#{ i fucking snorted when i saw this quote and i thought of them }

[ravennaortiz]

The guys reactions to accidently hurting you- SONS Version

Chibs- "You broke my toes" you stated as the nurse wheeled you out of x-ray. "All of them. Our wedding is tomorrow Filip you continued in a monotone voice. Chibs cringed as he took in what you were saying. "I'm sorry kitten. I only meant to surprise you with my dance moves....I should have taken my boots off" he apologized as he knelt next to you and kissed your hand.

Halfsack- He has apologized a half dozen times as he presses the bag of frozen peas to your left cheek. He had only wanted to show you some self defense techniques like you had asked. He had not expected you to step forward when he swung at you while he was explaining how to duck. The sound of his fist hitting your soft skin almost made him vomit as the scene replayed for him. "I took that hit well I think" you murmured as you wiped away the last remaining tears making him snort. "You did cry less than most of people I hit" he joked as he kissed your forehead.

Happy- "So sorry baby girl" murmured Happy as he fed you ice cream in bed. "Its okay. Was an accident" you replied as you offered him a sincere smile. Your tough biker had taken your injury harder than you. The ribbing from the rets of the club had not helped either. "Should have explained the kickback better. Hell should not have let you try that gun. No need. Just thought you looked hot with it in your hands" ranted Happy before you cut him off with a kiss.

Jax- The silence as you made your way slowly through the clubhouse is honestly loud. Rolling your eyes you see Jax sitting at the head of the table alone. "I am going to start therapy and anger management classes" he stated when he saw you leaning against the door frame. "Yeah, good call. I know you were going for Happy. Weak as tables fault for collapsing under all our weight" you tried to joke. "Good news nothing broken on me at least. Bad news you fucked my crow tattoo up"

Juice-What was suppose to be tipsy, sexy time turned into tipsy where is our medical supplies quickly. He is beside himself as he holds gauze to your ass cheek. Your attempts at humor were not helping the guilt train he had himself on. "Baby, I'm good its not even bleeding" you laugh as you try and turn over on his lap but he keeps you firmly face down. Sighing you stop trying to move. "Juice it was a belt buckle. Not like you stabbed me or meant to do it. Can we please get back to what we were doing?" you pleaded as he mumbled sorry again.

Kozik- Sitting by your bedside he is somber. He cant help but replay the crash over and over again. Trying to decide what he could have done different. What if he hadn't grabbed your arm? Would you have been fine or would you have sailed over the side of the cliff? Was he going to fast? Should he have expected the drunk driver to be coming at you guys around the blind curve? "I'm sorry" he murmurs again as he kisses your hand. The doctors said you will be fine but he's not sure if he will.

Opie- He is beside himself, after the loss of Donna he cant believe he has love. He cant even bring himself to get on the ambulance and his phone call to Jax has the whole club screeching to a stop in front your house. "I killed her" he sobs as Jax kneels next to him. "She asked me to buy a step stool and I was like I'm a step stool. Lifted her up and lost my grip and she hit her head. Before Jax can say anything a paramedic is hovering. "Sir, your wife is demanding you get in the ambulance. She said and I quote stop acting like a blubbering mess or she will give you a reason to act like this."

Ratboy-He cant believe how dumb he was. Has suggested you break up with him a couple times as he carries you down the mountain the two of you had been hiking. You can walk and are fine. Its bruised and scraped knees not broken bones you had told him. "I'm sorry for proposing to you" he blurts out once you guys are at the car. "I mean I love you and want you forever but like for how I did it" he adds as you glare up at him.

Tig- "Well we all learned something today. There is a reason you use certain candles for wax play. Don't go cheap or you end up in the ER" stated Tig with a chuckle as he helped you onto your bed. Careful not to brush the burns on your back and hips. A low growl and the middle finger is all you offered your old man. Tig swallowed hard and sighed. "One day we will look back on tonight and laugh" he tried again as he squeezed one of your butt cheeks playfully. "Go away" you demanded.

Return to Headcanon Masterlist

[nightxcreature]

Roadhouse Rendezvous

Summary: Reader and Dean have a little fun in the Roadhouse Bathroom.

A/N: Number 3? For @jacklesversebingo 2024! I’m having so much fun writing these, I hope you enjoy this one! This is for the prompt, “I’ll give you $50 to forget what you just saw.” Prompt is in bold.

Warnings: Slight Smut, sexual innuendos for sure, cursing because I like that, caught in the act

My hands were lost in the flannel around his torso, pulling him hard against me as his tongue danced between my lips. His right hand was wrapped tightly around my throat causing the silver ring on his finger to cut deliciously into my skin. The irony of Ten Seconds to Love by Mötley Crüe playing on the jukebox out front isn’t lost on me when he suddenly shrugs off the flannel and shoves me against the door.

“Want you so bad, Baby.” He mumbles against my lips, the hand formerly around my throat making its way to the hem of my shirt, “Need you.”

I gasp as he nips my neck, slowly running his tongue over the sting, “Take me.”

A guttural groan leaves his lips and his kisses me deeply. I feel a tap on my arm as he instructs me to lift them above my head and my shirt soon finds itself on the floor. His big hands cup my breast and I can’t stop the moan that leaves me, “Hurry, Dean. I don’t have long before Jo realizes I’m gone.”

“She can run the bar alone for a while.” He mumbles into my neck as he reaches around to unhook my bra, “You’ve taught her well enough.”

I gasp again as he lifts me into his arms, placing my back against the door, “Besides,” he starts, a shit-eating grin on his face, “I want to take my time and enjoy this meal. It’s not everyday that I get to fuck my girl in her mom’s bar.” He winks and drops to his knees, sliding the skirt up my legs as he places them on his shoulders.

My hands find themselves in his hair at the feeling of his breath against my core and I slam my eyes shut, “Please.” I whisper.

I hear the chuckle before I feel him shake his head, “Oh, she’s beggin’ now? I thought you had to get back to work?”

With a roll of eyes I shove his face into me and he groans loudly as I snap, “Shut up and eat me.”

“Yes, ma’am” He says with a smile, reaching up my skirt to pull my panties aside, “Gladly…”

He slowly lowers his lips to my entrance when suddenly the toilet in one of the stalls flushes. I rush to jump off of him while he slams into the counter to grab his gun.

“Where the fuck is my shirt?!” I whisper yell, “I thought you scoped this bathroom out before bringing me in here!”

He shrugs sheepishly and hands me my shirt from where it fell under the counter, “The place is dead, who was gonna be in here?!”

I slip my shirt on just before Ash steps out of the stall, “Hey, I’m all for a little lovin’, but I think you ladies should find a room. Preferably, not a public restroom.”

I roll my eyes again and sigh, “Ash, I’ll pay you $50 to forget what you just saw.”

He gives me a shrug and turns to Dean, “And you?”

“And me, what?”

“Listen, my tall, handsome friend, $50 may cover what I did or did not see, but I’m going to need a little extra to cover the things I heard.”

The blush heating my neck is slowly making its way up my face and I could melt into the floor when he quotes back to us, “‘I want to take my time and enjoy this meal’ Really? It isn’t everyday you get to fuck your girl in her mom’s bar, and it won’t be today either if I happen to go out there and slip up to Ellen.”

Dean digs $100 out of his wallet and places it in Ash’s hand, “Just forget we were ever in here.”

“Oh, this moment will live in my nightmares forever. But I won’t tell anyone what I saw, your secrets are always safe with Dr. Bad-Ass.” He says with a wink, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pretty lady waiting on me in my office.”

“Your fucking computer doesn’t count!” I yell as he bows out the door with a laugh, “How fuckin’ embarrassing.”

Dean snorts and I hear Jo yelling for help as the Roadhouse regulars start rolling in, “Get out there,” he says smacking my ass and pushing me toward the door, “I’ll steal ya on your break and we can do it in the parking lot.”

I grin and kiss his lips as I head out the door and behind the bar, “Your usual, Bobby?”

——-————————————————————————

A/N: A fun one for Jacklesverse Bingo! I’m working on Part 2 of Don’t call Me and should hopefully have it out tomorrow! 🫶🏼

Taglist: @lmhf1 @whimsyfinny @k-slla

[positivebyler]

Murder Drones Incorrect Quotes

Uzi: Watcha got there..?

N: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: I am a responsible adult!

Doll: *raises brow*

Uzi: I am an adult

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: My favorite thing about big dogs is that when you push them over, they’re all like “Oh, I’m lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!”

Uzi: …whereas, when you push little dogs over, they’re all like, “Vengeance! Death before dishonor!”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Ah shit, I forgot.

N: Forgot what?

V: How do you expect me to answer that?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. 

N: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: V was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

V: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Uzi: V, you ate a chair.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Uzi: ….

Uzi: N, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

N: *Sips coffee from bowl*

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Change is inedible.

Uzi: Don't you mean inevitable?

V, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

J, talking to Tessa on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Tessa: You bet!

J: At what temperature?

Tessa: 535.

J: That's the clock.

Tessa: …

J: …

Tessa: 536.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: God, give me patience. 

J: I think you mean 'give me strength'. 

Uzi: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? 

Uzi: The car takes a screenshot. 

V: For the last time, get the fuck out.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me 

N: Okay, but in my defense, V bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. 

Uzi: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N, sweating: Uzi, there’s something I need to ask you- 

Uzi: Finally! You’re proposing! 

N: How’d you know? 

Uzi: N, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner. 

Uzi: I even picked it up once.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: Who hurt you?  Uzi: *snorting* What, do you want a list? 

N: ...Yes, actually.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: If I run and leap at N, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.  Uzi, running towards N: Coming in! 

N: No! I’m holding coffee! 

N: *Drops coffee and catches Uzi*

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: You have to apologize to them Uzi.  Uzi: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: We’ll get back into there or die trying.  Uzi: No one’s dying. 

V: Not with that attitude.

[popponn]

birthday and eel. (jade x reader)

“Happy birthday, Prefect,” Jade Leech said with a smile, his eyes closed in a crescent shape and in his hand a box was held. No matter how one saw it, he is fucking suspicious.

“…please bury me on a beautiful place, okay,” you sighed as your eyes landed on box, wondering if the inside was a bomb or a poison or maybe a straight up sea monster, because at this point who could guess when it came to this one senior of yours. He is insane, and quoting Floyd, “the scarier one”.

In the background, Grim screamed something about tuna cans as Ace and Deuce probably had started praying for you. You couldn’t hear them over the flashing flashbacks inside your head. You suppose your life was pretty nice.

As if he was ignorant to all your dilemmas, which you were sure he was not, Jade laughed out a sweet sound. Was it another person who you had not fight in front of a sea museum, you would had thought it was adorable. But this was Jade Leech, so you just wanted it to end faster at this point.

“I would never do that to you, Prefect,” Jade explained as he took a step closer to you. You wonder if you could try to book it now from the hallway to the Ramshackle dorm—before immediately realizing that you would only die painfully in the process.

“Really?” you asked, monotone and close to giving up, “I really think when it came to you, you will just say something about poetic death day on my birthday or something.”

“Fu fu, rest assured, I’m not Rook-san,” Jade chuckled, and you silently agreed with his statement, “Not to say, it would be a poor decision on my part to kill Azul’s object of affection and Floyd’s favorite company.”

From your back, you heard Deuce chocking on air. Rest in Peace, mabu.

“Azul-san will kill you if you said that, you know, if that’s even true,” you replied. Faintly, you could hear Grim asking Ace and Deuce what did Jade mean in a way a kid asked their parent about babies and where they came from. Good luck, Ace, Deuce.

Meanwhile, on Jade’s part, he merely let out another light chortles as he stopped on front of you. At least he was entertained, hopefully that pending your death if even for a minute.

“And also, I thought Ace is Floyd’s current favorite chew toy,” you continued, completely ignoring Ace’s squawk.

“Why,” Jade played a mockery of a disappointment, “How could you think that I jest, when I’m always serious when it came to you.”

Great Seven, you wanted to snort at that. But you also wanted to live a bit longer so you swallow it. You will just retell it to Leona later and make him snort hell and back. If you came out of this alive, though.

“Well, then, if you are truthful, why can I not see the two of them here? Afterall, I am the crush and the favorite, yet I’m seeing you instead who think of me as a boring nobody,” you huffed, challenging fate.

“Ah, are you still mad about that statement of mine?” Jade asked in a sad tone, smile unmoving, “As I said, you are now very interesting in my eyes, and I think this will continue for a quite long, long time.”

You tried to hide a shiver at that. You wanted to ask why he said ‘long’ in that tone, but instead you tried to smile politely, “Is that so? Does that mean right now Jade-senpai is the one who loves me the most?”

The three of your friends screamed something. Your self preservation also screamed something. Your regret too, but nonetheless, it was too late.

Jade’s expression immediately shifted into one of surprise. His lips for parted for a moment, as if he was at lost of words whilst a red hue creeped to his cheeks. On Benevolent Witch, you really hope your death will be painless.

Time froze for a moment, before it broke as Jade reached out for you with one of his hands and you were immediately pulled by the three of your friends.

“Prefect, get behind me!”

“Geez, can you not try to die for one day?!”

“Funnaa—the-the Great Grim won’t let you land a finger on my hench—e….eh?”

The panic on your friends’ face immediately ceased as it turned out that the hand that they thought was about to grasp—or choke—you was withdrawn and landed on Jade’s own face. He covered the lower part of his face, yet it was clear that he was embarrassed. You wanted to ask what happened, but Ace didn’t waste a moment to step on your foot as hard as he could.

You bit your lips, silently vowing revenge, but you pushed through, “Jade-senpai…?”

Your voice seems to take Jade back to the reality, he blinked several times before finally meeting your eyes again. His expression was instantly schooled into one of his nonchalant smile, even if a red coloring still remained on his ears, “Excuse me, it seems you have taken me off guard once again. Well, as we have talked long enough in the middle of hallway, I better wrap this up before Riddle-san came and scold all of us.”

Out of pure reflex and probably ingrained trauma, the two Heartslabyul dorm students let out a graceless sound. One that Vil would rate 2 out of 100. Yet, ignoring them, Jade once again brought himself closer to you and pushed the box unto your hand.

“…what is this?” you finally asked the box finally landed in your hands.

“A set of clothes that I think would suit you wonderfully,” Jade said, as if he didn’t just part Ace, Deuce, and Grim like a spoon in the middle of a shallow river, “While I think they are casual enough to wear on a daily basis, they are also very suitable to wear on a hiking trip.”

“Oh.” Why is that not surprising at all?

Jade yet again laughed as he ended his explanation, “Fu fu, I hope to see you soon on a mountain, Prefect. Don’t worry, I will gladly accompany you on one, even.”

Cheekily, you tried to try your destiny again, “Is that you asking me on a date, Senpai~?”

This time, Jade’s eyes remained on you as he smiled, unmoving, “If you wished it to be so, then I will happily comply.”

You awkwardly laughed as you averted your eyes elsewhere. Now he made it sounded like you were the one asking him out.

“Then, see you, Prefect,” Jade said, as he leaned down. You nearly took a step back, wasn’t it for the hands that appeared on your shoulder—his hands, gloved yet still oddly cold—stopping you and silencing the whole world for you. A breath and a whisper landed on your ear, “Have a happy birthday. Please do keep me entertained for this year too, understood?”

And a moment later, he was gone as you landed on the floor, losing every strength in your legs.

“Prefect, what the was that?! Also, breath! Breath! Blink!”

“Henchman, did he do something to you?! You haven’t moved for five minutes you know!”

“…..Prefect…..are the two of you…” Ace trailed off, eyeing you and the other two who were fussing over you on the floor, “……hitting it off….?”

As Deuce shouted, you fainted.

[ochrearia]

Youshould write BF showing Pico and GF the absolute dumbest videos. Like, they're incomprehensible and he's laughing the entire time he's showing them.

In PoPr Universe, so GF -> Cherry, BF -> Keith

"He's been giggling over the same fucking 14 second video for twenty minutes!" Pico shouted in exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air when Keith, the he in question, burst into cackles again at the thought. "It is NOT that funny of a video, you're off your ass."

"It's so fucking funny, what are you talking about?!" Keith shot back between his laughter. "Fucking... 'look the hype train'! Fuck you gay boy!" He cut himself off with more laughter.

Pico stared at his boyfriend with the most 'I'm so fucking over this' look he could muster, while Cherry sat idly by smiling in confusion. She wasn't actually sure what the hell either of them were talking about, but the rapper was laughing pretty hard and she was happy to hear it. Though maybe context would help. "Um... what's this video exactly?"

"Oh god you've enabled him. He's going to laugh for another twenty minutes because he's going to show you the video and watch it again himself." Pico sighed. "You've doomed us to about seven hundred more quotings of the video."

"I dunno, anything that lets me hear Biff's giggling for this long is a good thing in my book." Cherry snickered. "Don't act like you wouldn't agree, Peeks. You can pretend all you want but I know you're just as obsessed with hearing us laugh like we are about you."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Pico snipped, purposefully refusing to meet her eyes as a flush bloomed on his cheeks.

"Babe, babe come here- hah- Fucking look at this shit." Keith wheezed, holding his phone out to Cherry with the video playing. He devolved back into ridiculous deep belly laughter as the punch line of the video played again.

"I... can't say I fully get it, but yeah, I can see why that's funny." Cherry sighed with a handful of amused huffs. "I think I'd end up laughing more at your laughter though. You're so adorably infectious."

Keith was too busy laughing at this point to reply, grinning so hard that one of his giggles ended in a snort. Which triggered a chain reaction, causing Cherry to burst out laughing as well, completely incapacitated by giggles. Pico sighed exasperatedly, but both of them saw the losing battle he was experiencing with his own grin at their antics.

[joelalorian]

The Dog Days of Starting Over - Part Four

Joel Miller x f!reader | WC: 3792 |18+ MDNI | masterlist

Summary: Joel is hit with the loneliness of an empty nest when Sarah goes overseas for college. Her solution? Adopt a dog. That may just change Joel's life.

Series Tags/Warnings: 18+ mdni. Empty nester Joel. Loneliness and sadness. Humor. Cursing. Dog park shenanigans. Awkward flirting. Socialization for dog and human.

Series Masterlist

Part Three

Part Four

The clang of hammers and whirr of a power saw echoed through the construction trailer as Joel removed his hard hat and squinted at the latest set of plans. The third set this week. This finicky client was quickly becoming a pain in his ass with the constant changes. Who cares that the guy blew the budget to pieces three weeks ago?

