#[I love my time line with Ari but really it feels with so much angst that I know that if I try to look into it I will hyperfocus in that...

[thehandworld]

[angelic-iam]

Stroke Of Luck Chapter One

Warnings: Profanity, angst, adult themes and conversations, hints at infertility, infidelity, death , light violence

A/N: Please excuse any grammatical errors I tried to go through it as best I could .second bear with me if its not up to reading standard im trying to jump back into my writing bag and this will be my first story I've actually released so I might be a bit rusty lol but please enjoy

Word count: 4273

Series Master List

I sat on the front porch of my family home trying to hold it together as I watched my father put the last of jordans bags into the car .Today was the day I had been dreading the most my older brother Jordan was going away again on deployment .He had told us months ago about his decision to reenlist and I had been preparing myself for his departure hoping it would put me at ease. It didn't. My brother is one of my best friends and to see him leave was going to leave me with a void. Even through my dismay however I was proud of him even if in this moment my emotions didn't allow for me to show it.It didn't take long before the empty space beside me was filled with a familiar face. I turned to see Jordan, his face filled with sadness. Respecting the space I was in he allowed for us to sit in silence a moment before deciding to break it. “you okay?” he asked concern laced in his voice. I shook my head “not really," I replied softly, trying to avoid eye contact knowing I would cry. He sighed pulling me into his side as the tears began to prick my eyes.” I promise this time will fly by so fast you won't even realize” he said kissing my forehead .”No jo I will notice it will not be the same without you. who else will keep me sane dealing with ma and jade you're the only thing holding us together “ I croaked “ Theres always facetime if that doesn't work then we write, and if that don't work I'll send a pigeon” he joked Not being able to it in hold in a laughed spilled from my lips Jordan joining in seconds later “Jo it's time to hit the road” our fathers voiced called out .Jordan nodded his head signaling for my dad to give him a moment. Jordan stood pulling me up with him into a hug me, nuzzling my face into his chest feeling the water works starting back up. “I love you so much josie” he said wiping a stray tear that slipped free “I love you more jo” I said turning him loose. “Oh, and sis do me one last favor” he said walking down the porch steps “name it” I called out “smile no more tears”. I cracked a small smile as he turned making his way to the car climbing in leaving me in a broken mess as I watch my dad's chevy Tahoe disappear down the road.

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In the same spot I stood five years later staring down the same dirt road my brother wouldn't have the opportunity of returning to. He was gone. Jordan was sent in on a rescue mission to save a fellow marine of his platoon, ironic in the end he ended up being the one needing saving. Shit went south and my brother was shot and killed in the line of fire. I was angry feeling as if the universe had slighted me robbing me of being able to share future moments with my brother. Him cheering me on when as I walked

the stage after completing nursing school, being a bridesmaid in his and his fiancé Arielle's wedding, holidays, birthdays. Gone. The only presence of him now in this moment was his framed picture that stood in the front of our family home for the repass. Not wanting to continue allowing myself to drown further in my grief I turned walking up the steps primary focus locating one of two people Arielle or my cousin India . It didn't take long to find ari talking with one of my aunts. Arielle was short in stature compared to most with smooth golden-brown skin that seemed to glow as the warm rays peaked through the window and a fit physique that would put Tyra banks to shame. No doubt courtesy of her personal trainer profession. Her round face framed with voluptuous curls. It was amazing to see her strength. Throughout her struggle a dimpled smile still adorned her face one that caused her Chinky eyes to disappear as she laughed. Noticing me walking over she politely closed out her conversation with my aunt walking to meet me. “Where did you disappear to “she quizzed giving me a slight nudge “ I needed some fresh air the condolences and sorry for your losses were becoming overwhelming” I huffed "Trust, I get it I have to many people asking me what i'm going to do with me and our son” she stated shifting uncomfortably. My heart ached for her. I couldn't imagine how it is to become a widow, single parent, and having to break the news to kaizen.

“for whatever your move or decision is you're not alone. You got me forever and so does nugget “I Said with half smile. She giggled at the nickname I assigned kaizen at birth. We glanced over watching the mini version of Jordan running around the house with the other kids.” I almost forgot your dad wanted to see us in the kitchen” she stated switching the topic. I nodded as we made our way to the cramped kitchen pushing past multiple bodies. My dad stood looking down at my mother with admiration as they talked among themselves “Hey daddy “I greeted walking over as he pulled me into a hug “Hey baby come sit your sister should be here in a moment” he said ushering me and ari to sit. I scrunched up my face at the mention of my sister. Jade and I had an exceedingly tenuous relationship. Jade was the youngest out of the three of us and was the golden child spoiled completely rotten. In my parents' eyes she could do no wrong and treated her as such. It didn't help that my mother drove the wedge and distaste for one another deeper pitting me and my sister against each other in a warped ass competition. Who is better than the other. My mother secretly rooted for jade while my dad on the other hands liked to play devil's advocate. Jordan was the only one who called them out holding everyone ,including myself accountable. The final nail in the coffin was catching Jade and my then boyfriend of two years Darien in bed together not to mention she continues to see him. To say I was hurt and angry was an understatement and as my family (aside from Jordan) tends to do they brushed it under the rug. As if her ears were burning jade stalks in turning her nose up at the sight of me. Feeling myself become anxious and agitated I decided to jump start the conversation “everything okay you wanted to speak with us” I question. Dad sighed grabbing a stack of papers from the counter sitting down placing them in the middle of the table. “We are going to start sorting out your brother estate and assets “Now” I asked in disbelief “Yes per your mother request”. Still not understanding the urgency I pressed further “Why so soon?” I said.” I have something important to take care of so I asked mom and dad to move it up” jade answered nonchalantly “what could possibly be so important that were doing this the day of our brothers funeral “I gritted out finding myself becoming angry. Sensing this Arielle reached over taking my hand in hers giving it a light squeeze “I have a trip I'll be going on we didn't want to move the dates” jade shrugged.” A DAMN TRIP!! WERE GRIEVING AND YOU HAVE NO CONCERN OR REGARD FOR ME OR FOR ARRIELLE. MY BROTHER ISNT EVEN IN THE GROUND GOOD AND YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT A TRIP AND IF WE CALL IT LIKE IT IS YOU’RE WONDERING WHAT YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON FUCKING SELF-” 

“JOSELYNN TAYLOR, YOU MIND YOUR MOUTH IN MY HOME I DIDNT RAISE YOU TO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND WE AREN'T GOING TO START NOW “My mom interrupted slamming her hand down on the table. “Dad” I turned to him secretly pleading for him to jump to my defense but as always nothing.” Josie, I get that you’re upset I do but let's just rip the band aid off and get this over with” he said pulling his reading glasses on his face. Meanwhile jade's face held a victorious smirk, and I wanted nothing more than to put it through some dry wall “The lawyers drew up the paperwork dividing the assets based on Jordan's will. He had a one hundred fifty-thousand-dollar life insurance policy that will be divided fourways between his parents, two sisters and fiancé Arrielle. His dodge challenger he left to his sister Jade Taylor while rest the remaining vehicles will go to his fiancé Arrielle Rodriguez” From the side of my eye I could see jade smiling. “As for his properties he leaves the townhome located in California 9870 Blancas Blvd. in Anaheim to Arrielle and lastly, the ranch house located at 1600 rose ridge rd here in Dallas Texas as well as the 8 acres surrounding it” My dad paused taking a moment to catch his breath as my sister sat up in her chair ready “ will be left to his sister Joselynn Taylor” he finished laying the paper on the table. Jade scoffed snatching up the paper reading it not believing what she's heard. I sat in shock looking over at Arrielle who nodded confirming it for me.

“ Me and Jordan decided to create a backup plan in case of a worst-case scenario. Never thought id actually have to execute it. We thought it'd be best if I moved back to Cali to be closer to my parents and family for support, the house is way too much for me and kaizen by ourselves and besides it would be a painful reminder to our son “she stated fighting tears. “He thought you were the most deserving seeing as your in school and jade has support from your parents figured it would be the best for you” ari said. "But that's not fair I got plenty of cars that's nothing can't you do something” Jade complained her turn now to plead with our parents. My mother diverted her attention now to me “Josie can't you switch it's not like you need it. You’re single, no kids unlike your sister who's been in a three-year relationship with Darien and expecting “she tried to reason while sneakily throwing jabs at me. I let my eyes dance between my parents and jade reading their body language. It was true. "You -your pregnant” I stuttered as a began to internally crack “Yes it was confirmed yesterday at the doctors. Four weeks along I think Darien is more excited than me” jade beamed getting a kick at seeing me squirm at the news “you know I could refer you to our doctor he could possibly help with that sour ass womb of yours” she bragged tossing her hair over her shoulder. I could feel my throat begin to close up as tears were now flowing down my face “Jade that's messed up and out of pocket l what is that to say to someone? You just be lucky your ungrateful behind received anything your words are uncalled for” Arrielle jumped in taking to my defense “thanks Arri for taking up for me, dad I can't do this I gotta go” I stood abruptly pushing myself away from the table storming out of the house hoping into my car speeding off.

I drove with no destination until my crying turned into dry heaving processing the news. Not only did I have to take my sister snatching my relationship with Darien from under me but now I have the pleasure to watch them start a family one that should've been mine. A shitty way to rub salt in the wound. Ten minutes passed by before the sound of coco jones ICU blared through the car's speaker. Taking a quick glance at the car screen. I see my favorite cousin India name displaying. I may not have had a sister relationship with Jade, but I did find one with India. If I wasn't with Jordan I was with her. Three musketeers. I tapped answer “hey India wassup” I asked trying to mask the fact I was just crying “Honey I should be asking you that seeing the way you just ran out of here what happened”. I sighed “It's a long story “I stated “ wanna talk about it over some drinks at dukes “she offered ‘ooh please link with you at 8” I replied “see you then” she agreed

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I tossed back my second shot of tequila squeezing my eyes closed as the clear liquid burned my chest India taking the chance to laugh at my facial expressions. “Thats no ordinary liquor “ I coughed “ Yeah but your ass needs it , now do you want to tell me what happened back at uncle Melvins” she said getting straight to business “ Where to start let's see that bitch jades greedy ass talked to my mom to convince her to push up sorting out Jordans affairs disregarding the fact were hurting, the only good and surprising thing was Jordan left a house to me but of course jade with help from my mom couldn't let that slide nooo they had to degrade me and spring on me that jades pregnant by Darien, Jade finished with saying she can refer me to her doc for my quote sour womb” I rambled with air quotes causing India to spit out her drink “ I know you fucking lying” she blurted “I Wish I was “ I chuckled darkly signaling the bartender for another round “so are we dragging her now or later” she asked in all seriousness “ we can't she's pregnant” I retorted “ AND her face aint her lip would have been swole before she could leave the house” India shook her head completely dumbfounded “I'm honestly in a space of being mentally exhausted it feels like I've had the worst luck of the draw. I can't seem to maintain anything good “I said “Josie Girl, I love you but were gonna gone head and shut your self pity party down. Sure you're going through some shit right now but it's not the end of the world. Your smart as hell ,On your way to becoming a nurse, fine as hell with a fat ass” she joked giving my behind a poke causing me to laugh “besides there's nothing you've lost that can't be regained Darien left but he aint the only man left in the world. You just got to find the right one for you one that slangs the meat” she said gyrating “oh my god dee must you do that in public and why so loud” I said covering my face in embarrassment “ I don't care you need some but first you have to stop running them away” she teased. ”it's not my fault they can't handle me “I shrugged leaning against the bar. She wouldn't call it running them off more so like weeding out the bad. Joselynn was tough overall to crack. Her hard exterior was difficult to get through. She was already to some degree antisocial so to get a conversation from her was a blessing. Even then you had to be engaging enough to hold her attention both in and out of the bedroom as she got bored easily. She wasn't one to just settle for anything as the slightest misstep/red flag and you were gone. Joselynn knew part of it was due to Darien.” you need to come with a sign that says you bite” She teased tooting her lips up at me as I shoved her slightly laughing. Before I respond Tamia’s Can't Get Enough came over the bar's speaker causing hoops and yells to erupt. Instinctively me and India made our way over to where the line dance started joining in. I was grateful for the distraction India provided and the peace she managed to bring. We continued throughout the night to dance to a few more songs take a few more drinks to the head before deciding to call it a night. Stumbling into the house I kicked my shoes off at the door making my way to my bedroom struggling to find the light. I went to take a seat on my bed seeing both a letter and a manilla envelope. The envelope from my dad the letter from Jordan. My hands trembled slightly gripping the letter not wanting to pull myself back into a state of hurt. I sat the letter to the side grabbing the envelope ripping it open out tumbling out a set of keys, inside the deed to the house and a small note from my father  

Josie i'm sorry for earlier on behalf of your mother and sister inside is the deed for the house the keys as well as the address I love you always pops 

Part of me was still angry but I had a soft spot for my dad and he knew that. Officially tired I sat the paperwork on the side table stripping my clothes and turning off the light, deciding to shower in the morning. It wasn't long till sleep overtook me.

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A month had passed since the day of the funeral and I had tried to bury the emotions of Jordan being gone so much that I buried myself in other things to keep my mind occupied. Working at the hospital being a CNA provided some distraction and what my job didn’t cover in the distraction field schooling took care of the rest. In its own way they also provided me an excuse and shielding from my unrelenting mother who still made it her business to call pestering me to rethink my decision about the home. I won’t. It was one thing I had power over, and I wouldn't relinquish it so easily. For the first two weeks of his passing I went back and forth on whether or not I would actually move into the home not feeling quite right about it but after starting to feel like things were becoming stagnant decided it was best to move. I slowly drove up the light graveled path mouth dropping at the sight of the house that sat nestled at the end of the dirt road. It was a stunning two-story ranch style house with a wraparound porch. Coming into a stop I tossed the boxed moving truck into park hopping down to get a better look at the home “this is gorgeous “India stated walking up after parking her car. “I agree can't believe he left this for me” I marveled taking it all in “well believe it toots now let's gawk at it from the inside we got work to do” she declared holding her hand out for the truck keys. Dropping them into her hands she went to grab the first box as I went to open the door. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior. The multicolored stone walls paired well with the mahogany hardwood floors and high ceilings. The set up with the furniture accented well no doubt due to Arrielle's careful selection when they were here.” Girl this is neeiceeee it don't smell like roaches in here or nothing "India shouted carrying in one of the boxes “You don't have the sense you were born with” I chuckled at her reference to girls trip “you ready to get this over with”. She groaned knowing just like me how long of a process unpacking was going to be. Without another moment of hesitation we jumped in getting started.

After what felt like years later I folded the last of my clothes, placing them away as India flopped on my bed groaning. “ I hate your don't need a man for shit mentality that was horrible” she grumbled “ It wasn't that bad” I giggled plopping down beside her “ Like hell it wasn't my ass is going to be hurting for days” she countered “I'll make it up to you I promise” I teased pinching her cheek “ yes you will tonight I want dinner fried chicken, mac the works” she responded smacking my hand away sitting up on her elbows “ Your joking” I asked not knowing if she was serious or not “nope I'm serious”. “Dee I don't feel like it” I whined “tough shit” she said not wavering. She was just as stubborn as I was.” Fine but you're getting the groceries” I huffed out relenting. “Cool with me I'm gonna go home shower then i'll swing back”. She jumped up grabbing her keys walking out. Taking this as an opportunity I grabbed a t-shirt and underwear from my drawer walking into the large master bathroom. I turned on the shower allowing the warm water to run relaxing my tense muscles strained by the lifting. After I finished I got dressed walking back in the room looking for my phone realizing I must have left it downstairs. Making my way to the stairs I could see the light from the living room reflecting on the wall. I figured India may have left it on that was until it flicked off. I froze on the top stair as my mind began to race, trying to rationalize what I saw. Maybe it was India. No, she wouldn't be back that quick. Maybe it was a blown fuse but a scared part of me didn't want to chance it. Tip toeing back upstairs I looked for something to use as a weapon eyes landing on the hammer I had used earlier to hang photos. Clutching it tight I slowly crepted downstairs the only noise was the sound of my heart thumping in my ears. Rounding the corner I froze seeing a figure standing a few feet away in the doorway the moonlight highlighted their 5’8 figure while providing shade from their face. Fear momentarily fueling me I got ready to charge forward when someone grabbed hold of my wrist twisting it causing my grip on the hammer to loosen eventually dropping it. Not having time to process what was happening I was grabbed and flipped on my back pinned down by the larger party. Still I struggled against the intruder managing to momentarily free my arm. I drew my arm back throwing blows anywhere they would land this didn't do anything but piss the person of as I was lifted slightly from the floor and slammed back down causing me to yelp in pain. Panic set in flooding through my nervous system. “TERRY WAIT SHIT I THINK THAT'S A WOMAN” a voice cut through from the other side. The lights flicked on seconds later giving me the chance now to get a look at the intruders. The one by the door stubbled faced held panic as he too assessed our current situation. Remembering the heavy weight at my midsection my eyes shot to the one who had me pinned. My breath hitched in my throat.

His honey kissed face glared back down at me while his plump lips twisted up in a snarl. His chiseled arms flexed as he kept me held in place but the most defining thing however. His eyes. A beautiful pool of blue gray encircling hints of hazel and green something similar to a painter who accidentally had his watercolor paints blending together into a perfect mess. “If I let you go do you promise to not do anything stupid” his baritone voice questioned snapping me from my awkward eye raping. I nodded in response. He stood pulling me effortlessly up with him. “Who are you and what are you doing in my house?” I asked finding my voice coming back as I rubbed my now sore shoulder. “I'm Mike that's terry" the one from the doorway answered “sorry if we scared you” he said sheepishly. “Scared is an understatement and that still doesn't answer why you're here or why I shouldn't be calling the cops for breaking and entering and assault” I fussed through gritted teeth. Still not saying much since turning me loose the one name terry walked past me grabbing something from his bag on the floor walking back over to me handing me a piece of paper. Jordans handwriting.

Hey T if you're receiving this letter it's because I'm dead. It's funny thinking on it seeing as the squad always joked calling me mister invincible but yet here I am gone. I thank you for always being there for me since meeting you you've always been like a brother to me rather than a fellow marine in arms. Given our prior conversation about your situation, I wanted to do one thing for you. I offer you T a place of solitude if you ever need to get away the address is listed below keys are hidden in the porch light fixture. Continue to be great .. I love ya man  

                                                          Jordan signing out for the last time 

I looked up at him handing the letter back to him. "You knew my brother” I said feeling the wave of his death rushing back again. I watched as his face widened in realization of who I was. “Yes we served together. I apologize for roughing you up I didn't realize you were Jordans sister. I thought you might have been someone that had broken in”. I nodded understanding. “it's fine I thought the same” I said calming down. “Look we don't want to crowd your space and sorry for the intrusion. I didn't think anyone would be here. Your brother as you can see failed to mention you moving in we will leave” Terry said signaling for mike to grab their bags. I sighed looking towards the ceiling having an internal battle with myself and before I could stop myself the words flew from my mouth “You can stay”

[abbatoirablaze]

Locked Up, Chapter 17

Word Count:  1.5k

Warnings:  slight angst, mentions of murder. 

“Honey…I’m home…VIV?  Where are you?” Viv looked up from her spot in their shared bedroom, a sigh leaving her lips.  Ransom frowned when he saw her standing there over her work uniform; a look of sadness crossing her features, “What’s wrong?”

“I miss Ari…”

Ransom’s frown deepened as he pushed himself against the door’s frame.  His arms crossed, “I miss Ari too, baby…”

“He’s all alone in there, Hugh…”she reminded him, “I know that we all talked about me leaving the prison after the riot, but I didn’t think it would be this different….I-I wanna go back, Hugh…”

“He’ll be out soon, baby.” He reminded her with a soft look. 

She bit her lip and looked up at her boyfriend, “it’s not soon enough, Hugh…”

“Hey…” he sighed, pushing himself away from the door and towards where she stood at the edge of the bed.  His arms wrapped loosely around her waist, “he’ll be here with us, soon enough.  I’ve got Tony to put me on as his release contact, so the day he’s out, he’s coming home.  He’ll be here with us…and we won’t have to worry about any of that, ever again.”

She gave him a soft look.

Even though he was right, it didn’t feel any easier though.

“Hugh…”

“He’ll be home soon!” he repeated, his grip tightening ever so slightly, “and everything will be fine.  I promise.  Then you can quit the jail, and I can support the three of us!”

“Hugh-“

“Hey…I want to do this!” he reminded her, “I want to provide for you and Ari.  I want to make sure that I contribute to our relationship.”

 “Hugh-“

“Don’t ‘Hugh’, me” he smirked as she shifted around in his arms to look at him.  Her arms wrapped around his neck and he stared deep into her eyes, “I want you and Ari to live with me in this condo.  I want to create our future here!  We’ve talked about this even before the riots…”

“We thought you were joking,” she giggled, “Hugh, we can’t live off of your inheritance.”

“Of course we can,” he smirked, “speaking of living off of things though…I did order dinner…it’s on the counter.”

“Thai?”

He smiled even more, “Of course…”

“God I love you!” she squealed, pressing her lips to his. 

Ransom sighed happily against her lips, his own contentment seeping into the moment.

This was his life.

He was allowed to be content.  Allowed to be vulnerable.  Allowed to be soft with Viv and Ari. 

Viv pulled away a second later, her hand finding one of Ransom’s as she pulled him out of the bedroom and down the hall. 

