.net, a convoluted process is required to even purchase these films in the first place, and all of the main characters are played by neil breen himself and are the coolest most infallible dudes ever in hilarious shows of incompetence in writing that neil breen himself is so egotistical as to be entirely oblivious to. total spam move. he watched i am here....now and was like “wow...kin”. 

and THAT’S!!! my sleep deprivation headcanon of the day ))

[number1salesman1997]

all the halloween talk has me thinkin about spamton on halloween passing out business cards with every piece of candy...

also his costume would be an angel, because...obviously.

[number1salesman1997]

Spachiel's Smash Main is: Only The Big Characters. And sometime Pit.

[number1salesman1997]

What kind of dreams do you get? Do you sleep easier next to someone?

I HAVE THR33 KINDA OF DREAM'S:

ONE::

I’M ON THE [[information superhighway]] AND I WALK. I [[1 like = 1 prayer]] TO [[each and every one]] OF THE T3LEFONE POLES. AND I WALK. AND I WALK. AND I WALK. THE PAYPHONE RRRrrRrRrR INGS!!!1! I ACCEPT THE CHARGE$.. I ANSER THE PHONe:: [[please hang up and try your call again]][[never]][[again]][[please hang up]]--I AM IN MY KICTHEN. [[kromer]] FOR DINNER AGAIN,, IT TASTE’S LIKE [[garbage noise]]--I AM IN THE JUNK yARD. A CRANE [[ INTO [[MY FLESH]] AND [[drip drop.sfx]] ME INTO THE [[trash compactor]]. AND I FALL. AND I FALL. AND I FALL. AND I FALL. AND I FALL. [[back on the road again]] AND I WALK. I [[1 like = 1 prayer]] THE TELEPHONE POLE’S. AND I WALK. AND I WALK.

2WO:

I AM AT A [[geniune mahogany]] DESK. I GET UP TO GET COFFEE. I HEAD [[backspace]] TO MY SEAT, IN [[the dumpster]]. I OPEN THE LID. I CLIMB OUT INTO THE STREET. THE STREETS ARE EMPTY. I AM LOOKING FOR SOMETHING [[I cannot find it]]. THE AIR TASTES LIKE [[Kosher salt at half price]]. I CLIMB THE STA1RS. I LEAP. THE WIND RUSHES PAST. I AM IN My [[specil cungadero]]. I D0N’T KNO WEHERE I’M DRIVING. [[end of the road]]. I KEEP DRIVIGN. I PULL IN, AT A [[free real estate]] I DON’T RECOGNISE, BUT STIL RECOGNIZ AS [[My]]. I OPEN THE DOOR. I AM BACK IN THE [[back alley bargains]]. IT IS [[weather forecast: snowing]] NOW. IT [[all fall down]] TO MY kNEES, TO MY SHOULDER’S. I AM TUNELLING THORUGH THE SNOW, DIGGING [[way down, under the ground]]. I AM IN THE BASEMENCE. I AM [[NEO]]. I [[pull the strings, and make them ring]][[ring]][[RING]], BUT THEY WON’T [[GET OUT]]. I HAVE NOCH01CE BUT TO [[climb the corporate ladder]], AND I CLIMb, I CLINB, UNTIL I [[see the light]]. I GRIP THE STRINGS TIGHT, T0O TIGHT,, I BREAK MY [[99¢ coffee mug]]. I TELL MY [[Windows Update Assistant]] TO CLE4N IT UP. I ENTER THE ELAVATOR. [[top floor]][[going up]] THE DOOR [[open for business]]. I AM IN THE [[boardroom meeting]], AND AT THE TABEL, IS ONLY [[me]] AND [[me]] AND [[me]] AND [[me]] AND [[me]] AND [[me]].

BUT YEHE...WHEN EVAR I’M SLEP1NG WITH MY LITTOL [[pink headed fruit dove]] I ALWAY’S HAVE BETTER DREMS. THE [[NEW!]] TH3RD KIND:

I AM [[in a beautiful place out in the country]]. IT’S [[watch Twilight free online]]. I AM STILL,,IN THE GR4SS, CHAINED TO A [[LIVE NUDE]] TREE. I CAN’NOT MOVE. THE SAP [[cuts through tough rust stains]] ON MY BODTY. I COUhGH UP [[black printer ink $39.89]] BUT IT DOSEN’T [[OH GOD THE PAIN]]. THW TREE ROOT’S [[half price drinks]] IT DOWN. [[here comes the sun]]. THE TREE BUDS, AND BLOOM’S, [[raining]] LITTOL PINK FEATHER’S [[down, down]] ON ME THAT [[dissolves]] INTO A [[Myst]] UNTIL THE AIR IS [[fresh cut roses]] AND I [[cough syrup]] UNTILL ONLY [[100% organic local honey]] WILL COEM OUT.

[number1salesman1997]

You Are:

Chaotic Evil

Chaotic Evil- A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious, arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse. Thankfully, his plans are haphazard, and any groups he joins or forms are poorly organized. Typically, chaotic evil people can be made to work together only by force, and their leader lasts only as long as he can thwart attempts to topple or assassinate him. Chaotic evil is sometimes called demonic because demons are the epitome of chaotic evil. Chaotic evil is the best alignment you can be because combines self-interest and pure freedom. However, chaotic evil can be a dangerous alignment because it represents the destruction not only of beauty and life but also of the order on which beauty and life depend.

[number1salesman1997]

Do the little Spamtons you attack with have their own consciousness or are they just extensions of you?

"[[yes to all]] ! UNL1MITED !! SOCK PUPPET ACCOUT [[free with purchase]] OF SP4M BOT. BOT ANYWHERE: ANYTIME. "

Spamton NEO conjures a little Spamton in demonstration.

After locking eyes with the smaller double of himself, there is a visible flash of communicated intent between the robotic half and puppet half as a flash of electricity arcs between their shades. The two then proceed to dance a synchronized Fortnite dance, and when they're done, NEO lifts the smaller puppet-y double of himself up by the scruff of his neck like a small kitten.

The spamling protests and flails his limbs all over the place in an attempt to get free. He spits profanities at the tall bastard holding him to release him and then bites down hard on NEO's wrist.

NEO gives a warbly autotuned yell and hurls the spamling at the wall, which cackles as he slides down to the floor and then takes off scurrying away like the little rat he is.

"DOES THAT ? ANSER YOU'Re QUASTION?"