No one but Joel, apparently.

Flopping back with a sigh, Joel ran a thick-fingered hand through his salt and pepper hair. This job was almost more trouble than it was worth. If the money weren’t so good, his crew would have walked off the site months ago. The swing of the trailer door opening drew his attention.

“You see your dog out there?” Tommy stepped through the door, hands on his hips and grinning like an idiot. Pointing through the still-open door, he added, “Out here actin’ like he’s runnin’ payroll and noting OSHA violations.”

Like a furry sentinel, Walter sat on the porch in his construction vest, ‘Safety Officer’ scrawled on the back in black marker. His tail swept the ground in slow, satisfied arcs as he watched the crew with narrowed eyes.

Joel huffed at the sight of his four-legged buddy. “He’s got more sense than half the crew.”

Tommy led the way back outside, squatting down to scratch behind Walter’s ears, which earned him a long yawn and a judgmental blink. “Well, he’s definitely got the resting bitch face down. Must run in the family.”

Joel stepped through the doorway with a snort. “Did you hunt me down just to bust my balls?”

Shrugging with a shit eating grin, Tommy drew out the word, “Perhaps.” The brothers stalked across the job site, Walter falling into a trot behind them. “A little birdie sent me a screenshot last night. Said you might’ve met someone at the dog park.”

Freezing mid-step, Joel’s shoulders stiffened slightly. “Jesus. Sarah tattled? I barely even mentioned anything.”

“Wouldn’t call it tattlin’,” Tommy said, drawing out the word with glee. “More like celebratin’. She said, and I quote: ‘He may have flirted… or panicked. Unclear. He did survive, though.’ She was happy for you, brother.”

Joel groaned, running a hand down his face. “Remind me to block her when I get home.”

Tommy laughed and nudged his shoulder. “Come on, man. This is good. A woman. A real, breathing, adult woman. Not just a barista who smiles at you outta pity.”

Joel shot him a look. That happened one time – ONE time – and Tommy never let it go. “Don’t start.”

“I’m just sayin’,” Tommy continued in true annoying little brother fashion, “it’s been a long damn time since you even thought about meetin’ someone. And now you’ve got this whole rugged-single-dad-who-has-his-life-together thing goin’. Women eat that shit up.”

“I don’t have my life together,” Joel scoffed.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You got a business, a house, a daughter in a fancy college, and a dog with a charming little construction vest. That’s basically a dating profile.”

Tommy’s grin was wide enough to annoy the shit out of Joel and he grumbled under his breath, bending to pick up a discarded tape measure. “Even if I wanted to see her again – which I haven’t decided, thank you very much – what the hell do I even say? ‘Hey, you seem nice. Sorry I’m awkward and might’ve stared too long.’”

Tommy crossed his arms, grinning like the smug bastard he was. “You do tend to stare.”

“I wasn’t starin’,” Joel replied with a pout. “I was observin’. Quietly.”

Walter barked once like he agreed, then flopped down on a pile of drop cloths. Joel sighed, watching the beagle settle in for what would undoubtedly be a union-mandated nap.

“Y’know what?” he muttered. “Forget it. We’re goin’ Saturday morning. If she’s there, fine. If not, I’ll throw the ball for Walter, and we’ll go home.”

“Does he even know how to play fetch?” Tommy glanced at Walter doubtfully.

“Beats me. Guess we’ll find out.”

It was nearing quitting time and Joel turned to walk away, Tommy’s boisterous voice flowing over his shoulder. “Hey! Maybe you’ll get sat on this time instead of Walter!”

Joel flipped him the bird without looking back. Fucking asshole.

The early morning sun had just started warming the dew-speckled grass when you settled onto your usual bench near the back fence, large fountain Diet Coke in hand and Penelope at your feet. She watched the open field with extreme focus, tail twitching, ready to bolt at the first sign of a squirrel or bird.

“Good morning!” said Maya, a sassy golden retriever mom with a Starbucks addiction and a collection of leggings louder than her dog’s bark. She leaned against the fence next to where you sat, eyes scanning the parking lot. “Tell us more about this hot, grumpy DILF from the other day.”

“Yes, please! I’ve been dying for the hot goss,” Denise replied. Her black lab mix was already rolling in a mud puddle leftover from the overnight sprinkle. “I heard he had that look. You know the one? All broody and rugged, yet adorably gentle when he talks to his dog. I need to see it for myself. Like, sir, please crush me emotionally and physically.”

You hid a smile by sipping at your soda. The thought of seeing that man again – fuck, how you wished you asked for his name, his number, anything – had your spirits soaring.

Maya turned to you with a raised brow. “You talked to him, right?”

You tried to play it cool, feeling bad about gossiping. “A little. He seemed… nice.”

The other women waited not so patiently for more, and when it didn’t come, they groaned. “Come on, girl! You gotta give us something juicy!”

You hesitated, unsure how deep into this hole you wanted to dig. “He’s got this voice. All gravel and warmth, like if whiskey and honey could talk. You can practically feel it sliding over your skin.”

The women swooned.

“He has a sense of humor, too. He told Ruth to see for herself if his dog was neutered.” You shrugged, cheeks warming as you thought of some of the other things you noticed about him. “He seemed sweet. A little unsure. And the way he and his dog are together? So cute. He talks to him like he’s a grumpy toddler who doesn’t listen.”

Just then, the metal gate creaked open, and a pile of dogs gathered in front of it to greet the latest arrival. You turned, trying not to be obvious as Joel stepped through. Walter followed, decked out in a ridiculous but adorable blue bandana that read Certified Good Boy.

Maya leaned in. “Oh shit, there he is! And he’s lookin’ over here!”

The brooding pinch of his brow twitched as he spotted you, the hard line of his lips melting into a shy half smile.

“Omg, girl. He’s totally staring at you. Go say hi or something!” Denise urged.

You stood, your hand moving in an awkward half wave, which he returned. He made his way over to your bench, looking like he wasn’t sure if he’d be welcomed or devoured by the gaggle of giggling women. Dressed in well-worn jeans and a flannel with the sleeves rolled up, he looked like something straight out of one of your wet dreams.

“Hey,” you greeted with a genuine smile, heart already beating its way up your throat. “You made it.”

He nodded. “Yeah, figured I’d take your advice and try the calm crowd.” Walter sniffed the ground as his dad spoke, snorting at Penelope before he dramatically sat on his foot.

“Hey, buddy. Good to see you, too.” You patted Walter’s head, scratching that perfect spot behind his floppy ears. When you looked up, Denise gave you a look that screamed, “Introduce us now!”

“Oh!” you said quickly, “I never got your name the other day. This is Maya and Denise, their four-legged chaos makers are running around over there.” The ladies preened under his gaze, and you waited until he turned that melted chocolate gaze back to you to give him your name.

“It’s nice to meet y’all,” he replied. “Name’s Joel, and this grumpy guy is Walter.”

“The pleasure’s ours, believe me,” Maya simpered with all the charm of someone already planning a life with a man she just met. You caught the faintest twitch of Joel’s mouth. Not quite a smile, but close, like he was fighting against it.

“Well,” you said, trying to ignore the way your dog park friends ogled Joel, “you picked a good day. No one’s peed on my shoes yet.”

Joel chuckled, his eyes shifting down your form, lingering for a few beats longer than necessary. God, his gaze could melt an iceberg. “Ah, well, the day is young.”

The giggles coming from the others were obnoxious, if you did say so yourself. Before you could think of anything to say, Maya pounced.

“So, Joel,” she said, drawing out his name in a too sweet voice. “Have a seat and tell us about yourself. Are you new in town?”

Despite yourself, you sat on the edge of your seat, as eager as the other women to learn more about this handsome man.

Joel’s dark eyes flashed around the group. “I’m local, actually. Been here a long time, but I’m new to the dog park scene.”

“Ahh,” Denise chimed in, leaning forward eagerly. “Where have you been hiding? Don’t tell me you’re one of those fishin’ all day, drink all night types who talks about nothing but football.”

Joel’s mouth twitched. “More of a construction site before dawn, don’t talk to me until after my third cup of coffee type. Though I don’t mind the occasional fishing trip or football on Sundays.”

You tried not to smile, but Joel’s voice had that deep, gravelly drawl that made sarcasm sound pleasant to the ear. He glanced around the circle of curious women, one brow quirked, clearly clocking the fact that he was outnumbered and under examination.

“Well, your dog’s adorable,” Maya said brightly. “You should bring him around more often. What’s his name again? Wally?”

“Walter,” Joel corrected in a rumbling voice.

“Walter,” Denise repeated as if tasting how it rolled off her tongue. She didn’t want to be outdone by Maya in the over-the-top flirting department. “Very regal. Like he should own a cigar lounge or something.”

You covered your mouth to hide your laugh, but Joel’s glance flicked to you, amused. Remaining silent, you lost yourself in those dark eyes until the shameless flirts interrupted once again.

“So, Joel, what do you do at construction sites before dawn? Besides winning the award for Deepest Voice, of course.” Denise swirled her overpriced metal water bottle, feigning nonchalance while practically salivating over every tiny morsel of detail about him. You briefly wondered if she had a mimosa hidden in there the way she sipped at it.

Your cheeks warmed. That explained why his ‘Scuse me, ma’am’ from the other day sent a chill down your spine and lived rent-free in your mind. That voice was sinfully delicious.

“I run a construction company,” he said, drawing you out of your thoughts. “Residential, mostly, but we’ve done a few smaller commercial gigs as well.”

“Oh, so you’re good with your hands?” Maya immediately interjected.

Jesus Christ, these women were shameless!

Joel offered her a flat look. “I get by.”

“Any pets besides Walter?” Denise asked, undeterred.

“Nope. Just me and him.”

Joel’s replies were becoming more clipped, terse and you could see his discomfort rising. Still, the girls continued.

“Married? Divorced? Widowed?” Maya asked with the casualness of ordering a sandwich instead of conducting an interrogation.

Your eyes went wide. “Maya!”

“What?” she questioned with a dismissive wave of her hand. “We need context about our new friend.”

Fucking vultures.

To his credit, Joel shot you a grateful glance before replying in that calm, gruff voice. “Divorced. Long time ago.”

You caught the flicker of something guarded but not raw in his burnt umber eyes. There was a story there and part of you ached to know it. Before anyone could pry any further, two figures wandered over to rescue him – Chuck and Rico, the self-appointed park dads of the weekend crew.

Chuck, a man nearly as wide as he was tall with a shaved head and Boston accent, gave a low whistle as he came to a stop next to the picnic table. “Whoa, what’s all this? Ladies got you on the interrogation mat, my guy?”

Joel huffed a short chuckle. “Feels more like a job interview, just not quite sure what the role is.”

“My next husband, obviously,” Denise muttered under her breath and you nearly choked on a sip of your soda.

Rico snorted. “Sounds about right. These ladies can be brutal, brother. Which one’s yours?” The younger man’s blue eyes roved over the dogs scattered about.

As if on cue, Walter let out a loud groan and dropped dramatically onto his side, flinging one paw over his face.

“Ahh, that’d be the one, I reckon,” Rico laughed.

“That’s Walter,” you chirped, introducing the men and their dogs. “Chuck’s golden, Boomer, is the park’s designated hugger. He’ll knock you over to get one if you’re not careful. And Rico’s dog Tango will nibble Walter’s ears if he likes them.”

“Ear nibbling? Kinky,” Joel teased with a raised brow and his eyes on you, drawing laughs from the group. You swore the ladies swooned. Who were you kidding, you totally swooned, too, with the way he gazed at you.

“Yup, it’s weirdly affectionate. My other one is the one to worry about though.” Rico pointed across the way where an over-excited ball of energy exploded toward them in a frenzy of fur and tennis ball obsession. The collie mix dropped a ball directly at Joel’s feet, staring up at him with laser focus.

“That’s Chaos and she’s fetch-obsessed,” you said helpfully.

“She’s possessed,” Chuck corrected.

Joel stared down at the ball, visibly cringing at the state of the thing. “Am I supposed to throw that?” You practically melted in your seat when he turned those warm brown eyes on you again, his brows pulled in and up in the cutest expression.

“Unless you want her to start barking at you like you owe her money,” you advised, ignoring the hint of shakiness in your voice.

Joel gave the ball a lazy toss, wiping his hand on his jean-clad thigh as Chaos shot off after it. Walter lifted his head, watched her sprint for a second, then lay back down with the dramatic energy of a man who’d seen too much.

“Smart guy,” Joel muttered to the dog.

Much to your relief, the others had begun drifting into side conversations, giving Joel a break from the unwanted interrogation and letting the two of you slip back into your own quiet bubble of banter. Joel still gave off an air of uncertainty, like he hadn’t quite decided if this place was welcoming or slightly cultish, but at least he hadn’t run screaming yet.

“Glad you came back,” you said gently, your lips naturally forming into an endearing smile when you gazed at him.

Joel met your gaze with a warm half smile gracing his lips, the scruff of his beard glinting in the morning sun. “Yeah. Me too.”

“Sorry about Maya and Denise,” you offered. “They get carried away but are generally harmless. I have a feeling they’re fighting over who gets to ask for your number.”

A chuckle rumbled from his chest, low and deep, causing a pleasant flutter in your belly. “Women like that would eat me alive. Ain’t no way I’m givin’ either of ‘em my phone number.”

“No doubt,” you laughed, unexpectedly pleased that he had no interest in the others. It gave you the courage to ask, “You want to take a lap around the park with me?”

“Sure,” Joel agreed, getting up from his seat to walk beside you. Walter and Penelope fell in step behind you both, trotting together like they were best friends.

“Been awhile since I got outta the house and talked to other people outside of work, my brother, and my daughter.” That deep, rumbling voice softened at the mention of his daughter, pulling at your heart.

“You have a daughter?” you asked, fully invested in learning more about this man.

“Yeah,” he admitted softly. “Sarah. She’s nineteen, going on thirty-five. Smart as a whip. Studyin’ abroad in England this year and I miss the shit outta that girl.”

Your eyes widened, soaking in the subtle changes in his expression as he spoke. “That’s amazing. I always wanted to visit England, London especially.”

Joel nodded, but his smile turned a little bittersweet. “Yeah, it is. I’m proud of her. But… house is too dam quiet and I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s been just the two of us for so long. That’s half the reason I got Walter. Figured he’d bark at squirrels or somethin’ and fill the silence.”

Your heart gave a small, empathetic squeeze. You understood that bone deep loneliness all too well. You glanced at Walter, who was currently squinting into the grass, sniffing at individual blades like he was solving a crime.

“He seems like a great partner in crime,” you said trying to lessen the melancholic turn to the conversation.

Joel smiled faintly, his dark eyes saying more than his words. “He is. Doesn’t talk much, but he’s got strong opinions.”

You both laughed for a moment, your steps slowing to a near stop for no reason.

“I’m sorry you’re missing her,” you offered gently.

Joel tilted his head, a little surprised at your kindness but grateful, nonetheless. “Thanks. I… wasn’t expectin’ that to hit as hard as it did.”

You nodded, your hand aching to reach for him in comfort. “I kind of get that. I lost my job last month. Whole department got restructured. I’ve been in this weird limbo ever since – like I forgot how to function without a job.”

Joel looked over at you, something in his expression shifting. “That’s rough.”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m lucky in a lot of ways, but still… I don’t know. I’ve been a little lost lately.”

Joel cleared his throat, seeming a little unsure about what to say next. You let the moment rest between you until he finally spoke again.

“I, uh… was wonderin’. Would you maybe want to grab coffee sometime? Just us. No dogs. Or, I mean, with the dogs, if you’d like. I’d just like to see you again, away from the dog park.” He brushed a hand along the back of his neck, clearly anxious as his cheeks pinkened.

Gah, the man was utterly endearing.

You smiled, warmth blooming in your chest. “I’d like that. A lot.”

Joel let out a quiet exhale, like he’d been holding his breath without realizing. “Cool,” he said, head bobbing in a nod as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Cool.”

Penelope barked once as if in approval and Walter gave a gruff huff of agreement.

“Well,” you said with a laugh, “looks like it’s a unanimous vote.”

That evening, Joel stretched out on the couch, bare feet propped on the coffee table, a worn blanket knitted by his grandmother when he was a child spread across his lap to take the edge off the crisp breeze blowing through the open windows. Walter was curled up next to him, his personal furry space heater, snoring with each rise and fall of his barrel chest. The house – the entire neighborhood – was quiet, save for the hum of the refrigerator and occasional pops and snaps of the fresh cut wood in the fireplace.

He hadn’t even bothered turning on the television, instead enjoying the silence for the first time in his life.

Joel’s phone buzzed on the side table as he took a sip of the decadent amber liquid from the aged glass in his hand. The liquid burned down his throat in that old familiar way as he checked the phone.

Sarah: So… did you see her again???

He shook his head with a quiet chuckle and typed out a reply with his oversized thumbs.

Joel: Yeah. We walked a lap at the park. Talked. I met some of her dog park friends.

Sarah: Dad! DID YOU ASK HER OUT OR JUST STARE AT HER SHOES AGAIN???

Joel: Asked her out for coffee. She said yes. Smiled even.

Sarah: Fucking brilliant! I’m so proud. My dear old dad, flirting in the wild. I should have made you a Tinder profile before I left.

Joel groaned, rolling his eyes so hard it nearly gave him a headache.

Joel: Imma wash your mouth out with soap when I see you.

Sarah: You’re adorable, old man. Did you brush your hair? Wear clean jeans? Use your manners? Did Walter wear his vest?

Joel glanced down at his couch buddy who was still snoozing. Walter’s vest had been tossed on a hook by the door, slightly grass stained and dusty. He needed to wash that thing, come to think of it.

Joel: Walter was the real star, as always. No vest, but he wore a bandana. I just tried not to say anything stupid.

Sarah: Low bar. But I’m genuinely proud of you Dad. For real. You’re a good bloke and it’s time people notice.

Joel stared at the message a few seconds longer than he meant to, his heart fit to burst from his chest with all the love he held for this kid.

Joel: Thanks Babygirl. That means a lot.

Sarah: So what’s her name?? Are you gonna tell me or do I have to fly home and interrogate Walter?

Joel snorted loudly, disturbing Walter’s well-deserved snooze fest, and earned himself a death stare from the grumpy pup.