“So how was your day?”

Viv sighed, looking back at him as she kept walking, “it wasn’t bad…long, but not bad.  I just don’t really want to be there anymore….because-“

“Because your two favorite inmates aren’t there?” he teased. 

She stopped and turned back towards him, “maybe…what would you say if I agreed?”

“Quit…” he shrugged, wrapping his arms back around her waist, “stay home all day.  Be my lovely little housewife until Ari gets out…then the two of you can be my lovely little bed bunnies…and when I come home from the publishing company every night, you can show me how much you missed me.”

She smiled, “only one issue with your little fantasy, Mr. Drysdale.”

“And what’s that?”

“We’re not married,” she giggled, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips, “and I doubt you’re proposing to Ari any time soon when he does get out.  He’d probably be the one proposing to you.”

“You don’t think I have the gall to propose to Ari?”

She giggled, turning on her heel, “I didn’t say that.”

He gasped as she continued towards the kitchen, “I’ll have you know, I have all the gall to propose to either one of you.”

“Sure you do!” she giggled, “I’m surprised Ari and I managed to get you to agree to a relationship to begin with.  We-oh my god.”

Ransom smiled when she stopped at the entrance of the kitchen and dining room area. 

Most of the lights had been dimmed, but candles lined the walls. 

Giant red and silver foil balloons were in the corners. 

White rose petals line the floor.

Sure, on the table were the Thai takeout boxes.  But it looked like a set from a romance movie. 

Ransom let go of her hand and reached for his pocket, pulling the small, velvet box out.  He’d gotten down on one knee before she’d managed to turn. 

Viv’s hands went to her face as she held back a gasp, “Hughie…”

“I know we talked about it when I was locked up, and unofficially proposed to you, but I wanted to make sure that I did it right, Viv,” he said quickly as he opened the box.  She gasped once more, seeing the beautiful diamond ring, “Viv…you saw me when I was at my lowest.  When I had been locked away from the world.  When I was angry and unforgiving.  I had tried everything I could to push people away.  But you broke down every wall I put up.  You saw past the insecurities and aggression and saw me.  The real me.  I love you for everything you are, and the man you make me want to be.  And I want to put a ring on your finger, and support you in any way that I can, because of it.  Viv…will you marry me?”

“They’re telling me that I only have two more weeks…” Ari said nervously as his fingers tapped on the table.  Ransom smirked, looking at his fiancé.  Viv bit her lip, and Ari caught the glance between the two of them, “What?  What is it?”

Ransom looked at Viv and she shuffled before pulling something out of her pocket, “about that…we have some surprises.”

“You ever wonder why we’re at a table and not talking through the phones?” Ransom smirked. 

It took Ari a moment before his eyes widened and he gasped.  He reached for one of Viv’s and Ransom’s hands, “am-am I getting out of here?”

“They are getting your stuff right now,” Ransom confirmed with a short nod, “but we asked for some private moments while they got your discharge information together.”

Viv nodded, biting her bottom lip as she looked to Ransom, “that’s not all…turn it over, Ari…”

Ari took the small square, flipping it over.  Tears lined his eyes as he looked back up to Viv, “baby…is-is this what I think it is?”

“We have to go get Hugh…”

“He’s doing this for you baby,” Ari sighed as he ran his hand nervously on the back of his neck, “he made me promise that we wouldn’t leave the showers unt-“

“YOU PLANNED IT OUT WITH HIM!”

“Baby…it’s not as simple as you want to believe.  You’ve tried talking Hugh out of things before,” Ari grunted, “has it ever worked?”

“We-well no…but…”

“Exactly…I told him that we’d hunker down.  He’s going to take care of Bodecker and then he’ll be here…”

“We had a plan…” he admitted, “there are others who are going to try to escape.  Some are going to try to  do as much damage as they can to the prison.  We’re going to stay here, hunkered down.”

“Ari, I can’t just sit here…what if Lee-“

“I gave Hugh an edge,” he admitted, “and we paid someone to load Bodecker’s gun with blanks if he managed to get to it.”

“What did you do?”

“I don’t want you worrying about it, baby.”

“THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE PLANNED A MURDER WITH OUR BOYFRIEND!” She screamed at him, “HUGH IS NOT A KILLER!”

“He is for you…because he knew that if we let Bodecker live, he’d come after you,” Ari frowned, his arms looping around his girlfriend’s waist, “that what we wanted wasn’t going to happen.”

“And what is it that you want, Ari?”

“A lasting legacy…” he muttered, “We don’t have much time with the shrink, Everett and Barnes going to get supplies in exchange on staying with us…I want to fulfill my part…Hugh gets to marry you first…”

“And what do you get?”

“What we’ve always talked about…” he muttered softly, his eyes trailing down between the two of them, “I want a legacy with you…I want a baby, Viv…”

“Ari…”

“Do you still want to be with me and Hugh?” he asked gently, “Even after knowing that we’re monsters?”

Tears filled her eyes, “d-don’t say that the two of you are monsters, Ari…you’re not.”

“Do you still want to be with us?”

“O-of course I do,” she whimpered, “I love you.  I love you and Hughie…”

“I want us to make a baby then, Viv…please.”

Ari looked up from the picture in complete disbelief, “wh-what is this?”

“Ten weeks,” she muttered softly, tears lining her eyes as she looked at him, “we-we’re going to have a baby, Ari…and you get to come home for all of it…”

“A baby!” he whispered, his fingers brushing gently over the picture.  He looked to Ransom, “We-we’re going to be daddies…”

“Yeah!” Ransom smiled, as he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand.  His free hand popped up on the table and he slid the opened, blue velvet box across, “say yes, Ari…”

Ari’s heart felt full as he looked at the engagement ring.  He looked between his girlfriend and boyfriend, and Viv sniffled, “marry us, Ari…”

“Yes!” the burly man sobbed as Viv’s free hand reached into the box and she pulled the ring out, holding it out to him, “YES!”

Chapter 18

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @cjand10, @angstylittleb1tch

[jeanie-g]

I finally had some time to sit down and I immediately blasted through your aries series and oh my goddd. it was a marvel. I had so much fun I had to physically slow myself down as I was reading so I didn't miss anything LOL

first of all the tender-feelings-angsty-soft ache that was can you see my red light was phenomenal. it was so moving. I took like three or four pauses bc the near heartbreak I was feeling on Jamie's behalf was UNBEARABLE. so many little points, so many little details and internal dialogue pieces made this fic sooooo good. much to think about. I loved the set up of jacknico's wedding and their vows. I love the banter between tzjd and the moments where I was like I swear they're both going to go for it...! but nothing!! I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, which made the ending all the more satisfying to reach.

fave line was hysterically: “ABBA right outta the gate?” TK cries, scooching back in his chair to stand. “Say less, brother.”

not even main pairing related I just love TK being the most iconic fella ever.

and on the other hand, reading stay by my side made me feel like I was sinking into a hot bath after a long day - all fuzzy and warm on the inside, and just so. so nice. and comforting. the domesticity but liveliness of a jacknico anniversary made me nostalgic for something I haven't even experienced yet LOL. their little jokes back and forth, the bit of a time jump into the near future, all the possibilities of what everything could be...man I love stuff like that. this fic was absolutely delightful, from the sweet moments to the spicy ones to the very relaxed, easygoing banter. but also the jacknico revelation w/ jamie and trevor's engagement made me laugh so loud like oh no, they really WERE the catalyst.

“Oh, we’ve created a monster,” Nico says. “We couldn’t have waited until after midnight to request the Coldplay song?” - had me cackling.

I can't wait for the final fic! thanks for sharing this!

dude this means so much!!!! thank you for reading and sending such a lovely message. i'm a sucker for angsty yet satisfying love stories, and writing these two couples puts such a smile on my face.

honestly, these are two of my fave fics i've written cuz they just feel so real. they're pretty different, like you said, but they have similar cores i think. i loved loved loved getting into jamie and jack's heads and detailing their pov through the narrator - creating such different worldviews that, in turn, create two fics with such different tones! like, we start w jamie as this cynical, very self-aware guy in love. he wants things to change but is afraid of pursuing it. he's angsty, forlorn, sad - and we see that. meanwhile, jack is this positive, slightly oblivious guy in love who wants nothing to change. everything is sunshine and rainbows - and we feel that. and ofc by the end they both learn their respective lessons. i love writing!!

also, finding ways to tie "stay by my side" back to "can you see my red light" was too much fun - besides themes, there's some similarity between the language and general structure (i really am a language nerd and can gush about the semantics of writing 24/7). i also made a list of "things jamie didn't notice about the nicojack wedding cuz he was too busy staring at trevor," like jack's hickey and the presence of quinn's girlfriend LOL. but i will tell you, nico and jack being the catalyst for the "yellow" moment was a happy accident. i didn't think of it until i was writing stay by my side and thought it tied things together neatly.

and the fact that you're the second person to call out the abba line is sooo funny.

i've started writing the third and oh man the ANGST. the FLUFF. it's luke's pov, and let's just say some time has passed and now he's the one looking for love (and change)

thank u thank u for your kind words! (also, i'm working steadily on the berserk fic and im hyped) <3

[thatoneloudintrovert]

Summary of my session:

I leave the Wall™ for the first time this session and just a few minutes after I sink into the ground as I'm trying to walk. I wasn't paying enough attention and sank into the powdered snow on the ground. I freeze out of fear for longer than I should have and missed the time where I could have still made it out. I freeze to death there, alone and cold. (Just like I was in the cold desert night, up in that tower.)

I wake up with a start back under the tree I took my little cat nap next to last session and decide that I need to be useful to the team. I haven't done anything to be useful. I don't know how to be a good friends, but I should know how to be useful. I need to be useful. (the mushrooms... a gombák... azt mondták nekem)

I go to the village I heard so much about in search of some villagers but I find there are none left. My body is still cold and shaking from my death earlier and feel angry about how useless I am.

I burn the village to warm my body and take my anger out.

I make my way back to the Wall™ in hopes something that could make me useful would come up and it does, in the worst way possible.

When I get back to the Wall™ I see it covered in lava, out of the corner of my eye I see Manu running back towards her base with the Northlanders.

I run inside to see the fire spread to the trees. This is not what I wanted when I said I'm cold.

I try to at first get rid of the fire with water, but when that doesn't seem to help, not enough anyway, I start chopping a line in the trees to stop the spread of fire.

It stops the spread, but most of the forest is gone, the only thing left untouched is the shrine.

It must be divine intervention! The watchers or the mushrooms must have heard my prayers, they must like us! They are real, they have to be. They made it so I could be back in time to save the shrine!

I kneel in front of the untouched shrine and pray, to the watchers, to the mushrooms while the rest of the forest burns behind me.

As I finish my prayer Elephant gets a kill as the boogeyman. They love us, oh they really do! The mushrooms are on our side! I write him a message congratulating him on the kill.

A new boogeyman is chosen, I am relieved to find it isn't me.

I leave the still burning forest to find a purpose.

While I find no purpose I do find Rae and we make fun of Rachie together. It's fun until Rachie shoots at us. I leave when it happens.

On the way home I see Manu killed Kazan as the boogeyman, I don't like her.

I build another wall around the Wall™ for extra protection on the other side of the river. This will make sieges a lot harder for the others. I am usefull. (A gombák megmondták...)

I see in chat while building that Astoria dies to mobs, I send her a message asking thhem if they're okay. He says he's okay, so I believe them, like a good friend should, I think.

As I'm working on one side Ari pours lava on the other side. It doesn't do much with the wall as it's made of stone and there's a river on the side it was poured towards. She runs when she notices me still on the wall.

At the end of session Elephant comes home with news of a destroyed village. I take pleasure in telling him that that's my work.

What a session! My first death this season too, it was great angst potential, so I love it

The mushrooms are now speaking my native language to try and entice me into following them, not like I need enticement.

All hail the watcher wheel and listen to the mushrooms!

Fated Life session 3

Bluishspace aka me (He/Him) - 20:00

@a-sociopath-do-your-research aka Oli (Xe/Void/It) - 20:00

@bendy8me aka Bendy (She/Her) - 19:00

@juno0n aka Juno (She/Her) - 21:00

@raeistrying aka Rae (She/Her) - 21:00

@silverorchideon aka Orchid (He/They) - 21:00

@communistcatboi aka Catboi (He/They) - 21:00

@theblackglitch aka Glitch (She/Her) - 21:00

@kazanfamily aka Kazan (He/They) - 22:00

@twisttea aka Twisttea (She/Her) - 22:00

@cowgirlginger aka Ginger (She/Her) - 20:00

@thatlonelygirl07 aka Manu (She/Her) - 21:00

@lizzlylou aka Liz (They/Them) - 21:00

@thatoneloudintrovert aka Floracica (She/Her) - 21:00

@not-ready-for-gaster aka Bee (She/They) - 20:00

@whats-she-gonna-post-next aka Starfall (She/They) - 20:00

@frostywisp aka Fros (They/Them) - 20:00

@the-local-pineapple aka Tessa (She/Her) - 21:00

@spectresharmony aka Ari (She/Her) - 21:00

@astoriagalaxy aka Astoria (All) - 19:00

@3-pots-of-soup aka Soup (Any) - 19:00

@hayunjin aka Hayunjin (She/Her) -20:00

@craftingelephant aka Elephant (He/Him) - 20:00

@thejade-empress aka Jade (She/Her) - 20:00

@rachiecrown aka Rachie (She/Her/Any) - 21:00

First, the wheel for this session:

Lower chance of attempted monopoly and per aquisition as we are nearing middle of the season and higher chance of meetups, pranks and Adventure.

Session 3 begins:

Despite having lowered the attempted monopoly chance by a lot Kazan still attempts a sand monopoly.

Floracica gets stuck in powdered snow and dies. -1h to Floracica.

Juno finds an abandoned mineshaft.

Starfall breaks Twisttea's crafting table as she is using it.

Ras travels to the Nether to mine netherite.

Hayunjin also travels to the Nether but is killed by a Ghast. -1h to Hayunjin.

Elephant fills Jade's base with mushrooms.

Orchid and Bee meet Astoria near the Wall™ asking them to be a spy. They refuse(?).

Rachie steals from multiple factions.

Soup pranks Catboi using three simple steps: Don't do anything, act sus while near his base, paranoia.

Liz, Blue and Glitch work together as they wait for the boogeyman to be chosen.

Manu and Bendy work together as they wait for the boogeyman to be chosen.

Ari uses a fishing rod to mess with Ginger.

Oli, Fros and Tessa discuss the season thus far.

The boogeyman is chosen, It's ???.

Hayunjin trades diamonds to Rachie in exchange of materials that Rachie secretly stole.

Bendy ventures into the mines.

Kazan and Orchid make a secret alliance.

Floracica travels to the village but finds it empty of villagers and burns it down.

Fros finds a wolf and tames it.

Oli challenges Ari to a water clutch, they both survive.

Tessa, Twisttea and Blue prove their loyalty to eachother by trading their lives to eachother in a circle.

Manu covers the Wall™ with lava, the dark oak forest is set in fire.

Glitch and Rae mock eachother, Astoria is also there in a "live Astoria reaction" style.

Soup travels to the Nether to get blaze rods.

Elephant murders Liz revealing themselves as the boogeyman. -2h to Liz. +1h to Elephant.

I didn't know wether to reroll the boogeyman now so I put a poll in the discord with the options: Yes and No with absolutely no context and yes won so.

The boogeyman is chosen again, It's ???.

Starfall and Jade travel to the Nether and work together to get ender pearls.

Catboi, Juno and Ginger have a fishing competition.

Liz goes to the Nether, Blue and Glitch come with.

Hayunjin attempts a sand monopoly. (Not again not again not again not again-)

Orchid sneaks into the dark oak forest stealing some saplings and some mushroom blocks.

Ginger builds a cobblestone tower to build height.

Fros goes to the village only to find it destroyed.

Bendy asks Starfall to join their team, Starfall agrees.

Ari is killed by a spider. -1h to Ari.

Soup creates a fake treasure hunt across the server, Astoria falls for it.

Kazan and Jade encounter eachother in the forest and get into a discussion.

Oli sneaks in the Northlanders base but is caught by Bee and is forced to try to play it off as a visit.

Floracica and Rae make fun of Rachie, Rachie shoots at them.

Catboi finds a beautiful white horse and takes it home.

Manu, Twisstea and Tessa craft compassess for all members of the Northlanders. (Team specific adventure! Woo!)

Juno and Elephant challenge eachother to a race. Juno wins.

And that's the half way mark, to recap the time changes:

-2h to Liz, +1 to Elephant, -1 to Hayunjin, -1h to Floracica, -1h to Ari.

Back to the session:

Bee and Blue start a cult in the name of the goddess of blooms to fight off the mushrooms.

Hayunjin manages to get a music disk by trapping a creeper in a boat and getting a skeleton to shoot at it.

Juno travels to the Nether and manages to get a wither skull, there are currently three across the server.

Manu kills Kazan revealing herself as the boogeyman. -2h to Kazan. +1h to Manu.

Ginger and Catboi meet up in secret (In a scheming way, NOT a romantic way).

Rae creates a secret creeper farm.

Oli joins discovers the place of worship for the bloom goddess cult and slowly backs away.

Twisttea joins the bloom goddess cult. (Northlanders work together always)

Glitch travels to the Nether but doesn't get anything cool from the trip.

Liz, Starfall and Kazan fish together then Kazan attempts to con them of an hour each and is chased away.

Orchid decides to make a path between bases as no one has done it yet, literally no one he sees trusts the path.

Bendy sets herself on fire while attempting arson, she dies. -1h to Bendy.

Soup and Ari meet up while in the forest, they discuss the Wall™ people.

Floracica builds a wall around her team's base. (But her teams base is a wall. So like another wall around The Wall™) to stop the impure outside from entering.

Fros asks Rachie for an alliance imagining a secret two person alliance outside of the main teams and Rachie agrees interpreting the request as them wanting to be part of Rachie's team. I'm sure this won't cause issues.

Astoria floods Jade's base with water.

Manu, Tessa and Elephant tell stories around the campfire. Elephant weaves tales of spores and mycelium, Manu and Tessa are concerned.

Glitch steals the wither head from Juno and burns it to prevent a wither from being spawned. (Well that didn't last long)

Manu joins the bloom cult. (Wooo!)

Hayunjin messes with Bendy using a fishing rod, Blue joins in too at some point.

Astoria is cornered by mobs and dies, -1h to Astoria.

Ari places lava on Floracica's new wall outside the Wall™.

Tessa tries to fill Starfall's inventory with light gray glass panes but is unsuccesfull.

Liz makes an attempt at a sugarcane monopoly, it doesn't go anywhere but I appreciate that It's not sand.

Rae finds a abandoned mineshaft while mining but it has already been looted.

Soup finds a polar fox trapped in a boat and takes it home.

Elephant, Ginger and Bee all individually travel to the destroyed village. (I Imagine it becomes real akward for Ginger third wheeling to the leaders of the two major weird opposing cults in the server.)

Oli takes some time to make a secret storage room hidden in case someone tries to steal from void.

Rachie stalks Kazan. But like. As a prank.

Jade creates a base on top of Catboi's base, he does not appreciate. Jade runs away laughing.

Fros traps Juno in one of those iron doors with pressure plate in the middle traps.

Orchid and Twisttea spend the last few minutes of the session fishing as Twisstea definitely totally isn't trying to get Orchid to join a cult.

And uh

See you in session 4!

[cosmorice]

❛The Affair❜ pt. 1

pairing: bts!jin x reader ; nct127!johnny seo x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, smut

warnings: sex, married life, children, swearing, daddy kink

wc: 1.5k

part 2

SUMMARY: your picture perfect marriage begins to crumble behind the scenes as you meet johnny seo, a member of another well-known group, NCT-127.

   Your eyes flutter open as sunlight peaks through the blinds. Light snores make its way around the room as your husband, Jin, is sound asleep next to you. 

-

   Jin was lovely, he truly was. You had originally moved to Seoul to study teaching abroad at the young age of 19, but your love for it grew so much, that you ended up just staying there.

   It was almost like a fairytale. The way you both met. Jin had arrived at Lotte Mall with Tae-Hyung, accompanied by several body guards. You were casually shopping for a work outfit, as you had just gotten hired for a teaching job at a local High School. Screaming pierced your ears as a crowd formed. What the fuck is going on? Fixating your gaze towards the commotion, you saw a few guys along with bulky guards. Must be idols. 

   Jin’s gaze suddenly meets yours, causing a palpitation within your poor little heart. He was hypnotizing.

-

   You softly remove the sheets off of you, causing the light brown-haired boy to stir.

   “Mmph baby don’t leave.” He grumbles tiredly whilst pulling you back. You manage to examine his disheveled hair, chucking to yourself. You resume to peppering him with kisses, causing him to wake up and crash his lips onto yours. 

   “Not so fast. Ari is still sleeping!”

   “We never get mommy & daddy time unless if my parents are watching her.” He groans. You knew he was right. Ari was a heavy sleeper, taking after her father, & her room was also down the hall. Contemplating if you want to take the risk waking your 4 year old daughter up, you hesitantly agree and pick up from where you both started. 

   His lips feel soft as they move against yours in sync, his hands moving swiftly underneath your shirt. His cold hands cup your warm breasts, since you almost never wear bras to bed, earning him a light groan from you. You then slide your hand over his growing member, teasing him.

