#[...]⠀ 仇恨ㅤ𖥔 ࣪ ⠀💬 ‧ lukewarm rage zᶻ

[cigarettesuga]

i think it's kinda funny how my most popular post here is a style of writing i think i’m not the best at.

i wrote new territory such a long time ago, like it's been on my archive for years now and i never got the courage to post it since someone i used to be friends with would make fun of me for writing such things lmao.

also i wasn't sure if ppl would like it as now I feel more comfortable writing soft smut / suggestive, but it was fun and I have more filthy drabbles if you'd like to read haha.

[cigarettesuga]

ok so. mini ramble i guess??

i’ve been thinking a lot about opposites don’t attract and where i’m at with it, and truthfully... i think i just need to take a step back for now. not dropping it, not abandoning it, but like… she’s going in a lil drawer for a bit so i can focus on other things.

and it’s not even about being mad or dramatic, it’s just... kinda discouraging when you pour so much into something — like all these layered dynamics, and all this emotional mess, and it’s deliberate — and still feel like people aren’t really clicking with it. or worse, like they’re expecting something else entirely. and that’s valid too!! but i guess it stings when your writing’s always been about the complicated stuff. the hard love. the not quite ready to admit it but dying inside anyway kind of relationships.

and honestly? this isn’t new. i've kinda been feeling this since chapter 2. part of why chapter 3 took so long to come out even though i literally have the whole thing planned already (like i had chapter 4 outlined before chapter 1 was even finished lmao). but i’m a certified overthinker™ and i got bpd sooooooo everything becomes a spiral eventually 😭

plus, like—if you’ve been around since the way he loves her (aka my first posted fic ever) you already know this is what i do. i’ve always gravitated toward stories that are emotionally intense but flawed, not easy but worth the fight. the kind of love that’s messy, yes, but real. people figuring it out as they go, making dumb decisions and still trying. not perfect love. just willing love.

this fic was always meant to be slow and emotionally messy. jimin and (y/n) are both insufferable in their own ways (i made them that way lmao), but they’re also scared and prideful and figuring it out in real time. that was the whole point. and i know not everyone’s gonna be into that. i knew it. but idk — doesn’t mean it doesn’t hit a little when it feels like the engagement’s just... eh.

so yeah. maybe i just need a breather from it for a bit. shift focus, recharge, let the characters simmer without resentment creeping in. i love this story, i do. it’s very me. but rn? maybe i’ll write something else. or maybe i’ll just rot and listen to sad music idk lmao

anyway. thanks if you’ve been reading. thanks if you see what i’m trying to do. i’ll circle back when it feels right again. 💭