Joel: All in due time, kid. I don’t want to scare her off yet with bad juju.

Sarah: I don’t know if that makes you a coward or a very smart man. Love you to pieces, old man.

Joel: Back atcha Babygirl. Get to bed, it’s late over there.

He smiled down at the phone, chuckling at the mean-faced emoji Sarah sent before setting it facedown on the armrest. Walter snuffled and stretched, kicking Joel before allowing one paw to flop over his knee.

“You and me, bud,” Joel murmured, rubbing behind the beagle’s ears. “Guess we’ve got a date.”

Walter let out a sleepy groan and farted in response.

Joel grimaced, waving a hand in front of his face to disperse the stink. “Right. I’ll handle the conversation. You just look cute.”

tbc

Part Five

taglist: @milla-frenchy, @noisynightmarepoetry, @bunnymami13, @lillaydee, @missladym1981@therewastherewas@joelmillerpascal@baronessvonglitter @ashleyfilm @okiegal68 @mallingcalling-blog

[wordingg]

Christmas Bonus - Chapter 2

Summary: Tim and Jason get snowed in and talk about everything and nothing. And, play Resident Evil 4.

Tim put Jason in the master bedroom upstairs after the cookies and coffee were gone. And, of course, only once he was done extracting his pound of flesh from Jason's dignity.

Jason had tried to leave, but Tim pointed out the steadily thickening layer of snow on the walk and on top of Jason's motorcycle.

"It looks pretty now, but until the road crews get out and clear it, it's way too dangerous to drive. Especially on a motorcycle."

Jason snorted, "I'm not an amateur, Tim. I know how to drive in the snow."

Part of Tim wanted to start regurgitating statistics at Jason to justify his concern. He imagined telling Jason 'Motorcycles account for only 3.5% of all registered vehicles and only 0.6% of all vehicle miles traveled, but motorcyclists account for 14% of all traffic fatalities and 17% of all occupant (driver and passenger) fatalities.' He also imagined how quickly that would turn the conversation down a road that he didn't want it going down. Unfortunately, Tim had learned the hard way that quoting things at people tended to put them on the defensive.

So, Tim didn't say what he wanted to say about Jason's supposed ability to control a motorcycle in a blizzard. But, whatever face he made as he swallowed down his thoughts must have communicated something to Jason, because he gave up the fight to leave easily enough.

"Fine. Fuck. Whatever," he grumbled and allowed himself to be set up with a bed and a spare toothbrush.

Tim laid down on the foam mattress by the wood stove and watched the snow fall through the window. He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep, that his mind would spin and spin with all the revelations Jason had carried with him and dumped on his kitchen floor.

But, his mind felt quiet and his body felt calm and heavy. Within minutes, he was asleep.

When Tim woke up, it was to the same dull gray sunlight that had struggled through the heavy cloud cover the day before. Looking outside, he saw the snow still falling steadily. In fact, it was falling so thickly that Jason's motorcycle was already half submerged in snow.

Tim considered waking Jason. He did. He made it all the way upstairs in his thick woolen socks and to the bedroom door, so you can't say he didn't think about waking him up.

But then he thought about motorcycle mortality rates again. And, he thought about Jason going back home to spend Christmas with an alien clone and an Amazonian who, were surely lovely people, but probably thought Christmas was invented by a Coke commercial. And, he thought about himself laying on the floor of his farmhouse and reading scifi novels and trying to choke down eggnog and he changed his mind.

Jason was obviously tired. He would let him sleep in. Like the good, kind caring younger brother that Dick always insisted that he was. Yes. Exactly.

Some time around noon, Jason finally stumbled downstairs looking rumpled but well rested and wearing the jeans and white t-shirt he had on the day before. He smelled a little bit like stale sweat and toothpaste and his hair looked like he had just tried to walk through a wind tunnel. He smiled sleepily at Tim, who was bundled up in a thick comforter with a Game Cube controller in his hand and then looked out the window.

His smile dropped off his face. Tim stood up to look out the window. The snow was up to the handlebars of Jason's motorcycle.

"Shit!" Jason spat, throwing open the front door. A small curl of snow fell inside and Jason danced away from it, cussing more as the snow coated his toes.

"They're saying on the radio that it's a historic blizzard," Tim said with a tilt of his head.

"Goddammit," Jason groaned, shutting the door on the snow still falling outside and leaning his forehead against the aged wood.

Tim stood a few feet behind him and tried not to fidget. Then, he remembered that there wasn't any particular reason not to fidget, and began chewing on his chapped lips. He looked down at his hands and began to pick at his cuticles. They were dry and peeling. He pulled on a corner of his thumbnail too hard and blood began to well up, a throb of pain belatedly following it.

"Hey," Jason said, drawing Tim's attention away from his hands. When he looked up, Jason's forehead was still pressed against his front door, but he didn't look like he was two seconds away from popping his top. "Guess I'm stuck here," Jason said slowly.

"Yeah," Tim said, watching and waiting.

It was Jason's turn to fidget, though his fidgeting looked more like shoving his hands in the pockets of his worn out jeans and shifting his weight impatiently from foot to foot.

"If you don't want me here, I can call someone…?" Jason said slowly.

"No!" Tim said quickly. "I mean. Unless you've got to be somewhere. I'd understand."

And now Jason was tilting his head at Tim. Tim wondered if it was a Robin thing, a bird trait passed from sad orphan to sad orphan.

"What are you playing?" Jason asked.

Tim blinked. It was such a non-sequitur it took him a second to realize what Jason was asking about. His eyebrow raising toward his hairline, Tim turned to look back over his shoulder at the little clunky CRT TV sitting on top of a milk crate by his mattress. It was on the pause screen, the purple Game Cube controller tossed carelessly on top of his blanket nest.

"Resident Evil 4," Tim answered.

"Oh, sick," Jason said with a lopsided grin. "That's the zombie one, right?"

It wasn't possible for Tim's eyebrows to go higher, but he sure tried. "Yes, that's the zombie one," he said dryly.

"Can I watch?" Jason asked, his grin firmly in place, though it looked a little stiff and uncertain to Tim's observant eye.

"Yeah," Tim said, still a little bewildered.

Jason shadowing his steps, Tim returned to his mattress and his controller. He tried to smooth out the blankets and pillows to make room for Jason to sit down. But, he more than made himself at home, pulling out an especially soft brown blanket and wrapping it around his shoulders before collapsing into a crossed leg pose beside Tim.

Tim turned the game back on and began navigating his character around a sad dilapidated vaguely eastern European looking town all painted in drab brown and gray tones. He had only just started the game, after deliberating back and forth on if he should for hours. He had expected Jason to sleep in a lot longer, but he had woken up only ten minutes after Tim started the game.

On the softly buzzing screen, old bent over people shuffled along the dirt streets and Tim kept his character, Leon, hidden behind the corners of buildings to avoid alerting them.

"This brings back memories," Jason said after watching for a few minutes. Tim glanced at him before looking back to the screen and Jason took that as permission to continue. "When I was a kid, there was a family down the hall that had a Nintendo 64. Every day after school we would all cram into this tiny bedroom and take turns playing. Juan only had like two games for it, but we never got bored somehow."

Tim frowned at the screen, imagining a tiny Jason with a gap toothed grin and scabbed knees crowded around a tiny screen just like the one he was looking at along with a group of other kids who looked just like him.

Tim was playing the Game Cube just for fun, because he had found it at a thrift store and thought it would be a fun way to pass the time. Jason had waited patiently to play a twenty year old console when he was a kid because that was probably one of the few safe activities he could do after school.

On screen, one of the villagers noticed Tim and they all started to swarm him.

"Shit," he bit out, trying to navigate Leon around corners and through broken out windows to avoid the swarm, slowing down to take head shots at any NPC that got too close.

Jason laughed as Tim finally got pinned in a corner and shot wildly into the crowd of old people who were reaching for him. It didn't matter though. Finally, the death scene played, a pre-recorded visual of a villager cutting Leon's head off with a chainsaw. As Leon fell to the ground, newly headless, blood splashed over the screen and deep voice said "YOU ARE DEAD" as the same words appeared on the screen.

"Ugh," Tim groaned, tossing down the controller.

"Can I try?" Jason asked, still grinning.

"Be my guest," Tim said with a shrug, though internally he was excited to see Jason get absolutely creamed by this game.

The game picked back up outside the village and Jason immediately trotted into the middle of town. Tim bit his lip to stop from laughing at him as the villagers immediately began to swarm him.

"Shit," Jason grunted, fumbling with the controller as he struggled to shoot and run at the same time. "Shit, why is this so hard?" he snapped as he was quickly overwhelmed and sat through the same death scene they had just seen.

"Resident Evil 4 and 5 have tank controls," Tim explained with a lopsided smile. "They were popular in horror games from around this time. Makes it hard to move and shoot at the same time. Like a tank."

Tim took the controller back and began working his way carefully through the village again, being careful to avoid the villagers.

"Right, so, what you're saying is it's a skill issue," Jason said with a snort.

Tim barked out a laugh, surprised to hear Jason take a shot at himself, but pleased about it all the same.

"Nah, they're supposed to be unwieldy," Tim said, throwing Jason a bone. "It ratchets up the tension."

"It sure does," Jason grumbled, but he was still smiling.

They spent most of the morning like that, trading the controller back and forth as they slowly made their way through the game at a glacial pace. Tim had been pretty good at video games, once upon a time. But, obviously that skill had atrophied over time. Not that it bothered him. It was fun to play with Jason and make fun of each others failures and cheer each other's successes.

By the time it was noon, the snow hadn't let up. The cloud cover was like a thick blanket over the sky completely obscuring the sun and leaving them in an eternal gray blue twilight. Thick snowflakes still fell steadily, thought it was hard to tell how much was piling up unless you looked out the front door to see how many of the front steps had disappeared beneath the snow.

Tim reheated leftovers for lunch for the both of them (baked chicken, macaroni and cheese and roasted asparagus). Jason was ravenous, consuming all of his food and all of Tim's leftovers.

"Did you really make all this?" he asked in amazement as he scooped the last of Tim's pasta onto his fork while Tim went searching for something else to feed Jason. He sure seemed like he was still hungry. He knew Jason probably didn't live the way that he had before he had left Gotham, but the amount of muscle mass he carried around had to burn through a ridiculous amount of calories even when he was resting.

"Yeah," Tim answered, distracted. "Just simple stuff, but it's nice to make things the way you like them without worrying about macros or protein or whatever, you know?"

Jason snorted in reply. "Don't I know it. No offense to Bruce and Alfred, but I think I'd rather eat shoe leather than suck down another one of those green protein smoothie things."

Tim grimaced, glad that he was facing into a cabinet where Jason wouldn't see it. He too was put on those nasty green smoothies when he was first training as Robin. Supposedly it contained everything his body needed to get stronger fast, but it had tasted like grass that a dog had vomited on the floor.

"I gave Steph the recipe, back when we were just starting out, you know?" Tim said, coming back to the table with a box of crackers and a container of cheese dip. "She used to get muscle cramps and sprains all the time back then."

"Did it help?" Jason asked, immediately ripping into the crackers and dip.

Tim shrugged. "I don't really know if the smoothies helped or if she just pushed through it eventually and grew the muscle to support kicking ass all night long."

"She's tough," Jason said wryly, his face seeming to indicate he didn't think this was a good thing.

"She is," Tim insisted, giving Jason a stern look that he completely missed because he was too busy trying to shove three cheese crackers into his mouth at once.

After Jason finally chewed and swallowed, he said, "She misses you, you know."

Tim had to look away quickly, guilt clenching in his stomach and sending bile up the back of his throat. Steph didn't deserve his radio silence anymore than Alfred had. But, he had gone so long without talking to her or Cass or any of his old friends that it felt too late to start now.

"I know," Tim said quietly, not able to bring himself to look up at Jason.

Jason continued to plow through Tim's crackers silently for a while.

"She's the reason I'm here. If she hadn't bullied me into going to the Christmas party yesterday, I never would have ended up on your front porch," Jason said.

"You guys are getting along?" Tim asked, finally looking up at Jason and raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'd even say we're friends," Jason said, raising an eyebrow of his own back at Tim, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the fine dusting of cracker crumbs all of his mouth and fingers.

"I'm not surprised by that," Tim's mouth twitched up at the corner. "You two have a lot in common."

"Like what? Being poor and angry all the time?" Jason asked, something spiteful coming into his hazel eyes.

"Maybe so. But, I was thinking more about how stubborn, determined and resourceful you both are," Tim replied blandly.

Jason blinked at him in surprise and whatever spite had come into him dissolved. He ate another cracker.

"Why don't you call her?" Jason asked.

Tim looked away again.

"Did you fight with Steph before you left?" Jason asked curiously.

"No," Tim mumbled. "Not with Steph or with Cass."

"They're worried about you," Jason said.

"I know," Tim sighed. "I just didn't want to put them in a position to have to keep a secret from everyone else for me."

"Well," Jason said slowly. "Now you don't have to worry about that. I think the only person still talking to Bruce is Dick, and I'm not even that sure about that."

Tim frowned down at his lap. He picked at his fingers. The edges of his fingernails were ragged and bitten down. He pulled at the corner of one ragged nail.

"I'll think about it," he muttered.

After lunch, he and Jason went back to the living room and kept working on Resident Evil. They played for hours, the tense atmosphere from lunch dissolving as they worked together to overcome the challenges set before them. Tim knew the general story of Resident Evil 4, but Jason obviously didn't, and it was fun to watch him get so invested in the story.

"Who is that lady!? She can't just swing in and out of the story whenever she feels like it!" Jason bitched while Ada disappeared yet again after delivering exactly the help Leon needed to get out of a tough situation.

They stopped for dinner once the light outside the window started to dim. Tim pulled a frozen casserole out of the freezer that one of the neighbor ladies had kindly given him last week. He anticipated that Jason's appetite would still be formidable and he wasn't wrong. Just the two of them easily blew through half the casserole, though Jason definitely did most of the heavy lifting.

After dinner, Tim turned the light on the front porch on and for the first time since the day before there was no snow falling from the sky.

"Hey, it finally stopped," Jason said from behind Tim, making him jump a little. It was unfair that such a huge guy could move so silently.

"Yeah. We can start digging out tomorrow," Tim replied.

"Ugh," said Jason.

"Ugh," said Tim in commiseration.

They went back to their video game.

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, Jason passed out on Tim's mattress. Tim didn't have the heart to wake him up and tell him to go upstairs. Instead, he shut down the game and turned off the TV. He tossed the fuzzy blanket Jason was so fond of over him and curled up in his own quilt on the other side of the mattress.

After Tim turned the lamp off, the only light came from the dark orange embers glowing through the window in the wood stove door. Tim looked at Jason's profile as his eyes adjusted to the dark and turned their conversation from lunch over and over in his head.

It was wild to think that he was currently sharing a bed with Jason Todd, the man (boy?) who had tried to kill him a few years ago. But, then, what about his life hadn't been absolutely wild since he took on the title of Robin?

Bruce and Dick had always been insistent that Jason wasn't his brother, wasn't part of the family, after the way he had betrayed him. But, Tim couldn't help noticing that Jason filled the role pretty well. He had sat beside him and played video games while snow piled up outside, like they were in a Campbell's soup commercial or something. He had given him advice, but hadn't pushed him and probably wouldn't bring it up again if Tim decided not to take it.

Why couldn't he call Steph? Why couldn't he text Cass?

If Jason was telling the truth and Bruce was on the outs with everyone, he could risk reaching out without putting them in an awkward spot.

And, didn't that thought put his stomach in knots. Some old childlike part of Tim wanted so desperately to sweep back into Gotham and fix Bruce's relationships with all the other bats. A little voice that sounded suspiciously like his thirteen year old self whispered that they just didn't understand him, didn't understand the pressure he was under, didn't understand that his intentions were good even if the way he went about things was wrong.

Tim pressed his face into his pillow and tried to swallow those thoughts down.

He wasn't thirteen anymore and Bruce was an adult who didn't need someone else to play referee every time he has to interact with another human being.

Tim's mind spun in circles for a while, his eyes growing dry and scratchy, his neck and jaw aching with tension as he cycled through forcing them to relax before they steadily tightened up again.

Some time before dawn he must have fallen asleep, though it wasn't very restful. It felt like he blinked and suddenly it was morning. Buttery yellow sunlight streamed through the windows and the smell of pancakes wafted in from the kitchen. The fire had burnt down during the night, so Tim took the time to add another log before going to the kitchen to investigate.

Jason was at the stove, expertly flipping pancakes onto a platter. He turned to grin at Tim's half asleep expression.

"Aw, look at you. You look like you slept like shit," he laughed.

"Fuck you," Tim said by reflex. "You're making pancakes?" he said after a second of staring, his brain still coming online.

"We're gonna need the carbs if we're gonna shovel a metric fuckton of snow," Jason said with a grimace, shaking another pancake from the pan and onto the plate.

They ate a fuckton of pancakes to match the truly metric fuckton of snow they ended up shoveling that day.

"This is slave labor," Jason panted, opening the heavy coat Tim had lent him and flapping it in the freezing air to try and dry the sweat clinging to his back and pits.

"This is Pennsylvania," Tim grumbled miserably as he steadily dug a path from the front porch to Jason's stupid motorcycle.

It was slow going, but eventually they excavated both Jason's motorcycle and Tim's shitty pickup truck. They stood surveying the long path down Tim's driveway to the main road (which was mercifully cleared by snow plows). Before they had to start brainstorming how exactly they were going get the drive cleared, Tim's neighbor came by with a plow attached to the front of her tractor.

"Mrs. Cleary!" he shouted, waving wildly at her

"Heya!" she called cheerily, looking tiny in a huge quilted coat, her curled white hair tucked under a cap and her hooked nose just barely clearing the top of a fuzzy scarf. "I thought you might need some help digging out!" she called with a laugh.

It was almost a religious experience, the feeling of relief that came over both Tim and Jason as they watched Tim's thoughtful elderly neighbor deftly plow his driveway.

After she was done, Tim and Jason both thanked her effusively. When Tim introduced Jason haltingly as his brother, Mrs. Cleary really turned on the charm.

"Tim is such a lovely neighbor and such a nice young man. I'd love to have you both over for coffee sometime," she said, holding Jason's big calloused hands in her small knobbly ones.