   “Don’t do that.” He growls lowly into your ear before flipping you over. His hands slide into your tight-fitting thongs, placing a finger over your wet area. You moan with pleasure as he begins to rub your clit gently. “You like that baby?”

   “Yes, please daddy.”

   “Please what?” 

   “Please fuck me.” You whimper, legs shaking as your orgasm approaches. Boy does he know how to work his fingers. 

   “Cum for me first baby.” With those words alone, you release your juices onto his slick fingers, crying from the overstimulation has he continues. Jin smirks to himself, eyes darkened as his lust takes over. His fingers glisten as he takes them out before entirely ripping your underwear off. 

   His boxers slide down softly, allowing his cock to spring out. “Can you handle this?” You nod in return. He positions himself over you, lining up with your entrance. Excitement fills your body as this was a rare occurrence since becoming parents.

   He rams inside of you, stretching you out, and causing you to briefly tear up. His lips connect with yours once more, resulting in a sloppy yet heated makeout session. “I’m gonna fucking cum baby,” Jin pants, as his movements gradually become slower as he groans loudly with pleasure. 

-

   You examine the beads of sweat dripping down your husbands back as he stands up. “I have to head out for practice today babe.”

   “I thought you had today off?” You say, a hint of frustration evident in your tone. With that, he walks over to your side of the bed, cupping your cheeks and kissing your forehead gently.

   “I know and I’m sorry y/n. I really am. I’ll make it up to you and Ari, I promise. I know we had a family day planned today. I’ll be able to give you my card so you both can still go. Okay?”

   “Alright.” You force a small smile to form upon your face. Truth is, you knew what you were getting into. When you initially started the relationship, BTS was popular but their schedules were nothing like they are now. Their popularity skyrocketed globally quite recently, after the marriage.

   The noise of the shower running fills throughout your master bedroom. Groaning, you plop back down into bed.

-

   It was summer. The time where families are able to soak up memories with their children while school was out. The last time you all had spent time together as a family was last year. Since then, you’ve never had a full day together. Some days you regretted having a family with someone who had such a rigorous schedule. Hell, he couldn’t even make it to Ari’s birth, due to the soonest flight the boys booked from Paris not being able to arrive on time. It was his dream being apart of a global phenomenon though, and you knew that. 

   Once you both had found out you were pregnant, you thought he would have a change of heart and make family more of a priority. But nope. Don’t get me wrong though, you still loved him & he was one of the sweetest people you had been with, but, you wished his priorities were more, in check, to say the least.

-

   Guilt plagues Jin’s mind as the warmth engulfs his sweaty body during rehearsal. 

   “Don’t be so hard on yourself. She knows how extreme our schedules can be.” Ji-min pats his friend on the back while taking a seat next to the exhausted boy.

   “It’s summer though, these are the months where y/n is free since school’s out.” Jin sighs.

   “I know it’s hard but it pays off in the long run. She knew what she was signing up for y’know. It’s not like she doesn’t love you.” Ji-min smiles glumly at his somber friend. The trainer resumes instruction, prompting the boys to put a halt on their conversation. “We’ll talk more after practice over some tteokbokki.” Jin smiles at the thought of eating one of the many amazing foods Korea has to offer.

-

   You sigh as couples walk past you along with their children. You wish that could be you, Jin, & Ari. Your bubbly daughter snaps you out of the sad-like trance you were in as you walk around the amusement park. The humidity caused you to wear a simple pair of denim shorts along with a white tank top. Ari on the other hand, wore a matching rainbow top and bottoms, along with cute bows on her pigtails.

   “Mommy carousel!” She yells as her tiny finger points towards the ride containing the beautifully painted horses. 

   “Okay okay!” You giggle as the exuberant child pulls you with all her might towards the ride. Standing in line, the smell of cotton candy fills your nostrils as your daughter watches the ride excitedly. A tall figure stands directly in front of you, with a child of his own you guess. 

   The child standing next to him turns around and faces your daughter, smiling widely as he introduces himself as Han. Quite the social butterfly this kid was. He looks to be around Ari’s age, if not at least 2 years older. 

   “I’m Ari!” The tall man next to Han turns around and giggles at the sight of the two kids chatting. He then looks up at you and smiles brightly. In all truthfulness, this mystery man was handsome. No. What are you thinking? You’re married for fucks sake.

   “Sorry about him, he can be quite the chatterbox.” He rubs the back of his forehead a bit timidly.

   “No problem! I work with kids and absolutely adore them, so I’m used to it.”

   “Ah I see, are you a teacher? Or what do you do?”

   “I’m a teacher bu-,” 

   “NEXT IN LINE PLEASE!” The ride attendant yells tiredly before you could even finish your sentence. Poor lady, she looked completely overworked.

   “Dad, can Ari & I go on? Please!” 

   “I, Uh, as long as it’s okay with Ari’s mom.” With that, the man looks over to you, causing Ari and Han to also stare up at you, eyes pleading.

   “Okay just look after each other. And don’t give me those puppy eyes Ari, you know I always say yes!” 

-

   As the carousel emits a slightly annoying musical tune, you turn to Han’s father. 

   “I don’t believe I ever got your name. I only know you as Ari’s mom so far.” He chuckles.

  “I’m Y/N-Seok, and you?”

  “Johnny, Johnny seo.” He extends his hand, inviting you to shake it. You hadn’t realized how big his hand would be, but it was a given with how tall he was.

   “Mommy look!” Ari screams, as she waves happily along with Han to you. A chuckle escapes both you & Johnnys’ lips as the two continue to talk amongst each other.

   “So how old is Han? He seems like he may be around Ari’s age?” You sweetly ask.

   “He’s 6 but turning 7 this year. How about your little one?”

   “Ari is 4 but my baby is turning 5 this year. They grow so quickly!” You exclaim as the ride begins slowing down, signaling its end. You and the blonde-haired Johnny walk towards the kids as they leave the crowded ride.

   “Well it was lovely meeting you guys! Maybe I’ll see you both around!”

   “But mommy, I want to play with Han!” Ari pouts as she tugs on your leg. You look over to Johnny who smiles,

   “I don’t see why not.” 

[imaginedreamwrite]

Higher Love —angst—

“Are you busy Friday?” Ari had a habit of needing his hands on you whenever you were in his presence, he had a habit of needing to be inhaling your scent every chance he got because he was addicted.

“Not particularly, why?” You turned your head and looked at him over your shoulder, coyly studying him as he placed his hands on the bookshelf, one beside your head and the other by your hip.

“I’d like to take you out after the game,” Ari leaned in, pressed his chest against your back as his lips grazed the shell of your ear, “a city date.”

“We’re in the city now,” you posed, teasing him as he nipped your ear and allowed you to feel his desire.

“A place where we have no restrictions, where no one knows.” Ari moved the hand by your hip and settled it on your belly, pulling you flush against him and grinding the curve of your ass against his hard-on. “You and me-“

“Ari,” you shuddered and moaned his name, your eyes fluttering closed as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, “a start to you and me?”

“Yes, honey.” He had whispered sweetly. “You and me, omega.”

The notion was beautiful until a knock on the door had disrupted the moment. The notion was beautiful until you and Ari were forced apart by a woman walking into the room dressed in a one piece jumper, her blonde hair piled on top of her head in a flawless knot.

“Jenny?” Ari questioned, stepping away from you toward the woman, his eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing here?”

“Ari! Hi!” She was around his age, she was beautiful and flawless.

“Jenny, what are you doing here?” When Ari questioned her, her eyes had flickered over to you and narrowed in your direction as if she was trying to figure you out.

“I…have a job here. I took a position. The dean called me and offered me a job. I’m working here now.” She had smiled at Ari while talking to you, sending a message that felt possessive.

“The dean called you?” Ari was poignant about keeping himself between you and her as much as physically possible, though it wasn’t enough to completely obscure her line of view of you.

“I’m sorry, you’re with a student.” Her smile was bright, obtusely so as she strode toward Ari and first kissed his cheek, and then held her hand out for you to shake.

“I’m Jenny Reiter. I’m going to be teaching cultural studies. What is your major?” She was staring at you expectedly while encroaching on Ari and you were left feeling trapped.

“I’m uhh…I’m taking fashion and…English lit.” There was a dull ache in your head, a dull ache at the back of your skull that was getting harder to ignore.

“Fashion? Really?”

“Jenny, I don’t have time for this.” Ari had stepped between you again, his hands pushing hers away.

“Oh, Ari!” She beamed again, ignoring the tension in the room. “I heard from a little birdie that you’re being head hunted by the Boston Bruins team.”

“Jenny, you need to leave.” Ari had tried again, he had tried again to get her to gone while you felt as if your lungs were going to implode, as if you were going to drop to your knees in agony.

“I need to go, I’m going to be late for my next class.” You withdrew from Ari, blinded by a slew of tears threatening to fall from your eyes and pricked by pins and needles.

“Y/N wait-“ the door opened and was slammed shut, your hands shaking as a feeling of doubt and discontent had rendered you unable to properly breathe.

[scorching-passion]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

———  BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME: Saphie, or just Saph is fine~

PRONOUNS: She/her

ZODIAC SIGN: Aries/Ox

TAKEN OR SINGLE: Married!

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

1 - My favourite game of all time is actually the Mass Effect Trilogy! OMFG, if you haven’t played these amazing games yet then what are you doing with your life??? 

2 - I always wanted to be a cartoonist when I was younger... I maintained the dream for the most part, eventually gaining qualifications in advanced video game concept and design until I realised how cut throat the industry is and realised that my sorry carcass would not survive for long xD

3 -  One of my favourite things to do as a child was to put gloves on my feet and pretend I was a frog... 

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED: Live journal, MSN, skype, tumblr, discord, wire... the list goes on~

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: Meme’s are brilliant for icebreakers and the continuation of verses like spin offs and such. But I like all these methods, to be fair. Bring it on, whatever floats your boat!

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER: I can’t really say I have a preference but I do mostly write for male muses even if I’ve had female muses in the past. 

MULTI OR SINGLE: Single... I haven’t the stones to manage a multimuse...

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): Yeah... I don’t use IRL face claims for my muses. 

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF: I do like a bit of fluff, but only a smattering. I find too much of it kind of gets a bit samey and I have a tendency to get bored after a bit xD, but a little is just golden! 

ANGST: I LOVE ANGST!! I think this is possibly my favourite level of RP, I tend to have this gift of turning the most happiest most joyful thread into an angst pit at the drop of a hat... oops. 

SMUT: But right after angst... I’m not ashamed to say that I adore a bit of smut, and not for the reasons you probably think. Smut is difficult to write and to make sound sexy. There is a very fine line between the sensual and the downright cringey, so it’s always a delightful challenge when I get to write a little spice~

BONUS: I’m a sucker for world building, and inner monologue. I do tend to write for characters who either don’t do much talking, or they talk SO MUCH that I need to have that time to explain what my muse is thinking/ feeling. I enjoy having my reader know what’s going on in my muses head just to keep the flow interesting. If this intimidates you you should please tell me to dial it back or I’ll write you a damn essay xD

Tagged: @roleplay-abiogenesis2​ (Thank you bby!) Tagging: Nah... just pinch it and say I did x3

[ratherbefangirling]

Fanfic writing asks! 💖

8, 43, 57, 72, 63 💕

Omg I wasn't actually expecting it but thank you so much 💓

Warning this is long

Question list

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Yoongi peels oranges sitting on the soft rug placed on the carpeted floor. He feeds a bit to everyone. For you though he has reserved a plate of your favourite food so that you can eat it with Namjoon who loves feeding you since he can't cook for you. You always told him it was fine but he just wanted to do something anything for you. So you let him do it. Let yourself be loved.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I dream a lot basically I have a string

•This Rapunzel AU where the reader has glasses

• Dragon Namjoon

•Yandere where he isn't originally obsessed with the reader but married to her

• Friend for rent

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Half conscious. Sometimes I do intend to portray things but a lot of times I leave that weird idea in a wip until it joins with something I later wrote. I very much write on whim for the life of me I cannot write otherwise.

I am very conscious about the moods and If there is a cliffhanger

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

It has to be by @mintsugarmy ; I have told her I'm going to print her comments and put it on my wall, other one on top of my head is @bri-mal because she said if I ever wrote a book she'd get it

(I'm doing this out of memory because I realise I have a bigger masterlist than I realised)

63. What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]?

Since you've not given any fic I'm going to talk in general. Firstly editing it, I used to write on my computer before but with tumblr it's written on my phone so autocorrect and everything and English not being my native or me not living in a west I feel like I don't know what universe it should be in.

Secondly like loosing motivation, for me story writing is like making a soup. So me writing it at first begins with full of energy then I need to let it simmer in my brain and some soups are easy others aren't and then when I serve the soup the response is so different that it's almost a gamble with myself. Often it feels like do they like my writing or was it fluke it turned out to thier taste.

Like any bts writer knows how maknae line fics easily steal the show and I began writingthinking I should try to make more hyung line to fill the gap but then I wanted to pay them all equal attention.

Also I see a lot of interaction with writers from thier followers that sometimes is disconcerting like what am I doing wrong. Ofcourse I take time to realise there is skill difference and some have been here far longer then I have and there is also the fact where I dont write NSFW but also I write yandere

As writer I can appreciate a growth in my work and I am grateful for the people and connections on this site and I do just like tumblr even without writing. Which is why I'm perpetually online lol.

Recently for my fic Belong I've recieved a lot of attention at first it made me happy. It is supposed to be a comforting fiction so that felt good but it was supposed to be short but a lot of people wanted to read more and I did enjoy writing something with minimal angst or drama. Just a feel good thing but after a while I feel overwhelmed by it and it sometimes feels unfair that the fic I've worked the most on recieves barely any attention as compared to belong. Writing for myself is fun and that is why I keep coming up with new things but it's plainly a lie to say if people's responses don't matter. I always appreciate people who question things about my writing because it means they're paying attention.

I think I got carried away haha. If you reached here thanks for reading.

And to anyone else reading this if you haven't already go check out @aris-ink works.

And I'm socially inept only because I kept reading novels about friends rather than making them so do you want to be mutuals? 💜💜

[yuzukult]

from home 08 || jjk & reader

title: from home pairing: jungkook x reader genre: richkid!jk, baker!reader, fakedating!au, fluff, angst, e2l, smut in future chapters word count: 7k+ prompt: jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class? a/n: two chapters in one week!! wow.... really working hard, aren’t i????? ;u; will proofread after my shower... enjoy! <3

please let me know if you’re interested in being tagged! but also let me know if you want to be removed! taglist: @scalubera @strugglingartistno16-2 @taestannie @teresaisla @drumsofheaven @vampgguk @christiandosworld @madjammil @jungkookieyoongs @bananagguknim @shuttheelleup @yobroitsjayden @jeoncrzy @grace1852 @ysljoon @jalexad @jenotation​ 

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If you could lunge over this opulent dining table, you would. Especially when you see Areum’s cheeky grin exchanging childhood stories with Mrs. Jeon, giggling to the point her head falls back against the chair.

It’s hard to hate her. It really is. She’s got that voice that reminds you of a Barbie doll, a body that matches it, chiseled jawline to pair with that S-cut figure. She’s sweet, especially the words she expresses in support of Jungkook and his endeavors, even if that sugar doesn’t get spread to you, you’re glad it’s sprinkled on Jungkook.

Then it clicks. Areum is a reminder of the girls you grew up envious of because of what they never realized they had.

It doesn’t help that she’s talking to Hayoung, the most perfect person you’ve ever seen (of course, right beside Guy Fieri on your list). She’s apparently best friends with Hayoung, or it seems so. They’re both models, out of this world strikingly beautiful, barely putting effort into their morning routine yet walk into the Jeon residence like it’s a runway. There’s a lot to talk about amongst the two of them since they reputedly strutted down fashion week together.

It only spurs the green-eyed monster within you and you have to refrain yourself from letting it out.

"Miss," One of the servers calls for you as you slide over to give him some room to place your dinner in front of you. "This is the four-week aged hay smoked duck breast with roasted apple, chestnut, and red cabbage marmalade. Please let me know if you'd like anything to accompany your meal, miss."

"The water is fine." You nod as he reiterates the action in return. Observing the duck before you, you're tempted to stab the breast to relieve some of that tension in you instead of at Areum. Jungkook shifts over before trading plates with you.

The duck had been sliced up into bite sized pieces. 

"What's that for?" You ask as he proceeds to cut what's on the plate that had been previously yours. Taking a bite of the duck, he gestures your plate with his fork afterwards. "Eat."

Areum side eyes the two of you. She feels the heat boiling inside of her when she instead is the one that stabs her duck with her fork. "You alright, Ari? Is the duck overcooked?" Hayoung asks, concerned. Areum turns, face immediately switching to a softer gaze. "Oh, no, it's all good. Just... testing how tender the meat is!" 

For the rest of the night, you feel like you don't fit in (more than you normally do) and stick out like a sore thumb. Areum blends in effortlessly, chiming in with her own personal experiences to build onto the conversation, full of giggles, flaunting her latest achievements while occasionally sneaking a glimpse at Jungkook to see if he's paying attention.

He's not, and you sigh of relief, because he's too busy listening to you explain why the chef made specific decisions for the dish served at dinner. If anything, you think he's bored of you and your constant run-offs about the dishes his family's kitchen serves, but he isn't, in fact, he's trying to learn from you. "... strong flavored, gamey meat that's closer to red meat than chicken..."

"What are the two of you talking about?" Areum calls you out, startling and interrupting you in the midst of your explanation. "Ducks." Jungkook responds quickly, arm resting behind you in your seat. "Chef did a great job on this dish." He compliments, dipping his head momentarily toward the chef who stands in the corner of the room, a proud grin on his face as he reciprocates the action. "She was just explaining to me potentially how he prepared the dish and possibly why he did those things. Admirable, really, there's a thoughtful reasoning for each step that you don't even realize."

"That's... kinda boring," She says, not an ounce of care in the unfiltered comment. "Not sure what kind of successful career you can have with that kind of skill."

"She's going to be working with the Jeon Corp in development of our new high-end restaurant chain." Junghwan interjects, just before Mr. Jeon attempts to, and Jungkook takes note how quickly both his father and brother are at your aid to defend you. "Child prodigy, so we're taking advantage of her while she's dating Jungkook. So... don't fuck up, alright, kid?" He jokes, a playful grin upon his lips.

"Trying not to!" Jungkook adds on as Areum clenches her jaw.

When the maids and servers clear out the table in front of you, Mr. Jeon excuses himself, along with Jongseok and Jungsik who are still quite bitter at the revelations from the banquet. They're of attendance to their family dinners as requested, of course, since they probably know that if they didn't come, they'd be cut off from the family money.

Junghwan calls for you as you stand from your seat, head jerking in his direction. "Yes?"

"Since I have you here and father is out, would you mind stepping into his office with me so we can talk briefly about some plans I have?"

Taking a gander at Jungkook, he merely nods in approval as he guides you toward Junghwan with a hand on your lower back. "I can stay back and catch up with my mother and Hayoung. Take all the time you need." He doesn't mention Areum's name but you don't have to be told to know she's going to be there too.

"Uh, yeah, sure, Junghwan. We can talk."

The office is cold—windows that stretch from ceiling to floor that wrap around the entirety of the walls, possibly the reason why it's freezing in here. The room is carpeted in a deep shade of mahogany, walls painted to match. There's a huge swivel chair behind a dark-stained wooden desk and two chairs that are similar to the ones in the dining room used for guests. "Take a seat." He offers, hand gesturing one of the chairs. There’s enough books that crowd behind him that could provide education to those in need, but you won’t bring up such a sensitive topic.

After sitting down, it feels a bit awkward, especially since it's just you and Junghwan. Despite the many phone conversations you've had with him, the atmosphere remains cumbrous for you. Mostly because it’s easier to hide behind your devices, no faces in sight to sense any judgment other than the tones of his voice, causing you to feel anxious. After all, he is your supposed boyfriend’s eldest brother.

"If you're afraid of losing Jungkook to Areum—or if you're jealous, don't be."

It takes you a second to absorb his statement. "I'm sorry, what?"

Shuffling aside some of his father's paperwork, he's logging into an account on the desktop, eyes too occupied to meet yours. "I saw you looking at Areum earlier with daggers in your stare. If you think Areum is going to achieve in her attempts to steal Jungkook 'back,' don't be. He won't cave in."

"Why did you just use air quotes?" It’s your turn to question after the many phone-calls exchanged where Junghwan is the one asking for answers.

"Because... they never really dated." He says, leaning back his seat with his fingers laced together over his torso. "They were friends, possibly slept together at least once because well... Jungkook,” Junghwan emphasizes on his name and there needs no further explanation, “...but it didn't go anywhere outside of that. She comes over often because our mothers spent a lot of time together in their society club. Otherwise, she's been Jungkook's side-chick since... forever? But they never dated, if that's what you wanted to know, and he's never been interested in her in that way."

It's funny to hear this from Junghwan's perspective because you've grown used to seeing things from Jungkook's point of view. Junghwan was known as the big brother—the model sibling, the perfect sibling. He didn't speak much to his brothers and the closest one was Jonghyun, who barely even says anything. Yet, this conversation has you comprehending that Junghwan in fact does recognize Jungkook's patterns and his life choices, caring enough to get involved by watching from afar.

Jungkook would be soaring to know that his favorite brother even bothered to learn about his love life.