Jason seemed sincerely touched and smiled and agreed. There was a lot of smiling and 'aw shucks, ma'am' and Tim felt a little disoriented seeing what he imagined was a glimpse of the charming teenager Jason used to be.

Finally, Mrs. Cleary got back on her tractor to go dig out some more of her neighbors and Tim and Jason were left alone with each other.

Jason rubbed at the back of his head while he considered his motorcycle, still crusted with snow. "Guess I'm clear to head back now."

Tim frowned at the motorcycle, at the gravel driveway still packed with snow, at the glistening asphalt of the road beyond and the promise of black ice that hid there.

"Maybe I should drive you," Tim said slowly.

"You don't have to do that," Jason quickly protested.

"It's not safe to drive a motorcycle in these conditions," Tim protested back.

Jason scoffed. "Come on, Tim. We both know that driving on icy roads are some of the least risky things we've done."

Tim frowned more, still looking at the road. "It's one thing to take a big risk to save someone else's life. It's another thing to take a big risk when you don't have to."

When he glanced at Jason, he was rubbing the back of his head again, looking awkward.

"Let me drive you," Tim offered again.

"Just to the state line?" Jason asked.

"If the roads are clear by then," Tim agreed with a tilt of his head.

The roads were, in fact, not at all clear by the time Tim's pickup truck reached the Delaware state line.

"I can't ask you to drive me all the way into Gotham," Jason protested while Tim drove past the big blue sign that said 'You Are Leaving Pennsylvania'.

"We're already most of the way there," Tim said casually, despite the way he was gripping the steering wheel hard with both hands. He worried that if he didn't, they would start to shake and then Jason would notice and if Jason noticed he would definitely lose his nerve.

Briefly, Jason glanced into the truck bed behind them, where his bike was carefully ratcheted into place. It hadn't moved, despite the snow and the highway and the way that Tim's truck bounced and rocked with every pothole and badly patched spot in the road.

"If you're sure," he said slowly, then didn't say anymore.

As they got closer to Gotham, things started to look familiar. Tim had mostly grown up in the suburbs around Gotham, even if he spent most of his nights in the city itself. He recognized all the exits on the interstate, was assaulted by memories of outings with friends and cases he worked as Robin as he drove further and further into the city.

Oddly, he felt himself relaxing rather than tensing as they drove further into the city. Tim knew Gotham like the back of his hand. It was easy to navigate the one way streets and the intersections as Jason directed him to his nearest safe house.

He wasn't sure why he had been nervous in the first place. Gotham had been home for so long, it wasn't like it stopped being that just because he had been gone for a while.

Finally, they reached an alley behind a stretch of duplexes on the edge of the city. Jason directed him to park behind one of them and jumped out. Tim followed, though he knew he didn't need to. Jason, despite being only two years older than Tim, popped the tailgate on the truck, jumped up, and then easily lifted his motorcycle back down to the ground with a grunt.

It was unfair, really, that anyone was capable of putting on that much muscle.

"So, what do you think?" Jason asked, walking his bike to a small garage and pressing his thumb to a hidden bio-metrics scanner to unlock the garage door.

Tim frowned at the motorcycle. "Doesn't look too worse for wear. I told you it would be fine in the back."

Jason rolled his eyes dramatically. "No, idiot. What do you think about being back in Gotham?" he asked.

"Oh," Tim exhaled.

He took a moment to breathe in the familiar smokey air tinged with the scent of cooking bacon and car exhaust. He looked around the alley, with it's rows of small low garages and trash cans. There was a sad cold looking cat across the street that met his eyes briefly before squinting at him in challenge and hopping through a broken window with a yowl.

"I don't know. It's fine?" Tim said. "It's familiar. But, not in a bad way."

Tim was surprised to find that his words were true, even as they fell out of his mouth. Gotham still felt like home, even if he wasn't a bat.

"Good!" Jason said with a smirk. "So you can come visit the girls sometime."

"Jason," Tim said, grimacing.

"Just think about it," Jason said, holding his hand up. "Things are different around here now. Who knows, you might like it," he said with a shrug and a wry smile.

It was Tim's turn to roll his eyes. "Fair enough," he said, turning to walk back to his truck.

"You have my number, right?" Jason asked, following Tim and leaning on the side of the truck as Tim jumped into the driver's seat.

"Yep. I got it," Tim reassured him, patting the pocket that held his shitty burner phone. It held only a few phone numbers, Alfred's, his neighbors, and now Jason's.

"So, I don't know, don't be a stranger then?" Jason said, watching Tim with a doubtful twist to his otherwise devil-may-care smirk.

"I suppose, if you crave my attention so much, I can do that," Tim said with a much more believable smirk.

Jason snorted through a laugh and swung Tim's door shut for him, slapping it a few times in farewell before stepping back. Tim waved at Jason as he pulled away, his truck swaying and rocking over the uneven surface of the alley.

Before he knew it, he was back on the interstate and steadily leaving Gotham in his rear view mirror.

He had a lot to think about. He had two homes now, both with their own advantages and disadvantages. He had people he had left behind and new friends he had made on the farm.

But, he wasn't anxious as he drove back to his little farm, the radio buzzing all the way. The future no longer felt oppressive and scary. It felt like it held possibility. Things were always changing and that wasn't a bad thing anymore. Sometimes that change was for the better.

Tim was determined to chase those good changes. He believed they were waiting for him, if he was just willing to reach out and grasp them.

[sehtoast]

Web Design and Love (Homelander x OC Smut)

18+ | 2.1k | Rimjob, blowjob, handjob, prostate milking, full body massage, sublander vibes | Fic Directory

"So, Homelander," the interviewer began. "One of your team seems to be quite the little web designer."

He knew exactly what question was coming. Frankly, he was sick of being asked. They'd agreed to keep their relationship quiet, but…

"Why does he do it?" She asks. "And who's the lucky gal?"

He bites his tongue to keep from snorting a laugh at her assumption. Every so often, Ben picks a bridge and weaves an 'I love you' of webbing between the cables and arches for him. If he’s having a bad day, if Ben's feeling mushy, or sometimes just on impulse.

Me.

That's what he could say. What he wants to say.

He does it for me!

But… That would let the cat out of the bag. Course, he doubts Ben would really even care.

"The bug's a big softie," he chuckles. "Could be for anyone. Family, friends…" He trailed off. "His partner."

No denying he was irked not to be able to claim the moment.

"Who knows?"

I know.

"Well, folks," she gives a delightfully fake grin for the camera. "The mystery remains! Who is Spider-Man in love with?"

The flight back was nothing but racing thoughts and irritation, but at least he was going home. Back to his little web artist, to warmth and love, to kisses and hugs and everything he adores. Walking into his little love bug’s suite was the best fucking part of the day, by far.

"Hmm," Ben hums against the back of his shoulder. "Saw your interview today. Your leg got jittery after she asked about the bridge, hehe…"

Did it? He hadn't noticed.

"Well, you know how it is when you constantly get asked stupid questions." Homelander replies. "Especially when you can tell they're just picking at you like a giant fuckin' scab, all smug and-"

"Long day, huh?" Ben nuzzles against the shell of Homelander's ear, still knelt behind him on the bed.

"Yeah..."

Homelander leans back against Ben with a heavy sigh. Arms wrap around his upper body, holding him close and tight. It's the best.

He could get lost like this.

He feels a hand snake under his cape and fumble his back zipper down. Feels it slip inside and slide up to his shoulder. Squeezing and kneading.

"Want a back rub?" Ben offers. “Can’t fix your day, but…”

Homelander gives a mischievous, breathy laugh.

"You're always allowed to rub me off."

Ben scoffs and giggles behind him. The sound is like music to his ears.

"What am I gonna do with you, huh?" The bug begins to shimmy the top of his suit away, letting it hit the floor with a heavy thud before peeling away his silky undershirt.

Used to be that he never wore those. The thought never occurred to him to increase his comfort inside the suit, but Ben…

Ben was distressed that he'd, quote, raw dog it in his suit, particularly since the silicone muscles were a separate piece back then. The very next day, his little spider showed up with a stack of shirts, and now he can't imagine not wearing them under his suit. Like a little piece of love nestled under the weight of his false muscles.

He hears a thwip followed by a bottle whizzing by his head.

"C'mon," rings that sweet little voice. "Lay on your belly for me?"

Not that he had a choice. Ben was practically lifting him off the bed to help him shift.

Homelander tosses the pillow off to the side and rests his head against the sheets, inhaling deeply the combined scent of both himself and Benjamin.

Smells like home…

He exhales a heavy sigh, grinning a little when he feels Ben tug his boots, pants, and underwear off.

“Thought this was just a back rub?” He teases, lifting his head to look back at his little spider. Something about him was extra cute today. He wasn’t sure if it was the messy hair, the wrinkled raglan shirt, or the red color seeping into his cheeks.

“Shush and lay down,” Ben says as he straddles Homelander’s back. “Besides, I know you. It’s never ‘just a back rub’ with you. Except that one time.”

He chuckles, letting his mind wander back. It seemed so long ago now.

The night he killed Madelyn…

He’d run to Ben after he tossed Butcher in a parking lot. Woke the bug, broke down completely. Sobbed on him in his bed once the reality of what he’d done truly hit him. They were close by then, but not that close.

Ben had offered him a change of clothes. Both of them knew exactly what that charred odor clinging to his suit really was, and neither wanted it to stick around. Ben sat him up, helped him strip out of the suit. Pressed a cold hand to his heated skin and squeezed. Rubbed the tension from him. Had the fucking courtesy to ignore that he got hard from it.

The consideration to turn down their first kiss– his knee jerk impulse to distract from the pain.

“Not like this.” Benjamin had murmured to him, thumb wiping a stray tear from the curve of his cheek. “Another time… When you’re not hurt. When your heart and mind are at ease.”

It would always be such a strange memory. One that bristles just as much as it comforts.

He didn’t even realize Ben began touching him, rubbing lotion across the expanse of his back, sitting right on top of his rear.

A lazy grin works across his face at the sensation. Strong hands gripping and kneading, thumbs pushing and circling with pressure that had him groaning.

“They gotta take some of the weight outta your suit,” Ben murmurs as he works. “You’re like, really tense right now.”

Homelander gives a weak moan of acknowledgement, right hand idly stroking at Ben’s knee.

Ben works his way down the column of his spine, massaging deep every step of the way. Weird to think that the strongest man in the world could carry so much tension or have any crunchy muscle knots. He works back up, moving to knead the length of Homelander’s arm all the way to his hand– where he focuses extra.

The bug presses his thumbs all around Homelander’s palm and squeezes each finger before moving to repeat the process to the other.

“Still with me, pumpkin?” He asks.

Homelander nods, eyelids heavy. God, what a difference to the day he’s had…

Ben’s hands trail lower and he shifts to sit further back. He palms each cheek, pressing deep to reach the muscle before working in slow circles. Each motion spreads his flesh and bares Homelander’s hole, and Ben swears he noticed it twitch at one point.

But he waits to do anything. Not until he’s got Homelander’s entire body rubbed down with lotion and every muscle in his legs soothed does he ghost a thumb over his rim.

“Fuckin’ tease,” Homelander breathes, cock twitching against the bed.

“I told you earlier. It’s literally never just a back rub with you.” Ben reminds him, leaning down to kiss across his left glute. “Besides, you’d wake up in, oh… like an hour or two anyway because you got all horny in your sleep.”

He teases a breath of air before licking a stripe from sack to hole, tongue wriggling at the puckered flesh, still kneading at Homelander’s cheeks. Ben draws back and spits before diving back in, working him looser and looser.

Homelander reaches back, arm like jelly, to palm at Ben’s hand. He links their fingers as he moans into the bed, hips pushing back slowly to seek more, and his eyes roll when the tip of that tongue finally wiggles inside.

Ben rims him for a while, slow and delicious, before letting off.

“Roll over,” he directs.

Homelander groans but does so nonetheless. He feels excitement tingle down to his toes as Ben shimmies to straddle his waist. He wants to strip him, have him slide all wet and warm down onto his throbbing cock, ride him, fuck him silly and sleepy.

Instead, Ben reaches for more lotion and slathers some on his chest. His fingernails scratch softly through the tufts of hair before he begins to knead into the pectoral muscles.

Homelander gives a weak thrust, and, in return, Ben thumbs at his nipples.

“You make cute faces when you’re like this, y’know?”

His eyes flutter open and he feels breathless. The ceiling light frames Benjamin in such a way that he looks as though he has a halo.

He’s ethereal.

Ethereal and a tease.

Ben’s fingertips ghost down the length of Homelander’s abdomen, tickling him before snaking back up his chest, past his neck, all the way to his face. Benjamin thumbs at the corners of Homelander’s jaw, watching with delight as his lover’s eyes rolled back. He feels Homelander’s cock twitch against his clothed core when he leans to press a featherlight kiss to his lips.

Homelander’s tongue rolls free to lick, but Ben’s slinking back down the length of his body before he can have a proper taste of his little spider.

Instead, he keens as two fingers press into him, stretching his spit slicked hole until Benjamin is knuckle deep. Ben’s right hand slides up his inner thigh, and he feels a glob of spit land on the tip of his cock, running off onto his lower abdomen.

“F-Fuck…” He whimpers, fighting his rolling eyes to try to watch.

Ben leans down and presses his tongue to the seam of Homelander’s sack, licking up the entire length of him to the head. He goes back down, dragging his lips instead. He fingers Homelander slowly, searching for that precious little spot that always makes him–

“God!” Homelander groans, arching off the bed.

Ben smirks, peppering kisses to his sack. “God’s not the one with his fingers in your ass, silly.”

“S-Shut…” He tries to retort but is thrown off once a hand grasps his cock. “Mmm, fuck…”

Ben jerks him slowly while tonguing at the tip, all the while still pressing circles against his prostate with practiced precision.

His body feels so hot, head so light, mind so empty. The stresses of the day fall away and it��s like they were never there to begin with. His only thought is of giving weak thrusts of his hips to seek more– how, oh god, how can he get more? More, more, more…

“O-Oh, ffffuck!”

His hands tangle in Ben’s hair, head falls back, back raises from the bed when he finally comes. It shoots through his body like liquid fire, tingling from his spine through every limb. His breath catches on choked moans and tears collect in his eyes. Every relaxed muscle tenses in perfect synchronization and he feels as if his entire body has been reset.

Below, Ben’s head is squeezed tight between his trembling thighs as he swallows every drop from his cock, fingers teasing slow and firm inside him.

The noises spilling from him would be fucking humiliating in front of anyone else.

He whines and squirms, moans and writhes as Ben milks him, sending him crashing into another climax mere minutes later. He can hardly breathe, can’t even open his eyes to see how beautiful his little spider looks throating all of him.

The first coherent word off his tongue is Benjamin’s name, whispered in repeated prayer. He feels kisses dance up his body, but his whole body feels like jelly now– not just his limbs. It’s like Ben pulled all of the bad out and left behind only bliss.

Methodical little kisses trail up to his neck, over his cheeks, his forehead, and then finally his lips. Ben lays against him, indulging him in the most sacred of their moments.

The after. When the only thing in the entire world was each other. Just soft caresses, soothing kisses, warm hands wandering…

From behind closed eyes, he sees the bedroom light flicker off, feels the breeze of the ceiling fan starting up, hears the little plastic remote hit the headboard as his little spider puts it back down. His hands dance up into Ben’s shirt, splaying over his back.

He hums low, weakly pulling the garment free. He wants the skin-to-skin contact especially tonight.

Lips press to his temple before Ben shifts, snuggling into him like the perfect puzzle piece.

“Get some sleep, pumpkin.” Benjamin whispers to him, hand stroking over his chest. “Love you.”

As he drifts away, he knows it to be true.

He knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is love.

[be-side-my-self]

Rewatch of Only Murders In The Building to prepare for season 4 (IIII)

<Part I> // <Part II> // <Part III>

Block #OMITBRewatch if you don’t want to read notes that will have spoilers up to seasons 3. Just to make it clear, while quoting, I use M, O, C for the main characters.

Also I’m putting this under a read more because it gets long.

S2 E3

C: "I kissed Bunny on the lips" and that saying after he mentioned that Bunny is potentially his sister.

Oh, right. It's Bunny's last day.

Bunny: "I can't belive this is my last day. As board president."

Aww, Bunny :(

Love how the main three re-tell what happened to their fan-club.

Nina learned a lot from Bunny.

Uma and Bunny are such good friends, it's cute.

Bunny: "Is that your cute way of saying you don't want me to go?" Uma: "No, go. You know I have a key. Maybe I'll go into your place and wear all your stuff." Bunny: "Fuck you." Uma: "Fuck you."

It's fun how everyone seem to love Bunny if they aren't living at the Arconia.

She is giving that waiter so much money to fullfill his dream.

And as Mable says, she is a badass.

And Charles says "What would we do without you?"

Both of that just gave Bunny a boost.

And then she is instantly reminded that it's her last day. The one thing she always loved to do... the one thing she lived for.

Incredible... also Howard is great at taking minutes.

"And Nina shows her true face."

Please invite her in! Please! ;_;

Go to her Apartment! Invite her!

There had been three instances at which they could have saved Bunny.

S2 E4

I wondered if Lucy appears in S2 or S3 and it's season 2 which makes sense.

"She is an angel in Flip Flops, pitta putta!"

A wheelchair and a touch of dementia... how did the studio plan to redcon that? In case Charles is innocent?

Oh Oliver... your son needs you.

Oh look it's Teddy.

Oliver: "So... how is prison?" Teddy: "Actually... Transformative. I don't know if you konw Master Han, but he's helped me realize... I don't have to act on my thoughts." O: "Ah." Teddy: "For example, right now, the thought of ringing your neck, really stimulates my root chakra, but it's probably not worth losing three of my mindfulness badges." O: "Ah. Th-that's... That's good..."

O: "Well, I guess I'll see you around." Teddy: "Oh, definietly. Because I'm going to fuck you, Oliver." O: "Excuse me?" Teddy: "I'm going to fuck you. I'm not sure... when or how quite yet, but I'm going to fuck you. Hard. Harder than you've ever been fucked before. In a way you won't see coming. Until one day, you'll slip your knubby little fingers into one of my dips you love so much and realize... you're choking. Choking on a big heaping bowl... of fuck." O: *snort* Teddy: "Namaste."

Teddy is awful but holy shit he is hardcore.

I love how Mabel now is supposed to talk with the teen and then, being almost 30. also doesn't understand anything. Same though. DSM-5; 100 gecs (never heard of them except for omitb)

The knife in the ceiling is such a crazy thing...

Yay Lucy!

I love stuff like that... passage ways and caves and bunker...

The design changes to the Arconia are so ugly...

That is tragic... but that is all on you Teddy. You should have protected your son instead of using him.

The whole episode is about parent-children relationships.

Oliver being there for his son.

Lucy saw someone in the walls.

Jan is a freak.

S2 E5

Ah, the iphone ring tone

"Son of Sam"... we used to play that but it's call "murder at the disco".

Also fun that Teddy and Oliver knew each other since they had been... teens? early 20s?

So... I guess Teddy had learned how to hide his tells from Oliver? On the other hand, Tedd had not been Tim Kono's killer.

Lmao... Jan is a freak. But why waste internet time on TikTok? Use the 10 min of internet for pornhub. That is a better use of that data.

It's kind of clicheé to ask another murderer for help... like... hmmm "Silence of the lambs"? Ever heard of it?

Oh shit, I just remembered the secret that Will does not know about.

The two old white men talking american politics and having another bestie moment while Mabel just wants to figure out the clue.

Great, that the fanclub hears about the secret passageways.

O: "Our fans! You rascals."

I have to admit I wondered if Alice was the killer too. Because she fit the "profile". And I guess also because I did not really like her? She is a great red herring.

The fans actually seeing it all as a story and not reality...

Lmao Charles being protective about Mabel.

Alice: "Can I say I couldn't be more excited to meet the both of you?" C: "Oh!" Alice: "And hold on. Charles, were you not in..." M: "Here we go." Alice: "... that swedish movie, with the tempestous throuple that go camping and torture each other with orgasms?" Charles: "You saw 'Encounter at Uppsala'? I played the park ranger." Alice: "Fabulously, by the way. If it were anyone else's hands, it would have just been an average peeping tom. It's one of the most memorable half-scenes of the entire film. Honestly."

There is so much about that sentence alone to talk about. xD Like, How many memorable half-scenes wher ein this erotic swedish movie? Charles hands? Did you even see his face? Also how big is the chance that if Oliver had learned that Charles would have had *another* part in the movie he would instantly google it? Also how did Charles get the part in a swedish movie?

O: "And how did you see this movie?" Alice: "I took a class on deviant sexuality in Scandinavian cinema."

WHERE? also was it a british or an american class and did your professor call it deviant and why?

This is Olivers episode.

Also how he tells Charles that he is as uncomfortable as he always looks and then leaves him be to be completely uncomfortable between a bunch of people he does not know and then Charles instantly makes an ass out of himself.

Alice: "This is demented. I'm in." ... yeah no.

with murder at the disco, the one who wrongly accused someone would also die.

It's crazy that Oliver got the murderer in the game wrong... makes you wonder... also Mable was the son of sam?

I guess it's easy to lie about your life back in England when you're in New York.

... oh Charles...

Lol, are they aware that usually prison calls are recorded?

oh lmao Oliver was right about Alice being Son of Sam!

and ... there it is... holy shit...

S2 E6

you really start to feel for Poppy because Cinda is such a bitch.

Jan: "What? We never broke up." C: "Well, I guess I just assumed." Jan: "Why? Because I tried to kill you?"

... well...

Jan: "How many times are you gonna make me apologize for that? You're all I have, Charles. Are you really gonna leave me in here, all locked up, and not in a sexy way. I still love you. Is that crazy?"

Yes, Jan. That is crazy. But it's even more crazy that Charles stays... but also so understandable. He is scared too.

CINDA: "I need to poop!! Come in and say I have a call!"

Oh right, Joy!

Lmao Oliver and Mabel instantly knowing that there is some chemistry between Charles and Joy.

C: "Because she's not my type." Lucy: "What, emotionally stable?" O: "Age appropriate?" M: "Not incarcerated?"

The show is so good with red herrings. It's great.

The glitter bomb is such a good idea.

Was the whole episode of the Cinda podcast just two minuts?

Lmao Mable being just pissed at Charles for talking with Jan, because she is also protective towards Charles.

Also she is right, Jan killed Mable's friend.

LOL how they miss the bomb. It's a dramatic scene and the background is so silly...

Lmao letting Sazz do the breaking up is so crazy and also so genius. But also Uh Oh!

Incredible...

Uh oh... there is the bad thing Alice did...

I actually thought that it happened in Mable's apartment. But it's the studio.

Charles and Oliver are besties.

Poppy is so clever...

But also the glitter bomb worked.

Oh fuck! right... Mabel stabbed someone...

Poor girl...

And that was the most awkward hug in history.

[highly-opinionated-ramblings]

"Bruce, my man," Oliver said loudly as he entered the Watchtower's cafeteria, "today would be a good day to delete your social media apps for a little while. Take a break, come back in a few months or so."

Bruce sighed. "What is it now?"

"Nnnnnnothing. Don't worry about it."

"Really," Barry added, seeing that Bruce was unconvinced, "it's nothing important. Just some random person stirring up drama."

"Hang on, you don't have a guy who handles that stuff for you, do you?" Hal asked. "Like a secretary, or something?"

"Wayne Enterprises has a social media team. Personally, I have Tim, who makes it his business to intervene on my behalf more often than not."

"Well, tell him to delete his socials for a while, too."

"It's just drama, right? Nothing either of us haven't seen before, I'm sure."

"Uhhh," Barry said, exchanging a nervous glance with Oliver, "well, this one's going kinda viral. Any kind of statement on your part would probably make it worse rather than better."

"Barry, I promise, I've been 'viral' lots of times in my life. You're probably worrying too much."

"Look, I'll tell you if you want to know," Oliver said. "I'll do it. Are you really sure you want to know? Are you really, really-"

"Oliver."

"Alright, fine. Have it your way. Earlier today, somebody posted, and I quote: 'billionaire playboy' is just a nice way of saying that Bruce Wayne is a SLUT."

Bruce snorted. "Is that all?"

"It's going viral," Barry repeated carefully.

"That's fine. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?!" Hal asked incredulously.

"Wayne Enterprises just put out a Transparency of Operations report last week, I was worried it would be something about that."

"Still, the comments.... the comments..."

"Highly entertaining, I'm sure," Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, they really are." Oliver grinned. "Some great memes in there."

"It's split about half and half between people slut-shaming you, and people saying we shouldn't be slut-shaming anyone."

"My favorite part is that there's a bunch of people defending you who claim to have actually slept with you during the height of your slut era. And they're all making a point to mention how nice you were about the whole thing!"

Oliver threw back his head and positively cackled. Hal laughed, too. Barry attempted valiantly to remain merely concerned, but even he had to bite his lip to stop from laughing. Bruce merely shrugged.

"Well, I like to think I kept it respectful with all my past partners from that era. Never saw any point in not being considerate."

"Yeah, you're a real gentleman."

"There's some men in there, as well, saying the same stuff," Hal said. "Does that count as a big deal?"

"Why would it? I've been publicly out as bisexual for almost three years now."

"You WHAT?!"

"Missed that one, did you? That also went viral for a little bit."

"You were in space when that happened, Hal," Barry said. "Remember that time you were gone for a while, and then as soon as you got back, Lobo was running around causing all that chaos? It was then."

"That's- you should have remembered to tell me about that, Barry! That's a pretty big deal!"

"No, it's really not."

"Shut up, Bruce. What the fuck does it mean to be 'publicly out', anyway? How did that even happen?!"

"Someone approached Wayne Enterprises about sponsoring the Gotham pride parade, and a couple of associated LGBTQ+ focused charities. So we gave them some money, and they invited me to give a speech as part of the event. I thought it would have been inappropriate to do so just as an ally."

By this point, Oliver was bent double, laughing so hard that there were tears in his eyes, and even Barry was snickering at the the look of mixed disbelief and confusion on Hal's face.

"That's... that's... I can't... you're not normal! I need you to recognize that you are not a normal person!"

"Noted."

"I'm sure it was actually inspiring for a lot of Gothamites," Barry said. "They looooooove their Bruce Wayne out there, after all."

"Sure. I'm not ignorant of the influence my standing affords me."

"Well, I still think you should stay out of this one. And Tim, too, definitely don't let him intervene on your behalf here. But it's good to know that it doesn't bother you."

"Yeah, I aspire to have skin as thick as yours. Any tips?"

"Maybe being a slut has something to do with it."

"BRUCE!"

[willowbird]

"Matthew Boyd, I swear, if you utter one more pun--"

"You'll punt me off the roof?" Matt asked, grinning far too wide even as he lifted his strawberry shake and took a long drink through the straw. They were at the cafeteria closest to Fox Tower, grabbing lunch before they would head to the library to get some homework done before practice this afternoon.

"Yes! Wait." Dan blinked then groaned. "UGH! You are awful. Terrible. Not funny and not at all cute."

"Aww, babe you think I'm adorable."

Dan snorted. "I most certainly do not." Actually, she most certainly did - but she wasn't going to admit that now, not while Matt was being ridiculous with his puns. Someone thought it would be a GREAT idea to leave a daily pun calendar on his desk and he'd been fucking insufferable all week. Dan was tempted to blame Aaron first - because as Matt's roommate he had the best access - but something told her that Aaron wouldn't set himself up for that kind of torment.

Matt gave a forlorn sigh. "It's alright, you may shun me now but I've made it through addiction - I can make it through this."

Dan rolled her eyes. "Your struggles with addiction cannot be compared to my lack of appreciation for stupid puns."

"Maybe you're right," Matt said with a sigh, but he was smiling too much for Dan to feel anything other than suspicion. "My viagra addiction really was the hardest time in my life."

"..."

Dan stared. Matt grinned, laughing as he hurriedly dodged the chicken nugget she hurled at him across the table.

Unfortunately, the nugget continued flying and smacked right into the back of a very blond head the next table over in the cafeteria. Dan's eyes widened as Andrew turned around and locked eyes with her.

"Oh shit!" she hissed, ducking down.

Matt turned around and then quickly whipped back to face her when he saw who was behind them. "Dan!" he squeaked in alarm. "You're gonna get us killed!"

"Bold of you to assume I would interrupt my lunch for murder, Boyd," Andrew said, suddenly right by their table. Next to him, Neil was munching on a chicken nugget.

Matt jumped so suddenly that his knees hit the bottom of the table and he hurriedly had to steady his drink before it toppled over. "Fuck!! How do you guys do that?!"

"Do what?" asked Neil, sipping a shake that he definitely hadn't been holding five seconds ago. Neil made a face then passed it to Andrew, who accepted it and slurped loudly without looking away from Matt.

Frowning, Matt looked from the two diminutive menaces to the shake down to the table in front of him - where his own strawberry milkshake was missing. "Hey!" He whipped his head back up and reached out to take the shake back but Andrew was just out of reach.

One fine pale eyebrow rose in skeptical appraisal, Andrew apparently utterly unimpressed as he took another long suck through the straw.

Dan watched all this with wide eyes, but when Matt turned pleading puppy-dog eyes to her she snapped her mouth shut and smothered a grin with the back of her hand. Clearing her throat, she looked from Matt over to Neil and Andrew, ignoring how Neil had yet another chicken nugget that she knew he must've stolen from her even though she hadn't caught the actual theft. Instead, she focused on his slightly shorter counterpart. "Sorry about the nugget-assault, Andrew. Matt was just driving me up the wall with his puns."

"Puns?" Neil asked, now holding a little boat of fries - though Dan had no idea where those would have come from, as neither her nor Matt had grabbed any before they sat down.

"Yeah, someone left a daily pun calendar in Matt and Aaron's room, and Matt has been torturing me all day." She wrinkled her nose. "I thought it was Aaron at first, but..."

Andrew snorted. "Aaron hates puns."

Neil nodded his agreement. "He thinks they're "auditory poison"," he added, the hand not holding his boat of fries lifting to form air quotes.

Matt scoffed. "What?! No! Puns are great!" He paused, appearing to think for a moment. "Well, except for math puns." He made a face and reached across the table to snag one of Dan's chicken nuggets - but there was no way Dan was letting him take a single morsel of deliciousness while he was still standing firm on his pro-pun stance.

She slapped his hand out of the way and ignored the pout he turned on her at the denial. Instead, she looked back at Andrew and Neil. Andrew was still sipping on Matt's shake, and Neil... had a plate of stir-fry he was deftly picking at with a pair of chopsticks.

Dan just stared at them for a moment before she shook her head and just rolled with it, one sorta had to do that with Neil and Andrew sometimes. "Anyway," she said, then cleared her throat before saying, "that's why the chicken nuggets became projectiles." There was a four-heartbeat awkward silence, in which Andrew slurped up the last of the shake and deposited the empty cup on Matt's tray.

Then, without offering anything at all by way of an acknowledgement or farewell, Andrew turned and started walking toward the cafeteria exit.

Dan blinked, watching him go. When she looked at Neil, the stir-fry was gone and his hands were tucked into his own back pockets as he rocked back on his heels, watching Andrew walk away with a disgustingly fond look on his face. Before Dan could even think to comment, Neil caught her eye and flashed a small smirk. "Don't worry, he forgives you." Then he, too, started to walk away.

Except, when he got about five paces away he called over his shoulder, "And not all math puns are bad. Sum of them are pretty good."

It took a moment for that to sink in, then she sank down into her chair with a groan, burying her face in her hands as she tuned out Matt's triumphant "HA!".

This fucking team would be the death of her.

[sandinthemachine]

Can I get the "I'm not scared but if you are you can hold my hand" with könig I need more of this ball of anxiety. Maybe watching a scary movie or everyone going through a haunted trail? Maybe he's scared of the anamatronic shows that are in the malls and doesn't wanna walk past them cause he saw 1 (one) FNAF video and thought it was real. Idk what one you use but I just need him being a big baby lmaoo

I have been trying to write this for a month so I kinda decided fuck it let's polish it best I can and post it now

The camel idea came from a farmer I know (sorry, buddy, it was too good not to steal), and the jello idea...uhh, congratulations, you know one (1) weird fact about me :/

enjoy!

Words: 1159ish

-

“I don’t get it, it’s just a ton of water.”

You gasp melodramatically, shaking your head. “König, you did not just call the ocean ‘a ton of water.’” You hold your fingers up to make exaggerated air quotes.

“That is what it is.”

You make a frustrated sound, flinging your arms up, only to be met by a chuckle. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

He bursts into a full-on laugh. “You should see your face when you get frustrated, it gets so cute and scrunchy.”

You squeeze your shoulders up, glowering, but he sees right through it, swinging an arm around them and pulling you into his side to kiss your hair. You bite your lips, trying to hide the growing smile, but he knows it’s there.

“Alright them,” he straightens up, clearing his throat and trying to school his face into something serious. “Let us go see what is so special about your ocean in particular.”

You smile. “Trust me, your mind will be blown. But you have to wait a bit. I need to swing by the barn first, I promised I’d check in on the calves this morning while the farm hands are busy with planting.”

You were overjoyed that König was finally getting to visit your hometown, but with his busy schedule the only time he could come see you was smack dab in the middle of planting season. Luckily you did mostly barn work, so with a healthy amount of convincing and only a little promised overtime your manager had decided to let you have your afternoons off. It was still early in the season, so there weren’t too many calves yet, and it shouldn’t take long at all before you could enjoy your first day of adventures with your partner.

“I could come help, you know. It would go much faster.”

“You would do that?”

He snorts. “Of course I would.”

You beam at him, wrapping him into a tight hug. “You’re the best,” you mumble into his chest.

“I know.”

You scoff, shoving him away with a laugh.

-

As you swing the barn door open, you’re greeted by a rumbling bellow that has you leaping backwards. “Holy shit, I completely forgot.” You turn to König, blushing a bit. “So it turns out we’re babysitting a camel right now for the next farm over. He’s really loud but he’s not that bad, I promise.”

König freezes. “No. No way.”

“What?”

“I don’t do camels.”

“What do you mean you don’t-”

“They are tall and weird.”

“So you two should get along perfectly.”

“This is no time for jokes!” König throws his forearms over his head and turns around.

You snort. “Is it the neck thing? Are you afraid of alpacas, too?”

“I am…” he pauses, letting out a rushed breath. “I am not afraid of camels.”

“Of course, of course. You’re not afraid of anything, big guy. But…you know, we could get this done faster if we split up, I’ll muck out the camel while you do the calves next door.”

“Uh-uh, no way I’m leaving you alone with a camel.”

You shake your head at him, breathing an exasperated sigh. “So what, then? You think you can go near him without having a heart attack?”

He glares at you, and you throw your hands up in surrender before turning and heading back into the barn. You hear his stomping footsteps follow you, but as soon as you go up to the camel’s stall, they freeze.

You pause, turning around to take in the sight of König. Tall and broad, a soldier through and through, easily one of the scariest people you know. And here he stands, arms crossed tightly over his chest, bottom lip puffed out. Pouting like a teenager.

You can’t help but giggle at that. “Come on, then.” You hold out your hand. “I’ll guard you with my life, I promise.”

He scoffs, turning to glare at the wall. “I don’t get scared,” he grumbles. “But…if you are, I’ll hold your hand.”

“Oh, I’m terrified.”

“Fine, then.”

-

Luckily it’s a day where the camel decides to be well-behaved. So an hour later the two of you recline on the beach, sweaty and smelling like the barn, laughing over ice cream. Well, you are. König finished his in two bites.

You glance up, eyes finding his. “So what gave you such strong feelings about camels anyway?”

He sighs, leaning back on his forearms. “It was a…what’s the word, those places where you go to touch all the animals and…”

“Oh! Petting zoo.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Sooo…what happened at the petting zoo?”

He chews his lip, glancing down. “I was small…well, smaller, and I was feeding the animals. And I kept holding out the food to the camel, and then…” he chuckles, swiping a hand over his mouth, “every time it would try to eat I would jump back and laugh at it, and it made the silliest sounds.” He trails off, face going deadly serious. “And then it…spat…all over me, and my entire family laughed.”

You nod, chewing on your tongue. “Yeah, that’s…” you swallow, staring at your ice cream, “that sucks.” Your voice cracks and you bite your tongue, trying not to smile. “How old were you?”

“12.”