"How do you know this?" You query. He shrugs, leaning over onto the desk with his forearms rested on the aged wood. "Hayoung? She manages to frequently get tangled in Jungkook's life affairs, often giving me updates on them. Jonghyun and I are close, in the business aspect, and I respect him a lot. Jungsik and Jongseok had always been losses for me, but something about Jungkook... reminds me of both myself and Jonghyun. Sure, we didn't exactly make the same choices, but his heart is made of gold and he's a genuine guy. But we all take different routes and everyone takes a different amount of time to get to where they belong."

"He thinks you don't like him, you know. He figures that you have the same mentality about him just as your other brothers do."

"Don't get me wrong, Jungkook fucks up a lot. Like... a lot a lot. So, yeah, I may have had a few outbursts and tagged along with my brothers on a couple things but that's the thing. They're my brothers, so of course I'm going to get mad at them." There's a moment of silence before he's searching through something on his computer before speaking up again. "But since you came, it seems that he's quickened his pace at improvement. Nonetheless, that's why you're in Jeon Corp now."

Chewing on your bottom lip, he eyes your actions carefully. "Speaking of... What's with the deposits going into my account lately? Jungkook said it wasn't him."

"To compensate you for your work, obviously."

"My work?"

He nods. "You've been answering a ton of my questions in preparation of opening the chain. You've been consulting me, practically, so I'm paying you what I would've paid a consulting company." You scoff. "It was a casual conversation, Junghwan. I didn't think you were going to pay me for it."

"You deserve it, trust me. I don't think you understand how many times you've saved me throughout this process—I had probably 18 consultants try to scam me out for things and chefs who had no idea what was happening. You did a great job taking out those fires, and I'm only grateful."

“It wasn’t... that informative, was it?”

Junghwan laughs, something that you’ve rarely seen at the family dinners, and it’s amazing how similar it sounds to Jungkook. They really are brothers. It’s melodic, like a music box, and it’s sweet to think that Jungkook admires a man who is so much like himself. “It really was. Be a little more confident in yourself, will you? I’m investing in you, not to mention using your name around here, so I need to seem somewhat knowledgeable in this industry!”

"Areum," Mrs. Jeon says, grabbing her miniature cup after Hayoung pours her some tea, all from a porcelain tea set with delicate blue and pink floral patterns and a gold trim. "What brings you back? You were gone so long, I expressed to your mother how much we missed your company down at the Society." Mrs. Jeon was classy and elegant, participating in clubs and organizations that taught many young women basic etiquette, Areum being one of them. 

Areum waves her hand in front of her, flattered that Mrs. Jeon had her in her thoughts. "Oh, you know. Jungkook wasn't in for something serious so I figured I'd venture out in the world before he settles down and decides that we could finally be together!"

Mrs. Jeon watches Jungkook's expression, apologetic for even asking. She previously had loved the idea of Jungkook ending up with Areum, but after all that you’ve done to help change Jungkook into a better version of himself, Mrs. Jeon only sees you for him. "Jungkook seems pretty content with his current relationship though, love."

"That's just temporary, Mrs. Jeon. I'm in it for the long run—" 

"Areum, I have a girlfriend. You can't just come in here saying things like that, it makes people uncomfortable. In fact, it’s disrespectful trying to home-wreck a relationship." Jungkook interrupts, frustrated with his so-called childhood friend. "And... I'm in it for the long run, if you haven’t noticed. There's no room for anyone else to try to squeeze their way in."

She doesn't do anything but brushes off his replies. "That's what you think, Kookie. Just how you thought you were insecure about your capabilities and here you are! I supported you, through thick and thin. Did she ever do that for you?"

"Well... yeah, if anything, she taught me how to be more independent. I didn't even know how to wash the dishes or take the bus until I met her."

"See? I would never make you do those things. I'd do them for you. What kind of girlfriend is she if she's making you do all those things for her?" Jungkook is stressed just talking to Areum, fingers raking through his lengthened locks. "And she made you grow out your hair too? Kookie... I missed your short look."

"I chose to do my hair like this!" He exclaims, standing from the couch. "She also taught me all those things because I couldn't do it for myself. Areum, I'm spoiled here. I can't keep depending on people to do things for me."

Jungkook doesn’t falter in his actions when his mother says his name, grabbing his coat off the back of the sofa. "I—I'm stepping out.” He stammers, “Sorry, mom and Hayoung, I just can't be around her. I'll be stopping by father's office before seeing out."

Just in time, you're walking out of the double wooden doors beside Junghwan, looking up from your phone when you hear the patting of his footsteps approaching the two of you. "Oh, Jungkook."

"Ready to head out?" You blink, glancing at his family and Areum seated in one of the smaller living rooms, trays of pastries scattered with tea. "Uh, yeah. You don't want to stay?"

"No. I'm good." With that, he doesn't even take a second look at Areum before he has an arm wrapped around you, guiding you off the estate.

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

Snuggled underneath the throw blanket on your couch with only your head and hand with the controller peeking out like a burrito, Jungkook is seated beside you, feeling a bit uneasy about the events that occurred the day Areum invited herself into both his apartment and family home. "No."

His shoulders drop. "That was a really short response. I think you're mad."

"I'm not. You can't help that you were with her and it ended up like this. What'd you do that got her so hooked onto you? Did you sleep with her?"

Jungkook is silent.

"Great, that answers my question."

"Baby," He sighs, wrapping his arm around your laying frame. Nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck from behind, he hums against the warmth of your skin. It feels so good being in his arms; back pressed against his chest with his breath fanning over the flesh of your neck. “I can’t erase the things I’ve done in the past, especially the things I did before I met you. But that’s just it, it was before I met you.” 

“Mmmmhm,” You hum, attempting to ignore him as you browse through the title options with your new Hulu subscription. “Sure.”

Gradually, you notice Jungkook’s hips moving slowly, forward and backward, his body curving to yours with a hand on your waist to hold you down. His breath quickens, frame in contact, radiating heat as he grinds into you. With his lips ghosting over your ear, he moans softly. “Plus, how could I even think about any other girl when you’re taking up so much space in my head?”

“Jeon,” You warn, hand on top of his own to halt his movements. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Remember how you used to talk about how I would just be one and done girls?” It’s a rhetorical question; you know this because he doesn’t wait for an answer from you. “You’re right, that’s how I normally feel. But something about you has me coming back for more and more, and I can’t think about anyone else.”

“That sounds like some movie shit.”

“Unfortunately, that ‘movie shit’ you’re talking about is real to me. You think that I’m not attracted to you, but I am. Not just looks but everything. You never believe me when I say those things and I wish you could see from my perspective.”

Turning to lay flat on the couch, Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to drape his arm over your torso. “I trust you. I know you’re somewhat not lying about your feelings for me, but you know how it is...”

“I don’t.” He counters but there’s a smile that tugs on his lips.

Another thing that you learned about Jungkook in comparison to your ex—he’s a sucker for your love. 

Jungkook isn’t one to hold back when it comes to expressing how he feels about you. It’s intriguing how to you, he expresses too much, or well, too much for your liking since you’re not the best at reciprocating those words. But Jungkook is excessively charming, every interaction with him has left you feeling like you’re on cloud nine. He has continuously reminded you of the things you’ve taught him, how they provide so much value in the present period of his life yet you don’t think he understands how much he’s given you in return.

Selfishness. He says that term routinely in the best way possible until it’s ingrained into your head and into your memories. Jungkook reiterates how he believes that you should be a little selfish in the actions you make and stop considering those who probably wouldn’t give you the time of day. 

And it’s a constant reminder that he is the only person looking out for you in this way.

“Here.”

Hoseok stares at the white letter envelope that you’re offering to him in your hand, glancing at you then the mysterious letter again. “The fuck you giving me that for?”

“Hoseok, just grab it.” Snatching it from your hand, he eyes you skeptically. “Why are you being so weird? What’s thi—” When he pulls the piece of paper out, he realizes what it is.

A check.

“Dude, what is this for?” He shoves the check back into the envelope, handing it off to you again but you step back. “It’s a check. Do you know what a check is? You can deposit into your bank account. It’s like money but—“

“Idiot,” He insults, shaking his head. “I know what a check is. But why are you giving this to me?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you stuff your hands into the pocket of your apron. “Hoseok, you’ve been there for me for a while. Let me stay on your couch when I didn’t have anywhere to go, you fed me when I’ve given every cent of my paycheck to my parents—you helped me. The least I could do is pay you back.”

“I don’t need you to pay me back, I’m happy to help out a friend. Don’t give me this.”

“Hoseok,” You groan, frustrated with his denial. “Please just take it. I really want you to move out, chase your dreams, and be this crazy music guy that I will eventually see on my little ass TV screen and scream, ‘hey! he’s the friend that let me sleep on his couch and eat all the food in his fridge!’”

He frowns in reciprocation. “Please don’t do this. Then I’d be the one owing you. Why are you giving this to me? What about your school debt and everything else?”

“Honestly... Junghwan has been paying me for my ‘consulting services’ and with how much income is coming in just from the Jeon Corp... I actually feel some stability here. I want to pay you back first, since you’re my best friend and because I can actually help you out of your rut. Please, Hoseok, take it.”

Eyes glassy, his chocolate orbs emits disquietness, guilty for taking the check from you but he folds it up and slides it into his pocket anyway. “I... I don’t know what to say but thank you,” He stammers, blinking excessively to rid his tears. “I think this might be enough for me to move out... and potentially start looking for labels to consider me.”

“That’s what I’m hoping you’d do with the money. I have no control on what you do with it but... I really wish you’d use it to make your dreams come true. If mine are slowly happening, I’d love to play a part in making yours happen too.”

“I will always offer you my couch if it results in a paycheck that causes my eyes to bulge out of its pockets.” He jokes, but the smile that spans across his face spills only appreciation for you. “Honestly though. This means a lot to me. I can’t believe I can actually start start making much!” He cheers, doing some little stupid dance that you have to tear your eyes away from.

“Please stop or else you’ll make me go blind!”

As it turns out, Jungsik did not cancel his wedding with Kim Nari, better known as the daughter of one of the biggest tech moguls in South Korea.

She’s very close to Areum, and you hate that you know this information, but it can’t be helped that Siri probably overhears your conversations and recommends you to read on Kim Nari & Kim Areum, Best Friends or Long-Lost Sisters article. Not going to lie, but you did read it, for the sake of entertainment and it oddly provided more information than you ever asked for.

Mr. & Mrs. Jeon were not happy. For one, their policy on their children getting married for love still stands, in spite of their strict upbringing in the household, their beliefs stood tall when it came to business being held separate from personal life. But Jungsik was adamant during the last family dinner, stating something along the lines that it wasn’t for money and he truly loves Kim Nari.

You don’t know Jungsik, but you had your doubts when he said that.

Nonetheless, the Jeons were in attendance, including yourself, as Jungkook’s date, of course. Jungsik had been able to convince you to help in preparation, responsible for order in the kitchen. Needless to say, you were there way in advance and the fact that you were able to leave the staff to actually start attending a guest was a surprise. You were merely there to just oversee the production, not actually participate in it. “You’re still a guest, not a worker,” Jungsik reminded you for the 80th time when you arrived. 

You let Jungkook off to greet the wealthy families into the venue as paparazzi and news outlets line behind the red belted rope barriers, snapping photos and hollering questions to all the guests. There had been blockades that surround the perimeter of each room, specifically for any tabloid attendees that wanted to snap a photo of the event. It felt like some important figure was getting married, not heirs.

Jungkook is stunning, somehow even more than he usually is, but ever since he decided he wanted to shave the sides of his head, it gives him that bad boy-esque look and honestly, you’re here for it. His suit fits him perfectly—following every curve of his body, his arms filling in all the room in the sleeves that nearly has you drooling out your mouth and nose bleeding at the sight of him. His thighs— oh god, you don’t even want to get started on those thighs. It brings you back to the night where you two first went all the way and—

There’s a mischievous smirk that stretches across his face as if he knows what you’re thinking, catching your gaze (or we can just call it you checking him out) as he stands behind Junghwan and his wife, Hayoung. He sneaks in a cute wink that manages to make your heart flutter and stomach in knots. 

He’s annoying. But for some reason, you love it.

Jonghyun is also here, beside his wife who is very much not pregnant anymore, but rather holding that baby girl in her arms that once resided in her belly, rocking her and shielding her face from the blinding lights. Jongseok lazily stands beside Jungkook, a façade made up of a forced grin on his face because he definitely would rather be on a yacht, surrounded by hotties with a shit-ton of alcohol in his system. Seems like the open bar is going to have to do for now. It’s crazy to see how amazingly put together the Jeons are seen in public and how broken they are behind doors. It goes to show that everything is not what it seems.

When they’re all ready to enter in, Jungkook comes up to you, arm bent in offering for you to loop your own through. “Ready to go, my beautiful lovely date slash girlfriend?”

“Sure.” You agree, a light laugh escaping your lips when you latch on, tugging the front of your dress up to help match the speed of his pace. 

You won’t take his offer to pay for your dress nor hire someone to do your hair and makeup or even spend the day before at a spa in preparation for Jungsik’s wedding but he won’t deny that you still look gorgeous without any professional help. He has seen his mother go through those transformations with the help of a beauty team, their work making her flawless (not that she wasn’t beautiful before), but after seeing you tonight, he learns that you don’t even need it.

Well, he knew that before but he just wanted to spoil you with his newly obtained black card.

“You look great tonight, baby,” He says, leaning in close enough for you to hear. “Kinda wanna have you bent over the counter of the bathroom, pull up that dress, push your panties aside and—“

“Jungkook!” You hiss. He smirks before batting his lashes innocently at you. “But really though, you look great.”

Truthfully, you do. Instead of splurging your boyfriend’s money on the spa, you decided to get yourself a bath bomb, live your night lavishly with a glass of wine paired with a face mask. It goes as planned because your skin is buttery smooth, letting the products you apply to glide seamlessly, composing a lovely make-up look for the night. It wasn’t just the make-up you were proud of either; you established that if you were going to a big public event as Jungkook’s girlfriend, it doesn’t hurt to invest in a new dress... right? Or were you sounding too much like pre-middle class Jungkook?

Either way, when he pulled up to your house with Hyungjin, both males’ jaws slack to the floor with drool spilling from the sides. Jungkook promises that he means it when he says that you’re the most enchanting woman he’s ever met but you still think he’s lying. He also thought he knew how much he loved seeing you in a black dress, but this silky pine-needle green one proves him wrong. 

It’s floor length, with the help of your black stilettos, and the slit down the leg makes it easy to maneuver through the crowd while attached to Jungkook. That is, until Areum swoops in and somehow manages to steal him from your grasp. “I can borrow Kookie for the cameras, right? You don’t mind? You probably have kitchen duties to be at anyways.” She tilts her head to the side, as if she’s waiting for a response before adding on. “There’s an uneven amount of bridesmaids and grooms so... I’m borrowing one of the brothers, only because it seems right.” Yeah, right. You mentally scoff.

As much as you want to say no, the photographers that follow Areum in suits makes you reconsider. The Jeons care about their reputation, as much as you don’t care about yours, and out of respect, you step back. Otherwise, you probably would’ve socked this bitch—“Uh, give me a call, then, I guess, when you’re done, Jeon.”

Before he can stop you, she’s already dragging him to the next culprit who has to take her pictures.

Hayoung is breathtakingly gorgeous in her signature white dress that hugs her body so nicely, like an image from a 1980s magazine with her lips painted scarlet red. She approaches you, borderline strutting like she’s at New York fashion week, arm linked with Junghwan’s, just as yours were with Jungkook momentarily. When she calls for your name, it’s like honey for your ears, sweet on the tongue. “Oh, baby. Where’s Kookie?”

“Uh, with Areum.” You respond, gesturing in the direction where she had Jungkook tightened in her grip. Hayoung follows with her gaze, frowning before glancing at Junghwan. “Accompany her? I’ll talk to Areum.”

Offering his arm up for you, you concede, gently in his hold. Strange, being in Junghwan’s presence in almost a similar way as you were with Jungkook, and it’s just a reminder how much you’d rather be doing this with him. “I’m assuming your night has already gone down the drain with Areum here?”

“Can’t really tell her no,” you shrug, sighing afterwards. “I’d feel bad calling her out on her bullshit when your family is in the public eye. Imagine what the tabloids are going to write when they see that I’m supposedly Jungkook’s new arm candy and I’ve already caused issues for the bound to be couple.”

“Bound to be couple?” He reiterates questioningly, a perplexed expression on his face.

“Kim Areum and Jeon Jungkook, of course. Who else?”

Junghwan blinks blankly. “You and Jungkook, of course.”

You roll your eyes, turning to watch the said-couple pose for pictures as Hayoung quickly makes her way in, whispering something in Areum’s ear who only pouts and whines afterwards. “It’s my best friend’s wedding. Isn’t it my right to show off my date?” Your previous speculation that they were friends seem to disappear from the way she hisses at Hayoung’s suggestion.

“I know it bothers you that Areum acts so shamelessly.” Junghwan begins, the two of you face the scene unfolding. “But aren’t you one to not care about reputation? I’m sure you didn’t even know entirely who we were. I bet you didn’t even know Jungkook had four brothers. Did you even know what the Jeon Corp did?”

“I knew Jungsik existed,” You point out. “But... I also googled him when he came to the market that one day... and I know what your company does... after I started working at the Jeon Market, I read the wrong wikipedia page. It ended up being Jeon Corp, not Market.” Grinning innocently at him, he shakes his head.

Junghwan doesn’t even get a chance to respond when the two of you catch Areum clutching onto Jungkook’s blazer, a leg up in the air in her too-short of a carmine red maid of honor dress at a family function, coercing him into a kiss.

You swallow. 

“Uh, let’s um, take you somewhere else,” Junghwan retorts rapidly, hand sliding down to your wrist until he spots Jongseok, middle of eating an hors d'oeuvre. “Seok!”

“What?” Jongseok snaps, annoyed that his eldest sibling is asking for him in the midst of enjoying a treat. “What could you possibly want when we’re at a wedding? I thought business and personal should be sep—“

“Take her to the open bar, grab something to drink, the two of you.” Junghwan interrupts, and Jongseok doesn’t question the request, especially when it includes alcohol. “I mean, it’s fine. I can go to the kitchen and make sure the team is in order. Don’t worry about me, Junghwan. And uh... enjoy yourself, Jongseok.” Waving the Jeon brothers off, Junghwan watches you with a remorseful gaze and you go through the double doors into the kitchen.

“Jungkook,” Junghwan tugs his younger brother aside nearly seconds after the stunt that Areum pulled, scowling at the thought. “You realize the woman you claimed to be the love of your life just witnessed you kiss someone else?”

Flustered, Jungkook’s cheeks are tinted red, tips of his ears matching the crimson shade. If he took off his blazer at this very moment, you’d be able to tell that he’s sweating profusely. “I-I-Did she?” He sputters, loosening the top of his tie, fingers fiddling with the top bottoms to rid the heat off his body. “Fuck, does she think I’m the dick that she predicted? Fuck, fuck fuck, what do I do?” He prayed moments after the incident that you didn’t see but Jungkook would be lying to everyone if he said that the entire venue saw them kiss.

“It’d be a good idea if you talk to her,” Junghwan suggests, his grimace twisting into an apologetic gaze. “She doesn’t seem upset or anything, just... disappointed, maybe?”

Jungkook frowns. “That’s the worst. I told her that if she’s mad, she should just be mad, and already she’s ignoring what I said because I’m the one who caused it. Fuck,” He curses again, afflicted. “How am I ever supposed to make this up? What if she doesn’t want to see me again after that? I barely got her to even consider me to be more than a friend and— shit— where the hell did Areum come from? She was gone for years and now she decides to make an appearance? What was the point of this entire thing? Why was she even at our family dinner, and how did she know about it? What does she want from me?”

“Money?” Junghwan answers, scratching the back of his head. “Either way, it doesn’t matter. If you want to talk... she’s in the kitchen. I tried to get her to hang out with Jongseok for a bit but... she declined and said something about making sure dinner goes as planned.”

“Thanks, Junghwan,” Jungkook sighs, fingers raking his hair. Lips yanking in between his teeth, he’s on the verge of tears at himself, replaying the scene in his head where he tells you that he’s going to take care of you and be the person who doesn’t end up hurting you.

You don’t hear the footsteps behind you when you’re peeking over one of the line chef’s shoulders, pointing out a couple things as the tall male nods, abiding by instruction. “I heard somewhere that if you try it while twisting your wrist...”

Seeing you in the kitchen, one hand holding up the skirt of your dress while the other hand is occupied by taking the spatula from the chef to demonstrate the actions you’re trying to explain swells Jungkook’s heart. Seconds before, you observed your boyfriend get kissed in public, all for the tabloids to see, by someone that wasn’t you and you still have the courage to walk around here and guide an entire team.

If that doesn’t scream you, he doesn’t know what else does.

The fact that you’re nudging the chef away, dropping the end of your dress in process without a care it getting dirty, focused more on trying to create some mixture that Jungkook can’t identify has him hollering at himself inside. Dolled up and in your element, it’s yet again another indication how he can’t fuck up but he already has.

“Baby,” Jungkook says, voice soft and wavering from the confidence that he had once pompously strode to you in. It’s far from assurance; he’s not even sure the reaction you’ll give him, especially with your back faced him.

“Uh, Chef Moon, you got the gist. Would you mind taking it from here?” Trading bows, you turn on the balls of your feet to meet the culprit, eyes that had once filled with love now replaced with disgrace. 

“Jeon.” You acknowledge him, which is a first step, but the last name that spits out of your lips is implying your chagrin. You’re not completely avoiding him, and he’s thankful for this, but no early celebrations yet. Not when something that occurred pretty much brought him back to phase one in trying to win you over. “I-I’m sorry,” He rapidly speaks, tripping on his own words. “I don’t know what she thought she was doing, but it wasn’t right, it was wrong, and I can’t believe that it happened—”

“It’s fine.” You respond and much as you’re trying to hide your anger, the words spill through your gritted teeth, proving to be arduous. “After the last course, I’ll be getting an Uber home. I don’t think I should be around for long—“

“Don’t go.” Jungkook barrages, hoping to stop this situation before it could even get more dreadful. “Stay. Please, I don’t want everything that we just overcame to be completely wiped out because of some stupid decision that Areum made.”

Palm pressed against Jungkook’s chest, you push him as he steps backwards with you cautiously checking your surroundings. Relief washes over you when you’re in a corner with him where no one can see. “Stop causing a scene. I can’t pay off these people to not talk about what’s happening here. I don’t need gossip about me spreading through the industry when I’m still making my way around.”

“I’m sorry,” He says for the umpteenth time. 

“Listen, Jeon,” You begin, pulling your hair aside. “Areum is great. She’s pretty, kind, supportive... smart?” Ending that off questioningly, you shake your head and continue on. “Either way, she comes from the same world as you. She’s wealthy, understands that etiquette nonsense your mom talks about all the time, and well... she just gets you. Areum is relatable because not only does she live the same lifestyle, she lived it in her childhood, growing up with you. Imagine how great it sounds, your name beside hers in the media, how these kids who liked each other while growing up found their way back to each other. How am I supposed to get in the way of that?”

It’s evident that Jungkook is holding back a sea of tears building up inside of him because he doesn’t want to ruin your reputation, ironically. 

“You keep talking about these worlds, but I only know one and you’re in it. Stop comparing how we live—we’ve been through this already, we’ve had all these discussions. When are we going to stop going back to this topic?”

“Never.” You say sharply. “It’s always going to circle back. Girls like Areum will come, sweep you off your feet and make you feel like the man again. I can’t do that for you, Jungkook, I don’t have the ability too.” Even when you say his actual name it’s a pang in his chest. “She kissed you. Fine, I get it. You had no control over it because she forced yourself onto you. But before that, seeing her stand by you, arms linked with smiles on your faces... I realize that I’m faking it out here if I’m going to pretend constantly that I’m OK with all of this. Jungkook, I work in your mother’s supermarket. I’m just a worker. I also don’t only work at her supermarket but I also work in her coffee shop. I’m not a shift supervisor, I’m not a manager, hell, I don’t do anything and I’m just an employee. You... you’re Jeon Jungkook. Rich, famous, handsome... and now, you’re the CEO of the Jeon Markets & Café. Me? I’m still the same. Less than half a year, you were able to achieve so much and improve yourself for the better. And then there’s me... still in the same spot you first met me in. You can’t be with someone like that.”

“You’re way more than that, you’re just feeling insecure and don’t see what I see.” He can’t believe that this is happening to him at his own brother’s wedding. “Don’t do this. Don’t act out—you said it yourself, it was out of my control. We’re happy together, isn’t that what you want? To be happy?”

Of course. There’s no denying how much brighter your days seem with Jungkook by your side. “I-I... yeah, it was out of your control. But who is to say that this will never happen again? Jungkook, Areum is going to keep interfering with us, whether you like it or not.” You pause, taking in a deep breath. “And... of course I’m happy with you. That goes without saying. But I’m already tired from this one occurrence... what does that mean after this? What if this happens again?”

“Baby,” He sighs, wrapping his arms around your frame. You know that your head is telling you to pull away, but your heart demands you to hold on. Jungkook rests his forehead against yours, eyes hooded. “Stop talking about all this crazy stuff, how there’s different worlds where we can’t be together. It’s mumble jumble, things that people say when they’re scared, and I know you’re afraid but what relationship isn’t some type of risk? You’re giving up your whole for someone. That’s what I’m doing—I’m giving you my whole. I’ll fix the whole Areum situation, I’m happy with you, let’s make this work. Please?”

Was it fair to yourself to let you continue this thing with Jungkook? He mentioned a word before that has become a jargon in your dictionary, selfishness, and it has you thinking in the moment.

Should you be selfish and decide that you don’t want Jungkook because you want to preserve your feelings? Or should you be selfish and let him mend this mess so you could be together?

[abbatoirablaze]

5 Alphas--Autumn

Just a little drabble on how Autumn had followed the boys around before they were really aware of it. Can be read separately from the Fated story as its own one shot or with it. Not integral to the story.

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: mentions of shifter dynamics, pining after someone, stalking, slight angst.

The first time you saw him in the forest alone, you knew. You knew that you loved him. Regardless of the accident when he was feral and had killed Ari’s mother. Regardless of how his other brothers seemed to shun him. Regardless of the fact that he seemed to hate himself.

You knew that you loved the sad bear the very first day you saw him, when you were twelve years old. Granted, he was eighteen, and it’d been a long time since any of those incidents, but Joseph had told you of them without shame when you’d asked.

“That’s Curtis,” he said simply, when you had described the large alpha who could shift into a bear at will, “he’s my middle son.”

“Well tell me about him,” you asked softly as you leaned against the wood pile while he split the wood for the winter, “what is he like?”

“I think it’s best you find out for yourself so that you can find out what my sons are like and form your own opinions.”

You were saddened to figure out that Joseph wasn’t going to answer you. But you were even sadder when you had learned about the others. None of them were like him. Curtis was your one and only…a one and a million man.

Ari, a selkie who had a cabin a little further down from Joseph, around the bend of the lake, was twenty-one when you first saw him. You had figured that if you were going to learn about the brothers, you were going to start at the beginning. By doing so, you had found the lonely, mild-mannered selkie had taken over the parental role of his younger brother Jake, a sweet, but awkward alpha wolf who got more rejections than a solicitor.

And while there was nothing wrong in particular with the eldest of Joseph’s sons, you didn’t particular care for the fact that he was so compassionate towards everyone except for Curtis. And the younger brother, well, he was a few fries short of a happy meal. With every rejection he seemed to get desperate, needier, and it wasn’t long before even you could smell the desperation in his scent, and the rage behind his eyes.

Finding Stevie was a little bit harder.

You had to shift to make it look like you were around their age as you spotted him sitting at a bar-stool. You could tell from his scent that he was about to go into a rut. And he had a long line of women that appeared to want to be his rut kitten. But when you followed back to his place, it always sounded like there was an argument going on, and before the night was out, you would see Stevie sadly chasing the girl to the door, begging her to stay.

It made you feel even worse for the youngest, a dragon shifter by the name of Johnny. He was thirteen and newly presented as an alpha. Stevie had taken guardianship of him a few years ago around the same time Ari had taken Jake, and Stevie was smart to keep the young, perverted teen on suppressants.

And then there was Curtis. Your sweet, sad bear, who had built his own cabin deep in the heart of the mountain, close enough to a cave he liked to go to when he needed to get away from it all as a teenager.

“Hear about how the kid let two of his brothers move in with him?”

Your head shot up as you listened in to the other lumberjacks talking about Curtis. The second man shook his head, “somethin’ bout their place burning down. His oldest brother and one of the younger ones…he hasn’t been getting much sleep though…been slowin down on the job too. Jack’s gonna kick his ass if he doesn’t get into gear.”

You were quick to jump around to some of the other trees. You hadn’t particularly spent any time following Curtis the past few days, but you did know about the fire at Ari’s place. You didn’t know that Curtis had let them move in though.

You sighed when you found your sweet bear. He was sitting, more like leaning back against one of the trees, his hat covering his eyes, as a light snore drifted past his lips. You sighed, daring to bring yourself closer to him.

Coming down from your tree, you made sure that no one else was near. Taking a few steps, you brought your head down to see below the visor of his hat. He was exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes saddened you.

“Oh, Curtis.” you whispered sadly, feeling brave enough to stroke his cheek. He was warm and soft. Softer than you thought he’d be. The twenty year old was taking advantage of his lunch break, and instead of eating what was in his lunchbox, he’d fallen asleep with his sandwich falling out of his hand. Your hand stroked lower, the prickly beard scratchy against your soft, small hands. But just as you leaned in, curious about how his lips would feel, he shifted in his sleep.

Your eyes went wide as you bolted back into the trees. His cap fell from it’s precarious position as you moved deeper against the trunk of the tree, blending in with it. You stifled your laughter as his sandwich fell to the ground and he looked around wildly.

And you watched with sad eyes as he disappeared, going back towards the rest of the lumberjacks.

“He’s pretty,” a sweet voice from beside you said. You looked to see Rain, still wet from her swim in the river about a mile away. You frowned at her, “he’s taller than the rest of them.”

“He’s mine, Rain,” you warned her softly, “don’t even think about it.”

“Okay, ”she replied peppier than normal, “I won’t touch him if you come with me. Joseph wanted to see you today.”

You gave the lumberjack yard one more wistful look, wishing you could sit in the trees and watch him all day. But if Rain was willing to let you have him, you’d be willing to deal with Joseph for a little while, “fine.”

She smiled as the two of you climbed down from the trees, heading off towards the cabin. And then you noticed an ugly red burn along the inside of her wrist. She noticed you staring, “staring is rude.”

“What is it?”

“Joseph told me it’s a gift,” she replied happily, “and if you’re good, maybe you’ll get one too.”

“I don’t want one…”

“Oh well.”

[gossipgirliess]

Started With Jealousy

Pairing: Eli Goldsworthy x Fem!Reader

Characters: Eli Goldsworthy, Y/N L/N, Clare Edwards, Jake Martin, Fiona Coyne, Holly J Sinclair, Imogen Moreno, other students

Requested? Yes! This is my first request! Thank you for the idea, I haven’t been having any luck with coming up with ideas for imagines. This was requested by @fairyth0rns​ Thank you again for requesting this! I love writing for Degrassi so please request more stuff!

Summary: Clare is still hung up on Eli, even though she’s dating Jake. Y/N, Eli’s best friend, is jealous of the Edwards girl. While Eli is in the middle of a manic episode, he insults Y/N, leaving her hurt. Will Eli be able to get her to forgive him? Will he still have a chance with her? Read to find out!

Word Count: ? Sorry that it’s a little long, also sorry if there are any typos.

Warnings:  A couple curse words? Angst

Every night she found herself thinking “Why aren’t I good enough for him?”

You see, Y/N had feelings for someone. Someone who was her best friend. Someone who didn’t see her like that. That someone was Eli Goldsworthy.

“So anyway, she was totally being-Y/N? Hello? Y/N? Y/N/N?!”

“What, what?! Oh, my God, what?!”

“Did you hear a single word I said?” Fiona asked before Y/N sighed.

“No, sorry.” 

The two were at Y/N’s house, in her kitchen studying, while also eating take out. Holly J was supposed to be there as well, but she had a lot of homework to do.

“What’s wrong?” Fiona asked as she closed her text book.

“Nothing. It’s just-I just have a lot on my mind right now.” Y/N said as she closed her text book, as well.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m just so confused.”

Fiona’s eyebrows furrowed.

“About what?”

“Lots of things. School, feelings, life. Also-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Go back to feelings. Are you confused with your feelings for someone?” Fiona asked as she sat up.

“Yes, maybe, I don’t know. I think I like Eli.” Y/N said before Fiona’s eyes widended.

“You do?!”

“Yeah, I really do.”

The girls both squealed.

“Oh, my gosh! I knew it! Well, what’s stopping you?” Fiona asked before Y/N sighed.

“Clare.”

Eli and Clare dated, but Clare broke up with him. She soon began to date Jake, even though she wasn’t fully over Eli. Y/N was pretty positive that Eli wanted Clare back. But what she didn’t know was that Eli was trying to hide his feelings for her by thinking of ways to win Clare back.

“What’s Clare gonna do? She’s with Jake, remember?” Fiona said before Y/N nodded.

“I know. I’m just scared. If I tell him that I like him and he dosen’t like me back, that could ruin our friendship. It could make things awkward between us for the rest of our lives! And on top of that, I probably don’t stand a chance and he’s going to go back to Clare. And every time I look at Clare I think, ‘Why am I not good enough, but she is?’ ‘Why doesn’t he look at me the way he looks at her?’” Y/N said as she looked at Fiona.

“Oh, I see, you’re jealous.” Fiona said before Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Jealous? Y-yeah, okay, Fiona.”

“I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your tone! You’re jealous of Clare, Y/N!’ Fiona said before Y/N sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

“Okay, fine, yes! I’m jealous. But, it dosen’t matter. I’ll never be her.” Y/N said before Fiona sighed and hugged her.

***

The next day Y/N was at her locker.

“Y/N!”

She turned around and saw Eli walking towards her.

“Oh, hey, Eli.”

“Hey. So, you’re still coming to my play, right?” Eli asked before Y/N nodded.

“Yep, I wouldn’t miss it.” Y/N said before Eli smiled.

“Cool. Great I-I just wanted to make sure you were still coming.” Eli said before Y/N smiled.

“Well, I am.”

“Hey, guys.” Fiona said as she walked over.

“Hi.”

“See you guys around. Bye, Y/N/N.” Eli said before he walked away.

“Bye.”

“Did you see that?!” Fiona asked before Y/N closed her locker.

“See what?” Y/N asked as the two started to walk down the hallway.

“He said bye to you directly.” Fiona said as she linked her arm with Y/N‘s

“That dosen’t mean anything.” Y/N said as she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say.” Fiona said as Y/N shook her head and smiled.

***

The play was starting in less than ten minutes and Imogen was no where to be found.

Eli was sitting at a vanity backstage.

“Did you find her?” Eli asked as Y/N walked over to him.

“Nope. No one’s seen her. We’ve looked everywhere. She’s not even answering her phone. How are you doing?” Y/N asked as she stood behind him.

“Not that great, considering I don’t have a leading lady.” Eli said before Y/N lightly chuckled.

“It’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“True. But, I believe you’ll be able to pull it off.” Y/N said before Eli sighed and stood up.

“How can you be so sure?! I don’t have a leading lady! This play is turing into a disaster!” Eli exclaimed as Y/N slightly flinched.

“It’s okay. Eli, just calm down-“

“It’s not that easy, okay?! God, Y/N, you just don’t get it! You’re so annoying! I sometimes can’t believe I’m even friends with you! You’re an awful friend!” Eli yelled before Y/N’s face fell.

“Oh. Well, if that’s how you feel.” Y/N said before she started to walk away.

“Y/N-wait! Y/N! Damn it!” Eli said before he kicked a chair.

“Care to explain why we just saw Y/N run out crying?” Fiona asked after she and Holly J walked over.

“She was crying?” Eli asked as he turned around.

“Yeah. She looked really hurt. What happened?” Holly J asked.

“I-I think I was having another episode and I went off on her.” Eli sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Why don’t you go try to find her and calm her down?” Fiona suggested before Holly J nodded and left.

“Sure.”

“Okay, it’s just you and me here. Wanna tell me what happened?” Fiona asked as she leaned against the vanity.

“She came back here to tell me nobody’s seen Imogen and was trying to tell me thay everything would be okay and that everything would work out. I guess I didn’t wanna hear it and I lashed out on her.” Eli said before Fiona sighed.

“Oh, no. What did you say?” Fiona asked.

“I-I told her she was annoying and a bad friend and-”

“And?”

“And that sometimes I can’t believe I’m even friends with her.” Eli said before Fiona gasped.

“Oh, my God! Eli, that’s terrible!” Fiona said as Eli sighed.

“I know, I know. I just-I think I messed up the best friendship I’ve ever had.”

“Y/N! Y/N! Wait!” Holly J said as she followed Y/N down the hall.

“What, Holly J?” Y/N asked as she turned around.

“Come here.” Holly J said as she opened her arms.

Y/N ran into her arms and cried into her shoulder.

Holly J whispered soft sayings into her ear and ran her hand through her hair.

She then lead her to a bench.

“Now, what exactly happend?” Holly J asked after the two sat down.

“Eli happened. He told me that he dosen’t even know why he’s friends with me.” Y/N said as she wiped her tears.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Holly J said as she held her hand.

“You didn’t see his face, Holly J. He looked pretty serious.” Y/N said as she laid her head on Holly J’s shoulder.

“Well, the play’s about to start, so what are you gonna do? The audience is packed.” Fiona said.

“I don’t have a leading lady.” Eli said before Fiona sighed.

“I’ll do it. I’ll play Clara. I know the lines.” Fiona said.

“You don’t know the new ending.” Eli said.

“If I have to read my script on stage, then so be it. Bottom line it says directed by Fiona Coyne in the program. And like I said before I will not be responsible for a bomb. So, are you with me or what?” Fiona asked.

“I’m with you.” Eli said before they heard the music.

“That’s the cue. Better get stage left for my big entrance. See you in the spotlight.” Fiona said before she walked away.

“Show time.”

***

Holly J managed to convince Y/N to watch the play and the two were sitting in the audience.

“Thanks for coming, I just-I hate the way we left things. The truth is, you should be with me, not uh-him. Um-I’m sorry. Uh, what?” Eli asked after he looked at Y/N.

“Um-Maybe we should go away from here.” Fiona said before Eli looked at her.

“No, th-that’s not how it goes. That’s my line, not your’s. You’re not following the script!” Eli said.

“You’re not exactly following the script either, Ari!” Fiona said before the audience laughed.

“It dosen’t matter, you’re not her.” Eli said before Fiona looked at him.

“Eli, come on, we’re almost done. Just stick to the script!” Fiona said softly.

“What script? There’s not script! You can’t write your life! No matter how much all of you want a happy ending, you can’t have it! I tried to write one, but it’s impossible. I rewrote and rewrote but things kept changing, and I hurt people, and I-I knew they were hurting, but I didn’t stop. Because your mind tricks you. It tricks you into thinking that things are fine. They’re not fine, nothing is fine! It’s all wrong!” Eli exclaimed after stood up and took the script from Fiona.

He looked at Y/N, who had tears in her eyes.

“I’m all wrong. That’s it. There’s no happy ending.” Eli said before he lit the script on fire and fell to the ground.

“Um.. Lights!” Fiona said before the lights turned off and being everyone started clapping.

The audience stood up and applauded before the cast bowed.

Eli had tears in his eyes and looked at Y/N, who had tears in her eyes, as well.

As soon as everyone started going backstage, Y/N ran out in tears, with Fiona and Holly J following.

“I got it.” Fiona said as Holly J nodded.

“Okay.”

“Y/N! Y/N/N! Y/N! Wait!” Fiona said as she ran after her best friend.

“Leave me alone, Fiona.”

“No, stop, wait! Y/N?” Fiona said soflty after she turned Y/N around.

“What?”

“Look, he didn’t mean-”

“You weren’t there, Fiona. You didn’t hear him, you didn’t see his face.” Y/N said as she wiped her tears.

“How about we just crash at my place and forget about this whole nightmare?” Fiona asked before Y/N nodded.

“I guess that would be okay.” Y/N said before Fiona smiled and put her arm around her.

“Good.”

***

For the past few days, Eli had been doing everything he could to get Y/N to forgive him.

He tried calling her, texting, he even went to her house.

But, she contiuned to ignore him. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever talk to him again.

“Fiona, hey!” Eli said as he followed Fiona down the hallway.

“Oh, uh, hi, Eli.” Fiona said after she turned around.

“Do you know when Y/N’s gonna forgive me.” Eli asked before Fiona shrugged.

“To be honest, I’m not sure if she will. What you said really hurt her, Eli. Even if you didn’t mean it.” Fiona said before Eli sighed.

“Well, can you at least tell her that I’m really sorry.” Eli said before Fiona nodded.

“Sure. See ya.” Fiona said after she saw Y/N and before she walked away.

“Bye.”

“What did he say?” Y/N asked as Fiona came up to her.

“He just said to tell you that he’s really sorry. And he looked pretty bad. I’ve never seen him that upset.” Fiona said before Y/N sighed.

“What do you think I should do?” Y/N asked.

“Maybe hear him out.” Fiona said with a small shrug before the bell rang.

“I guess.” Y/N said before the two walked to class.

***

After school, Y/N decided to text Eli and tell him to come over.

Eli raced over there as soon as he saw the text.

“Hey.” Eli said after Y/N answered the door.

“Hi. Come in.”

The two went up the her room.

“Look, I’m really, really sorry. I honestly don’t know why I said those things. You’re not annoying, you’re actually really fun to be around. You’re also a great friend and I know why I’m friends with you, and it’s because you’re an amazing person.” Eli said before Y/N slightly blushed and smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess there’s something I have to get off of my chest.” Y/N said before Eli’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Okay, what is it?”

“I-I’ve been jealous of Clare.” Y/N sighed.

“Of Clare? Why?” Eli asked.

“Because of your history, because of the way you look at her, because she’s not me.” Y/N said as tears started to form in her eyes.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What do you mean, ‘she’s not you?’ So what? Who cares if she’s not you. You’re awesome.” Eli said as he wiped her tears.

“T-thanks.”

“Also..”

“What? What?” Y/N asked with a slight chuckle.

Eli placed his hands on her cheeks and crashed his lips against hers.

The two slowly pulled away and their eyes fluttered open.

“I really like you, Y/N L/N.” Eli said with a small chuckle.

“I really like you, too, Eli Goldsworthy.” Y/N said with a small smile.