“WHAT?!” You cackle, slapping your palm over your mouth and falling back into the sand, shaking. “You…when you...when you said really little I thought you meant,” you guffaw, burying your face in your hands, “I thought you meant actually…”

“It’s not funny,” he says flatly, staring out to the ocean. “I am traumatized for life.”

You snort. “That’s what you get for being an asshole.”

His head snaps back towards you, but the side of his mouth is curling up slightly.

“Hey, it’s okay.” You sit up, patting his shoulder in mock camaraderie. “I’m afraid of jello.”

“The…food?” His eyebrows scrunch as you nod and he gives you a weird look.

“I mean it!” You grin. “When I was a kid I’d always have nightmares about drowning in jello, my mom couldn’t even take me through the jello aisle at the grocery store because I’d start crying.”

He stares at his knees, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

“I know you’re smiling.”

“I’m not.” He shakes his head emphatically, only for his shoulders to immediately shake with laughter.

You chuckle, joining him.

“You know,” he leans back again, grinning. “I’m gonna make you jello someday.”

“Please don’t.”

“I will.”

“I’ll bring a camel into the house if you do.”

He giggles. “Yes, go to the grocery store and buy a camel.”

“I have my ways.”

“I’m sure you do,” he scoffs, pulling you into his side. “I’ll make sure to watch out for stray camels.”

You snuggle into his shoulder. “Yeah, you’d better,” you yawn. “Better watch your back.”

“Always do.” He kisses your forehead, smiling as your eyes start to drift closed.

[angy-mouse]

Puck Bunny Part 3

5.7k, no smut but definite M-rated banter and important plot (unless you're just here for the foursomes in which case you can skip this chapter ig but its pretty integral for the finale)

&lt;previous next>

do you wanna go on a date?

Read 5 Minutes Ago

You stared at the message, sent directly instead of through the group chat. As if that wasn't weird enough, you'd just gone on a date (with heavy air quotes) with the three of them and you had yet to get your panties back, thank you very much. You started drifting down memory lane and forced yourself to snap out of it. This was not lecture appropriate thinking.

You get another text.

with me, idk if that was obvious lol. sap + sam are stuck running drills all afternoon bc they suck

Okay, so not a group thing. That was good, at least. You might be able to walk after all. Except…

Honestly, you don't feel like sex. Not even mind-blowing, four-orgasms-in-a-row, written-by-a-woman sex. You were tired, and still sore, and really craving something fruity but also sweet? Maybe a chocolate orange. Point being you did not feel sexy and imagining a naked man only stirred thoughts of needing to buy lotion.

i was thinking shopping and dinner - my treat ofc - but whatever you want is cool too x

Fuck, you do need a sweater. Damn changing seasons making your sundress collection obsolete. 

You flipped your phone over and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and rolling your shoulders back. Fuck the rest of the lecture hall, you were aceing this class anyway and you needed to check in.

Do you want to see Punz today?

You didn't even have to think about it. Of course you did, you wanted to see all three of them and maybe shove your face in their perfectly perky pecs, but so far seeing them entailed sex, which you were not up for. You didn't think for a second that Punz wouldn't accept a no, but you were 50/50 on whether you would cave at the first touch just to experience that intimacy.

Call yourself a slut, but it was kinda hard to deny a man who acted like you were a literal goddess. 

Next question: do you want to go on a date today?

As long as it was a date-date and not their last idea of a date, that would actually be nice. You were past the awkward small talk stage with Punz, so no fumbling or awkward silences should happen. Plus you already knew he would compliment you to the high heavens, which certainly couldn't hurt your mood.

So what were you waiting for?

You thought, but you couldn't find an answer. A handsome, fit guy who treated you amazing and was great in bed wanted to take you shopping and treat you to dinner. You'd have to be a fucking idiot not to.

You flipped your phone back over and found another text.

no pressure ofc, but id be a fucking idiot not to try spending time with you without the peanut gallery

You snorted, thumbs gliding over the screen to save him from his nerves. Even if he was cute when he rambled.

tbh shopping and dinner sounds exactly what I need rn

A beat where you thought too much and got lost for just a moment. You bit the bullet, putting a heart on the end and hitting send. Then, as an afterthought:

should I change?

what are you wearing?

For a moment you considered telling him you forgot about a lecture you can't miss, and you actually can't go and you're so sorry but maybe next time-

omg wait not like THAT

i just mean last two times i saw you you were wearing a cute asf dress and then that nice shirt with big sleeves and the black skirt so as far as im concerned anything you wear is perfect

He's talking about your lantern sleeve blouse. Something about the way he fumbles, not knowing anything about what things are called and only knowing that he liked them enough to remember makes you just melt.

oh lol well thank you. Did you wanna meet somewhere or…

The response is instant.

ill come pick you up! whens your last class get out?

You tell him and get a thumbs up and heart emoji pairing, then a gif of snoopy doing his happy dance that makes you laugh under your breath.

"Stop sexting in class,"

You flinch and clutch your phone to your chest before recognition kicks in and you glare at Niki. "I'm not sexting," you hiss. "Punz is picking me up for a date." She rolls her eyes. "An actual date." You didn't know why you needed her to be happy for you so badly. Maybe with both your long term best friend and slightly less long term boyfriend both kicked out of your life, you were just craving companionship. It would certainly explain your current disaster of a dating life. 

"Okay," she says but it doesn't sound like she means it. "Just so you know, I only have one romcom binge weekend in me a year, so if this harem breaks your heart, too, you're on your own." 

"I appreciated that, you know." She blinks like she wasn't expecting anything less than snark, but you meant it. You came into your dorm with eyes so full of tears you didn't even realize she was there until she was coaxing you into your PJs and shoving a carton of Ben & Jerry's into your lap. Suddenly your mysterious roommate you only saw once in a blue moon when your schedules rarely overlapped was the shoulder you were crying on, voice ringing through your ears promising you were still the baddest bitch and he was the loser here.

"It's no big deal," she finally decided. "You need to learn people don't deserve praise for not treating you like crap." 

You didn't have a comeback for that, so you finished class in silence.

"Do I get to meet this one, too?"

You can't fight your smile. "You want to?"

"Gotta make sure you're not dropping your standards. Again." 

"I changed my mind: fuck off." She curled her hands into a heart with a grin before you turned away, hearing her chase after you. 'Chase' very loosely translated to 'took four quick steps to easily catch up because she's a lot fitter than you.' Damn skinny people.

"If he just pulls up and honks, you are not getting in the car. Date ends there."

"Any particular reason?"

"A man who can't wait to get out of the car to greet you can't wait long enough for you to come."

You grinned over your shoulder as you walked into the afternoon sun. "Oh, believe me: not a concern."

"Ew,"

"You started it."

"And I'm finishing it." 

Tires screeching on pavement caught your attention, just in time to watch two students nearly get run over by a cherry red Challenger. You bit your cheek. "You don't think…" 

The car came to a stop right in front of the stairs (only because it was physically incapable of climbing them, you were sure) showing off the VAL-U sticker on the back window.

"I do think," Niki said solemnly. A single honk came from the car. "Oh, fuck no-"

"Niki, please," you begged as you watched Punz climb out of the driver's seat in a crisp collared shirt, buttoned only enough to be appropriate in public. You practically melted as he gave you that sparkling grin, running a hand through his blond locks as he climbed the stairs two at a time to join you. 

"I had one rule for you-"

"Sorry," Punz breathed out, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek, close enough you could feel the faint heat rushing through his face. "I slammed my elbow on the horn trying to unplug my phone."

You'd be embarrassed by the loud snort that left you if you weren't so grateful it drowned out Niki's, "you're lucky, valley."

"You look beautiful." It was hard to believe when you'd just sounded like a literal pig. At least, it would be if he wasn't looking at you like you hung the stars, hands sliding back on either side of your waist until he was holding you gently against him. His lips ghosted over yours. "I missed you, bunny."

You missed him, too. “You saw me two days ago,” you say instead, but you let your hands link against the nape of his neck as he gives you a soft kiss. Something more than a peck, but nothing you were embarrassed to do in front of Niki. Something just right.

“And it was painful,” he announced, squeezing you tighter against him like he knew it would make you giggle into his neck. “Forty-eight hours with Big and Rich for company.”

“Are you ever going to run out of demeaning nicknames for them?”

“Haven’t yet. Hi-” It takes you a second to realize he’s talking to Niki over your head. “Friend?”

That one was directed at you, so you hum an affirmative and gently peel yourself away to run through introductions. Punz only lets you get out of one arm, the other moving to hang over your shoulders with a squeeze that clearly said ‘that one stays.’ “This is my roommate, Niki. Niki-”

“Punz,” she mused, offering her hand. “I know all about you.”

“Is this a shovel talk?”

“No. I don’t talk before shoveling.”

“Niki,” you beg, but Punz gives her a firm shake.

“Big fan of that,” he declared with a grin. “I’ve got a buddy with a truck, we should get you two in contact.”

She nodded solemnly. “Alright,” she directed at you, “you can go on the date.”

“Niki!”

She took your keys off your bag. “I’ll take your car back to the dorm. Don’t get pregnant.”

“NIKI!”

“Bye, Niki,” Punz cheered with a cackle, arm around your shoulders keeping you from chasing after her to commit some mild manslaughter. “Nice to meet you!”

“Don’t say, ‘nice to meet you,’ when she’s humiliating me.” You got a kiss pressed to the side of your head instead of an apology as he started down the steps, dragging you along with. The gentle pressure of his arm on your neck solidified your feeling like a yappy chihuahua being tugged along by the leash. It all felt a stark difference to the usual sultry air that followed you around these three. This actually felt like a… date. Not a sex on the nearest surface date, but a proper meet the parents soon date. 

You tried not to think about how scary that was.

Instead, you thanked Punz as he held open your door, your hand in his as he helped you climb in. You held in a giggle as he shut the door behind you and raced around the hood like he was worried you’d leave without him. “What are we shopping for,” he asked as he threw himself into his seat, but you were distracted.

“Why do you have a suicide knob?”

He grinned, wide and toothy, tongue poking out as he used the knob to wiggle the steering wheel. “Because it’s fun.”

You buckled your seatbelt. 

“Oh, come on,” he huffed, pulling out of the parking lot. “I’ve never gotten into so much as a fender bender with this car.”

“This car?”

“Don’t say it like that! I haven’t gotten into an accident since I was a teenager, is that better?” 

“Yeah, and what are you now, twenty?”

“Twenty-five,”

“Oh my god, you’re old.”

You regretted it as soon as you said it. You were so not at the stage where you could make fun of each other and especially not something as potentially sensitive as his age and why he's still at University-

"Well, you're a brat, so I thought we made a good pair." There's a beat where your mind races, but Punz reaches over to take your hand off your lap and cuts it short. "That was a joke. I know you're not a brat." 

"Only a little bit," you admit, and squeeze him back, a little promise that you didn't take it harshly. "If you were serious about taking me shopping, I could use some warm clothes for fall.”

The car pulled to a smooth stop at the light, and he fixed you with a look like you’ve accused him of secretly kicking puppies. “Dead serious. I love shopping.”

“You’re clearly very passionate about this.” 

He took his stare off you to pull through the light, bringing your joined hands up to his lips. “Well, I have an addictive personality, a great credit score, and excellent fashion sense.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Hey, what’s with the doubt?!”

“Don’t get me wrong,” you promise, using your joined hands to gesture to his open shirt, “today’s pirate-with-no-inhibitions look is super sexy, and I’m a big fan of the pleather pants, but every other time I’ve seen you, you wore a hoodie and basketball shorts.”

“That’s not fair: you always see me after practice! I can't squeeze into these pants while I’m still sweaty.”

“Well, I’m very appreciative of your sacrifice.” You wait until he’s looking at you to pointedly eye up his thick thighs, practically seran-wrapped in black fabric. “Very appreciative.”

“Bunny’s secretly a pervert,” he accused, “God, I’m not a slab of meat.”

“Really?”

He finally broke, laughing so hard he hit the rumble strips and had to swerve back into the lane. “You’re such a little shit! You’re lucky it makes you lovable instead of annoying.”

“You three practically snap me in half every time I see you: I’m allowed some eye candy!”

“I’ll be your eye candy,” he promised, and flicked open another button on his shirt. “Boom.”

“Whoa, now,”

“Too hot?”

“I nearly creamed.”

“I hate you,” he wheezed, shoving the gearshift into park. “Get the fuck out of my car.”

“Rudeness!”

His hand snatched yours when you reached for the door. “Wait, I wasn’t serious!”

“I’m getting out!”

“No, wait for me!”

“I’m getting out, and I’m telling Sam you let me open my own door!”

“No, he’ll kill me!”

“Good!” Despite the snap, you can’t pry the smile off your face and you find yourself staying perfectly still in your seat as Punz races around the hood again. “Oh, Merci,” you chirped, taking his offered hand as you stepped out.

“De nada, my little bunny." 

His arm laid across your shoulders again like you were boyfriend-girlfriend on an average date. He even reached out to open the door for you as you walked into the mall. But you weren't boyfriend-girlfriend, you were a puck bunny brat. "Every time I think you're kinda sweet, you call me that." 

"It's a talent of mine: making an ass of myself. Where do you wanna look first?" 

“I usually go to Salvation Army.”

Punz started walking towards the Aeropostale, dragging you along with. “I’m offended you think I’d offer to take you shopping and take you to Salvation Army.” 

You started struggling, grabbing a fistful of his shirt to try and curb him. Your heels tried to find purchase on the tile, but he slid you across the floor like dragging a sled. “I’m a college student! And so are you, for that! I’m not letting you spend your food cash for the week on clothes for me- Jesus Christ, how are you this strong?!”

He stopped, but it had nothing to do with your attempts. He spun you in his arms as if you were nothing more than a doll to him, something he could carry with him and arrange however he wanted. The thought made you feel equal parts small and bratty, but his hands on your hips made you bite your tongue as he held you close. His eyes were stern, a slight tremble in his features betraying his nerves.

“Alright, I’m gonna tell you something, and I don’t want you to freak out.”

Oh, you were totally going to freak out.

“I didn’t want to say this so soon because it totally changes how people think of me, but you’re clearly going to fight me on this, so here it is.” He took a deep breath, eyes screwed shut in a wince. “I’m a trust fund kid. My parents are loaded.”

It didn’t click at first. Not until you blinked. “... oh my god?”

He nodded solemnly. “I know.”

It was a shock, the same way any new information about someone you knew was a shock: mild brain buffer as your mental file was updated. Other than that, though… You couldn’t seem to care. Other than, of course, another chance to mouth off. “Oh my god,” you performed, shaking his shoulders. “Eat the rich, Punz!”

“I’m not into butt stuff,”

“I hate you,” you lied, trying to push away. “I hate you and your gated mansion community-”

“I live in the frat house, it’s practically a homeless shelter.”

“You and your diamond studded underwear-”

“Where are you getting your information on rich people: Richie Rich?”

“You’re an old rich guy, too!” You gasped, clapping your hands on either of his cheeks. He gave a minor wince from the impact, but it was swept away just as quickly by rapt attention as you pressed your forehead to his. “Am I a sugar baby?” 

“Well, you haven’t actually let me buy you anything yet-”

“Wrong answer.”

He shook his head between your hands, essentially making you slap him repeatedly. “No, bunny, you’re not a sugar baby, not in the slightest. Now, can I buy you more clothes than you can ever wear?”

Your gaze narrowed, but it probably wasn’t as intimidating as you hoped when you had to cross your eyes to look at him. “You swear your wallet won’t feel it?”

“May lightning strike me down.”

It took a moment, but with not even a rumble of thunder, you supposed you had to believe him. “Alright,” you conceded, “but we’re going somewhere that actually carries my size.”

<3E>

“I’ve never been in a Torrid,” Punz admits to you as you walk in.

“Really? You don’t lurk in the lingerie section hunting for big women?”

“There’s a lingerie section?” He’s too excited at the prospect to entertain your sass, but evidently not too excited to take the pants you were looking at right out of your hands. “You’ll have to try everything on for me. Even though I’m adamantly opposed to anything that covers your legs.” 

You tried to take them back and he casually moved out of reach, adding a blazer to his haul. “Just because I’m built like an elephant seal doesn’t mean I’m actually insulated-”

“Hey-” You jump at the sudden appearance of a sales associate, a beautiful woman with an undercut and dangly earrings, and flush at the reminder that you were in public. She points an empty hanger at you sternly. “We don’t do self deprecation in here.” The hanger tip shifted over to Punz. “Are you not telling her how beautiful she is enough?”

You can feel your face turning purple as Punz claims, "I can't: I need to eat and sleep sometimes," and starts plucking one of everything off the racks without bothering to check sizes. 

"Wha- Punz! Stop that! I don't need-"

"What you need is to let me love you!"

Undercut woman has a giant grin as she turns to walk away. "I'll get a dressing room open for you. Name for the door?"

"I don't need-"

If Punz wasn't trying to smother you in twisted affection, you might've started to get pissed off at the way he interrupted you again. "Bunny!"

"You're gonna get a foot up your ass in a minute here!" 

"She don't bite," he insists, wrapping a thick arm around your neck to yank you against him. He starts pressing fat kisses to your hair, the kind where he just puckers his lips ridiculously and smacks them against you. The first few are gross. The next annoying. Then he starts cooing about she's just a sweet little thing and your attitude crumbles like a wall, entire body melting against him like a stray that's finally caving into affection. 

You can feel his lips curl into a wide grin against your head, but you can't make yourself rebuild that wall when he's nosing your hair away from your ear so he can whisper, "are we done being a brat, baby?" 

“...yeah,”

His finger crooked under your chin, gently lifting your lips to his for a soft kiss. “Yeah? My sweet girl’s gonna let me dress her up?” 

My girl.

You stole another kiss, dropping one on Punz’s jaw as you pulled away for good measure. “At least grab the right size, you big lug.” 

You may as well have promised him a puppy. His grin stretched wide across his face, bottom lip pulled between his teeth before he ducked his head, hiding from you. He nuzzled into your neck, puckering his lips so they just barely grazed your jugular, feeling your pulse race. “Yay,” he murmured, arm around your shoulders sliding down your back until he could grip your soft waist. “Because as hot as you look in this dress, I don’t approve of how the leggings hide away our tummy.”

“You mean my tummy?”

“I’m filing for joint custody. You don’t appreciate her enough.”

“I appreciate her just fine. It- fuck me, now I’m doing it! Give me something to put on!” 

He cackled, tugging your collar aside to check the tag and leaving you to rifle through the racks. “I’m gonna build you some outfits,” he promised, flicking through some camisoles to add to his armful. “And I wanna see every single one.” 

“I thought you wanted to make it to dinner at some point.” 

He found one in your size and handed you the completed stack. “Then you’d better run that cute ass into a stall for me. Ooh, swimsuit sale!” 

You huffed and rolled your eyes all the way to the back of the store and all the way into the dressing room until the door was shut behind you. You only allowed yourself the time it took to strip and redress to think about how warm you felt inside. How nice it felt to have someone who wanted to drape you in silks and pouted when you made him settle for overpriced plus-size fashion. Someone who was ready to watch you try on one of everything, knowing full well how long it’d take.

You settled the blazer over your shoulders and turned to the mirror, lips pressing together.

By no means were you ashamed of your body… but you leaned more towards ‘screw the world I don’t owe it to you to fit your beauty standards’ and less towards ‘I’m fat and fuckable.’ 

The flared pants sat just too low to tuck away your muffin top. No matter how you tugged on the camisole, it couldn’t cover that inch of skin- unless you wanted to walk around with your bra out.

“Shoppin’ for my baby!” Your gaze snapped to the door, hearing the rhythmic shuffle of feet. “Shoppin’ for my bunny!” You slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing- if he heard you, he might stop singing. “Shop ‘til you drop! Bop-bop-bop! Gonna get a crop- top! Yeah, I could’a been a rapper. Fuckin’ missed my calling.”

“You so did,” you called out, threading the buttons on your blazer as you bumped the door open. “What would your rapper name be?”

“Lil’ Pucky,” he called back without hesitation as he turned. Blood rushed through your ears as his jaw dropped open, eyes cruising up and down your form so intensely you worried you’d forgotten to put clothes on at all. “Hello, bunny.”

“Hi,” you giggled. You gave a twirl and laughed when a swoon of “oh, ass,” passed his lips. “You like?”

“I love.” He groped for your waist, pulling you into his chest until you could feel his heartbeat through your right tit. “I changed my mind: you can wear pants, but only these.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yup.”

“These are better than the leggings?”

“Leggings are too tight. Anything that delays me from getting in your guts for more than six seconds is going in the bonfire.” 

Your hand came down on his shoulder and he pretended it hurt, stumbling into one of the plush chairs. “That’s why you wanted to take me shopping! You figure if you buy me enough, you can get rid of everything you don’t like!”

He couldn’t even pretend to feel guilty, a grin wider than a fucking canyon stretching across his face. “It’s gonna be short dresses and tight pants if I have my way.”

“And what makes you think you’ll get your way?”

He held out his hand, a silky two-piece bathing suit with a halter strap top and a skirt layered with frills dangling from his fingers. “Because I found this in your size-” his other hand revealed a mesh shopping bag half full, “and enough panties for Sam to steal as many as he wants.” 

You accepted the swimsuit to try on, but gave an apologetic smile. “I’m very picky about my underwear: I don’t want you to be upset if I don’t wear what you pick out for me, okay?”

“Don’t worry, I’m working off a reference.”

There’s two beats where you process his words before you’re beating him with the swimsuit. “You’re the one who ended up with my panties?!” 

Punz didn’t even move to block your hits, hand coming up to lay over his heart. “I pledge my allegiance every morning, first thing.” 

“Where did you hang them?!”

<3E>

“I can carry something, you know.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.” Punz piled the bags all onto one arm as if he took your offer as a personal offense to his strength and very manhood, looping the other around your waist. “Taking a fine lady out and making her carry her own bags- who do you think I am?”

You’re getting used to his dramatics: you barely acknowledge him as a stall catches your eye. “Ooh, boba!”

His arm doesn’t budge around you, but it doesn’t keep you in place like you’ve experienced before. Your path shifts towards the drink shop and his elbow pulls straight for barely a second before he shifts right with you, letting you lead him wherever you desired. “That milky stuff with the gross balls?”

“Yes, but no.” There’s laminated menus on the tables so you pick one up and scan the flavors. “You’re thinking milk tea with tapioca pearls. I get fruity tea with popping pearls.”

“You’re really cute, but I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I’m gonna blow your mind right now.” You slipped your card out of your purse as you walked up to the counter to make sure Punz knew you were buying this time. “Hi, can I get a large strawberry fruit tea with green apple pearls?” 

He barely gets out the total and asks for a name for the order before Punz slaps his card on the machine from the side. "'Punz': exactly how it sounds, but with a 'Z'."

"I was gonna pay for it, asshole!" The only response you get from him is his signature on the pad- which is nothing more than a colon and a 'P'. You stuck your tongue out right back, skipping out of reach to snatch up a straw from the pick-up counter. "You're gonna let your guard down sooner or later." 

"You make it sound like you're gonna kill me." You drag the straw across your throat. "Wow," he snorted, pecking the tip of your nose, "total savage." 

“I know. I’m totawy scawy.”

“Fwightening.” 

“You’re a dork,” you informed him with a huff of laughter, stabbing your drink as soon as it arrived. “Poison check,” you claimed, taking the first sip. You skewered a pearl for him before handing it over. “Alright, taste that thang.” 

You waited eagerly as the straw passed his soft lips, on the edge of your nonexistent seat as he took his first sip.

He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s alright.”

You rescued your drink before smacking his arm. “No taste!” 

“It’s about as good as fruit can get, but it still tastes like fruit. Give me a burger any day.” 

“I’ve never met such a dumb man,” you huffed, sipping for yourself.… Okay, so it had too much ice, but it was still delicious!

“Liar,” Punz accused as you started your walk again. “You’ve met Sapnap.”

You bumped into him with purpose. “Yeah, but it’s cute on him.”

“Ouch, you’re really wounding my pride there, bunny,” he drawled, making sure his sarcasm seeped through every word. “As if I could be jealous of Sappy.” 

You could feel your lips curling into an evil grin around your fat straw before the thought of what to say even formed. “I don’t know: he’s cute, and strong, and a gentleman, and he’s great with his tongue-”

“Alright, you’re pushing it!” A cry left your lips as he snatched your cheek, pinching only hard enough to pull it around a bit. “Talking about another freaking guy this much, even if he is my teammate-” 

“Leggo uh meee!”

He gave another yank before releasing you with a huff. “Such a little brat…”

His tone changed. It was slight, but there was a definite change- enough to make you stop and backtrack. Did you push too far? Was he actually insecure and being compared to Sapnap was a jab in the gut? Or maybe he was just getting sick of your attitude when he was treating you like a princess. 

“I’m sorry.” Punz let out a small noise from the back of his throat that you took as prompting to continue. “I don’t know why I even said that, but I’ll try not to be such a- such a brat.”

“It’s okay,”

“It’s not-”

“Why are you upset?” He turned to look at you properly, pulling you to a stop once he saw your expression. 

You huffed, frustrated that you had to say it out loud, but more frustrated at yourself. “Because you’re wonderful to me-” His hand came up to your cheek, warm and soft, and suddenly your eyes were clouding up. “And you don’t deserve all the snapping I do-” There’s a lump growing in your throat. “And I don’t even know why I say that kind of shit because I’m having a great time with you-”

“Oh, honey bunny.” You caught a glimpse of his handsome face twisted into concern before he was pulling you into a nook for some semblance of privacy, setting your bags on the floor before hauling you tight against his chest. “Oh, you’ve really worked yourself up over this, huh?” You know it’s not really a question, but you find you’re nodding into his shoulder anyway. You don’t even feel like you’re crying: there are tears streaming out of your eyes, but that’s it. Almost like someone’s left the faucet on and forgot about it. 

Punz’s lips press firmly against your head, hands rubbing circles against the tense muscles in your back, like he was trying to find the button that would make it all better. “Can I tell you something, bunny?” His lips briefly twitch into a tiny smile when you nod mindlessly against his shirt. “I know you’re having a good time. And I am, too. And I know you just like chatting shit. Makes you feel strong, huh? Like you’re big and in charge?” You didn’t even realize it before he put it into words, but he was exactly right, earning another nod. “And you wanna know something else?

“I like chatting shit, too.” You pull back as you realize the tears have stopped, and he only lets you go a few inches before he’s holding you still with warm hands on your waist. “The boys told me all about your drive before our movie night. You know how Sammy threw his little tantrum over your seatbelt?” His choice of words pulls a throaty laugh from you that makes him grin. “We all want different things when we’re with you, bunny. Sam wants to make sure you’re taken care of, so when you brat, he’s gonna nod and take it until you run out of steam and ask him nicely, then he’ll give you anything you want.

“But I kinda like to fight, bunny. Nothing mean, but when you poke me, I wanna poke back. I think it’s fun just like you do, and I think we could have a good time pushing each other to the limit to see who gives.” His lips twitched. “Now, Sappy: I think that boy just wants to die under a big woman, so you gotta watch out for him, make sure he’s still breathing when you sit on him-” 

You try to smother your laughter because this is serious, but then you’re imagining a headline that says, ‘Local Man Attempts Suicide By Pussy,’ and you break into manic giggles that send you right back into Punz’s chest as he laughs with you. His hand rubbed up and down your back, slow and soft, melting your form against his. 

You turned your head once the giggles calmed down, taking a deep breath of his cologne while you listened to his heart. “I still feel bad,” you admitted. “Like I pushed too far.”

“I promise you didn’t, baby.” The speed of his answer makes you melt just a bit more. “I get being worried about it, though, because I do, too…” He hummed as he thought. “Sappy said you guys decided on a safe word?”

You nodded against him. “Pineapple,”

“Pineapple. Okay, so how about we both promise that if the other crosses a line, we say ‘pineapple.’ Then we know it’s an actual ‘no’ and not just more playing. How’s that sound?” You give another nod that he returns with a squeeze. “You want me to take you home, baby?” You’re shaking your head without a second thought, pressing yourself deeper against him. You get another squeeze in response, a silent, ‘I won’t leave you.’ “You wanna get some dinner?”

You forced yourself to pull away, his fingertips trailing over your body as long as they can until they hook onto yours. You beamed at him. “That sounds really nice, old man.”

Punz laughed. “Let’s go, then, brat.”

[16bruises]

As the World Falls Down

Eddie Munson x Reader fluff

If you like this please do tell because i filled a good chunk of my writing journal with profile details on how i’m going to write Eddie, Robin, Steve and (y/n)

set on June 26- June 27 on 1986

she/her pronouns are used

“I think you’d like this movie coming out soon, Labyrinth, it’s by Henson-”

“Isn’t he.. the muppets guy?”

Robin sighed obnoxiously in response, “Yes, he is the,” she threw her hands up to air quote, “muppets guy”

Robin stopped to think for a moment, trying to remember what she was talking about initially before propping her chin onto her open palm and speaking up again

“But anyway, I think you would like it, I saw the trailer for it and it’s all that fantasy kinda stuff you’re into!” Robin smiled.

“Hmm” I paused for a second, “When’s it gonna be in the movie theaters?”

“The 27th”

“Tomorrow?”

Robin nodded

“Yeah, I just might wander in and see that then” I smiled, “Hey, I’ll see you around Rob, say hi to Harrington for me” Robin snorted before giving me a quick thumbs-up, quickly trying to get back to organizing a new shelf of movies.

–

I checked the paper for movie times and decided to go to the 11 a.m. showing. Unfortunately, I am the way I am and put off getting ready to go until I had 5 or so minutes which lead to me destroying my room in an attempt to find something clean enough to wear and grabbing a hand full of stale cereal for breakfast.

I sat in the back of the movie theater in case anyone who knew me was present.

I didn’t get any popcorn or anything, I always get distracted eating it and lose track of what’s going on in the movie and I don’t like standing in line for the snacks, I always feel so awkward just standing there.

While in thought, fidgeting with my rings, the theater room darkened. I lazily shifted my attention toward the big screen

–

By the time the movie was over my eyes stung from how little I had shut them. Buckley was right, I really really liked this movie. It was just so cool. Every minute of it was so captivating. And hey- I’m not the biggest Bowie fan but my god as Jareth he was so sick.

I usually don’t get all that wrapped up in movies but this movie had me in a headlock. I want to see it again even, with her though. I think she would like it, she likes cool stuff.

While I walked back to my van, all I could think about was seeing it again, with her.

The thought alone made me feel giddy, I want to see how she reacts to everything.

–

I headed over to Family Video, to tell Robin how good the movie was, and to say thanks for

recommending it to me. I swung the door open making Steve look up and raise his eyebrows.

“What’s got you so pumped Ed?” Steve asked, leaning over the front counter.

“Is Robin here?”

“Just missed her man, she’ll be back in 15 if you wanna stick around”

The shrill ring of the phone went off, Steve groaned and mumbled something along the lines of “she knew” and “she left on purpose”

I lingered around the back of the store, and lazily read the titles of the movies. Occasionally I could hear Steve trying to reason with whoever it was on the phone.

“Ok, Chris, you cannot rent any more movies until you bring the ones you have out back”

A little hypocritical, I’ve had like 2 or 3 movies from this place for the past year and have no intention of ever returning them.

The phone call ended pretty quickly. Steve set the phone back in place and sighed in relief. It was quiet for a second. I was reading the back of some Vampire movie, from what the back said it’s like The Outsiders but in California. And with vampires..

Steve cleared his throat, “Ed, your girl’s walking in” I put the movie back on the shelf and darted out of the aisle and back to the front counter, Steve looked over at me and snorted, “You’re so fucking whipped”

I glared over at Steve but quickly whipped my head back to the door when the chime rang out and a gust of warm, summer air rushed in.

“Hi Eddie” She smiled, making her way towards me and wrapped her arms around my waist as soon as she got close enough

“Hey pretty girl” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

“Hi (y/n)” Steve loudly said, making her laugh

“Hi Steve” her voice was slightly muffled by my shoulder

Steve rolled his eyes, “Robin will be back any minute now so you can just hang around till she’s back but hey! No funny business you two” He pointed toward us

“No promises Harrington” I smirked back at (y/n) and giggled.

Steve was about to head toward a shelf that had some movies knocked off but was caught off guard by the phone ringing again, he looked back at me before picking up the phone and shook his head, and said, once again, “no funny business”.

I chuckled at him and turned to (y/n). She was walking towards an aisle, I quickly followed behind her.

My focus was back to fully being on her, like usual. She turned to face me and wrapped her arms around me again. “What are you doing here?” I asked, bringing my hands up to hold her face, she smiled and tilted her face sideways to kiss my hands.

“I wanted to swing by and see if any super hot and gorgeous guys with long brown hair and pretty eyes were here”

“Sorry to tell you sweetheart but I don’t think you’re gonna find a guy like that in Hawkins”

I said, trying to sound as serious as possible. She sighed dramatically but the moment our eyes met we were both trying hard not to laugh. She laughed but slapped her hand over her mouth when she remembered Steve was on the phone. I snorted and pulled her into my chest.

Once we both calmed down, I kissed her forehead and reached to hold her hand. I glanced over at Steve, who was unfortunate enough to still be on the phone with someone loud enough that I could hear them demanding a refund.

I looked back down at (y/n). I pressed a kiss into her hair.

“I saw this new movie earlier, in theaters, and I want to see it again with you” I mumbled into her hair.

She looked up at me and smiled, “That sounds fun, what was it about?”

“I can’t tell you, it’s gotta be a surprise” I grinned at her annoyed expression

“What’s it called?”

“Labyrinth”

“Sounds interesting”

“I can pick you up later if you wanna see it tonight, they have another showing at 8. It’s like two hours long so you could stay the night at my place,” I kissed her cheek, “If you want”

She grinned up at me, “Sounds fun, pick me up at 7:30 so we aren’t late”

Steve set the phone down and sighed. The door chimed and Robin walked in and laughed at the sight of Steve, “Mrs. Chandler, right?” Steve nodded, “She calls like every day because her son checked out like a ton of movies and won’t return them”

Steve rubbed his face before darting up, “Munson wanted to talk to you, he’s” Steve looked over toward the aisle where I was standing with (y/n), “he’s over there”

I lifted her hand that I had been holding up to kiss, “I gotta go talk to Buckley, are you gonna stick around here or are you gonna head back home?”

“I’m gonna get a movie and go home, my mom asked me to pick her up an Indiana Jones movie because she’s totally in love with Harrison Ford” She giggled.

She pulled her hand out of mine, “I’ll see you at 7:30 lover boy”

—

“Do you want to get any popcorn or candy?”

“No I’m good, my mom had me eat before you picked me up, this stuff’s all overpriced anyways.”

She reached down and laced her fingers with mine

I chuckled and squeezed her hand as we headed to the theater room

Once we got to our seats (y/n) wrapped her arms around my arm and rested her head on my shoulder.

I reached down and rested my hand on her thigh, making her lean in closer to me.

“You’re gonna love this movie baby girl” I whispered. She hummed in response and kissed my shoulder.

—

“Hoggle, what have you done? Everything’s dancing…”

“Damn you Jareth! And damn me too!”

Sarah fell to the forest floor and succumbs to the hallucination

She looks around and finds herself in a heavily packed ballroom, everyone wearing intricate masks except for her

She was in a beautiful white dress, jewels were carefully woven into her hair

I leaned close to (y/n)’s ear, “the song Bowie’s singing right now,” she peeked up at me with a confused look on her face, “when we get married we should have this song play at some point”

Even though the theater was dark I could see her bright smile, I grinned as she hid her face in my shoulder.

—

Jareth, disguised as the white owl, watched Sarah from her window before turning away and flying toward the moon.

I looked down at (y/n) and she looked back up at me

“So what’d you think?”

“That was such a pretty movie Eddie”

I smiled and leaned down to press a kiss onto her lips

“pretty?”

“yeah it was pretty- all of it”

The credits started rolling and with that, she and I promptly stood up and headed toward the exit. I slung my arm over her shoulders as we walked through the main doors and out to the parking lot. There was a comfortable silence between the two of us, any moment with her though, is comforting, to me at least.

“Were you serious when you said you’re gonna marry me, Eddie?”

“Yeah”

“Are you sure?” her eyes flickering from the concrete to me

“Pretty girl, I wanna be with you forever”

“Forever is a really long time, Are you sure you won’t get tired of me?”