“So, do you forgive me?” Eli asked before Y/N lightly smirked.

“Maybe.” Y/N said before Eli chuckled and connected their lips again.

[wincore]

childhood dreams | mark lee

pairing: singer!mark x reader

words: 3.3k

summary: you’ve been thinking of childhood dreams lately, and it seems like mark’s been doing the same.

genre: childhood friends to strangers to lovers(?), fluff, angst

warnings: none

song rec(s): childhood dreams - seraphine (cover) [orig. ARY]

a/n: im obsessed with this cover and i need to write cheesy drabbles to prevent writing droughts so here u go friends 👁👁 

Mark sits at his desk, bouncing his leg in compulsive habit as he has for the past half an hour. Your presence doesn’t make much of a difference to him—and it would be far more disheartening if there wasn’t more than half a decade of unsaid things between the two of you. With notebook pages crumpled on the floor, a mild scent of musk in the room and Mark’s refusal to look you in the eye, you don’t think this reunion could get any worse.

Or it could, you tell yourself when Mark clenches another page in his hand, glancing at you before turning back to the neatly bundled pages on his desk. He looks uncomfortable, and discomfort wasn’t something you ever recalled in your friendship.

“Mark,” you call. “Why don’t you take a break?”

He looks up at you again, doe eyes and rosy cheeks, and you wonder where it went wrong—where you could have gone wrong. There’s no explanation and there hasn’t been one since tenth grade. He used to look you in the eye back then at least, and joke with you, study with you, hang out with you. Is it wrong to say you were best friends then? You can’t really tell right now, as you cross your legs, withering into your own being on his bed that looks like it hasn’t been made for three days. Some things don’t change, after all.

And some things do.

“Okay,” he says, pushing himself from the wooden desk, which now looks a little lonely. He turns his chair to you, eyes still trained on his lap and occasionally shifting to your form. Dark, messy mop of hair and a face much more grown than you remember—he’s lovely to look at.

You’ve never seen him agree to a break when you were kids. The memory that surfaces makes you hold back a smile. The school library closed at 6 p.m. and Mark had all the books you needed for finals week by four. The sky used to be a warmer colour and so did your room, though you can’t quite remember the colour of your walls. You remember the hot pink ink you used to doodle with though, and Mark’s tired complaints when you wouldn’t let him study. Half of your doodles were inevitably on his notebook pages.

“You know, I didn’t think we’d meet again this way,” you start, trying to smile.

“Yeah,” he says, opening his mouth to continue but closing it quickly. 

There’s a quiet pause, filled in by the rustling of leaves and the reminiscence of winter winds outside. Late January nights aren’t close enough to winter and yet still, far from spring. You think of third grade, all of a sudden, of the first snow you saw and Mark Lee’s terribly postured snowman. 

“I… didn’t know you were songwriting for idols,” he says, with hesitant punctuation.

You chuckle, looking down at your feet. 

“I- I don’t mean it like that- I mean- I—”

“Mark,” you interrupt the mess that’s leaving his mouth. “It’s okay. You didn’t say anything wrong.”

He scratches the back of his head, looking a little guilty. You can’t really pinpoint exactly what’s going on in the space inside his head and it bothers you more than it should. You have been apart for a long, long time. You’re not as entwined as you used to be, not two peas in a pod anymore and not a matching set.

It feels colder, even in Mark’s modest apartment room.

“We’re friends,” you say. “Since college. Sohee and I. She wanted to sing and I wanted to write.”

“Oh. That’s neat.”

You chuckle. “You get to do both. I’m kind of jealous, you know? You’re talented. You’ve always been good at everything.”

“Oh, come on. That’s not- No way.”

You roll your eyes. “Some people see modesty as incompetence, Mark.”

He blinks, something rekindling inside his eyes, you tell with the way he stares at you.

“Oh my god. Mrs Wilsbury used to tell us that.”

The two of you laugh. It’s not particularly the thought of old Mrs Wilsbury, with her sharp words and shriveled face, but the spark of recognition in Mark’s boyish laugh that makes you feel a trembling inside your chest. 

“She was horrible,” you say, pulling a face.

“She was nice to me though,” Mark defends.

“Everyone was nice to you.”

Mark furrows his eyebrows and you roll your eyes at him trying hard to remember your high school days. The expressions he used to make haven't changed much; he’s just grown up and into his larger, masculine frame. It’s endearing now, more than ever.

He gasps suddenly and scrambles back to his desk, scribbling in a bunch of lines onto the paper. You lean back on the bed, sighing. It’s supposed to be the two of you writing verses but the way Mark works differs so much from yours that you decided it’d be better for him to do his thing while you’ll be the supporting cast. You don’t really mind when you’ve missed his words so much. You don’t really mind if it leads to him.

“Sorry,” he says when he’s done, a little awkward in tone.

A part of you feels sad for him, however. You feel sad that he’s had to work alone all these years as a solo singer-songwriter. It can’t be easy. You know it’s not easy. But Mark—he has a way of making dreams come true. Every kid dreams and yet, your best friend from years ago is living his. Perhaps, it makes things better, easier to look at.

You glance at Mark again, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration and lips pressed together. Something tells you he wants to scowl right now.

“Hey,” you call again, feeling comfortable on his bed now that it’s warm. “What was your debut song again? Dreamer?”

You know the answer. You just don’t want to give in to the feeling that’s calling for proximity again. Things change, and sometimes—most times—they’re out of your hands. 

You should be worried about nosy reporters right now. You in Mark Lee’s own room would give anyone attuned to celebrity news a sickening, sugary treat. A few headlines pop in and you shove them aside. You were surprised by the offer but apparently, his studio merges with his bedroom. (It did take an awkward explanation on his part as to why he invited you to his bedroom.)

Embarrassingly, you wish some of those headlines would come true. Your feelings haven’t changed since you were fifteen. 

His walls are blue like the sky and there’s more than enough lights but he only uses the one at his desk. It’s like a little sun, rays caressing his cheeks, nose and lips with a warm, orange touch. You would make fun of the gamer chair but he said it’s from Lee Donghyuck before you could even start breaking the ice you’re standing on. You wish the warmth would return between the two of you, the faint memory of holding hands in second grade floating in.

“It was Dreamer, yeah.” Mark’s voice breaks you out of your old teenage daydreams. You chuckle to force the heat off your cheeks.

A sudden impulse takes over your cold fingers and you take the acoustic guitar by his bed, playing the opening chords to his debut song. Mark’s eyes widen at your action and you give him your biggest smile—it’s like back then again. It used to be Mark on the bed though, with fingers strumming his worn out guitar and kind smile and honey eyes. You pause your playing. Mark’s still smiling at you in awe and you pat the spot beside you on the bed.

All of a sudden, you desperately wish for the past even if it isn’t meant to be recalled this way. 

You start playing again and Mark mumbles the beginning of the song, unsure, eliciting an annoyed sound from you. You stop playing and glower at him.

“Those aren’t the lyrics,” you say with mock distress. “You’re ruining the song.”

“It’s my song,” he responds with an incredulous laugh.

You begin again, and though Mark has to google his own lyrics, you spend an hour or so figuring out beats and tunes that vaguely resemble feelings you don’t feel anymore and thoughts you only remember empty decorated shells of. You’re not fifteen anymore, or fourteen or thirteen. Someday is now today. You’re not fifteen anymore but being fifteen is a part of you. The music floats seamlessly.

Your cheeks heat up when you think of the last time you met him, when you said you liked him and laughed it off in the awkward teenage fashion. You pray he doesn’t remember that embarrassing parting. It would be too silly an ending.

That’s why when you heard his name from Sohee’s manager, you couldn’t help yourself. After all, old friends should meet up once in their lives, right? You should close the door you left open if you can’t set foot into the house.

“Okay, but I genuinely didn’t know you write songs for Park Sohee,” Mark says, legs crossed on his bed as he leans in a little towards you. The dim lights of his room make his face look more rugged than usual, the tired lines spread across his face. You wonder if he’s kept up his habit of ditching breaks.

“I’m surprised you’re not in a boyband,” you reply, leaning against the wall. “And that your bed is this small.”

Mark stammers out a garbled explanation and you gasp.

“Wait- wait, oh my god. Don’t tell me… don’t tell me you’ve never had anyone over! For, you know...”

The comment runs a deep flush through his cheeks and you giggle at his expression.

“I- I- I just- I just didn’t have the time,” he says, biting down his lower lip possibly at his own awkwardness.

“Looks like you’re still a loser, Mark Lee,” you say, smiling smugly.

He narrows his eyes at you. “Looks like you’re still mean to me, (name).”

“Oh lord, when was I ever mean to you?”

“When were you not?”

You stick out his tongue at him and he laughs, relaxing against the sound of you and him—old friends. It could have been this way; it should have been this way.

“Why did you move away?” is what you want to ask. What was so urgent that you were left staring at the ghosts of his figure in his empty house, in his empty room and at the empty classroom desk? It’s not anger but a soft sense of regret, boosted by his quiet breathing and tired, thoughtful eyes. You could have stayed this way but instead, there’s a rift between the two of you. There’s years and years, and time isn’t a product to sell back and forth—you can’t buy those years back. Your chest hurts but you clutch the feeling tightly in your hands, afraid it might escape.

“This collab means a lot to Sohee,” you say, after a while. “You know, after the hiatus she’s been on.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I totally get it,” he says, sitting up straight and sobering from the bubble of you two. “We should get back to work.”

You hum. “You mean me staring at you tear all your hair out?”

Mark reddens in the face. “I’m not usually like this. Just saying. I need to be... inspired, I guess.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to revive your soundcloud account from when you were twelve,” you say, leaning back against the soft material of the bed.

“You’re making fun of me again,” he says, the smile lines on his face deepening.

You let out a smiling sigh. It’s just so easy. The thought still eats away at you, however, of what could’ve been. If you were younger, you wouldn’t care for this, you suppose. You’d just get along like nothing had passed at all.

“(name).” His voice sounds deeper and softer. “It’s nice having you back. To talk to, you know? It’s been a long time.”

Your face must have fallen because he straightens, eyes wide and wavering lips trying to form words. You sigh, looking away and see his form inch closer, some sort of fuzz leaving his mouth. 

“Mark. Mark.” You shake your head. “I think I’ve been a bad friend. I don’t know why I didn’t keep in touch—”

“Hey,” he interrupts, looking you in the eye. “It’s on me too.”

If you were younger, you would have confessed over and over again in ways private to everyone but you. 

You nod instead. If your childhood together was a prelude, there’s quite the long, awkward silence following it. You have to start the music soft and slow.

“It worked out though, didn’t it?” you ask, looking up to find his face nearer to yours than you would have expected.

When he tilts his head, you explain further, “We’re both doing fine, right? We- We did things, got our life and plans set and… now we’re here.”

Mark leans away from you. “I- I guess.”

There’s a pause, and you know there’s a lie fluttering between the two of you.

“I… I still feel like I’m running,” he says, a weary undertone carrying his voice forth. “I know I’ve done things… achieved things and I still- I still feel like I’m running a marathon. There’s still something out of reach.”

You scoot closer to him and offer a smile, your hand resting on his shoulder. 

“You can say you’re tired. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Thanks, (name). I appreciate it. I just don’t know where I’m going anymore.”

You give his shoulder a gentle squeeze before pulling him into a hug. You can’t hear his breathing over the sound of your pulse drumming in your ears but it’s warm, at the very least. His arms wrap around you after a few moments, heavy but comforting when his hand holds the back of your head, just like old times. The fabric of his mellow green hoodie is warm with his skin and you bury your face into it deeper.

“I’ve worked alone for a really long time,” he whispers. “It’s nice like this. I wish… I sometimes wish we could go back.”

You giggle, looking back up. “We could build a snowman for old times’ sake.”

Mark furrows his eyebrows. “There’s literally no snow. Besides, you just want to make fun of my snowman. Again.”

“You remember that?”

“Of course.”

His cheeks colour, one of his hands leaving your torso to scratch the back of his head. Suddenly aware of the lack of space, you pull back slightly to a more decent enough distance. Mark frowns but he rests his palm against the bedsheet, leaning his torso onto it.

“You could also let me draw in your songbook for the memories,” you suggest, smiling wide. “In hot pink.”

Mark scoffs. “Oh no. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“I’m not as immature as you think, Mark.” You roll your eyes. “It’s not like I’m going to draw a bunch of hot pink dicks.”

Mark opens his mouth and closes it. “I wasn’t- I wasn’t suggesting that.”

One look from you, however, and he realizes his defeat. It’s almost the same look as the one in spring break after tenth grade, except much happier and more carefree. Your eyes shift elsewhere when you remember the argument you laughed off, details lost but the gist was clear. You acted as though it didn’t matter if he moved away—something about that happy-go-lucky persona you’d developed. Oh god, you were an idiot.

The silence isn’t welcome. There’s no rhythm, no melodies in moments like these—moments in between things that should be happening and won’t ever happen. Mark takes a sudden precise intake of breath, making you look at him. His eyes are rich and resolute, and somehow as pure as they were when he was younger.

“When you- when you said you liked me,” Mark begins, and you hold your breath. “When we were fifteen, you said you liked me. Before I moved. I- I don’t really know if you were joking but… Do you- do you think you still would? If we started over?”

You look at him, his eyes unable to meet yours and shoulders tense, and find yourself at a loss for words and for breath. 

“Sorry,” he says quickly. “Stupid question.”

“I- I do- I would.”

Mark looks up at you reluctantly, almond eyes shimmering with some sort of emotion—innocent and curious as though you’re fifteen again.

You cough awkwardly and he looks away in a similar panicked fashion. This isn’t as romantic as you thought it would be and you almost think about taking your words back.

No. Not again. 

“I would,” you continue, dragging the syllable. “If you maybe asked me out on a date, at least.”  

Mark blinks, slack jawed like he’s seen the birth of a phoenix, or something equally dreamlike.

“Yes! I mean, wait- I- uh…”

He clears his throat, cheeks flushing with scarlet heat. “Do you- do you wanna get coffee tomorrow? No, wait- it’s a Monday. Th-This Saturday? …I’m doing this all wrong, aren’t I?”

You can’t hold back your laughter anymore, clutching your stomach at the sheepish look on Mark’s face and his slouched shoulders, much like the ones you were used to seeing as a stressed, sleep-deprived teenager. 

“We can make time after this project.” You smile.

“We have to wait until after—no, I mean, that’s totally cool.”

The defeated grin makes you laugh some more. Your eyes drift to the deserted work desk and notebook paper, and you gasp. Dawn will arrive at this rate, crashing in waves.

“We really should get back to work,” you tell him, your fingers against his chest. “Twelve year old us would be very disappointed in us now.”

The two of you laugh in shared memory, of the time when romance was as appealing as ice-cream dropped on the sidewalk. With eyes full of stars and a head full of clouds, where do you go? Right back to each other, you think. 

“We’ve come a long way,” you marvel. “We used to think of a different future every five minutes. Me, more than you, perfect poster boy.”

“You wanted to be an astronaut,” he laughs.

“And you wanted to be a swimmer. Said you’d even swim in a lake in Russia. In winter.”

“Yeah, I remember,” he says, eyes faraway. “We had all those childhood dreams.”

“You’ve reached one of them,” you respond, laughing.

There’s a short pause. Back then, everything was visionary. What the two of you had in mind had evolved, molted, shed its skin but now you’re here, in each other’s arms again—in a way that you haven't been before.

“It’s two,” he whispers, and the next thing you know, his lips are on yours and his arms are around your waist, pulling you closer. 

He pulls back in wide-eyed, careful consideration. “I- I meant to ask first.”

You respond with a kiss, his mouth warm against yours. 

He pulls back again.

“That was cheesy, wasn’t it?”

“Just shut up and kiss me, oh my god.”

You can’t help it, smiling against his lips and making him laugh at the feeling. Your finger brushes over the mole on his neck, unchanging in the same way he still uses too many hand gestures to talk or the way he still likes to lean his head on your shoulder. 

There are unchanged parts of him so vivid in your memories that some time through the night, you wonder if you’re dreaming. Then a terribly executed joke later, you have to nudge him with your elbow or smack his arm—and it falls into place in your reality again. Maybe you could’ve saved time; but it’s so much sweeter this way.

[cinnamon-bebe]

Chemtrails (Pedro Pascal x Fem!Reader)

Chemtrails (Pedro Pascal X Fem!Reader)

Summary: "If you died today, would you be happy with the life you've lived?" What happens when you've sacrificed your love for fame and fortune? Despite the glitz and glamour, the Reader is all Pedro can think about. The stars have never been on your side but can you rewrite the plans they have for you?

Warning: Angst, Fluff, Occasional Cursing

Inspired by the song Chemtrails Over the Country Club by Lana Del Rey

"I'm on the run with you, my sweet love

There's nothing wrong contemplating God

Under the chemtrails over the country club"

"Baby what's your sign?"

"You're in the wind, I'm in the water

Nobody's son, nobody's daughter

Watching the chemtrails over the country club"

Pedro's POV

The chatter of a hundred people and yet I still only hear your voice. Memories of your words, from years past.

You asked me what my sign was, I told you I was an Aries. You laughed and told me we shouldn't be friends, the stars say so. The stars say we're incompatible, we'd be at each other's throats. I'm a fire sign and you didn't need any more drama. I kissed you for the first time and told you I'd prove you wrong, you simply smiled and looked off to the chemtrails that flew over us.  

Memories from years past.

I didn't have much to offer you but I told you that you could take my word. At that time, it was worth more than anything I could have given you.

"You want me to defy the stars?" You raised an eyebrow, a smile teasing your face.

"The stars can go fuck themselves." I told you and kissed you again.

We were so young. We were nobodies. Running through the concrete jungle, with your hand in mine. Sun dress and kisses at midnight convenience stores, splitting a hot dog on a summer day because we needed money for the show at 7.

We used to contemplate the meaning of life over a bottle on our little balcony. I asked you if you were happy and you smiled but did not reply.

"If you died today, would you be happy with the life you've lived?" You asked me instead.

"No." I told you. "There's so much more I want to do. I want to be somebody."

I didn't know it then but that was the moment I started to lose you.

Memories from years past.

I find myself sitting at a restaurant now, with more money to line my pockets, pats on the back from strangers. People know my name and it comes out in whispers, as they stare over their expensive plate, getting cold just to catch a glimpse of me.

A beautiful woman sits across from me. As if a movie star isn't a big enough draw, a woman like her only invites more gazes. She looks like she'd just stepped off a screen herself. She gives me all her attention, so much so that she does not register the envious stares from the others around her.

Her lips are moving, perhaps a funny anecdote came to mind or is she telling me about her sister's wedding again that she mentioned before?  I cannot tell you, for my mind is elsewhere, with someone else.

"So would you like to come?" She smiles brightly at me, her perfect teeth sitting between her lips, painted in a dusty pink.  

"Huh?" I snap out of my daze, embarrassed that I was clearly not paying attention.

"Jule's wedding, did you...want to be my date for the day?" She blushes, hopeful.

"Oh. I...uh. I don't know Kate. I have a pretty packed schedule coming up, I don't know if I'll have time." I try to make up an excuse.

"It's too early isn't?" She bites her lip sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I know we've only been dating for a few weeks, I shouldn't have sprung this up on you so fast."

"No no, please don't be silly. I love weddings!" I try to laugh it off. "It's just that, with the new movie coming up, I need to start preparing before we go into production."

"I understand." She nods with a smile, "Comes with the territory when you're dating a big movie star I guess." She looks at me, I'm not sure if she's anticipating a response but I reciprocate with a grin and wave at the waiter for another drink.

Soon enough, she excuses herself from the table to go to the ladies room and I'm left sitting alone at our spot. I grow tiresome of the incessant chattering from the tables around me and I massage the temples of head, wishing I was at home in the comfort of my bed with just the company of my television.

I see glances from a small table to the side of me, a group of young women clearly too shy to ask for a photograph, egging each other on to make the first move over to me. Their hopes quickly dashed as I feel a firm hand on my shoulder, turning me around.

"Pedro?" A familiar voice calls my name.

"Anthony! Fancy seeing you here!" My eyes widen as I pull an old friend down for a hug.

"It's my anniversary with Charlize, we're just celebrating! God I haven't seen you for so long!" He shakes his head, slowly looking me up and down, examining my so-called transformation. I've aged so much since we last we saw each.

"How long have you been here?" I ask.

"A couple of hours, I actually saw you before but I..uh...I didn't want to interrupt your date."

Date? I swallow the word whole.

"You lucky man. She's very pretty." He comments.

"Yeah, she is."

"You could seem a bit more interested though but those are Charlize's words, not mine." He raises his hands up, letting his wife take the blame.

"I must seem like an ass, don't I?" Poor Kate, how spoilt am I to show a woman like her so little interest. "I haven't dated for so long, it's just hard getting back into the scene that's all."

Anthony let's out an inaudible "oh" and I know he's thinking the same thing, I can practically hear the name sitting on his tongue, desperately wanting to come out. 

"How is Y/N?" I break the ice, allowing the elephant in the room an escape before he suffocates along with me.

"She's good, very good actually. She's a documentary film maker now. Her work is amazing, you'd love it." Anthony couldn't help his excitement when speaking about you and I feel an intense pang of sadness and jealousy seeing his eyes light up. To see you, celebrate you. I wonder if you've aged like me or do you still look the same as how I remember. Do you still crinkle your nose every time you hear a bad joke? Do your eyes still get red and glassy when you look at the sky because you're wondering if anyone's looking down on you? I wish I knew.