I gasped dramatically and drop my arm from her shoulders and hold her face in my hands

“It’s only forever” I murmur before leaning in to kiss her

“Oh my god Eddie you are so CORNY” she groaned but she couldn’t hide her beaming smile

“only for you pretty girl”

[herzzgeist]

"Beautiful Mind" - 3) It Has To Be You

Pairing: Law x fem!reader | Word count: 1.6k | Warnings: none

"Damn, I didn't expect for it to snow today." - "Here, you'll catch a cold.", Law slips out of his jacket and wraps it around your shoulders. Thick snowflakes glaze through the sky and land on your face. Your warm breath escaping your lips in a smoke like manner.

The man infront of you seems to be lost in thought as he envelops you in the warm black coat of his. Stealing glances at your lips that are shivering from the freezing temperatures while he tucks you in.

What's going through his mind? It's downright unlike him. Why is he here in the first place? You look down examining the oversized piece of clothing: "Gosh you're tall, this is a dress for me." - "You should wear it at the next fashion ball."

Puzzled you look up at him, squinting your eyes. Suspision keeps on growing. "Are you serious?", you ask through the leather collar. The doctor just stares at you. Are you genuinly asking or are you fooling him? He couldn't spot the difference. One thing was clear to him though, you look quite adorable.

With a snort Law responds: "Yes, absolutely." He turned and begins to walk the path down town. Exclaiming a small "Oh" you follow him suit. The little sound you just gave from you made him roll his eyes, but gods was that entertaining.

From this day forth, the surgeon of death learned that you, dear (Y/n) have little to no sense of sarcasm. That made him laugh, inwardly of course.

The snow grew stronger the closer you two got to your destination.

You were on your way supply shopping. The temperature fell drastically. A welcome change to the heat that spread on your face. You were still embarrassed by the fact that Law found out you were the one running away from him last night.

"Fuck, why did I have to eavesdrop on him?", you felt ashamed. Burying your face in your hands you make a little squealing noise. To your luck the rest of the crew didn't suspect anything. At least.

One thing got to you the most, why was your book in the shelf of your Captain? The thought of him reading the quotes and ridiculing it makes your face go red again with a distinct "poff" from your ears.

"He must think I'm childish", you mumbled and narrowed your eyes to the ground. Realizing you reached a crossing you looked up at the signs. To the left it said "Ruby Barn" and on the right sign it was written down "Antra town".

It's just a ten minute walk, let's see what the shops and stands have to offer today, you thought to yourself, trying to rid the recent events out of your system.

When you were about to take the road to town, you hear a voice behind you: "(Y/n)-ya, on your way to get the supplies I see?"

Here you are, walking alongside your Captain, who oh so casually made you shrink into your seat in shame this morning. Be that as it may, wearing his coat made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. If he were about to ask you to give him his jacket back, you'll probably have to decline.

"(Y/n)-ya, why did you run away from me?", that question ran over you like a rolling barrel right now. Did he really just? There is no escape now. Stuttering you explain to him every detail, coming to the point where you eavesdropped him: "So when I passed by I saw the lights were still on...so I got nosy and..."

Law sighs briefly and turns to you. Of course his expression was firm, yet his eyes had a hinge of amusement in them. "So if I understood correctly, you heard that part when I was reading the cover out aloud and in distress you made a run for it and face planted onto the floor?" - "Y-yes."

You feel stupid for telling him, but lying was getting you no where. A blush creeps over your cheeks and you exhale deeply: "I feel ridiculous. I must apologize."

Was it your imagination or did you hear him chuckle: "And the book? Do you know anything about it?" - "Well, it's mine." This made the doctor tip his hat and he can't help but grin over both ears.

Seeing him like this makes you anxious and you laugh nervously, asking him what he's on about. "Oh, nothing. I just had a funny feeling. It just hit me."

Flustered you give him a playful nudge into his side. "Captain, you're killing me", you jest. The mood of the conversation is steadily becoming more relaxed.

As if it wasn't enough, he adds: "And why did you leave it on my shelf?" - "Oi, it wasn't me! I don't even remember where I put it last!" The warm and fuzzy feeling crawled up inside you again, but this time it's not coming from the coat.

Your hand automatically reaches out to your heart, it's pouding nearly imitating a marathon. Trying without him to notice, your gaze flickers over to him. First try and of course you failed, Law caught you eyeing him.

Both of you startle that moment, but you don’t stop looking at eachother. He mumbles, sounding like he has to reassure himself: "But it had to be you." - "For pete's sake, no Captain!"

You snort into laughter and shake your head in disbelief, facing the path infront of you. This man is as stubborn as ever, his steel orbs still haven't left you and his voice lowers into a more serious tone: "It has to be you."

Again, you huff and giggle until you notice Law's unbreakable focus on you. He's being sincere with his opinion, but it sounds like he's talking about a completely different topic now. The way he pronounced his last sentence made your heart skip a beat.

The two of you come to a stand and an unsettling silence washes over you. Subtle sounds of the cold wind and snow falling to the ground echoes in your head. Not realising, he steps closer to you.

About to say something you part your lips, his eyes following your every move, but the sound of hooves trotting on the frozen ground makes you snap out of it.

A carriage approaches from behind and stops beside you, the horse snorting and shaking off the snow from it's back. An elderly woman calls out: "Hello kind strangers, need a lift to the next inn? There's a snow storm rollin' in."

Above your heads clouds begin to swell up and turn dark grey. You kindly wave off the offer from the kind woman: "Thank you, but I think that won't be necessa-" - "Yes, thank you."

The doctor's quick intrusion makes you pout. What is it with him today? Is this even Trafalgar Law standing infront of you? Starting to wonder who he might lost a bet to, he motions you to climb up the carriage.

"Be careful, don't mess up my coat." - "You mean my ball gown.", he rolls his eyes to your comment, but can't hide the dimples forming in the corners of his mouth. Taken aback by that sudden touch on your hip he helps you heave yourself up on the vehicle.

Enjoying the ride, you in- and exhale deeply, with the cold now a bit more bearable. Glittering ice crystals float by in the air flow. You sway in your seat happily: "Ah, I know why I love winter." - "Mhm." The Captain grumbles and rests his head on his hand, his arm leaning onto the guard rail.

Curious you turn to him: "You don't like winter?" The vibe change made you worry, if not even a bit sad. Pensive he answers: "It's not of importance." You thought he would reply in a more harsh way, like shut up or it's none of your business.

Slowly you scoot over and gently prod against him: "Hey, look at this." He pulls himself together to see what you're up to. You reach out your hand and it only takes a few seconds for a snowflake to land in your palm. "Take a close look at the flakes. I sometimes imagine somebody up there in the sky forged these tiny crystals made of glass and drizzles them down to earth, only for us to see. Aren't they beautiful?"

His dark thoughts start to fizzle out again, seeing you this cheery only for a few snowflakes in your hand: "You are beyond help, (Y/n)-ya." This makes you laugh and watch attentively how the crystals melt into your palm.

The woman driving the carriage cackles: "What is a sweet couple like you looking for in Antra?" Both of your heads shoot up by that question. Too suprised you can only stutter flustered: "O-oh we're not a pair, he's my Captain." - "Oh! Pardon my quick conclusions, dearie."

By the looks of the man next to you it took him off guard just as much as you. The tip of his hat is pulled down to hide his face, as he takes in the frozen environment. Is he annoyed? You wonder.

Law on the other hand ponders to himself. This woman sitting next to him is clouding his mind and he doesn't like it. At all. Granted, he's satisfied with the fact you admitted to your inexplicable behaviour that night and the way you confessed it was your book, simply delightful.

What was he thinking? Trying to rid those thoughts he pinches the bridge of his nose. Out of all people, it has to be you.

[league-of-sam]

As Grim as the Reaper | Simon 'GHOST' Riley PREQUEL

Ghost x Reader, Graves x Reader

CHAPTER EIGHT

Phillip Graves x AFAB!Reader!OC 18+ MINORS DNI! t.w // angst, mental health, language, violence, death, sexual themes/SMUT, military inaccuracies, language inaccuracies (google translate).

As Grim as the Reaper: Masterlist

Standing atop the building as the sun set, you looked over the city of Urzikstan. 

After liberating the airbase, it was quiet...peaceful.

It looked beautiful.

"You have a really beautiful country, Farah." You spoke quietly.

The two of you, being the only women, had been killing time and getting to know each other better between updates from Laswell and the other liberation forces on ground. You'd found that you had a lot in common, and it was bonding you well.

Farah was a woman you would want in your corner; strong, beautiful, courageous. A natural born leader.

"Thank you, Reaper-"

You stopped her, pulling your mask down to offer her a smile, "Call me (Y/N), please."

It almost felt wrong that you were coming across as distrusting, when she'd saved your life earlier that day. So you showed her your face, and gave her your real name. She seemed to appreciate your openness, flashing a wide smile back at you before going back to rolling her cigarette.

"May I ask why you wear that?"

"To keep my family safe. Hides my identity enough that they can't be linked to me. Which I've found was a smart thing to do, when your brother is Captain Price." 

She laughed, then, shaking her head, "I thought you seemed familiar. I think it is the accent."

"Yeah, it's not very subtle, is it?" You laughed back.

Your conversation was interrupted by the crackling of the radio, Farah's forces confirming that AQ had taken over the hospital, and were using the civilians there as human shields to protect someone, or something.

You stood watching the streets below, as Alex and Farah spoke.

"Where will you go when this is over?" Farah asked him.

He sighed, hands moving to rest on his vest, "Wherever they send me." 

"You don't choose?"

"Not exactly." Alex scoffed. 

"Well, you're a brave man, Alex."

You stifled a chuckle as you saw his cheeks redden, and he cleared his throat, "Uh, yeah. Thanks, cuz."

"Rest up." Farah smiled, "Tomorrow is a big day."

"What about you and your men?" He asked.

"We'll be here until sunrise." Farah said, taking her position and raising her sniper to her eye. 

It was silent for a moment, you looking between the two of them as Alex stared at the back of Farah's head, a small smile playing on his lips.

"I'll cover the open corner."

Farah turned, raising an eyebrow to you as you both watched him do exactly that. Squatting down in the dust and resting his gun on the broken bit of wall in front of him.

She smiled, and turned back to her weapon.

"Is he always like that?" She whispered to you.

You giggled, standing up and brushing off your trousers, "Unfortunately, yes, but you get used to it."

With that, you left her to her thoughts, not missing the way she looked back to Alex and smiling to herself once more.

How cute.

You made your way over, kicking a few rocks out of the way to clear a nice area for you to set up next to him.

"Hey, Casanova." You nudged him as you sat down. "Here's a wee bit of advice, best friend to best friend - maybe don't refer to the women you'd like to sleep with as 'cuz'." 

You snorted as you used your fingers to imply air quotes around the word, still in disbelief that he was this incapable of flirting.

He groaned, rolling his head back on his neck, "Yeah I know- wait I don't want to...oh fuck off, angel. God, I sounded like a jackass..."

"Yes, yes you did. But I reckon you're well in there."

"You think?" He said, and the hopeful tone in his voice melted your heart.

"Oh yeah. She likes you."

You wiggled your brows at him, and he pushed you away playfully, the two of you giggling like schoolgirls.

But Farah was right, tomorrow was a big day, and you needed rest.

Tomorrow, down goes the Wolf.

Dust and smoke billowed around you in the town, being kicked up and disturbed by the various vehicles zooming around you.

You sat in the tailgate of a truck with Hadir, Farah, and Alex, waiting on the support that Laswell was sending you.

"Echo 3-1...?" A voice said.

"Call me Alex."

You turned, seeing a group of marines approaching you. A group you'd come to know very well over your time in the US; the Demon Dogs.

"Sergeant Griggs," You spoke, dropping down in front of the man, "You and your Dogs are the best Laswell had to offer?"

"All day, Sergeant Price. Didn't expect to see you here, gorgeous." He flirted, "Commander Graves know you're here?"

"I don't report to Phillip Graves." You rolled your eyes with a smile.

This made Griggs chuckle, "Nah, but he sure is protective over you. Think he might have a thing for you."

"I'll say." Alex butted in, causing you to elbow him in the side.

Griggs smirked, and then turned to Farah, "No locals on this one. Not my call."

With a hand to her shoulder, you bid goodbye to Farah, before being pulled forward, taking up the left side of Griggs, Alex on the right.

"Demon Dogs, time to take this shit to the fan!" Griggs called, rallying up him men.

You laughed as they whooped and jeered around you, making perfect formation as you swept through the streets. 

You and Alex were set on disarming the wire traps that had been scattered around in an attempt to slow your ascent on the hospital. IEDs blew around you, bullets raining from above as the AQ did everything they could to stop your assault, but they were no match for Reaper and the Demon Dogs.

You were just too damn good.

Fighting through the streets, you made it to the house at the end, where the rest of the AQ were hiding, shooting down at you from their heights.

"Get up there, Echo. Show us how it's done!" Griggs called.

With a nod to Alex, the two of you leapt forward, breaching the doors and swiftly cleaning house, moving controlled and in sync, like you'd always practised in training. 

Descending back into the street, the rest of the team had arrived, marching through with a convoy of tanks and other machinery in tow. 

This is the closest you'd been to a warzone since your last tour of Afghanistan, and the thought made you shiver, a sharp sting from your side being triggered.

"Nicely done, Reaper." A hand slapped your shoulder.

"Did ya expect any less of me, Griggs?"

"Never."

With the air support and tanks in tow, it took no time at all to push to the hospital, clearing out the AQ for a clear path to the lobby. It seems that, no matter how many bodies you downed, more just came flooding out.

Whatever was here was essential to their cause.

Alex burst through the doors into the ward ahead, leading you and the Marines through the halls. You were actively pulling frightened civilians to safety, pointing them in the direction of your awaiting allies outside. 

"No sign of the Wolf!" Griggs called out as you began climbing the stars to the second floor.

"They're tryna keep us away from something." Alex spoke, turning to check that you were still right behind him.

"That's for damned sure." You answered.

You moved through the rooms, the groans and moans of injured civilians surrounding you as you passed them, discarded on the beds as if they meant nothing.

Farah was right - these forces had no regard for human life whatsoever.

Continuing to fight through, you made it to the end of the corridor, where a room was chained off. Setting a snakecam, Alex was able to look through, finding the Wolf holding two of Griggs' men at gunpoint.

An execution video.

Vaulting through the window, you crouched in an effort to silence your movements, leading the way around and through the next window, which lead to the back opening of the room.

"In here." You whispered, moving in.

"Demons set. Take this animal alive, Alex. Don't shoot him, get him on the ground."

As Alex moved in front of you, grabbing hold of the Wolf, you jumped up raising your gun to the two other AQ soldiers in the room. They raised theirs just as fast, and the popping of gunfire and the breaching of the doors made your ears ring.

But, with the help of the Marines, you got the Wolf.

"You good, Alex?" Griggs asked, stepping past you to him.

"Good, Griggs." Alex nodded, "Omar Sulaman, you are now in custody of Special Operations Force. Do exactly as you're told, or you're a dead man."

"Hell yeah." Griggs spoke, zip tying the man's hands behind his back.

You moved to step forward, but doubled over, a searing pain shooting through your side and your shoulder. You hissed, hand coming to rest over the place where your scar was, only when you pulled it back, all you saw was red.

So much red.

You began to wobble, head feeling light as you watched it drip from your body onto the floor.

"Uh, A-Alex?" You stuttered out as you looked up from your hand.

He turned, confused, handing the Wolf over to Griggs. 

The second he saw you, his heart stopped. 

Crimson blood dripped from your hand, what he could see of your face was paling rapidly, and the way in which the stain on your shirt grew sent shivers down his spine.

Not you, not now.

"No no no!" He yelled, diving for you just in time to catch you as you dropped, no longer able to keep yourself upright. "No no, baby, no. C'mon (Y/N), no you're okay. You're okay."

"A-Alex, f-fuck ow- it hurts it hurts."

"I know, angel, I know- shit!" He yelled, blood now pooling onto the floor around you, "Griggs, damn-it someone get Laswell! We need EVAC now!"

The men around you burst into action, some splitting off to secure the Wolf, while others called around, desperate to get you aid.

Griggs knelt down, using his own medi-kit to try and slow the bleeding as much as possible, but as soon as he placed down the white fabric, you bled through it.

"Watcher this is 3-1! Reaper is down, I repeat Reaper is down we need medical now!" Alex yelled through the radio

"Echo 3-1 this is Watcher, medical evac deploying now, ETA 7 minutes."

"You hear that, angel? 7 minutes, can you hold on for me? You can do that, yeah?"

You nodded vigorously, wincing as he pressed his hands into your wound, desperate to stop the rapid flow of blood.

"It's c-cold, Alex. M'cold-d."

Alex shook his head, moving to place yours in his lap, "No, no, it's alright, you're alright. Help's comin'."

He smoothed your hair, pulling your mask away from your face so you could breathe better, his other hand still firmly placed over your wound. Your eyes were slipping closed, and he knew he had to keep you awake.

"Stay awake for me, (Y/N). Hey, hey- remember you being scared of heights? Tell me about it."

You coughed, blood spatting onto your face as you tried to laugh, "D-don't like...fell o-out a big tree when I was... a-a kid. Hurt a l-lot."

He chuckled, it wasn't exactly the story he expected, but it was keeping you distracted. Keeping you alive.

"No more trees for you then, yeah?"

"Alex, EVAC is 3 minutes out- get to the roof now!"

With the help of the marines around him, he managed to get you onto a bed, wheeling you through the halls until he burst through the door, dust blowing in the wind of the helo's turbines.

On the roof was the rest of the team, as well as Hadir and Farah, who gasped at the sight of you. 

Everyone watched hopelessly as the medics poured out, pushing them out of the way to help you as quickly as possible. The entire time, Alex didn't take his eyes off you, breathing heavily as his heart pounded relentlessly in his chest even after they'd got you stable.

Not you. He couldn't lose you.

Not his angel.

"She'll be okay, Alex." Farah spoke, a soft hand on his arm.

He nodded, eyes not leaving you as you were wheeled away, "Look after her for me." He said, addressing the marine in front of him.

"Will do, sergeant." 

"Hey, angel!" Alex called to you, and you looked over, a weak smile on your face, "I'm comin' back for you, so you better be alive when I get home."

"Yes, sir." You whispered back.

Gently, you were loaded into the helo, too drugged up to even worry about the flight back.

You were going home, leaving Alex behind to finish the mission.

But at least you were alive.