"Listen, I have to go." Anthony looks back at his wife who gives me a polite wave from a distance.

"It was really good seeing you Anthony, I'm sorry we haven't spoken all these years. It's just with work..." I recycle that old excuse again.

"Don't worry about it...you made it! I know you worked really hard to get where you are now. I know you had to make a lot of sacrifices..." The last sentence, spoken so softly, it was almost drowned out. "I'm genuinely happy for you."

I nod, giving my friend one last hug before I ready for him to turn and leave, instead he hesitates and looks at me.  

"Hey Pedro?"

"Yeah?"

"She still lives in the neighbourhood." He looks down at the scarf in his hand before patting me on my arm. "Just so you know."

With that, he waves me goodbye. Walking back to his wife, who he wraps his arm around. The way she naturally rests into him and slips her hand into his coat pocket as they exit the restaurant, I wonder if I'd ever have that level of intimacy with Kate.  

__________________________________________________

I sent her home in a taxi. "I have an early morning and need to prep for some meetings", my excuse for her this time. Kate's disappointed expression, as I gave her a kiss on the cheek is the last thing on my mind.

Scuffing the cap of my leather shoes, I kick at the pavement. The world moves past me as I hide myself in the bubble of my thoughts. I have no sense of direction, my legs taking me to no intended destination, only letting the neon lights around guide me to where it desires.

Anthony's words were still ringing in my ears.

Would you want to see me?

My mind reminds me of the last time we were together.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, if I don't leave the city now, I may never get my chanc-"

"Get your chance to do what? Be a star?" You were sat deep in the corner of the sofa, far from me. Your voice calm and monotonous as you watched me pace up and down our tiny apartment. I couldn't decipher your expression, it was as if you knew what I was going to say.

"I want to make something out of my life! I want to prove to everyone and myself that I can make it Y/N. I don't want to waste my life away." I moved towards you, our presence separated by the little vintage coffee table I hated but still bought home because you loved it so much.

"Well then go, I don't want to hold you back from chasing your dreams."

"Y/N-"

"No. It's okay Pedro. I understand...I really do. I don't want to stop you from pursuing what you love." You got up from your spot, you seemed so small to me as you closed the gap between us. Your hand felt so light against my face, like you were disappearing before me. "Don't live in regret because of me."

"Y/N come wi-" I tried to hold you, hold you before you evaporated.

"No. My place is here." You took your hand away, moved back, the space between us grew more and more distant. "I don't have big dreams like you do. I like normality. I like living my life however I want it, do whatever I want, whenever I want. You asked me if I was happy...and I am."

"Would you still be happy without me?"

I stared at you. My gut sank because I already knew this was the end. You didn't have to tell me.

"I don't know..." You managed to smile, even through the gentle tears that formed in your eyes. "But I know you would be without me."

"That's not true." I tried to reach for you but you pulled away.

"We're very different people Pedro...I told you, we're incompatible. It's time we listened to the stars."

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted as I feel a hand rest softly on the small of my back.

"Hello sir, would you like to buy a rose?" An elderly woman smiles up at me. A child stands obediently nearby, holding a bouquet of individually wrapped stems, clearly past his bedtime but still helping Grandma late at night. The child looks tired, sad. Judging by the number of roses still in his hands, they must have had an unlucky day.

"How much for one?" I return her kind smile, taking out my wallet.

"$2. Thank you, thank you so much sir." The old woman sighs in relief calling the child over to bring the flowers for me to pick. Each stem had a handwritten tag with various cheesy sentiments adorned.

....A kiss in exchange for a rose...

...You're more beautiful than any flower but here's one to show you my love anyway...

....Would you be my Valentine?...

....Please forgive me, I was an idiot.

I chuckle at the last one before picking a rose at random.

I take out $100 and watch the old lady's eyes panic as she reaches in her purse to find change. Taking her hand firmly in mine, I assure her it wasn't necessary.

"I'll take one rose for the $100. You keep the rest of the flowers and have a good night okay?"

The woman looks at the child with her mouth agape and then back at me, clearly taken aback by the gesture.

"Sir, are you sure?"

"Yes, take the kid home and get some rest. This one rose itself is worth every dollar." I pat her hand which trembles in mine.

"Thank you! Thank you! Bless you and the woman who receives your rose!"

Taking the child's hand they quickly walk away, whispering to each other and disappearing into the night.

I stare at the flower in my hand and bring it closer to my face, studying the message on the tag.

...Let's defy the stars and write our own destiny.

I stand in the dark of night, illuminated only by the cafe lights ready to turn off for the day. My hand grips the stem as if it weighed a hundred tons yet afraid it would float away like a feather. The frantic honking of the traffic seems to taunt me, the laughter from the bars nearby seem to be mocking this idiot of a man standing in the middle of the streets, holding a flower he paid $100 for.

"Just do it!" I hear a young boy shout at his friend attempting a skateboard trick up the block.

Just do it. I repeat to myself. Just fucking do it.

"Taxi!"

 _________________________________________________

I remember these steps, we used to sit here with the neighbours' kids. Charlie, I think that was his name? I remember little Charlie proposing to you with a plastic ring and threatening to get his kindergarten buddies on me, simply for existing. I can't help but laugh at that memory.

Everyone was in love with you, the young, the old. They couldn't help but fall for your charms, your kindness, the way you'd smile at them even if you've never spoken a word to each other. Everyone was under your spell, including me.

You told me you loved me on these steps.

I had gotten back from a bad audition and couldn't bear to go home to you. I sat here for hours until you saw me from the balcony and came down. You didn't ask me anything. You just sat with me as we watched the kids run up and down the block, racing each other, teasing each other. I looked at you and you gave me a kiss on the nose.

"I love you."

You said it so quietly at first that I pretended I didn't I understand.

You rolled your eyes and pulled my face into yours, telling me you loved me over and over again as you smothered me with your kisses.

That was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Walking past our faded figures, I enter the building and see that nothing has changed.

The walls were the same duck egg green. The bulletin board covered in layers of flyers and advertisement, some new, with plenty dated months back. I wouldn't be surprised if the audition ads I tried out for from years ago were still there.

The smell of various cuisines mingle together to form its own unique indecipherable aroma.

A comforting aroma.

I look to the elevator, still out of order. Obviously.

We only lived on the third floor, the stairs will be fine.

I prepare myself for the incline when a voice calls out to me.

"Where are you going?"

I turn around and see our old building superintendent, decked out in his uniform. Stanley.

"Stan! It's me Pedro! Wow, you're still here!" I walk to him.

"Who?" He looks me up and down, completely confused as to who the hell I am.

"Pedro from 3B upstairs? I used to live with Y/N...maybe you don't remember me because of the moustache." I rub the bottom of my nose sheepishly.

"No...I don't remember you."

Old Stanley, perhaps age is catching up to him.

"I'm just going to see Y/N." I try to resume my journey but he stops me once more.

"No entry into the building if you're not a resident!" He points to the sign on the wall.

"Since when was that a rule?" I throw my hand in the air.

"Since today. We have too many unsavoury men try to come into the building, how do I know if you really know Miss Y/L/N? I'm not letting any potential predators or burglars into the building."

"But Stan she-"

Pointing to the sign on the wall again, he raises an angry brow. Not wishing a full body beat down by ol' Stan, I take myself back out the building like a bad dog.  

I sit on the steps, sighing in defeat. I try to convince myself that coming here is a mistake.

"Defy the stars...pfft! You've been in way too many movies Pedro." I mumble to myself, as I dig my thumb nail into the stem of the rose.

Perhaps we're only given the choice to rewrite our destiny but it doesn't mean destiny would just sit idly by and let you do whatever you want. It's probably for the best. What would I say anyway?

Running my hand through my hair, I get up to leave. The adrenaline from earlier had drained so quickly out of me, that its left me a fatigued mess. Move on Pedro, it's time to go home.

"Hey movie star." A voice calls from above. "You looking for me?"

Your hair falls past your face as you lean over the balcony and in that moment I feel my heart break into a million pieces.

There you are.

Standing before me, even more beautiful than when you left, if that is even possible.

You're wearing a simple white vest and grey shorts, one leg rubbing softly against the other. Your skin bears the warm orange glow reflected from the lights inside your apartment.

You look so raw, so delicate.

Every pulse in my body aches seeing you again.

"Wow." I breathe. "You look..."

You hide your laugh and I can see you blushing from behind your hand.

"Thanks. You look great too. I'm like the...um..." You rub under your nose with your finger.

"Thank you, I grew it out for a role but now people tell me I look like their grandma without it." I shrug, much to your amusement.

"What are you doing here?" You speak, more softly, more seriously.

How do I even respond to this question? I was out on a date with another woman but I bumped into our old friend who told me I should find you? Or should I go with I met an old woman and her kid, who I'm pretty sure were cupid's little minions, sent down to earth to give me a rose and to fuck with me?

"I was just in the neighbourhood. I wanted to see if you wanted to um...go out for a coffee?" I lie.

You look at me incredulously, clearly seeing through my bullshit.

"Everything is shut by now." You simply respond.

"Oh...well maybe we can just talk then?"

You tap the metal rails, where you lay your arms. Are you contemplating whether to come down or throw a bucket of water over me? I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Without saying a word, you disappear out of sight. The lights in your apartment switches off.

What does this mean? Are you off to bed?

Before I could ruminate any more, the doors open from behind me and you slip through.

God, you look even better up close.

My hands instinctively reach out to touch you but I withdraw quickly before you could see. You had wrapped yourself in a fleecy blanket, the threads a deep purple.

Without saying a word, you sit down on the step and I can only follow suit, my mind can no longer make decisions for itself it seems.

You smell the same, that same soft floral scent I used to love. The one I used to breathe in when I'd hold you close to me in bed because I didn't want you to leave for work.

Our knees are so close, they almost touch.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

For a minute I don't know how to respond, I just don't want to stop looking at you.

"I was...I was wondering if you were thinking about me?"

You laugh, I laugh too. Of course you weren't.

"I think about you all the time." You tell me so casually, it catches me off guard.

"You do?" I whisper in disbelief.

"It's hard not to when you're on every other billboard in the city."

Oh.

"I think about you all the time too Y/N."

You smile and look up at the sky. The night is aligned with many stars tonight and they all call for your attention but mine. I feel greedy staring at you but I'm simply making up for all the nights that I was alone without you, all those kisses I've shared with women that weren't you.

"What do you think the stars are telling us tonight?" I ask.

You grin and without looking back at me, you say "I think the stars are laughing at us."

"Do you think the stars have changed their mind about us?"

You finally turn to me, your eyes drop. "I don't think that's how it works Pedro."

"If this is the life the stars have planned for me, a life without you, then I don't want it Y/N."

"Pedro-"

"I thought if I made a name for myself, if people knew who I was, then I'd be sure of who I am...but who I'm meant to be, who I want to be...is to be with you." Your eyes meet mine, coloured with emotions you are scared to express. "I look for you everywhere I go Y/N, in every women I meet but you are always a world away."

"We don't even know each other anymore Pedro."

"You are the only one who has always known who I am, even before me Y/N. I'm still as strange and as wild as I have always been. I'm still as messy and as clumsy as I was before. I still love cheap corner store liquor and dancing terribly in public. I still look at chemtrails whenever they past me...because they remind me of you."

"Chemtrails are bad for you, they say they're chemicals."  You tell me, your voice low and expressionless.

"If I die with you as my last thought, it won't be so bad."

I finally find the courage to reach for you and you don't recoil from me, you let me gently run my finger against the hair that falls down past your face. You close your eyes and I selfishly take you, pulling you towards me.

I rest my forehead against yours and I savour this moment where I can be close to you and not let it be a memory.

"What if I've changed?" You whisper.

"Well then I'll spend the rest of my life getting to know you again."

"If I told you to run away with me tonight, would you?" You open your eyes to see me, your expression as serious as ever.

"You're my home Y/N. I'll go wherever you go. Even if it's to another galaxy, we'll drive a little red Corvette into space together and leave this all behind."

You smile and tug on the bottom of your lip. "You think the stars would still allow us to go to space?"

"Fuck the stars." I say as I take your lips.

Oh, how I've missed the sweetness of your taste; in this moment you are spoiling me rotten. You wrap your arms around me and allow the blanket to drop from your shoulders. The only stars that mattered now are those in our eyes. They're telling me the future and it's you. It's always been you.

The sirens of the city and the plane overhead may be loud but I hear nothing over the sound of your heart beat.

You pull away and we both laugh.

In this moment, we are perfect. I am no longer the famous celebrity that belonged to everyone. I am not a son and you are no one's daughter.

We only belong to each other.

I see you shiver and look towards the door.

"Let's go inside." You get up and take my hand, guiding me back to our home. The one I've longed for ever since I left.

The building is quiet, everyone asleep by this hour but old Stan at his desk. I try to shuffle past as inconspicuously as I could, my hand entwine with yours.

"Welcome back Mr Pascal." Stanley greets us as clear as day, his head not even looking up from above his phone.

"Wha- so you do remember me!"

Sly old dog.

Stanley doesn't respond and concentrates on his screen instead.

You shake your head and pull me up the steps but not before I set down my lucky rose on the desk.

"Good night Stan."

I call out before I chase my love up the stairs, both of us ready to write our next chapter together. I don't know what it will entail but I know if you're in it, it will be the greatest adventure I'll ever take.

"Kids these days." Stan sighs, closing the article on his phone and clicking on a familiar app. Putting his feet up, he relaxes with a smile on his face as the Mandalorian theme song begins to play.

[clouditae]

First Love | 11

Yoongi x reader | 18+ | college au | tattoo artist au | angst | fluff | swearing

Word: 2.6k

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi

Chapter Index

It’s been about a week since you last saw Yoongi. A week since you’ve discovered that he has a past with Sam, the girl you met at the party, but you’re not fully sure if it’s the same Sam and what past they have. 

You never told Ari about this. It was too… embarrassing for you to mention. You did what Ari didn’t want you to get hurt about, and you’re deeply hurt. Sure you didn’t do the actual thing with Yoongi like a lot of girls have, but what you did and what happened after caused a silence between the two of you. It’s not like you’re avoiding him the way he’s avoiding you. He hasn't texted you or talked to you, and Hoseok says there’s usually a girl in his room so he has to wait for her to leave before he can go in. 

Ari would give you worried glances, but you’d brush it off like you’re not about to cry because your feelings for him grew ten times more. When you left his room and went to yours, you lied in bed and cried yourself to sleep. Just like you did the first night of the year. That fear you felt when you were in that room only proved to be right. This ended badly and you’re left feeling empty.

Right now you’re sitting in class trying to focus on the lecture rather than on Sam and Yoongi, and you and Yoongi. You want to know who this girl is and what past they have together to make Yoongi sound so hateful. The only person you can ask is the person who knows him best. Thankfully you’re meeting Ari and Hoseok for lunch after class. 

As your professor finishes his lecture, you pack your belongings and leave the room like a lot of eager students who are just done listening to long rambles about night photography and how to have a better advantage when taking them. Walking down the hallway, you reach the stairwell and follow the group of people heading down. When you’re out of the building, you make your way towards the food court where Ari and Hoseok will be waiting. 

Not having your earphones in, you’re stuck with listening in on others conversations. Nothing is interesting to you; they talk about class or “the bastard is gonna get his ass beat when I see him this weekend—I can’t believe he cheated on me”. Conversations you can care less for. You have your own problems and one of those is how to bring Sam up in a conversation without causing Ari to get suspicious and cause Hoseok to question things. Sweet Hoseok is oblivious, and you want to keep it that way when you ask about her. 

Off into the distance, further away from the court, compared to you, is Hoseok chatting with someone. Your face lights up in realization as you pick up the pace to the food court. With another quick glance at Hoseok, and realizing he’s making his way over, you lightly jog inside and scan the area for Ari. You’re starting to feel the panic as Hoseok gets closer and closer to the building while your eyes continue to glance back and forth in the room. 

Where is she?

“Y/N over here,” her voice rings, hand waving towards you from the far left corner of the room. 

You almost run to her now as you throw your bag on a chair next to you and rush, “Whatever I ask Hoseok play along—I’ll explain everything later—” 

Hoseok has just arrived. “Hey guys,” he says, smiling as he takes a seat next to Ari and places a kiss at her temple. 

You try your best to act like nothing happened. “Hey. Are you guys ready to eat? I’m starving,” you tell them, voice wavering just a bit from the adrenaline of just a simple beating him here. 

“Yeah, let’s get some grub,” he agrees, smiling oh-so happily as he gets up. To your luck he never catches on, but Ari’s now staring at you with a curious look. You give her a begging look and that is all you need to do before she gives up and plays along with your request, but you know she’ll be barking questions the second the two of you are alone. “What are you guys in the mood for? I got an A on my performance so it’s my treat,” Hoseok explains, a huge grin on his face as he wraps his arms around Ari’s and your shoulders. 

“I’ll never deny free food, and congrats, babe.” Ari gets on her tiptoes and places a kiss on his cheek.  

“Thanks, baby, and don’t even argue with me Y/N, you’re letting me pay today,” Hoseok concludes without giving you a chance to deny his offer. 

You sigh, “Then can I have Chinese?” You point to the stand next to the Greek food stand. 

“I’m down for some Chinese,” Ari inputs. 

“Chinese it is!” 

After spending five minutes waiting for Ari to decide what she wants, getting in line and placing your order, and finally getting your food, the three of you sit at the table, munching on your orders. Ari and Hoseok spend a majority of the time talking while you struggle to find a way to bring up Yoongi and Sam. There never seems to be a perfect moment, and the longer you wait, the closer you get to finishing your food and leaving for the day while Hoseok goes back to class. 

But it’s like fate is on your side as Hoseok says, “Yoongi seems to be having a lot of girls over because almost every day when I go to the room, there’s a piece of red tape on the door. This is worse than usual. I know I said this before, but I really want to go in my room once in a while without having to wait all the time.”

It hurts. It hurts more than anything to hear that again, but you can’t let that pain show on your face even as Ari glances at you with a worried expression once again. “Oh, yeah,” you begin, swallowing the lump in your throat, “I forgot to say this last time, but some time last week I heard someone knocking on his door. It was a girl and it sounded like Yoongi wasn’t happy to see her there,” you claim, leaving out the details of being in his bathroom rather than in your room. 

Hoseok frowns. “Really? Did you happen to catch her name or what she looks like?”

“I didn’t see what she looks like, but I think he said Sam?” You try to look like you’re struggling to remember what he said, but his words are so clear in your head. 

You can see the slight shock on Hoseok’s face as he mutters, “Oh.” 

So he does know Sam. “Do you know her?” you question. 

Hoseok can only shake his head as he answers, “Yeah. She’s Yoongi’s ex girlfriend.” 

You need more information. You feel desperate for more information. “What happened between them? It has to be something bad since he didn’t sound happy and you don’t look like she’s a great person.” 

Hoseok picks at his food, taking a quick glance at you. “You can’t tell him I told you this.” 

You do your best not to look eager as you nod. “Of course.” 

“They met when they were sophomores in high school. It was an immediate attraction, and after five months they were dating. They’ve been together for four years before they broke up last year.”

“Why did they break up?” Ari asks, seemingly invested in Yoongi’s past just as much as you are. 

He sits back, running a hand down his face. “When Yoongi is dedicated to something, he’s dedicated. He’s also not good at expressing his feelings. In high school and even now he works on making music, so he tends to be cooped up in his room for days. Sam wanted attention from him—you know, to know he still loves her, but Yoongi struggles with that. Last year Yoongi caught her cheating on him, and that was the end of that.” 

You can’t think of anything to say. He met a girl; he fell in love, and now he’s heartbroken. How long did it take for him to fall in love with her? How long will he continue to let this eat him whole? 

“That must have sucked,” Ari mutters with a sincere tone. 

“Yeah, and I’m really hoping the girl that is in the room isn’t her,” Hoseok groans, taking a bite of his food.

“Never get back with an ex. Especially if they’ve cheated on you,” Ari recites, as if it’s an actual rule written in a book somewhere. 

“What does she look like?” you inquire. You have to know that the woman you met at the party, the nice girl who made you feel a bit more comfortable being there... You have to know that she is not the Sam that broke Yoongi’s heart. But the memory of Yoongi’s dejected look flashes in your head. 

It is her. You know it. You were his distraction in the bathroom when he saw her that day. 

“She has like red blondish hair? Brown eyes. She’s a theater arts major, so if you’ve gone to plays you may have seen her.” He shrugs, finishing the rest of his food. 

“Plays? I’ve been to a few.” Ari taps her chin in thought. “I’m trying to remember a girl with that hair color. What plays has she been in?”

“Uhhh…” he trails off, eyes darting back and forth a bit as he tries to remember. “The last time I saw one was when she was in Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. She was Katherine? I’m not a pro at Shakespeare, so I’m not totally sure if she played that character.” 

“Oh! The strawberry blonde? She’s gorgeous,” Ari comments, eyes wide with surprise.

Yeah, she really is, you confirm, remembering how pretty she is and how her laugh was so bubbly and warm. You can feel a tinge of jealousy boiling in the pit of your stomach. She’s pretty, friendly, funny and so much more. Yoongi fell in love with her. He’ll never fall in love with you, and you hate yourself for thinking about that. 

“You’ve seen her before?” Ari asks.

You blink a few times in realization that you said those words out loud. “Yeah. She was at the party I went to. She was the other team I was playing against in beer pong.” 

“Really?” Hoseok baffles, voice louder than before. Ari covers his mouth, smiling apologetically to the eyes glancing in your direction. They’re the perfect couple when it comes to being loud. He removes his girlfriend’s hand from his mouth. “No wonder Yoongi was acting weird when he came back. He was in a pissy mood—more than usual,” he adds. 

“Damn. He must really hate her.” Ari shakes her head, pressing the lock button on her phone to check the time. “Oh, babe you should go. Class starts in ten,” she tells Hoseok, looking to him as her phone goes black once again.  

Taking a quick glance at his watch, his eyes widen before he closes the lid to his box, picking it up along with his backpack. “You’re right. I’ll see you guys later.” Giving a quick kiss to Ari, Hoseok quickly leaves the food court. 

The second he’s out of sight, Ari’s attention is now on you. “So are you going to tell me what that was about?”

You sigh. You can’t have a second to yourself before she bombards you with questions, but it’s just like you predicted. “Well what I told Hoseok was what I told you to wait for.” You avert your gaze. “Except I was in Yoongi’s bathroom when Sam knocked on his door.” 

“What were you doing in his room?” You can see the hint of curiosity and playfulness dance on her face.

“What happened that day was a mistake. Sam clearly wants him back, and Yoongi hasn’t spoken to me since that day.” You can see that Ari wants more information as to what happened that day, but you just aren’t ready to tell her. Tell her what will most likely be the biggest mistake you’ll ever make. “I’ll tell you some time, Ari. Just not now.” 

Her being your best friend, she can tell your distress and can only nod, reaching across the table to take your hand in hers. “Whenever you’re ready, hon, I’ll be here and ready to beat ass if necessary.” You nod, now fighting the urge to cry all over again. You’ve been fighting the urge to cry almost every day, and you feel ridiculous about it. “Want to head back to the dorm?” 

You nod again, closing the lid to your entrée box. You grab your backpack, along with your food and follow her to the trash can to toss the food and follow her out of the building. Walking through the crowd, Ari loops her arm through yours, smiling as she leads you to the bus stop to wait for your ride back to the dorm. 

A short, and somewhat crowded ride later, you and Ari lie in your own beds staring up at the ceiling in silence. “I know I have a paper to write, but right now I could care less what the four main issues Hunston discusses regarding in corpus design are. I think I’d rather talk about the Tokugawa era and its fall than anything with corpus linguistics,” Ari complains, the sound of her feet hitting her bed filling the silence. 

You frown in confusion. “What?”

“Exactly!” she whines, “Why did I decide to take five classes this semester?”

“Why did you?” you ask her, turning to your side to see her through the mirror. She can’t see you though, so it always makes you feel a bit weird staring at her without her really knowing it. 

“I want my last semester to be the easiest,” she answers, her smile spreading across her lips. The smile leaves as she sits up and stares at you. Seeing her serious expression, you sit up and look at her. “If you don’t want to do this with Yoongi anymore you should tell him. I’ll make something up to Hoseok if he asks.”

You give her a small smile as your gaze goes down to your hands on your lap. You know you have to end things with him. If you continue to receive these lessons it’ll only hurt you in the end. You can’t keep pushing yourself onto this hope that he’ll one day fall for you. No matter how much you wish for his attention, you’ll never get it. “Yeah, I know,” you whisper, blinking back the tears. 

You hear her moving around before the sound of her feet hitting the floor causes you to look up. She grabs her white water bottle. “I’m gonna go fill up my bottle and then find Rollan downstairs because I have questions about bringing a cat in here.” You chuckle. “Be back,” she sings, opening the door and leaving the room. 

When the door closes with a bang, you let out a shaky sigh and grab your phone that’s hidden under your pillow. You unlock it, going to your contacts and search for his name. Once you tap on his name and open the text, you type away with shaky fingers. 

[1:14 pm] Me: Hey. After thinking about it, I feel like I’ve learned enough to try and find someone on my own. I won’t be needing those lessons anymore. I hate you.

Deleting the last sentence, you hit send.

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part eighty eight/

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: Enjoy! Things will get better soon

Warnings: language, angst

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*Flashback*

*Moscow 1989*

"It's fucking bullshit!" Nikki shouts as he and the rest of the band come barreling through the dressing room door, "He's seriously going to let Bon fucking Jovi headline? Seriously? We deserve more than that!"

I glance up from filing my nails as each and everyone of them, besides Mick, looks pissed.

"Who the hell does Doc think he is? We're more of a selling act than he is! We didn't fly all the way out here just so we can be out at the bottom of the lineup. It's a complete waste of our time. We could be getting ready to promote Dr. Feelgood!" Tommy then joins in on the screaming match, well at this point I would say it's an ego match.

I move a piece of Nikki's disheveled hair out of his face as he sits next to me on the leather couch, "Fucking Doc promised Jovi that he would be headlining and bumped us down a few notches. If you can't handle managing big names than maybe you should get a different fucking job." Nikki explains to me as he swipes the bottle of sparkling water off the table and takes a sip.

I look around the room as Vince is staring off into space, Tommy is fumbling with his wedding ring and Mick is in his own little world strumming some chords on the guitar. I clear my throat a bit, "Baby, it's not that big of a deal.."

"Not that big of a deal?"

Nikki and I stare at each other a moment, "You know this event is for the fans, the kids that have never experienced American rock before. I don't think it really matters whose headlining and whose not, ya know?" I express my opinion gently as he just continues to stare at me, a dumbfounded look plastered across his face.

"You're just saying that because you like Bon Jovi." He snaps back with an added eye roll,

I chuckle a bit, "You're right, I do, but I wouldn't care if he was headlining or not. Just like I don't care if Mötley was headlining or not. Doc is doing what's best for business. The whole line up is star studded, Nikki. Whether your first or last it's not gonna matter to the audience. What matters is how good of a show you put on. Plus...with you guys being sober, not having performed in over a year and with the new album coming out, it just gives the band the chance to prove that you guys are doing better than ever before."

"How could you not care if Mötley was headlining or not?" Nikki questions, his tone shocked as I groan in annoyance.

"That's really all you took from that?" I eye him as his lips tug upwards in a small smile.

"It just fucking sucks Van. Our first big show out of rehab and he has us being the opening act for Bon Jovi. It's ridiculous. Doc was our manager first. We should take precedence. Not some fucking wannabe cowboy that sings power ballads."

*End flashback*

*Nikki's POV*

"She really wants to play soccer?" I look at Vanity as I lean against the doorframe of the bathroom, "Arianna hates when she gets dirty from playing in the backyard so why would she want to play soccer?" My nose wrinkles up in confusion as I watch Van brush her teeth.

She shrugs at me before spitting and rinsing her mouth, "I don't know. She just said she wanted to play so I grabbed the papers from the bulletin board at her school. I think it would be good for her Nikki. She likes staying busy so I think some little league sports would be good. We can still think about it and talk, the packet isn't due until April."

"No, no. I agree too. We'll just have to explain that she would have to stick with it and try to participate as much as she likes being active she is lazy sometimes." I notice she grabs her make up bag and start pulling stuff out, "You going somewhere?"

She turns her head looking over at me as she rubs cream onto her face, "Yeah? I'm going out with Jon...I told you like three days ago."

"Jon? Oh, right...right...the guy from the diner." I chuckle as she lets out an annoyed sigh.

"If you're gonna start already you can just leave me alone." Vanity tells me, eyebrow raising in mischief as she begins to put make up on her face.

I cross the threshold and pull myself up on the counter, "Where's he taking you? Somewhere romantic?" I tease her as she glances at me, "Oh? It is romantic tonight? That's cool...Donna's out shooting some stuff for Baywatch so she's kinda busy."

"I'm sorry you're lonely." Vanity smirks as she blows me a kiss, "And he's taking me to the beach. There's a horse stable in Malibu and we're gonna ride some horses and have dinner."

I let out an boisterous laugh, "Fucking seriously? That's the most corniest date I've ever heard of."

"Don't be mad because you didn't think of taking me first." She's quick with a comeback as I steal the blush from the counter when she reaches for it.

"Baby, If I wanted to take you on a romantic date I would fly us to Paris." I explain as I hand the container over, "Yeah...Paris, we could get some really nice wine, I'd take you to the best restaurant, get you some fresh flowers from the florist cart. We would take a stroll at the Jardin des Plantes after our dinner. You'd love it Van, there's twinkling lights and always people singing love songs." I explain to her as she glances at me smiling before rolling her eyes and looking back at herself in the mirror.

"Last time I was in Paris, I found out I was pregnant."

My eyes narrow as my head slightly tilts to the side, "During Dr. Feelgood? You knew you were pregnant then?"

"Yeah.." she nods as she starts putting the make up away and tousled her hair with her fingers, "And don't get upset because I didn't tell you. I had to take tests in Paris, remember? You thought I was sick from the sushi? I just had a feeling something was off and I also didn't want to tell you in case they were wrong. One test was negative so I just wanted to wait until we got back home and as you know what happened next." She chuckles a bit and looks at me, "Do I look okay?"

I sigh a bit, trying not to be upset "Yeah doll, you look perfect."

Vanity comes over and stands in front of me, placing her hands on my knees, "If you're gonna be bored go hang out with Tommy-"

"He's too obsessed with putting his head against Clems stomach since they heard the heartbeat at the doctors appointment last week." I explain as she smiles at me.

"You can't be mad at him for that. What about Mick? I'm sure he could use some company or Corabi?"

"No, Micks been wanting to stay to himself and Corabi got a girlfriend...I'll just wait for you to get back. You are coming home tonight, right?" I question her as she leaves the bathroom and I quickly follow, "Right, Vanity?"

"Yes Nikki. I'll be home. Do I have a curfew?" She looks at me over her shoulder before she walks into her closet to pick out clothes.

"Well...now that you mention it..." I laugh when she throws a pair of jeans at me before she slips a pair on and pulls them over her ass and hips, "So it's a casual date?"

"Mhmm...not that romantic like you think it is." She tells me as she pushes hangers back to look at sweaters. We both look at each other when the doorbell goes off.

"Nikki! Wait!!" She yells for me as I run out of her room with Anarchy chasing after me.

I run down the stairs, my eyes narrowing when I see a figure outside the glass paneling of the door, "I'll get it Van! You finish getting dressed!" I yell back at her, nudging Anarchy out of the way as I open up the door. The arrogant smile I had on my face dropped when I saw a dozen red roses and a pearly white smile hiding behind it.

"Jovi?" I stare at him as he chuckles, "You lost?"

"Uh no actually. I'm here to pick up Vanity." He explains, clearing his throat, "We have plans."

My hand grips the doorknob as we stare at one another, "Oh really? You're the guy she's been seeing? You do know it isn't a serious thing between you and her, right?"

Jon laughs at me as I glare, he holds the bouquet of flowers in his hand, "Look Nikki, I wouldn't want your feathers to get ruffled. We're just having fun with each other, that's all."

What the fuck was that suppose to mean? Fun? With each other?

"Yeah, well she can't go. She's sick. It's really nasty, she's been vomiting all morning and stuck on the toilet if you know what I mean. I think Arianna brought the bug home. So I'll have her call you, yeah?" I try closing the front door but he puts his hand out to stop me, "Get off my property before I call the cops."

I feel a hand on my side before I'm being pushed out of the way, "I'm glad you two were able to catch up." Van says, glaring at me before rolling her eyes, "Lets get going Jon." She smiles at him as he hands over the flowers and she's giving them to me "Put them in a vase for me would you Nikki?"

I reach for her arm and pull her back in, "Give us a minute would ya Jon? It's a family meeting." I glare before shutting the door in his face, "Seriously?! Bon fucking Jovi?!" I yell quietly as she reaches for the door handle but I grab her wrist.

"What? What's the problem? I'm doing what the therapist is asking us to do?" She fakes stupidity as she smiles at me, "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Why him? Of all fucking people? You know I don't like him." I speak through gritted teeth, "You could have picked anyone but him."

"That's not my problem Nikki. I am doing what you wanted so I am going to have fun on my date and I will see you when I get back."

My jaw clenches as she reaches for the door, I wanted to find the words to tell her not to go, to just stay with me and we'll figure it out but I just couldn't get them out of my fucking mouth. She looks at me before closing the door, hearing them talk before a car door closes and the engine starts. I grip the flowers in my hand before tossing them into the trash can.

*Vanity's POV*

I lean down against the drivers side window, feeling Jon put his hand against my cheek "I really had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you." I smile at him as his thumb runs over my cheekbone.

"Can't wait to see what you plan for the next date, I don't know why but I'm expecting it to be over the top." We both chuckle a bit as I nod in agreement.

"I'll have to think of something good then.." we both look at each other for a moment, before I lean forward to give him a kiss, "Goodnight Jon."

"Goodnight sweetheart, I'll call you."

I sigh a bit, waving bye to him when he drives out of the gates. I hold onto my purse as I walk up the front steps to the door, reaching for the handle as it doesn't open. I groan a bit and dig through my purse for my keys "Damnit.." I look through the glass, seeing them on the entry way table being illuminated by the kitchen light.

I step off the porch and walk over to the gate leading to the back yard but it's locked. Fucking Nikki. It's never locked. I try reaching over the wooden boards but I wasn't tall enough to grasp the latch. I sigh and go over to the door, pressing the doorbell and knocking loudly.

I hear a window open above me and i step back seeing Nikki, "Babe! Open the door. I left my keys here!"

"Oh you did? Well that sure as hell sucks." He says as he looks down at me.

"Nikki c'mon it's cold! Just let me in!" I shout back at him as I hear him laugh "This isn't funny! Open the door or I'm breaking it!" I hear him grumble before he leaves the window. I wait impatiently, ringing the doorbell again before the hallway light flips on.

"Why'd you forget your keys, Van?" He looks at me with a smug smile as he opens up the door.

"Because you were yelling at me." I lean against the wall "And we never lock the side gate so what gives? How childish are you to lock me out because you're jealous?"

"Jealous? Of course I'm jealous! How did you even meet him?! What the fuck Vanity, it's gonna get out to the press!"

"It's already in the press Nikki!" I shout back at him, "They already released pictures of you and Donna looking pretty comfortable at some god damn club! Everyone already knows! I met him at work Nikki-"

"So you've been lying to me?"

I stare at him as I laugh, "Are you joking me? Lying to you? I haven't lied about anything! I told you I was seeing a guy I met there!"

"But you didn't say it was Jovi! God, why do you have a thing for fucking rockstars! If it's not me, it's Tommy, if it's not Slash, it's Jovi. Whose fucking next!? How about I call up some of my friends and you can pick! You're nothing more than a glorified groupie slut who got lucky and popped out a rockstars kid!"

My shoulders drop as I stare at him in shock. Eyebrows raised and my lips parting slightly, "Hm." My eyes close with a light head shake as I reach for my keys from the bowl. I keep my purse on my shoulder as I turn from him and head back out the front door.

"Van, it's the middle of the night, I am sorry." Nikki's tone is panicked as he follows after me, "I'm mad and I didn't mean that. I said it out of anger." I feel his hand wrap around my elbow as my own hand reaches for the door. I tug my arm away from his grip and open the car door.

I stare at him for a moment, trying to come up with something to say, "Yeah, no. I'm not doing this." I sit down and shut the door, quickly locking it as I see him trying to open it. I put the key in the ignition ignoring the constant tapping on the window and my name being yelled as I put it in reverse and start backing out of the driveway. I'm not really sure where I was going, but I just knew I didn't want to be here with him suffocating me with apologies.

Later the following week, I find myself sitting in our therapists office clutching an iced coffee as I wait for Dr. Peterson to come in. I wanted to have a solo session as Nikki was in meetings with Alan and the band to discuss the production of the up coming tour and Arianna was at school.

Nikki and I haven't talked about our argument the other night, nor have we spoke more than 5 words to each other at a time. It makes me laugh because talking is easy, it comes naturally for the two of us as our own persons. Nikki had also been leaving after Arianna goes to bed and coming back early in the morning before she wakes up, my guess is he's staying at Donna's but at this point I've been finding myself asking do I even care anymore?

"I am surprised to see you by yourself." Dr. Peterson pulls me from my thoughts as I hear the door click shut and watch her walk over to her chair.

"Yeah-" I smile politely at her, "Thanks for seeing me on such a short notice too. I really appreciate it." I watch as she opens up her folder as she brings her glasses up to her face.

"At least I won't have to replace the candy dish mid session because Nikki decided to inhale the whole thing." She jokes as we both laugh a bit.

"I decided it would be better if I went solo on this one. Would save us both the headache and keep Nikki out of the dentist."

"Of course, so what would you like to discuss today?"

I shift on the couch as I cross one leg over my knee, "Well...Nikki and I got into a pretty heated argument the other night essentially over us seeing other people and I left because I didn't want to say anything I regretted like he did. I don't know...I'm just, I'm conflicted." I glance over at her, "The more him and I see other people, the more I don't feel like we have a chance of being together how we want to be. We're more distant than ever before. It's like there's some heavy, crushing weight over us."

"We-we rarely talk, only when it involves Arianna. Sometimes we have sex still so it's just confusing because he'll tell me one thing and do another."

"Okay...Have you two done any of the other ideas I told you about? Spending time with one another? Doing things you normally wouldn't do? Spending time together without Arianna? Adults need their time too, Vanity." She questions as I shake my head, "You two just jumped into seeing other people?"

"Well Nikki did, I didn't-" I sigh when she puts her hand up, "I forgot, don't place blame on the other person. Yes, we both did jump into seeing other people. I mean, we did hang out and spend time together alone but it was only once. He started getting busy with the album so we just haven't had the time."

"You haven't had the time? Or you just don't want to make the time?" Dr. Peterson asks as I look at her.

"Well...I don't know!" I chuckle a bit, "Nikki's busy. He has a lot on his plate at the moment."

She narrows her eyes at me, "He's busy? Is he even too busy for Arianna?"

"No, he's never too busy for her. He'd wipe out his whole schedule for Arianna."

Dr. Peterson leans back in the chair as we look at one another for a moment, "So...he's not too busy for Arianna and he's not too busy to make time to go on these dates from what you're telling me. So why do you think he's too busy to make time for you? Or are you worried he's going to tell you no, Vanity?"

"No, I'm not worried he would say no....I just don't feel like I'm one of his priorities, so why would he waste his time?" I shrug my shoulders as I look away from her for a moment.

"Okay....you've been going on dates too? How are they? Are you enjoying your time?"

I take a deep breath and exhale, "Yeah, I am. They've been really good and a lot of fun. He's really nice and pleasant to be around. It's like a fresh of breath air, but I feel so much guilt when I'm with him and I doubt Nikki feels like that." I roll my eyes as I meet her stern gaze, "I shouldn't assume how he's feeling." I mumble lowly to her.

"And has Nikki expressed how he feels about you going on dates? Has he told you?"

I nod a bit, "Yeah, he usually just jokes or teases me about it. But he got mad over the weekend that I was going on a date so we got into an argument. Nikki wasn't happy about who I'm seeing because he knows him and doesn't like him. He locked me out of the house, every door and side gate was locked. Even the garage. He kept saying I had been lying to him just because I didn't tell him who I was seeing.. I didn't tell him who I was seeing because I knew this would be the outcome." I lightly shake my head as a sigh escapes me.

"Vanity, I know you want things to work."

I stare at Dr. Peterson as my eyes swell up with tears, "Is that so wrong? That I just want to be together? For Arianna to have a family? I don't think that's a bad thing to want." I feel my voice get shaky and my bottom lip quivers as I look away from her.

"No, you're right. It's not a bad thing to want. However, is it Arianna who wants a family or is it you?"

My eyebrows pull together tightly in confusion, "What do you mean? I'm certain Arianna would want to see us together."

Dr. Peterson chuckles slightly as she glances at me, "You always use Arianna. Let's be honest, Vanity. You want a family because you weren't close with your own, same with Nikki and you are doing everything under the sun to have Nikki just want you, and only you. He's been your only support, stable support system. Yet, you don't know if you want him in or want him out. You're so worried about if he wants you that you probably don't stop and ask yourself, 'hey, do I even want him?'."

"Because he always says he wants me and only me. I'm sorry that I believe him?" My face scrunches up as I become frustrated, "My family was around enough. I wasn't completely abandoned like Nikki was. I just don't know why I keep thinking he's going to change, he never does. It's a never ending fucking cycle we're fine one minute and then the next we're not. It won't fucking stop." I grumble, slumping back against the couch as I look past her.

"Then maybe this is when you need to change instead of waiting on him. You decide if you want to take this situation into your hands and decide the outcome."

My eyes find hers, "Are you telling me to leave him?" The expression drops from my face and a frown replaces it as she doesn't say anything in return, "But I love him...and I barely knew how to function in New York without him." I blink back tears as I stare at the green and white pattered carpet, "I just- I wouldn't even know how to bring it up to Nikki without it turning into one big pile of shit."

"You could always do it here. It is a safe space, ya know?"

"I know it's a safe place...I'd just be scared he'd storm out of here and I'd find all my stuff thrown out in the street."

She chuckles, "I highly doubt Nikki would do that to you." I shrug at her words, "I'm not saying to jump to conclusions Vanity. Think it over, listen to what your gut, mind and heart are saying. I can only give you so much advice, it's your turn to decide if you want to take it or not."

I take a deep breath in as I breathe it out slowly, "I'll think about it for a few days and then I'll talk to him. And whatever happens, happens."